You are my only logic

March 6, 2013

Summary: She always dreamed to be like her father, a good chef and famous and to have her own bakery shop so when she read the announcement for the contest she couldn't wait and joined it hopefully she would win and work the job she always wanted to, and there she met him, arrogant and harsh man but is she able to work with him? Would she hate him?

Status: Completed

-------------------

Everyday in the morning at the same time she always enjoyed the sun lights reflecting on her window and feeling that warmth all over her room like it was warming her heart as well and that soft breeze fondling the trees leaves and making it dance in agile motions but in her house you can not just smell the air, there was another wonderful smell that was always around the house.. The smell of her baking.

She was an averge girl in everything, her length, weight and even beauty, she was in her twinties but she always loved to bake since she was young she failed alot but time by time she managed to get better and she chose to be a proffessional at baking when she is older and so she did. She learnt how to bake from her father because he used to work in a bakery and she used to taste the best sweets from his hands, she even called him the man with golden hands not because they were gold but because even though they were just human hands they were able to make the most amazing things and draw a smile on peoples face and that worthed gold because nobody can buy a smile, he was her teacher and her family.

Her mother died when she was 3 years old so she was not able to remember her face from her own memories but when she needed her she used to look at her mother's picture and talk to her feeling that she was near and taking good care of her. Her father used to tell her that she had her mother's eyes and her small hands and the amazing look in her eyes when she tasted something delicious.

She didnt know why she was remembering all of that but maybe it was because of her meeting to work in the most famous bakery in her twon and that she wanted something to use as a motive to do her best. She was nervous and scared but also confident, she was scared because she heard that the boss was very harsh and blunt and he did not accept people to work in his bakery so easily and he was the youngest chef in the town. His father was a chef as well and he was rich so he started so young and he disliked that his father was kind with the people he used to work with that was why he wanted to be more serious and he used to show no kindness specially at work or that what she used to hear about him.

Jane stood in front of her mirror clsoing the last button of her blue blouse that was a good match with her blue eyes and her black hair, she chose a colorful skirt had some blue in it to match her blouse, she let out deep sigh having last look at herself in the mirror before heading out to the bakery having great hopes and wishing not to fail. She left before the time by an hour because she had no car and the bakery was far away an hour by the bus. She stood in the bus station for 5 minutes before the bus arrived, she was good with the buses reaching times because she used to have the bus everyday to her work. She got on the bus whiel the thoughts were all over her mind, memories, hopes and fear.

After 45 minutes the bus arrived to her destination, she got off it and stood in front of the gates gazing at them and not feeling or hearing anything except her heart beats... They were so loud and her hands were trembling but she took deep breath and tried to collect herself because she needed to be confident and strong that day to make it. Slowly she stretched her right hand to push the doors and walking inside like she was opening the doors of new life

Jane's heart beats increased when she saw all of those people making the same taste.. A wedding cake. She thought what would she be in that number, she would be nothing. A decent calm voice interuptted her thoughts asking her why she was here so she looked up and told him that she was there for the test, he was a tall man with light brown eyes and brown hair and he seemed to be in the end of his twinties and she thought from the tone of his voice that he would be kind and decent but she was surprised when he talked to her "You better hurry and start your test now, i won't make an exception for anybody, you see those people? They are all here so early to start. Take that last table over there beside the window and i will check on you in few minutes" she waited until he finished and nodded heading to the place he told her to go to but thoughts appeared in her mind again while starting her test "Could it be him? He seems kind but the way he talks.. The look in his eyes.. I should focus on my cake" she shoke her head and started to put ingredients together concentrating and not paying attention to anybody else.

She always had her heart and her nose as her timer, she always had that sense when her baking is done, she took the cake out of the oven and put it on the table making the chocolate and whipped cream till the cake cool down but a slight tremble overrun her body and her hands when she heard his voice again, she didn't why that tremble knew its way to her body but maybe she was scared or worried from what he was going to say, she was the fastest one there but it didn't prevent him from inhibting her will. He got closer and dipped his finger in the chocolate sauce she was making and a slight smirk appeared on his lips "Don't you think it is very sugary? Haven't you ever maken chocolate sauce before? I hope you are not having so much confidence to win" Her sauce wasn't tasting bad but it was his way to force people to do his best and he thought he would see tears on her face and that would have amused him but he was surprised when she didn't get affected by his words "Why you think i won't be able to make it? Because you are good? It doesn't mean that there are not good people out there, maybe you are the one who should stop having so much confidence in him" she didn't why she said that even though deep inside she knew that she wanted that job, she wanted to be taught by him but she also knew that she had nothing to lose yet because she didn't work there yet, it was only a test.

He smiled and put his hands in his pockets leaving her finish her cake without saying another word but he liked how confident she was. The time was up and she wasnt late by any seconds, there on that table next to the window there was that chocolate cake with some whipped cream on the top and the sides and there near to the door there was him tasting everyones cakes and with every step he got closer, her heart beats got faster and louder till he was there in front of her cake cutting a slice of it and when he was having a bite of it she closed her eyes hoping that he would like it and accept her there. After tasting it a decent smile knew its place to his lips and without giving her a single sign of success, he left.

She washed her hands and and took off the white coat she was wearing having one last look on the place before leaving. After few days she received a letter from the boss of the bakery shop telling her that she was accepted. She was not able to describe her feelings at the moment because they were so much to be described in few words but all she could say that she was happy because her dream was coming true..

The first day at the work was the hardest maybe because she saw the side of the personality that people have always talked about.. The harsh personality. She used to wonder why he was so harsh.. Why he was so calm all the time and why he was always alone but she decided to stop wondering because it didn't concern her and she disliked that he was in her mind most of the time even though he was not nice to her at all. He used to yell and he never liked anything she made, he was seeking for perfection and it was not easy to achieve.

Even thought she decided not to look for answers, she found herself looking for answers in his eyes but he never gave her the chance to find them because he always avoided eyes contact but deep inside her she always felt that he had a kind heart behind that harsh features of his face or as it seemed. Everytime she looked at him she wished if she was close enough to wipe his worries away, if she could hold him close and touch the depth of his heart but she also kept wondering she she was caring that much but all she knew that she used to see his face every morning.. everyday even if he was going to yell even if he was going to inhibt her, she did not care all she cared about was seeing him and feeling him that close.

He was a dream for her to get close and to know him more, it was like catching the stares in the sky and she was content by watching him everyday from distance and with everyday was passing her feeling were growing deeper for him, she didn't know why she loved him maybe the mysterious aura that he had around him or the sadness in his eyes or maybe the kindness he held in his heart but never showed to anybody, she stopped seeking for an excuse for her love. She always believed it is not love if you found reasons for it.

After few weeks she was supposed to be the one who closes the shop at night so she had to be the last one to leave but she wasn't the only one that left there, there was the oldest baker that worked in that shop since the owner opened it and when it was not famous at all ... He was the best friend of the owner and the one who rose his son Jordan so he knew the secrets of the family because he was with them even before Jordan was born. It was very quiet when she grabbed her bag putting it on her shoulder and heading to the door of the bakery to lock it but slow steps stopped her nervously because she thought she was the only one there, she turned around carefully having slight fear in her heart but soon she took deep breath when she saw the old baker in front of her "Oh Mr Seth you scared me, i thought you have left already" he smiled at her tenderly "Did i scare you, miss Jane? Im sorry i am just used to leave the last even thought MR Jordan told me so manytimes to not stay but i'm always stubborn about it" he let out deep sigh then looked over at her "want me to drive you home? Its pretty late here", Jane smiled at him "I don't want to be a bother but if you insist i don't mind".

It was dark but the lights on the sides of streets were lighting the road enough to see and to feel quiet safe specially having Mr Seth driving her home "Mr Seth.. May i ask you a question?" Mr Seth nodded without looking at her paying his attention to the road "Of course miss Jane", she hesitated a little before asking her question but sooner she collected her courage and asked him "Do you know why Mr Jordan never talks to anybody? Why he is always quiet? Why he seems sad even when he smiles?" Mr Seth was very surprised she asked that and at first he didn't know if he should answer her or not, he let out deep sigh and had a serious look on his eyes for few seconds before answering her "Well, as you can see Jordan's father is a very kind man and a very forgiving one, he loved his wife so much even though she was arrogant and stubborn and only cared about money but he was at the begin of his life and he didn't want any help from his family but she couldn't be patient and left him to be with some rich man and that broke his heart but after few months she came back to him crying and asking for forgiveness, i told him not to believe her but he didn't listen because love was blinding him then his wife got pregnant and they stayed happy for one year till the big burn of the bakery happened and Jordan's father had to start over again then with that her complains appeared again and how much that she couldn't take the responsibility of her child so when Jordan was 2 years she just left and never came back. Sometimes i balme him for forgiving her and making Jordan suffer and knowing no meaning of having a mother, since he knew that his mother abandoned him he doesn't trust anybody you can say he doesn't trust women , he think they are all just like his mother and he thinks that forgiving people is just a weakness point so he doesnt want to have it but deep inside he has such a kind heart but only me and his father see that side of him" By the last word he said they reached to Jane's home, she turned to thank him "Thank you for bringing me home and thank you foranswering my question" He nodded slightly "It was my pleasure miss Jane but please keep the secret" she smiled "Dont worry about it" Then she closed the car's door getting inside her house.

Laying on her bed gazing at the ceiling letting her thoughts follow one by another like waves motion, it didn't matter how many times she tried to close her eyes to sleep she just failed, she shifted on her side to try once more but no use he was there.. In front of her eyes.. All over her mind and in the depth of her heart that it was so hard to erase his image like it was curved in her brain. She felt she was closer to him after knowing the secret of his sadness, it made her love him more not for pity but for the truth of him and her sharing the same thing of having no mother but his story was sadder at least her mother left her against her will not by her choice like Jordan's mother which made her feel his pain and understand his reasons for being harsh.

After few hours the sun rose and she didn't know for how many hours did she sleep or even if she didn't have any sleep at all but she was excited because she was going to see him, she hadn't see him for few days and she was missing him so badly so she wore a decent dress but it wasn't so colorful and wasn't so dark and headed to the bakery having so much hope to see him and talk to him. She arrived at the time like always and went to do her work but while she was busy baking the orders she had to do, he entered the kitchen and it felt like a soft breeze was touching the walls of her heart and she didn't even notice she was holding hot tray in her hand till it started to burn the skin of her fingers slowly so she dropped it on the nearest table to her picking some ice from the freezer to cool her fingers but sooner she felt the heat in her body and in her heart not in her fingers when his breathes were touching her forehead softly and his hand caressing her fingers to see what happened to them and for the first time she hear a new tone in his voice... Tone of kindness.

Jordan had a very serious caring look in his eyes "Miss Jane, you should pay attention to what you are doing, indeed i want hard workers but it doesn't mean to be careless and hurt yourself" he said that grabbing the ice from her hand softly to move it all around her fingers and she was just trembling and her heart was beating fast because he was that close but also she didn't want to waste a chance to get even closer "Mr Jordan..." she said that in low tone thinking if it was okay to tell him or not but his voice made her not able to know what was okay and what was not "Yes, miss Jane?" He said in decent calm tone, she hesitated a little before telling him what she knew "I know the secret of your harsh personality and the sadness in your eyes" Her words surprised him and it made him wonder how did she knew about it, he closed his fist on the bag of ice "I won't ask you how did you know because i guess a lot of people know about me already but i would ask why did you care to know? Why wondering about me" he asked with curious tone in his voice, Jane pulled her hand away gently "Caring..." anybody was able to sense the love that he voice held except him, her answer made him disturbed "Caring you say?! What is that? Is it a kind of a joke?!!! You don't c even know me to care about me, do i seem that pathetic or something? Or did i give you any sign that i would care about you or anybody here? Why can't you mind our own business?!!" he pushed her against the wall yelling at her that made slight fear sneak into her heart and looked at him in surprise before looking down but away then said in low tone close to whisper "I love you..." she couldn't look into his eyes while saying that but she felt the grip of his hands were getting weaker till he let go of her looking at her with so much curiosity and wonders in his eyes "Love me? Why?..." she rose her up alittle to look into his eyes "I have asked myself the same question so many times. Why you? But i never found an answer.. I just loved you from the first day i met you.. The way you talk.. The way you smile and the sadness in your eyes like they are a deep ocean even your scent.. It is like my favourite cake..The way you walk.. Just the way you are.. How can i find a reason for my love? Maybe you would follow logic when it comes to love but i don't.. Love knows no logic, you are my only logic" he was very confused of how much she was sure of her love towards him, how she didn't hesitate for one moment that maybe it wasn't love..He sighed "Im sorry miss Jane, i'm not the right person to fall in love with.. I can not give my heart to any woman so you are wasting your time and your precious feelings" He said that ready to leave the kitchen but her voice stopped him when he was at the door of it "I don't love you expecting you to love me back.. I have not told you about my feelings in an anticipation of your love, you just asked why i cared and i just answered your question.. I'm not wanting any returns to my love but oneday... Maybe oneday you will know how to open your heart again" He closed his eyes for few seconds and without even looking at her or even saying a word he just left...

Jane leaned against the wall while siting on the floor thinking about what just happened and she couldn't believe that she admitted her love to him but she made a promise to herself that she would teach him how to trust her.. How to open his heart to her and just let go.. She didn't mind how long she would wait to gain his trust or even to gain his love, she decided that she would always be by his side anytime he needed her without even asking for help.. She would help by just being there in front of his eyes.. And close enough to take good care of him even if she would remain a normal girl in the bakery shop.

For almost 6 months Jane kept ging to work not missing a day to go there, she wanted to see him everyday even if they weren't going to talk again but watching him was the only cure for her yearning. She coulnt count how many times she wished to hug him and to feel his breathes on her skin or even to feel the warmth of his lips on hers but for her they were just dreams and she wished if they could be true but how while he was refusing to open his heart, how when he avoided any single connection between himself and anybody. Deep inisde she hoped to be an exception but it was in her mind, why would he trsut a person he didn't know, why would he love, alot of questions she kept asking herslef but she always knew the answer.. He can not trust anybody...

Jane was always perfect at baking and since she fell for him her ability became even better and she was able to bake everything even the things she couldnt do perfectly but oneday while she was baking some pies for specail order Alice (23 years old women was wroking with her at the same bakery and she was the one who was supposed to help her that day) told her that Jordan will tarvel for few months to some country but she didnt know where exactly, Jane's heart started to beat up fast when she heard that and she frooze in her place without giving any reaction for what the other said and that made the other call her name for few times "Jane.. Jane...Jane!" Jane shoke her head and looked at the other "H-hm?" then she got back to her work and said in serious tone "Lets finish our work. I want to go back home early" Alice nodded and got back to work as well but even though Jane looked slike there was nothing affecting her, there was a alot going on in her mind and she felt like her chest was going to burn from longing and sadness and she thought that he couldn't let him go.. She wanted him to stay.. She was content by just watching him but now she wouldn't be able to watch him it was like her soul was grabbing out of her body.

Even though he never said a word and he never showed any caring after that day she confessed her love to him, her love was knowing its place into his heart although he never game himself a chance to think of it or even to ask himself why he used to miss her or why he used to keep watching her and knowing her news. Maybe he didn't know her that much but he noticed how caring and nice she was, he noticed it everytime she kept her eyes on him , he noticed the look she has in her eyes but he never talked to her again, he didn't know why but maybe he was scared to hurt her by his words.. His harsh words.. Yet he wanted to know her more and to talk to her, he wanted to see the color in her eyes, he wanted to see the words in them.

On the other side Jane was still working but her friend had to go home for emergancy so she told her to leave it to her, Jane looked at the watch that was up on the wall in front of her and it was 4 PM and she thought that she should finish fast because she promised her father to spend the rest of the day with him so she started to concentrate more on what she was doing, it was 5 Pm when the hard work was done and all the rest was the easy part and she thought that there was nobody around so she started to sing in decent voice not so loud and not so slow but she heard steps coming closer so he hid behind the door having small pan in her hand and once she noticed the shadow of the person, she hit him on the head slightly, she picked her phone to call someone to help her but low moans stopped her so she turned around to have a look at the person and it was... him.

Jane leaned agaisnt table staring at him feeling the heat in her cheeks and wondering what she should do, she got closer to him and tried to help him to stand up, finally his legs managed to carry him but he was slightly dizzy so he leaned against the nearest table to him "Who did you think?! nobody would peek in while someone is inside" Jane looked away but having her sight down "I'm sorry, i thought nobody was here so i got panicked and i never thought it would be you" He looked at the table "So are you done? Or you have to stay for more time now? you know that your shift ended one hour ago" he said without looking at her but for her she wanted to look at him how long it would take, she wanted to fill her eyes with his existence and her nose with his smell and her chest with his breathes so she rose her head up to steal few looks at his face "I'm almost done. I will be going soon" without even she notice it a slight blush appeared on her cheeks while looking at him but she was okay because she thought he wiouldn't look at her but sooner the slight blush became deeper when his eyes contacted her eyes and her heart beats became louder and faster, she forgot herself in his eyes.. she forgot the time.. she just sank into them.. For him it was weird and different he never saw such a look in someone's eyes... he never saw such love.. but he didn't want to give up into her..

He galanced away to let himself fell for her eyes "Anyway hurry and leave soon" he turned to leave the kitchen and she stood there watching him leaving for few seconds before following him and clutching his shirt from behind and she stepped closer to him that he can feel the warmth of her breathes on his back "Don't go...." She said that in low tone but close to begging, his eyes widened and frooze in his place from surprise, he never thought she would do that "go where?" he said wondering, Jane kept looking down still clutching his shirt "Don't travel.. " he was very surpised why would she care if he travled or not and he didn't know how to responde "J-Jane..." he said her name in wondering tone, she let go of his shirt but still having her eyes down "I know you dont know me.. I know i dont know you that well either but.. i do love you.. watching you was very enough but what should i do when you leave for months? I heard you might need an assistant.." she turned to face him and looked up at him into the eyes "Take me with you..." He looked at her wondering how should he answer her..

He let out deep sigh before holding her arms tightly and shaking her lightly "What do you want from me?! I was okay before you appear in my life!! I didn't care about anybody! I didn't regret a word i have said ! I didn't regret at action! But look at me now! I can't be in peace because of you! I can not think! I don..." he squeezed her arms while pulling her close to kiss her lips passionately without finishing what he was saying, he let his feeling speak for him for once. Her eyes widened at first but sooner she closed them slowly getting closer to him and laying her hands on his chest pressing her body against his and letting herself sinking into his passion, he pulled back after few seconds looking at her and wondering why he did that.. she looked up at him panting softly and trembling because for her it wasn't just a kiss.. It felt like his breathes and hers became one.... She wished if that moment would never end.

March 6, 2013

I love the story, it's really beautiful, especially how you described her thoughts, when she couldn't sleep even though she kept trying and the ending as well. Not to mention the way you built the characters, very beautiful. *_*

March 7, 2013

Thank you so much, i'm really glad you enjoyed it even though it is my first try but i might try and write more.

March 7, 2013