I’ll Never Return…

[Fmkitty]

Title: I’ll Never Return…

Fandom: Togainu no Chi

Characters: Original Male Character, Shiki, Akira 

Pairing: Shiki x Akira 

Status: Completed (4 chapters) 

Summary: [This story was made as entry for November’s month Aarinfantasy Writing Challenge.] 

[This story takes time during

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and after it. However, it can be read as a stand-alone story] 

One average student barely managed to settle down in the new place. However, everything has changed when a couple of officers frame him and use him as a bribe to the most powerful man in the country. What terrors awaits Shiro in the hell which he was brought, and will he live long enough to survive it? Read and find out~

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---

 

 

Chapter 1.

 

 

Finally, with the sounds of a ringing bell, the last lecture is over. And thus, after picking up his textbooks, one silver-haired male with gray eyes in his twenties leaves the auditorium.

After walking in the corridor, he turns his head and gazes through the window. However, the sun’s reflection on the rustled tree leaves makes him gloomier.

After all, just when he managed to settle down in the new place for a while, the recent news struck like lightning from the clear sky and ruined his momentary happiness.

Apparently, Shiro’s days of reckless freedom are counted, and soon he’ll be placed in the meat grinder. That’s right, Shiro received a recruitment letter from the military a couple of days ago.

Of course, he didn’t tell about it to his mother because he perfectly understood that it might break her heart, and she wouldn’t let him perish on the battlefield like his late father.

Unfortunately, he knows well that he won’t be able to hide the needle in the bag for too long or ignore this cursed piece of paper that kills countless men. However, he doesn’t care about being taken by the force but is afraid of what these awful, unpredictable, corrupted officers may do to his mother if he doesn’t cooperate with them.

But for now, Shiro continues on his way, trying to forget that letter, focusing on group assignment tasks, and thinking about what place he should pick for incoming practice.

 

---

 

Some time has passed. As Shiro expected by this time, the streets are already crowded by the mass of constantly changing people, and he blends into the moving gray mass in no time.

Suddenly, he widens his eyes as someone from behind grabs his arm. At first, he shakes off the stranger’s hand without turning back.

Besides, maybe it’s just a random stranger wanting to mess around. At least, it’s not as uncomfortable as the passengers on the train either being too close to him.

Therefore, Shiro decides not to pay too much attention to such a petite thing and minds his business as usual.

Unfortunately, another stranger is bolder than the previous one and slips something small inside his uniform pants pocket.

Yet, the silver-haired male’s reaction is faster, and as he grasps the white-gloved hand, he turns back. “What do you think of doing?”

To his surprise, it’s a middle-aged man in a military uniform grinning at him like a hungry wolf.

As that man grips Shiro’s wrist, he addresses him. “Where do you think you’re going, you little thief?”

“Let... let me go!” The gray-eyed male resists. Yet, he gasps as another officer holds his other arm.

“Not only you’ve caught stealing, but you also have an audacity to disrespect the authority.” Another officer replies in a mocking tone.

While one of them puts the handcuffs behind his back, he adds. “You have a lot of guts, kid…”

Despite being the center of the crowds’ attention, Shiro struggles. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then, what’s this? How did end up in your pocket? Or are you telling us it jumped right into your pocket?” The middle-aged man asks as he pulls a tiny plastic bag filled with white powder and shows it in front of the poor student.

Shiro freezes in the same spot while his eyes follow the small object swigged. A few seconds later, he only closes his eyes and calmly explains. “You are the ones who slipped it in. So, please do not blame me for it.”

“Still playing innocent, eh? Perhaps staying in the prison cell will fix your rotten behavior.” The officer replies as both start dragging him.

In the end, the scared crowd distances themselves from a couple of officers taking away the young criminal while murmuring between themselves or rushing from the crime scene.

Meanwhile, Shiro is stubborn and indignantly addresses the people. “Help me! Let me go! How… How can anyone can be so blind and allow these bastards to do as they wish and commit crimes? You clearly have seen how they just taking an advance of their position and bullying average people! If we all unite, we can defeat these coward men and bring the justice!”

Yet, his speech is silenced by receiving a hit into his head by the sword handle.

“Hey, you better be careful with that! The commander may dislike him and we’ll get no reward if that brat is injured or dead.” The older man scolds his colleague.

After they approached their car and opened it, the other officer replied. “He’ll take him anyway and will even applaud us. Just look at him. He is the copy of that lousy secretary.”

When he picks an empty sack and rope, he orders. “Just make sure that he won’t try to escape.”

While his colleague holds Shiro tight, he puts the bag over him and wraps the surrounding rope.

“Where are you taking me?” The silver-haired male asks.

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn soon. So, you better behave yourself or else your parents may get very upset finding out that their dead son was a drug addict.” The older man explains as he tosses him like a sack of potatoes to the back seat.

Lastly, Shiro remains silent and feels anxious, without having any idea where he is taken or how these cruel men will torture him before his corpse is disposed of.

Some time passed. After the car stops, these men drag the restrained student and prompt him to go. However, very little he knows how drastically his cursed fate will change.

 

---

 

As time passes, Shiro becomes more uncomfortable and stiff by only walking in the never-ending corridors.

One thing is being treated like a criminal who gets closer to his execution. Another thing is the heavy, chilling, and unwelcoming atmosphere in the air and feeling watched by countless eyes that he cannot see.

Even on their way, Shiro becomes more concerned and pale after listening to how the older officer proudly explains to someone how they brought something that should interest the commander.

But for now, a couple of officers finally reach their destination place. Or so the silver-haired male assumes as he hears how one of these men knocks on the wooden door. “Commander, we brought him as you requested and you would love to see him.”

After a brief pause, the supreme ruler permits this couple to enter the office while dragging the sacrificial lamb.

Just from the menacing and cold energy surrounding this room, Shiro feels as if the ruthless tyrant’s eyes pierce his body. He can even swear that there is an invisible wire wrapped around him that cuts him if he makes a single move.

Perhaps this is how small animals feel being cornered and looked down on by the serpent. The gray-eyed male ponders.

“Show him to me. Or do you intend to waste my time?” Shiki briefly orders.

“R-right away, sir!” the older man agrees.

When the surrounding rope becomes loose and falls off, the bag is finally removed.

Suddenly, Shiro widens his eyes in terror and gasps upon seeing the military tyrant indifferently staring at him behind his desk. At that moment, the poor student trembles like a leaf and falls on his knees like a rag-doll. Fortunately, his weak body is supported by these men.

Meanwhile, Shiki stands up and approaches the offered creature, studying his every movement and facial expression.

After the red-eyed male stands in front of the unfortunate young man, he narrows his gaze.

For now, Shiro hisses in pain as one officer pulls his hair to lift his head and fixates his eyes on the supreme leader.

“How is it? Will he be enough for you, sir?” Another man asks impatiently.

Shiki only states. “His eyes are gray.”

“We can easily fix that! Please, just tell us what color you prefer and it will be done in no time. Whatever you wish for, we will adjust him in shape or form until you will be satisfied.” The other boasts.

Even if Shiro is speechless, his teary eyes speak louder than any words that beg for mercy.

In the end, the dark-haired male announces his final verdict. “There is no need. Leave him and you are dismissed.”

“B-but what about our reward for our hard work?” The older officer objects.

‘Tsk, what a bunch of greedy vermin…’ Shiki gives them a cold, disgusted look before picking a thick pile of bills from his uniform jacket and tossing it like food for the pigs, which eat anything like shameless animals.

As these men pick up the money, one of them bows and thanks before leaving the room. Lastly, Shiro is left alone to face the ruthless tyrant.

“Your name?” The supreme ruler addresses him. After receiving no answers, he adds. “Or do dogs like you don’t have it?”

Instead of saying anything, the silver-haired male only turns his head away and closes his eyes. Even if he accepts his bitter ending, he refuses to see it.

However, he immediately opens his gray eyes as the commander takes something from his pants pocket and fixates his eyes on him.

While Shiki studies the student ID card, he cracks a smile. “Heisei University? Isn’t it where you learn a bunch of useless nonsense?”

After he gracefully places the card on the desk, he continues his speech. “Well, whatever you’ve been taught here, you’ll be still a fine replacement.”

When Shiki walks behind his prey’s back, he picks his sword from the sheath. Lastly, he cuts the handcuffs.

At that moment, Shiro stares at the floor while leaning on his shaky hands.

A second later, the military tyrant orders. “Strip.”

For sure, it shocks the gray-eyed male, who only hugs himself. “No…”

Unfortunately, the poor student realizes he made a terrible mistake, and these red judging eyes will be the last thing he sees before he perishes.

Suddenly, he loudly gasps and closes his eyes as the naked blade slashes his uniform jacket and shirt.

Although, he still cannot comprehend how he is alive or even scratched as if the sword didn’t aim to cut through his flesh.

As soon as Shiro realizes that his back is exposed, he covers his chest with the remains of his clothing and murmurs. “Barbarian.”

As Shiki allows his sword to rest in the sheath, he gives a questioning look at the creature below him.

After he kneels in front of Shiro and grips his throat, he makes him face him. “Did you say anything? Speak louder.”

Without a second thought, the gray-eyed male shouts. “Barbarian!”

Meanwhile, Shiki only narrows his gaze after he grabs the student by his uniform and sends a harsh slap across his face. After removing the bothering clothing, he looks down on the fallen Shiro covering his stinging cheek. “You don’t understand against whom you raise your voice?”

When Shiro sits on one leg, he lowers his head and bites his lower lip. After a brief pause, he speaks up, nearly sobbing. “Why me? Why are you doing this? I did nothing wrong to deserve this!… First, these bastards framed me, then kidnapped me… And for what? Is human’s life worthless to you!? I hate this… I hate how it’s nothing more than a joke to you… So, kill me as anyone else who is nothing more than a pest for you… It’ll just prove that this country has fallen from the grace and rotten like a fish - starting from the head of it…”

The military tyrant only indifferently stares at the silver-haired male, who barely holds back from crying.

But for now, he reaches out for his unsheathed sword. When he is about to point the tip of it at Shiro’s cheek, the poor young man closes his eyes and shrugs while whimpering.

Who knew that someone similar to his personal secretary trembles like an aspen upon the smallest threat? On the other hand, maybe it’s for the better. After all, this stray animal learns quickly its place. More importantly, it might be interesting to see how his prized possession will react to this cheap imitation of him. Or so Shiki ponders.

When he narrows his gaze, he instructs him before taking his leave. “Wait here until I return.”

In the end, Shiro is left alone in the supreme ruler’s office while being eaten by uncertainty and anxiety.

 

---

 

A half-hour passes. However, the military tyrant hasn’t returned yet.

In the meantime, Shiro investigates his surroundings and realizes that he won’t escape this hell place in one piece.

Firstly, if he jumped through the window, he’d splatter his brain on the pavement.

Secondly, he may get shot or cut by the security guards. After all, the commander might be the unpredictable man who can think of anything to get what he wants.

Even if he stays here obediently, he may suffer like a war prisoner for speaking up his thoughts about this dictatorship and tyranny. On the other hand, he doesn’t understand why the commander hasn’t ordered to execute him or sent him to the labor camp as a dangerous person.

But for now, Shiro sits and leans his back against the leg of the desk while sinking deeper into despair.

Some time passed. Finally, the opening door and someone walking in makes the silver-haired male lift his head.

When Shiki approaches him, he tosses a pile of neatly folded clothes at him. “Wear this.”

After Shiro studies the given clothes, he notices it is some military uniform. Instead of asking unnecessary questions and not to anger the most powerful man in the country, he nods and answers in a gloomy voice. “Yes…”

Meanwhile, after Shiki sits behind his desk and crosses his legs, he places his elbows on the desk and rests his head on his hands.

At the moment, Shiro feels like he’ll burn from the embarrassment of being watched by how he undresses before changing his clothes.

It doesn’t help that the commander keeps the same poker face, making it difficult to read what is hiding behind these crimson eyes.

Despite that, the gray-eyed student doesn’t dare to ask Shiki to leave and endures such humiliation. On the other hand, it’s better than being forcibly undressed or threatened.

After Shiro handles the current task, he fixes his posture upon hearing the commander’s question. “Do you know why I asked you to wear this?”

“N-no, sir.” The gray-eyed male immediately replies.

“Starting today, you are my personal secretary.” Shiki announces.

“Then what about my studies?… Excuse me, but I cannot simply drop them.” The silver-haired male politely objects.

The supreme ruler gives a mocking look. “When you were supposed to be recruited in the army?”

After noticing how the secretary in front of him lowers his shoulders and widens his big, gray eyes as a scolded puppy, he cracks a smile. “After contacting the director of your university, I canceled them. Your mother was also informed about this as well. However, if you serve me well, I’ll fund your university.”

Yet, Shiro becomes pale and hangs his head as he sells his soul to the devil when he hears such a decision.

For sure, such an unexpected reaction entertains Shiki, and he asks. “What’s wrong? Anyone else would be ready to bite into each other’s throats just to be in your position. You’ll even support and honor your family.”

Meanwhile, Shiro understands that no matter how far he runs from the war and to avoid staining his hands with blood, he doesn’t escape his bitter fate. Yet, he is still curious whether he’ll be killed like Shiki’s previous secretary.

Therefore, he gathers all his courage and acts as formally as possible. “I’m… I’m sorry, sir. I just got overwhelmed a bit… and I won’t do it again. However, there is one thing that I need to ask, of course, if I can.”

After clenching his hands into fists, he asks. “If I’m not mistaken, you already had a secretary. Did anything happen to him?”

Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize that the commander can read him like an open, predictable book or that it is just a quick pass of time for him.

“He decided he needs to take a long vacation before he’ll be able to continue his duties.” Shiki calmly explains.

“I see…” the silver-haired secretary replies.

In the end, even if Shiro is aware this won’t end well, for now, he has to play along with his new role. Otherwise, his fears will come true.

After all, like any great leader, Commander Shiki is like a sun - for those who are far away from him will freeze to death, while those who are too close will burn. Therefore, one should aim for the perfect balance of staying around the middle.

Unfortunately, Shiro understands the harsh truth that his side was picked for him. And thus, he has to learn to live like constantly walking on eggshells for his own survival.

[Fmkitty]

Chapter 2.

 

 

Thus, within the first sunbeams breaking through the gaps of the curtains and the chirping birds outside, Shiro finally stretches out and opens his eyes.

However, when the silver-haired young man instinctively rolls to check the time, he realizes his mother won’t call him for breakfast this morning. After all, it’s not even his room, or he belongs here.

Shiro is still surprised at how he slept in such a place.

Even the luxurious, pre-war Western design apartment, which the most powerful man in the country assigned to him after learning about his new routine, is alien to him, and he cannot get used to living there.

More so, unlike Shiro’s home, it lacks comfort and warmth.

Thankfully, the old wall phone links him to a bygone era he can't revisit. That’s why hearing his mother’s voice brings him an overwhelming sense of comfort.

In any case, he understands that he must get up and prepare for today.

Some time passed. As Shiro stands before the mirror, he fixes the tie and the collar and puts on the military cap on his head.

When his gloved palm brushes through the fabric of his uniform, he softens his gaze and sighs.

No matter how difficult for him to believe, the military secretary who faces him in the mirror reflection is him.

It’s not just a strange dream, but a new reality he must accept. After all, he is now a subordinate of the ruthless tyrant who rules with an iron fist, no longer a student of Heisei University.

He also understands that this uniform is not a decoration, but a sign of high status. With it comes a mountain of responsibilities that Shiro hopes not to be overwhelmed in a single day.

Suddenly, his further thoughts are interrupted by the beeping car outside. Currently, the secretary with silver hair recollects Commander Shiki mentioning that he will be picked up by one of his drivers in the morning.

Instead of wasting more time, Shiro puts on the long, dark coat and leaves through the door.

Thus, he mentally prepares himself for starting not just a day but also a new chapter in his life, with its challenges and hardships.

 

---

 

After a while, he arrives at the office building. Unlike yesterday, the driver holds the car door open for him, and the guards salute him and allow him inside.

For sure such a change of attitude towards him contrasts with day and night.

At the moment, he is unsure whether people around him respect him out of fear of violating the commander’s orders.

Even when a few officers see him, they fix themselves when they accidentally speak Captain Akira’s name.

Yet, he cannot bring himself to be mad at the same people who mistreated him. He was just an alien here, and they were only following the orders, right? Shiro wonders while being escorted to Shiki’s office.

Soon enough, the gray-eyed male arrives at the office, and the person leading him knocks on the door, informing him about his presence. After receiving permission, this man opens the door and lets Shiro inside.

 

---

 

When the door closes behind the silver-haired secretary, he politely bows.

Meanwhile, the commander instructs him. “Hang your coat and come here.”

“Y-yes, sir.” Shiro briefly answers in a gentle voice. But for now, the old typing machine catches his attention.

When he handles the current task, he receives another one. “Hopefully, you can type fast.”

As Shiki stands up and his gaze points to his chair, he continues. “Sit. Or do you prefer to stand?”

Instead of saying anything, the secretary remains silent, and before sitting down, he nods.

“Today, your task is to prepare me a report detailing the current status of personnel within the division. Include information on deployments, training schedules, and any personnel changes. Ensure accuracy and timeliness. Understand?” The commander instructs.

“Yes… Right away, sir.” The silver-haired secretary immediately yet politely answers.

Lastly, Shiki adds while keeping a stoic posture. “Good. But first, you will help to write a couple of letters.”

And thus, Shiro’s first day as a secretary begins.

 

---

 

Some time passed. After Shiro finishes working on the requested documents, he sits back and checks the time on the clock hanging on the wall.

Suddenly, he widens his eyes and stands up. After all, it’s already past the supposed afternoon tea time.

Without wasting time, the silver-haired secretary rushes through the door while he forgets to take the papers.

After a while, Shiro reaches the commander’s office door. Of course, he struggled to navigate in the new place, and he couldn’t memorize the directions on his first day at the job.

While he still catches his breath, he knocks on the door. “Pardon for the intrusion, sir. However, may I come in, please?”

When he receives the permission, he enters inside while preparing himself for the worst.

“Close the door and come here.” The dark-haired male orders with sensible irritation in his voice while sitting behind his desk.

As Shiro lowers his gaze and nods, he does what is said. At least, it’s the least he can do to avoid further angering the commander.

“Do you ever check the time? Next time, set a reminder or use the alarm clock if get lost in time.” Shiki speaks while observing how his subordinate is so stiff.

For sure, the gray-eyed secretary can see that the supreme ruler is containing his disappointment. Nevertheless, he tries to appeal to him. “I’m terribly sorry… I… Let me rush to the staff kitchen and quickly- ”

However, when Shiki raises his palm, Shiro immediately closes his mouth and straightens his back.

After a brief pause, the military tyrant lowers it. “There is no need for that. You are dismissed.”

“What about the report you’ve asked for?” Shiro objects. After he realizes perhaps he used the wrong tone, he covers his mouth with his palm and shrugs.

But for now, he notices the commander keeps his anger and annoyance behind his poker face.

As Shiki clenches his fist, he replies. “Leave it on my desk. Then you can leave for today.”

In the end, when Shiro bows, his military cap falls from his head. Despite embarrassing himself like this, he remains as formal as possible. “I understand. And I’m sorry for causing the problems. I’ll make sure it won’t happen.”

After the silver-haired male leaves, Shiki face-palms and rubs his temples.

This boy resembles his prized possession. Yet, he strongly lacks his will and discipline. In this case, training a bear to ride a bicycle is much simpler compared to whatever he is. Or so the supreme ruler ponders.

 

---

 

A couple more days have passed. However, instead of being responsible for the paperwork or attending important meetings, Shiro was assigned to clean the commander’s office and run basic errands.

For sure, the silver-haired secretary was partially relieved that his shoulders were lifted from carrying so much responsibility. On the other hand, he senses that it might be a bad sign.

After all, if he makes another mistake, Commander Shiki might silently discard him, and no one will notice it.

But it’s okay. Shiro avoided getting into trouble that would upset the commander this time.

More so, he hasn’t received any complaints from the others either. Or so Shiro comforts himself as he prepares a pot of tea and sets out cups on the silver tray before leaving the kitchen.

 

---

 

Some time passes. Finally, as the gray-eyed secretary takes a deep breath and straightens his back, he enters the supreme ruler’s office.

After politely greeting Shiki as usual, he closes the door behind him.

Unfortunately, one wrong step on the tiny wrinkle on the crimson carpet is enough for Shiro to trip over.

At that moment, he can swear that the time has stopped, and he hears his slowdown respiring and his heartbeat ringing inside his head.

However, the harsh landing on the ground and shattered porcelain is enough to return him to his senses.

After the silver-haired secretary manages to get up shakily and half-sit, he widens his eyes and lifts his head.

All he can do is stare at the military tyrant, who is irritated and disappointed.

When Shiro places his shaky palms on the ground, he closes his eyes and bows. “I-I’m... I’m terribly sorry! Please forgive me! I-”

Suddenly, the door opens and the loud, rushing footsteps silence him and make him turn toward the concerned young male’s voice. “Commander!-”

For now, Shiro only observes the other military secretary, who not only wears the same uniform as him but also looks identical to him.

However, when that unknown young man notices him, he only dumbfounded stares back at him.

“What are you doing here?” The commander asks the blue-eyed male, who stormed into the room.

Meanwhile, Shiro decides to wait silently and see how this plays out before receiving his punishment.

“I heard a weird noise behind the door, and I needed to see whether you are safe, sir,” Akira politely replies.

When his blue eyes point at the supposed-to-be impostor, he returns his questioning gaze to Shiki. “Please forgive me for my rudeness, but who is this incompetent fool? And what is he doing in your office?”

“That is your substitute until you recover and are ready to go back to work,” Shiki states while keeping a serious look on his face.

Meanwhile, Shiro is concerned that the preserved military secretary’s posture and face change into briefly bewildered.

Soon, Akira fixes his shoulders while being as professional as possible. “I have no right to judge but to support you and your decisions, sir. However, please reconsider who will be able to serve you. If you wish, I can help you with that.”

However, Shiki raises an eyebrow while keeping a serious look on his face and asks. “Are you telling me what to do?”

The blue-eyed male shakes his head. “No. Not all.”

After a brief pause, Akira points with his palm at his new threat to the commander. “But this worthless thing will only mess up everything, even if you entrust him with the most simple tasks. More importantly, you’ll endanger yourself if you let this creature anywhere close to you!”

When he deeply exhales, he continues his speech while pressing his palm against his chest. “I won’t allow him to leave peacefully if anything happens to you... That’s why, if you excuse me, I need to talk in-person with him and discipline him accordingly.”

Shiro only gasps and crawls back when the ruthless secretary approaches him.

After Akira kneels and roughly grabs him by his uniform, the gray-eyed young man shrugs and whimpers.

However, he ignores Shiro’s discomfort and scolds him. “Get up already! Whining won’t help you. So, at least have some shame to face your punishment properly!”

Certainly, there is no mercy in these ice-cold, unforgiving blue eyes, showing pure fury and disgust towards his victim.

So, it’s a matter of seconds before he’ll be shredded into pieces. Or so Shiro assumes as he trembles like a leaf.

Lastly, Akira raises his hand and is about to send a powerful slap. However, his palm stops in the middle and freezes upon hearing Shiki’s strict command. “Enough! Release him and come here.”

Meanwhile, after Shiro carefully opens his eyes, his gaze follows the other secretary, who faces the supreme ruler.

As Shiki exhales, he narrows his gaze and addresses his loyal subordinate. “When did you grow so bold to lash out at your colleagues?”

“That is!-” Akira objects.

However, his voice is cut off when the military tyrant raises his palm.

After Shiki lowers his palm, he fixates his piercing red eyes on his subordinate and orders. “Do not argue with me.”

At the moment, only observing how Akira keeps a straight posture without moving makes Shiro worry about his well-being.

When the commander rests his chin on his palms, he continues to discipline the blue-eyed secretary without removing his eyes from him. “You even disobey and do not follow orders. Perhaps firing you may help you understand your place.”

These words finally crack Akira’s poker face, and he lowers his head like a guilty puppy who only accepts his master’s harsh decision.

But for now, Shiro’s heart skips a beat when Shiki looks his way for a while.

Lastly, the fearful tyrant turns his gaze to his personal secretary and announces his final verdict. “Starting today, you need to treat him like any of your men.”

For now, Shiki is amused by his subordinate’s confused face, and he adds. “You will be able to do this. So, when you are ready to return to your duties, you will train him to become a fine secretary to replace you when you get sick or need a day off. Any objections?”

No matter how Akira dislikes this decision and finds it a pointless task, he doesn’t object and nods. “‘Yes. I understand.”

Meanwhile, even the gray-eyed male still cannot comprehend what just happened and feels like it is nothing more than a strange dream.

Suddenly, he gets startled by Shiki calmly addressing him. “Call the cleaner to my office, and then you are free for the rest of the day.”

Fortunately, it’s enough for the fear and guilt to vanish in Shiro’s eyes and to be replaced by the sparkle of hope and innocent excitement. Thus, the light-haired male immediately responds. “Y-yes, sir!”

However, Akira’s strict voice ground him. “Do you know with whom you are talking? Show the proper respect, you fool!”

Lastly, after Shiro stands up and before taking his leave, he silently bows and closes the door.

 

---

 

For sure, it was a close one. So, it’s a pure miracle that he managed to survive. The secretary ponders while feeling like a huge boulder was removed from his chest.

On the other hand, Shiro is uncertain about what awaits him tomorrow.

After all, Commander Shiki’s personal secretary is scary and strict. So, who knows whether he’ll prepare a living hell of training for him? Suddenly, Shiro shivers and rubs his arms just at the thought of what Akira will do to him when they are alone in his office.

[Fmkitty]

Chapter 3.

 

 

Another day passes.

After Shiro receives the permission, he enters Captain Akira’s office without knowing what to expect.

To his surprise, the preserved military secretary politely greets him and even offers to take a seat.

Without a second thought, the gray-eyed male nods.

When he picks the nearest chair, he brings it in front of Akira’s desk.

After Shiro sits, he straightens his back while keeping his clenched hands on his lap.

Meanwhile, Akira doesn’t remove his eyes from the supposed-to-be replacement.

There is simply something off about him he doesn’t like, but he cannot put his finger on it. The blue-eyed secretary thinks while narrowing his gaze.

What does the commander think of picking an inexperienced fellow who is not suitable even for the most basic manual labor? The military secretary wonders.

It may have been nothing more than another decision by Shiki, which he made on a whim. It can’t be otherwise, right? The blue-eyed male ponders after narrowing his gaze and almost making his colleague jump from his seat.

Besides, he knows the commander better than anyone else. So, there is no way he would pick a secretary based on his looks or other unrelated traits. Akira thinks to himself while hiding the rising unexplained irritation towards Shiro behind his poker face.

Yet Akira’s suspicious intuition tells him that something is not right about his new colleague.

Despite that, he has to overcome these irrational emotions and aim for no less than perfection and be praised by Shiki.

More importantly, it would be wrong to judge anyone without knowing them well, or at least their background and true intentions. Or so the preserved military secretary convinces himself.

Suddenly, his further thoughts are interrupted by Shiro’s slightly shaky voice. “Excuse me. Is there anything wrong, sir?”

At that moment, Akira only closes his eyes and takes a breath.

After he opens his eyes, he answers. “Do not pay attention to it. It’s nothing important.”

Nevertheless, the blue-eyed male let his curiosity win.

After a brief pause, Akira opens his mouth to ask. “In any case… Before we begin, I need to ask you something. What exactly were your duties when I was gone?”

At first, Shiro is confused, but a second later, he confesses. “Um, the commander asked me to do is to keep his office clean, prepare him tea, and stay quiet during the meetings. That’s all.”

After hearing such an answer, the blue-eyed secretary covers his mouth and turns his head away. He even clenches his gloved palm while he slightly frowns and silently exhales.

It is upsetting to hear that the commander is burying himself in more work, if not doing all the work alone, with no one taking care of him.

On the other hand, Akira doesn’t want to allow himself to vent his frustrations on some newbie and disappoint Shiki by recklessly lashing out and not handling it like a professional.

Yet, Shiro’s concerned voice makes him widen his eyes and turn back. “Did… Did I say anything wrong, sir? I… I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Soon, Akira straightens his back and sits back while keeping his serious face. “Either way, do you know why did I called you?”

The younger secretary only shakes his head.

When Akira places his entwined palms on his desk, he explains. “Today, we will start with the basics and I will introduce you to your future routine.”

After he stands up gracefully and takes the papers in his hand, he leaves the desk side and adds. “For today, you will be only foreshadowing me. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask me. Is that clear?”

“Y-yes. I understand!” Shiro responds immediately.

It might not be a simple task to train someone like him.

On the other hand, there must be something about this young man if the commander decides to keep him alive. Therefore, it shouldn’t be even a word impossible for him.

Otherwise, the commander’s hair may become gray hair instantly, and his well-being, if not his life, will be threatened. Akira thinks to himself while he keeps the documents close to him.

But for now, he decides to take this as Shiki’s thrown challenge that he cannot lose.

Therefore, he is determined to take this unskilled young man under his wing and train him to become a flawless secretary who will serve the most powerful man in the country.

In the end, Akira prompts the younger secretary to follow him.

After leaving the office, Shiro’s intense training begins.

Unfortunately, the very little that Shiro knows is that Shiki’s personal secretary will not go easy on him.

---

As time passed, Shiro carefully observed and followed his mentor without leaving his side.

It is impressive to see how Captain Akira, despite his serious demeanor, respects and cares for his squad. Thus, the younger secretary slowly starts admiring him.

More so, his men are not indifferent toward him and follow his every command without questioning him or fear.

Despite Akira’s strict disciplinary methods and not wasting time, even on unnecessary words or actions, his squad trusts him enough to ask him anything and receive brief but precise answers or advice.

Will this be a part of his duties someday?

After all, it’s a challenging task to not only manage that many people but also make them listen to you.

Besides, it might be impossible to handle it alone for someone like Shiro. Not just when he feels that many eyes on him, staring at him like someone who doesn’t belong here or is as confused as he is.

More importantly, even by Akira’s side, he feels nervous that he wants to hide behind his back. So, how will he manage without the military secretary’s guidance? Shiro wonders.

But for now, Akira prompts him to move to further tasks.

---

Some time has passed. Finally, it is almost time to serve the afternoon tea and snacks.

That is the most basic thing that he can do well despite yesterday’s incident. Shiro assumes as they both head toward the kitchen.

Even in this case, Akira proves him wrong again.

The military secretary not only demonstrates but also explains the proper techniques for brewing coffee or preparing tea.

As Akira places the teapot with a couple of cups and snacks on the silver tray, he is interrupted by Shiro. “Um, wouldn’t be much simpler just to boil the kettle and to wait for a few minutes? It would save some time and it may just taste the same.”

“Wouldn’t be much easier for you to drink from the puddle? The water is water, right?” the military secretary turns his head while balancing the tray.

A second later, he adds in a slightly irritated voice. “Hopefully, you haven’t prepared tea or coffee in such a primitive way and served it to the commander, did you?”

Meanwhile, Shiro only shrugs while avoiding facing his mentor without being sure what to say.

Just before opening the door and leaving, Akira nags at him while trying to remain patient. “I have no interest in how you prepare for yourself. You can do it like you wish.”

After leaving the kitchen and heading towards Shiki’s office, the military secretary lectures his disciple. “However, you must keep in mind that you are serving for the most important person in the country. That’s why you have to aim for perfection and put all your heart into any given task and believe what you’re doing.”

Within each of Akira’s spoken words, his given speech becomes more passionate.

But for now, he closes his blue eyes and respires.

After a brief pause, Shiki’s loyal subordinate continues. “Otherwise, you will only disappoint yourself and the commander by your half-baked work. More importantly, if you prioritize the commander’s well-being and his satisfaction, and respect him, he will notice your effort and you won’t be unrewarded.”

As he finishes his speech, he turns to Shiro’s side. “Hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Y-yes…” the gray-eyed male immediately responds.

The very little that they knew was that Shiki was listening to them just around the corner and delighted not just by Akira’s words but at how he expressed them.

Nevertheless, instead of approaching his personal secretary, he heads to his office and waits for him to show up.

Besides, he will spoil his precious prized possession with attention in private as soon as he dismisses the unwanted company for today. The military tyrant reminds himself while keeping a smug look on his face.

---

Soon enough, a couple of secretaries reach Shiki’s office.

When Akira straightens his back, he knocks on the door. “Sorry for intruding. I’ve brought you tea, sir. May I come in, please?”

After receiving the permission, he opens the door without making the content of the entire tray shake.

A second later, Shiro understands he should follow his mentor even if he prefers to stay away from the commander, sensing that his presence might be unnecessary.

---

After Akira closes the door behind them, Shiki’s question makes him lift his head. “What is he doing here?”

“I beg your pardon, sir. Starting today, Shiro is foreshadowing me before he is ready to work,” the military secretary explains.

When he gets closer and places the tray with the afternoon treats on the commander’s desk, he adds while keeping a poker face. “That’s why I need also to show him how to properly to serve and help you to relax, sir.”

While the silver-haired secretary fills his cup, Shiki closes his eyes and raises his palm. “There is no need for that.”

Akira only lifts his eyes. After he places the teapot on the tray, he listens to the commander. “You are back on duties, correct? So, I don’t need anyone else to do it while you are here.”

Hearing these words surprises the preserved secretary that he momentarily loses the gift of speech.

Meanwhile, Shiro leans his back against the closed door and carefully observes.

Yet, he nearly gets startled when Shiki looks in his direction and addresses him. “You are still here? You can leave now.”

Thus, the gray-eyed young man responds. “Yes, sir!”

Lastly, before leaving, he nods.

---

The military tyrant is finally able to enjoy the company of his loyal subordinate without any disturbances.

But for now, Shiki addresses him. “And you - are you going to stand like this? Sit down.”

Of course, Akira doesn’t object.

After he brings the chair, he makes himself comfortable.

Before he takes a sip of tea, he comments. “You look so happy today, sir. Did anything good happen?”

While the commander’s crimson eyes sparkle with excitement, he cracks a smile. “Is there anything wrong with having my secretary by on my side again?”

Such an answer makes Akira turn his head and hide his blushing gaze.

However, feeling how Shiki places his palm on his hand and strokes it making the secretary face him.

It seems that the commander even goes further.

After Shiki masterly slides his fingers under his subordinate’s glove and gently runs his fingertips against his skin.

At that moment, Akira realizes he has become this large feline toy again.

More importantly, his poker face cracks, and lets out a lovely sigh while Shiki teases him like this.

For now, the military secretary shakily closes his eyes and speaks up in a softer tone. “Sir, it’s not a time or place for it…”

Unfortunately, his words don’t reach the commander.

Soon, Shiki leans closer and brings his subordinate closer by holding him by his tie.

After such a gesture, Akira opens his big blue eyes, and his heart skips a beat upon noticing how Shiki fixates his strangely sleepy eyes on him.

“Looks like I have to remind you of your place.” The supreme ruler comments as he narrows his gaze.

Just before he pulls his adored secretary into a kiss…

Suddenly, the dark-haired male widens his eyes as Akira brings a pile of papers to separate them.

As the silver-haired male lowers, he lowers his gaze. “I’ll ask you again - did anything happen? Or… ”

After a brief pause, he widens his eyes upon the sudden realization. “Are you upset that I work slower than I supposed to?”

When he stares at Shiki with guilty eyes, he adds. “If that is a case, I’m terribly sorry. And I understand that teaching someone while I have my own duties is not an excuse.”

Lastly, the preserved secretary confesses. “However, I have to make sure that if anything happens that I won’t be able to stay by your side, at least you will have an excellent replacement that you can be proud of. And, of course, if you are in doubt or wish to see my training methods, you can check on me whenever you wish.”

‘How adorable…’ Shiki wonders without removing his crimson eyes from his prize-possession.

---

After Shiki stands up, he approaches his subordinate gracefully, like a feline.

Meanwhile, Akira only gives him a questioning look. “Sir?”

Instead of saying anything, the ebony-haired male takes his partner’s wrist and pulls him closer.

For now, the military secretary has no choice but to stand up while Shiki wraps his arm around his waist.

Even when Shiki releases his wrist, Akira keeps his thrown arm on his shoulder.

As the commander gently tilts his subordinate’s chin, he stares at him with admiring eyes. “How can you always never fail to amaze me?”

At that moment, the silver-haired male does his best to keep a straight face.

Unfortunately, it’s not a simple task. Not when Akira feels how Shiki has wrapped his invisible panther tail around his thigh.

For now, he impatiently waits for his partner’s next move.

To his surprise, nothing happens.

A few moments later, the commander removes his hand from his face and lifts his cap.

Upon Shiki lands his palm on Akira’s head, he ruffles his hair.

Lastly, he puts on his subordinate’s cap back. “What is it with you? That’s all for now.”

When Akira notices that feline-like smirk, he understands it may not end well.

Thus, Shiki’s hand slides down to his bottom and massages it.

Despite that, he listens to the commander’s sweet words. “... Unless you want something specific. Then you have to state it clearly.”

Instead of giving to this man’s provocation, Akira places his palms on Shiki’s chest and replies. “The break may end soon and you won’t rest again, sir.”

After gently pushing him away, the silver-haired male adds while keeping his demanding eyes on Shiki. “More importantly, you haven’t reviewed the documents that I sent you earlier yet. So, please take it more seriously… It’s all I ask for.”

“Duties before the pleasure, as always...” the dark-haired male murmurs while crossing his arms and holding his chin.

When Akira steps back, Shiki takes a step forward and addresses him. “What if one of your duties would be satisfying your master?”

After a brief pause, he smirks and adds in a suggestive tone. “Will you train your colleague for that as well?”

Meanwhile, Akira lowers his gaze and turns his head while biting his lower lip.

Even the thought of the commander embracing anyone else than him alone hurt him like a knife. Or so the military secretary keeps in his mind while clenching his chest.

After he closes his blue, gloomy eyes, he exhales and lowers his shoulders. “Then do whatever you wish or just kill me here. This is the only order that I will disobey… Even if that is very selfish of me.”

Yet, when he feels how the beloved hand strokes his cheek, he widens his eyes.

When their eyes meet, Akira cannot help himself but feel how the heat rushes to his cheeks.

Shiki softens his gaze and comments in a nearly purring voice. “How are you able to spit such adorable words with this mouth?… Hmph. As if anyone else will satisfy me or is worth standing by my side. Never forget - I’m not interested in not my belongings.”

After he sighs, he continues in a more formal tone. “However, if you insist so badly, you will assist me for the rest of the day. Understand?”

Hearing this answer pushes the heavy boulder from Akira’s chest.

Lastly, the blue-eyed secretary closes his eyes and nods. “Yes.”

Unfortunately, very little does the military secretary realize his disciple may display the results of his hard work sooner than he expects.

[Fmkitty]

Chapter 4.

 

 

A week has passed since Shiro’s training began.

And the gray-haired young man already shows significant results compared to the first day he was brought here.

That’s right, from volunteering to perform the basic tasks, such as cleaning the office or running errands, to navigate without becoming lost.

However, Captain Akira still does not allow him to do the paperwork and only lets him observe.

‘So, the captain still doesn’t trust me enough yet?’ Shiro wonders as he closes his eyes and sighs while hugging the documents.

“However, I wonder what Akira-san could mean by wanting to show me something important.” The gray-eyed secretary murmurs as he picks up a silver pocket watch.

After checking the time and closing the watch, he adds. “In any case, I have to hurry and let him review these papers first.”

But for now, Shiro heads to Akira’s office.

---

Some time has passed.

After a long walk in the corridor, a couple of secretaries arrive at the iron gate, which Shiro has never seen before.

For some reason, his guts telling him he should turn back and leave.

Despite that, before opening the gate, Akira turns his head and addresses him. “Let’s go.”

No matter how Shiro doesn’t want to go, he understands that he will only get scolded by his senior if he objects.

After he lowers his gaze, he nods. “Yes.”

Even upon entering and taking the first steps into the staircase to the basement, Shiro is already tense.

Just when he thought nothing will beat the intense and cold atmosphere of the office building, he is proven wrong again.

At least by a miracle, Shiro eventually got used to working there as if it was any other job he could imagine.

More importantly, he could still see the daylight and the life on the surface through the office windows and feel like he was in the living world.

However, as he stares into cold, gray concrete walls lighten up with naked light bulbs, he feels like going closer to the gateway to the netherworld.

At this point, it is difficult for him to distinguish which is louder - his heartbeat or the echoing footsteps.

More so, Shiro cannot comprehend how Akira is unaffected by the unwelcoming atmosphere.

‘Perhaps it’s only in my mind. What if the captain only wants me to show me where is the archive? That’s right, there shouldn’t be any reason to be afraid, right?’ Shiro ponders while shrugging and staying close to the military secretary.

After this couple reaches the end, a metal bar door greets them.

When the younger secretary takes a step back, he lands on his bottom and whimpers.

For sure, it makes Akira to turn his head. After he closes his blue eyes, he sighs. “Please be careful.”

While Shiro rests his palms on the stone stairs and tries to get up, he asks. “Sir, where are you taking me? Please… I didn’t do anything wrong. Even if I did, please forgive me!”

Yet, Akira only facepalms and backfires in his usual calm voice. “What are you talking about? If you are going to change me temporarily, then I must prepare you so that you won’t get confused, even for this task.”

As the reserved secretary opens the door, Shiro nods. “Yes…”

---

Suddenly, the gray-haired male straightens his back upon the door closing behind him.

He follows the military secretary down the dark corridor, feeling goosebumps from the chill air.

More so, the only noise that kills the eery silence is their footsteps. At some point, Shiro can even swear that he can sense the Death itself walking beside them.

Upon reaching the end of the corridor, the gray-eyed secretary notices a pair of guards stationed to the left, standing watch over a secured door.

Even if they are standing still without a single movement, he understands that a single wrong gesture or breath and these men may kill anyone in sight.

‘Just what kind of place is this?’ Shiro ponders.

When Akira approaches the security guards, they salute the military secretary. After they move aside, they open door the door and nod.

Without further ado, he places his hand behind Shiro’s back and gently pushes him forward.

Of course, the gray-eyed secretary has no time for hesitation and enters the protected room.

---

There’s so little light that only the closing door gap illuminates the room. Even so, they are not alone.

The sound of the rustling chains and the faith moaning with the weak breathing of someone already gives bad shivers down his spine.

Yet, upon the clicking switch, this place lightens up, revealing its form.

Suddenly, Shiro widens his eyes.

As he shakily covers his mouth with his gloved palm, he whispers while leaning against the wall near the exit door that supports his body. “Goodness, gracious me… Where am I?”

Apparently, there is a man in chains wearing torn clothes that resemble the uniform of the recently formed rebel organization. Even through the holes in his tattered outfit, there are visible bruises.

Yet, he shows no signs of life and keeps his hung head.

Meanwhile, Akira walks towards the wrapped water hose hung on the wall.

After the military secretary takes it into his hands and aims at the prisoner, he gazes at Shiro with his ice-cold blue eyes. “Come here.”

Of course, the gray-eyed male’s fear has overtaken his frozen body. However, even in such a state, he knows he is not in a position to disobey Captain Akira.

Shiro heard the talk among the soldiers or even high-ranked generals about how those who dared not follow Akira’s orders or hurt him may face the commander’s merciless judgment.

He also heard Shiki’s personal secretary might be secretly in charge and using the commander as his puppet while whispering to him how to run a country. However, that is only an unproven rumor.

Besides, Shiro noticed the captain is the only person who is not afraid of Shiki while genially believing in him or has never questioned his decisions.

Either way, the gray-eyed secretary forces himself to approach his senior.

After he gets close to the level, he grips it. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tries to move, it remains still.

“Sir, it stuck. It… it doesn’t move, no matter what I do.” Shiro explains while placing his foot on the wall for a better grip.

Meanwhile, Akira closes his eyes and sighs. “You are turning in the wrong direction.”

“I… I see!” the younger secretary responds.

Soon enough, a powerful stream of freezing water splashes at the prisoner and makes him scream in pain.

“It’s enough. Turn it off!” The military secretary orders him.

This time, Shiro manages to turn off the hose in seconds.

But for now, he lowers his arms and shakes his hands.

Yet, he immediately fixes his posture upon Akira’s strict voice. “You’re finally waking up? Good.”

As the soaked man trembles like a leaf, he closes his eyes and begs. “Please forgive me! I do not know anything! I AM INNOCENT, I SWEAR!”

After Akira tosses the water hose, he backfires while keeping his stoic demeanor. “Is this all you have to say?”

A second later, he turns his head toward Shiro. “Do you see the tool table over there? Please bring me the bullwhip.”

“Y-yes, sir!” The gray-eyed secretary nods and rushes to the end of the room.

Even so, Shiro is confused by such a variety of weaponry. Also, who knows what else is hidden in these rusty metal drawers?

When he picks the first weapon in sight, he hopes that this is what the captain wants.

After he handles a black leather whip, Akira silently nods and asks him while pointing at the exhausted prisoner. “Before we begin, what’s this?”

Shiro gives a questioning look. “Eh?… I don’t quite understand your question, sir.”

However, Akira only closes his eyes and crosses his arms.

After a brief pause, the gray-haired secretary clenches his palms into fists and answers. “Er, a rebel?”

Suddenly, he receives a slap across his face and the captain’s unfriendly reply. “Wrong.”

While Shiro carefully touches his hurt cheek, he nervously bites his lower lip and gives another answer. “A criminal?”

Once again, the room echoes with another harsh hit and Akira’s calm voice. “Try again.”

For now, Shiro shakily closes his eyes and shrugs. “A very bad person?”

Akira only exhales and politely asks. “Is there any other person among us? Please show me because I don’t see anybody aside from us.”

At that moment, Shiro can feel how tense his body is.

However, just as he lifts his arm and points at the chained struggling man, he nearly jumps from the same spot by the cracking whip and that man whimpering.

A second later, Akira scolds the prisoner. “Did you get permission to speak? No? So, stay quiet.”

“S-sir, don’t you think that is too much?” the gray-eyed male asks after nervously swallowing the saliva.

“What are you talking about? Shiro, let me ask you something - what will you do if your crops are being destroyed by the bugs?”

After briefly lowering his gaze, he lifts his gray eyes and replies. “… I would get rid of them or hire who could do it for me, sir.”

“Correct. So, what is the difference between a pest and that man?” Akira speaks and stretches the whip.

Yet, Shiro objects. “But, sir, he is a living person even if he did something wrong.”

In the end, Akira patiently explains. “Wrong. Both are nothing more than insects. One by its nature, while the other one by going against the commander and committing severe crimes. That’s why you should crush them without feeling bad for them. Do insects scream in pain when you kill them? So, let them be while you eliminate these parasites one by one.”

But for now, the blue-eyed secretary adds. “Stand back. As the secretary of the most powerful man in the country, you should never taint your white gloves or uniform with insects fluids.”

After Shiro takes a few steps back, he covers his ears and closes his eyes.

When Akira notices his subordinate’s cowardly behavior, he narrows his gaze. “So, this is how it is…”

Lastly, he approaches the exit door and leaves the room while carrying his trustworthy weapon.

At that moment, Shiro is left alone in the room with a suffering man without knowing what the captain has planned.

Soon, Akira returns. However, he is not alone.

Apparently, the same security guards are behind his back.

After he turns his head, he briefly orders them. “Hold him and make sure that he won’t look away.”.

The guards only nod in synchronicity and follow the command. “Yes, sir.”

Shiro gasps as one man presses his body against him and locks his arms, making sure that he won’t escape.

Such a raw force scares the gray-eyed male, but he understands he cannot fight back on well-trained soldiers.

But for now, as another guard grasps his face and lifts his head, Shiro cannot turn his head.

Lastly, his heart drops to his heels upon hearing Akira’s impersonal voice before he cracks the whip. “Please watch carefully how you should treat the insects.”

---

Just the sound of the cutting flesh and the prisoner’s screams and cries for help already makes Shiro shiver.

No matter how he instinctively attempts to close his eyes or at least turn his head away, he is forced to witness how the whip gracefully dances in Akira’s hand and tears the prisoner’s skin.

When the gray-eyed male shakily breathes, his skin becomes as pale as a sheet of paper.

Soon, Shiro barely holds back from gagging and throwing out as the piece of the tortured prisoner’s piece of flesh hits the floor.

However, he swallows back the vomit instead of throwing it out and dirtying his and soldiers’ uniforms.

It’s disgusting. It’s wrong. How and why humans are so cruel to each other? Even wild predators are more humane to their caught prey. So, why? Why?! Shiro wonders while doing his best not to cry and feeling the acidic after-taste in his mouth.

Eventually, he cannot remove his eyes from the messed-up view in front of him.

At this point, it’s like watching an awful train wreck. Both are terrifying things, but you are so helpless that all you can do is stare.

In this case, dealing with death and deciding who is guilty and who is not is just a part of the gray routine in the military office.

Even the guards that keep Shiro in his place to observe the captain delivering the punishment to the rebel, as it is nothing new to them.

And these are the same men and women who, after a long day, return to their homes and leave their uniform, can laugh and hug their loved ones, and live an average life like they do not commit these atrocities against humanity… The gray-haired male realizes.

More importantly, the people cherish and respect the military as their heroes because they only see them as protectors of the country, giving them a fake sense of security, without realizing that behind the neat and glamorous uniform, they act like demons.

It’s cruel. However, there is nothing that Shiro can do about this corrupted system nor overturn the ruthless regime.

After all, it’s already decided for him that he is nothing more than another cog in the machine that must live up to someone’s ideals. Shiro thinks as he watches Akira pick his sword from the sheath and cut the prisoner’s life thread.

---

Some time has passed.

Even after leaving the basement floor, Shiro still cannot comprehend what he had to witness.

But for now, the gray-eyed male finishes washing his face with lukewarm tap water.

As he stares into his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he wipes his face and notices how slightly the colors have returned to his cheeks.

However, that distant gaze in his empty eyes and pale skin remains.

After Shiro closes his eyes and slaps his cheeks, he convinces himself to hurry. After all, he doesn’t want to make the captain wait.

---

After a while, a couple of secretaries are on their way to the library.

However, only the military secretary’s hit on his head returns Shiro to his senses.

“Please pay attention. Do you know who is in front of you?” Akira reminds him as he slightly frowns.

A second later, the military secretary turns to the commander. After he closes his blue eyes, he lowers his head. “Please excuse me for my disciple’s behavior, sir.”

Yet, Shiro lowers his gaze and murmurs. “I’m sorry…”

Meanwhile, Shiki studies the spacing young man and cracks a smile.

A second later, he addresses his loyal subordinate. “He looks different today. What did you do?”

While Akira keeps his straight back, he honestly responds. “I’ve shown him how he should deal with anyone who dares to go against you, sir.”

“Why?” the commander raises his eyebrow.

Just before the blue-eyed secretary opens his mouth, Shiki interrupts him. “I’ve asked you to train to become your substitute, isn’t it?”

“That’s right! And today I’ve only introduced one of his future duties, sir.” Akira immediately answers.

Yet, the dark-haired male only crosses his arms. “I’m asking you again - Why?”

At first, such a question briefly confused Akira, yet he confesses. “To reduce as much as possible the workload for you if I won’t be able to be by your side. You already carry too much responsibility on your shoulders. That’s why I must prepare someone worthy to serve you.”

These words spark Shiki’s crimson eyes with excitement, but he keeps a proud face while stepping closer to his subordinate. “Hmph. Is that so?”

As he keeps his arms behind his back, he adds. “Are you doubting my power?”

Akira only shakes his head. “No, sir.”

After a brief pause, he places his palm around his heart area and explains with a firm determination. “However, it’s my duty to prepare him for all situations and not to embarrass you by his lack of skills or improper behavior. I know it might be selfish of me. How else I will rest at night by knowing that I didn’t give my best to train him to assist you any time?”

Meanwhile, Shiro silently exhales while holding his arm.

So, does being humane and valuing human life count as a weakness and a bother? The gray-eyed secretary wonders.

In the end, he realizes that he may disappoint Akira by fearing to raise his hand against anybody and not being an excellent secretary. Shiro thinks as he closes his eyes.

But for now, Shiki keeps his poker face. While he holds his chin, he narrows his gaze. “Is that the only thing that concerns you?”

At that moment, Akira loses the gift of speech.

Yet, the commander places his palms on his subordinate’s shoulders.

Such a gesture makes the military secretary widen his blue eyes.

However, he only listens to the reassuring words. “You worry too much. If you won’t be able to carry on your duties, I’ll personally punish anyone who dare to stand in my way. I asked you only to prepare a substitute secretary that will assist me. Nothing more, nothing less.”

As Akira softens his gaze, he nods. “I understand.”

Meanwhile, Shiro only listens to their conversation. Right now, he even lifts his head and hopefully stares at them.

Yet, he isn’t sure if he should be grateful for the commander willing to take this task or feel guilty for exposing his weak side.

Either way, it is still a miracle that he was spared again.

Even if he might not directly inflict damage or kill people, working on the documents may still decide who may or may not live.

Despite that, knowing that he won’t need to see anyone suffering or stain his hands, strangely relieved Shiro as a huge boulder was pushed from his chest.

Lastly, Shiki removes his hands from Akira’s shoulders and addresses him. “Either way, I’ll wait for you in my office.”

As his gaze moves toward Shiro, he orders the younger secretary. “And you. You are dismissed for today.”

“Y-yes, sir!” the gray-eyed male responds. Just before leaving, he bows while checking that his cap won’t fall this time.

---

A month has passed.

Finally, the important meeting is over, and Shiro can deliver revisited documents to the commander.

However, on his way to the commander’s office, he nearly drops the papers upon noticing Shiki carrying Akira in his arms like a wounded princess and rapidly approaching him.

After taking a better look, the first thing that catches Shiro’s eye is the knife inside the captain’s shoulder and how his uniform jacket slowly soaks in blood.

When Akira shakily grasps around the stabbed area, his chest shakily bloats, and he painfully narrows his gaze.

Lastly, he closes his blue eyes and turns his head away.

Meanwhile, it’s the first time Shiro sees the preserved military secretary in such a state.

Who could do this to him, and how it happened? It can’t be the commander’s work, can it? The gray-haired secretary wonders.

However, his further thoughts are interrupted by Shiki’s strict orders. “Why are you standing here? Fetch medical assistance and summon whoever can attend to wounds to my office, and tell them to escort the traitor to the interrogation room. Immediately!”

Without a second thought, Shiro responds. “Yes!”

Thus, even if he dropped the documents, he ran without knowing where.

As long as he meets anyone soon, that should only matter.

Eventually, Shiro bumps into one of the officers’ back. However, instead of apologizing, he tries to briefly explain the current situation without sounding too nervous to these men.

Fortunately for him, they understand the gray-eyed secretary and act quickly.

---

A day has passed.

Shiro finally learns that it was a rookie soldier around his age who was responsible for yesterday’s incident.

Apparently, that young man has managed to break into the commander’s locked office. However, his assassination attempt has failed, and Commander Shiki will execute him today.

Meanwhile, the gray-haired secretary still cannot get over how it sounds surreal.

However, he is still Akira’s substitute until he gets well and can serve the ruthless ruler.

Fortunately, unlike the previous time, he has gained a lot of valuable experience from Akira. But he also has higher expectations from Shiki.

Yet Shiro understands better than anyone else that he has no right to refuse but to fulfill his duties.

Besides, he is already a part of this ruthless military. So, he has no choice but to continue living it and never return from where he came from.

After all, upon taking his first steps into the military office, Shiro has already died as an average citizen, a student, a friend, and a son.

Even if he isn’t wearing his uniform, he will still be seen as a military member serving the most powerful person in the country.

In the end, Shiro fixes his cap and uniform before continuing his duties.

[Georgethymn]

Unrequited love is a common theme in yaoi manga that often tugs at our heartstrings and leaves us rooting for the characters to find happiness. But what is it about unrequited love stories that captivate us so much? Is it the raw emotions portrayed by the characters, the longing and yearning for something that may never be reciprocated, or perhaps the hope that in the end, love will prevail despite the odds?