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50 Shades of Despair


Saga
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[color=#808080][font=Courier New]Summary: [/font][/color][color=#ffffff][font=Courier New]The diary of a seme. Most stories are written by the uke's point of view and so 
I decided to experiment with something new. 
I present you, 50 Shades of Despair. 
The story of a Death God.[/font][/color][color=#808080][font=Courier New]
Status: [/font][/color][color=#ff9933][font=Courier New]In progress [/font][/color]

[color=#ffffff][font=courier new]CONTENT [update 16th of Jan, 2014]: 
* The man who believed not in fate
* Cognizance 
* Death Wish
* The Door
* Supreme Curia
* The Albus God
* Messorem Kou - Reoss
* Obscurity 
* Despair's Feather
* His name was, for what his greatness is 
* Messorem Kou - Reoss Part II
* Hymn for the Missing
* The Library
* Missing
* The Tale of Ungodly Man
* Innocent until guilty
* The Blind
* Beyond the Veil[/font][/color]

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[THE MAN WHO BELIEVED NOT IN FATE]

 

I was always there, watching him. And knowing him. It got to be a natural flow of my existence

before I could become aware of it. He liked to deny, whatever it was he would deny it. But mostly, that tiny thread within, he liked to tear it apart. Over and over again. Then I wondered, was it me who liked to see the process of destruction, or just my inner ego fed up with the society. No, it wasn't only about society. It was the universe. After awhile, you just have enough whether some god or not...we all have the point of 'had enough'. Seemingly though, not everyone had the luxury to abandon weight behind. However, he was the exception. The exception that captured the attention of Death.

 

That's right. I am Death and you are just a mortal man who judges opinions of life on

the single rope dangled from the belief of fate. Whether you believe or not, well, that's just a small

and an inefficient detail. After all, at the end of the day it's me who reaps what one sows. I invite you

to my world, where all reasons are left behind. Where your deeds do not thrill me off my seat.

I am old and tired, but I always have to answer each soul's 'why's'. I got fed up with the desperate need

of mortals to find the answer. Until the day when I met a man who believed not in fate and that man

was the first one to ask the right answer in his time of dying. His name was Shirahane Gin.

 

I remember it was a breezy, summer night. The sky was so clear but I saw not a single star. It was just the moon, alone with its reflection in that deep, black lagoon of night ocean's calm crests. One of the few nights I had some free small hours to spend. The town wasn't big, nor busy. And as I stood near the wet covers of crashing waves, something caught my attention. It was like a fragrance beckoning you its way. I knew what that meant, but I wondered was it worth to stop it? The night was so calm, a perfect time for someone to feel the chilling cold breath of mine. Ah, mortals would call that 'suicide'.

Each person has their timer set and when the last second runs off, there is that pale, white thread which I have to tear off their soul. We call that thread 'Albus'. Whenever mortals decide to tear Albus off by force, there is an alarming and tempting fragrance that only I can sense. And can I be blamed? It is a fragrance that is purely made to lure me. Sometimes I can control over the temptation and others, well, you have an expression about it - "Shits happen".

 

Such a fragrance, I can't forget it even to this day. The ocean breeze mixed with a sweet aroma of vanilla. It was ages since I could grasp onto such a sweet soul. The dark coat of mine, similar to the pitch black night, had to be spread open for an embrace. My control was fading away although I had plenty of souls gathered for the day. It took less than a second to follow its direction, leading me to a small window. The house wasn't something fancy. And the light was flickering so weakly from inside, as if synchronous with the life that was about to get hold of my cold hand. I saw enough of forced deaths, to be able to judge with a glance why the soul has chosen that end. And of course, my deduction didn't get late that time. Either it was poverty or despair. And again, that fragrance hit the soreness of my bits of control. It made me walk towards the faintly breathing mortal. As I walked into the room, I knew two things right away - he was alone and very beautiful. Everything around him and in him made me desire to tear Albus off, to make him into a pure energy and calm his worries away. Finally. I stood there,

next to his sleeping face. Yes, he was sleeping his last dream away. My cold hand moved on its own, reaching for his smooth and white cheek. So peaceful, he was. Not even a single wrinkle of pain on his outside facade. Not even a single sigh given for pain slamming against chest. I wondered then, how badly it must hurt so he was so unable to describe it if Death demanded for the 'true colors' of his?

 

And I wanted to take a peek; that last dream of his.

 

-------------------------------------

 

- What's with you, Shirahane? - a seemingly young male spoke as held his glass of alcoholic beverage.

- Nah...

- Don't 'nah' me. I am worried, ya' know? You seem so off lately. Say, when you lastly took a break? And how about when you last ate? You sink yourself into the pool of work. It's so annoying to watch you this way.

- I am good, really - but the faint smile couldn't hide well the lie. The beautiful male looked as if given up on life, but still holding onto one single thing ... his friend's care.

- Geez, is it because of him?

- What are you saying? Of course it's not.

- Right. Well, let's enjoy the club's program tonight. - carelessly his friend lifted the glass up to empty it.

By chance a waiter passed by them and Shirahane really had some need of cold water, not really feeling well.

-Excuse me, er, can I have a glass of water, please? - a flash of kind smile, the male gave an aura of well mannered businessman.

- Yes, of course, sir! I will get it right away, sorry for the messy schedule today. It's because of the VIP guest we are to welcome. - all excited the waiter gave the feeling that some really important person was to drop by the club.

- V..VIP guest? - Shirahane frowned up, not quite catching up.

- Yes! You can actually go downstairs and hopefully will be lucky to get signature! With all the crowd tonight, ahahaha, it's crazy around!

- ... Can I ask... about the name? - he already knew it, after all, it was his dream and his worst nightmare.

- Ah, it's Ryuji K.

There it went, that suffocating feeling. What was again, why it had to happen? It was 5 years now, he did so well so far... trying to forget his only love.

- I..I...I must.. - in the hurried gesture to get up, he spilled his beverage down but the agony slamming into his heart was stronger. It was screaming for danger, but he didn't know why it felt so scary.

- Sir?

- Shirahane? What's wrong, dude?

Both of the males stared at the panicked beauty as his mind went blank. He had to get away, fast. As he made his way to downstairs before it was too late, the tiredness said its word. His vision got blurry, he felt like throwing up. Of all the damned times, he had to lose strength now? Quit kidding. Gin made a few more steps, trying to avoid being crashed from the crowd and desperate to reach the exit. In the hurry, he didn't even hear his friend calling his name from behind. A little more, but not. Something was different in that dream, he knew that dream. But now it felt different, it was scarier and somehow 'unknown' to his subconscious.

 

The final reach for the door, he was so close. But a sudden bump from the excited crowd got him lose balance and stumble to side. He swore to himself, he was losing conscious and to top it - in the middle of some beast-like crowd. But as said, something was different. He felt the coldness of hand slide against his hip before he gave to his black out. Why it felt so safe in such a cold embrace? The last thing he could hear was the loud screams of the crowd.

"Ah, so Ryuji is already here...", mumbled with last strength he gave in to the powerless self.

 

- You... - Shirahane's friend stood there, obviously not liking the person who caught Gin, as a result he reached hand to grip onto Shirahane's arm, - Let him go.

A firm stare was the reply to the demand, a stare that Ryuji would never make before his fans. But what was more, he averted his eyes, to stare at the unconscious Shiragane, as if already knowing that 'sleeping face'.

- No.

- What... you bast-...! - disturbed by the cold and empty gaze of Ryuji, he felt that it was better to shut up. As if his senses were alarming for danger. Was it actually Ryuji?

- I will take care of him, you can rest assured.

- ... If.. if you hurt him, Imma seriously get you for that, Ryu!

- Heh, I'd like to see you try. - with cocky chuckle the male made his way out the club, not giving a damn about the screaming and over-excited crowd.

 

.

.

.

.

.

"I am tired of all. I am tired of dreams that never come true. I am tired of chasing something that can never be mine. I know, I should be happy with what I have. But why won't you take everything away, if it feels like I have nothing? Am I just another miserable pawn to your chessboard, God? Well, give me a checkmate, I am already sick of that play... Sick of being sick, I am--..."

A slight flinch, Shirahane was coming to it. His subconscious and conscious making the border again. His mind was a complete mess, but that fragrance. What it was? Ocean breeze and....vanilla? His green eyes made a motion for wake up, the cheek of his feeling smoothness of cold skin. As soon as he realized he was laying on top of a man's chest, he got up like burned by fire.

" Wha-what!!?...", his voice unable to scream his question, but yet his eyes meeting the sleeping face of Ryuji. He couldn't believe it. Was it a dream? It should be a dream, right? The male got so confused with what was reality and what not, that his tears ran down. Heck he gave what was reality. Even if it was a dream, he preferred to not wake up if he could be near that man. But come to think of it, Ryuji looked so beautiful. More than he could imagine or more like something unreal? A stinging pain crawled up his heart again, so it was a dream? There was that light coming from the small window, gentle light. Shirahane didn't really get captured by it but the coldness of that sleeping face. So peaceful. His own tears at the edge of landing down onto Ryuji's chest, not fully aware that his last seconds were being counted down.

That was it. The beautiful tear smashed against the bare and cold chest of Ryuji. The sleeping male was about to wake up and that was a reason for the naive Shirahane to panic.

" What do I do? God, what to do...I look like pervert...Ah!" , he came up with the most childish thing ever, pretending he was still asleep.

 

But as he knew it already, that dream was different.

A small grin spread across the lips of Ryuji. That was the moment when the dream was no longer a dream.

 

-------------------------------------

 

I wondered, should I watch him a bit more? He looked so fragile onto my chest. The only thing I could see was the trembling shoulders of his. But my cold chest felt so warm, something that I never knew as a sensation. The touch of a human's tear.

- Why are you crying, Shirahane?

There was that moment of sweet silence, until the stubborn mortal decided to face me. I thought if I could take the image of his most loved one, it'd be easier. But humans could actually run from what they loved. And so did he.

- I... I am sorry... just..

Ah, he finally sat up and showed me his off expressionless face. It was so hard to tell what he felt when he was sleeping, but once I got in his dream - I saw and felt all the pain.

- Just?

-Just... why are you here?

That was a question I have never been asked as Death. Why am I here? Why do I exist? That human really caught me off guard and truly, I liked it. Even though, he didn't know I wasn't his beloved Ryuji.

- I am here to take away the pain.

- Take away the pain? Are you kidding me?

And then he got angry, but it was understandable. He was having a nightmare, actually the worst nightmare a human could have.

- I am afraid not, Shirahane. I should be the one asking, why are you here?

- What...do you mean by why am I here? You brought me here!

So funny it was, to dispute with a mortal. I couldn't hold my chuckle and I knew that Albus was about to be torn whether I wanted it or not.

- Shirahane, it's you who demanded me to come. And I am afraid, I can't just leave.

- ... Are you sick!?

He got up and I suppose he felt the danger surrounding him. His time was up and all his being was telling him to run from me. But you can't cheat or run away from Death. I easily grasped that thin and fragile arm of his. I felt that anger I haven't felt for decades.

- Yes, I am sick. People like you make me sick, disturbing the natural flow. Forcing your way out of the cycle. What are you thinking? Fate is not something to play with, kid.

His eyes startled at me, he was like slapped. I suppose I forced his memories within the dream-realm and he knew what he did. He was actually a very neat doctor who injected himself with some overdose, to die in his sleep. The only thing I couldn't see was actually the source of his pain. That man was the walking despair. And I never ever have seen such a pure despair.

- Hah... so... it's not a dream, huh... I am...actually dead?

- Basically you are about to be dead. But I suppose you fulfilled one of your goals.

Ah, I didn't mean to say that. But there was something in him. He denied me, he denied fate. And his fear was less and less, until I felt only emptiness.

- So... why am I seeing you? Are you Death?

He was clever, rather with quickness of mind. And I liked it, again. Such an attractive human, he was tempting me in each aspect.

- I am what you make me to be. I am your biggest fear, apparently is Ryuji.

- Right... Well, what are you waiting for, Death? Do you like to have chitchats with losers like me?

That was annoying, perhaps it was his goal to make me annoyed so it ended faster. But I was too old for such tricks, so I just tilted my head to side for a quick inhale-exhale moment.

- Fool.

- Eh?

- You are a fool despite your beauty and purity. What a paradox, but I guess the world itself is a paradox. Shirahane, the only reason to stand here and listen to your dismal feelings is merely because of courtesy. If your time was up by the natural flow of things, I wouldn't give a damn about your afflicted by despair life. So you should know your place when you speak to me.

I guess I broke the thin wall of his pretend. He stumbled to the floor, his arm raised up only because my grip was there to hold on. And he should have been glad about it, the reason Albus was still there was because of my touch.

- I am sorry... I.. I just don't know what is supposed to be good and bad, happy or sad. Somewhere between the layers of difference I lost myself. I asked many times why do I exist...but I never could figure... And seemly, God abandoned me... Tell me, Death... do you know? Do you know why do I exist? Why do we exist? Why..do you exist, Death?

Merely talking about it, no wealth, no ruin, no silver and no gold could satisfy me. I had no use of them. I existed purely for the souls. But then, I existed...,in that single damned by the God and the Devil moment, purely and solely for that soul, Shirahane's soul. His eyes were tired of crying. So dry. His soul was skinned off by despair. So nude. And I resigned. I resigned that contract.

- Life. Life is my purpose.

- ... Life? But... you are---

- Death. But tell me, doesn't your God exist to save you from the Devil?

I knew he was faithless, but yet no soul could lie to me. So he spoke up.

- Suppose so..

- Listen, Shirahane. If you always want to drink from the glass with happiness and sweetness, it would poison you. Too sweet gets to turn into bitterness. Life is same way, pain is required to grasp the real meaning of it. While I... I am what takes the pain away. I can always show you what you desire, but it'd be a pure product of your beliefs. Tell me now, do you believe in Fate?

- No. Why should I believe in something that never returns the favor? Fate never believed in me, to give me the chance to turn my life the way I wanted to.

- Do you believe in God?

- Isn't partly the same as Fate..?

- Heh, then... do you believe in me, Shirahane?

- In you?

- Yes, in me. Death.

- ... I.. I guess so. After all, we all die, don't we?

I liked that answer, I admit. He was stubborn. He was a fighter. I wanted him in my deadly embrace, but yet that man believed in my existence. Life would always deny me as God denied him. But even God could die, and it was a matter of time before I reap him too. Yet that simple man there, he was firmly staring at Death into the eyes with nothing but his despair.

- Very well. Then I will return the favor.

- What?

- You heard me. You will live. Don't disappoint me, human. If you ever give up, I will devour your soul forever. That shall be my decision. Go ahead and show me what else you believe in, Shirahane Gin.

- Wait! I---

 

And I let go of Albus, fixing the thread. But that thread was one of a kind. I also have Albus. But instead of a single thread, I have threads as much as the lives I've taken. His thread was connected to immortality. But who knew that the man who believed not in Fate could believe in Death?

Shirahane Gin.

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[ COGNIZANCE ]

 

I often spent my free of duty time in the company of either a glass of the best quality wine or a cup of plain, very plain to my tastes actually, tea. Whenever I felt content I would drink tea and when not I would have wine. Please, even a god has bad days. However, I would prefer to keep the best for the worst, and of course, the worst for the best. A reason why I often had tea. Everything and nothing, both have their price to be paid. Or like I used to say, price for the purchase; since all had its expiration date.

 

However, I wondered if I purchased the fate of a man who could break any border. Who could become aware of the truth. There was a reason I existed. I took away what you have learned in your current life. Basically, that's what knowledge could do - ruin you. And I took away the pain. I existed to justify Life. Some feared me, other laughed at my face. Neither of the types could actually affect me. And that was what you had to fear, that I never bow before your inconsequential existence.

 

But what a human could do? "Ignorance, ignorance. Sweet ignorance.", ah. Even gods could be ignorant. We believe just like humans. We bet and risk just like humans, and we do mistakes...like humans do. But no god would admit. No god would show weakness. You request of us power, we grant power. You request mercy...,well, we offer truth. Tell me now, do you want the power or the mercy of a god?

Ah. Power you say. Sure, shall be purchased. Like he purchased it. The power of Death.

 

-------------------------------

 

Thump-da....thump-da....thump-da...........thump-da..................THUMP-DA.

- .... Ngaaaah!! - his body jerked, his dry throat begging for air. Shirahane sat up as he got awaken from the deadly dream he had. The heartbeat was calm but slow. Very slow. Instead of trying hard to catch on the beats, he had them drilled into his head.

Thump-da..........thump-da.......thump-da......

- Ah--....coughah - a dry cough came out of his saliva less mouth, his eyes half open and half closed. There was no pain. There was no emptiness. There was no despair. What was there? Ah, nothing. He couldn't feel a thing, well, besides the drilling sound of his slow heartbeat. It was like a reminder of 'you sneaked away'. As soon as he became aware of what he did and what he dreamed about, the male's body got weak and flopped back onto the couch. Was it...that was impossible, right? He was dying and he woke up, while dying. Senseless.

The male stared at the ruined by the time ceiling and couldn't grasp one single thing - his feelings. But let's get back to the ruined and worn out by the time house. He was a respectful doctor, actually the best diagnostic one could imagine, money were no problem for the luxury he could have. Probably that was the thing which intrigued Death. What was the thing he could hide from Death? No one could hide from that damned by the fate god. But there was an exception, it seems. Shirahane could have anything in this would, for the world was ruled by money. But yet he lived in that old house. No, no. It wasn't about being sentimental or humble, and Death knew it. Then, what it was? What Death missed? Probably the answer was behind who Ryuji K were? Seemingly, Death got chained by mortal which actually happened only once before. And the consequences? Well, Death become what he was - death.

 

-------------------------------

 

I liked his reaction after coming to life. He wasn't confused, he was aware. Aware of me. But unlike the rest of the souls with forced cut off Albus, he didn't fear me, nor denied me. I admit, I got curious.. Isn't it funny? I gave answers to the departing souls because I always knew the answer. But that mortal refused to give me the answer I needed.

..Ah, I like this tea.

Yes, the question I had was only outwardly appearing as simple. Why he lived in despair when he had what was given in order to destroy despair? This wouldn't leave my head for awhile. Or might be another 'forever'. Can I surprise you with his first line after having a dream of me? Heh.

- ... I am alive. - Shirahane was continuously staring at the ceiling, aware of what he got himself into. And yet, he didn't know if wanted to meet Death again or to run away from him. Yes, that was right. Run away; he was thinking to deny Death. He believed he could run away from Death, which was kind of a beginning. But to believe in something, sometimes wasn't enough. Shirahane didn't move from his couch for the rest of the night. He just kept pointlessly breathing. But they say, once you learn to breathe pointlessly, it is the moment when you learn freedom. And indeed, he was free.

Nothing could harm him now. Nothing.

The first sunrise of his new life was beautiful. Soft purple liquid embracing the coldness of the parting night, blue color. The art of a goodbye between the day and the night. Still numb to his senses, Gin was leaning against the windowsill. Jade, green eyes filled with the warmth of Life, but cold from the touch of Death. He was the proof the universe needed. That destiny could be rewritten only when Death wished so.

I wanted to touch him. It was a urge I couldn't explain. Stood still next to him, but he wouldn't know. Not if I wished so. And for the time being I thought it was better to let him adjust. Something caught Shirahane's attention, then. He looked away, at my direction. I was right there, on his left side because the invisible for mortal's eyes 'chain'. But I forgot, he wasn't mortal anymore. He could actually hear the ring and the dong when I moved my hand. The chain was strong enough to be heard, but still invisible because of my end. And there, he looked back to the sunrise. Each time he looked away from me I felt like death-struck. Ahahaha..hah.

 

The light brown haired male decided to give himself a day off. Right now he felt too numb, to save lives. And the irony about all was, he who saved lives was chained to the one who reaped lives. However, Death could rest not. Said so, the chain dangled to the floor when Death relaxed his arm. It was a habit of his to follow the tick and tack of the clock. His calm gaze averted from the male to the clock, the schedule man was about to come and greet. Shirahane felt a bit uneasy at that time. His eyes roamed around the room for some reason. How sudden it was that fleeting chill; Gin jerked to find an awfully pale male before his eyes. The figure was tall, dressed in black costume with red necktie that could make you focus on it rather than on his powdered-like face.

- Greetings, Mr. Shirahane. - it was the schedule man of Death, or put in other words, secretary. His hands were cupped and relaxed in front of his crotch, a manner of gentlemanly behaved butler. His black eyes moved to left, noticing his boss. But when the chain was seen, he had to keep silent. His attention returned to the human when the natural question came.

- Who are you? Death? - a quick guess that made the invisible Death chuckle.

- No, I am not Death. - sadly the schedule man lacked humor.

- Ah...but then...how did you---?

- How did I get in this ruined house that obtain...56 holes and 2 new that are about to appear in... - he quickly and skillfully flicked hand to get an old-fashioned,pocket watch appear - ... seven days and four hours, to be exact three hours less with 2 minutes and half?

Shirahane had to blink a few times, not really used to such an odd man. Actually, a being. Part of him already knew that he wasn't a human. But just for assurance, he asked.

- Er... I am alive, right?

- Yes, you are the most alive being that could ever exist

- ..What?

- Yes, you are the most alive being that--

- I don't need you to repeat, but clarify what you meant.

- In brief, you are alive.

- Ah...right. And...now to the next, who are you?

For his luck not, the schedule man hated to be late. More than Death. In fact he existed purely for Death to be exact and in time.

- My! What time it is! We are late, Mr. Shirahane! Quick! Follow me!

- ...F-follow you? - Gin wrinkled his brows when the man passed through the wall.

- Yes, follow me. - a peek taken with his head from the whole body, which actually looked as if some scene from a horror movie. Especially with that pale, white face. It made Shirahane's heart jump. As for Death, well, he was enjoying it.

- But.. I can't pass through walls! - said in an obvious irritated voice, Gin headed for the kitchen's door so he could actually move to the other room.

- In fact you can. - the Death's secretary was in a real hurry there, he grabbed onto the invisible chain and pulled Shirahane right through the wall. By instinct the human raised arms before face in an X gesture, but oddly he passed safely through the wall. And that wasn't the only weird thing. He was actually standing in a small hall. In another house, obviously Western styled.

-.. Should I ask or leave it for later?

- Quick! Please! We will be late! - the man kept pulling around Shirahane through the walls which felt as if bumping into ghost trees. Each next wall left the uncomfortable feeling of being forced in and out his body. With the last wall coming, he averted head aside. Eyes ready to close, but as he bumped into the ghost-tree-like wall, he saw it. Part of it. The chain on his left arm. For some odd reason he could see a small knot of its length. And then...it disappeared.

- We are here!

- ... WHERE?

- Borough High St, Southwark, London, United Kingdom.

- .. Aha. - it was a bit too much to take for his first day and for the record, ah, how hard Death was laughing at that moment. Each of the human's reaction could entertain Death. That made Death crave for more. Aside the fact, Shirahane had no idea what was going on right now. He just stood there, trying to grasp that walls could be a hardcore version of planes.

- It's time. - the schedule man announced by low voice as pointed at a woman that walked their way.

- It is...time?

- ... My Death! - cursing with the proper term, the secretary got annoyed which made the room's temperature drop. A reason why he was the right hand of Death - he never ever allowed Death to slack off. And he had the powers granted.

- Calm down, Jaropht.- a calm and hypnotizing voice echoed in the room. A chilly feeling could tear you apart just from its power over each existence. The chain was getting visible for Shirahane inch by inch. And then a beautiful hand appeared for it to continue upwards for the arm and shoulder. The true form of Death revealing for Gin's eyes. No one could look away from Death, either could Shirahane.

 

I was Shirahane's Albus. And that moment took him to the land of knowledge.

He was mine for the taking.

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[Death Wish]

 

There were three ultimate rules in my world. First, I cannot revive the dead. Second, I must grant one's death wish as long as it doesn't involve coming back to life. And lastly but not by importance, I cannot lie when I am asked a question. Well, I have the freedom to choose the words in my answer though, heh. So if we say, you ask me what is the color you bleed with and I answer the color of blood - pretend you don't know it is red - then, you can't say I lied but you can't say you had your desired answer, right? That is what happens when mortals ask the question wrongly or choose the wrong question. But what happens if you ask me, from all the simple colors known by the humans, what is the color I bleed with? Then, I have to state a simple color and 'color of the blood' is not an answer. You understood, right? One single word has the power to bring the importance forth. But that is what humans lack - insight. Most of them. I have met only a few souls that could bring the importance forth and get the desired answer. One of the souls was that... Confucius, it happened around the 479 BC according the human's chart of time, and that man actually never asked a question. Which kind of kindly surprised me because all souls ask a question. One question. But he nodded his chin lightly and it looked like he had found his answer while he was alive. Well, what could I do? I nodded back as a manner of respect to such a soul. Because his journey has come to its term. When a soul stopped asking questions, it didn't need a rebirth anymore. ..But let's leave that topic for another time. You are about to witness how I do my job, which is one of a kind. And mind you, it is not just another expression. My job is really, really one of a kind. And no human is supposed to take the job of a god. Ah, I humbly pardon myself for the sudden raise of voice. Let me show you the reason why I got a bit, how mortals called it, ..uncool-ish?

-------------------------------

 

- Calm down, Jaropht.- a calm and hypnotizing voice echoed in the room. A chilly feeling could tear you apart just from its power over each existence. The chain was getting visible for Shirahane inch by inch. And then a beautiful hand appeared for it to continue upwards for the arm and shoulder. The true form of Death revealing for Gin's eyes. No one could look away from Death, either could Shirahane.

- Sir. - a smooth and gentle bow of head as a greeting to his boss.

Death could have many forms. He had the power to use his imagination anytime and anywhere. But a few could see his true form. His hair had that silk-giving feeling, the color was something unknown for the humans. It was called 'crystállum nebula' though, which meant 'crystal mist' and if a human had to define it - liquid-like silver biting at the color of black. Which would look like, a never stopping change of the contrast. One time he tilt head to side, you'd say - ah, it's black. Then one time he tilt to the other side, you'd say - ...it is silver. Funny color, according to Death. Anyhow, besides that it looked pretty. The damned god actually was stylish. He had a sense of humor or so he believed, but mortals would call that 'mocking on'. Especially when he grinned. His perfect lips could form any kind of a smile - teasing, mocking, threatening, calming and of course, sad. Mortals believed Death lacked feelings and emotions, mostly because of the 'reap' part. It was spurious. The only thing that Death lacked was a god he could pray to. That was the sad part. But he compensated it with an amazingly powerful presence. And that would come from the two earrings he had. No, his power wasn't laid there but justified through them. One earring was a small and typical christian cross, color would be silver. As for the other, it was small and typical satanic cross, color would be black. The trick about these two could be called 'the way a mortal would die'. If the human had a heavy sin that wouldn't be forgiven for another decade and their destination would be Hell, the black earring would make their death painful. And if destination would be Heaven, the silver earring made the death peaceful. So much for now about the true form of Death, Shirahane would often see it and he would have enough of time to see unseen sides of Death.

- ..You...are you-.. - Gin made a short plod to side, his shoulders naturally trembling but not because of the low temperature in the room. It was the effect Death had over souls.

The damned god didn't say anything, he just averted eyes for a brief to Shirahane and then looked at the woman who couldn't see them. ..It was her Albus at its limit. The woman paused and leaned against the wall. She felt really sick, as if dying.

- Look. - his husky voice was like an order and Gin turned his head to the woman's direction. She was suffering. That happened when Death would be late. The supposed to die souls would suffer while innocent and not yet to die souls would depart from Life. How would Shirahane know? Well, because many white threads in their smoky form would start rushing into his body, spiraling their way through the chain connected to Death and end up crashing onto the damned god's body.

- One unreaped soul equals hundred not yet for reaping souls. - Death stated a terrible fact.

- Why...why are you standing there!? Do....d-do something!!! - Gin was such a gentle soul, he would give anything to save a life. It was only essential thing for him to panic.

- It's late. - Death calmly announced, while the Albus threads of one hundred souls kept rushing through them both.

- It is not late! Aren't you Death!? Fix that! - Shirahane tried to move towards the woman but the chain held him back. He couldn't move because Death wished so.

- Look carefully what you did.

- .. What I did?

- Yes, you fucked up the natural flow of things. - the damned god directed his attention to Gin.

- How did I fuck it up? I wouldn't know this would happen if I am late!

- Hah. It's not about being late, Shirahane Gin. - Death started to move, making his way toward the woman.

- ..Huh?

- You wanted to die, didn't you? - his tall figure stopped before the suffering human, his black gloved hand in pants' pocket.

- What that has to do with her? Save her!

- You realize what you asked me to do just now, right? - Death looked over shoulder.

The light brown haired male paused his tongue. What he was saying? He told Death to kill her? After all, they were there to reap her....weren't they? Gin looked away, still feeling the warmth of Albus threads crashing into a smoky manner through body.

- I..ask you...to reap her...not kill her, right?

- Well, if that helps you through the night. Sure.

A squeeze of jaw, Shirahane was starting to really dislike Death. But the damned god wanted to be disliked, even feared. After all, he wasn't there to be loved.

- Do it, then..

- Ah, that won't do, human. - Death formed a beautiful grin.

- ... - Gin looked up straight into Death's eyes, not quite catching up.

- You have to do it.

- Why me?

- Well. My left hand is to reap heavily sinned souls, while my right hand.. - he looked at his hand in pocket which was the one chained to Shirahane- .. is for pure souls. And right now I can't use it. Apparently your Albus was pure and captured my right hand. - a flash of smile darted to Shirahane.

Gin slowly moved his gaze to his left, chained hand, realizing that he couldn't use left hand. But his right hand was free.

- You want me to...kill her?

- Well, a bit ago you called that 'reaping', right? - Death chuckled.

- Sir. - Jaropht appeared next to his boss, putting hand onto shoulder to whisper something into Death's ear. By the look of it, Death's smile vanished right away.

- Enough of the chitchat. Let's get to it. - the Albus god took his chained hand out of pocket as the chain dangled in a swishing gesture; his slender and gloved fingers captured it for a pull, getting Shirahane forcefully move forth where the woman was in a terrible pain.

- Put your right hand onto her forehead.

So Gin did. It was like an order he couldn't deny.

- Repeat after me. - suddenly Death's voice was like mute and only Gin was speaking.

Viewless essence, thin and bare,

Still with fondness hovering near

The earthly form thou once didst wear,

That thrill'd upon thy dying tear.

 

-------------------------------

 

In fact, I don't need to chant when reaping. But when chained, my powers are weakened and I have to gather them through chants. Shirahane Gin didn't know what power he had until that moment. And another thing he didn't know.. Back then, that night, when I renewed his Albus..hundred souls died not. It was a greater number. But I thought he would break, if he knew. So I decided to keep silent. Though you can't call Death a murderer, no matter what. But oddly, I felt this way. And yet, I didn't regret it.

 

As soon the chant stopped, the woman dropped down on floor, dead. Her Albus was spiraling around the right hand of Shirahane. He smiled. The soul was so gentle and it tickled him. He saw all her beautiful memories, for he reaped the pure souls. At that moment Death's silver earring glowed behind the length of his hair. They stopped the unbalanced reaping of hundred souls. But still caused some chaos out there.

The woman's spirit appeared before Gin, of course to ask the question she needed.

 

He was smiling, so purely. It caught me off guard. I stared like unconscious to his senses fool. I wondered then, did I smile the same way when reaped pure souls? I don't think I ever smiled whether I saw some of their beautiful peaks of life. Probably it was because I forgot. I forgot what it was like.

 

Jaropht was still with hand on Death's shoulder and squeezed a bit, reminding to his lord the thing he told him awhile ago. Death averted head lightly, recalling. They had to go. Actually, to run. But only after Shirahane gave her the answer.

 

Ah, I could have sworn that being in hurry with Jaropht and running away from them, had its difference. You would think what Death could run from? Nephilims. I could bet that the dark creatures already knew about my recent doings. Thus, they would lust Shirahane's position. Once I take out the chain, which is known as 'jurar'*, the one who takes a grip over Shirahane's end is going to be the new boss.

 

Legend:

Jurar*

to administer the oath to… {vb}

[law]juramentar a {vb} [law]

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Another great fantasy story I'm reading tonight. The part when they traveled to reap the soul and the description of the process were captivating.

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[THE DOOR]

 

Ah, sweet is the end. When you do know there is an end. But what can I say? I, who hasn't known the taste of an end for so long, how can I even imagine it? Humans always seek for certainty. Something to believe in, not of a matter what it shall be. They just need to grab onto that thing, thus they seek some truth. 'The truth'. When in fact, there was one truth... What is true today is for today, what is true for tomorrow is true for tomorrow. Change; this is the truth. Everything could be changed unless one thing - my endless existence. And all of you, all of you met me. One way or another, and although I saw the urge for something certain, for something that is absolute in this world even if a 'truth', you needed to see it. To know it. To feel it. But less become the souls that realized they already met that thing - me.

I am just supposed to give answers to what asked, but not to what I know you need. Sadly, I had to see to many lost souls. Too many deceived by creation souls. All I could do was watch them go and all I could say was what they wanted to hear. However, different was that soul. I could feel it, it was coming close - my end. But would Shirahane allow me to part, I wondered. After all, we all had to die. Even Death. But what awaited for him behind that door? Behind the door which only I could open?

 

------------------------------------

The day was too exhausting for the new partner, if could be called this way, of Death. Never would he imagine being Death was so hard and so spirit-crashing. He even wondered, how Death did it? How he could drink that tea so calmly. And come to think of it, why during the night Death could rest? Couldn't be that humans let him take a nap, right? The mortal parted lips to ask his doubts away.

- Say...

The Albus god was sitting on some random bench, while drinking plain tea; his long and dark coat almost brushing the dirt of ground because of its length. Luckily the park was pretty much empty in the small hours of the night, so Shirahane didn't look like some monologue-freak.

- ... Are you usually free during the night? - with almost torrid voice Shirahane asked. He was pretty much a beat from all the reaping he did today.

- Not really. - simple and clean answer, as to be expected from someone who looked so not affected by the dead people today.

- How come then... - Gin paused, while his gaze got lost in the far.

- How come what? - Death's gaze was pretty much at the same far direction, but pretty aware of the question coming.

- ... How come then you didn't reap last night and even now? - the human averted his head to Death, looking for some change of that beautiful and cold expression.

But the damned god was so calm, nothing he could read from the body language. It was a dead silence and that one was the hardest to 'read'.

- Well, I suppose even I can have nights off? - a faint and quick smile appeared on lips as his gaze stood focused at the pointless and far direction; though there was a tree that way. And Shirahane stole a glance from the gaze's direction but couldn't figure what was so interesting in that tree to be stared at.

- ... Right..

Although Death couldn't lie when asked a question, he could choose his words in the answer. So did he. It wasn't a lie, he had nights off. But Gin actually didn't manage to ask the question in its right manner, so he could get the right answer - lucky Death, huh.

 

- Poor thing. - Death suddenly commented, still staring at the tree.

- ... Poor thing? - Shirahane had to blink away the answer, but still not fully able to brush it away. Probably it was his curiosity.

- It's dying. - a lift of plastic and cheap cup of tea, he sipped from the beverage.

Gin tore his gaze away from Death to the tree's direction and then back fastened at Death. The tree looked pretty...lively?

- Er... I suppose if it's you saying it... - Shirahane felt seriously no match for this man...or whatever he was.

- You are so mean. - Death finally moved his beautiful gaze to the human, the color of, illuminated by the moon, light blackcurrant caught Shirahane breathless. The circle of Gin's pupils widened as if partly knowing what Death meant, but yet he had to ask. After all, humans always ask.

- How come I am mean?

- Ah, you know very well, don't you? - that smile was deadly serious despite being a smile.

- ... You know... despite being Death...you are pretty annoying... - Gin felt that no other word could hide his guilt for what he did last night, but still had Death to say it so...bluntly?

Suddenly a gentle tone of laughter came out of the god's lips.

- Ahahahaha, that was a first.

- W--what? What was a first? - dense, he was.

- Well, you are probably the only one in the whole world sitting on a bench with Death, who is by the way drinking plain and cheap tea, still alive and to top it... calling him 'annoying'.

Suddenly Shirahane felt a chill wildly rushing through spine; damn true.

- Um...and that is a reason to laugh? - awkwardly averting eyes to side, he felt seriously in some deep shit there but not backing off.

- That's why you are mean. - Death left the fragile male's body out of his sight as returned his gaze to the tree.

- ... - Shirahane frowned up, truly wondering if their definition of 'mean' was same.

- Poor thing. - Death said again.

- ...Right, it is to die soon... - a roll of eyes as he was sure that the conversation was no where to either friendly or at least to human's grasp of understanding. So he did no effort to even ask why a tree could be 'poor'.

- Not the tree. You.

- Huh? - Shirahane quickly turned head to the already staring at him Death, who slowly curved the sight of gentle smile on lips.

- ... Why ... why I am the poor thing now? I am going to die, too? - Gin had to break the awkward silence between both.

- No. You can't die.

- I can't die? But you can kill me and I was supposed to die?

- True.

- Then.............?

- Hm. - Death looked away as the night breeze dangled the chain between them two. Was it fate or Death beckoned the wind on purpose, so he had to remind to Shirahane their current situation?

- Say... did I ask a question, too? Like,you know..that woman... - Gin changed the topic, recalling how uncomfortable he felt with his first soul's question today.

- You don't remember? - a bit surprised Death lifted a brow.

- So I did, huh? - smart, damn smart human.

- You did.

- If I did, why am I back? - the tensed stare and composure of Shirahane gave his nervousness away.

- Because it was a damn stupid question. - Death laughed, recalling. Somehow he seemed to enjoy that human, so why not tease him.

- ... Thanks? - not aware of his sulky face, Shirahane looked to the tree's direction. The silence grew louder, only the rustling of leaves could be heard around them. The wind could have no form, no fragrance and no color, but it could always leave a trace. Gin's gaze landed onto the tree, thinking pretty much the same. However, he felt that 'nothing' in his chest grow to 'sadness'. If that tree was to die, what trace could wind leave? In fact, what trace could a tree leave?

- ..Poor thing.. - he mumbled, not even realizing it but when he did and looked right to his left; knowing what Death meant already, he found only a sad smile on the god's lips. So, that was it? It was all about what you could leave as a testament. Surely the tree had its purpose, but no one would think about it. Like Gin, he was just an ignorant.

- I am sorry... - the human had nothing else to offer to Death; for all he did and for all he thought up until now.

On other hand, Death let his eyes slide close, his smile fading away. That wasn't the thing he wanted to hear, nor a thing that could fix anything. But even so, he knew humans. They were that way, even if it could or couldn't fix anything, they felt the selfish need to say 'sorry'.

- Let's go. - the Albus god stood abruptly and tugged the chain connecting them, forcing Gin on feet.

- Eh!? Reaping? - he asked right away, staring at that wide and firm clothed back.

- No, idiot. You need to sleep, don't you? - Death glanced over shoulder, his light blackcurrant eyes having the teasing sparkle.

- Hey, you don't call your partner 'idiot' - a frown formed to guard his ego.

- Pf. Long way to be my partner. Still a servant.

- Who is your servant, you brute!

With laughter Death led the way.

 

------------------------------------

 

When in fact the servant was me, but of course he wouldn't know what power he had over me, Death. The problem was if he was actually to know it. But I think if it was him, he wouldn't abuse that godly powerful chain, to turn upside down the world, right? But after all, he was just a human. They would always allow corruption overtake. So I was careful, careful to not let Shirahane taste the deadly power of my existence. The last time a human got a hold of the jurar, well..let's just say that I had to work my ass off and clean the mess I allowed to happen. Slowly, but surely. Surely I knew, he would either be the peak of my existence, or the end of me.

 

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I've just discovered this fiction and I read it all before even realizing ^_^ It's a very good fiction, it has flow, I love the way the characters are built and that tension between Gin and death. Keep it up ^_^

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[SUPREME CURIA]

 

The need to be judged. Your ultimate excuse to justify the understanding of right and wrong. I remember the days when all creatures awaited for the Supreme Curia* to judge them. But with time, little by little, some species decided they don't need that court. One of them were humans, of course. And they strangely created their own laws, their own Supreme. And started acting like gods. I suppose you wonder if I am one of the Supreme Curia, the great court that decided what fate could do. No, I am not part of it although I have far greater powers than them. However, the connection between them and me is more complex than any explanation could be given. In fact, whatever I try to give as an explanation to a mortal, they would either end up as mental or would check me in the category of mental. Do you understand, mortal? You are not created to grasp everything and you are blessed from the moment of your creation with ignorance. Opposite of me who was cursed by creation with the grasp of everything. Long, long time ago, when the universe was whole and I don't needed to reap but teach, every single one of the species were in peace. I used to have a brother who was the complete opposite of me. He was bright, lively, kindhearted and forgiving. Well, basically, he is still the same. My brother, my fate and my Lord - he was. He ruled over the universe and not a single soul or spirit could deny his hand. They and I would bow before him. Nonetheless, corruption is everywhere even back then. When the universe knew the taste of the truth and felt the destruction of corruption for first time. Whenever there was power, there would be temptation. Whenever there was a law, there would be denial. Whenever there was peace, there would be a war. And you all are in a war, as for me...I am just the everlasting testament of that war. If you cry for the truth, I beg for the lie. If you cry for the reality, I..I beg for my past that seemly turned into a forgotten fragment of an old soul such as mine.. I am tired, human. But you cannot even imagine my definition of 'tired'. I saw enough.

 

------------------------------------

Their synchronized steps were making their way to a roughly but still deserted parcel of old constructions. Shirahane was following behind Death, his eyes dancing around the unknown place. Without even noticing his shoulders felt slightly stabbing sensation of cold pinch, they seemingly passed through a barrier. Probably if he wasn't connected to Death, he'd never imagine that other dimensions could exist. As soon as they pierced through the transparent to eye barrier, the place changed ...not.

Gin blinked a few times, swearing on his own that he indeed felt as if they were passing through something similar like passing through walls. But yet, the deserted parcel looked the same; or might be a bit darker and colder than before?

- Er... - he attempted a start of some conversation but felt odd to call 'Death' by no other name besides...'Death'. As for the Albus god, he heard the male's doubtful beginning of speech, but didn't say anything. He kept walking in front of the human.

- Do you have...a name? - Shirahane shyly lifted his gaze from the ground to land it onto the tall and firm figure of Death.

- No. - a lie, in fact, the only lie Death was allowed to speak.

- So...I keep calling you 'Death'?

- I couldn't care less how you call me. - strangely Shirahane didn't like the answer Death gave. So he made a grimace.

- ..Fine. I will call you 'Dwarf' - beside the fact that Death was nowhere to being a dwarf, Gin liked these animations with dwarfs he watched when a kid. The human was pretty content with the idea and went all happy about, to bump into Death's back.

- Ufff! - the light brown haired male rubbed his nose from the bump, to look up at Death,

- Why did you stop!?

- Seriously. How can you even relate me to these annoying midgets!? - by slightly irritated voice Death spoke, which made Shirahane wonder if dwarfs like these in animations existed.

- Wait... they exist? - Gin blinked.

- If it was up to me, I'd wipe their existence off this universe.

- ... You dislike dwarfs? - Gin tilted head to side, trying to peek from Death's shoulder's side.

- Dislike? - Death glanced to side, catching Gin's eyes in a tensed up gaze-dance,

- I can't even stand them.

- Ooookay, no 'dwarf' name for you. - with roll of eyes, Gin looked aside to hear an announcement.

- We are here. - Death stood tall, gazing up at a certain old building that had a different atmosphere around than the rest of the constructions.

- What actually is this place? - standing right next to the Albus god, Shirahane stared.

- What humans call 'hotel'.

Gin blinked and turned to Death questionably.

- Wait-- ..how--... what? - not that he didn't comprehend the word 'hotel', he couldn't get how come Death knew about hotels. And how come he knew this place? It couldn't be that... other humans met him? Or he booked there before? What the serious jesus-ingly hell?

- Follow me.

- ...Right, last time I heard that I ended up crashing into walls.. - Shirahane mumbled as followed.

 

The moment they stepped into the hotel, Gin almost jaw dropped. From the outside this place looked like a ruin, but its interior looked as a five-stars hotel. But that aside, he could swear that before his eyes an elf was gesturing for a room's keys.

- D-Death...am I..-

- No, you are not dead. - calmly the damned god made his way to the information desk, where a faceless woman nodded chin.

- Welcome! We are pleased to see you again, Death.

"..'See'? You don't even have eyes!!!" , Gin stared intensely at the faceless woman that had only a pair of lips, his own lips slightly parted. Rather, he looked like some handicapped. The woman turned her head to Gin's direction which startled him.

- I can see rumors were true after all. - she said, obviously no human could step into that hotel. The only way a human could pass the portals in all dimensions and still be alive was with Death's jurar.

- How long has it been? - an odd question came off Death's lips and Shirahane looked up at the beautiful god's face.

- Since you went missing?

- I call it vacation. Be exact, please. You know I dislike to be misinformed.

- 25 years. - scared, the woman went straight to the point.

Gin couldn't control his blinking, this time he was seriously lost in the conversation. What was going on? Death was with him for almost two days and ...what?

The Albus god clicked with tongue from discontent and looked aside. He looked troubled and it was the first time Shirahane saw his troubled face. The human chose wisely to be quiet.

- Will you book, Death? You know that this place is not safe for you especially since the recent doings of yours?

The damned god averted gaze to the woman, his chain visible for all eyes in the hotel.

- Hah. Who do you think I am? I book. That room.

The faceless woman shook head as if she knew Death wasn't one to back off. No matter the situation he was in, there was a reason to be chosen among the dozen and dozen of species, for he was Death.

- Here. Your keys. Enjoy your stay.

Shirahane noticed that she gave him a strange and different from the rest key. Not only that, she avoided his touch. Trying hard to ask questions not, they both made their way to upstairs. Something told Gin to look not around, feeling the stares of different people...creatures, whatever they were on his body. However, Death seemed not effected, like always. That man seemed so cold. So composed and so lonely. The human kept his gaze at the straight and firm shoulders of Death. He felt nostalgia crawling up his chest, it was a weird feeling and he felt it only when looking at Death. Was it because of the chain connection between them two, that he felt something? Or probably he felt Death's own feelings? Then, Death felt nostalgic?

 

They stopped before a door. That door though was so different. Made of white iron but the symbol on it..Gin saw it blurry. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, but no use. He couldn't see the number of the room. Then naturally the rubbing of eyes came. Death turned his head to Gin, watching him blankly.

- What are you doing?

- I don't know... - he kept rubbing eyes and staring intensely at the blurry number.

Death stole a glance from what Shirahane was trying to see.

- Ah, the number. - Death chuckled.

- What? You can see it?

- Correction. Only I can see it.

- Why!?

- Because it's the date of my birth. - Death grinned.

- Ah, right. - he nodded as if getting it, but it was just the opposite.

- You wonder why only I can see it?

- ... Is it so obvious? - Shirahane sulked up at Death, his green eyes with the glitter of curiosity.

- Rather than obvious you are screaming it. - Death smiled as looked back at the door.

- Because that's the number of how many times I have to die before the universe is destroyed and nothing will be left. Not even your beloved God. Such a number is dangerous.

- You can die!?

- Can't I? - teasingly Death answered with a question, his lips with a mocking grin.

- Dwarf.

- Now. Watch it. - Death frowned like a child and opened the door, but not really angry. He just let Gin think that he got him this time. And so the human went all happy,

- Hehehe~

 

What was behind the door could be said to be surprising. One single room, small room. Dust embracing all the decoration though there were mostly books. Books in all kind of languages ,even some weren't known by humans.

-Er...is that your room or something like that? - Gin suggested.

- Correction. This is a room only I can enter.

- ...Well...wow? - Gin blinked and seemingly it was a habit to blink so much for the past two days.

- Go on and sleep.

- Eh? You brought me here to sleep?

- ... No, I brought you here to make out. Of course, to sleep. - Death was particularly tired. How wouldn't he be? He was used to answer only one question per soul and for two days he answered so many questions to the very same soul.

Gin got flustered there, not taking it as a mock on. Probably the fact he-..

- .. Ah, I see.

- W-w-what!?

- That explains a lot. - Death grinned widely.

- What explains a lot? - Shirahane was self-conscious and got nervous.

- Why you captured the right hand of mine. You are a virgin, aren't you?

- ............ I!! Am going to sleep! - a major turn and he found his way onto the bed.

Death looked aside with a lift of brow, his grin still on. How cute. He should have known it in fact, the only way such a heavily broken soul to be pure was to be virgin. But it was rare to meet such, so he wouldn't even imagine it. It was so long since Death could feel the taste of being surprised. Somehow, he loved it.

The human seemed to be asleep soundly for such a short time, couldn't be blamed after the reaping they did for a whole day. And it was mostly Shirahane doing the job. Death was content that he didn't reap heavily sinned souls because he knew... it would scare Gin. But sooner or later, he would and it couldn't be avoided. Sadly, Shirahane had to see why every single being bowed before Death with fear.

 

------------------------------------

 

I am Death, after all.

Legend:

Curia*

[coviria (“male community”)]

cūria {f} (genitive cūriae);

court;

meeting house.

 

 

 

 

 

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I love the story, it's both interesting and funny when Death plays with Shirahane and when the later becomes awkward or sulky.

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[THE ALBUS GOD]

 

Eons, eras, periods, epochs and ages - they all pass like seasons change. I watched the sun wake up and the moon sleep for so long that I forgot what it was to call it 'yesterday'. For me all seems.. 'today'. But if I have to tell you about my 'yesterday', I'd probably tell you about the time when I wasn't Death yet. It was during the 'absolutus pax'* when all creatures lived in one single dimension. We didn't need separation, we didn't need to kill each other. All we had to do was to follow the law of our Supreme Curia, our rulers and our gods. Alas things didn't last. Some believed 'fate' got corrupted and denied the pack of the supreme gods and others believed that the supreme gods themselves were corrupted. What I believed in? My brother - The King of Terra. However, beliefs change with time. If you ask me what I believe in as Death.., well, it's simple - Life. Of all beings in the universe I, indeed, do know the value of Life. Heh, despite being the opposite of it.

 

So many things changed since then. I am the oldest of all and still I feel like the youngest one, seemingly, I froze in a time where I feel at peace. It is not that I can't accept the changes or the present, it's just I don't care about it. Same way like humans don't value their lives, I though don't value the future. Whatever it will be, so shall it be. I stopped caring whether I can change something or not. Because I find humans for the biggest sin of universe. So, take a seat and enjoy what I can offer because I doubt I will invite you a second time.

 

----------------------------------

 

The room where Shirahane and Death were staying at had no ray of technology or something to make you feel like being in present days, rather the light within the room was coming from something similar to candles though their flames were white. Gin was sleeping like a baby, cocooned in a single layer of blanket, while Death was sitting on the armchair beside the bed. His gloved and chained hand was holding a book, the Albus god was pretty much static so the chain wouldn't make any noise. His light blackcurrant eyes were fastened at the old book's pages, to glance over the briefly flinching body of Shirahane. He almost forgot that humans could dream. And then, back to the book. Probably if Gin was awake, he would think the silence was awkward but Death found that silence for pretty much relaxing. Only if he wouldn't count the breathing coming from the human. Another glance came as his head tilted to side, letting his cheek lean against the relaxed on elbow hand, knuckles gently pressing against his skin.

- So it began. - Death mumbled under breathe, gaze sinking onto the body before him.

 

**

Awake or not, he was gazing at such a clear sky. Shirahane almost forgot to breathe. Breathe? Was he breathing? The male jerked up, to sit up; his palm came up to pat chest. Was he dead now?

- Where the... - the light brown haired male turned head from side to side, making sure to check all places engraved in his head, in order to find some similar to the current one. A field of yellow tulips. But no, nothing came to his mind; it was another unknown place... Another?

Shirahane started looking around even more intensely.

- Death...? - however, he realized that no answer would come no matter how many times he'd call Death.

The field was so cheerful and peace-giving, if he wasn't aware of these supernatural things he met the past two days, he'd most probably enjoy the sight. Alas, his mind was pretty much 'awake'? So, if it wasn't a dream...what was it? Because he knew he went to sleep, and now he was here. Did Death bring him somewhere and then abandoned him? To be expected. Shirahane lowered his head, staring at his feet.

- Well...nothing to mourn over.., it has been always this way... - on his way to dive into his despair, a sudden pair of cheerful voices echoed around that field.

- Come on! You said you are gonna beat my ass off! - laughter could be heard as running steps followed the tune.

- Seriously! Sometimes I think you are the kind between us two! Stop running! - somehow known by the senses voice replied.

Shirahane had to raise from the ground, his hair gently ruffled by the dancing wind in between the green and the yellow of that field. He saw two beautiful, more beautiful than any grasp of beauty, children running his way. The child that was in front had really bright hair, some strands were like liquid'd gold while others were warm brown color. The other kid strangely had the same color Death had. No, it wasn't strange and Shirahane knew it. These light blackcurrant eyes were the same, almost the same. Right now they looked happy. When the two of them closed by even more, he could see even more details. Their clothes, their smiles and the atmosphere they gave.

- D..Death? - Gin followed the running by him child, but it looked like he was invisible for the kid. Was it some imagination of his or he could see memories? It had to be a memory. By instinct Shirahane followed the children with their pace. He ran and listened to the conversation of...

- BROTHER! I AM SERIOUSLY-!!! - Death frowned as his elder brother was making faces at him since he was faster than Death.

Shirahane's green eyes widened and moved attention to the other kid. He knew something new. So Death had a brother? Who could image!? His curiosity was hungry for more.

- You are seriously what? - the child laughed hard, mocking on his younger brother. They both seemed so relaxed even if the situation was one of tease. None of them though was out of breathe. Which wasn't same for Gin. Were they too fast and unhuman-like or the memory made it hard for Shirahane to travel further within? Suddenly the field started wittering, as if the darkness was chasing after the three of them. Gin looked over shoulder, feeling chills on spine. He sensed danger similar to death. What he was thinking? After all...the kid before him was Death, right? He averted his head back, but the bright memory of the children was like fading into the already dying tulips.

- Wha-...WAIT! DEATH! - he tried to run faster and catch up with the memory, however it seemed impossible. His arm trying to reach for Death's small back. And for a second, Shirahane could have sworn, the kid in front Death seemed to smile straight at Gin.

 

Still trying to catch up with what happened, Shirahane slowed down his pace until he hit a stand at one place. The darkness seemed to surround him, the field was dead. The sky was dark and rain promised to whip the wittered land. He felt the cold drops against shoulders and cheeks. Not sure what he was supposed to do, he just stood there. Oddly aware that it wasn't up to him when to wake up. If he was to wake up. When his chin nodded down, his eyes slid close. He felt really tired from the chase, and yet scared. From the far he could hear the riot of thunders coming, as if about to announce something bad. Was it another memory of Death? Shirahane opened his eyes slowly. It wasn't curiosity anymore. He thought if Death saw all he was allowed to see now, then..that wittered field was part of Death's mind,too? Dared he peek and see the dark side of that man?

 

The human lifted his chin, pretty assured he wouldn't back off. He would stare at whatever was showed and revealed. But nothing else was there. Just a dead land. Wherever he turned to, it was dead. Although he knew it wouldn't be of any use, he tried to call him.

- Death? - the male made a few steps forth, his heart raising alive although the death around him. It smelled like death and felt like death. So cold, so dark and so lonely. His green eyes could see the real meaning of Despair. Before he was to part lips and try calling again, thunder illuminated the sight of two figures on his right side. Gin moved his torso to that direction, eyes widened for the beauty of Death. He looked a bit younger of his current form and his hair was very long, but yet it was him. Right after he recognized Death, only naturally was to move attention to the other figure.

- Brother. - Death spoke by low voice, his clothes torn and dirty. Gin thought what one would think, did they fight? After all, the elder brother was also in mud and even wounded.

- Do say... - a thunder roared as if muting on purpose part of what the other said, - ..., why?

- Terra is no longer alive. But if the king is left alive, Terra will live.

- Fool. You can't deny the Curia.

Death knew it was true, his gaze lowered before his brother, rather his King.

- I..couldn't care less. - his husky voice had not even a drop of doubt.

- What are you saying!? - back to his anger, the elder brother pulled Death off the ground by the clothe,

- Do you know what will happen, if I live!?

Shirahane felt the urge to move closer, but his feet could move not. He couldn't see Death's face clearly. He wondered what face he showed, for the elder brother to be in such a desperate disbelief.

- I know. You will be the King and that's all.

- But you--

- Who cares? Do you want to die by my hand or give the birth of Death? - Death himself rose his voice, a thing Shirahane never thought would witness.

- ..You will never change.. Can't you see? We can't deny the Curia. Even if you kill me or choose not to,

one day this thing will happen again. The difference will be that...it's going to be one of our descendants. Listen to me, follow the final order of your King!

A pause as if they waited for the rain's peak, both of them and Shirahane soaked by the cold embrace of water. Death's bleeding arm raised to capture his brother's hand, which was gripping him by the clothe, by the wrist. It looked as if Death was taking a goodbye, so strong the grasp looked.

- .. No.

- You--!! - before even the elder brother could react, Death was already reaching for the sword on his brother's side, pulling his own blood and flesh into a tight embrace.

- ... Long..live the King..- Death coughed the praise of their nation, accepting an oddly shining sword into his chest.

Gin's eyes fell into shock. He couldn't understand so many things. Death died? But he sounded like a mortal and he even said 'birth of Death'. So many thoughts and questions took place in Gin's head at once. He made a step back, the memory was too painful even for him. For some stranger and mortal. He thought Death was just a being created to bring pain to people just shortly until all was over. When in fact, Death accepted their pain and left pain only for what would remain. And the proof were his brother's tears.

**

 

A sharp and sudden raise, Shirahane sat up in his bed. It was already morning and his eyes caught the calm and composed presence of Death. He was sitting right there, holding a book and not even effected by the dramatic way Gin awoke. As if he partly knew.

- Slept well? - Death asked with eyes still on the certain page.

- ... - speechlessly Shirahane stared at the other; was he mocking on him?

Just when he thought that Death didn't really care, suddenly the blackcurrant eyed male averted his attention to Shirahane. His eyes filled with the knowledge of whatever Gin could think of. It was like nothing could surprise that being. Not even the fact Shirahane peeked at his memories.

- What...what was that?

- My dream.

- Your...dream? - Gin lifted a brow, surely doubting that he dreamed the dream of someone else. What, serious what?

- Well, I dreamed through you. Kind of.

- ... Am I your dream bin or something? - Shirahane frowned, first time hearing something like that.

- Well, I don't sleep. But you do.

- And?

- And you are me in my human form.

- What?

- And you are me in-..

- SERIOUSLY. STOP REPEATING.

- Okay. - Death returned his gaze to his book and turned a page.

- Um.. won't you explain, at least? - a little uncomfortable and awkward after he yelled, he was curious after all.

- What you can't understand of what I said?

- The...the whole thing?

Death glanced over blankly, his eyes screaming 'are you an idiot'.

- You are Shirahane Gin.

- That I know...

- And I am Death.

- ... Yes...And?

- Then, you are Shirahane Death. Or Death Gin?

- ... Am I your wife!?

- Uh. If you put it that way, sure.

- ... WHAT!? - Gin's cloth fell off his shoulders, his messy hair sticking out.

- The connection between us two allows us to see and feel fragments of the other. - Death moved his hand to dangle the chain.

- Oh... so I dreamed a thing you dreamed before? Or?

- Yes and no.

- Uh?

- You dreamed a thing that happened before and a thing I used to dream.

- You used to dream? Wait, it happened? You have a brother?

- ... Which question to answer first?

- ... Sorry - Gin looked down, realizing that he was actually asking something from a very delicate topic.

- It happened, indeed. - Death moved his gaze to the small window, the fog preventing any ray of light in that dimension. However, he continued.

- It was very, very long time ago. It was the time of my death and the time of my birth. After I was born as Death, I still had dreams for the first sixty or eighty years. Then I realized, I was able to sleep not.

- Oh... He.. he was a King? - Gin dared to ask.

- Heh. The only King I bowed before.

- Is.. is he...-

- Is he alive? - Death smiled gently.

- Yeah...

- No. He was mortal.

- Then you were mortal, too?

- You really ask stupid questions. - Death chuckled and rose from the armchair. The tick and the tack, Jaropht was about to appear.

- ... - Gin decided to say a word not, he was asking too much already. Besides, he had the whole time in the universe to dream. Sooner or later, he knew he would know more. If not off Death, it'd be through his dreams.

 

----------------------------------

Legend:

absolutus pax {Latin}

[absolute peace]

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I checked to see if u updated it with some ch n there were 4 new ch looooool this story is awesomeness *____* keep going :D

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[MESSOREM KOU - REOSS]

 

If you wonder whether I have wished to be reaped and fully destroyed - there were such times, indeed. It was when I couldn't shake off the sensation and the thought I was a mortal before. However, I got numb. I know things that the universe no longer remember. I know dangerous things that can bring any being and any life to annihilation. It's not about being smart or wise. You just hit the point of 'nothing else to learn'. Each single gesture - I can read it. Each single mask - I can stir it. Each single type of silence - I can hear it. Because beyond the silence, there we lay what was most important. However, the price for the knowledge was my heart. I don't even know where I left it. Did I drop it somewhere along the path I took? Did I reap it myself? Notwithstanding though, he was a new book I had to read. A kind of book that the universe forgot to register in my library. A book that had the power to change even Death. I still couldn't figure..what was different in that mortal? Why did I bring him back? It wasn't because he denied to believe in fate. Many souls denied fate. I think..I liked his reasoning.

 

---------------------

 

The season changed in a blink of eye and the warmth of summer was no longer there. The end of autumn was pretty rainy. Opposite of Shirahane, Death liked the rain. The human had to notice his silence during the rainy nights, when nothing else but the drums of cold drops played against the roof. Gin wondered what Death hid behind that nostalgic smile and the distant gaze outside the window. If the dream he had a few months ago about the two brothers has happened, wasn't it more likely to dislike the rain? Who would love the remembrance of something painful? And by the look of it, Death wasn't fond of pain. Seemly, he was used to it. That very same rainy night was the same. Quiet and rainy. The two of them kept jumping from dimension to dimension, reaping and hiding. It was true. Gin finally started to try and imagine. What it was like to spend an eternity with the never ending duty to reap. But whatever he picked close to his imagination, nothing really couldn't be related to what Death saw and felt during the eons. The light brown haired male was cooking for himself for first time in some months. The silence in the kitchen was growing bigger but never felt awkward. Shirahane never knew such a silence. One of a kind, to be said. Nothing could break it, but yet it felt better with it. Death was standing tall near the windowsill, his arms crossed before firm chest, in between velvet lips a cigarette spiraled its smoke upwards.

- I didn't know you were a smoker. - Gin broke the silence, his hands busy with the chopping of veggies.

- Probably you missed it in between the dreams, peeping tom. - Death commented, of course not really troubled that Shirahane started dreaming more often recently.

The human frowned, obviously not liking his new nickname.

- Well, if you don't want me to peek, why not stop it?

Death averted his eyes to the male's direction, eying that fragile back. His blackcurrant eyes were consuming every inch of the body, engraving the figure in his mind.

- Not like it'd change something.

- ... - Shirahane turned around, just for a stare.

- What? You'll get less curious, if I do that?

- ... - the human couldn't keep up with the truth, so he returned to his chopping, mumbling under nose "dwarf".

- ... I heard that. - Death made a grimace as his attention got back to the rain.

 

And again - silence.

"Idiot. Why do I even worry when he seems so comfortable to the point of mocking on me? Seriously...", Gin was getting all upset by himself and sped up the cutting of vegetables that got him clumsy for a second there. Enough to cut his index.

- .............. - he paused the chopping, his lips pretty much curving the form of a painful pout.

.

.

.

.

- HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS! - he finally yelled out, his chained hand holding onto the wounded one, the weight of his body slightly leaning on side only naturally.

As for Death, well, he was already behind him with chin a bit over Gin's shoulder as his torso bent forth.

- Are you an idiot? - bluntly said, the Albus god out-stretched his gloved hand to capture the bleeding palm.

- It's because of you! Don't call me 'idiot', you idiot!

- ..Right. - not effected by the other, Death pulled forcefully the human's hand to his lips; the cigarette still there and some thoughts passed Shirahane's mind. However, the damned god only placed a kiss against the bloody wound, enough for it to start healing. That god held a destructive power, yet he could use it for some gentler acts.

The light haired male had his surprise written all over face and by instinct he pulled his hand away, close to his chest. Death lowered gaze, tugging at some weird strings within Gin's chest. It wasn't that the human liked him, but he saw such sides of Death that probably would make you wonder - how such a god could be so cruel in the humanity's eyes. Maybe humans did it on purpose, maybe the world did it on purpose. To describe such a gentle being in such a brute way. Or...it was only Gin that was special and didn't know how cruel Death could be? The green eyes of the male let their gaze down, staring at his feet. How stupid he was to think he was special. Probably it was that he didn't know Death at all. No matter how often he tried to sleep and dig into the god's memories - he couldn't read them well. He couldn't read Death's feelings well. Yes, dozen of pain was there...but how come his gaze was so powerful and able to bring you on knees? The human rose his eyes to glance over Death. These light blackcurrant eyes with their slit pupils when excitement took place in Death's chest, how Gin loved them. The male could get lost in them and he wouldn't mind it. He needed only months, to know how gentle Death could be. Why the world believed otherwise? But then again...wasn't Shirahane one to believe that God, fate and the world itself were cruel? He wasn't different in any way, yet Death had mercy over his soul. Gin took it as a second chance, but he slowly started to believe..the second chance was just a mere try to make you sink deeper.

- Say...won't you tell me what I asked you?

- You asked me many things.

- But one thing made a difference, didn't it?

- Heh. Why do you believe so? - Death leaned closer, setting both hands on each side of the human, pinning him against the edge of the sink counter.

- I am alive and this is not normal. I..of all people.. - his shoulders relaxed, an obvious sign for Death that the despair was reigning withing the human's chest. What he had to do to make that despair disappear?

- What is normal, Shirahane? - his cold voice stabbed the human straight into the core of his frozen soul.

- .. I don't know..? May be.. these Sundays humans have, free of duties and enjoying the afternoon tea?

- That is what you believe to be normal.

- Then... what do you believe is normal, Death?

The Albus god widened his pupils, not expecting such a question. And he was never asked that to begin with. For his own opinion, no one cared. Like from the very beginning when he had to make the most hardest choice a being could make.

- Normal? Normal doesn't exist anymore, Shirahane. We all are damned to believe we are normal, when in fact it was just a single choice I made long ago. To let the normal exist, or to break it apart. Normal will never be reborn. In this world, only insanity is normal. The sooner you accept it, the better it'd be.

The freezing truth store Gin's layers of despair, letting his bare soul exposed to this man's cruel and cold gaze. Despite the reality Gin was forced to accept, he could never bring himself to hate Death. Moreover, he actually couldn't really understand what choice Death made in that rainy night back then.

- Do you..miss your brother? - the question slipped from the human's lips before he could realize it.

- ..That's your problem. - suddenly Death's voice dropped low as he leaned even closer,

- You can't stop seeing me as a human being, can you? Shirahane, I can flick my fingers and twist your neck right away and I wouldn't care or regret. Can a human being do that?

Gin stood at one place, not able to escape the judging eyes of the god. His whole being trembling in fear, but still enough of insane to answer.

- We do even worse. - his gaze replied with same intensity to Death's one.

- ... - the cigarette had its ash tip drop down on floor as Death smirked,

- There you go. You are pretty normal, aren't you? - he rocked off and stepped back, chuckling at Gin's answer. Insanity was normal.

But the human took it else. Yeah, he was normal and not special. Why he wanted to be special anyway? He wanted to break the damned god's walls and yet was the one wrecking. How stupid to think that Death could have feelings, but sometimes he knew it same way he breathed...deep within this man was crying and his sad gaze was most saddest thing he could ever imagine.

- It healed. - Death commented as glanced over the human's hand that had only blood left but no actual trace of wound.

- Oh... - Shirahane blinked as stared at his hand. He had that natural instinct to take care of his hands since he was a doctor. And it was a habit to be paranoid about any wound on hands. The light haired male lifted up his chin with the brightest smile he had,

- Thank you, Death!

 

---------------------

 

That was something new. I never heard that line. I didn't have the chance to. It was like a foreign language to me. I simply knew these words, but never would think what power they could have. That human. He got me.

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The kiss on the finger made me nosebleed *___* I'll die of hotness when these two hit on it :cuteonion45:

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[OBSCURITY]

 

So funny the paradox could be. I knew if I would let him in, he would want out. If I would tell the truth, he'd vie for the lie. If he followed me, he'd only get lost. And still, it was inevitable. I couldn't hide my true colors for too long. I had to be merciless. I couldn't let like or dislike take part in my reaping, for I chose that path myself. And even if I regretted or mourned over it, it was too late. And when it is too late, the only things you had left were either 'acceptance' or 'self-destruction'. Nonetheless, I already let my liking for him take part of my duty. That. Had to end.

---------------------

 

Fully aware that he abandoned his life as a doctor, the human had nothing else but to follow Death. Slowly the cognizance was crawling up his conscious, he wondered why that god put his duty on a hold and let only Shirahane do the reaping. Could it be he lost his powers of a reaper or he hid something? Both of them were walking down a dark corridor located in a big company in the south part of France. Seemingly though it was first time they were out to get work done during the night. And it was first time when Death walked in front of Shirahane shoulder by shoulder with Jaropht. A sudden shift to side, they took the left wing of the building. One single office with lights on. Gin wondered who was so hardworking to stay behind until so late. But it wasn't the case and Death knew it. The person in that office was such a hypocrite, such an ugly soul. Greedy soul. When they were to enter the office through the door, Death turned around and gave the stare.

- Stay here. You are not invisible for his eyes. - reasoning himself with a truth, Death passed through the door with Jaropht. As for Gin, he stood there in the dark. He could only listen to what was going on. But never he would imagine what he was about to hear. The man was talking over the phone and of course not aware of their presence.

- I am telling you. I took care of all. All left is to get the money transferred safely.

.

.

- No, of course not. I made sure she wouldn't say a word. I doubt she'd like the idea of her kids taken away from her. - the man laughed but that laughter only made Shirahane step backwards. What was that ugly way of speech and the cruel tune of laughter? The human frowned up, catching up that the human was corrupted. Not a surprise, with such a huge office in such a big company. Gin's eyes made a fast observing over the place.

- I will get in touch with her, don't worry about it. Just do your part of the deal. - as soon as the phone was hung, the male coughed strangely. It was like he couldn't grasp some air or something. Shirahane wondered if Death was doing what they went there for. And so curious he was how Death looked like when reaping. The green glitters of his eyes followed the dangling jurar, which was like ghost-passing through the door. His pupils widened when he heard the thud. A step and two closer to the door, he placed his hand there with a soft and smooth lean of head against the wood. So badly, he wanted to peek. His free hand reached for the knob and twisted it. As soon the door creaked a bit, he saw the most terrifying thing he could imagine. Death was standing tall before the struggling in pain man. His black, gloved hand firmly settled on the other's forehead. His face mercilessly cold and these eyes of his were more than judging. They could pierce you with the bitter taste of regret, at least one who had something to regret - they would be forced to regret. That man on the floor kneeling, barely breathing. Was Death torturing him on purpose? Why he didn't finish it quickly and that was it!? Shirahane stepped in, his voice trembled not,

- What are you doing!? Why are you torturing him!!? - the human was partly disappointed by Death, not comprehending why he had to do that. However, Death could hear him not. Gin tried to reach his hand and touch the damned god's shoulder but Jaropht captured that hand.

- Shirahane.

- Let me go! He is doing wrong! Can't you see? - Gin reaped enough of souls to know their purity and beauty. He knew how enjoyable it was, to see their memories to answer to their questions. To see them smile for last and part. But yet, what he saw right now was more than ugly. And seemly Death wasn't even effected by the pain of that male. Was that what Death enjoyed? To torture?

- I can see. But the wrong one here is you. - Jaropht kept his grip around the wrist.

- WHAT AM I WRONG HERE!? - Shirahane turned his attention to Death and yelled again,

- DEATH!

- It's pointless to yell. He can't hear you.

- What? - Gin frowned up even more, staring at the secretary.

- You reap pure souls, Shirahane. If you feel the joy of their memories and the strength of purity rushing within your body... Death reaps the darkness.

- ... - the human slowly averted his head to Death. If it was enjoyable process for Gin...was it a painful process for Death? But the Albus god seemed so out of emotions.

- But he seems not in pain or anything! He doesn't even care the poor man there is struggling and begging to die!

- That's the price sinners pay. As for Death, a mere human like you will never understand his pain. - Jaropht seemed so troubled and his voice trembled for first time. It made Shirahane realize that Jaropht really treasured his boss.

A slap of hand, Shirahane brushed the secretary's hand and rushed to Death once again.

- Stop it! You idiot! - Jaropht tried to catch the human, but not in time. The boy embraced Death from behind, his face hidden in the fabric of the black coat.

- Stop it, Death... You tortured him enough... - not standing the painful gasps for air and the mute cries of that man, Gin hoped Death would come to his senses. But what were actually his senses? As Death asked him a few days ago, what was actually normal? Shirahane tightened his embrace. Death moved his head slightly to side, his eyes expressionless and cold. Disgusted by the man before him and still moved by the pureness of the man embracing him. What a contrast, he had to chuckle it out.

- Interesting.. - the Albus god hand moved away, tearing the Albus thread - finally. As soon it was torn, black and smoky energy rushed through Death's body. He consumed all the darkness like Shirahane consumed all the pureness. Of course, the man's spirit appeared for the final stage - the question.

- ... I.. I am dead.. - the man looked around, not able to even trust his eyes. He could witness his body lifeless on the floor and before him the tall figure of Death.

- But...why? I..I had so much to do... All I wanted was to have her.. Why she didn't want to accept me? Why? - the man lowered his head, Death stared expressionlessly as for Shirahane, he tilted his head away from the coat as his eyes caught in surprise. By 'her'...somehow he knew the man meant the woman he talked about. So his question was related to her, even in his last hour. Didn't that make him a good person, but yet...

Death spoke with voice washed off emotions and calmer than the reigning night around.

- Because you forgot how to love. And love has nothing to do with 'having', but 'giving'. What did you give to that woman, but pain? - cold and merciless his judgement was. But at least, the truth.

Without realizing it, Shirahane felt the warmth of departing tear off his chin.

- But! I loved her! - the spirit argued with Death.

- You loved yourself! - Death firmly stated the bitterness of truth. And the male had nothing to say back. He regretted what he did, but was too late. He had to accept it or to be destroyed by that regret.

- It's time. - Jaropht captured the male by the shoulder, ready to take him for the final tour.

And then the silence took place in the office. Shirahane and Death were alone.

.

.

.

- How long you intent to hold onto me? - Death averted his head to side, his eyes glancing to side.

- .. Oh.. OH! I am sorry! - Shirahane jumped back, a bit embarrassed of his acting and not to mention the tears. Wasn't he a man? What was with these tears? He brushed them off quickly and looked down, avoiding to show the redness of eyes.

- Shirahane. - Death looked back to forth, letting his board and firm back be the only thing Gin could see.

- W-what?

- I am the one who people ask questions. But for first time I feel the urge to be the one asking. - Death turned around, his chained hand in pocket while the other was out.

- A-asking? Asking what? - Gin looked up, blinking.

- Why..why are you crying for someone else's sake? - Death was pretty curious but his eyes gave him away not.

- Isn't it only natural...to be sad...to be happy and to regret? - Gin stared confident in his answer. They were like two reapers, skilled with their questions and answers related to others but not always skilled with the answers of importance for oneself. At least when the answers were so simple but yet so hard to be understood and grasped. Death's calm gaze rose in a surprise. It was natural...natural, indeed. It was okay to be sad. It was good to be happy. And only natural to feel regret. You always had choice to take and give these emotions. You always had the choice to comprehend them and accept them, or deny them. If Shirahane denied fate and God, what was the thing Death denied? The Albus god sighed a faint chuckle as nodded his chin down.

- Smartass..

 

---------------------

 

A mere human knew such a simple answer. An answer which I was supposed to know. But somewhere along the path I walked I forgot. Humans had the most essential thing some creatures lacked, including us gods. They could die so easily unlike us. But they could never be defeated. That was the most terrifying thing about them. I could not die, but the time and my regrets defeated me. Yet, he was there..having not a single thing to hold on - but he regretted not. And that made him strong.

 

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