Neko Private Roleplay {Ciel and Koe-chan} (18+)

[BlaqueCatt]

"W-well, if I don't try with someone who actually wants to...I-I'll never be able to be with people..." Just saying that made him feel panicked, and suddenly he wanted to hide. But he forced himself to stay still, holding his breath and stiffly waiting for a response, eyes squeezed shut.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

"You're making this sound like a relationship, and that you have to be deadly committed to this or whatever. I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, or push you out of your comfort zone. I understand that it's probably hard to trust others and be social, because I can't even do that myself, I just thought maybe we could try to be friends, to benefit one another, so we both don't have to be lonely." said the beige colored male. There was a lack of expression in his voice, it didn't sound bored, it was just kind of apathetic. He was obviously tired, though he was wearing a small grin, as if her were a bit happy, despite his voice being apathetic.

[BlaqueCatt]

Katsumi opened his eyes and looked at him, half-glaring. He doesn't really understand, does he? That talking to my parents is difficult? That interacting with anyone, even someone I just met, has to be treated carefully like a relationship or else I can't function? He huffed in annoyance and frustration, his tail puffing up beneath his jeans. The fur got caught and was pulled and he hissed quietly, shifting awkwardly against the tree and reaching behind his back to rub at his tailbone. Stupid tail. Stupid people. I hate people.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

"Eh, whatever." sighed the beige colored male, somewhat giving up at this point. Lazily, he folded his arms behind his head and slid down, laying on his back and looking at the sky, obviously thinking to himself, his hands forming a tight circle behind the back of his head. His hands always formed a circle when he was thinking. All these objectives to becoming a perfect person, sheesh. Quiet and demure is boring, meek and mild is odd, and refined and poised is over-rated. I'm surprised a good sense of humor hasn't been added to the list of things, eh, whatever, it's a drag, and far too troublesome. I'm not fully alone, I have the clouds, and pictures to remember what happened in my life. I could say that I'm not sad, but then I'd be lying, life isn't fair and it doesn't allow me to be a child forever, so I can't cry about it.

[BlaqueCatt]

The neko lowered his head and sighed, his eyes half-closing. He always felt tired after dealing with things like this. His left ear flicked under his hood and he stood up from his position leaning against the tree. He moved some of the hair from his eyes and looked up. "Maybe some other time," he said softly, defeat in his voice, before turning and walking down the street and back the way he came.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Getting up quietly, he walked in the complete opposite direction, heading for the forest. He slunk between the trees until he got to his house, which was in "Private Property". He lived there by himself now that his parents were deceased, and it was filled with deer,k of which his family bred and had kept on their property through generations. Getting to the small japanese-styled house, he opened the door and quickly closed it, before walking through the eerily empty house, and went straight for his bedroom. Once there, he coiled up in his blanket, forgetting to turn of his alarm clock, and dozing off. (Skip to the next day?)

[BlaqueCatt]

The next day was Sunday and Katsumi was sitting under a tree in the park, seemingly giving off an aura that kept people away. He was huddled in the shade, completely silent, with his eyes focused downwards. He had his jeans pulled down slightly, not enough to show anything, but just enough to free his tail. He held the fluffy white appendage in his lap and cradled it gently, wincing as fresh blood dripped from the tip. His father had grabbed him this morning and yanked it so hard that some of it tore, causing the area around the base of the tail to bleed. Now his pale lower back and the pure white fur were stained with blood. His mother had tried to help, but they didn't know how to take care of a cat, so in the end it was pointless. He sighed heavily and allowed his hood to fall to his shoulders, his flattened ears springing up. No one could see him from where he was.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Taidanamaru was doing his usual. Well, actually, doing his usual, though something was more off about him. On this Sunday morning, he wasn't cloud watching like he did every morning. He was sitting on a lowly, low swing that hung solely to a tree, sitting silently, staring at his feet. His eyes were dark, and underneath them was a plum shade of purple, that darkened the atmosphere of his eyes. He coughed quietly before staring back at his feet. What a drag...

[BlaqueCatt]

Katsumi rested his head back against the tree trunk, his blue eyes pained. His tail was so sensitive, and it hurt so badly. He whimpered softly, almost mewling like an injured kitten. This sucks, he thought, closing his eyes and letting go of his tail. His white cat ears swiveled around and he simply listened with them, calming down. His normal ears were deaf and he could only hear with the cat ones.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

The beige colored male stared solemnly at the ground. I can't cry. It's pointless. Same with revenge, that's pointless. It doesn't bring the dead back to life, and it doesn't make you feel any better...ugh, this thinking is such a drag. He was humming quietly to himself, swinging a little bit.

[BlaqueCatt]

I wonder if that person I met goes to my school...he didn't seem to be that much older than me... The whitette sighed wearily and shook his head. Why am I thinking about him now? Katsumi stood up with a wince, so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't bother to hide his cat-features. No one will see me anyway, he reassured himself, moving across the park to an area with more trees; the sun had moved and it was too bright in his original spot.

[BlaqueCatt]

{I have to go, I'll be back tomorrow}

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

That was when the first tear slid down his face. He didn't want to cry, but his body did otherwise. He kept in his whimpers, biting down on his tongue harshly, not caring for the metallic taste that now stained his tastebuds from the blood of the wound that was now engraved in his tongue. He huffed slowly, staring at his feet again, letting the tear fall off his face.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

Okay

[BlaqueCatt]

Katsumi settled down under another tree, pulling his knees up and letting his tail rest between his legs and his chest. He stroked it gently, eyes half-closed as he thought. He could remember the angry look on his father's face and the pain that followed, but for some reason they didn't seem to fit together. It took a moment for him to remember, and when he did his body stiffened. His father's face, filled with contempt, was replaced with the face of another person; a younger person who had nothing but a leering grin on his face. The pain in his tailbone matched this new face perfectly and Katsumi felt his heartbeat quicken; from fear or longing he didn't know. "Takeru," he whispered, bringing his tail up to his face and burying his nose in the fur, closing his eyes.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Bringing a hand up to his own face quietly, he lightly rubbed the single tear way, mumbling to himself, trying to reassure himself that crying was pointless, and that he shouldn't have to cry, "Crying's too much of a drag...it makes my face stiff, and it's annoying...anyways....what's the point of it...it's just showing weakness...at least it does for me." It was pointless for him to think that way, let alone talk to himself about his own problems. Saying that I'm sad would not be a lie, it would be the truth. Though it's pointless to cry about it, life isn't fair, and I can't remain a kid forever...it's such a drag. I'm unsure, and afraid, but I am free. Dragging his feet lightly against the ground, he dirtied the front of his shoes with the dust that floated up when he had buried his feet in the dirt when he swung forward, "And I always wonder why I'm so lonely...maybe this is how life is. Maybe my parents are trying to punish me...because I wasn't able to do anything for them when they died...I wasn't able to save them, because I didn't know what was going on...and for that they want to see me live a life in hell...because they are upset with their "lazy-ass", "good-for-nothing", son." He always rambled to himself like that, trying to figure everything out. He may be a genius, and a genius at deduction, but he didn't understand why everything around him and everything about him was terrible.

[BlaqueCatt]

The whitette ended up falling asleep with his cheek against his tail, and he stayed like that for some time. He didn't dream, he simply remembered. He remembered his life with Takeru, both the gentle and abusive moments. He remembered when he was very young and didn't have his cat features; his parents had both loved him at that time. He remembered when he turned seven and the tail and ears came. He remembered the horrified look on both of his parents' faces. He remembered the priest nearly drowning him in holy water, the curses thrown at him, the beatings his father gave him. He remembered his mother's desperate attempts to save him. While he remembered, he found a part of him wishing that he had treated his mother better; she was all he had now, and even she was slowly slipping away.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

There was always a lot on the lazy teen's mind, whether he explained it or not. He thought so much about things that his craving for isolation grew, which was why he chose to never be around people. He also believed that you couldn't trust anybody, and the only person that he could truly trust is himself. His trust had gone down the drain ever since his parents died. The only thing he really did now was gaze at the clouds, and play solo games against himself in shogi. Sighing quietly, he got up, walking lazily through the grass of the park, though not leaving the little section that he confined himself to.

[BlaqueCatt]

Katsumi jerked awake suddenly, gasping with wide eyes. He could feel the sting of his father's hand against his cheek... It was just a dream, he thought, sighing and leaning back against the tree. He was breathing heavily and his pale skin shone with a thin layer of sweat. He grimaced as the remnants of the memory faded and shifted positions on the ground so that he could once again inspect his injury. He was turned onto his side with his left arm holding him up and his right gripping the white appendage. He tugged experimentally and hissed loudly in pain, watching with narrowed eyes as a few more tiny streams of blood dripped into the grass. His thin fingers lightly touched the area where his tail and back met, feeling the tear in the skin and wetting the digits with blood. I didn't even do anything this time, he thought miserably, his expression one of disgust and sadness when he stared at his tail. The white cat ears on top of his head twitched, alerting him to sounds he didn't care about and causing normal noises to sound louder than usual. Being cat-like was more of a burden than a blessing. The church was right when they said he was a monster.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Sitting quietly under one of the trees, he had made his way a bit deeper back into the forest, not really wanting to interact with others. He figured at this point when the boy yesterday that turned out to be part cat had said 'Maybe another time', he probably meant, 'Actually, no. You're weird and I'd never want to be around you, I'm just saying this to make you shut up so I can leave'. Wait, why am I thinking about him? With a quiet sigh, he shaped his hands into a circle and closed his eyes, thinking deeply.

[BlaqueCatt]

The teen grit his teeth and tore his gaze away from the abomination that was his body, standing up quickly. His tail, though, got caught on a low bush and the white fur became knotted. He cried out in surprise and fear, immediately assuming that someone was trying to grab him. He went to turn around but moved too fast, once again pulling harshly on his tail. He made a noise not unlike that of a cat whose tail had just been stepped on and froze in place, trying to calm his panic and figure out what was going on. After realizing that he had been afraid of a plant he smacked himself in the forehead, feeling both stupid and angry. "Fucking idiot!" he cursed, his anger at himself for being what he was welling up inside of him. "Why did this have to happen to me?!" he demanded to the empty air, hissing and spitting at his own tail. he was so worked up that even his sensitive cat ears didn't pick up the sound of another person moving nearby.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Creaking open an eye, hearing a hissing noise, he rubbed one ear and got up, stretching and opening his other eye quietly and yawning, he mumbled quietly to himself, "And time to go see what that noise came from..." He quietly made his way towards the noise.

[BlaqueCatt]

Katsumi dropped to his knees, doubling over and facing the ground. His eyes were clenched shut and he was biting down hard on his lip. His hands tugged at his ears as if he were trying to rip them off. He was trembling and muttering to himself, rocking back and forth slightly, almost unnoticeably. "Why?" he whispered, shaking his head several times. "Why?" His jeans were hanging off of his hips slightly and were darkened with blood stains. His tail laid limply in the dirt, the tip of it still entangled in the bush's thorns. He didn't even bother to try and free it. His voice dropped a pitch and he murmured softly, "Did god do this to me?" No, you moron. There's no such thing as god.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

"Eh....Kat-chan?" His voice was confused, and he was rubbing the back of his neck, trying to think of what happened. He knelt down next to the neko, and asked, "Do you want me to get you out of those thorns...?" His voice was sincere, though a bit shaky, still kind of confused, and panicked by the blood

[BlaqueCatt]

The neko stiffened and slowly lifted his head to look at the older teen with wide blue eyes, his pupils slit. "I...I...I..." All of his anger vanished in an instant and his shy, scared nature returned. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he was overwhelmed by the pain and the fear and the self-hatred. "D-don't look at me," he begged quietly, moving his hands from his ears to his torso and wrapping his arms around himself. His ears had flattened against his head and he sniffed, trying to put distance between them; he only managed to make his injury worse and he stifled a cry, biting his lip with a long canine tooth and looking away. He didn't want to see the blood.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

"Hey...calm down...I just want to help you..." said Taidanamaru calmly, lightly put his hand on the younger male's hand in a soft, friendly gesture, to show him that he wasn't going to hurt him. He moved towards the bush a little, starting to untangle the fur from the bush, not tugging harshly on the hairs.