I'm getting too old for this

[KoBu]

Myles tries to explain to the young child that a ketchup bottle may not be the best sleeping companion either because the bottle could fall off the bed and crack open and then your room is gonna be a mess hall. But all in all shopping done and the trip back to the house was quiet and hopefully Yuen and Yue were back.

But now begs the question..... 

What do he and Yukie do from this point?

~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~

2 months later 

The past few months, everyone seemed to fall into an .... Odd new routine. Myles had the boys most of the week when he wasn't working and then they would go to Yukie on the weekends. With Uncles on all sides taking the boys when they could or when called upon. 

During this whole time though, Myles found himself just stewing more and more on the fact that Yukie hasn't once mentioned about where either of them are now. What were they to each other?! Was he just a glorified Nanny at this point!?! Yea sure he had majority guardian ship of the boys and he was overjoyed about that. He got to keep his boys and he was fine being a single parent but .... He still felt angry with Yukie and he still felt as though he was abandoned and like Yukie just either expects to walk right back into his life no questions or he just planned to have Myles be a holding pen for the boys and then just 'oh all better I want my biological kids back so fuck you and goodbye' and take off AGAIN ..... And Myles would never see his kids again. 

It was starting to grate on him so much, everytime Myles saw Yukie come to get the boys for the weekend he was very clearly hostile in the most civil way possible. 

"Do not be late dropping them back off please, or at the very least call me that you'll be late. I don't want to be terrified half the night wondering where you all went." Myles states bluntly without looking at Yukie as he hands over the boys weekend bags 

Gio was over at the kitchen counter watching Myles and there for moral support after the boys would leave. He's seen Myles personality change and he wasn't happy where it was going. Myles was more irritable and easily annoyed by things.... It was like looking at Myles when he was a teen again.... A confused, hurt, and angry teen who didn't have the answers or structure he needed to help move on from a stressful and traumatic situation. 

Gio only speaks up when the boys are gone and Myles has moved back into the kitchen. 

" .... You can't keep that attitude up with him you know.... Eventually your gonna get openly hostile and snap on him..."

"And when am I exactly supposed to talk to him, Gio?! He's going through therapy and anything I say or do could send him off the deep end again--"

Gio snaps back, his voice growing louder knowing Myles is about to get combative "And you fucking acting like a damn prissy little bitch isn't gonna cause that already?! You're father is starting to show through so watch your fucking tone with me Myles you and I both know I can put you in the ground!" 

Myles whips his head up to stare at Gio. He's becoming his father?! "Don't you ever say that to me again Goliath!" Gio towers over Myles "Don't fucking prove me right then"

"....."

"Yea that's what I thought.... Now sit your ass down and calm yourself." 

 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Yukie during those two months worked hard on himself diving more into therapy and figuring out what he needed. It was hard work but eventually he was more confident in being able to take the kids on weekends Taichi having moved in with him full time back at his home the relationship between him and Yuen still overly strained. “…mmh seems pears aren’t good for awhile thought I’d give it a month with small doses.” Yukie mumbled to himself as he sat holding Tama who was fussy at him not liking the food testing sessions. 

“Haru doesn’t do well with apples now, but he’s fine with pears and cheese.” Taichi added as he settled down beside Yukie on the couch and watched Haru who was busily working on building a castle.

“Well MCAS is unpredictable they will be fine with some things and the next time it will be allergic. There’s a chance their bodies just don’t understand not to go all defensive. It’s why it’s keeping us on our toes. It’s easier just to try small bites and doses before letting them eat to much if it’s a small amount it’s just vomiting, instead of a full reaction” Yukie mumbled working on cleaning Tamas face. “I spent five years inside because sunlight caused severe burns. I’d happily take food allergies and stomach issues over that.” 

“How was drop off? You seemed upset coming home.” Taichi asked with a raised brow the man gently poking for answers.

”Myles…he was very angry at me again. He scolded me for being late, even though I always text if I am. I don’t think he likes me coming around lately.” Yukie admitted being much more open with his feelings. “He’s been really upset with me and I don’t know why I’m making sure to do as he says and I’m keeping up with my mental health and my basic health.” Yukie explained with a tiered sigh. “….Maybe…I’ve ruined things. Maybe it would be best to try to move on I don’t want to keep hurting him.” Yukie whispered as he set Tama down to play letting the kids have breaks from their medical stuff.

”why don’t you see if you can take the kids for a few weeks and take a vacation back home with them. Maybe Myles is overworked and needs a break and just doesn’t know how to ask. I’m sure if you ask he would approve of you going on a trip to give him a break.” Taichi offered in advice as he watched Yukie texting Myles the new allergies that would come and go in the kids for awhile.

[KoBu]

While Gio was trying to pull Myles back into himself, he had texted Darrius asking if he could get ahold of Yukie for him and set something up for just the younger man and Myles to just -- talk their shit out! 

Luke Gio, Darrius had been seeing Myles own emotion mire on his sleeve than they normally would ever be when the older man was at work. Myles for as long as Darrius has known him has always, ALWAYS kept his emotions in check. But lately Myles has been snappy and short with even new hires, whom normally Myles treats gently and with an ungodly amount of patience. But now ..... He's short and while he isn't out right humiliating the poor things when they mess up, the redheads typical gentleness definitely isn't present.... 

Hey it's been a minute but it's Darrius.... I dunno if you've noticed since coming home, which thanks for telling us btw, fucker, but Myles hasn't been his normal self and to get straight to the point it's YOUR fault so YOU need to fix it by getting together and talking y'all shit out. You OWE him that much at the very least.....

Darrius read over his message before sending. He wasn't gonna beat around this bush when it came to Myles anymore (not that he did much of it to begin with ), ever since he and Gio started having their fling, Darrius has seen into Myles own past .... And it wasn't pretty.... It made him want to cry knowing what he knew now about the red head.

[Yukonwolfspirit]

‘Look planning something now, but he’s not in the best mood today. Would he even accept visiting me?’ Yukie texted Darrius with a sigh as he handed the phone to Tiachi who raised a brow and shrugged.

“Go ahead invite him for dinner to talk. I can take the kids easily if it gets messy. I think…it’s time you two figured out your mess.” Taichi added as he watched Haru who was adding a blanket now making his castle a fort. “I’ll stay here if it makes it easier” Tiachi offered as Yukie nodded and got up going to the sunroom. Closing the door he paced a little and with a nervous sigh called Myles’s phone number to talk and invite him to dinner or clear the air over the phone.

[KoBu]

The phone ringing jolted Myles' attention away from his and Gio current confrontation. He looks at the caller ID seeing Yukie's name. He has to fight himself from rolling his eyes

"Yes? Is there a problem?" He answer a little to coldly. He truly isn't in the mood to listen to Yukie unless it's an emergency or he's prepared to explain his near year absence.

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“…I wanted to talk…and we’ll…settle thing's. Taichi said it would be best to talk, and everyone’s so angry about this and I agree I need to fix things. I was thinking you might also need a break from the kids and was wanting to take them back home for two weeks. You take care of them and you’ve been angry lately so I thought you might like a break.” Yukie whispered his nerves breaking as he took a moment to calm himself his voice breaking as he spoke. “I wanted to invite you to dinner…that way we could figure out how things are going in the future and well…I don’t want you to feel trapped beside me with the kids if you want to find someone else.” Yukie added his voice shaking as he spoke before settling down in a chair so afraid to talk to Myles lately since he knew Myles absolutely hated him.

[KoBu]

The red head felt a vein pop in his head. "Yea no fucking shit everyone's angry! You disappeared for nearly a year and left the boys here with no real explanation you idiot!! Honestly I have half mind to--" Myles stopped himself from going on a tirade. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the red head took a deep breathe, trying to calm himself as best as he could. Tamping back all the angry, blackened words he wants to yell at the younger right now. And what's this nonsense of him leaving to take the boys back home for two weeks?! Under normal circumstances, Myles would think that's a good idea but how does he really expect Myles to trust him to come back after what he's already done?!?! Gio looked over at Myles makes a gesture at him, encouraging him to continue, go and speak with him!

"I'm not coming by for dinner, However--" Myles tome is one of finality, he is not in the mood to be argued with or baited. "We will meet up later this week so I can set up a sitter for the boys.... You and I will speak here or in an open public space whichever you prefer. But have a great deal to say to, but i am too tired to do so tonight." 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Alright. I’d prefer a cafe if that’s alright.” Yukie replied nervously as he sighed and looked out at the starry sky. “….I would like to talk also, explain myself properly. All I ask if we meet up is you’ll try and keep an open mind. I-I’m struggling to talk to you lately and be around you…it would help to know that talking to you would be a good thing like Taichi is telling me” Yukie admitted the man unsure if meeting Myles was a good idea now since just a phone call had angered him so much.

[KoBu]

"Yukie make no mistake I am ..... Angry beyond words.... What you did and how you acted was NOT in anyway ok at all.... But I'm not going to just speak my mind and leave. I fully expect you tell me what was running through your mind when--.... When this whole thing started...." Myles stated truthfully. He wasn't gonna wear kid gloves for Yukie's feelings. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to Yukie to try and pretend everything was ok when it wasn't. 

"I'll be sure to text you when I've got a sitter and the boys are settled in....now goodnight..." And with that Myles hung up the phone, the tears already brimming in his eyes

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Yukie stood in the sunroom the end tone singing out as he hung up his phone and went back to talk to Taichi and finish dinner getting the kids cleaned up and in bed. Keeping his phone on he lounged at home for the weekend in bed Taichi stepping up and taking the kids back to Myles. Handing off bags he was quite late arriving but handed over new medical papers and the information packet. “He’s sick, so I’m taking over for drop off today. The kids were difficult so I apologize.” Taichi explained as he waved goodbye and went back home leaving things as they where.

[KoBu]

'is he actually sick or is he hiding until we meet face to face' Myles thinks to himself. He waves as Taichi drives back towards his and Yukie's home. 

He turns to his boys and smiles at them. "I heard you guys were being difficult .... Wanna tell me what's happened? Didn't you have a good weekend with daddy?" Myles asks as he reads through the newest list of allergies. 

Unpacking their little bags, and setting their clothes aside to wash later on. 

Myles spent the evening texting Gio and telling him he'd be speaking with Gio during the week so he asked him to come watch the boys for a little while. 

later that week in a little coffee shop in the city

Waiting at the cafe proved to irk him more. He pulled put his phone, Myles was watching the time like his purpose was to do so. He debated texting Yukie ... Telling him he was waiting already. But Myles worries that would scare the man off... 

Edited March 6 by KoBu

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Papa has been crying and in bed sick.” Haru explained as he looked at Myles confused but didn’t say more on it going off to play.

————-

“Sorry, been busy.” Yukie mumbled as he sat in his chair looking like he hadn’t slept in days his body oozing exhaustion and well he was covered in a slight red rash all over his chest and arms. “Doctor visits and such. Trying to narrow down some stuff for the kids end result is breaking out.” Yukie explained as he looked at Myles almost as if bracing himself. “So go ahead and let it out. I deserve a lashing for everything” Yukie mumbled.

[KoBu]

Myles eyes narrows at Yukie. He's visibly exhausted, probably hasn't eaten properly, and on top of that trying to swing caring for the boys, his therapy, and going to his own doctors. 

"And the hell do you expect me to do that when your sitting here looking like you could break any damn second...... Fucking christ I really do have half a mind to beat the shit outta you for what you did to not even me but to your own. Kids...... YOUR KIDS Yukie!!" Myles starts. His eyes already start to burn with unshed tears. "Do you have ANY FUCKING idea what happened when you just ran off?! Look I understand why you did it, I do. For fucks sake you told me before we both fell asleep!! But the way you went about was fucking stupid!! And what do I get?! Fucking parcels and packages!?! I wanted explanations Yukie!! Answers!!" Myles feels his hands slam down on the table, startling a few patrons around them. He waves them in apology before starting in on the younger man again. "You could've at the very LEAST told your brother what you were doing.... You HAD to have known that this was how things would play out if you had to be away for so long, so you should've talked to all of us before you left!!! ...... You missed their birthdays ..... Mile stones YOU SHOULD'VE been here for!!" Myles feels his breath coming in heaves ..... He feels an all too familiar fuzzy buzzing in the back of his head. "I know I didn't matter enough for you to discuss this type of magnitude with but what of Yuen and Yue.... They should've known!! What you did was unfair, unsafe and completely idiotic and so moronic I can't even being to describe in words how much I wanna knock your head around to hopefully put some sense into you!!" His hands are shaking. Myles curses under his breathe as he takes out a fresh pack of smokes. He lights it, grateful he had the fore thought to get a table outside. 

"So I suppose the questions I have, and I swear to god Yukie if you give me anything but an honest answer I will make your wish you'd never met me..... Did you lie to me the night we were in the hotel together? Did you even mean anything you said? If you did why couldn't you have at the least given me the courtesy of telling me what you were going to have to do .....?" 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Yukie sat quietly as Myles let out his feelings his mind processing all that the man said and it really started to sink in how much he had hurt everyone. “I-I meant what I said……I-I do want to be with you.” Yukie spoke softly as he thought deeply as he spoke. “I was afraid. I kept getting messages and threats that the kids would be ripped away. I knew if that happened I would be going with them. I wanted to ask you…hell…I wanted to tell you. I was afraid to everything was so new I wasn’t sure what to do and if I could even ask such a thing I mean you were already doing so much already. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to help me I didn’t even know how you felt about me. Everything was so confusing. All I could think about was trying to get away from him and I felt so trapped.” Yukie explained his voice shaking as he tried to really explain how he felt. “At the time I was unsure if I was good for you…I still really feel like I shouldn’t be with you I’ve hurt you so much. I-I fuck.” Yukie replied as he took a shaky breath giving himself a moment to calm down. “I’m terrified of being with you because I don’t know anything about being in a relationship or how to deal with my feelings. I want to believe I love you because all I could think about was seeing you again. It’s why I picked out things for you… but I don’t know what loving you would mean for us or for myself. It’s why I haven’t talked to you properly…” Yukie whispered looking down at his lap.

[KoBu]

The red head stares at Yukie. The wheels are turning in his head. He takes a drag from his cigarette, the smoke billowing and dancing in the open air as he releases a plume of the smoke before he speaks again. 

" .... I really want to believe that Yukie .... I want desperately to believe that.... I know you and I barely had any real time together.... We didn't even finish our first date before you left...." Myles knows what it feels like to be trapped in a relationship. He knows there isn't an easy path of escape. "I saw your phone the night you left I saw how desperate your ex husband was.... I know it's nearly impossible to feel like you have a choice in what happens..... But you also saw how far i would happily go just for the boys alone. I loved the boys the second you showed them to me on the roof. You should've known that I can and will do anything if it meant it was gonna be good for them.... That would've including helping you. I won't claim to be a saint but I wouldn't have ignored you if you needed help.... I would've hoped you'd have known that already." 

The tears start to fall now.... It's not a river of tears .... Myles never was one to give himself a proper cry. "I don't claim to know much of relationships either after all my last one ended with my ex going to jail, but I certainly know you should have a little.faith in your partner...."

The red head takes another drag, and with every ounce of courage he can muster up, he looks Yukie dead in the eye, 

"Do you still ..... Want us to work?" 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Ah…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Yukie replied as he moved and offered Myles a napkin to dry his tears. “It seems we both struggle in this area.” Yukie added as he sat back down and took in Myles words taking some time to really think.

”I…really want to work on us and be together. It’s going to take time though, I need to take some time and work through us.” Yukie explained as he looked down at his hands. “I want to be with you and be happy and a family.” Yukie whispered.

[KoBu]

Myles stubs out his cigarette. Takes a long swing of his drink, packing away his things and stands staring down at Yukie. 

"Then you best be prepared to bust your ass, and prove it...." 

Fine. If Yukie could put in the effort and work, Myles can be patient and let the younger man work on himself and try to make himself better for himself and his children. 

"Take the time you need to put yourself in a better head space, be a better parent to the boys, THEN you and I can make moves.... And as far as your trip back home with the boys...." Myles is visibly displeased with idea but he has to let those reins loose just a little ... Let Yukie know he wants to trust him again, but there will be stipulations... Myles wants Yukie aware how much of the bridge he has burned but that there is still a foundation to rebuild it.

"Honestly I'm not thrilled at the idea. After all, you've up and disappeared already and I've had no idea where you were or what was happening. I didn't need a break from the children either...." The redhead sighs before continuing, weary of his next words "But I'm not going to dent you some proper bonding with them. I'm not exactly happy Haru doesn't seem to recognize you as his father. Lord knows if Tama even knows who you are. So yes you can take them HOWEVER.... Taichi is to go with you and he is to be with the boys at all times and I certainly don't want you alone with them if you go out in public, is that clear? If he is unable to go with you, I do not want the boys going at all...." It sounds cruel maybe even unreasonable, but Myles was not about to loose his boys in a country he wasn't even able to go to. 

Myles turns to leave, "Text me the details when you have them." And just as briskly as he came, Myles left. Now the ball was placed in Yukie's own court. 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Yukie sighed as he was left alone at the table the man taking a moment to himself at the table. Finally getting up he paid the bill and boxed up the cake before going home. Looking at Taichi he shrugged and went to his office to work.

-#-#-#-Three days later-#-#-#-

Yukie laid on his bed deep in thought as he looked through a few last minute things waiting for his time to pick up the kids only having an hour left. Soon the time passed and getting in the car he drove over to Myles place having got the pickup info from Taichi who was staying home to finish cleaning. Getting out of the car he walked up to Myles door and knocked holding the packet of papers in hand.

 

[KoBu]

Placing the last of the boys overnight bags by the door, Myles was able to quickly answer the knock at the door, already assuming it to be Yukie. "Haru!! Papa is here to pick you up for the weekend!" Myles calls out for them. He turns to the younger man, less hostile then he was a few days ago. While his trust and respect won't be freely given, Myles is going to give it a chance to be earned. To do that he knows he has to be civil and polite.... Besides he got his thoughts and feelings heard so he has no other reason to be aggressive towards Yukie now ..... For the most part. 

Myles looks down to see the papers. He has a sinking feeling, but keeps a calm composure as he holds out a hand to tale them. "New medications or a list of new foods you want Tama to try? Gimme a moment and I'll get him. He did pretty well this week. I haven't noticed any triggering allergens yet though I haven't ventured too far from the lists anyway." 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Yukie blushed as he looked at Myles outstretched hand before handing the papers over. Taking a moment to building up a little courage Yukie spoke. “Myles, I would like you to come with us on our trip. While it’s important for me to reconnect with the kids, it’s also very important for me to reconnect with you and learn how to better parent as a couple and how to be a couple. I’ve…made all the plans and set up everything including seperate rooms for us that are attached to the kids rooms. Um… I made a packet of everything you would need to know and what I’ve planned. I’m also paying for everything so no worries on that.” Yukie started as he nervously talked trying his best to look at Myles when he talked but well that was a tad hard at times. “I want…to take you on a remake of our first date…I want to prove you can trust me and trust I will return and keep my word.” Yukie finished as he looked at the packet that was thick and full of heavily researched information.

[KoBu]

To say Myles was shocked .... Was a severe understatement. He was absolutely dumbfounded. He spent several seconds just ... Staring at the younger man. They only spoke of rekindling their relationship THREE DAYS AGO! 

"Y-yukie this-- ..... " his tongue felt like it caught in his throat. "This is .... quite a jump from what we spoke about the other day, you don't think this too soon for you?!" Myles asks a little worried that Yukie was still too emotionally fragile to take on another date and a relationship! And to go all the way to Japan?! How long would they even be going? Would Myles even have enough sick leave and PTO to cover it? 

"Ho-how soon would you want to leave and how long would .... Would we be gone? I'd need time to get things settled here and get the time off...." 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“In a week I want to leave. It will be for two weeks. You said you wanted commitment and proof I was willing to put in the work.” Yukie explained as he stood there looking at Myles. “I’m putting in the work. I will have Taichi willing to joining us if you’re unsure of me just going.” Yukie added quickly as he was unsure just where Myles was on trusting him with such a trip.

 

[KoBu]

"W-WEEK!?!?! Yukie a week?! Jesus christ you certainly don't waste time!!" Myles screeched. He pulled Yukie inside, suddenly noticing his nosey neighbors were peeking out their doors. They seem to do that alot lately with everyone who kept coming by his apartment these days. 

"Y-yukie listen to me very carefully.... I'm very pleased your taking my words to heart but how can you have all of these things prepped and ready in a week?! This is a NATIONAL FLIGHT out of the country with 3 adults and 2 children.... One of which has NEVER been outside this country! If I do decide to go I don't have an updated passport, I have no idea if I'm even properly vaccinated to go, and while my Japanese is decent to where the boys can understand me, I am far from fluent!!" Myles states, listing put everything that could possibly go wrong!! But shit the redhead didn't know if he should be impressed, flattered, or absolutely terrified. Back in his day you only showed this level of commitment if you'd already been with a person for a number of years. But here Yukie a young ass shit wet behind the ears father of two just asking Myles the 30 something year old man to fly away with him as if Yukie was a sugar daddy!! 

"You're very much aware I'm too old to be considered a sugar baby right?! Cuz that's what this is gonna look like! Oh good lord..... " 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Well, if you’re agreeing to going…I’ve pulled a few strings while working on this the last four days. You can get your passport updated Wednesday I’ve already got everything ready you just need do is show up and bring basic identification, then I’ve arranged Taichi to do your shots Thursday and full medical paperwork. The prep part for everything is here and already planned and written out red is what you need to do green is what I’ve done for you.” Yukie mentioned to the paper stack a small section tabbed with red of appointments while the green was much larger.
 

“As for translations, I can take over or we can use the interpreters I have on standby. Your choice of who it is that’s in the purple section.” Yukie reassured Myles as he looked at him and leaned against the door. “I put in the work….Ive lived off caffeine the last four days.” Yukie admitted knowing he must look a mess but well he had managed to dress and shower better than before when he was at the cafe. Hearing Myles reaction Yukie raised a brow unsure what to do.

“Sugar baby?” Yukie asked confused as he looked at Myles his face blank. “What exactly is that?” Yukie questioned not understanding the saying as he furrowed his brows..

[KoBu]

Myles just .... Couldn't believe it. He stared at Yukie completely in awe. All the prep work, Yukie really busted his ass as Myles had stated he needed to do. The red head flipped through the massive booklet in his hands. 

Staring at the minuscule sections of what he needed to do, comparing it to the massive sections already done, and then skimming through the translators, none of whom Myles knew. He honestly didn't think he'd need a translator for understanding japanese. If anything he understood better than what he himself spoke. Though he supposed this good be an opportunity of his own to get better. On top of that he could keep a better eye on the boys if things start going sour..... But ..... Going to the man he literally assaulted a week prior.... That didn't sit right with Myles at all. How the fuck was he supposed to face Taichi--

 

"Wait .... They .... They don't have sugar babies in Japan??" Myles started feeling his face start heating up. Fucking christ how the fuck was he supposed to explain that!??! "U-u-um we-well.... It's uh--!!" Shit shit shit shit!!! Myles rakes a deep breathe "ok so ... Here in the states there's these people called Sugar daddies or Sugar Mommies, they're typically my age or older and they will pay people younger, typically your age" he gestures to Yukie "To keep them ..... 'Company'. Like an allowance to adults those people who accept those 'allowances' re called Sugar babies..." God Myles felt like he wanted to melt into the floor boards and die!!! 

"A-anyway hence why I say I'm a little old to be a sugar baby. You paying for everything is feeling like a sugar daddy...."