(Private RP) Romance is Dead <<syaoran-puu and Kotorichan>>

[Guest Kotorichan]

"There's a place to talk to the dead..?" Izel asked, his eyes widening. "Does that work for everyone or just the people that used to stay here..?" He was curious to talk to those people, sure, but he was more interested in trying to talk to his mom. Even if it was just a one-time thing, he wanted a chance to say goodbye...

 

He gave up squirming when it became clear the man wasn't going to let him down, instead just laying still with a slight pout. "Grandchildren..? You mean back on earth? Hades told me he can't create life..."

 

He frowned as the man explained everything, it really was starting to sound like Hades just wanted someone by his side... Maybe he had been telling the truth about not needing it to be sexual? Izel felt his chest tighten it guilt. It was bad enough that he had lashed out at the man who had been nothing but kind to him... Now it was becoming clear that Hades was just lonely and needed a friend, and Izel was trying to keep him at arms length.

 

He winced slightly as he was set down in front of the door, but the pain in his hips had subsided a bit. "Wait." He called out at the man turned to leave. "Um... Thanks..." He looked away, pushing his hands into his pockets. "I'm Izel by the way..."

He hesitated for a moment, lightly chewing his lip as he thought. He wanted to apologize to Hades, but he didn't think he had the courage to do it to his face. "if I use the ring to call Hades, will he hear whatever I'm saying..? Or does he just kinda get the feeling I'm calling for him..? Like, can I call him and tell him it's not really an emergency and he can just come whenever he's free?"

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Anyone. But the temptation to never want to leave is great. Especially the more you use it. Some became obsessed with it.” Jordon shrugged. “I think when one of the humans refused to move away from it.... Hades was forced to hide it for a time. But it’s been hundreds of years since then, I think it’s returned to its original position.”

 

Jordon frowned, “they weren’t Hades.... “ he wasn’t sure why he’d think that. Then again, when you knew the truth it was hard to see someone else’s view. “Sometimes people already had children when brought here. They would have been given the same decision as you, I suppose? He can be very persuasive.” Jordon shrugged. “Everyone is near death. I guess they just weren’t ready to die.”

 

Stopping when requested he looked back at him. He considered a moment. “I think he can hear you? But maybe if he’s talking to someone....? Maybe he misses stuff? I don’t know if I honest. Phury would know. He’s called him most.”

 

Eyed him. “He will come if he’s able to.” He looked to the guys ring finger. “Do you not like it here?”

 

“I’m Jordon.” He said before walking away.

[Guest Kotorichan]

"I just want to use it once..." Izel murmured. If he could just have a couple minutes to ask if his mom knew about his grandmother and then say goodbye properly... That would be enough. He didn't want to tell her about how much he had suffered since she died, or how he always blamed himself... That wasn't necessary.

"I guess that makes sense, most people don't want to die so if they were given another option..." He shrugged. "Seems pretty cruel to back out the moment it stops being to your benefit..."

He blinked in surprise at the question. "What? No... I just wanted to... Talk..." He couldn't even being himself to admit that he needed to apologise.

He sighed as Jordon walked off and went back inside. He grabbed one of the sketchbooks and sat down on the couch to draw. He worked quietly for a couple hours, trying to put together an apology letter that he could actually bring himself to give to Hades. He knew he wasn't going to be able to say the right words outloud, and a letter was better than nothing.

Finally he finished it and put it in a makeshift envelope made from a second piece of paper. He stared at the paper for a few moments before gathering his courage and touching the ring. "Hades? I have something to give you when you have a minute..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Once? Brings the temptation of twice.” He warned. Jordon watched him. “Ask Hades. I won’t get in trouble.” He grumbled, rather anxious about it so lashing out.

 

“Your guess would be better than mine. I just assumed they couldn’t stand immortality? Mortal creatures get spread too thin. They’re always meant to expire.” He said simply.

 

With a shrug he left Izel to his own devises.

 

———

 

Hades kept busy. Leaving his home he went to the wall of souls. Sitting beside it and just listening to the whispers. Had he made the right decision bringing Izel here? Maybe he should have walked away like he had over the last years of emptiness.

 

But that smell! Was that his grandmothers gift? A way of trying to protect her brethren? There was only one way to try and find out. Her bottle....

 

He heard a tingle. Heard Izel’s voice. Did he wish to leave already? So be it.

 

Getting to his feet he teleported to the man. He remained standing, just watching him. He didn’t speak, not trusting himself not to make things worse. But he knew he’d not stop him leaving if that was his wish.

 

Looking at him now, he realised his ears and tail were bigger.

[Guest Kotorichan]

Izel knew he should talk to Hades about it first. He couldn't help but wonder if his status as a demi-god would allow him to tolerate immortality...

----

By the time Hades arrived his ears were fully grown, and his tail was about two feet long, but Izel had been too preoccupied to notice the change.

He looked up at Hades when the man appear. He hesitated for a moment, his ears lowering as he searched for any sign of anger in the man's expression.

All of his life experiences were telling him not to trust to the man, not to show any vulnerability by giving him the letter.

But he forced the feelings down, he had no reason to distrust Hades specifically... And if this didn't work out then he would just die and not have to suffer anymore.

The man's silence made him a bit nervous, it made it harder to tell what he was thinking... Finally Izel rose to his feet and held the envelope out. "Here. Read this." He said firmly, although his cheeks flushed as he spoke. "Not here though, go somewhere else..." He looked away.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Hades frowned at the letter, turning it over and back a few times in curiosity. “What is it?” He looked up at the man.

 

“If you wish to leave, Izel.... it is possible that now your powers have awoken you’d be able to return to the human world and continue your life where you left off.” The letter had to be a good bye? They always where. How many times had he read the ‘it’s not you’ speech?

 

He looked to Izel again. “Your wars and tail are longer.” He realised his ears were down too. Was he that upset? “I did not mean to upset you....” however he had managed it. “I’ll leave you to your peace.”

 

He teleported home. Sat on his bed he eyed the letter a moment before deciding to just get this over with! He opened it....

[Guest Kotorichan]

"That's not it... I just... Just read it!" Izel glanced up at him, his face getting redder. "Please..."

He sighed in relief when Hades disappeared again and sat down to draw again. He played a movie on his laptop as he did, wanting to keep his mind off the possibility that he was making things.

---

The margins of the letter were filled with an intricate drawing of a snake curling around the page, the pattern on the snakes scales looked like roses. The style looked the same as Izel's tattoo.

 

The letter itself read:

"Hades,

I'm bad at talking so I'm just going to write this.

I'm used to getting hurt, and it's always worse when someone I trusted hurts me. You haven't done anything wrong, you've been really nice and I enjoy your company. That doesn't undo the past decade of my life. I'm gonna expect you to hurt me no matter how nice you are.

Maybe if you want to keep me around for long enough that'll change... But right now I don't know if I can be what you want. I won't blame you if you want to find someone else to replace me.

I don't want to leave. I like it here. I like being around you.

I'm sorry I lashed out, I'm gonna try to control that better but I can't make any promises.

-Izel"

 

The words had clearly been written and rewritten, there were faint marks from words that had been erased.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

This letter seemed important to Izel.

 

He frowned before the intricate snake patterns caught his attention. Why had he picked snakes? They were gorgeous though. The little scale and rose details were mesmerising.

 

The words of the letter brought him pause. Izel thought he’d get rid of him so easily? Had he not shown he wouldn’t? But he could tell this letter had been started and changed a lot. “You didn’t want to say the wrong words?” He frowned at that. “Poor kid. He’s really been hurt....”

 

Instead of going in purpose, he sent a letter back. Black paper with white writing. A white wax seal with the underworld symbol upon it. The letter appeared on the coffee table, just waiting to be read.

 

Inside the message was simple,

 

Izel,

I have never asked anyone to leave. I won’t start now. You’re not just a thing to be replaced. I won’t start now. If you’re lonely, I can find find someone else to give you company. You don’t need to see me if you don’t wish it. But you can if you want to. I never lied about that.

 

I have enjoyed your company immensely also, and if this is all you see fit to gift me, it will have to be enough. I will cherish it.

 

No matter your decision, I will find a way to help you with your powers still. There has to be some information around, if we’re smart enough to seek it. I can ask Phury to teach you to fight if you’d rather it wasn’t me.

 

You have more power and control than you think. I will not force myself upon you.

Hades.

[Guest Kotorichan]

Izel jumped when he noticed the letter, quickly pausing the movie. "How long has that been there..?" He wondered aloud before picking it up reading it.

Hades' gentle reassurances made his chest hurt again. He was too nice... It made Izel want to completely give in to his kindness, to tell him to forget about the "no romance" rule.

He leaned back in the couch, shutting his eyes for a moment as he tried to get himself under control. He kept imagining what it would be like if things worked out... If he let himself open up to Hades and allowed the man to care for him. How nice would it be to fall asleep and wake up together? To feel safe in his arms...

Izel's eyes snapped open again, his cheeks flushing at his own thoughts. He was being stupid. Hades was a God who had probably been around for longer than Izel could even imagine. Even if Izel did open up and even if things worked out perfectly... It wasn't going to last. Eventually Hades would get bored of him or find someone fresh and exciting. Even humans lost interest in Izel after a few weeks, there was no way he could keep Hades attention for long...

He rubbed his eyes, not wanting to let that thought get to him.

He'd try to relax around Hades and not be too agressive... Try to trust that the man didn't have any I'll intent... But he couldn't let himself get too attached. If he got too close than even an accidental betrayal would be crushing. He already felt that it would break his heart if Hades purposefully turned on him.

After a few minutes he felt that he had finally gotten himself sorted out. He glanced down at the sketchook in his hand but decided against writing another letter... He had already done the hard part. He turned off the laptop and set aside the sketchbook before touching his ring. "Hades? We can talk now... If you're not busy..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

When Hades didn’t immediately get a response he frowned. Of course he’s not going to respond. He thought bitterly.

 

He teleported to the God jars. His fallen brethren. There were inside a cave. No entrances. No windows. Shelves carved into the very rock itself. Rows upon rows of them.

 

He found the one he wanted. A small purple light flowed from within. Over the millennia many of the lights had extinguished, their powers released and reformed elsewhere. Some continued to hold on and longer. It seemed Izel’s grandmother was one such soul, of course, she was also one of the youngest deaths here. He went to touch the jar when he heard Izel’s call.

 

He hesitated a moment then gave in. Teleporting to the same spot as before and waiting to be invited to sit. Purple eyes shine slightly. He noticed the opened letter. It seemed he had at least read it.... or maybe at least just opened it? Who knew which.

 

“Is everything okay, Izel? Do you require something?” Surely he just needed something. Everyone always seemed to need something from him.

[Guest Kotorichan]

Izel hesitated for a moment before rising to his feet and silently hugging the man. He buried his face Hades' chest, his cheeks pink.

"I don't need you to find someone else to be my friend, or to teach me to fight." He finally said quietly. "I said I like being around you. It would just be more stressful if I had to deal with someone new... It's not hard to trust you it's hard to trust anyone."

He took a deep breath, unable to work up the courage to look at the man. "I just need time..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Hades was surprised at the action. He wasn’t entirely sure how to react. He hadn’t spent a lot of time around men of this century.

 

Slowly he held him back. Carefully stroking his back.

 

Hades nodded, “I have an abundance of time.” All the time you’ll ever need.

 

“Jordon told me you two bumped into each other and you got injured.... are you okay?” He asked quietly, almost afraid of the reaction.

[Guest Kotorichan]

Izel blushed deeply at the question. "Oh..." He slowly pulled away, a bit reluctant. He found Hades' touch so relaxing... It was strange "I'm still kinda sore from last night... So when I fell it just made that worse... I'm fine now though."

He sat back down on the couch, careful with his tail. "When he was... Helping me back here he also mentioned that there's a way to talk to people who have died..." He trailed off, glancing up at Hades to try to gauge his reaction.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“You’re that sore? Why didn’t you say? Do you need me to heal you?” He offered, clearly concerned. Was he that large?

 

He frowned at the mention of a ‘way’. “You talk of the mirror?” Hades looked away. “Your grandmother is not there. I am trying to figure out a different way to speak with her.... but it’s more dangerous than the mirror.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

"I didn't know you could heal me..." Izel admitted. "I'm used to worse, this is just because it's been awhile..."

He hesitated for a moment before lightly patting the space on the couch next to him. "Wanna sit down?" He offered.

"I, uh, wasn't going to try talking to her..." He looked away with a slight frown. "I wanted to try talking to my mom... I wanted to ask if she knew and... I wanted to say goodbye... I never had a chance before she died." His chest tightened at the memory. "Jordon said it could be addicting and I should talk to you first. I think I'd be okay because there isn't anyone else I'd want to talk to, and there isn't that much I want to say to her, but I guess you'd know better than I would." He shrugged, trying not to show how much he wanted to talk to her.

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Hades nodded. “I just need to touch you, like in the hospital. Pain is easy to remove.... some wounds are not so easy to heal. Like... Elizabet’s mind.” Hades had tried his best to rebuild his friend....

 

“Oh?” He moved and sat beside him. “Your mum?” Listening Hades felt his chest tighten. “It is a temptation. Once you look within it you’ll feel compelled to go back. Slowly becoming a ghost of yourself as you give more and more of yourself to the mirror.” Hades looked at him. “Is it really so important to you? To speak with her? To say goodbye?”

[Guest Kotorichan]

"If I knew that I would have asked you to help out last night..." Izel murmured.

 

He frowned at the man's words. "You don't think the demi-god thing would help with that..?" He asked softly.

 

He hesitated again at the question, he wanted to pretend that it didn't matter... It would feel safer if Hades didn't know how much this meant to him... But he had decided to try to open up a bit hadn't he? To try to trust that the man wasn't going to purposefully hurt him? He took a deep breath and lightly leaned against the man's shoulder.

"It is..." He finally said softly, his ears flattening. "She... Died in a car crash... I was in the car when it happened but I just got knocked out... By the time I woke up..." He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. "She's the only person I've ever really considered family, and the only person I've ever felt really cared about me... I constantly wish I had just woken up a bit earlier, if I just had a few minutes..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Hades reaches and touched him. “Ask next time. I don’t just assume it’s necessary.” He took away his pain and healed his hole and hips. “There.”

 

Listening to his story he frowned. Looking over at him. He was quiet a moment then nodded. “I am not sure if being a Demi-god can help.” He admits. “So I’ll make you a deal. One visit.... then I’ll move the mirror. Hopefully you’ll feel less of a pull as time goes on, if any at all.” He hummed gently.

 

“I’m sorry. That you lost your mother so suddenly.” Was that the start of the trust issues? The belief that everyone left?

[Guest Kotorichan]

Izel blushed softly and nodded. "Thanks."

 

He looked up at the man's offer, his eyes filled with tears that he had been trying to hold back. "Yes! That's all I need." He quickly wiped his eyes and gave Hades a genuine smile. "Thank you."

 

He looked away again at the apology, it had been years since he had tried so hard to open up to someone. "I... Always sorta felt like it was my fault..." He admitted. "I had won some stupid art contest and we went out to celebrate..." He rubbed his eyes again. "It's dumb, I know..."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

Hades nodded. “When would you like to go speak to her?” He asked softly.

 

He waved his hand and a navy and silver handkerchief with moons and stars and the name ‘Hades’ embroidered on it appeared. He held it out in silent offer.

 

“It’s not your fault. The book of life would tell you that. These things happen.” If anything, it sounded like something had managed to protect Izel. His grandmother perhaps? “You must be good at art.” He said softly.

 

Hades chuckled. “Trust me, young one. I have done far more dumb things than that. It’s not dumb to feel responsible, but it is also not true. The fates are fickle.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

"I don't know... I think I'll need some time to mentally prepare. I want to make sure I know exactly what I want to say..." Izel blushed softly and took the handkerchief. "Thanks..." He wiped his eyes with it.

 

"I'm not that great... It was just a little contest between some of the kids at my school." He shrugged. "Besides, you've seen my art. Unless you had someone else read my letter to you." He chuckled at the idea.

 

He rested his head against Hades' shoulder, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself. "It's kinda hard to imagine you doing anything dumb... You seem so put together."

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“Okay. Let me know when then....” he offered. Though he considered something but instantly dismissed it.... what was to stop Izel wanting to stay in the realm of the dead his mother was in? “It is possible... she might not be able to answer.... if she was reborn.”

 

“I rather liked your drawings. I thought it would make a rather fetching tattoo.” He winked pulling his robe sleeve up, part the drawing from the letter appeared on his forearm. “What do you think?” He lightly teased.

 

Having Izel rest upon him felt odd after what happened, but he didn’t push him away. “Trust me. I’m old as dirt. I’ve made lots of mistakes.”

[Guest Kotorichan]

"Okay..." Izel frowned slightly at the idea, it'd be pretty hard to deal with the disappointment if he ended up being unable to talk to her.

 

He blushed softly at the man's teasing. "If you wanted a tattoo then I'd actually spend some time designing one... I just kinda doodled that while I was thinking of what to say."

 

"I guess that makes sense..." Izel murmured. "More time to learn from things..."

 

He lightly chewed his lip for a moment, staring down at his hands. "Um... Do you still want to help me get my mom's stuff...?" He asked quietly. "Or did you change your mind about that?"

[Guest syaoran-puu]

“What is her name? I can check the book of souls for you.” He offered.

 

The mark faded from his skin. “If you wanted to design one, I’d wear it for a time. But I can not promise it wouldn’t fade to nothing in time.” He offered gently. Chuckling lightly. “I did notice the way you scribbled and rewrote it. Very endearing.”

 

“More time to mourn and feel the negative also.” He reminded. “Things become.... less significant at times.”

 

He could feel the vulnerability in the man again. Slowly he nodded. “Yes. I will still be honoured to help you. Just give me a full name or address.” Did Izel want to go now? Probably.

[Guest Kotorichan]

"Alana Feryn, she died 11 years ago on July 15th." Izel didn't know if the death date would help much, but he felt like it might.

 

"I'd only design you one if you wanted it, I'm not going to be offended if you aren't interested." He blushed again and looked away with a slight pout. "I just wanted to get it right... I didn't want to accidentally make things worse. I'm bad at talking about my feelings and stuff..."

 

"That part sounds... Really awful..." Izel's ears drooped slightly.

 

"His name is Greorgie Eldon." Izel gave the address as well. "Should we go now..? Or do you have to prepare or something?"