Goubatsu (eternal punishment)

[Befaid]

My new story started in a dream and then continued in a time of insanity...Enjoy...the parts of the story will come slowly cause lot of things happening lately...and when you write a story you need to focus on the feeling so....have fun reading it

 

 

 

 

 

The memory is the one that hurts the most

 

 

 

 

 

Power...power was all I asked and all I took . But I forgot . Only for a second I forgot . Everything comes with a price .

Soon or late .I was prepared...prepared to learn what this price ment for real .The only thing I wasnt prepared was that loneliness , that fear .

The fear of knowing that one wrong decision would be able to bring an unbearable result . I wish...I wish I would never desired so much .

I wish I had stayed still in the past and not look for an unsure future .But its too late now .Too late to miss something that is already lost .Nothing is the same anymore .I cant dance with the smell of the cherry blossoms in the early spring .I cant feel the cold touch of the melting snow on my face .

And every time I turn my head to the stars, I just cant understand....I cant understand this beauty that I left slip away from my fingers ,becausse I was seeking for something that this world couldnt give me .It seems so far away ,like a dream with no substance .

I was so reckless .Forgive me Hyouden-sama for not giving you the love you deserved .Feelings have ended up being pieces of an imaginary story .The pain of a loss .The happiness of a new start.....So elusive that...no matter how much I stretch I cant reach them .Who am I ?What am I ? A child of misery ,a tear by the mother of insanity ,a touch of death.....yes .Thats what I am .

What I know for sure is that I am not alive anymore.....,my heart doesnt beat .I wish I could lie ,but thats the truth I swore to tell you ,even tough I didnt keep my word .

Fear the endless darkness ,fear the death bringer ,fear the Shinigami .Forgive me....but I am leaving you .And with you I let all these memories die .Not because I dont want them ,but because I love them so much that I hate to watch them being raped so violently .Forgive me....

[Befaid]

 

 

Repeating pattern

 

 

 

 

 

I cant remember myself smiling .And there are times that I forget how to do it .

I was always chasing the uncaught and as a result my heart falls daily even deeper .'' Yoko-san ,you 'll need to get ready

 

soon.We are almost there .'' The voice of Aikawa-sama sounded so warm and calm ,like it used to do all these years that I

 

spent in the institution .Her tired and sunburnt face was looking out of the big window .She seemed sad .All this time it was

only me who could understand this pale sadness that was covering her eyes like a mist .

The bus was groaming like a beast ready to leave its last breath .How many times I 've done this in the past ?Always a new

 

college ,a new hope and finally

a new disappointment .''I dont want to try anymore .I just need to give up .'' I said yesterday to Aikawa-sama and I saw her

 

lips trembling with pain .She had embraced me .That was the solely thing she thought it was the best to do....but her hug

was cold and painful .I wrapped my arms around my tiny bag .''Ok ,I think its time to

repeat these words once more .I know I am getting tiring but keep in your mind that I care for you and only .'' She smiled

 

false .I looked at her with my heart getting tight .

Why do I always have to get through this...this abandonment ?....''Try to make new friends ,keep up with the lessons and be

 

you .'' Her words were flowing before they got lost ,dancing with the wind .I didnt saw her exprassion since my eyes were

 

observing gluttony the landscapes that were moving with vertiginous speed .How much I loved speed only I knew .

My fingers touched the crystalised glass giving shivers to my body .It was only at the beginning

of the summer but still the weather was as cold as a freezer .My breath was making little clouds of smoke that were sailing

 

on the air .The next minute the bus had stopped and the engine seemed to be vexed .''Ok ,lets go !''......wispered Aikawa-

 

sama .I fixed my pink skirt and straighten

my match T-shirt .I hated pink but I always tend to wear it more .I always do what I dislike the most .I was so used to this

 

that I could officially make it my moto .I stood up and took the way to the door .

One ,two ,three steps and the gold light of the midday sun fondled my face violently forcing me to close shut my eyes .I felt

 

my back touching the cold metal

of the bus and a weak scream slip off my lips .So....''gh''...bright .''Yoko-san hurry ,you must make a good first impression

 

.'' Aikawa-sama's hand wrapped around my wrist leading me gently ,while my eyes were still closed .My shoes were

excoriating clumsy the ground making an unnatural sound .Suddenly I could feel the shadow swallowing me greedy and I let

 

my eyes open .Since always big rooms were making me feel nervous ,but this....this room was enormous .

Shivers were passing through my body as my stare started to work out the place .Pictures were hanging from the walls

 

.Photos of unknown people that the time had probably face their memory .Sad faces made of mud and fire .Right in front of

 

me a twirlling ladder was leading to the classrooms...probably .My body had frozen and my heart was beating fast .For one

 

more

time all I could see was pain and failure .Father ,mother....just for one moment I wish you

could hold me and wisper..''Its ok Yoko-san....you can wake up now.'' I wish I could finally let the dream drown in the lake

 

of my tears for your loss .

[Befaid]

Sorry people i close this thread...no time to write and I am writting something different these days ....gomen...ja ne :hamtaro-005 (10):