A certain kind of pain

[selvaggia]

I’m obsessing about a certain kind of pain. I want to read shounen ai (or yaoi) with this kind of pain in them. It’s not only supposed to be physical pain, but it is not supposed to be only psychological pain either. It’s kind of supposed to be both – and also the pain of enjoying the pain. But I’m not really looking for explicitly masochistic characters, even though that would be OK as well. I’m more looking for broken heartedness in the midst of love or rather broken heartedness as the very essence of love. And pain. That glorious pain. I don’t like kinky stuff. I especially don’t like kinky humiliation. I want – like – the person who offers himself up to be glorified in it and by it, like when the victim wants to give his life for the perpetrator. And the horribly glorious pain of staying in abusive relationships because you kind of become addicted to it. I love abusive love!!! But I don’t like brain dead tyrants.

 

I like when there is no OTHER WAY of expressing love than through pain. I don’t like superfluous pain. I like emotionally necessary pain.

 

In short – I can’t get enough pain, physical or psychological, I can’t get enough blood, broken bones, mental breakdowns, etc., but I want it to be reasonable within the story – I would like for it not be too silly, too arbitrary. And I like when there is like compassion for the bleeding broken one, but this compassion cannot be expressed for various reasons. I especially like emotionally super inhibited semes and grand and self-sacrificing ukes. The other way around is kind of boring. But please just recommend me any kind of smart AND pain-centred story and I will investigate whether it suits my tastes. Thank you!

:hamtaro-005 (6):

[kjyc]

Aka no ori

 

Bi no Isu

 

Cage

 

^ Have you read those ? That the style you mean?

[Ero Gaki]

I agree with Bi no Isu