unlove Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. You're sweet, as always! * hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celio Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. i never said that rape is normal, what i mean was that rape is also happend in non yaoi relationship (like boys and girl). and in that relationship rape hapend a lot, even more in yaoi i guess. so i think you should bring your research in non yaoi relationship not here. that's what i mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaterTenebraum Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 There's a large text behind the spoiler tag. It may be a little too sketchy but make sure to read it, please. In the end, none of the harm is intended by the authors of such things. That's how rape culture works, doesn't it? Everything is about seeing dominion and sexual exploitation as a fictional gateway for entertainment. Of course, you should not be aware of it being harmful. Nobody should question it. Yaoi was created that way to appeal viewers, not to make them see the true horrors of abusive relationships. Not even the authors are aware of this. They just see it as a form of making their works more "exciting", otherwise, more "edgy". This culture already accepts forceful relationships and stockholm syndrome as acceptable ways to write romance. I'm sorry for bringing this up, since it's evidently too complicated to observe. I barely scratched the surface, and I intend to go all the way in, in order to see what can someone like me do about this problem. I'm sorry if I seem too "close-minded" about the things you enjoy, but the fact that I reject something that everyone else blindly accepts is something that happens because of a reason. Back then I would have accepted this kind of Yaoi, because I didn't know better and I used to feel that it wasn't bad to have a relationship like that. But since I already went through with it and I know from experience how it goes, does it really make me close-minded to identify the pattern that used to be in my life? Yes, I may be biased, but transforming the "meaning" of one thing that already exists in the real life doesn't actually change what it essentially is, just to make it more fit to your personal fetishes; regardless making it a form of love expression or a "needed" measure to take against the victim doesn't change what it really is: Rape. You are still sugar-coating it though, because you think that making it fictional makes it completely harmless. But it does make an impact in how we view society, whether we like it or not. Let's remember for an instance that Yaoi is not meant to be accurate to how real life works. There's role-playing on BDSM, which of course, still applies restrictions and safeword. The Dom will stop until reaching the established limit or hearing the Sub's safeword. When the Dom starts going too far against the Sub's will, this is transgression of trust and power unbalance. This is called abuse. I know how BDSM works, and I haven't seen Yaoi applying it properly for some reason. You will say it again, that Yaoi is not the only genre that does that. It doesn't make it any better though. Remember these literary sagas such as "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Gray", just to mention popular examples? These books portray abusive relationships, all painted as romantic or sexually appealing. It so happens with many popular songs, movies, even cartoons and anime. There's Rape Culture everywhere, and it is accepted without the intention of harm, because there are people that feel too safe and comfortable within their own fantasies and gender roles. They don't realize that they're rewarding the true criminals out there, like the one who used to tell me that I enjoyed to be toyed with and I couldn't say no because even I started to believe in it. To certain extent, there's a lot of Victim-Blaming in Yaoi too, in order to justify the abuser's actions, since it implies that in the end "the Uke enjoyed it", "the Uke fell in love", "the Uke secretly wanted it", making it a twisted truth inside the Yaoi universe, therefore making everything alright. This is why nobody questions it. And pardon me if the term "queer" came out as slightly offensive. I should do my best to change it and make sure to offend less people. Thanks. Now, I think this will be the last time I post something in this forum, for good. I know I may be messing with the wrong place and the wrong people here. But still, nothing changes the fact that there's some legitimate problems in the way Yaoi characterizes certain important things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbow fox Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 one more thing before you go, I noticed you apologize a lot, as far as am concerned you don't actually mean your sorry you just say it as a form to elicit some sympathy, see let me break down the difference when I apologized about what happened to you, I meant it! but when you say your sorry, it's covered with a "I'm sorry but" when what you really mean to say is I must disagree and this is why. so, until you see the error of what you did wrong grammar wise, I expected you not to know what your talking about yaoi wise. and I must disagree with your statements because your "research" is false, not only did you waste your time (like I kept telling you.) but you wasted others as well. and that's called be needy for attention. :Red_fox3: Happy trails and I want life to treat you well.:_red_fox 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jahero Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 :leaf20::8yoyo31:onionn7:hamtaro-005 (21): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaterTenebraum Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 It's kind of mean to invalidate my whole argument just because I say "sorry" a lot. I wish I could help it. But I wonder if you are paying more attention to me rather than what I explained. This isn't just about me, it's about a very horrible problem that precedes my very own existence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlove Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Indeed, people are no longer attracted to this conversation( the topic). Young Lady, your methodology's wrong. Now, people won't "talk" to you, anymore. They are guarded- see our reactions. People aren't willing to talk to you anymore. Some feel offended, some are irritated by the way you talk to them, some just do not get your point of view and vice versa. You are definitely right, this conversation's unproductive. Nobody's criticizing you, but... you just don't talk to them. Oh, and yes, some are definitely provoking you- just don't react to such messages. Two posts ago you said you were leaving. May I ask why you still confront and/or approach our lovely community? Any expectations? This topic is very interesting-, but Hey! Wrong start, bad End. EDIT: Messaging Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. /highlight/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Key Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. If you don't like yaoi, please take your leave, since obviously this is a yaoi community, as the title says. If you don't like yaoi, no one forces you to read/watch it. And I see no point in you coming and making a whole drama over the fact that you don't like it. If I don't like tennis, I don't go on a tennis forum to say 'Tennis is not a good sport', nor do I bash people who like it. I just simply avoid it. These being said, this thread is closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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