I'm getting too old for this

[KoBu]

Now he waits.... All he can do is wait. He hated waiting. 

Maybe them being together wasn't the best idea after all.... Fucking christ Myles felt like a teenager. Rubbing his temples he glares at Gio, lips pulled into a deep frown. The other man holds up his arms and knows what that looks is saying. 

"Yea yea I'm going. But again be mad at me all you want, Yukie and Tai can be mad to .... But you know this bridge needs to be crossed if you wanna keep going Myles ....." Gio states and leaves before Myles can blow up on him. 

With a sigh, Myles tries to go about his day with the boys waiting for that dreaded call....

[Yukonwolfspirit]

Around evening Yukie finally called his voice groggy as he spoke Taichi holding his hand as he sat beside him the two in the backyard. “Myles. Hey….we-we need to talk. About everything. If possible without the kids hearing.” Yukie asked his voice sounding so tiered and heavy as if everything inside was crushing him. “I want to possibly fix things….for myself and I want to figure out my future and our future. I want to be truly honest about everything in my life. I’m calling to let you know so you’re not blindsided…by the topic” Yukie whispered his voice falling quiet as he held the phone his hand trembling while he waited for Myles voice to speak back.

[KoBu]

The phone ringing made Myles stomach plummet. He answers calmly. 

"Hello?" 

He listens to Yukie. He hears those dreaded words nobody wants to hear. We need to talk Myles may actually throw up after this call. 

But he kept his voice even in tone. "Alright ... Where do you want o meet? I'll need to call in a sitter for the boys if it's tonight..." 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“If it’s alright, maybe my place. Taichi and I are roasting marshmallows.” Yukie offered trying to make it easier and more of a casual setting. “We plan on doing pizza and drinks if you want.” Yukie added with a blush as Taichi took rested his head on Yukies shoulder. 

 

[KoBu]

"Fine. Let me settle a sitter for the boys first and I'll text you when I'm on the way.... You'll need to give me the address for where you're staying. " Myles explains quickly before hanging up. 

He called over Gio again he was displeased with his best friend but Myles knew he could still trust him at the end of the day. 

"The boys are already asleep so they shouldn't be much trouble for you but they'll lead you to what they want if they need anything. But no juice, or they'll wet the bed." 

Gio nods and Myles heads off to Yukie's place, nerves firing all over and buzzing in his head.

He knocks and hopes that by some miracle nobody wants to answer.

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Hey.” Yukie replied while leading the way outside. Sitting around a campfire was Taichi who was eating a slice of pizza.

”Hey, help yourself. Beer, pizza, smores.” Taichi directed as Yukie went and sat back down beside Taichi.

”you can relax….I just wanna talk about us. And well, I need to tell you what really happened when I was away.” Yukie admitted as he stole a bite from Taichi’s pizza.

[KoBu]

"Not at the moment, I'm not feeling the greatest." Myles politely declines as he sits across from the two. He tries not to notice the closeness, wonder if Yukie has already taken back his proposal. Given his mental state..... Myles tries not to let that thought sting.... Tries not to let the disappointment show on his face. 

You knew it wouldn't last from the start.... He's a young kid after all you knew he wouldn't be interested in an old man like you.... Best be ready for him to take the boys next! 

Myles kind of wants to cry.... He knows what this conversation is really about.... Yukie tells him what he went through and he tells Myles it makes him realize that they weren't compatible from the start and that he doesn't even want to try anymore.

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“….I want to inform you that…I’m close to Taichi, I’ve…become close since moving back. I wanted to see if you would accept him also….in our relationship.” Yukie asked gently as he was nervous to ask such a thing. “Nothing would change for us…it would just be easier for me to sleep…and well support wise.” Yukie started with a small sigh unsure how Myles would take such a thing.

”Yukie refuses to do anything until he’s gotten your approval and while your relationship is still so new, I’m able to offer the romantic support he so desperately needs. I don’t want to push you into a three person relationship though.” Taichi explained as he took another bite of his food.

[KoBu]

Myles stares a moment, face blank. The red head has heard from Darrius that there's people with multiple partners called 'throuples' but ...he never really saw it in practice.... It makes him question how it could work. Is this Yukie's way of keeping his promise but admitting he loves and cares for somebody else. Myles looks at the floor, starting to get lost in his own thoughts. 

Wouldn't he just be easier if he didn't stay in the relationship. Myles felt the pricking of tears welling up. He can't be too upset, after all he knew this may happen from the start. Taichi was Yukie's own age and was there in his darkest hour....

He doesn't know what to do, what to say..... Myles feels like anything he could or would say could possibly send Yukie over the edge. 

On one end Yukie says this would just be something to make easier to sleep and Taichi says he could offer romantic fulfilment.... Meaning Myles isn't meeting any of Yukie's needs, which feels like a small punch to the gut. But on the other how was he supposed to meet those needs when nobody had given him any kind of answer or news!? 

But ..... Myles was nothing if he wasn't a people pleaser....

" If ... It makes you feel better Yukie .... You can do what you feel is best..." 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Myles. I’m not going to just fuck him. It’s….more like a therapy dog for the time being it’s still quite new for us. Ummm. Maybe I should explain more. I-I spent a month isolated in a room chained to the floor because my first month there I found my exes gun and tried to end it, he found out and beat me within an inch of my life and chained me to the floor in a room to keep me safe. Because all I was to him was a pretty accessory on his arm. So since I wouldn’t behave it was easier to drug me and keep me nice and docile so he could spend time with me and take me out of the house without worry about how I would make him look. He wanted to keep our life how it was before I escaped. Coming back it was hard to detox from drugs and alcohol.” Yukie started his voice shaking as he spoke.

”Taichi is helping me with everything…and after he stopped me from ending it all…. I realized that I need to have someone around and the kids weren’t a good fit for this. So Taichi stepped in I didn’t want you to…force yourself to do things to make me happy. Honestly mentally I’m working on everything but between work, drugs and the exhaustion of life and therapy I slip up from time to time. This means I can’t even sleep alone! I felt like I couldn’t talk about it openly because anyone in their right mind wouldn’t let me watch the kids, I was afraid I would drive you away with my neediness and you would want nothing to do with me again. I’m so terrified of running into my ex every waking moment, that sometimes I can’t function but I don’t want to be barred from living my life.” Yukie explained as he tried to calm down his voice now shaking. “I want to love you in due time but I don’t want you to be upset or hurt if Taichi is comforting me or is close to me.” 

Edited March 10 by Yukonwolfspirit

[KoBu]

Myles smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes... Its almost like it's practiced... Rehearsed. 

"It's fine Yukie... No need for an explanation. I'm sorry for everything you've gone through.... It was horrible and I wouldn't wish that on anyone... So if you feel this is what's best and what will help you the most... Then I'll support it. Just as long as your taking steps to make yourself better...." Myles means the words but they come out so monotone. He is horrified at what Yukie had to go through and he wants to hold him and comfort him .... But he's not sure he can even do that anymore ....

Tell him what he wants to hear, let him be with who he wants ... And just maybe he won't take the boys away... At least you still have them....

He turns to Taichi, that plastic smile still on his face.... Myles is a master of this smile. He's used it countless times in business meetings.... Gave him an edge and let people feel at ease. Everything will be fine if he just smiles and agrees with whatever Yukie wants to do. "While we're here I'd like to formally apologize for tossing you around.... I had assumed you were an intruder and was threatening the boys' uncle at the time...." 

Edited March 10 by KoBu

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“I wouldn’t be like that. I care for Yukie. And while this is all new no one is jumping into a relationship so quick. It’s just we wanted to be open with you we are sharing a lot of our life.” Taichi explained with a small smile. “It’s going to be hard to make this work. But I’m willing to try with you.” Taichi admitted as he let go of Yukies hand. 

“Myles this…it won’t work for our family…if you can’t be honest with me too.” Yukie whispered as he looked at Myles unsure. “I need your honesty for us to work. I can’t keep going around you if you can’t tell me how you really. Feel…I mean most people would be upset about this or at least wanting to know more…your just happy and so calm.”

[KoBu]

Myles chuckles .... It's airy and almost nonchalant. But the smile still doesn't move .... Its doesn't go any higher. 

"Yukie this isn't my first time around... I'm well aware of how this will go and that's perfectly fine.... You seem to forget that like you, I had another life before you walked into mine..." Myles explains. "I'm asking for more information because I've already been through this before... I truly do want you to do what you think is best to help you get better and make you happy in the end. Honestly." The red head states. He is speaking the truth... He does want Yukie to do what will make him better. He does know what to do and say in this situation because he's already lived it once before. " So please ... I don't want you thinking I'm angry. I'm not. I can promise you, that I'll accept and support the choice you want to make. I thank you for coming clean with me on what happened." Just more of the plastic smiling. He gives Taichi a nod in understanding. "I can meet your expectations."

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“….your smile is just like his. Every time we were together in public that same smile.” Yukie whispered as he refused to look at Myles feeling so hurt. “…I can’t do this with you. Not if you keep moving through the motions. We won’t work if you can’t bare everything to me” Yukie added as tears started falling down his face. “I don’t want to feel like you’re faking being happy. I don’t need that again….”

”Myles….I’m not going to rip you two apart I want to stay but I won’t if it makes Yukie upset” Taichi replied able to catch that Myles wasn’t truely happy.

[KoBu]

Myles stares at them both, the smile finally dropping. He was fighting a losing battle by this point.

"Can I tell you two a little story?" 

Myles asked. The tears finally started falling ... But there was no sobbing.... No hysterics. 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Of course you can tell us anything.” Yukie replied as he looked at Myles and smiled warmly before setting down some hot coco for him. Taichi nodded in agreement as he sat beside Yukie both watching Myles with open minds.

 

[KoBu]

Myles looks at the table for a moment. 

"Let me just say that this isn't meant to disregard your own torment Yukie. I'll never disregard what you went through....understand?" The red head wants it clear he isn't trying to make a competition of who has had it worse. But if they want his honesty ... Then he'll give it to them ....

"Years ago there was a scandal at the local high school. A teacher was dating a seventeen year old. The student came from ... Less than favorable circumstances. A lack of a parental figure in their life led them to seek it in a thirty seven year old gym teacher. In the beginning the teenager was happy. They were less angry at the world. They didn't feel the need to fight at everything and everyone because for once they felt like nobody was out to get them. But it didn't take long before that teacher started getting possessive, controlling. Kept making comments about how when that student turned eighteen how they would be taking what was 'rightfully' theirs. The student turns eighteen and thay teacher does just what he says he would." Myles pauses here. He's still looking down at the table. His expression unchanged. "The student lets him. Overjoyed at the thought of being claimed.... They thought it meant they'd be together forever.... But then .... The teacher starts bringing other people around.... He sleeps with them and makes the student watch everytime. The teacher always said make sure you keep me happy or I may leave you all alone and you won't even get to watch anymore. The student did everything that teacher told him to after that. From what they ate to what they wore, the student did it all to the letter without fail and even completely exhausted at times. The student was always at the teacher's beck and call. Blow job under the desk while other students were in class? Yes sir. Sex while some stranger watched and touched that student without their own consent? Yes sir. Anything to keep the teacher, their lover, with them..... Anything to keep his little piece of what he thought was happiness." 

Myles finally looks at the other two across from him. That plastic smile was back and the tears rolled down without stopping. 

"Care to take a guess who that student was?" 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Fuck Myles.” Taichi replied as he sat shocked. Yukie instantly was at Myles side wrapping his arms around him.

”I even catch wind of the bastard I’ll bury him ten feet under.” Yukie promised as he just clung to myles before finally letting him go. “I won’t say sorry because it won’t fix the pain. I can promise you though…that, that won’t happen with us. Nothing is done without consent, nothing is done to hurt the other or control them. I’m, so so proud of you for telling me this telling us this.” Yukie praised Myles as he took his hands and gently kissed them. 

“Myles I don’t want you to feel like that ever again.” Taichi stated as he moved over and sat in a chair beside Myles leaving Yukie to stay at Myles feet. “What he did was wrong to you, I can get him sent away if it helps?” Taichi offered wanting to offer Myles justice if he needed it.

 

[KoBu]

Myles sits unmoving, neutral and calm. "There's no need.... He's already in jail. When we finally broke up I reported him anonymously and the school did an investigation. Seems it wasn't just me he was fooling around with at the time." Myles states quietly. His eyes, now reddening with the crying, having never left the floor.... He didn't want to look at the two and see those looks .... Looks of pity. He didn't need that. Myles knew he was a stupid young kid that made a dumb choice. He gently pulls his hand away from Yukie. Tucks both hands away. He feels disgusting just re-telling that story. He gets up, wanting nothing more than to leave and get out of their view..... He hates this, he hates being the center of attention!! He hates it he hates it hE HATES IT HE HATES IT HEHATESITHEHATESITHEHATESIT--!!!!

" ..... I think I need to go home..... I'm tired...." Myles states simply. He turns back to the pair. He smiles again. "I appreciate you both being so open and honest with me.... This relationship will take some getting used to, but if it's for your benefit, and if you don't mind having an old man around, I'm willing to try."

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“Myles we want you to benefit from it too, it’s not just for us its for you too.” Taichi explained as he looked at Myles with a small sigh. “Please stay a little longer he’ll stay the night if you want!” Taichi offered as he settled back down in his seat.

”….You…had your heart broken.” Yukie started with a frown still processing so much about Myles as he got up from the ground and grabbed himself a beer. “Are you happier now then you were then?” Yukie asked gently wanting to know as he sipped the drink. “Are you happy with the life you have?” Yukie questioned wanting to know where Myles stood now after such a traumatic start into romance. 

[KoBu]

"I can't stay the boys will expect me in the morning..." Myles says this quietly. Why are they so desperate for him to stay.... He already gave them his blessing to do as they pleased. He'd be quiet and sit to the side if that's what they wanted. It's nothing new to him. 

For his benefit to? He doesn't see how, besides getting to keep the boys. Do they want to include him because Yukie still feels guilty? Maybe. The kid's been through the ringer and now he's probably just trying to do what he can to keep a sense of normalcy. For him and the kids. Myles takes in a deep breathe. Puts on his stoic mask once more. 

But when Yukie asks him if he was happy with his life. He chuckles "Yukie my heart wasn't broken. I was a stupid kid who made an obviously stupid choice. I should have known better than to date somebody who was two decades my senior at the time." He looks at Yukie. The way he looked at him when they had first met the office. A face of professionalism and strength. "I'm  happy, yes. Life throws me curve balls, but it throws it at everybody else as well.... We either get hit with it or we wise up and dodge it." 

Myles supposes he didn't wise up from last time .... But it's ok. He can adapt. He always does. He'll entertain them both for the moment. "I'll stay a little while longer but then I really do need to get back home. Gio is watching the boys but I don't want to keep him there all night..." Myles explains cooly

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“You can go if you really want to. We just wanted to visit and hang out with you. It’s been hard making time to spend together alone. I understand if you can’t though you must have called in favors to have Gio watch them” Yukie admitted with a blush finding it hard to say he wanted to spent time with Myles without the kids.

”oh your so smitten with him. You can’t help but blush anytime Myles comes up.” Taichi teased as Yukie lightly smacked his leg. “Myles, Yukie blushes every time he brings you up in therapy. It’s so cute. He’s trying so hard not to beg you to move in or stay forever.” Taichi added as Yukie covered his face almost dying of embarrassment.

“Ah. Taichi.” Yukie gasped as he just felt like he could die on the spot from Taichi admitting how much Myles occupied his thoughts and day.

 

[KoBu]

Myles smiles easily. He chuckles. " well I'm truly flattered. Maybe once you're truly ok and stable and perhaps if the boys begin to recognize you as Dad again, we can talk about me moving in.... Though if it happens in the near future I'll have to deal with my landlord and breaking the lease.... " He means most of it. He'll move in once the boys start to recognize Yukie again. They'll be a little confused at first but Myles will explain the best he can. Myles looks at the beer bottles on the table..... He really shouldn't. He's said before his liver was delicate but right now he thought Fuck it..... If things go one way or the other might as well be blacked out and not remember Myles picks up a bottle, knocks the top against the wall before flicking the bottle top off easily and taking a huge swig. He should text Gio to sleep in his bed if he was tired, this convo may take longer than he thought. 

[Yukonwolfspirit]

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink.” Yukie admitted with a laugh as he was already drunk from the one beer Taichi shaking his head in amusement.

”I’m always amazed how lightweight you are.” Taichi teased as he helped himself to more food and added more fuel to the fire. “So, the kids…how are they doing? Yukie wants to catch up on all he missed. He’s been looking at photos and videos but he wants to know who they’ve become.”

[KoBu]

"I shouldn't be considering I nearly disintegrated my liver a few years about with excessive drink" Myles admits with a smile. But whose gonna stop him at this point. He could punt anybody who tried to take it from. 

Upon mentioning the kids, Myles seems to get a little more lively. "Haru is a little sweetheart whose always stuck to my leg and Tama is a curious little rug rat whose so mellow I worry about losing him. His colic seems near non existent now. Mine and Gio's niece has been tormenting them though. Haru blows a fit everytime she says 'Uncle Myles is all hers' little brat but she's got a good heart and energy to keep em busy when I can't."