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You revel in the misfortunes that beheld me You embrace me with your sympathy You make me forget what I used to be Then you slap me with your anxiety I frown at your face so giving Confused by the messages I am receiving Try to confront the old nightmares growing Your image of warmth quickly disappearing I try to reach you and you would give your hand But then I still would not understand Your voice, this heart is blown away like the sand I want to love you like I should Give all the things I have that I could But despite all that I still feel fooled For all the love I had before For all the pain I bore from that I just could not bear it once more It's all that I've got You hate me now for my pain It's easy to put the blame on me But you were never there To live this long with this insanity Is it over now between you and me Should I hold on to memories Or let you go and set us free? [Author notes: My first non-BL poetry posted here but I wrote this years ago. This is the first time I am publishing this. This poem was inspired from a difficult and very possessive relationship I had with someone. Believe it or not, I was the one treated like a possession.]

I used yojinchan's poem for backgroud... it in Yojichan poem Confusing... I didn't feeling well so I only did 2 this morning... --;;; 1 D.Gray Man... 1 Fullmetal Alchemist by InariyaFusanosuke... Enjoy! ^^

With out you permision... I did it again... ^^;;; My feeling for the poem with this... I alway want to do one with the background still... I hope you like it! ^^

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VII Back to college I tried to get back to normal. I put Paul’s existence at the back of my mind and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Back to classes I faced my other problem, Thomas. He was waiting for me at the door of my class. I felt how my body got tense, a light sweat drop fell down my spine, I wasn’t prepared yet, but I was determined to change my life, the way I was, l wanted to leave worries behind and enjoy my school life . I took a deep breath and went to him. - Hi, cutie, where have you been? He said - At home, something came up and I had to go. What do you want? - I missed you; he was whispering at my ear, I can’t wait to meet you at your lovely, secret corner. I couldn’t explain what I felt, I wasn’t scared, I was angry, I was desperate to get rid of my feelings for Paul, I thought that maybe he would erase the frustration I was feeling since I met him at home. I was so angry with him. Who was he to yell at me like that? What made him think he had the right to reproach me what I did or not? Why the hell did I told him about Thomas? I was stupid, stupid, stupid of me! I’ve lost him forever. - Patrick?? Patrick? - What? I’ll see you after lunch. I left him standing there, speechless, eyes wide open. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t eat, I was thinking only in what was going to happen later. I started to convince myself that Thomas would make me feel better, so I prepared myself for him. - You’re already here! Good boy! Where you that anxious to meet me? Where your body expecting my touch? - I don’t need to talk, I told him, getting closer to him, touching his hair without looking in his eyes. I just need you to hold me, to make me forget. - Forget him? I can do that and even more. I can make you depend on me, only want me, only think on me. Is that what you want? - No, I just want you to hold me every time I ask you and nothing else. I couldn’t believe what I was saying, what was happening to me? When did become this type of person? My heart ached so much, I felt it empty, my body numb, my hands cold. - That’s ok with me, but in exchange, you’ll have sex only with me, you have to forget him and… - Don’t talk anymore; I said putting one of my fingers in his lips, I could feel his warm breath interrupted by the tip of his tongue licking my second phalanx; I already prepared myself for it. I want to forget him; I want to forget his face. I said trying not to cry. He started to caress my hair, went down to my face, he got even closer, I could feel his breath warming me up. His fingers running up and down my neck and left shoulder. I shivered. He suddenly took my hand and softly said to me: - You know that one of the most sensitive and erotic places in our body are the finger tips? He took my fingers and one by one started to lick them slowly, staring at me with a half, mischievous smile. I started to feel a fire on my body. I felt his tongue going round the tip of my forefinger. Suddenly he started to thrust my finger into his mouth. I trembled at the sensation of my wet finger into his mouth. - Can you feel it, Patrick? Does it feel good? It’s a new sensation. I couldn’t answer, just nodded. I just let him made me what he wanted. I started to feel turned on when he put his other hand in my lower part and stated caressing it. I did the same. He jolted in surprise, giggled and told me to lie down. I lay down`, breathing hardly in anticipation, without opposing him, just with the flow. He started to unbutton my shirt, , kissed my collar bone, then licking the line of it with the tip of his tongue, went down leaving a track from my neck to my chest, licked my left nipple taking his time, making sure that I was enjoying it while pinching the right one. I grasped the grass round me. It felt so damn good. He went down running his tongue through my stomach, following the lines of my abs. - You’re a hottie, ummm, you have a very nice body, cutie, very nice. I grabbed his hair, looked at him and directed him to my lower part. I just didn’t want to lose my time with his flatteries. I was so turned on, I felt the urge to do it.”Just shut up and do what you have to do” I thought. I closed my eyes, chocked back my tears and said: - Just enter me, I said, hardly breathing, just hurry up, please. - No, I’ll hurt you, you need to be prepared - Just do it, I don’t mind you hurting me, I just want to feel it. I don’t want to feel this shit inside my head. Please, make me forget So he did. He entered me. It was very painful but I I wanted to feel that pain. Gradually he started to move slowly while kissing me. I put my arms round his back raising my back. I felt him deeper inside me, he also was breathing with difficulty, but we were both in ecstasy, my nails in his back. - Patrick, I can’t refrain myself, I’m going to start to move more quickly. You’ve to tell me if it hurts, but if you do what I say, you’ll have the greatest time, I hold myself tighter to his neck, I’d follow all his instructions, the only thing I wished was to get rid of my thoughts. - OK, I said panting, do it (pant, pant) do it now! - What is it, Patrick? Have you been wanting me this much? He laugh - In your dr… (I felt a strong thrust) dreams. I couldn’t believe I became such a cold person; anger and pain were making me be someone else. He suddenly raised one of my legs up to his shoulder and the other round his waist. Oh my goodness! How was so much pleasure possible? He increased the rhythm, making sure to follow the rhythm of my breath. I was hardly breathing, turned my face to avoid his eyes staring me. He grabbed my face and said: - Look at me, cutie, I want to see your face, look at me, don’t think in anything or anyone. Just look at me. I looked at him, those intense green eyes looking at me full of desire. They were so captivating that I felt trapped in them. The pleasure increased as he put my two legs round his waist and started to slowly stroke my cock. I was ready to cum... - Not yet, dear, he whispered to me, I want to cum with you and I’m not ready yet. So he kept thrusting, I was going insane, I was losing the sense of reality, I was like in heaven and left my mind run free, I felt Paul’s hands caressing me, I felt Paul’s voice calling my name, I felt Paul’s warmth in my mouth while kissing me. His soft tanned skin, his strong arms round my waist, his tongue searching my tongue… - Paul, I whispered I suddenly felt a strong thrust which provoked a lot of pain - Damn bastard! Were you thinking on him while fucking with me??!!!!

VI It felt a bit weird to be back home. I was happy to see my family but a bit anxious to see Paul. I went to his house, he was at the backyard playing with his ball. It was the only thing I hated about him, his passion for football, I could remember every occasion he “dumped” me because of a football match he played or wanted to watch. He left the ball at the very first sight of me, ran to me and embraced me. - Patrick! Patrick thanks God you’re here! I needed you so much! My heart jumped out o my chest. I’ve waited so long for this. I tried to keep my head cool, those words didn’t mean love and Thomas was stuck on my head, his scent still pervaded in me. . I’m very sorry, Paul, very sorry for your grandpa. I know how much your mom and you loved him. Paul’s dad died when Paul was five and his grandpa had always taken care of him. His mom was alone in England. She met Paul’s father in Okinawa where she taught Nanban-yaki technique to make ceramic pots. They fell in love and she left everything and came to live to England. Paul’s grandfather taught her English and she taught him ceramics. She was beloved by her father-in-law. Paul had few Japanese features. Although his hair was jet black and he had almond-shaped eyes, they were turquoise blue, which made him outstand from the rest of us and made me feel common. Our friends use to said that we were the ying–yang because he was dark haired with blue eyes and I was extremely blond with hazel eyes, because he was tempered and I was calm and also because I wanted to go to University and he wanted to be a sport trainer. I always thought that the fact that he was straight and I was gay made us both sides of a coin. He always wanted to be a strong boy, he didn’t cry when his father died, he didn’t do it when he was bullied first year of high school, and this time too, I knew he wanted to cry, to give his sorrow a way but he didn’t do it if I was staring at him so he laid his head on my shoulder and started to sob. What a nice feeling was this, be close enough to him to feel his warm breath on my neck, his hips next to my hips, his hand touching my leg. Without realizing, I felt aroused. - What’s wrong Patrick? He asked me - Nothing, I said, clearing my throat. I felt uncomfortable, because I had to repress my desire for him. I wanted to grab him, push him on the floor, kiss him and tell him that I always would love him not matter what. - Don’t lie to me, I know something has happen to you, I can read it on your face, you’ve got dark circles on your eyes and you avoid my eyes. What’s wrong? - Noothing, I repeated, I came here to comfort you, not the other way round. Besides, nothing important happened to me. I met someone I finally didn’t like. - You finally met a hot chick, Pat? Who’s she? Is she hot? A brunette? - No, it’s not a girl, it’s an upperclassman, his name is Thomas and he wants to be a History teacher. - Just like you, Pat, and what happened? - Nothing, I lied. I tried to get some distance between Paul and me because I felt a little tremble just remembering the sex we had. I felt hot again and I wanted to leave before Paul realized it. But he had already noticed and grabbing my shoulder he asked me: - Has something happened between you two? Has he hurt you? Is he bullying you? - Umm, I can’t tell you Paul, it isn’t really important. It’s over and I came to know about you and your mom. - Pat, he said with a soft voice I couldn’t resist, don’t lie to me, I know you, tell me what happened or I’ll break your arm. He called me Pat when he wanted something for me, when we had serious conversations. He grabbed my arm and turned to my back, I screamed a bit in pain, he was so close I could hear his heart beat, his pulse. I felt my heart jumping o n my chest. I knew that If I didn’t do anything I’ll tell him and I didn’t want him to know I was gay or that I had sex with a man for the first time. I didn’t want to tell him that I had felt the maximum pleasure with a man who wasn’t him even though I always knew that Paul would never had those kinds of feelings for me. - It’s really nothing Paulie, let me be, you’re hurting me and I don’t want to fight. Just release my arm. - Did that man touch you?? - What??? What are you talking about? A man? I was panicking; I had to get out there at that very moment. - You thought that I was stupid. You think that after so many years of friendship I wouldn’t know you don’t like girls. I didn’t know what to do, he knew! What would happen if he also knew that I loved him? Would he stop being my friend? Would he feel disgusted? - So? What is it you want to know, Paul? If I’m gay (my knees were going to melt , my arms were shaking and my voice trembled) - Are you? Have you been lying to me all this time? - What? I didn’t have to tell you, that’s way too personal and is not as if you asked and I lied. Besides is none of your business - So, you are gay! he was like crazy, you had sex with that man??? Did you enjoy it, bastard? - So what??!!! I cried, what If I did it, what If I’m gay!! It’s none of your business, Paul. I never said a word about all the girls you hooked with, I never got upset because you were changing girlfriend or just had sex with someone you just knew. I never, never…. - Never what Pat??? Never complained about my sex life? So what? You didn’t care, but I do, did YOU or didn’t YOU have sex with that man???!! I’m not asking you again, Pat, tell me the truth right now!!! - YES, YES!!! I did and it was my first time and he gave me pleasure, and I liked it but I regretted it because it wasn’t y…. I stopped talking when I saw Paul’s face and the painful look in his eyes, some tears started to fall down, I couldn’t stand his sad face so I ran away. I kept myself at home the following day telling my mom I felt sick. I knew I was a coward but I couldn’t face Paul now he knew everything. Next day, I went back to college without saying him goodbye.

V My blood started to boil. “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God” I thought. He started to lick my nipples and it jolted my whole body. I tried to fight back again but I was amaze of how strong he was. - Just relax, Patrick, he whispered, it’s going to be fun, you’ll feel good, he said biting my lobe, you’ll love it and I want you to experience this with me and no one else. I couldn’t say anything; he opened my trousers and slipped his hand inside my trunks. A shiver ran through my body. I was really scared, despite all the pleasant sensations I was feeling. It was the first time someone was touching me; it was the first time a MAN was touching me. Regardless I have felt desire for Paul every time I saw him playing football with his t-shirt off or were watching a movie and he fall sleep on my shoulder; I ‘ve never felt what I was feeling right now. I felt like light electric currents running through my spine up to my head; I felt like all my sense were concentrated on one specific part of my body. Suddenly my body started to respond and my breath was unsteady. It was such a nice feeling I couldn’t resist it. Thomas kissed me gently first and then passionately, exploring my mouth, biting my lower lip and suddenly I notice I was kissing him back which aroused him even more. So he went down kissing my chest, my belly till reaching my hips, he spread my legs and concentrated on my most sensitive part at that moment. After a while, that for me was like an eternity, I cum, he looked at me, smiled and kissed me gently. - Now that I have you, I’ll never let you go, he whispered I laid face down, blushing and feeling so embarrassed that I couldn’t face him. What had he done to me? And In the open air at college??!! What’d happened if someone saw us? He kissed the back of my neck and said: - We’ll leave when you’re ready - Can you leave first, please… my voice sounded like I wanted to cry, in fact, that’s all I wanted to do, cry. - It’s ok, Pat, I know you feel embarrassed but get used to it, because I intend to do it every time I feel it. - Leave me alone, Thomas, never touch me again, never get close to me again. I need to be alone just now. Leave me alone!!!!! I cried, crying like a little boy…. .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- I didn’t go to college for a couple of days, I couldn’t face my classmates and I definitely couldn’t meet Thomas. I didn’t know what he had done to me, but I felt hot everywhere he had touched me and every time I thought about it. During those days, I received a short letter from Paul. His grandpa has died. “Dear Patrick: I’m so sorry for all the things I told you last time we saw each other, I wish I could take them back. My grandpa died last week, you know how attached I was to him. I’m very sad Patrick. I missed and needed you. I wish you could be here with me”

Next chapt out of the oven... hehe Just tell me what you think, ok?! IV We didn’t see each other for few weeks. I heard he was on a trip to Shenzhen, he wanted to specialize in Oriental Cultures, so I was at ease. I had found a nice corner in the campus, quite enough to read and have lunch without no one round. I started to spend all my free time there, at lunch and between lessons. My classmates always asked me to have lunch together but I always refused, I preferred to be alone with my books and thoughts. Thursdays were my most quiet days, I only had few classes so between them I spent my time in my secret corner. One day, I fall sleep reading the papers for one of my lessons. “One cannot lose what one has not possessed. So much for that abrasive gem I can lose what I want. I want you” I felt a very soft low voice whispering in my ear, was I dreaming? I was half sleep and so tired I didn’t want to open my eyes. I loved that part of Geoffrey Hill’s poem. It felt so nice feeling the warm of the Autumn sun on my face, that soft voice, those kisses, what a nice dream. Kisses on my cheek, on my neck… Wait! Kisses on my neck were real! I suddenly opened my eyes and saw him kissing me. - What the hell are you doing???!!! I cried - You were so tempting, with your cute sleeping face, you were so peacefully dreaming that I couldn’t avoid it. - And… and how did you know that poem? Why were you reciting it? - Oh… umm… well, I saw you one day at the library with one of Hill’s volumes and I had a look. I liked the poem so I memorized it. Your sleeping face inspired it. “ I can lose what I want, I want you” I like that last verse… I burst out laughing, Thomas stepped back. - You think it’s funny? His smile had disappeared - No, no sorry, I said laughing, it’s just that I’m not used to these things and didn’t expect it either. I took a deep breath, stopped laughing and seriously told him: - I’m sorry, Thomas, truly sorry, but don’t do those things, less to sleepy people. - What? You think I do this to anyone? It’s just you, Patrick, he was staring at me, serious look in his eyes. An alarm started to ring on my head, telling me to run away before making a big mistake. I wanted to run away, what was happening here? How my peaceful afternoon was turning this way? Was this the perfect man? The brilliant student? I felt a knot on my throat. - Well thanks for the poem and the nice awakening, I got to go now He, then, once more told me… - I told you it wasn’t going to be easy, Patrick He pushed me and I fell on my back, he grabbed my hands above my head, damn God, he was really strong. I started to panic, what did he want? What was going to happen to me? My body got rigid, I tried to fight, I tried to push him away. - Thomas , stop it please, it’s not funny anymore, I begged - Who said I was joking. Since the first I saw you, I wanted to have you - What??? I didn’t do anything - Really think so? You must be more concerned to the faces you make when you’re lost and I couldn’t stand the face you showed when you’re best friend came to the conversation at the food shop. A felt a fire inside of me… He licked the tip of my nose, it was ticklish, he licked the inside of my upper lip, went down to my neck, un buttoned my shirt… Oh, my goodness! I thought, is this for real???!!!

And... chapt III, Will Patrick find out more about the brilliant handsome student??? III My first week passed, no pain, no glory. I spent my first weekend alone, no family, no friends. I was feeling lonely and started to think of Paul so to avoid it I went for a walk and do some shopping. I stopped at a Japanese bento shop to buy my lunch. As I was coming out someone patted my head. I raised my sight and there he was, the brilliant handsome student. -Hi there, how are you doing? I hope it wasn’t a tough week. - Hello, I said astonished. He remembered me? I wanted to thank you but didn’t know who you were and couldn’t find you. - That’s true, well… I’m Thomas and you are? . I’m Patrick, very nice to meet you. I’m a first year student - Really? I’m on my third one… -I know you’re a brilliant student admired by everyone… - And what are you doing here? - Oh! Umm... I was bored wandering around, I found that Japanese shop and bought some lunch - You like Japanese food? He said while chewing one of my sushi pieces - Oh yes! I love it. My best friend mom’s is Japanese so I frequently eat it, well… used to eat it… - Umm, best friend uh? What happened, he broke your heart? - I beg your pardon? Why was he asking me that? We just met, I didn’t want to talk about Paul. I still felt sad and missed him, so I tried to dodge the question and leave him before being impolite. -Well, nice to meet you, I got to go, see you round… As I started to walk away from him, he suddenly grabbed my arm and told me -Eh! That’s a bit rude of you, don’t you think?, leaving me alone even when I helped you I blushed at the look of his face, he has a mischievous smile. He pressed my arm harder and pushed me towards him and licked my upper lip bitting it later. - You think is that easy? You’d say “thanks” and that’s all, he whispered softly, huskily in my ear. A shiver went all over my spine. What the hell did he want from me?

Here comes chapter II, I think, I tried to introduce all the character. Hope you enjoy it... II A month passed since that day and there I were wandering round looking for class II-C. - Oh my goodness! Where the hell is this class- I sighed - You should follow that corridor to the end, turn right and it’s the second door on the left I turned my head and all I saw was a dazzling in a very beautiful face talking to me. A tall, well-built young man with green eyes, light brown hair, carrying a thick blue folder. - Sorry, I said - Never mind, I’ll take to your class, you’re doing Anthropology with Mr. Anderson, right? - Yes, I answered, wondering why he knew my classes - Good! He’s very good at teaching, you’ll learn a lot. - Umm, umm, thank you, I answered while following him… - Aha! Perfect timing, your mates are already in and Mr. Anderson is coming. I was left there still in surprise and when I reacted he was already leaving. - What’s your name??!!! I shouted in the middle of the class, everybody looking at me and my face ready to explode of embarrassment. - I’m…. But it was too late, a roar of chairs made impossible to hear his name and the teacher was calling for our attention. I spent the rest of my first day from class to class, meeting teacher, classmates and taking notes. At lunchtime, we were having some bites at the crowded cafeteria. While having lunch, I could have a glimpse of the handsome student who helped me find my class, I wanted to thank him but I didn’t know his name, I waved but he didn’t see me - Who are you looking for? Asked one of my new classmates. Her name was Oxana, a beautiful girl from Bulgary. - Oh! That boy there helped me this morning and I just wanted to say thanks. - Who? Thomas? Thomas Cowan- Stuart? - You… you know him, I said in surprise, he’s kind of famous round here? - Everybody knows him. He’s in his third year, he’s one of the most brilliant students and all the teacher want him as assistant - He’s unreachable, said Oxana, both for girls and boys… He’s so commited with his career, that he barely has friends. I’ve heard he has been in many OIriental countries, he loves their cultures, he even speaks fluent Chinese. It’s the perfect man. I felt a bit disappointed, a perfect man…

Original name: Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku Manga ALT. names: Hitomi no Ori, Lucky Item, Masaka no Futari, You and I of the Revolving World, Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku Original run: 2010 Description: 1. Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku When they were very young, Keito and Tomoya made a promise to be together forever, but after Tomoya disappeared one morning, Keito lost his faith in people. Years later in high school, Tomoya makes a sudden return, but now Keito's no longer a cute little kid Tomoya seems to have forgotten who he is! 2. Masaka no Futari High-school student Akito is too cute! So cute that he's been traumatized by attackers both male and female. When Akito's mother convinces laid back college student Kunugi to tutor him, is Akito destined to be attacked again? Or is Kunugi really just a nice guy? 3. Lucky Item Yazawa Shizuma, receives a visit one night from a middle school classmate, Hanai. Hanai is running from debt collectors and needs someone to take care of his son, Hanai Souta. What will happen between these two? Maizuru from Yubisaki no Koi makes a guest appearance in this story. 4. Hitomi no Ori When he was small, Ran was found at the brink of death by Byakuroku-sama, a non-human man with beautiful eyes. Byakuroku-sama now employs Ran as a jack-of-all-trades, often undertaking dangerous missions and depending heavily on his loyalty. What happens when that loyalty comes into question? 5. Hitomi dj - Sakayume no Niwa Ran has a dream in which Byakuroku vanishes into thin air and only bones remain. Even knowing it was a dream, he can't just help being worried. Will the dream become reality...? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Naono Bohra Group(s) Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure, Nakama, Naono Holics Status: Completed Genres: Drama, Historical, Romance, School Life, Supernatural, Yaoi Categories: Love Triangle; Demons; Age-gap; First Love Main Characters: 1) Keito, Tomoya 2) Akito, Kunugi 3) Yazawa Shizuma, Hanai Souta 4+5) Ran, Byakuroku Recommendations: Daikirai na Aitsu!, Hard Core Heart, Happy Yarou Wedding, 35 Degrees Fahrenheit of Love Download Mawaru Sekai No Kimi To Boku Manga Here More manga series by Naono Bohra For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Bi no Isu Author: IKE Reibun Summary: Kabu and Nirasawa have a troubled relationship, to say the least. Harsh yakuza lifestyle, torture, and violent sex are everyday occurrences for the volatile couple. Related Series: Kobi no Kyoujin (Sequel) Genre: Adult Drama Yaoi Yakuza Year: 2008 Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Download link removed by scanlator's request Read Bi no Isu Online Bi no Isu More manga series by Ike Reibun

Summary: A love triangle between, the selfish Paul, who wanted to possess Patrick without admiting his love for him, the coward Patrick, unable to declare his love for Paul and the determined Thomas who wins Patrick's heart. Status: Complete Right this is my second try, I'm trying to make it longer. It's hard for me bec I'm very impatient, so be nice, hehe Critics are allowed, ideas on the plot too.. Hope you ejoy it. ch. I University was opening before me. I had worked so hard and I was going to be there… My college was such a huge building with so many aisles, departments, doors, people wandering round, young people like me feeling insecure, feeling that an enormous new world was opening form them. I was quite excited. I was the first member of my family going to University and even my little sister was telling her friends. So there I was, trying to stay calm, find my class and start my new life as University student. I left my old Patrick behind the doors of my high school with Paul still lingering on my mind. He stopped talking to me because of all the changes happening to me. We were childhood friends; we accepted each other the way we were. He was my best friend and I have loved him so much during the last five years. I had to endure all his girlfriends, his affairs. I was heartbroken but happy to fulfill one of my dreams and he ruined my little happiness calling me egoist because I wasn’t going to the Technical School with him. How I could? I just wanted to fall apart and start again. - Traitor!! He called me - What?! , come on Paul, what are you talking about? - Your mom… your mom told me you’ve received your admission letter yesterday! Are you going to the Uni???When were you telling me???!!!! Is that true? - It’s true- I tried to stay calm because I had lot of things to tell him before leaving. - But…. But we were supposed to go together to the Tech School; we were supposed to be always together. I tried to calm down myself before speaking to that handsome playboy who was yelling at me like a child. - Listen, I have to do this, I WANT to do this and you’d support me as my best friend. Please, Paul, be happy for me, I’ve been there for you always, the football team! I ran with you, I trained with you, I suffered with you, so Paul…. - No! I refuse! You selfish bastard, you’re leaving town without telling me! At that moment the only thing I wanted to do was to cuddle him in my arms, kiss his tears of rage away and tell I wasn’t going anywhere. I get closed to him and told him: - Come on Paul, you’re grown enough to cry. I’m sorry, call me what you want but I’m gonna do this... - Don’t come near me, bloody selfish, don’t touch me, and don’t talk to me ever! He ran away down the street shouting:”traitor, damn egoist, selfish, I hate you and you’ll regret it all your life…” I was left there and back home his words were resounding on my head again and again but I was sure I had to do it…..

Summary: The continuation of Kenta's and Ryuu's love stories as well as their friends adventures and misfortunes. Status: Complete Chapter 1 Games Kenta “No, I don't want that there.” I ran a hand through my hair trying my fucking best not to smack the shit out of the man. Why couldn't they follow the simplest directions? I'd decided that moving was not worth the hassle. No fucking way it was worth days of moving things around and unpacking. It didn't help that my wonderful, if somewhat spoiled, boyfriend had went out and bought all new furniture. I'd gotten along for years with nothing but a futon and some boxes of clothes. “Put it along the wall there.” I pointed to the spot and watched the men wrestle the dresser into place. It was nice looking, I had to admit that. I'd never in my life owned anything remotely this nice. Except my motorcycle. I took a moment to glance around what was going to be our bedroom. I felt my mouth lift in a smirk as I looked at the giant four poster bed. Gonna have some fun on that. Well, when the idiot doc said I could. Fuck it to hell. There was a loud thud and a string of cuss words from down the hall. Shaking my head I went to see what had happened. “You broke it!” “I so sorry, I didn't see it.” That was coming from what was going to be the band's practice room. Peering inside I saw the drummer Hasu, fists clenched at his sides as he faced one of the movers. I lunged forward just in time to grab Hasu before he attacked the poor guy. “Let go Kenta!” He flailed against me and I suddenly realized that I wasn't as strong as I'd been. So I let him go and grabbed his hair instead to keep him in place. He yelped, but the pain seemed to drain away some of his anger. I shook him slightly as he tried to turn and look at me. “What tha fuck are you doin', Hasu?” I growled and let him go. He rubbed his head and shrugged, not looking at me. “He stepped on my drum.” He gestured behind him and I glanced at the now ruined drum and the very sorry looking mover. “Ain't like he did it on purpose Hasu.” “I-I know . . . I'm sorry. I just . . .” he shook his head and I saw tears on his cheeks. “Fuck Hasu . . . don't do this. We'll get you another drum. Why don't you go find Sora, it's about lunch time and I'll get us some food, okay?” I took him gently by the arm and lead him out of the room. Hasu and I had been friends before everything, but now we were even closer. He'd been kidnapped, beaten and threatened with rape. I had to give the kid a break for being upset that his drums were fucked. “I know you are still dealing with stuff, but you can't take out your anger on other people, Hasu.” “Now you sound like Sora.” He pouted, but didn't pull away. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that, but . . .” “It's alright, you don't gotta explain.” I squeezed his arm lightly before letting go. I understood all too well exactly what he meant. “Maybe later this week you and I could spar a bit.” He glanced at me the dark eyes wide. “Y-you sure? Did the doctor clear you for that kind of stuff already.” I shook my head. “Nah, but we'll take it easy.” He nodded slowly before stopping and giving me a quick hug. I could tell he was careful not to hug me as tight as he used to. It made me kinda sad. Then again it had only been three weeks since my old cellmate had tried to kill me. Had it really been three weeks already? Sometimes, it felt like yesterday. Those were never good times. After settling things with the foreman about the cost of the drum I looked around wondering what to tackle next as I stood in the living room. I realized I was rubbing my wrist and looked down. The rope burns were gone as were the bruises. I still had stitches in sensitive spots, but the doctor said I was healing good. It could have been worse. I shuddered, then jumped slightly as strong warm arms wrapped around my middle and I was pulled back against a lean solid body. “You alright? You were doing it again.” Ryuu's voice breathed into my ear. I nodded, leaning back into him. “I'm fine. Hasu's upset.” “Yeah I heard the yelling, that's why I came upstairs.” Soft lips brushed my ear and he kissed my neck. “Ryuu.” “I know, I know but who cares if there are people here. I've missed you.” “It's been less than an hour Ito.” “So . . .” I sighed, unable to help the smile as I turned to face him. “You are such a fucking weirdo.” He tapped my nose as he grinned down at me and I felt a chill run through me. It still amazed me that he'd not only asked me back but to move in with him. “Ah, but I am your weirdo, Ken-chan.” “Don't call me chan.” I tried to glare at him but then he leaned down and kissed me. Not a quick peck but a slow gentle yet very seductive kiss. By the time we parted I was breathing hard and trying to figure out how to keep anyone from seeing my boner. “Fu-fuck Ryuu . . .” “Mmm yes please. Maybe once everything is put away we can make that new bed really ours.” He pulled me into a hug and I felt him laugh. “Shall we go in the bathroom and take care of your problem?” That was when I noticed the men staring at us. “Fuck off or I ain't gonna fucking pay your lazy asses!” Ryuu just chuckled and kissed my forehead which got him a glare. “You are so adorable when you get all bossy.” “You know how I feel about people wa-mmff-” I shoved him back, breaking the kiss. “Stop it already, we got stuff to do.” He laughed and gave me a peck on the cheek before heading into the kitchen. I shook my head and watched him look through boxes for a moment. I almost had to laugh at myself. It was hard to believe that after everything that had happened the past month things could be so normal. Normal was fucking good after what we'd been through. I turned hearing someone clear their throat behind me. The man looked like he'd just drank a gallon of soy sauce. I would too if I'd had to agree not to charge for my work because one of my guys fucked up. “We are finished putting the furniture and boxes in their rooms. Did you need anything else?” I shook my head. “Nah, I think we got it.” He stood there for a second like he was expecting something more then finally shrugged and went to gather up his crew. I headed into the bedroom to make sure they'd put everything where we wanted it. This room looked nothing like the other apartment, something Ryuu and I had both agreed on. After all the shit that had went down at his penthouse, not even his parents wanted to keep the place. Last I knew the landlord was gutting it to make a ballroom or something like that. Whatever, I didn't give a shit. It had been a nice place, but I liked this better already. Ryuu and I had spent a long time figuring out what we wanted. I'd never realized that there were so many types of furniture to choose from. More than once I'd told Ryuu just to pick something, but he'd said no, that this was for both of us and he wanted my input. The idiot really knew how to make me feel wanted. Deciding I had no idea what to do with all the boxes in the bedroom I headed back to the kitchen. “Oi! Get the fuck out.” I grinned at Ryuu as I pulled him away from the box he'd been rummaging through. “You ain't got a clue what any of that stuff is, so just leave it.” “Hey now! I've been learning you know! I had Hasu teaching me how to do stuff while you were in the hospital.” I laughed and got a grin in return. “Right and that's why the hotel offered us free room service as long as you promised not to ever try to cook in the room again.” “There was a kitchenette you know, you make it sound like I lit a fire in the room or something.” “Pretty much.” I smirked at him, then yelped and jumped back as he grabbed for me.

Summary: A group of short stories with different topics. Status: Complete I will post my stand alone fictions in here .Been doing some writing prompts with a couple groups so will post ones I have done . And maybe find some of my old ones . The first one I'm posting is for this writing prompt . I went over the word limit but I tried lol . Choose a person from the past and write a conversation you had with them in the present. For example, you find Benjamin Franklin roaming the aisles of your local grocery store and help him find the peanut butter. The rules dictate that it must be a real person from the past having a conversation with the real you in the present, but allow the conceit to inform the rest of the story. Keep it short, under 300 words. Today is a bad day nothing seems to be going well. I sigh as I sit on the park bench. A little girl approaches me and smiles. “Can I sit here? “ I shrug. Something about the girl’s appearance looks familiar. “Do I know you?” I ask. She looks into my eyes and smiles brightly “Of course you do.” I look at her closely short brown hair, blue eyes, about age seven. She reaches her hand out to touches my face. A tear falls from eye as I reach out and grab her hand. “Do you know me now? “ I nod. “How is this possible? “ I ask. She shrugs. “Is it hard being an adult?” “Of course it is hard.” I say. She looks at me disappointment filling her face. I pat her on the head “It’s not always bad.” She crosses her arms and a scowl crosses her lips. “I have made lots of good friends.” “Really? “ She asks. I nod. “I have even fallen in love. “ She blushes and giggles. “Why are you here? “ I ask. She looks down at the ground as she swings her legs back and forth. “The same reason you are here. “ I stare at her blankly. She sighs “I’m running away.” “You shouldn’t run away. “ She rolls her eyes “Right back at you.” “Let’s be strong then.” I say with a smile. She nods but still looks unsure. I wrap my arms around her small body and hug her tightly. Relief falls over me as her tiny arms wrap around me. “We can do it.” I promise her. “I know.” She says with a twinkle in her eyes. “My time is up now” She says as she stands up. “Can I see you again? “ I ask not wanting her to go. “Of course I’m always with you.” “That’s right. “ I say as we both break into giggles. As she starts to fade away I reach out for her “Goodbye Sally.” She smiles one last time “Goodbye Sally.” And with that my younger self disappears.

I made this a couple of hours ago and decided to show you guys. And yes,I know the shading, his chin and his shoulder are crappy XD he really is hard to draw :cuteonion53:

Okk.... since it's been a day that I posted this one... I give you a hint : It was translated by Bliss Scanlations -- Story with angels !

Being honest here.... *blush* I have a very dear friend to me, and yes he is gay... I've seen him go thru hell ih his relantionships, and being happy and in love(thank god he's like that right now). I met him at one of my works, and at the time he was in a relantionship with our manager, and yes i caught them....doing it!*BEET RED* Since then i can honestly say nothing shocks me anymore... But when i started reading manga, yaoi manga to that, i felt totally and completely at ease with it... It was not my first aproach, and it looked so sexy and hot as hell O__O... I've spoken about this to many many people, many of them said..."that's gay stuff right...weuh", i'm not ashamed and i'm not afraid, but i also have means to it, i understand why most of you can't... I'm a full grown up woman, i'm married, and i'm so completely crazy and wierd people just doesn't care anymore... About Yaoi, yes i love it... And yes i am a girl, so what?! I love yaoi, there isn't a day passes by that i don't read a manga, a new one or an old one... I love this so much, i get turned on, i get sentimental, i laugh and i cry(Destiny.Fate and goki's story is a good example of it), but makes me happy, so why shouldn't i just because i'm a girl... No way in hell, dears friends, this just comes with the package... You like it, you take it...If you don't, then i don't give a damn... Gender as nothing to do with it...tha't's what i think...what's hot will always be hot *sorry about the "will"*

@Jenova : Honestly, I never saw this post in my little visits on the site, Yesterday.... :F Maybe, I'm getting too old... Ahah ! Question : It's been 3 months that I have downloaded this novel ?! is it good ?! Yours : "Plastics" by Nara Chiharu.

Thank You misakixusagi . Here's my newest one . The Cookie. This week my friends and I did this writing prompt . This one was a real fun one to do . I came up with five different stories to do with it . If I get time maybe I will try to do another one of this one . Here it is . One day you come into work and find a cookie mysteriously placed on your desk. Grateful to whoever left this anonymous cookie, you eat it. The next morning you come in and find another cookie. This continues for months until one day a different object is left–and this time there’s a note. (500 words or less) . I went over 28 words :/ I'm bad with staying short. _____________________________________ I was having a horrible day being forced to do all of my coworkers errands. “Lazy good for nothings. “ I mutter under my breath. As I approach my desk I sigh as I see a huge stack of paper work. I was ready to just sneak out of there when I saw a beautiful cookie left on my desk. I look around to see if anyone is giggling. But everyone seems unaware of this cookie. I sniff it and nibble it cautiously. I shrug as I stuff the rest of the cookie in my mouth I mean what’s the worse that could happen it’s just a cookie. I smile maybe there are kind people in this place. To my surprise the next day I find another cookie. And the day after that, and so on. Always a new flavor, always a flavor I like. After a month I couldn’t start my day without my cookie. Several months pass the cookie is the staple to my day. I cannot even tell you how important that simple cookie meant to me. It had become like a drug to me with my cookie I could deal with anything. Everybody would ask my secret how I could be so happy. How could I be the same person they knew who once walked around work like a zombie and complained constantly? And like always I smile and walk away. On a dark dreary day a cloud of doom seems to envelop the office. The regional manager calls us in one by one and yells at every one of us. I become jittery as he talks to me biting my lip, biding my time. Just a little more I tell myself then your day will be ok because there will be a cookie waiting for you. He grows tired of me as I will not speak and sends me back. I walk as fast as I can on a verge of tears. I sigh a sigh of relief as I reach my desk. But to my dismay there is not a cookie. And that was it the tears come out as I search franticly looking under my desk, in my trash bin everywhere. No cookie. What have I done to not deserve my precious cookie? That cookie was my everything! Of all days why today? I sink into my chair giving up. As lay my head down its then that I see it a little black box and a note. Curious I open the note. To the one I admire, I have always been watching you. Loving you from afar. Did you enjoy my cookies? I enjoyed watching you eat them. I finally have the courage after several months to tell you my true feelings. Love, Peter. I open the box and see a beautiful engagement ring as I open it a handsome man goes on one knee beside me. “Will you marry me? “ “Yes.” I say with delight. ________________________________ Far off in space two gray beings watch their monitor as the scene unfolds. “Experiment 04567 complete.” The computer announces. The beings nod to each other. “Experiment 04568 commencing.” The computer chirps.

Chapter 09 [FINALE] It feels… Just like my diary… But [Daichi] he… Rui, he’s much more direct then I am. Si thought, after reading, and while the ice cream on the Tiramisu melts. “Let’s go!” Rui said as he asked for the bill. “To where?” Si gently keeping his gift back into the box as he said. “For the countdown!” Wow! It’s already 11:40pm! Time flies! With this, Si followed Rui to a corner just around the Christmas Tree, waiting for the arrival of Christmas. “We’ve known each other for 2 years…” Rui suddenly spoke. “I still remember how we met on XXX’s web forum. You and I really hit off very well and chatting with you is really enjoyable. My original workplace was nowhere near yours, but, I requested for a transfer in order to get close to you, to meet you. But I didn’t have the courage to. I didn’t have the courage to face you.” “Why?” Am I so scary?! "Because I’m a homo." Rui said frankly. "I'm afraid... I am afraid you would discriminate against me." "Is this how you look at me? That I would discriminate you?!” Si was angry. "I'm afraid you will be like most of the people, thinking that I’m heterogeneous..." "If you really think that I am someone like that, I’m sor~~~ry; I think we have nothing to say anymore." Si angrily stood up, ready to turn away. "No, wait a minute! In fact, I... I like you for long time! I just didn’t dare say it!" Rui confessed while holding on tightly to Si’s hand, causing him to momentary unable to react. Looking at Si’s silence, Rui came up with the conclusion. "It seems that things are really as I had expected..." "Why do you have your own conclusion when I did not even say a single word?” "What?! You mean... I... I have the chance!?!" Rui momentary excitement has led him to inadvertently loosen the clutching of Si’s hand. "I... I need to get home for sleep..." as Si spoke, he tried to escape from the venue. [30. . . 29. . . 28. . ] While the crowd counts down, Rui desperately tried to catch up with the escaping Si. CAUGHT! "Let me go, there’s a lot of people here!” "No way! Unless you tell me if you like me!" "Such a disgrace!” "I want my grace, but I want you too.” At the moment, they looked into each other’s eyes. [3. . . 2. . . 1. . . Merry Christmas! ] Man-made snow filled the air, and the fireworks too, were dazzling. "…” "What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear it!" "Nevermind it’s ok then!" "Again! Say it again!” Rui is trying to use his beautiful green puppy eyes on Si. "Nooo~~~!” "Si~~~” Although it wasn’t heard, but under the dazzling fireworks, he saw the shape of his lips… “I – Like – You – Too!” ==================================================

Chapter 08 To be Continued...

Chapter 07 To be Continued...

Chapter 06 [in the restaurant.] “Is this meal your treat?” [sora] looked doubtfully at [Daichi]. “Certainly! Haha...” If that’s the case, maybe I could consider forgiving him for deceiving me. “Excuse me waiter! Give us the best wine you have here, just choose it for us. Also a set of A meal, a set of C meal, a portion of steak, make it medium well done. A lobster baked rice. And lastly… An ice-cream on tiramisu. That would be all for now!” This guy… Haha… I bet he’s doing it on purpose! Deliberately trying to make me laugh huh! “Are you trying to empty my wallet?” “I don’t usually accept invitation from every one! You should be honored!” Looking at his attire – suit and tie – and the restaurant he made reservation in is pretty high class, he should be able to afford it, no? "Haha... Now, I think we should re-introduce ourselves again! I’m Zhan Zhen Hao • Rui, 25. I have a car and an apartment. I’m currently working as the Executive Director of Advertising and Planning in an advertising company. My blood type is AB +. Oh yes, I am a mix blood. " "Oh. I’m Yang Cheng Si.” "That’s all??!” "That’s all!” So annoying… When the meals are served, Si began to eat, almost desperately; there isn’t a lot of opportunity to eat like this! Meanwhile, Rui took the advantage, to observe Si, while he’s eating. Look all you want, thought Si; I’ll just eat to my fill! When all the dishes have been served except for dessert, Rui spoke. "Where’s my Christmas gift?" “Gift??” Oh God! Damn! I didn’t prepare any! “I knew you would forget, forget it! Here, take it.” Si took over the gifts. It has a silvery white ribbon tied to 4 bows on a bronze-colored gift box. "What is this?" I had never received such valuable gift. The external looks expensive, could the gift in it be more expensive?! Rui said nothing; he just smiled and signals him to open the gift box. With high anticipation, Si un-tie the ribbon, opened the box. A… A book?!? A black book? He raised his head, looked at Rui confusedly. Is this a 'Death Note'? “It’s your Christmas gift.” What! My Christmas gift is a book?! Miser!!! Flipping to the first page, it has, but only a few words. For: Yang Cheng Si Curiosity prompted Si to flip to the second page. . . The third page. . . and so on until a blank page appears in the book. . . To be Continued...

Chapter 05 Wednesday, December 23 [Online] [Daichi: Let’s meet at the atrium of TM shopping mall!] [sora: If I didn’t appear tomorrow… Will you kill me? o_o] [Daichi: What’s going on this time? .V.] [sora: Nothing. Just that I haven’t seen him for long.] [Daichi: Tell me, between him and me, who’s more important to you? >_ [sora: What are you talking about? ?_?] [Daichi: Is it not that case?! I’ve never seen you so interested in someone before! >o [sora: Who said that?! I’m pretty interested in you too! ^0^] [Daichi: Okay! So don’t be late tomorrow! (^0^)] [sora: Alright! (-_-#)] [Daichi: Oh yeah, to let us recognize each other, let’s bring along the XXX book! =^__^=] [sora: -_-^ That’s really old-school. Hey! You haven’t told me the time yet!] [Daichi: Oh right! Seven. Seven by the atrium!] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Christmas Eve. A 15 storey tall Christmas Tree was set up right in the middle of TM shopping mall. Gentle lightings have created a romantic atmosphere. Couples also made use of the chance to enjoy a lovely Christmas Eve. Man-made snow flakes filled the air, giving everyone the feeling of living in a foreign country. [sora], currently standing at the Atrium of TM Shopping Mall, in front of the Christmas tree, thinking about that guy while holding XXX’s book. *Sighs… I know I shouldn’t do this to [Daichi]. But still, I’ll let him know that I wish to leave early today. Looking at the book in his hand, it was the same as what ‘he’ was holding on to that day. [sora] bowed his head down in depress, thinking, it’s been 6 days…… Suddenly, a pair of black leather shoes appear in front of [sora]’s eye. Who could this be? Standing in front of someone so abruptly, [sora] thought. He wasn’t in a good mood, hence he start cursing in his heart. Next moment, the owner of the black leather shoes spoke. “You are [sora] right?” [Daichi]? [sora] slowly raised his head, from the black shoes, to the black pants, his eye then remained on the XXX’s book. It really is [Daichi]! “Not looking at me?” It can’t be that he’s shy, is he?! [Daichi] smiled toward [sora]. As though he had gathered all his determination, [sora] finally looked up. “You… You…” As expected! Just as what he has imagined, [sora] – tried – to turn and ran away the minutes he sees him. Since [Daichi] had expected this, he managed to reach out and grabbed him. “Let go of me!” Back facing [Daichi], [sora] spoke unfeelingly. “I’ll let you go if you listen to my explanations!” [Daichi] knows it, if he let’s go of [sora], he might never be able to see him again! “Explanations of what?! The fact that you played me around like a puppet?!” [sora] said agitatedly. “No I didn’t! Ever since the very first time we’ve met, I had always wanted to tell you that I’m [Daichi]!! But I was in a horrible state, remember, how could I admit it to you?! I was embarrassed because you were staring at me bluntly!” I admit... I had originally intended to play a joke on you… “Since… Since when did I?! With someone all drenched up seated beside you, which retarded person wouldn’t stare at him?” [sora] blushed unknowingly. “But you looked at me as though you were in love with me!” [sora] felt the instant gush in embarrassment in him and said, “Try saying it one more time, and I’ll kill you!” [Daichi] looked at [sora] and smiled. He said gently, “Nope, you wouldn’t.” [sora] stood in astonishment. Once again, he stared at him bluntly. His eyes are beautiful! “Look, I’ve charmed you once again didn’t I? Which is why I believe you wouldn’t kill me. Haha… Now this reminds me of the first time we met.” [Daichi] spoke, still smiling. Hmm? This scenario… seems so familiar… Wh…what was I doing?! Why was I staring at him unconsciously again?! [sora] snapped back to reality. Seems to know his thought by heart, [Daichi] was first to speak. "On the first day that we met on train, you were staring at me with those glances as well. Do you know what it means?" “What does it means?” [sora] ask innocently. “It means, your glance, is filled with admiration!” [Daichi] said proudly. Idiot… [sora] thought. “It’s getting late, I need to get home.” “Late? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of going to bed early.” “Oh… Let’s go for supper, I’m hungry!” “Supper? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of eating supper early.” [Daichi] smiled brightly as he grab on to [sora]’s hand, leading him towards TM Shopping Mall. He’s definitely the idiot of the idiots… [sora] thought, and – for a second – smiled. In order to not create a scene in front of the crowd, and feeling a little hungry at the same time, [sora] hence did not mind – just for a while - [Daichi] holding on to his hand. It’s only his facial expression that shows obvious reluctance. The crowd in front of TM Shopping Mall must be wondering, why the guy in front seems to be so full of joy, yet, the one behind seems to be rather discontented. To be Continued...

Was bored so tried this writing prompt . Use the words from your favorite song (or the song that is stuck in your head), mix them up and write a short short story using every word. Used Love the way you lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna . I didn't use all the words but I used a lot of the main ones . O how I love the way you lie . So shamelessly to my face. No matter how much you try to hide it the blood stains won’t wash away from your hands. Are you just going to stand there and watch me burn ? And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe. I can't breathe. You smile triumphantly. Do I amuse you ? But I will still fight while I can fight. Life is no Nintendo game. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts. As long as I can feel I know I am alive. I pull the knife away and push you down. It's like I'm in flight. High of a love. Drunk from the hate. I press the knife against your throat. You stare at me in amusement a hearty laugh escapes your lips. “You're the same as me.” you say . I feel so ashamed. The knife slips from my fingers. I love the way you lie. It's like I'm huffin' paint. It's so insane. I'll never stoop so low again I promise myself. “I'm leaving you.” I say firmly and turn to go . “No you ain't.” ”Come back.” You demand. You jump to your feet fire in your eyes. You push me back . Are you just going to stand there and hear me cry ? I snap . I will no longer be your victim. “That was yesterday, yesterday is over.” “It's a different day.” I say firmly. I pull out a gun and aim it at you heart. “I know I'm a liar.” You say walking slowing towards me . “Look me in the eyeball .” “ Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall.” “Next time..” “There will be no next time.” I shout back . “Now I know we said things and did things that we didn't mean.” You apologize. It's the rage that took over as I shot the pistol. I shake as you stare back in shock. You ever love somebody so much that you can barely breathe? You swore you've never hit 'em. Never do nothing to hurt 'em. But now here you lay my love a bullet in your chest . I turn to to go tears filling my eyes . “Baby please come back it wasn't you.” “Baby it was me.” You cry out . My whole being tells me to leave you there. All I know is I love you too much. To just walk away . I guess I don't know my own strength as I lay beside you. “I love you . “ you tell me . O how I love the way you lie . I dial 911 and put the phone against your ear . I stand and smirk. “Now you watch as I walk away.” Your eyes trail out to the window. “Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems. " “Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” You say as you watch me go . “Come inside.” You cry. “No more . “ I whisper as I turn the key in the ignition . Even at the end you lie to me . How fitting, I love the way you lie .

Ryuu I was so comfortable at the moment. Our new couch was beautiful and not white thank goodness. I’d had enough of white furniture. No this was a very nice pale blue with cream and gold and was even more comfortable than it looked. When I’d walked through the living room and seen Kenta lounging on the coach, the temptation to join him had been irresistible. He was currently nestled between my legs, his head on my chest while I played with his hair. We were both watching Sora and Hasu try to hook up the new entertainment system. It was amusing watching them especially since Hasu seemed to be in a much better mood and was tormenting Sora at every turn. Probably not intentionally though. “Okay, this line goes to the sub woofer.” “Got it. Okay, that’s the last one right? Can we play games now?” Sora chuckled and patted Hasu on the head his affection for the younger drummer practically glowing in his eyes. “Yeah sure, what were you wanting to play?” “I don’t know . . .” Hasu looked around the room at the stacks of yet to be unpacked boxes. “Where are the games?” I frowned. “I’m really not sure which box they are in Hasu.” Hasu frowned and headed for the closest box. Before I had time to say anything he’d opened it and was busy unpacking it. “Ah . . . Hasu, you don’t have to do that there are too many boxes to worry about tonight.” Sora shook his head at me eyes narrowed. Okay . . . “B-but I guess we could get started at least.” I went to sit up and there was a disgruntled noise from Kenta. I looked down to see him blinking sleepily at me. “Stay’ere.” And with that I ended up laying on the couch snuggling my boyfriend while my two best friends unpacked for us. Sora found the alcohol somewhere along the way and got us each a drink. By then Kenta was fast asleep one hand lightly clutching my shirt. “I found them!” Hasu crowed holding up several game cases. “Shhh! Kenta is asleep.” “Oh . . . sorry.” He grinned sheepishly at me. “So can we still play?” “I don’t know Hasu, it’s getting pretty late now, it’s after ten and you’ve got school tomorrow.” Hasu made a face. “It’s not that big a deal. I usually stay up late playing games at home anyway. It’s not like my graduating at the top of the class is going to matter anyway.” Sora and I looked at each other. He spoke up first. “Hasu, school is the most important thing right now. You are way too smart not to graduate at the top of your class. Hell, you’re even a grade ahead of other kids your age!” I nodded. “Sora and I both graduated at the top of our classes. There is no reason you can’t.” Hasu set the games back in the box and got to his feet. “I appreciate the concern guys, but it’s not something I’m that worried about.” “You should be. Ryuu and I have talked about helping you pay for university, you won’t get into a good one if your grades slip.” Hasu looked over at Sora, the dark eyes puzzled. “Why would you guys do that? It’s not your responsibility.” “Maybe not, but you can’t pay for it by yourself and I’m sure there is something you’ll want to study further.” I smiled at him, wishing there was some way to erase the worry now etched on the cute face. “Believe me, it would be for the best. It’s very difficult to get along in society now without a degree of some kind.” Hasu shook his head and I frowned recognizing the stubborn set to his jaw. “So. It’s my decision ultimately. Like I said I appreciate the input but it’s really none of your concern.” “Hasu, we just want what is best for you, we are your friends.” He shrugged and headed passed me toward the kitchen. “Thanks, but I’ll do what I want.” I sighed and looked at Sora. The deep green eyes looked pained. I shook my head looking down at Kenta. Hasu was still too young to understand that the decisions he made now would affect the rest of his life. Looking at the dark head pillowed against my chest I wondered if it would help to have Kenta talk some sense into Hasu. He knew firsthand how bad things could be if wrong choices were made. I’d have to ask him if he’d feel comfortable talking with Hasu about school and explaining to him why it was so important. Since everything that had happened the two of them had spent a lot of time together. Hasu looked after Kenta like a worried younger brother. Kenta put up with him a lot better than I’d thought he would at first. Though Kenta had mellowed out a lot in the past few weeks. Nearly dying might do that to a person. An unwelcome chill ran through me and I rubbed a hand over my eyes. “Hey, why don’t you go to bed. You look beat.” Sora’s gentle voice reached me, pulling me back from the memories. Opening my eyes I had to blink a couple of times. “Yeah that would be good . . . uh, do you mind?” I gestured to my sleeping boyfriend who was effectively pinning me to the couch. I didn’t want to wake Kenta, god knew he needed his sleep. He’d been doing entirely too much and I was worried that it was hindering his healing. Sora was already on his feet and it only took a little maneuvering for him to gather Kenta into his arms. It always made Kenta look so petite and vulnerable in my eyes. Something I was still getting used to after years of only seeing the tough yakuza façade he always projected. I wouldn’t go back for anything though I wished he hadn’t had to suffer so much this past month. He was taking everything so much better than I could have. Then again he was just a stronger person. He had to be with everything he’d dealt with growing up. Following Sora toward the bedroom I looking into the kitchen to see Hasu sitting on the counter with a jar of mayo resting on his lap a distant look in his eyes. Reaching out I grabbed Sora and motioned for him to be quiet, nodding my head in the direction of the youngest. His heavy sigh made me sad. Sora loved Hasu and I understood how much it hurt to see the one you loved looking so lost and alone. I knew Hasu had suffered a horrible trauma but something else seemed to be bothering him. Something that none of the rest of us knew about or realized. Once Sora laid Kenta on the bed I thanked him and crawled up in it myself. Our first night together in our brand new apartment and we weren’t even going to have celebratory sex. It would just have to wait I guess. There were more important things than sex. Less fun . . . but more important.

I turned around and ran smack into a very solid chest. I stepped back, rubbing my nose and looked up. “Oi, Sora, don't fucking sneak up on me like that!” He raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head. “You guys are supposed to be playing around. Ryuu, you are supposed to be taking care of him.” I could hear the pout in Ryuu's voice. “I wasn't going to let him get hurt.” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave Sora my most intimi-imit . . . my hardest glare. He grinned. “You know . . . when you try to look tough like that you end up looking rather seductive.” I blinked, my arms dropping to my sides. Ryuu was giggling behind me. “He does doesn't he!” Sora laughed and reaching down grabbed me and picked me up. “Let me down you fucking shit head!” “Nope, it's time for you to go rest. You've been on your feet all day and you are wore out.” “I am not!!! I'm just fine!” “Sure you are, you can't even get down can you?” “Damn you, you fucking bastard.” Why did the giant red head have to be right? It was just fucking awkward getting carried around like a cripple. Though now that he'd pointed it out, I was exhausted and starting to ache. “Just put me down, I can walk you know. Besides, this isn't very comfortable.” He grinned at me, the bright green eyes glittering. “Sure, go rest alright. Oh and where is Hasu? I can't seem to find him.” I tugged my shirt down as Sora set me back on my feet. I sank down on the couch letting out a sigh as overworked muscles were finally allowed to relax. A few months ago and Sora would never even have thought about doing something like that. Just showed how much things had changed, I guess. “He's upset. One of his drums got ruined.” “Oh shit.” Sora swore softly. “I better go find him. That set is his most prized possession.” “Yeah he almost attacked the guy when he stepped on it.” So here is the first part of Chapter 1. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Sorry, I think the chapter became very long and very bad. It was a bit hard bec some personal memories are mixed. Anyway, you’ll see that there are some links to youtube vids, they are the songs I’ve been listening to while trying to write this. As always, critics are well received. By the way, I’ll be out for a couple of weeks, I’ll be working, working, working & studying, studying, studying, leaf4 I’m gonna miss you all. See you back on sept the 9th. Kisses and hugs for all of you. :banhbao43: "I was only able to cry. I cried for being so selfish, egoist; I was having sex with a handsome man, clever, who liked me and thinking and desiring another man who may despise me for being so despicable. I could have found a little happiness with him, I should have tried harder, forgetting Paul and keeping on living without him. I was a stupid brat who didn’t know anything, a stubborn idiot in love with a man who would never love me. Thomas had left a while ago and I was still lying there, buried in tears and shame. I wasn’t able to move. I couldn’t forget Thomas’ face, tears of anger running down, holding the hand he slapped me with, all his hair messed. His hair has grown longer since I met him and shinny blond streaks have appeared during this time , making him even more handsome. Put ting his tight jeans on while staring at me, his eyes blood shot of anger, hate. I’ve damaged his pride as a man and as a lover. - You can’t be like this, Patrick, those one-sided feelings will kill you. You’ll start to fell sadder gradually, you’ll leave all the people who likes you behind and will become a loner. He won’t love you, he won’t see you as a lover, as a companion. But I…. ( he hesitated and kept silent for a moment) I can. He patted my sticky hair wet from sweating, trying to wipe my tears, his breath had reached a normal rhythm, as he had calmed himself and I started crying and babblering: - I know, I know but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I’ve tried ! I can’t stop loving him. I’ve loved him for five years. He has been the only thing in my life that I’ve treasured enough to sacrifice other important things. - Don’t do this to you, Patrick. Give yourself a chance and when you change your mind look for me. ( ) He kissed me on the cheek and left me there, half naked, alone, feeling miserable. I waited till down to come back to my room. During the following weeks, I didn’t see Thomas at University. I went to his classroom but his friends didn’t know anything about him. I asked also his teachers and they told me he had asked for several days off to work on a research. I understood he didn’t want to heard anything about me. I had to apologize, I knew that but I was afraid of facing him. How would he react? How would he feel? How would I feel? I had to do it before Christmas break. Paul’s birthday came and I text him wishing him a happy day. He texted me back “ That’s all? No phone call, no chatting, what’s with you?” “Nothing, busy” “Not coming home? Let’s party” “No, busy” “C’mon, I miss you” “No, don’t be cruel!” “What?” “What?” He texted again but I didn’t answer, instead I turned off my phone and went to bed. ( ) Next day I had 13 missing calls from Paul, but I ignored them. I’ll face him when I were at home. My head was full of Thomas right now. I was leaving in two days . I went to the admission office and asked for his address. I had written him a Christmas card and bought him Christine Guth’s Art of Edo Japan, we’ve seen in a bookshop. When I arrived to the address I had been given, I hesitated. It was a big house, a mansion to me. The front yard was full of trees and bushes decorated with tiny white lights and a big garland wishing everybody a Happy Christmas. I knocked the door, it seemed as if anyone was at home. Suddenly a handsome young boy opened the door. - Hello? He said with big open eyes - Ummm. Hi, I’m looking for Thomas Cowan- Stuart - My bro? He’s not at home. He went to France to visit granny for Christmas. He’s coming next week. - Well, could you give him this for me, please? I’m Patrick ( blushing) - What? Are you Patrick? My bro talked about you a lot. Come in and have a tea with me. Doris made brownies… - Umm, I don’t know, I think it’s not right. Your brother and I aren’t in good terms, right now. - Oh, don’t worry, I know that’s why I’m inviting you. I’m Peter, he said with a big dazzling smile, as dazzling as Thomas' I felt curious, I wanted to know what Thomas had been telling to his brother. We had a nice chat. He was very kind and polite. He told me that Thomas didn’t speak too much about his friends at University but that I was well-known at home. His parent were wishing to know me. I couldn’t avoid blushing - Don’t worry, we know Thomas like guys. He’s a very sensible and hard- worker man. My parents understand his likings and feelings. Do you love my bro? - My parents understand his likings and feelings. Do you love my bro? - You’re a bit straight-forward for me, I said, the blood on my face boiling. I wish I could say yes, but I already have someone I love and your brother doesn’t love me. - Are you sure? I shivered. What was he talking about. We only had sex, no feelings related. He knew my feelings for Paul. It was just sex, just sext. I started to repeat it to myself. I was feeling unconfortable and wanted to go. - It’s getting late and I’m going home tomorrow. It has been very nice to meet you. Please, be sure to give Thomas my present. - Ok. I’ll tell him. Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas I left his home, feeling oddly happy . I arrived at my room and found a letter and a parcel. The letter was from Paul and the package from Thomas. Thomas’ package were some souvenirs from Nimes where his grandma lived: a small scale building called La Maison Carrée, a photo book with landscapes and touristic sites and a postcard saying: “ Happy Christmas, dear Patrick. I hope all your wishes come true. I bought all this rubbish thinking that you’d like it. Just throw them away! Be happy. Tom” I couldn’t avoid smiling and feeling happy because he had sent me a Christmas present. I put it aside and faced Paul’s letter. It was weird because he never wrote a letter to anyone. I wrote them to his girlfriends for him. “ Hey idiot! How are you doing? It’s not this a bit of a nice starting? I’m so mad with you! What’s with you? You miss my birthday, don’t call me back. Are you enjoying that much with that sissy? Ok, Ok, sorry. I miss my friend, I miss you Pat. Come back home soon. Let’s go drinking and talk about us. We need to talk. Call me when you’re at home. Yours…. Paul” I smiled bitterly. His letter was killing me. What was the meaning of his words? I was so afraid to face him… "

Original name: Geshuku Biyori Manga ALT. names: 下宿日和, Wisteria Manor (French) Original run: 2008 Description: Kindly move out within 6 months." Masachika Fujimaki, the new apartment manager, makes this sudden declaration to the tenants of Wisteria Manor. Having lived there for so long without incident, “shock” doesn't begin to describe how the tenants feel. To top it all off, the cool and always aloof Masachika turns out to be (of all things) gay. Though he’d always thought himself to be straight, tenant Kei Kuraya finds himself attracted to Masachika. Discover the heart-warming story of men from all walks of life living happily together. Manga-type: Manga Written by: Mamahara Ellie Drawn by: Mamahara Ellie Published by: Tokuma Shoten Group(s) Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Comedy, Drama Categories: Megane; Boys look like Girls; Drama Main Characters: Masachika Fujimaki, Kei Kuraya Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Oasis Keikaku!, Rakka Koibumi, Kare no Barairo no Jinsei, Sugar Code Read Geshuku Biyori Online Geshuku Biyori •°Update°• Complete volume link thanks to JenovaVII Download Geshuku Biyori Manga More manga series by Mamahara Ellie For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Netsujou Innocence Manga ALT. names: Netsujou Innocence, Passionate Innocence Original run: 2004 Description: Up and coming designer, Rio Nanase, has lived with the guilt of letting a friend fall off a balcony when he was young. Then one day, he meets the young owner of a penthouse that he designed! Keiichiro Nagato is his name and he brings Rio to an observatory against his will. There the acrophobic Rio begins to tell the truth about what happened 17 years ago, a truth no else has heard before Written by: Duo Brand Published by: Kousai Shobou Group(s) Scanlating: Forever More, Nakama Status: Completed Completely Scanlated: Yes Genres: Drama, Romance, Yaoi Categories: Incest; Co-workers Main Characters: Rio Nanase, Keiichiro Nagato Recommendations: Jack in the Box Read Netsujou Innocence Online Netsujou Innocence Download Netsujou Innocence Manga Here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Yumemiru Otokonoko Manga ALT. names: 夢見るオトコノコ / The Boys of Dreaming / Yume Miru Otokonoko Original run: 2008 Description: 1-2) The Boys of Dreaming Yasaka Takanori is secretly in love with his classmate, Akikawa Seiji, for five years already and yet he dare not confess to him. His roommate, Tomori Mioki, in turn likes Takanori. Takanori is in shocked after seeing Akikawa messing around with the chemistry sensei. At the same time, Mioki confesses to him. What should he do now? Will he accept Mioki or confess to Akikawa? 3) A Holy Knight Gets Off Beautiful school director Shiraizumi Touka is someone to be admired and treasured from afar, at least that's what student Tokura has always thought. Then suddenly sleazy Sasamori-sensei who always plays around announces his intentions toward the director. Can Tokura stand back and watch his beloved idol be taken by another, or snatch happiness for himself? 4) The Servant of the Starry Skies Scholarship student Hanamura Ousuke has always worked harder than everyone else to be the best; so why does school president's son Tatemiya Soushi beat him so easily? Now Hanamura has to cater to Soushi's every whim, and he's furious! Until he discovers Soushi has a tantalizing weakness, but how should he use it against the young master? 5) The Sudden Lover When Orihara wakes up naked in bed next to Miyagi, and no memory of the night before, he suspects the worst. And he's right! He's had a crush on Miyagi since school started, so now that they're lovers he should be happy, right? But dating someone who doesn't even kiss you is a bit strange... 6) The Boys of Dreaming extra Manga-type: Manga Written by: Chitose Piyoko Drawn by: Chitose Piyoko Published by: Kaiousha Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinante Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Smut, Yaoi Categories: Comedy, School Life, Megane, Teacher-Student, Unrequited Love Main Characters: Yasaka Takanori, Akikawa Seiji Adaptation based on available: N/A Recommendations: Kawaii Darling, Nikumi Kirenai Rokudenashi Read Yumemiru Otokonoko online Yumemiru Otokonoko Download link: EDIT: Link removed due to scanlator's request.

Summary: Have you ever though of having just some pure relationships with the ones you love. Diaries are what accompany us through our ups and downs but do not forget, it could reveals secrets, the good and the bad ones. 2 young adults, 2 diaries, through their journey searching for the love they wish for. If we put them together, everything comes clear. Status: Complete Hi, This is my first story in english so please pardon me on the grammars, tenses, and all other that matter. For those of you who don't know me yet, i'm from Taiwan, a chinese speaking country. So i spend a great time translating my chinese story to english, with the help of Goki, another user here. So give me a chance will ya! Thanks! Synopsis:

Title: Kanjou Spectrum Mangaka: Yoneda Kou Plot: Kugou's best friend Nakaya is cheerful, lively, and just a bit hopeless, exactly the type who is popular with both boys and girls. So it comes as no surprise to Kugou when one day he catches Usui, a quiet, yet serious classmate staring at them as they pass by... Groups Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure Genre: Drama School Life Shounen Ai Year:2008 Oneshot (Complete) Read Kanjou Spectrum Online: Kanjou Spectrum Download Kanjou Spectrum Manga: New Download Link For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Isshou Tsuzukerarenai Shigoto Manga ALT. names: 一生続けられない仕事, 无法持续一生的工作, Work Can Not Continue Forever, Work Can't Continue Forever Written by: Yamada Yugi Drawn by: Yamada Yugi Original run: 2007 Description: Hayasaka Yoshihito was so impressed by lawyer Mikami Haruhiko that he decides to work with him at his small law firm. But it's not quite what Hayasaka's expecting. With the sexually harrassing lawyer Katayama Masaki who doesn't seem to do anything, scary secretary Shingyouji Miho, and Mikami himself who isn't quite the way Hayasaka remembers, things are about to get interesting for an idealistic young lawyer! Manga-type: Manga Published by: Libre Shuppan, Takeshobo Group(s) Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure Status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing) Completely Scanlated: No Completely Translated: No Genres: Comedy, Drama, Shounen Ai Categories: Megane, Age-gap, Co-workers Main Characters: Hayasaka Yoshihito, Mikami Haruhiko, Katayama Masaki, Shingyouji Miho Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: S.E.X & Love, Kimi ga Kono Te o Hanareru nara Read Isshou Tsuzukerarenai Shigoto Online Isshou Tsuzukerarenai Shigoto Download Isshou Tsuzukerarenai Shigoto Manga Chapters 1-2 Chapters 3-5 Chapters 6-9 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

im not really surprised at women reading yaoi, since it's directed at them, or gays reading it since well it's hot and it's boy on boy action, it's only natural :\ but what did surprise me, few gay people i know online told me that they prefer yuri.. yes, gay men told me they prefer yuri, girl on girl, and even told me how the story and all is better than yaoi.. so what do you guys think about it? i haven't read yuri yet and i don't plan to in recent future, not cause im disgusted (am not), just that it doesn't interest me in the slightest, girls are boring, hehe (im a girl btw )

Working like a slave.......and no paychek so far?! I feel like quiting, beat the hell out of ya and sream out loud that you're a bunch of losers............ Ya gotta be shitting me right?! >(

@ Pelka I see, well if you are interested in BL novels, and when you have the time, those three titles are the ones I totally recommend. Great stories. (: Senaka Kara Daite by Takenaka Sei. --

I was just going to ask you for a hint, Pelka. (: I haven't read this one yet so I really had no idea where to start. Now answering your question about the novel - S - it's incredibly good. Awesome, really. It's in my Top 3 BL novels together with Mirage Of Blaze and Ai No Kusabi. The manga is Tenshi No Tame No Shohousen by Mizuki Kana. --

The sketch is so funny Thanks guys...i was nneding a good laugh :*

I hope Ueda_Angle and Amander123 both of them like what I done with this... Somehow I feel Skip Beat of this scene will perfact for this poem... Any way enjoy! ^^

Chapter II - Vitium (Mistake) I woke up with the first rays of light on my eyes. There was this huge window in the attic with no curtains who served as the source. I lazily opened my eyes, trying to focus on my surroundings. What I didn’t expect was to see someone else in the bed. Startled, I jumped out of the bed, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. In my bed lay the boy from the day before, sleeping so peacefully it made my heart ache. The first rays of light on his white hair made him look heavenly, like an angel. Trying my best not to wake him, I carefully got into bed again. I lay awake, watching him sleep, watching the slow rising and falling of his chest. “Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”, came the soft reply as one grey eye opened. I held my breath, for fear of saying anything stupid. Laurel chuckled, his hand catching mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you”, he said, looking into my eyes, “you see, I’ve always been alone… from the moment I knew you were coming, I felt so happy… not as happy as when I got to see you.” Laurel looked so sad. I wanted to have him in my arms; I felt the urge to do everything I could to make him smile. Weird thoughts crossed my mind then. “I’ve always been on my own too, I guess we might have a lot in common”, I reassured, running my fingers through his white mess of hair, “But… I barely know you.” Laurel smiled knowingly. “We have all the time in the world to get to know each other.”, he said, with a mischievous look. I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t properly checked my phone. Pam would be very angry at me for ignoring her. “Hum, Laurel… I have to do something. You can wait there if you want…”, I said, moving out of bed and reaching for my phone. I could feel his eyes on me. I read the two messages waiting on my phone, trying my hardest not to be bothered by the intense gaze on my back. “I have a question… actually, I have many but I highly doubt you’ll answer most of them…”, I started, not turning to face him. “You’ll never know until you ask me.”, came the playful reply. I let out a deep sigh. “Laurel… who exactly are you? Why did I come here? What do you know about me? I haven’t even seen your parents! I’m so confused… I have school you know?”, I blurted all out in one breath. “June… I already told you who I am, silly boy. Why did you come here? Well, that should be easy enough. Your mother was taken away and you were put under the wing of a new family. As for what I know about you, I know what your file said, nothing more. My parents… they’re often away on business. They’ll be back for dinner today, don’t worry. Concerning school, it was decided you will attend your old school, but I’m also coming with you.”, he explained, his voice soft. “You will? But your hair… it…”, I started, knowing very well he didn’t answer me the way I wanted. “What’s wrong with my hair? Because it has no color? Should I dye it?”, he asked, grinning. “I… no, you shouldn’t… it… it looks nice… like that…”, I whispered, hoping he didn’t hear it. “It’s quite long, I seriously think I’m starting to look like a girl… but if you like it, I’ll leave it as it is.”, I could hear Laurel saying, chuckling. I was looking at his long white hair then. It was so smooth. I wanted to touch it as before, to run my fingers through the silky mess. Laurel must have noticed me, his expression became gleeful. “Do you like my hair that much? Would you like to feel it again?”, came the odd question. I swallowed in dry. How could such a pure looking person say such wicked things? It’s not as if I didn’t want to… feel it. “A friend of mine is worried about me. I’d like to be able to meet up with her, if that wouldn’t be too bothersome.”, I roughly changed the subject. Laurel’s eyes narrowed a bit. He seemed to ponder the idea carefully. “I’ll see to it. Let’s go eat breakfast in the meanwhile. I’m sure Miss Crawley has prepared us quite a banquet. She’ll be in the garden, if you’re wondering.”, he said, not meeting my eyes. I nodded, not quite sure why my stomach was churning at seeing the sudden change in Laurel’s behavior.

I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid of getting injections or having my blood drawn. I'm not afraid of the sight of my blood or others. I'm not afraid of cockroaches or spiders. I'm not afraid of water. I laugh out loud and clap my hands when I watch horror movies. I am no longer afraid to love someone and show them how I feel.

I'm not scared of mice, rats, cockroaches and I'm not scared of dark.

Part II of chapter 19 of S-CONSCIOUS is up! http://nezumidoll.livejournal.com/10876.html

It was weekend, a bright Sunday even. Shingyouji could hear the birds chirping outside and even though he was in a fit to scream, it managed to calm him down. Misu had said he’d spend the weekend with his lover, they had planned to go to the nearby library and rent something, they had planned oh having some time together and yet his lover had gone with his dear Sagara-senpai to a museum, just because the man was back from some long trip, like a good kouhai, like a girl with a crush. He felt like biting the man’s head off. He knew Sagara-san had found himself a cute girl and that they were getting married sometime soon, but it was still getting on his nerves. The phone rang. Shingyouji reluctantly got up and lazily picked up the phone. “Moshi moshi? Oh, Ren-chan, what is it? What?! I’ll be there as soon as possible!” Shingyouji hurriedly dressed, picked the keys, locked the apartment and ran. He ran as fast as his feet could take him. He texted his lover that he’d be home late. He hurried to the hospital. “Ren-chan, are you alright? How’s Kazuki-sensei?” Shingyouji asked as soon as he saw the boy. “Shingyouji-kun… he’s not breathing… his heart wasn’t beating… he’s going to die… Shingyouji, he’s going to die…” was all Ren could manage between sobs. He held onto the boy tightly, trying to reassure him everything would turn out for the best. It was a long time before a medic finally came. His face wasn’t the one of a good news bearer. “Iwate-san, your friend… we did all we could, I’m terribly sorry but he did not survive… he was too weak… there was nothing we could do…” was the medic’s news. Ren went completely static before breaking into a rage of tears, utterly broken. Shingyouji felt like crying too but he knew that if he did, it would only get his friend crying more. He had to be strong because he knew Ren wasn’t. He patted the other’s head gently, massaged him reassuringly and whispered softly so to calm the boy, but nothing seemed to move him from his broken state. Ren had told him it had been a car accident. It had been raining and the car suddenly went out of control. Ren only knew about it because it was the first number on the victim’s phone list. It dawned on Shingyouji this could happen to Misu and that thought alone left him petrified with fear. As soon as he got Ren home, safe and sound and also a bit calmer, Shingyouji stormed home. He saw that his lover was already inside and launched himself into his arms, crying wholeheartedly. “What’s wrong Shingyouji?” Misu asked, his voice held true concern. Shingyouji slowly explained the whole day’s events. “Silly, that won’t happen to me, I’m an excellent driver” he tried to reassure, but noticed it wasn’t helping at all, “Shingyouji, there’s nothing we can do about it, it can happen but I’ll be extra careful, will that stop you from worrying?” “No, but it helps” Shingyouji whispered. Misu kissed his puppy’s forehead gently. “You’ll see nothing will happen. So, want to watch that movie you were fussing about so much?” “Hai!”

During chemistry class, Ren was seated next to Shingyouji. Ren seemed to take a liking to the sensei and was always staring with a forlorn expression. There was nothing of special to the sensei in question. He was small, smaller than him and Ren, his face was such a baby face, making you mistake him for a teen sometimes. His hair was short, light brown curls adorning his head. The only thing that would really get your attention was the eyes, a soft light shade of blue, so deep and clear that it was awkward to stare into them very long. Still, Shingyouji could notice Ren was head over heels in love with the older man. He would be very shy whenever the sensei would talk to him and you could actually see him melting when said sensei smiled. It reminded Shingyouji of his own love for Misu a bit. Contrary to his love, Ren’s was very unlikely to turn out successful. “Ren-chan, I know you like Kazuki-sensei” Shingyouji revealed, his expression serious. Ren’s attention immediately turned from the sensei to his friend, his eyes wide with shock. “Was I that obvious?” Ren asked, his look a sad one. “Kind of, don’t worry I’m a very obvious person too. It’s just that your marks have been turning out so bad and you seem so depressed lately, I thought it was a good thing to tell you this: either confess once and for all or forget him” Ren bit his lip. Confessing? To a teacher? To THAT teacher? He couldn’t do it… but forgetting wasn’t an easy way out either. “I… can’t… I’ve tried… but the words don’t come out” “You have to do something about it or you’ll fail your exams” Shingyouji warned, feeling sorry for his friend. “Ren and Shingyouji, keep quiet now” came the scolding voice. “Hai, Kazuki-sensei” both answered in a chorus. Shingyouji knew better than anyone how it felt to be insecure, to feel like the other person will never acknowledge your feelings, and he was sorry for his friend. He would ask his lover later on what he could do to help. That was a good idea, since Misu was more mature than himself. As soon as classes ended, the boy rushed home. “Arata-san! I need your help! Arata…san?” Shingyouji started, but as soon as he saw his lover’s naked torso as he lay on the couch, watching the news, he couldn’t help but stare. “Yes, Shingyouji, what is that you need?” Misu asked, a smile gracing his lips as he saw his puppy’s eyes watching him, wanting him. “I…” Shingyouji swallowed hard, “I… there was something I needed to ask… but I think I forgot it…” Misu chuckled. He got up and leaned on the boy, enough so that Shingyouji was feeling his hot breath against his neck, allowing goose bumps to form. “Arata-san… what are you thinking?” “Shingyouji… you simply don’t want to know what’s going on my mind right now… it’s so… impure… so… perverted…” Misu breathed huskily, emphasizing each word deliberately, making a shiver run down his puppy’s spine. Shingyouji’s heartbeat quickened, his breathing accelerated, his head was spinning, he couldn’t think straight with his lover so near and saying those naughty things. Misu carefully led them to the bedroom, pulling the boy down on the pool of sheets beneath. He attacked the boy’s lips, his tongue exploring the others mouth anew, like it was the first time. He quickly changed to the neck, nibbling hard enough to leave marks, marking him as his possession. Shingyouji couldn’t help but moan and gasp in pleasure. It wasn’t painful at all, it was very arousing indeed. He knew he was already hard from the moment he saw his lover on the couch. Misu paused just a bit, just to look at his puppy’s flushed face, before tearing the other’s shirt open. He earnestly circled the nipple with his tongue, feeling it harden immediately. He continued his ministrations, nibbling, sucking, licking, teasing. He switched to the other one, going through the same process. Shingyouji was feeling close, so very close, but he didn’t want it to happen now, not until he felt his lover inside. But Misu was driving him crazy with the whole slow teasing process. Misu could feel his puppy wasn’t very far from coming so he took the opportunity to pull away and undress him. He took in the sight of a flushed, stark naked Shingyouji with lust filled eyes. It was enough to leave him breathless. He took Shingyouji fully, eliciting the most amazing sounds from the boy. “Ah… Arata-san… please…” Shingyouji started. Misu didn’t stop what he was doing. “Please… just… take me… I need… Ah!” He pulled shortly away. “Shingyouji, come for me” Misu said, before taking him again. Just the sight of his lover’s face as he said that was enough to take his breath away and soon enough he could feel it. Misu swallowed the salty tasting fluids, moving to caress the red cheeks of his puppy, who was still recovering from the intense waves of pleasure. “Okay, now let’s go eat dinner” Misu said. “Eh? But… you haven’t… you’re not even undressed! You still haven’t…” Shingyouji started but his lover put a finger to his lips. “I’m satisfied. So, what was it that you wanted to ask me?” “Oh, it’s about a friend of mine. He’s in love with our chemistry sensei and you see… I was thinking if there was anything I could do to help him, you’d be the one to know” Shingyouji explained, playing with Misu’s hair. “That’s a hard one… I don’t think he has any chances with that… and Shingyouji, no matter how much you want to help, I don’t think you should” He explained carefully. “But why? He deserves a chance to be happy, he’s a very sensitive guy, he almost looks like a girl, and I can see he’s completely head over heels about our sensei… it’s not impossible, Arata-san, I know it isn’t” “No one said it isn’t, it’s just not very likely to work out” Shingyouji sighed. Deep down he knew his lover was right. But also, deep down he knew it wasn’t impossible.

“Shingyouji-kun, thank you so much! I don’t know what would happen if you could not come” Takumi said, his face washed with relief. “No problem. I’ll take it from here then” Shingyouji answered, his goofy smile plastered on his face. “Okay, see you then! And thank you again!” Shingyouji waved to the older boy before turning to the new student. “So… you’re new here, what’s your name?” “I… I’m Ren Iwate, nice to meet you… You are?” the other boy said, looking down. “I’m Shingyouji Kanemitsu! So you’re going to be in my class right? I might as well get to know you then” Shingyouji said with his ever present radiant smile. Ren nodded, managing a small smile. They talked all evening, while Shingyouji served as a guide, showing him around the school, enabling Ren to loosen a bit from his shyness. “You are quite shy but when you start to open up, you’re very funny” Shingyouji said. “Eh? Don’t say that!” Ren shouted, embarrassed. Ren was the perfect female aspect of a man. His hair was long, chocolate like colored; his eyes green and his face had soft features, features that could easily get him mistaken for a girl’s face; his voice was high and soft, almost musical, but it still reminded Shingyouji of a child’s voice, a little girl’s voice. His body was slender and not very tall, he was little more than Shingyouji’s height after all. I better keep a watch on him or the other guys are going to eat him alive, Shingyouji thought. “It’s getting late; my parents wouldn’t be pleased with me for being home so late… I have to go Shingyouji-san” Ren said, looking worried. “Okay then, see you tomorrow! Take care. Oh and, you can call me by something more friendly, Ren-chan” Ren blushed by hearing his name pronounced with such a girlish honorific. “See you…”

(6 months earlier) “Arata-san! Look, look! I got an A! Do I get a reward?” Shingyouji excitedly said, waving a piece of paper around. “Good work, keep it up and you’ll make it to university” Misu said, not once taking his eyes from the sheet of paper he had been so busily looking at the past 3 hours. “Awh, you’re such a mood spoiler!” the boy sighed in defeat. Misu smiled. It was so typical of his puppy. “Come here before I change my mind” he told the younger boy, his expression the only invitation Shingyouji needed. It started as a simple kiss but rapidly grew into something deeper. Shyngyouji was fighting for dominance over Misu’s ever unfaltering tongue, in a challenge he already knew he could not win. He finally gave up, letting himself be dominated. Misu suck on the boy’s tongue, leaving the already swollen lips of his lover to attack his neck. He simply could not resist his puppy’s exposed neck, much less when the boy was leaning in a way that made it fully visible and accessible. He showered the boy in kisses, biting ever so gently here and there. Shingyouji let out beautiful moans, which only helped increase Misu’s arousal even more. “Shingyouji” he breathed into the soft skin. Suddenly, the phone rang. Curse the stupid phone, he admonished, of all times… “Moshi moshi? Oh, Hayama-san! How are you? Oh… really? Sure, I’ll be there in a few” Shingyouji answered on the phone, his face still flushed by the earlier events. “What does he want?” Misu asked, slightly annoyed by the unwanted interruption. “It’s Hayama, there’s a new student and he has something to do with Gii-senpai so he asked if I could fill in for him” Shingyouji explained, scratching his head. He perfectly knew his lover simply hated when something like what happened earlier was left half way, he himself didn’t like it. “I’m going to take a cold shower… get back quickly so we can pick things where we left them” Misu urged the boy, smirking evily. Oh that look on his face, Shingyouji thought, he’s not going to let me sleep tonight…

The man addressed as Mr. V accepted the extended hand pulling himself to his feet and smiled in return. “It was my pleasure. Unlike most humans I have no fear of your kind. I know there are two different categories, those who work with or for humans and those who work against. If I can help add to the list of those who work for us I’ll do whatever I can.” “Well as you know we loathe being seen as bloodsucking monsters so your help is highly appreciated.” Kaisuke spoke up as he stepped forward. “Oh by the way you’re wife I just checked up on her she should be fine within a few hours.” Mr. V turned towards the woman propped up against the wall. “I see thank you. I guess in all the acting I got a little too into my character.” Haiake chuckled as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You should think of taking up on acting. You were very convincing to me.” “Well try to remember that when you’re out on the field there won’t be actors. You’ll be dealing with the real thing. “ Miakatsu stated hotly. Haiake turned to glare at the other vampire. “Try telling me something I don’t already know.” “Well considering how low you’re intelligence is it would take too long to list everything so I’m not even going to waste my breath.” Miakatsu responded turning his back to the others. “You know it’s very rude to compare yourself to others.” Haiake retorted, “Mia.” Miakatsu stepped forward eyes glowing fangs bared “You just signed your own death warrant.” Before he could get any closer he was blocked. “Do you two want to punished again?” Tozouku asked looking back and forth between the two arguing vampires.” “He started it.” Was the answer from both of them. Mr. V glanced over at Kaisuke. “I’m guessing this happens often.” Kaisuke chuckled. “When it comes to those two it’s a daily ritual. I’m still trying to figure out how Tozouku has managed to pacify them.” “Because neither of them wishes to feel my wrath.” Tozouku stated, his voice low and menacing. “Now apologize. NOW!” Miakatsu’s eyes returned to normal and his fangs retracted. “I suppose my comments were uncalled for. I hope I would not be too bold in asking for forgiveness.” Haiake bit his lip. “It would only be fair of me to ask for forgiveness of you in return.” Tozouku expression did a complete one-eighty and smiled warmly. “Come on you three it’s time to head back to the manor. You all have school in the morning and I expect all of you to be there on time.” Kaisuke yawned, “You know I didn’t even do any work tonight and I’m downright exhausted. What about you two?” Miakatsu shrugged. “I guess so.” “Same here. I think it’s best if we head back now.” Haiake added throwing in a yawn of his own. “In fact I feel quite woozy to be honest.” Tozouku turned around in time to catch Haiake as his legs gave out. “Haiake when was the last time you fed?” “Um ten days ago.” Haiake answered his voice quiet. “Careless as usual.” Miakatsu muttered. He shut his mouth when he noticed the look Tozouku was shooting him. “Let’s just get home.” “Way ahead of you.” Kaisuke stated already a fair distance away. “Tozouku are you going to make breakfast again?” Tozouku was busy hoisting Haiake onto his back. “I planned to yes. Is there anything particular you wish to have?” Miakatsu picked up his pace as he followed the others back. “I’m not picky you guys already know that.” “That’s got to be a first.” Haiake muttered weakly. “You’re lucky you’re in your current state or I-“ Miakatsu began. Tozouku turned allowing is emerald eyes to glow. “Or you’ll what?” Recoiling Miakatsu stepped back. “Nothing.” “That’s what I thought.” Tozouku answered picking up his pace. “Now come on. We’ve had a long day. Rest is required for all of us.” Kaisuke stretched his arms up and yawned again “I just wish it was Friday.” Miakatsu scoffed. “I don’t.” Kaisuke nearly stopped in his tracks. “Why is that?” Miakatsu looked at the slightly taller vampire. “Have you forgotten?” “The Chief has an important case for us this weekend. Remember?” Haiake stated as he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Tozouku lightly shook the vampire on his back. “Hush now. A job well done deserves a reward. Rest now. You’ll feed tomorrow.” Haiake had no reason to argue and no strength so he closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall into a blissful slumber. Kaisuke watched as the newest addition to the team did indeed fall asleep and looked at Miakatsu. “Hey think you can go on ahead? I want to talk to Tozouku alone.” Normally one would be insulted to be excluded from a conversation but Miakatsu was different. “That’s fine I’ll see you guys back at the manor.” Not waiting for response Miakatsu picked up his speed leaving the other two alone. Kaisuke made sure Haiake was asleep before turning his attention to Tozouku. “I wasn’t kidding when I asked if you think he’s ready. I saw him from afar. He looked really shaken up.” Tozouku sighed. “Kaisuke you were the same way on your first mission so you have no room to talk. But you have been with me the longest that’s why I want you to keep an eye on him like you did Miakatsu when he joined us.” Kaisuke only nodded. “I can do that. But Tozouku why do you think those two can’t get along? They’re both vampires they’re both white-eyed and they both have an ego bigger than the hungriest vampire’s appetite.” “Exactly. They can’t get alone because they have too much in common. They say opposites attract. Obviously these two aren’t opposites so the result is obvious.” Tozouku started. “Well I just hope for both their sakes they find some neutral ground. One of these days I fear they may do something the will both regret.” Kaisuke muttered. Tozouku said nothing to that knowing no words need be spoken. He knew Kaisuke was right. If Miakatsu and Haiake didn’t learn to get along the results could indeed be dangerous for all of their kind.