(Private RP) The Peace Exchange <<syaoran-puu & Sosuke0549>>

[Sosuke0549]

Ciel was greatful to hear Rory accept his apology. Those it really ment nothing since there was no way he could undo the damage that's already been done. 

[ “am…. Am I f-free to go?” ]

 

"Oh- yes of course...you are not a prisoner here...and you are free to go at any time..." He slowly stood and ran a hand through his hair frustrated. He glanced over to his son, who was whipping the blood from his forehead. He hadn't moved. 

"I release you." He ordered, freeing him from his obedience. Luc nodded and slowly stood up, keeping his head low. Ciel looked back at Rory and could sense the tension raiding from his body. He cleared his throat. 

"I'll excuse myself...Luc...when Rory is ready to leave, can you escort him to the train station or the nearest town. Make sure he gets there safely..."

"Yes..."

"Very well...if you'll excuse me..."

 

And with that, Ciel left the room. Now it was just him and Rory. 

 

[ “Y-you…. Y-you look rather injured, L-Lord Luc….”]

 

"I'm fine...and don't call me that.." He muttered. He held his side, trying to hide the fact that James broke one of his ribs. He kept his distance from the human, leaning aginest the wall.

[ “I hope you heal quickly….” ] 

 

It was hard to be around Rory. It felt like they were worlds apart....and he wouldn't blame the human if he never wanted to see him again... or a Hellsin for that matter. 

 

"I'm sorry....for everything...." His apology was genuine...you could hear it in his voice. To think...James succeeded in breaking them up...hurt Rory behind his back....he had promised to protect him...and yet...he failed miserably. 

[syaoran-puu]

Rory couldn’t help but feel relief that he wasn’t being held a prisoner. The problem? Where am I even meant to go? Do I go back to the hunters? Try to run away again? But I have literally nothing now…. I guess I have to go back. My belongings and money are there…. But there will questions. Fuck! This isn’t going to end well! I doubt I’ll be leaving in one piece. Double Fuck….

His thoughts were rather turbulent and violent right now. Rushing around so fast that it was hard to focus! He had a headache.

Rory’s eyes widened when Ciel told him that Luc was going to be the one escorting him out. He gulped, but didn’t argue, just nodding roughly. After learning what he had…. He wasn’t even sure what to think anymore! James…. He did so much damage. What am I even meant to do with that? “T-thank you, Ciel…..” He wouldn’t be rude to the vampire, he didn’t deserve it.

Yet…. Alone with Luc? He didn’t know how to feel about that either. Wincing when he was asked not to call him Lord Luc, he stuttered out an apology; “s-sorry….” He didn’t know what he should call him then. Luc felt wrong and Kaname was too intimate. Besides! They weren’t a thing anymore. I should just leave quickly. He doesn’t even want to look at me anymore. Not that I blame him…. Even if it wasn’t on purpose, I hurt him too.

Rory opened his mouth to speak, but Luc beat him to it. The apology was actually…. Comforting. Rory could tell it was genuine.He looked at the vampire. There was clearly blood everywhere, and Rory didn’t like it. Olive branch time…. Maybe? Taking a breath he nodded, “I… thank you. I’m really sorry too. I never intended to hurt you either.” He cleared his throat; “if you’ll allow it…. I can help you clean up the blood before I go.” No bloody clue where I’m going to go though. I don’t want to go back to the hunters…. But I probably have to. “I won’t be offended if you’d rather I didn’t come near you though….” He’d understand. Things were messy, and Luc still wouldn’t even look at him!

Sighing, he shifted to the edge of the bed, shaking slightly as he got to his feet. At least I didn’t wet myself like when I was a kid. He hugged himself slightly, chewing his lip and looking at the floor as he just waited to see what Luc had to say. 

[Sosuke0549]

Why was this...so hard?

“I… thank you. I’m really sorry too. I never intended to hurt you either.”

And yet...that's all they ever did to each other. If love was suppose to be peaceful...why was there's so torturing?

[ “if you’ll allow it…. I can help you clean up the blood before I go.” ]

Luc shook his head. He cleared his throat and fixed his posture, his forehead already healing.
"It's fine...you don't have too...frankly...you've already been through enough.."


 [ “I won’t be offended if you’d rather I didn’t come near you though….” ]

" I didn't think you'd want to..." He said, finally looking at Rory.


He help wondering what a life would be like with Rory...if James had never intervened. Would they have gotten through the tough times...there differences....would he have turned Rory....

[syaoran-puu]

Rory wished he could believe that… but in the heat of moment… Luc’s instinct had been to use obedience on him to keep him silent as he took what he wanted without a care for what Rory wanted. In truth? “I have no idea what I want anymore…. I’m just…. Numb.” He shrugged. He’d not push to help Luc if he didn’t want him to. He wasn’t about to beg! The olive branch hadn’t been accepted. Not that he blamed the vampire.

“I offered.” He shrugged. “You didn’t accept. That’s the end of that.” Rory looked awkwardly around the room. He felt so unwelcome and unwanted. Pretty much how I feel every where I go these days.

”I guess if you don’t want or need my help, I should just go. Get out of all your hair. Sure you have better things to do than babysit the failed hunter.” He tried to laugh but it sounded so awkward and shaky. He wasn’t certain he knew what he was doing anymore! “Though… you really don’t have to take me anywhere. I can figure it out.” I’ve gotten fairly good at being alone. It was actually hard accepting help now, accepting help came with a catch! One he didn’t often want to pay… alone was safer and cheaper. Besides…. Where was he even going to go? He’d figure it out.

Still, he paused briefly. “You know… it’s silly… but part of me always wondered what would have happened if I had opened the door that day at the hotel. Guess we’ll never know now.” He shrugged lightly. Unsure why he was telling Luc that now.

”Thank you.” He finally said. Looking up at him, he offered him a soft, yet sad smile. “For letting me touch your life briefly.” He’ll probably forget me though. I’m not memorable. “Look after yourself…. Luc.” He said the guys name, no title, no endearment, just plain and simple. He just wanted so badly to erase the pain and chasm that had grown between them, but it was too much! Wasn’t it?

[Sosuke0549]

[ “I have no idea what I want anymore…. I’m just…. Numb.”]

Luc could very much relate to those words. Numb...

The night they slept together...was a day he still deeply regretted. He had lost control. He didn't mean to bite Rory... or use obedience on him...his instincts just...took over. He had never been with a human before...clearly.

"Numb...indeed..."

Luc couldn't help but notice how Rory seemed to become bitter about not accepting his help. Curious...Luc took a peek into Rorys head, reading his thoughts...and when he heard him belittle himself.... he sighed underneath his breath.

So it's true...some things really don't change...
Luc grinned alittle, shaking his head.

It was hard to love someone who hated themselves.

[ ”I guess if you don’t want or need my help, I should just go. Get out of all your hair. Sure you have better things to do than babysit the failed hunter.”]

"...I'm not even sure if I should even bother correcting you..."

Rory tried to laugh off the insult. But it was evident how much the human hated himself.
" I always hated that about you....how you talk about yourself....how you hate youself....how you could never see...what I saw..."

[ “Though… you really don’t have to take me anywhere. I can figure it out.” ]

"We brought you back to our family Villia up in the mountains....you will need someone to bring you back. The nearest town is over a 100 miles away. "

[ “You know… it’s silly… but part of me always wondered what would have happened if I had opened the door that day at the hotel. Guess we’ll never know now.” ]

Luc heard this....and he felt tightness in his chest. It hurt him when the human just shrugged everything off as if nothing mattered anymore.

Before he could even respond Rory thanked him.

[”Thank you. For letting me touch your life briefly. Look after yourself…. Luc.”]

He said his name....just his name...and hearing that...it felt right. No title...just his name.

"You didn't touch my life briefly...you were the reason I was simply living in it. " He looked at Rory...meaning every word.
"If you would of opened that door at the hotel...I would of begged for your forgiveness....I would of embarrassed you...kissed you....and moving forward....I would of worked harder...to keep you in my life..."
He shook his head, looking down at the ground.
"Even when I went into slumber....I couldn't forget about you...I would often dream and  reminiss about our childhood...before things got so bad....Since the day I met you...I have never been able to get you off my mind..." He smiled softly.
" The plan was to stay in slumber...for about 75 years...so when I awoke...you'd no longer be here...and my hope for you...was that you lived a better and normal...human life...without me...That you were better off..without me. "

[syaoran-puu]

Even socially awkward Rory could see this wasn’t going well! Between his own rambling and Luc’s brief replies. The wall between them was obviously too thick and impenetrable, supported on both sides. He wasn’t even sure there were any cracks! No way through it or back. His heart actually ached just standing here.

Hearing the Luc hated it when he belittled himself he sighed; shrugging. “Hard to think you’re worth much when everyone around you shows you that you’re not.” He muttered. Luc had constantly told him they weren’t equal. The hunters often told him he wasn’t really one of them. The orphanage had belittled and mocked him. The children at school had been cruel. The professionals told him he was delusional and lying. Without his parents no one had truly cared as he grew up. Young Rory had taken quite the mental beating. He had thought he’d changed a little over the last five years, but being back here now… he was slipping back into bad habits it seemed. “Sorry….” Was all he could say. Hearing the man you secretly still loved hated a big part of you sucked.

“The mountains…. A hundred miles….. fuck.” He ran a hand down his face. He would have asked if another could take him… but Ciel was clearly mourning, he couldn’t stand James, Olivia was James partner and he didn’t want to see her, he didn’t really like being around flirty Bastian…. So that only really left Luc. Defeated he just nodded; “very well then….” It wasn’t like he had any money to travel that far. And no places to work or make money on the way would stop him too! He’d need to eat. He’d need to rest.

Despite himself, he felt tears bubble up in his eyes as he listened to Luc talk about what he would have done if he’d opened the door. Sounds nice…. Better than what truly followed. Yet, it hurt to know that Luc had wanted to sleep so he’d wake up with him gone. Maybe I should just take my own life and be done with it. Save everyone further pain and misery. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d considered it, though he’d always felt like he was holding out for something! Now? He wasn’t so sure there was anything left. No one would truly miss me. Kaname…. Luc had wanted to wake in a world without me.

It hurt. A lot!

“I get that…. Before my parents died…. Everything was just…. Easier.” He sighed, finally looking back towards Luc. He looked so different, skinnier and more gaunt than before. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed him, even if I was fighting it. I always imagined him moving on and just living without me…. But he didn’t? Rory wasn’t sure how to process that. Maybe this will give Luc some closure? Maybe at least he can be happy?

Rory desperately wanted to say more…. But he wasn’t sure what or how to say it! He wanted…. Wanted…. Ugh! He didn’t know! Everything was so messy and confusing right now. Like walking waist deep through mud on a misty morning.

Needing a distraction, he lifted up the sandwich and took a bite.

 

[Sosuke0549]

Luc sighed underneath his breath. He wished Rory saw what he saw. He wished he could go back and time...change things. Fix things. Save him. 

 

He listened as he spoke but didn't interrupt. When he saw Rory reach for the sandwich and start to eat, he smiled softly. 

"..We can leave tomorrow morning if you want...and if you need more food or anything at all...just call for me. Help yourself to whatever is in the house. You have a bathroom in this room...everything should be in there if you want to take a bath. "

 

He pulled himself off the wall he was leaning on and headed for the door, but before he left he turned back and looked at Rory. 

"When I went into slumber....I did it because living in a world without you being with me...seemed...unbearable...I didn't...I couldn't...do that again...I ment every word I said...you are my reason for living...and since the day I met you...you've never once...left my mind.."

He closed the door behind him...but something seemed to land on the floor, slipping for Luc's pocket. 

 

If Rory went to retrieve it, he would pick up a old folded photo of him and Luc when they were children. Both of them playing in the snow and laughing, still full of innocence. Back then...they were inseparable. It was a picture Luc had carried with him all his life...

[syaoran-puu]

Rory wasn’t even sure what time it was! It might be too late for them to go now he realised, so simply nodded. “Okay…. Tomorrow then….” He wasn’t sure he’d sleep! It felt so surreal being here…. And knowing James was here too? It didn’t sit well with him. He wanted to leave… thought time to make a plan wouldn’t harm either. He’d handle it.

Part of him was glad that Luc didn’t try to touch him right now. He wasn’t sure he could cope with that! Not yet at least. His chest felt tight as his heart raced.

His eyes moved to look at the door he predicted was the bathroom. A bath sounded nice…. But? Did he really want to get naked in this house right now? He was unsure. Everything seemed so messy! He was so confused!

Rory’s mind was drifting a moment as Luc started leaving…. Until the man spoke again….

Those words! Fuck! Those bloody words! They blew him away!! He couldn’t help the silent tears that began streaming down his face. He gasped and wiped roughly as he tried to compose himself. Stop being a crybaby!

Rory didn’t really understand Luc! How could he say those words so easily!? Didn’t he know how unfair they were on him! He opened his mouth, but honestly? What did one say in reply to that? He saw something drop from Luc’s pocket as the man left, while not instantly moving to touch it he couldn’t resist in the end. Picking up the piece of paper his curiosity got the better of him as he opened it…. Only to gasp. He couldn’t actually believe what he was holding! He… he kept this? On his person? Why? Because…. Because he meant it? His words….. he claims I’m his reason to live…. His father said he just lost control…. But how can I trust him? Rory had to wonder if he would have if it hadn’t been James who spoke to him in the hospital. He’d been so scared and yet worried about Luc at the same time. He still had nightmares too. Twisted images of his parents dying. James eyes. Vampires biting something only for him to watch as it transformed to Luc being ripped apart. It hurt every time. He couldn’t escape his fate it seemed. He kept being drawn back here. To him. To Kaname.

James had done so much damage. Brought so much pain. Destroyed his life. Destroyed him! The person he was No was formed so much by the harsh reality of his life. Yet? This picture…. If his parents hadn’t died…. Would they have stayed happy and just naturally grow up together? Was that even possible? Was Luc hoping they could go back to that?

You're not my equal, Rory. Luc’s words rang in his head. The ache of his hip started too, the phantom pain was very real to him. Yet…. He strangely felt safer here than he had with the hunters. Is it because he’s here?

Rory put the photo down on the table, moving and locking the bedroom door. He knew it wouldn’t stop anyone, but he hoped he’d at least get some warning. He felt weary and tired as he moved to the bathroom, chewing his lip as he looked at the delicious looking tub. He really wanted a bath! Chewing his lip he looked around then to the door…. He was exhausted, a bath might be nice? Right? He moved and locked the bathroom door, a silly thing again but he couldn’t help it. Running a bath as he sat on the edge just thinking. I’ll move the bedding onto the floor, sleep with my back against the wall…. Or maybe under the bed would be better? Actually…. In the bathtub! I can lock two doors. Yes. I’ll dry the tub and sleep in here.

When the bath was done he turned off the water and looked around again before striping off and climbing in. It felt strange being here! Tucking his legs to his chest he just sighed. Mulling this all over was driving him crazy! Was he meant to just take Luc back? Was he meant to walk away? Was he meant to forgive James? Was he meant to mourn Luc’s mum? Was he meant to just leave? Was he meant to go back to the hunters? It wouldn’t end well. But he had no money or belongings. Nothing. He wasn’t experienced in much, so a small job was all he’d manage to get. Until he was found again. Wait! What! That’s right… The Hunters found me last time I ran away. How? My phone! Shit!

Jumping from the bath he looked around for his phone. Grabbing a towel he looked in the other room…. Nothing! Shit! He didn’t want the Hunters to come here! He had to hope that his phone had been discarded or abandoned at the hunter house…. It couldn’t be here! “L-Luc?” He called, starting shaky but getting stronger, Rory was looking rather bedraggled and still soaking wet from the bath. He was wrapped in a towel, which under any other circumstance would freak him out! But he was too busy with his current thinking to even process that! “Please tell me my phone isn’t here….” He muttered as he waited, running a hand down his face. Rory didn’t dare leave the room, though he did open the door to wait, wide eyes waiting for Luc.

[Sosuke0549]

It had been so long since he heard his name come from Rory's lips.... The moment he heard him whisper Luc appeared before Rory's bedroom door. He waited patiently, a little stunned by the humans appearance. He was soaking wet, with nothing but a towl covering his lower half....and the scars...he couldn't help but gaze at his scars. He quickly turned his head away, "You needn't worry... your phone was discarded before we arrived here..." 

He bit his lip, meeting Rory's eyes. It had been so long since he'd seen the boy...so vulnerable. 

[I]You're so cruel to me.[/I] He thought to himself. 

"You should dry off...before you catch a cold..."

[syaoran-puu]

Rory had seen the look, most had it when they looked at his scars. He would claim he was used to them… but he wasn’t. He tried to cover up using his hands, but even Rory knew it was pointless. Just focus on what needs to be done…. It’s not like Luc gives a shit about you or what you look like. You’ll be left alone again soon enough. You always end up alone. It was sad but true. Even surrounded by people, Rory felt alone. He didn’t belong anywhere! The humans didn’t understand him. The hunters didn’t need him. The vampires saw him as beneath them. Rory once more felt like he belonged no where. An enigma without a true home…

Now wasn’t the time to feel sorry for himself. Now wasn’t the time to contemplate such things.

Rory almost asked how Luc knew why he’d wanted his phone, but recalled once more that he was a vampire who could read thoughts. Nothing remains private here. Still, he took a deep breath and sighed in relief. “Good. I don’t want them to use me to hurt anyone else.”

Blinking at Luc’s next words his eyes widened, embarrassment flooding him as he looked away. Shame and self-loathing ripples through him as he turned and rushed back to the bathroom without a word.

Rory couldn’t help the moisture in his eyes. He tried to keep his thoughts quiet, to not think about how he hated his reaction or how part of him died inside that Luc was so distant and uncaring. Not my Kaname. Never mine again. It’s best I remember that.

His clothing was dirty but at least it covered him as he quickly got redressed and hung up the towel. Rory didn’t expect Luc to stick around, why would he?

Heading into the bedroom he tried to mull over what he should do next… am I even free to leave? Where am I going to go? How will I even figure my shit out this time? Rory took a breath, running a hand down his face.