Captives (a prose poem?)

[mangotango]

I think all of my poetry turns into prose! Ahaha... ^^;

 

This is for a dear friend of mine, who went through a tough breakup with his boyfriend of many years. We were discussing the difficulty living as a gay couple in society (more difficult in some parts of the country/world than others). This piece was born from that conversation. It is hard for me to fathom what he felt as he realized what a huge role society and his peers played in their breakup, as I am heterosexual, so society doesn't seem so focused on my sexual orientation as it does on his (which I find riduculous that society would feel it necessary to dictate who we should and should not love.)

 

ANYWAY, I'm getting into some sort of declaration here *steps off soap box*, but I feel love is love, no matter who we are, what we look like, our gender, our age, etc. In this piece, I tried to see it from each of their perspectives, and show the hope that love will, as the fairytales keep telling us, conquer all.

 

Captives

 

Captives

He’s reveling in his mysterious beauty, awed by his touch and held captive by his eyes. Lover, don’t ever stop…don’t ever let go. Looking back, he realizes just how innocent innocence can be, with a crooked smile and alluring eyes, as he slips him a kiss that slowly turns to maddening desire. He's more radiant than he ever thought possible…more amazing than anyone in his wildest dreams. He wants him, but irony floats low above the bed they share. His mind reels as he holds him close, feeling connected for the first time. He’s pulling desperately, trying to keep him painfully within reach of his heart. He sees the yearning he feels reflected in his eyes…this love could be his undoing.

 

I could never forget the way you looked at me as we silently battled wits, testing what we wanted to be true. Love was unexpected, uncommon, and unplanned for, but I knew I wanted it…knew I wanted you despite society’s clenched fist wrapped round the beating heart of the young lover. I’m young, I know, but I’m tugging gently, fighting hard to keep us bound in a dream where reservations don’t exist and time stands still. You stood there perfectly in my right frame of mind, yet we were both too afraid to break the binds that held us captives of society. I clutch the dream, hold fast to it as I pray we can somehow defy the adversity which surrounds us, but does not define us. I’m looking into your eyes now, and I see hope…this love could be our undoing.

 

 

 

A side note: my friend, who read this recently and felt like I had somehow seen things through his eyes *hugs* mentioned that this could apply to all relationships in a way. Just replace some of the pronouns! I hadn't thought of this, but then I'm thinking... doesn't that sorta prove that love is universal, no matter if it is between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, etc?

 

rabbit13

 

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you've been tagged! *smooch* xD and

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because I adore you ^^ and

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because we were just talking about writing yesterday and

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because, well, just because I like talking to you and sharing with you! Everyone else, I tag you because I heart your faces and I don't want people to be left out :3

[rainbowman]

"He wants him, but irony floats low above the bed they share."

"knew I wanted you despite society’s clenched fist wrapped round the beating heart of the young lover."

"You stood there perfectly in my right frame of mind, yet we were both too afraid to break the binds that held us captives of society. I clutch the dream, hold fast to it as I pray we can somehow defy the adversity which surrounds us, but does not define us."

 

Yes and it does apply to any kind of relationship..

Wow, you did see through him, and the moment I saw the title "Captives" I foresee what it is you have written(but not really that much, just the idea).

It's most likely, people like "us" usually say, 'we are young, yes we are, but whatever we feel, whether it's puppy love, infatuation, lie, whatever it is we want to keep it, for it may grow like a seed to a flower, from crush to true love.'

There are many BIG HEADED people who are actually narrow minded =='

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*o* you inspire me most, swears..

[mangotango]

It's most likely, people like "us" usually say, 'we are young, yes we are, but whatever we feel, whether it's puppy love, infatuation, lie, whatever it is we want to keep it, for it may grow like a seed to a flower, from crush to true love.'

There are many BIG HEADED people who are actually narrow minded =='

@mangotango *o* you inspire me most, swears..

 

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*snuggles you* Aw, thank you... you inspire me, my dear!!!

Yes, the way you said that, I agree!!! Beautiful way to put it!

Narrow minded people... grr!

[rainbowman]

But I hope your friend will have a nice future at end all is well ^^

[mangotango]

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:D Aw!

Yes, love is already difficult, and then when people try to influence one's love, it turns into a huge mess. I firmly believe people should be able to love whomever they choose. Shame on those who can't help but get in the middle and ruin love for others. >.

*hugs you* Yes, he is hopeful for the future. :3 Thank you! I will pass that along to him ^-^

[NanaNtingki]

Well... That was trully touching:)

 

I really loved the way you expressed your view. I think it captures the most essential part of love: that it has no shape nor form nor restriction; it knows no boundaries. Love is free.

To be honest my mind has been in a haze all day today, but I still think it's wonderful.

 

It made me feel sad, though. Not only because of your friend's situation, but because society is such an unwelcoming place. It made me think of what will happen if one day I have a son and he is gay. How would they treat him and how would they treat me for accepting him as he is? What would our relatives say and how much my support would help him through it? I want to believe that the future holds marvelous things, but it seems like society's favourite thing is to condemn it just to accept it and accept it just to condemn it. Peoples' hearts aren't playdoh, nobody should dictate how and for whom they should feel.

 

I don't really know your friend's situation and it pains me that he had to part from the person he loves because of someone else's interference. Whether it was family or friends/acquaintances, breaking people up is inexcusable; but if it was the latter, then please allow me to feel enraged.

 

I'm a bit reluctant about that whole 'you're young' thing. What does 'young' mean? We're old enough to know what path to choose in life at 16 or work and live on our own at 18 but we're too young to know what love is and make choices? It's true that everything is relevant and you're never to old to learn, but in this case it really seems like it's used as a convenient excuse to serve their own purposes, poison minds and get the outcome they wish. And then, who are we supposed to listen to about love? People who are bitter about it or have forgotten how love feels like?

 

I have a friend who is homosexual and came out to her family and there isn't even a single person among them that supports her. They keep on judging and treating her badly and there's only so much she can take. And really, there is nothing I can do to support her when she's being attacked like that everyday.

 

I hope your friend feels better and moves on. I can't speak about his ex-boyfriend and I wouldn't like to be judgmental, but I at least hope your friend will grow stronger out of this and find his happiness. I'm glad that he found such a caring friend in you:) I hope he'll also find a caring and loving partner who won't be afraid to face society or anything and anybody else together with him.

 

And in this context:

[mangotango]

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Yes, I hold out some hope for a future in which people can be accepted for who they are... perhaps too idealistic in a sense ^^ But I know, I felt a bit discouraged when I wrote this while thinking about how society operates. It's a real shame, too.

 

Yes, I was enraged. I feel terrible about the whole situation (I won't share too much, as it's not my story to share... I even asked him permission to post this on here xD) but I can say my friend was younger than his ex, so that was another thing they felt they had to "fight", not just being a gay couple but having a span of years between them. I think I mentioned how I believe age shouldn't matter (perhaps because I have been in that situation, too) and speaking from my personal experience, my ex said it was harder for him to be the older person in our relationship because he felt people were judging him more than they were judging me...? I think, something like that. In a sense, this same thing happened to my friend, and that was really how we got to talking about relationships in general.

 

But, it's like, if an older woman dates a younger man/woman, the stereotypical things some people think about that, etc. >.

 

I am sorry your friend has to go through that... nobody should ever have to deal with that. I wish her the very best... and I want to smack her entire family. One of my cousins is gay, and he had a tough time coming out to the family (well, only our grandparents... he was raised by my grandparents) but the rest of us have supported and loved him just the same :3 His boyfriend also grew up with grandparents, but they totally supported him throughout his childhood. He used to play dress up and even his grandpa would compliment his lovely outfits and encourage him to create new ones (his grandparents are just freaking awesome, I love them!)

 

And... NIN! Yes. Just, yes. ^^

 

p.s- Thank you :3

[NanaNtingki]

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I'm glad you got permission to share this, that makes you an even better friend.

 

Well, if we just isolate this fact, I believe that even when there's a big age difference, how people see their relationship and act towards the other party is based on their characters and how they perceive situations. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything else falls in that category, because each individual analyses input and stimuli differently and behaves with what he/she has in mind. But when it's not isolated and it's additional to who knows what else, it's really not that easy.

 

I have the example of a friend who broke up much in the same situation as you(and I also have me, but I don't count.) and the example of a friend who broke up their relationship not because of age difference, but because their characters collided.

 

And that's basically what I meant when I said that I hope he finds a partner who'll go through everything together with him.

Love, at least for me, at it's most marvelous expression is when two people fight through difficulties and contradictions together, no matter what problmes they face. I know this is hard. And I'm pretty much delusional. But I hope he can find someone close to what he wants in a partner.

 

Thank you for my friend:)

 

Those grandparents sound incredibly interesting:) Coming out to one's family usually is a bumpy road, but unless the family consists of people like in

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or

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manga, then I believe things will work out.

 

NIN

 

p.s. no need to thank me:)

[mangotango]

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I think I agree, and I feel that this goes along with the character part... if a person is heavily influenced by those around him/her (peers, society, family, etc.) that can both help/hinder a relationship. It seems like a part of who that person is... it affects the way in which that person treats/reacts to his/her partner. I think in my case, I thought I was willing to fight for the relationship, even though I knew (because he stated as much) that he was not so willing to fight. It's a bit complicated (at least in my head haha!) but the jist of it is, I'm not sorry we were together, but I'm sorry for the way in which it turned out. I guess. See, I still don't even know and it's been years! xD

 

But yes, I think my dear friend will find someone. He's a great guy and he's not so easily discouraged (I admire this aspect of him so much). He gave himself time for reflection, and then he emerged with a new sense of who he was.

 

Yes, my cousin's boyfriend used to mix together little cosmetic things, like lotions, and he would have his grandparents try them out. They would always love them and be so encouraging... I feel this is why he has such a stong sense of who he is due to the support he received from those who raised him. ^-^ He also passes this along to my cousin, and he has since become stronger and our grandparents have since come around and embrace who he is. I'm very thankful.

[NanaNtingki]

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Yeah, that was my point exactly:) I understand what you're trying to say. I have the same feeling exactly for a relationship that ended seven and a half years ago, and there wasn't any age difference. I've got no lingering attachments, I mean that I still love him for who he is, not for who he was, but I love him as a person, not as my ex-boyfriend. He's the one relationship I've treasured and none of the rest can compare to, but I believe that one day who'll make me feel just as much, if not more.

 

On the other hand, the most iportant relationship I had when he was way older than me, it didn't end well. And I regret not because I was hurt, I really don't work like that -I get over people and circumstance way to easily- but because in the end he wasn't a good person.

 

I'm glad for your friend. It's not an easy thing to do that, it takes a lot of will and strength of character. If only my friends where like that too, they wouldn't be suffering that much:)

 

The whole cosmetic things sounds fun:))) I'm glad your cousin is being supported by his family. In Greece, getting grand parents to accept homosexuality is usually a herculian task.

[mangotango]

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Here's hoping we find those people ^^

 

rabbit8

 

Yeah I just admire him so much, for being so strong... I know for a fact I couldn't be that strong xD

 

Haha, when he tells us about it, we always laugh because he does this invisible mixing thing where he dumps all sorts of stuff together and mixes it up as he tells us the story, and we're like, "You should work for one of those fancy lotion companies!" But, instead, he's a chef, which is also good because he's amazing xD Aw, yeah I guess it depends on the grandparents... :/

[1978]

.......A side note: my friend, who read this recently and felt like I had somehow seen things through his eyes *hugs* mentioned that this could apply to all relationships in a way. Just replace some of the pronouns! I hadn't thought of this, but then I'm thinking... doesn't that sorta prove that love is universal, no matter if it is between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, etc?

 

 

 

Hands up , My 2 hands up!!!!

 

 

Yes, I do think like that , too!!!

 

 

Thanks a lot tagging me

 

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I do think too, why should be separated; I don't know why..................

 

 

 

rabbit6

[mangotango]

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*hugs* Thank you dear, and yes love is love! Yay! I only wish all people could agree with us, Star! :3

 

rabbit14

[NanaNtingki]

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You know, that's pretty much the same things my friend say to me all the time and one day I got really upset and told them that 'You know, it's not like I'm a rock, I too have problems and I need support' and it really did turn out that they thought of me as some creature that's come unscathed out of every bad situation I've ever been in.

I'm saying this because I really am glad you can see that his tries his best to be strong, because you've witnessed him struggle I'm sure, and come out of it and you don't take it for granted. I think this is the fourth time I'm saying this, but I'm glad when I see people being good and understanding towards their friends (personal traumas coming forth;P)

 

hahaha~ that sounds like fun! a chef? that's awesome! I like cooking but I'm no chef:(

[mangotango]

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But yes, he has seen me go through low points, and vice versa. I think it makes us closer friends? As cheesy as that sounds ^^; But I think it is true. We know that the other person can't be a rock all the time, for sure. And I'm sorry your friends did that... not fair to you at all!

 

Yes he is awesome! Although sometimes the food is a bit too spicy for me xD And by too spicy, it's probably perfect for other people... I just eat a lot of bland food I think haha! xD

[NanaNtingki]

@

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Not cheesy, not at all:) Simply awesome and true:)

 

Fair or not, I think it's part of their personalities. I mean most understood, some didn't. After that it's up to me to see who is suitable for me. I've putten serious thought into analysing the psychological factors that'd led me to choose as friends people weaker than I am. I've come to realise 'strange' patterns because of that.

 

I have a few friends that I share a very strong bond with, but I'm a loner. it's really hard to keep up with my moods and rhythms.

 

Ooooh~ I like mildly spicy food. It's aweeesome. Blunt? It's all a matter of habit, though. I decided to cut down on cheese and salt:)

 

You can start eating spicy foods;P

[mangotango]

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*nodnod* I have only a handful of close friends, other than my siblings/family. I moved around a lot growing up, so I never really got a chance to create really strong bonds with people outside my family, until I got a little older and we stopped moving. But since then, I've been able to find a few pretty cool and decent people, and I adore them xD

 

Haha yeah, I'm not big on spicy. Even when I get Thai food, I make sure to ask/tell them no spice, please xD

[rainbowman]

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:D Aw!

Yes, love is already difficult, and then when people try to influence one's love, it turns into a huge mess. I firmly believe people should be able to love whomever they choose. Shame on those who can't help but get in the middle and ruin love for others. >.

*hugs you* Yes, he is hopeful for the future. :3 Thank you! I will pass that along to him ^-^

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Love is something we give unconditionally, yes. And so our hearts choose the one who can enter it, people who often think otherwise mostly are those who had a heartbreak or had never loved someone before tehehe it's pretty useless to fight over such thing isnt it? For me, those who defy love are attention grabbers, people who think like kids and think they can become a hero one day. =='

[mangotango]

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AGREED! *hugs* I know people who think and act like kids... and not in the cute "aw" sort of way... in the annoying way xD

[rainbowman]

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haha yes there are many many perople who act that way. Iish not cute... not cute at all -_-

[NanaNtingki]

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Huh, I made it before the month passed;P :$:$:$

 

Hmmm... I didn't move around a lot, but... My personality just doesn't agree with most people; they usually tend to badmouth and attack me in a defensive manner. I only wany my peace of mind and don't really care about stuff like that, do I end up not paying any attention of them, which only seems to irritate them even more. (Seems like whatever I do is translated as an attempt to provoke them:/) As a result, I have very few friends I can say I trust to a certain degree, but I'm generally a person that doesn't trust ir gets involved easily.

 

Hmmm... So I get you wouldn't like the really hot mustard I bought the other day?