(Private RP) Another World <<syaoran-puu & Kotorichan>>

[Guest Kotorichan]

"But... No matter how much we both want it, I can never fully be yours..." Ceries blinked back tears. "How can you be happy with me knowing that..?" He hurt so much to think about that. No matter what he did, or how hard he worked... He would be forced to choose between Vaughn and his people over and over again, and he would always choose to protect his people.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Vaughn hugged him. How could he resist the man? He peppered him with kisses. “I love you.” More kisses. “I love you and I know what your like. I will always sacrifice myself for you and your people. My life has long belonged to you.”

 

He stroked his hair. “I love you Ceries. I live for you.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry..." He leaned into his touch. "I love you too Vaughn... So much." He looked up at him, his eyes still wet with tears. "It just hurts to have to constantly choose between you and my duties... Every time I think about how much I have to hurt you it feels like I'm being torn in two."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Vaughn frowned at that. “Am I the reason for Fluffy then?” He’d assumed it was Brenton and protection. But was Ceries protecting himself from.... him?

 

Bile rose in his throat that he had to push backward.

 

All he wanted was to bring Vaughn happiness. Never to bring him pain!

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries blinked in confusion, he had never even thought of that. "W-what? No of course not... That wouldn't make any sense." He shook his head. "No, it's all Brenton's fault." He looked away, trying to hide his uncertainty. If Vaughn hadn't been around then would he have just become Fluffy...? Would he have been happy with this? His face went pale at the idea and he felt sick. He clung to Vaughn's chest, pressing his face into the man's shoulder. "T-things would be so much worse if you weren't here."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Vaughn wrapped his arms around him.... but honestly? He felt suddenly uncertain.

 

Was he making things worse without even meaning to? Doubt shuddered through him until he felt like he might cry!

 

“I will be here as long as you need me. I love you.” With all my heart and soul!

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries went quiet for a moment, he could hear the uncertainty in Vaughn's voice.

"I-if you weren't here I might disappear completely..." He finally said softly. "If my entire life was just pleasing that man and trying to rule a country I'm unprepared for..." He took a shaky breath. "I don't think I could hold onto my sense of self... I might just let Fluffy take over completely..." He looked away. "I'm sorry... I know that's rather pathetic..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Stop! Stop thinking yourself pathetic when you’re the strongest person I know! You’ve done so much for your people. Sacrificed so much for them! I only regret that that bastard took your virginity so brutally. If I could.... if I could change one thing it would be that.”

 

Vaughn closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the others head. “I don’t want you to disappear. I don’t want Fluffy to rule. He’d.... he’d just let Brenton have his way and rule.... to be king.....”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries flinched slightly at the man's forceful tone. He blinked back tears and wrapped his arms around Vaughn's shoulders and hid his face in his neck.

"But what if that's for the best..?" He asked, his voice shaking. "I'm not the one prophecised to be a great king... He is... What if I'm hurting my country by getting in his way..? What if it's for the best for me to just... Disappear...?" All of his fears were just spilling out all at once.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“That could never be for the best. Even if he ended up getting.... I don’t know... more of a visible figure head? He’d only be good because you’re there. Guiding him. You’re the one who the people love. If they grow to love him too it will be because of you and you alone.” He kissed him. “If you don’t believe in yourself then believe in me. I know the truth.”

 

He nuzzled him. “I will spend the rest of my days. Loving you. Caring for you. Telling you.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries clung to the man, letting out a choked sob. "I don't want to be a failure..." He whimpered. "I don't want to let everyone down..."

He shut his eyes and tried to force himself to take a deep breath. He knew he couldn't let himself fall apart... He still had to hold himself together for dinner and for his... Meeting with Brenton.

"I'm sorry..." He finally said softly. "I think the stress is getting to me again..." He shakily pulled away. "Perhaps I should lay down until dinner..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“You’re not going to fail. Because your heart is true. But I do think you’re putting too much stress on yourself.” Maybe talking with Advyk would help? Vaughn really hoped so!

 

He pulled him back. “In a moment. Let me comfort you a moment, Ceries.” Vaughn carefully reaches to wipe the Prince’s eyes. “Talk to me? About your stresses. I might not be able to help but I can always listen to you. I will never judge you. I love all of you. Always.”

 

Vaughn frowned a moment. “Do you need help preparing for him....?”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries relaxed into the man's chest again... He felt so safe in his arms. He nuzzled into Vaughn's hand. "Thank you Vaughn... I love you too."

"It's just... I feel like there were so many things my father didn't have time to teach me, I don't feel ready to rule... I thought I had another year or so and I could go to him for advice during my first year as king..." He rested his head on Vaughn's shoulder. "So many people are depending on me... I'm scared of what could happen if I make mistakes while I'm still learning."

His cheeks flushed softly at the suggestion. "Ah... He told me to prepare before going to his room, I had planned to do that after dinner.." he looked away. "I wouldn't want to force you to help me with such a thing..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

He nuzzled him. Thoughtful.

 

“Perhaps Prince Advyk can aid you a little? Help you get your footing? But honestly? Even your father made mistakes. Even after years of doing it. It’s not about being perfect but standing strong and carrying on even when it gets bleak.” He offered. “You’re the strongest person I know. You can do this.”

 

Vaughn shook his head. “You’re definitely not forcing me.” Vaughn would do anything to help alleviate the others suffering.

[Guest Kotorichan]

"Perhaps... I'm sure he's learned a lot from watching King Elloi for so long." He blushed softly and gave a slight smile. "Thank you... I may need you to keep reminding me of that..." He leaned up and caught his lips in a light kiss.

He pulled away, blushing deeper. "If you wouldn't mind helping me... Although I can't do anything in return for you."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“I don’t need anything in return. I just... need to know that you’re safe and taken care of.” It would settle something in him. “Don’t fight him. Give him what he wants. When it’s over. I’ll come to your room. Mine has been moved now. So I’m closer.” Vaughn smiled.

 

Leaning in he nuzzled him. “I’ll just hold you if you need me too. Or apply the ointment. I do t need sex to be happy. I just need you safe.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries clung to him, relaxing at the man's words. "Okay... I'll try..." He smiled slightly at the news that Vaughn's room had been moved. "Thank you Vaughn."

He looked away again, his cheeks flushing. "I'll do my best to... Satisfy him as quickly as possible.." he glanced up at Vaughn. "Would you bring me a snack and some juice that we can share afterwards..? Tea might get cold again..." He rested his head on the man's shoulder. "Just... Something to help me relax..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Of course I can. I’ll run you bath when you return too. Help you in it and gently wash you. Whatever you need.” Vaughn smiled. “Do I have permission to enter your rooms without you?” He asked gently.

 

Vaughn really hoped that Brenton didn’t hurt Ceries or Fluffy too badly.

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries blushed deeply and smiled at the man. "Thank you. You are more than welcome to enter my chambers." He leaned up and lightly kissed the man. "Could I lay down before dinner...? And... If it isn't too much trouble would you lay with me for awhile..?"

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Thank you.” The shifter smiled.

 

He blushed, “you don’t need my permission to nap. Sorry I stopped you earlier.” Vaughn let him go and nodded. “My honour.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries shook his head quickly. "Please don't apologize...I'm glad that you stopped me." He smiled shyly. "I wouldn't have been able to get to sleep when I was so upset." He stood up and offered Vaughn his hand.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Vaughn nodded and nuzzled him. “I love you. I only want the best for you.”

 

He rose, stealing a kiss before opening the door for him.

 

Maybe if Ceries slept a little things wouldn’t appear so.... hopeless?

[Guest Kotorichan]

"Thank you Vaughn... I love you too..." Ceries smiled slightly. He leaned into the kiss for a moment before breaking away and walking to his room.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Vaughn followed, entering the man’s rooms and locking the door behind them. “Lie down.... where do you want me?”

[Guest Kotorichan]

Ceries slipped off his robe and lay down in just his underclothes, snuggling under the covers. "May I pet you in your cat form?" He asked softly.