We Love You, Sensei! ((Closed Group RP))

[Yujiko]

The man had been sitting at his desk, reading when the other had walked in- in fact, the sensei didn't even realize that other had spoken until- "Yoshida-sensei. Does it hurt?" Eyes widening for a moment, he looked up at the student- glad even slightly that it was Himura. "Ah- yeah... I fell of my bed last night- it's nothing..." He said plainly before returning to his book. Seeing Himura- the one who had rescued him and then frowned upon his acts made him anxious. Hiding his feelings he glanced back up at Himura," What's this?" He asked grabbing the papers.Looking through them a smiled carved into his face," Were coming to show me you're homework?" Yoshida chuckled. "Thank you..." He smiled warmly- he meant it. His face froze for a moment as soon as he realized-I just smiled... His eyes drfited down from the confused expression that they made and stared at the papers," Ehm... G-good work, Himura-kun..." His cheeks were tinted with a light pink.

[theblackdog]

He nodded slightly as Yoshida explained away his injury, however he didn't feel entirely convinced. None the less, his attention was quickly diverted when the papers in his hands were suddenly taken away. He gripped the strap on his book bag and his gaze lowered onto the desk for a second. His cheeks felt warm as Yoshida poked at the fact Ryo was eager to show his homework. "Its..its not like that." He tried to say in a very small voice. He looked back up at his sensei and was taken aback for a moment. There was that smile. But it seemed different, somehow more genuine. "I didn't forget." He said shyly but proud of the fact he remembered to turn it in.

 

He didn't mention that he didn't call or text to remind him. It wasn't exactly his responsibility to get a hold of students and make sure they're doing what they are supposed to do. He wasn't going to say anything either. The invitation was there, and wasn't going anywhere. He smiled back, lifting a hand behind his head. "I will get to my seat now, so you can start class." He took a step back, his eyes holding on Yoshida's for a moment longer before turning away and sitting in the back of the classroom.

[Yujiko]

The sensei looked at the other slightly puzzled,"Its..its not like that."-"I didn't forget." He smiled and chuckled to himself, "I will get to my seat now, so you can start class." Nodding the man stood. "Okay... Today we're having a pop quiz~" Most of the students 'awh'd about the news. "Turn the quiz in by the end of class and no books..." Chimed the man before sitting back down. The moans and groans of the sad students make him grin. You should have studied...

 

Time wasn't on the man's mind, his mind was on the book before him- his eyes jolted back and forth between the pages. He was reading rather quickly. A sigh fell heavy from his lips as his rubbed his eyes. Ugh... My head hurts... He slid his hand s to his cheeks and scanned the room. He noticed how most of the students were starring at their papers blankly and how few were done or writing.

[theblackdog]

He kept his eyes down for the most part, concentrating on the quiz, or at least trying to. He bit down on the end of his pencil out of nervous habit, finding the words on the paper merging and distorting themselves before his eyes. Shaking his head lightly he sighed and pushed the paper away, dropping the pencil on his desk. It was easy enough to complete but his mind kept taking him somewhere else. 'It'll go away.' He encouraged himself, this attack to his senses happened often but he just had to sit it out, wait for it to pass. He figured it had to be connected to the accident many years ago when he lost his complete memory. He never talked about it, despite being recommended several doctors he should go and see about it.

 

An annoying cringe in his stomach started to build up, he needed to get out of this room, he needed to get away entirely. Standing up, he snatched the paper up and stalked towards Yoshida's desk, sliding the paper down. He didn't say a word or even look up at him, he simply turned and left the classroom. He couldn't get outside quick enough. He could feel his heart rate going up and his breath shortening, almost as if he were having a panic attack. He didn't care where he was going, he just needed to find a cold dark place to be alone. He left the school grounds and wandered around for a bit.

 

After almost half an hour of walking around he found himself in an alley way. No traffic. No people. He slumped against a wall and sank to the ground. For a moment he just sat there, unmoving until he remembered something he had in his back pack. He unzipped it and pulled out the bottle of rum, eying it for a second before opening it and taking a long swig. It caught in his throat and burned as it went down but the sensation was a welcome. He knew the more he consumed the less he felt anxious. It wasn't exactly therapy but it helped calmed his nerves, for now.

[Yujiko]

Eyes returning to the book, they didn't stay there for long. Footsteps from above echoed in his ears. Looking up to where the sound had originated, he saw Himura walking towards his desk- backpack gathered and all. He was puzzled from the beginning of the student's sudden nearing- something felt off. Yoshia lean forward slightly as the other got closer to his desk,"-Is everything-" But he didn't get to finish. Himura dumped the quiz on his desk and walked out the door. Yoshida stood quickly after notice the sudden sweaty look he had. If He felt sick he should have said something... beginning to run for the door he stopped and turned around. "umm... jun-kun! You're in charge!"

 

After rushing out of the room, Yoshida looked down the hall to his right, then his left. Once he saw Himura he began to follow...

 

He lost sight of the other male for a moment. The man wondered down the deserted side walk for a few feet before passing a dark alley. He heard the sound of glass against the concrete and trailed back. He peered into the dark alley, standing there for a moment. Walking down it he squinted trying make his eyes adjust to the dark area quicker. His eyes focused and he saw the young male. What the hell.... "Himura... What the hell are you doing...?" His face was plain- expressionless if one could see it in the darkness...

[theblackdog]

He had his head leaned back, eyes closed, off in another world. It felt nice for a change, not a single thought racing through his mind. Footsteps approached which he ignored at first until they stopped next to him. He heard a voice call out to him and his head turned in the direction, the light hurting his eyes. A figure stood between him and the sidewalk and he couldn't quite make it out at first until he finally recognized the voice. "Yoshida-sensei, sit down. Have a drink." He offered, his voice wasn't slurred but he sounded different, carefree with an indifference he didn't have before.

 

He sat up slightly and set the bottle down next to him, looking ahead of him. If he was going to feel ashamed he would have but he didn't have a hair of guilt. His only regret was being found out. Standing up, he leaned his body against the wall and looked towards Yoshida. "It's not like I'm under aged." He said, almost defensively. He smirked a little and stepped closer, his hazel eyes sparkling with that glaze of influence.

[Yujiko]

Yoshida's expression remained unmoved and unchanged. "That's disgusting..." He retorted quickly. Running a hand through his hair he grabbed the bottle and poured it out. "And here I thought there was more than a addiction going on with you- Alcohol will ruin your life and bring my interest in you as a person to 0..." He commented as he tossed the bottle in a trash can. He turned around to see the other, a feeling of responsibility fulling in his stomach region.

 

A sigh fell as his eyes met the ground for a moment," Oh- Damnit..." He growled grabbing the younger's bag and arm. "Come with me you drunken slob..." he dragged the other out of the alley and around the corner hailing a cab. "You're a helpless case... Maybe that's why I care..."

[theblackdog]

He watched the liquid cascade from the bottle and soak into the earth. He looked back to his teacher and narrowed his eyes a bit at Yoshida's words. They stung. He wasn't anything like his mother but he knew it didn't justify what he had done. He wanted to tell the man he didn't understand or it wasn't what he thought but the words never came. He just stood there and watched him gather his things and finally grab his arm and lead him out of the alley. "Sensei..I-" He began but his words fell short. He wanted to just give in and have all sense of control released to him but it weighed on him, heavily.

 

"Look, you don't have to do this. I'm fine." He finally said, pulling his arm away gently. "Yoshida-sensei, it's just... There's a lot going on. There's always something going on and I know this isn't the answer." He tried to explain, holding back personal information he just wasn't ready to share with him. It pained him to see that face so emotionless. And for the first time, it was his fault this man wasn't smiling. He frowned and looked up into Yoshida's eyes. "If you're taking me home I don't want to go. I can't go. Not like this." He admitted, searching his eyes for something. "I'll go-" He thought for a moment, feeling completely lost. "I can go to the park and sleep it off or something. I don't want to trouble you. I'm... I'm sorry." His voice was low, an uncertainty lingering in it.

[Yujiko]

"I wasn't going to take you home..." He said plainly looking at the other man. "I was going to take you to my house- obviously something at home is troubling you- so why would I force you to go back?" He pulled the student into the cab," 6890 Kenpo Drive, 371." Stated the sensei to the driver. The driver nodded and began driving. "If you don't want to be there, then walk to where ever from there- but, I'm not going to let you ruin yourself on my watch..."

 

He expression was nonexistent, his tone of voice monotone and heartless. Why was he so dull and plain outside of school? Why was he so different like this...?

 

A sigh fell from his lips as he glanced at the younger," So... Why do you hate home, Himura-kun?" He asked turning his body in the direction of the other while sitting in his seat. "I'm good at listening..." He justified.

[theblackdog]

He felt slightly hurt by the inexpressive man. Just seeing how dim those eyes were made him wish he could just hide from them. He wondered if this what Yoshida was always hiding behind that smile. He turned his head away and stared out the window, he felt hot and closed in. When Yoshida turned to him he shifted a little, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He didn't feel exactly himself and he damned himself for drinking. First and foremost he wanted to apologize but the words didn't come out. "Thank You..." He did say, his eyes trailing up towards Yoshida's. He couldn't even smile, seeing that face so bleak. There was something very dark about him, Ryo could sense this for sure. It wasn't evil or bad, but something weighed heavy in that man's heart.

 

He took a moment to compose his thoughts before he looked down, his eyes resting on Yoshida's lap. "When I was 13, I was in a car accident... I lost all my memory and spent weeks in the hospital in a coma. When I woke up, I felt like a newborn... I couldn't walk or talk and I had no idea who I was until this woman told me she was my mother and was going to take me home. Nothing felt right to me but I didn't know any better, I gained my motor skills back and when I went back to school it was like I was starting all over again. I picked up things very quickly and before I knew it I was relying on myself." He paused for a moment, holding his hands together.

 

"My mom, from day one, was a drunk. All day and all night. She would tell me stories about my childhood and told me about my brother and father who were in the accident with me, how they didn't make it. When she talks about them, she acts like it happened yesterday, even though it was 9 years ago." His voice sounded grim. He gazed out the window and sighed. "I always wonder if she resents the fact I was the only one who survived." He smirked slightly and shook his head. "I'm sorry Yoshida-sensei, you had to see me like this. " He looked towards the other man, frowning. "I'm sorry I couldn't make you smile." His hand touched the side of Yoshida's face gently, his eyes staring into the others for a moment before he withdrew himself, turning away to hide the increased redness in his cheeks. "Sorry..."

[Yujiko]

He didn't feel sorry, he would if he could, and he knew that. looking down at the floor he tried hard to listen to the other, his sad story- but, as always, he couldn't feel for him. The man's sense of empathy was rather minuscule. Yoshida didn't really understand his feelings either. A sigh fell heavy of his lips as the other spoke his life story. If your mom's a drunk, shouldn't you hate alcohol...? Returning his eyes to the student, his voice gain some emotion," She probably is traumatized... Her husband and one of her sons are gone- and for a while her only son lost his memory- not knowing who she was... I'd lose my mind too if I was her..." He spoke softly- it was something better than his tone from before. "I'm sorry Yoshida-sensei, you had to see me like this. " "It's fine- you don't bother me..." He was about to turn his head away when Himura placed his hand on the older's cheek. "I'm sorry I couldn't make you smile." Yoshida blushed- such tenderness- he wasn't use to it... At all...

 

Dropping his head, he chuckled, a thin smile etching into his cheeks. "Silly boy..." The smile soon faded- rather quickly. A sigh fell once again from his lips. "I suffer from extreme Emotional Suppression... As a child I was very emotional, my family told me to stop and my father would punish me often. Eventually I learned to push it down, hold it in- and well, eventually you stop trying and it just happens... Now I can't empathize with others nor can I express how I feel- in fact I've forgotten what it was like to feel a lot of things... I mostly remember pain and sorrow- but we always remember the bad things right?" He scoffed slightly at himself. " -And sic, I only pretend too be happy- feeding off of other people's happy or good auras..." He folded his arms. "So- don't be yourself up..."

[theblackdog]

He shook his head very lightly, the idea that his mom was traumatized was probably spot on but it still pained him. He was the only living person she had left in her life and all she wanted to do was mourn the deaths of the rest of family every waking moment. He cringed upon hearing Yoshida's story, the thought of being punished because he was emotional, it seemed so wrong. Why take happiness from a child? You might as well take their life away. He clutched the fabric on the car seat and stared at the floor, ignoring all sights and sounds that whizzed by. "I don't know how you do it." He said. "Sometimes I feel so dead inside but these emotions have their way of pushing their way out, I think it's why I become so overwhelmed at times. Today I... I couldn't stop my heart from racing and I felt so angry..." He admitted, lowering his head further. "I wanted to smash in the windows and at the same time I felt this sadness. I haven't cried since I was a kid... I feel like I'm just waiting, for this grand finale." He fell silent then leaned back and smiled softly.

 

He looked towards Yoshida and wanted to reach out to him again, what gave him this urge he had no idea but the sensation of his skin against his hand felt good in a sense, warm and alive. "I know it may sound naive, but you should smile more often. Nobody is going to punish you Yoshida-sensei... At least I won't. It really does suit you. You're not so cute when you're not smiling." He let out a small laugh and smiled gently towards Yoshida, the first honest emotion he had in a long time and he didn't want to repress it. Everyone needs someone, a friend, a partner, a guide, and Ryo wanted to assure Yoshida he wasn't alone.

[Yujiko]

"-And my greatest weakness is words..." He said looking to the other with a sideways glance. "Roughly six years ago a man told me he loved me.. And I believe him- so I let him do whatever he wanted... Because I felt as if he loved me- It was nice feeling until I woke up with regret and pain in stomach... Then he died- He was in a car accident on the way to a cafe that I asked him to meet me at so I could break it off... I went to the funeral- I didn't show emotion or cry- nothing.... His brother later confronted me- took advantage of me- and now I'm here. He's married too- it's just skin and sheets... I hate it... He traps me with that man- his brother- who died because of me..." He sighed," I should be telling you this..."

 

The cab came to a stop and the sensei got out tossing 5000 yen at the driver. The driver drove off. "So... Are you staying?"

[theblackdog]

He listened for a moment, trying to understand the man. He wanted to say he only trapped himself by not leaving the situation but he knew all too well it was never that easy. He stepped out of the cab and nodded towards him, ready to follow him. He felt safe for the time being, by this man's side. He couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be. He was silent for a moment, watching the cab drive away before turning to Yoshida. "Sometimes things happen to people that out of our control. People leave this world sometimes suddenly without reason or because it was simply their time. You can't-" He stopped, wanting to continue but he didn't want to hurt Yoshida.

 

"It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't let this man haunt you. He was obviously someone very important to you, you should only think fondly of him." He offered his assurance, a sad expression falling on his face. "I try every night in vain to fight away the guilt. I know it wasn't my fault that my brother and father died, but I ask myself why I wasn't taken too. I think I was supposed to live on, and the reason my memory was taken was so I could continue to live. Something happened that night that I will never remember and maybe it's for the best. You just have to be strong... We are here for a reason. " He explained in a quiet voice. He ignored the woozy feeling he got from standing too long, trying not to let it show.

[Yujiko]

"It doesn't matter- I'm not going to enable him... But, I'm so much weaker than him- and my body tends to betray me..." He sighed, the older man did. "Nevertheless..." He turned to the younger. "You.. Don't look so hot do you need some help...?" The sensei stepped forward and pressed his the back of his hand to the student's forehead. "You're not warm... How do you feel?" he expression was softer- not very emotional, but not to emotionless. His body began to turn around," If you get too dizzy just hold my arm..." The sensei began into the apartment complex, traveling the main hall until he reached the elevator.

[theblackdog]

He blinked at Yoshida, never really giving him a good look over. He was taller than him but he weighed about the same, which wasn't exactly to his advantage. He smirked slightly upon hearing his admittance of weakness. "You just need to put some meat on those bones." He joked, checking out the man's body. He smiled as Yoshida placed on a hand on his forehand, it wasn't everyday someone was caring for him, it felt nice and he welcomed it. "I'm fine sensei." He assured, brushing away any worries Yoshida may have had. "I'll be alright, just need to sit down sometime soon." He admitted. His head was beginning to feel slightly woozy but he knew he'd be okay if he took careful steps.

[Yujiko]

"If you say so..." He murmured pressing the button to make the elevator doors open. Walking inside he pulled the younger in gently. "It don't remember if I cleaned my house or not..." Admitted the sensei, still cold and emotionless. The ride was rather awkward and quiet if you will. The door open once it reached the top floor. Walking out of the elevator, Yoshida led the younger to an apartment room labeled "A-582". The elder slid a hand into his pocket, securing a ring of keys. He lifted them so that he could search for the one that would open his door.

 

Soon he found the key and unlocked the door, taking the key out of the lock. Once he was past the door way he took his shoes off and looked to the younger," Doozo ohairi kudasai..."

[theblackdog]

He followed him to the elevator and rode up in silence, his eyes watching the floor the whole trip up. Fortunately for him, the liquor did it's job. He wasn't thinking as much anymore but he was thinking about something else. He thought how nice it was of his sensei to help him but he felt somewhat ashamed at the same time. Why couldn't he just have gone home and went to sleep like a good boy? He was never one to do things the easy way, this was becoming a well known fact among the people who knew or were getting to know him like his sensei. He was pressed against the wall waiting when Yoshida searched for the right key and lead him into his apartment. He kicked off his shoes and set his stuff down.

 

"Ne, sensei, you've got a good looking apartment." He commented as he stepped inside. He hadn't really looked around he just felt like complimenting the place, since Yoshida was letting him stay afterall. "Gotta get me one of these, ya know?" He smirked turning to Yoshida. The man looked tired to him, not just physically but mentally drained. He spent day in and day out keeping his emotions to himself and trying to act like he didn't care but Ryo knew somewhere deep down there was that boy whose emotions were ready to explode out of him. He was watching Yoshida for a moment, not afraid to let him see it. He felt compelled to show him emotions weren't the enemy, that sometimes its really okay to show people how you really feel. "Thanks again sensei... You really saved me there." He smiled awkwardly, trying not to show the guilt he felt about his own dilemma.

[Yujiko]

Those cold eyes fell to the floor as he shut the door. "Ne, sensei, you've got a good looking apartment." The hazel eyes trailed up to the student's eyes. "I guess... It's rather plain..." The statement seemed dull and heartless. "Gotta get me one of these, ya know?" "No... I don't know..." His eyes were pained- he hated the feel of being heartless and empty... He hoping one day there would be someone that would break this spell that fell on him. "Thanks again sensei... You really saved me there." Sighing he walked past the student,"I guess... The couch is over there if you'd like to sit..." Pointing into the large space that the small entrance way opened into.

 

"Would you like anything to drink... I don't have alcohol, don't ask..." He murmured out to the younger. Of course he was lying- but, how could the other know...?

[theblackdog]

He felt like his endeavor was in vain, no matter what he said or did the man walked around like he didn't have a heart beating in his chest. He moved through the room and plopped down on the couch. He glanced around the room then found Yoshida. "Sensei, it is really that hard for you?" He asked, his voice trailing though. He wasn't sure why he asked that, it seemed now he was just prying and he even thought how rude he was being. "Forget it. Sure I'll just take some water." He said, leaning back. It felt good to be sitting down, the motion of walking around or simply moving made him feel dizzy. He recalled an expression Yoshida made, when he walked in and caught the student with him. The comment his sensei made about a certain spot, it seemed it was the only time he'd seen that kind of vulnerability from him.

 

He glanced to Yoshida and was growing increasingly curious about him. He cared enough to follow after him and take him back to his place, there had to be more to him. He moved forward and sat on the edge of the couch, his eyes watching the floor lost in thought. What he was thinking was beyond anything he would normally do but if it worked, it would be worth it.

[Yujiko]

"Sensei, it is really that hard for you?" The man looked up for a moment, he grabbed a glass. "Forget it. Sure I'll just take some water." Nodding, the sensei filled the glass with water. He grabbed a beer for himself and began for the living room area of the apartment. His step were long and lazy. He ploped onto the couch beside the other male, handing his a glass of water. "Here..." Upon the other taking the glass he popped the top of his beer and sipped it. Quickly, he set the drink down and fell back into the couch, resting his eyes.

[theblackdog]

He noted how nonchalant the man was, how everything he did, he did with a sense of indifference. In a way it ultimately unnerved him. He knew Yoshida was capable of it, he saw it once before with his own eyes. He just didn't do it, he was so very void. He took the drink and sipped on it before setting it down. His head fell back gently and he found himself staring at the ceiling. He couldn't keep his mind from wondering, going from one thing to another before he really got a chance to grasp the thought. For the time, he wouldn't worry too much about it. Shaking his head he sat up and shifted his body towards Yoshida. He found no words say or thoughts to share. He just watched him with a mild expression, thinking to himself.

 

From what Yoshida had told him, he was involved in a rather unhealthy relationship with a married man. For starters, a married man. A man. He wasn't innocent by any standards but he hadn't been open or trusting about that sort of thing and it surprised him a little how Yoshida shared the information. If anything he could have mistaken his openness for trust but it could stem from his lack of emotion, that he simply didn't care. Ryo had never let himself become emotionally involved but in all honesty he never was in a relationship that would allow him to detach himself like that. He inched a little closer in a very subtle manner. Even if Yoshida had noticed he wasn't exactly hiding what he was doing. He was suddenly very curious, something he had thought he had hidden away awakening in him.

"Damn that brat... How'd he even find out that's where my spot is..." Yoshida's voice from back in the classroom echoed in his mind. He heard and he couldn't forget it if he wanted to. He didn't think of what could come of his actions, he just simply acted. He closed off the distance between them, his body very gently brushing against Yoshida's. He stretched out his neck and trailed his lips behind the man's earlobe, kissing it lightly. He breathed softly, his lips suspended lightly against Yoshida's neck. "This spot?" He spoke quietly, an innocent questioning in his tone.

[Yujiko]

Yoshida was aware of the other's moments, but thought nothing of them. The thought of the other adjusting himself was a very plausible thought that shot through his head. His guard was down, but he thought it could be. His breath was normal, if not slower, as the younger inched closer. Quickly his eyes began to feel heavy, even though closed. The man sighed a relaxing breath. He's probably just adjusting himself...

 

The elder was in a deep state of relaxation now, his mind calm and collected. He began to feel the heat of other's body grow fairly close to his, but he was to relaxed to really care now. Until the other had brushed his clothing, he wasn't aware of how close he was. And when the other's lips pecked behind his ear, his mouth opened slightly to relieve a faint and soft gasp of pleasure. "This spot?" His eyes opening slightly, looking at the other, "H-himura-kun... Ah... W-why...?" A hand gripped his pants and the other gripping part of the younger's clothing,"Ah..." Yoshida uncomfortably twisted his ankles together. And though the other's lips weren't touching him now, he could feel the breath and future contact already.

[theblackdog]

'Why?' He thought to himself, the question lingering in his mind. He couldn't justify himself, perhaps it was the alcohol but before he thought to stop he had already committed the act. He pulled back slowly and moved Yoshida's hand away from him. "It feels good." He answered simply, sitting back against the couch. It had to him, he finally came to that conclusion. Why his brain was taking so long to process this, he'd no idea. But what he did know was there was a reason the man in Yoshida's life was so attached to him. He was someone one could become addicted to. He was dangerous, so void of emotion, so easily overcome.

 

It unnerved Ryo, how could Yoshida let himself become so vulnerable? A heavy sigh fell from his lips as he settled into the couch. He wasn't sure what he could say at the moment, so many thoughts flashed through his head like subliminal messaging. So for the moment he offered silence, remained composed and would either drift off to sleep or be abruptly thrown out of the apartment.

[Yujiko]

"It feels good." Oh, how that reply fell on deaf ears. As the other retreated and moved yoshida's hand from wherever it was, the man beveled over into the corner of the couch. His cheeks were laced in red and his eyes hazy. his hand gripped his pants tighter, trying to hold in the pleasure still coursing through his veins. He hated how easily he was over come by pleasure- the only emotion he couldn't hold back. It was too strong, and because he hides everything else- his other emotion pour out through the pleasure. Pleasure is like his tears.

 

The older man's hair cascaded in front of his face, hiding his eyes. Embarrassment was evident upon him. He felt awkward- led on. "W.. Why did you stop...?" Asked the elder softly, quietly- almost inaudible. His bit his lip. now he had urges, lustful wants, and desires. All because of that short moment of pleasure. "W-what am I saying...? I.. I..." He was confused, conflict in himself raging. He wanted the release- but, the other was his student. The relationship would me far from ethical. "I- I'm confused..." He murmured. The man sat there awkwardly, his hair covering his eyes.