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50 Shades of Despair


Saga
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It was an amazing chapter, powerful and descriptive. I could sense Gin's shock and despair when he witnessed the reaping and when he tried to stop Death. I liked a lot how Death got curious towards the end of the chapter and had the earmarks of a human being :D

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[DESPAIR'S FEATHER]

 

It's not that I can't feel emotions, I just can't recognize them. And because my job is to reap, not to feel - I don't even try to name any certain emotion. I just got used to go with the flow. There weren't many questions I couldn't answer. In fact, there were none. The difference between the question and the answer is pretty neat and big. The question could leave you wander and take on a journey, while the answer was merciless and could pin you into the forever. Especially if the truth. But even if it was a lie, it had its consequences. What would you rather, human? The lie or the truth? ..Truth, you say? Very brave of you. You want the whole truth? .. Yes, of course, you'd naturally say 'yes'. That now, is foolish. Do you know what destructive power the truth has? 'Even so'? Even so what? What do you want to accomplish with the truth? Self-ego stroke? Or you seek salvation? Ah, you want a reason. A reason for what? To exist? You already exist and your existence is uglier than any word can describe. Feeling bad now? Please, I haven't even started with the truth. No need to be sarcastic or ironic, the truth knows no such thing. What truth knows is despair. Tell me human, why are you so sad? Whatever reason you had, it was because of a certain truth in your life. Now, do you understand what truth can do? And you asked me for its most fearsome form, the ultimate truth.. you are out of your mind, but because I like it - I shall take you to there.. Where he.. where he saw the truth.

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Unusual was that day, November never felt so quiet as now. Gin wondered why the silence Death gave was so different and intense. Was it because of the last time Albus-collecting or Death had something else in mind? Not even one word the damned god said, not even took his hand out pocket to make the teasing and mocking dangle of the jurar. Shirahane had one last soul to reap though he was almost at his limit. The months were so busy for him, his skills polished but still he couldn't sleep much. His green eyes stole glances from time to time off Death, he noticed the Albus god finally took out his hand as they were standing on a road which separated them from a big hotel. He wondered if Death was about to reap, at least his free hand was now out. The human returned his gaze to the red light of traffic lights.

- Isn't it funny? - Shirahane spoke, his warm breath crashing into the coldness of November's calm and freezing air. Death had his head lowered, so the male couldn't say if the other paid attention to his words.

- I am starting to realize life, more or less.. You see, we humans always rush and sometimes we care not about the life's traffic lights. When all life wanted to give us was guiding, in a way. Hehehe.. - his silly chuckle was darted to the lame comparison he did. But it wasn't a complete lie. Death parted his lips as if to say something, but then no word came out. He just breathed out and no visible reaction of warm breath-cold air came out. Was his breath freezing even the coldness? Gin noted it down in his wonders, eyes stole a glance. But nothing else came to his mind, how he was supposed to break that glacial silence?

 

Death clenched lightly his hand, his lightly blackcurrant eyes emotionless. The darkness within was hard to tame and the only one could bear the pain of billion dark Albus threads was Death. The green light gave away a signal and they passed the road. It was getting dark, people were hurrying to go back home. Big crowd rushing around, making the streets busy. Death though saw nothing in front, his eyes settled onto the hotel. Shirahane was getting worried. The final step was made and as usual they stood before a door. Gin noticed that Death was taking long, so he reached for the knob--

- Shirahane...

Finally, he spoke. Gin paused and turned to side, eying Death. He couldn't see the face. Death was looking down, clenching his gloved fist as if holding back his destructive pain...or maybe anger? But as Jaropht said Gin couldn't read well Death. Although it looked like the damned god had something to say, he passed by Shirahane with a light bump of shoulder. As he passed through the door, Gin was ready to follow but suddenly the damned secretary appeared.

- I am afraid you cannot pass this time. - Jaropht got a pretty serious and scary look there. And how come he appeared just like that!?

- What? But I already saw ... how is done his way... - the human locked brows in a frown and tried to reach for the knob, but Jaropht got in a way.

- I am here because the boss wished so. You stay here.

It was weird and Gin didn't have to put much thought into it, to be able to understand it. He actually felt something was off.

 

Slow steps led Death to the human inside the room. His glacial breath spreading around the space, the weird color of his crystal mist hair switched to completely black as his eyes hit the bottom of despair. Finally he paused, the long, black coat following his turn. He couldn't name the feelings in his chest, but whatever they were called...they felt too heavy for the most oldest soul in the universe. He was seeing it, the soul's sin.

- I... - Death's chin rose with confidence in slow manner, the glass that the human's hand held dropped down, his heart contracting. Brought to knees, not able to grasp the meaning of the sudden pain which was different from a simple cardio related issue.

- I find you for guilty, Ryuuji Katou. - the Albus god's eyebrows trembled for a light frown as his hand rose with the power of the Supreme Curia's blessing and the universe judgement, Death finally saw the source of Shirahane's despair. And why he stayed in that ruined by the time house and why he dreamed about that male in his time of dying. Not even a drop of mercy could be found in Death's claws. He wanted to rip that heart out and even if it sounded monstrous, he'd love to eat it. For all he did, no mercy could be granted. Blood started rushing out his throat, Ryuuji coughed it out. Meanwhile Shirahane was trying to figure out what was going on.

- ... Jaropht.Are you hiding something?

- No. I am following orders.

- His? - a raise of brow.

- Yes.

- What were his orders?

- "Don't let the human inside". - Jaropht quoted his boss.

- Why?

Jaropht looked over shoulder, his face probably would show some emotion if it wasn't its paleness.

- Wished I knew what he is thinking sometimes. - a mumbled response, it confused a bit Shirahane.

- He is reaping, right? I can't get it... - steps made back and forth, the human was really confused. Death was acting odd lately. Suddenly his feet found a spot to freeze, the male rose chin.

- ... There is only one person he wouldn't want me to see dead. - Gin darted his stare at Jaropht,

- Tell me the name.

- I am not allowed to.

- ... - that really snapped Gin, - ..Fuck you and your orders! MOVE! - he made an abrupt shift, trying to push Jaropht aside, but instead finding the door behind he bumped into Death's chest. The human rose gaze up to find the cold eyes of Death. A second there got him startled. But the anger and the despair were bigger than the scariness these eyes gave.

- You... - wrinkled the small patch of skin between brows, Gin glared up, - ...Who did you reap just now?

The green eyed male looked aside, noticing the blood rolling off the slender and gloved fingers of Death.

- Ryuuji Katou. - said he by emotionless voice.

- ... - Gin swallowed hard, not because he found it out just now but because the fears of his were justified. The human raised his chained to Death hand to grip and pull Death by the coat.

- Wait! - Jaropht tried to stop Shirahane, but the Albus god tilted his head slightly to side as if it was a sign for Jaropht to disappear. So did he. Not even waiting for the silence to find its comfortable or awkward stance between the two of them, Gin shattered it to pieces with the right questions, that requested the right answers off Death.

- Did you...torture him? - the glare deepened as his grip tightened around the fabric of Death's coat.

- Yes. - not even trying to act regretful, the damned god replied shortly.

- You monster! - Shirahane lost it and forcefully bumped Death against the door. Not even caring if Death would avoid it with some ass-magic tricks. However, the Albus god took the harsh hit against the door. Of course, he wasn't affected. He kept gazing down at Gin. Feeling the odd sensation in chest, he wanted to embrace the agonized human, but could understand so much - Gin didn't want his embrace. He loved that dirty soul in the room and simply that brought forth Death's merciless judgement. In fact, one of his terrifying sides.

- What...what he did to deserve that!? ... Are you nuts!? The last soul...you didn't make him bleed...WHY DID YOU TORTURED HIM TO THE POINT OF BREAKING HIS BODY!? - not holding back his emotions and voice, Gin's eyes were in despair-ish flames. He gave away that fragrance, the fragrance only Death could sense. He wanted to die again...or...did he want to kill Death? Funny thought. Death reached his chained hand to tug off the grip and properly answer the question. At least, if anything he was good at, it'd be giving answers.But right now, he felt like avoiding it not.

- Because he was guilty.

- Guilty? What are you saying!? What he was guilty of? - the green eyes tried to dig deeper into Death's ones, tensed up from holding back a punch.

And then the last piece of the puzzle fell into its place. Finally Death understood.

"So he didn't know...", the glitter of these blackcurrant eyes returned, but doubtful was that Shirahane could notice the despair of Death. When something was more superior than you, you'd hardly even realize it. Until it hits you hard, or until it was allowed to be seen and understood. So Death's despair worked. Velvet lips parted, the voice was calm but seemingly the pause before looked as if he was doubting whether to give the answer straight or twist words.

- Found for guilty.. - Death switched to his 'business' like self, as if some supreme spoke in a court,

- .. of the murder in 1994..

.

.

Gin's eyes' pupils started to widen with each next word that came out Death's lips,

.

.

- ..2nd of April. The victims named..

.

.

Losing his strength in the grip, Gin let go of Death as stepped backwards. Not even able to believe his ears, faint voice spoke out the trembling beg of "stop". Death followed the pace of steps, moving forward. The truth knew no 'stop'. It knew no mercy and it had to be spoken once beckoned.

.

.

 

- Shirahane Michiko..

- Stop... - Gin hit the wall behind back and his face went pale.

- .. and Shirahane Daichi.

-..No..You..You are lying!

- .. - Death had nothing else to say, he saw the male stumble down on floor, covering his ears.

- Disappear...you..monster... I HATE YOU..!

 

-------------------------------------------

 

Truth could destroy, but never create. Truth could kill, but never revive. Truth was I.

 

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Poor Shirahane I felt bad for him when he found Ryuuji was the one that was dying and even more when he found what Ryuuji did.

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[SONGS USED FOR THE CHAPTER]

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[ HIS NAME WAS , FOR WHAT HIS GREATNESS IS ]

 

A month passed since then, it was as short as a snowflake's lifespan but yet it felt as heavy and long as Hell's chains. You, humans, do believe in God and your Devil. However, you accept Death as a component of life. And I cannot blame you, for I am such. Withal, I am a different kind of God, probably uncrowned on my own accord and wishes. Thus, I don't need simple things like 'hope' and 'faith'. But that doesn't mean I don't want to. I wanted to believe that something could be changed, that I could change it. I wanted to, selfishly without any doubt and third party's opinion, grasp onto the truth like all of you want to. However, same like you, I thought I'd be strong enough to take the burden a truth can put on shoulders. And look at me, human. Take your best shot, widen your eyes well and look at me. I am what you will be and I am what you never were before. I am your destiny, your answer, your wake up-pill. I am what you look for, but yet you pass me by. I am what you want to understand, but yet not allowed to. Tell me now, who is more lonely and alone, human? You or God? ..Humanity was abandoned by God..? No. Humanity is the one who abandoned God. You abandoned me as well, you forgot about me. The time you recall is too late for a decision make up. You think that a wound hurts a lot when bleeding? Ah, ignorant. The most painful wound is the one which cannot bleed. It corrupts you from the inside. It eats each your free corner of what you are, it crashes down your realm. It sinks you deep into the nothing. You think you know Despair, don't you? Forgive me, but I must tell you how terribly wrong you are. Pain, hatred, desperation, loneliness, anxiety, despair and nothingness, you think you have felt them? Oh, my poor soul. Do you think you had enough of life given, so you experience them long enough to feel their weight? Don't misunderstand me, human. I don't really put it on heart what you feel. I don't give a single penny how your life was lived, how it would end and how much of a sinner you are. After all, we all hated humans for a reason.. And yet, I did it. I gave a great amount of power to a human. Laugh as much as you want, however that fruit wasn't rotten. I .. I.. finally could rest. I needed to rest. I had enough. I learned all that could be learned. I saw all that could be seen. And I felt more than what one could feel. It stripped me down to the core, my spine was bare for the crash. I couldn't, nor I wanted to, move on. If I was to give in, I chose him.

----------------------------------

 

The night was really cold. It was funny how all important events up until now took place during the blackness. December was such a beautiful season, however it could freeze even the warmest heart. Somehow it was relevant to Death. Shirahane was dragged along to a certain bar hub in one of the dimensions. Of course, the club's customers were anything but human beings. And that club wasn't really anything modern or anything alien-technology-related. The lights were faint, the music was calming, although the language sung in wasn't really known to Gin. As his eyes took some look around, he figured that place was a gather spot for monsters. Or at least, after all Death did a month ago, Shirahane saw them all like monsters. Thanks to his professionalism Gin could do the reaping part without any sulking or childish acts. He did his job and that was it. Nothing he would ask, nothing he would point out. He ignored Death completely. Not like Death showed some care for how he was treated. So the human figured, Death didn't give a damn about their 'jurar' connection. A glance made to the chain, he wanted to remove it so badly.

Death didn't have to notice whatever gesture made, he could feel the cold feeling the jurar gave. But beneath his expressionless veil of powerful god, he could feel emotions too. However, the stronger he got, the harder it was to bring these emotions forth. Thus, he seemed like a beautiful doll that knew nothing else but death. The Albus god stopped before the bar desk, his elbows letting the front of torso bent forward smoothly with the lean made with arms. Shirahane noticed that no one dared to look their way. Was it because Death wasn't in mood and the other creatures could feel the vibes? No one would dare to oppose that god, for sure.

- And if that's not the old geezer. - a female's voice spoke in a teasing manner.

As uninterested Shirahane tried to be, he wanted to glace over and take a look at that tempting voice. Not to mention the way she talked to Death.

- Aditi.

- What brings you here, Death? Last time I saw you was during the First Apocalypse of Just*. - the woman rose a brow as she leaned forth, closer to Death, - ..Could it be that you missed me?

Expressionlessly Death stared at her, his perfect lips slightly parted as she stared at them.

- I did miss..

.

.

She widened her eyes, as if getting a bit ahead of herself with joy, to hear the rest,

- ..your marvelous Irish whiskey. - he grinned wickedly, obviously playing with her or rather flirting in his own way? Shirahane though felt like an outsider, so he tried to hide his curiosity.

- Geez..., nothing good comes when you mess with me, you know? - she frowned as reached for a certain bottle with black pattern of glass. But somehow her reach paused for a second and her eyes averted to side, eying Death.

- Why did you do it, Death? - her slit pupils moved to Gin's figure and then back to Death. Was the damned god's answer the price for the glass of whiskey...or something more was behind the question? It was hard to mess with Death's head and of all people he knew the best how twisted Aditi could be.

- Give me a reason why should I reply?

- Because that's your job. - her tone switched to firmness, - To answer questions of generations.

- Even I have days off, Aditi. - he averted eyes, somehow wiry of something hidden from the senses.

- You don't, Death. That's why this is wrong. And the Supreme Curia will find you. - she frowned as she mentioned the great court, somehow fearing them to the very bone of hers.

- Ah, the idiots. - he rolled eyes as returned his gaze on her. Did he lack the sense of fear, she wondered. But his eyes showed nothing, but black lagoon of secrets.

- Death... please, reconsider. - her delicate fingers wrapped around the bottle of whiskey as her expression changed to being very bothered. Which actually spoke that Death was right. There was something off here and although none of the customers sensed it, Aditi and he could. Especially how bothered Aditi was. Could it be that she gave him the alert? However,

- Please, do pour me some whiskey. I like watching the liquid spilling from the tip, and your fingers fast enough to cut the line before it escalate to fullness. - his teasing made her redden as she sulked.

- Pervert... - and there, her brows locked the worrisome sign in between, she whispered

- ...Don't die... - so it was true. She set him a trap or was forced to.

The Albus god grinned calmly as palm got hold of the glass and his velvet lips took a juicy sip from the whiskey. The long eyelids of his matched his beautiful face with closed eyes. He looked like an angel, a beautiful angel. The Adam's apple of his moved upside down along the drink, a drip escaped his lips corner. Whatever they spoke about, it troubled Shirahane. He stared at Death's board back clothed by the blackness of the long coat. He felt that Death had sides he has never ever seen before..and might not to. The human looked down at the currently static jurar, his heartbeat irregular. Why he felt so angry? But it wasn't about Ryuji's death. Something else annoyed him; probably it was how close they seemed and how distanced he was from Death although he was the chained one. Damn that chain, he wanted to break it. And so his greatest desire broke through his ears. The male reached up for his head, covering the ears. The high pitched noise was smashing his brain. And no matter how loud he screamed, he couldn't even hear his own voice. Overwhelmed by the noise, he seemed. A leg trembled, he knelt on floor. It hurt so much that his ears felt like bleeding.

"On baishiraman taya sowaka,

On isha naya in tara ya sowaka,

On nomaku sanmanda basaradan kan,

On aga naya in maya sowaka,

On hirota ki shanoga jiba tai sowaka,

On chirichi iba rotaya sowaka.."

A sudden voice of a male echoed around the club. With each next chant line, the floor and ceiling became timeless. They knew no space and no time, freezing into nothingness. Shirahane's pain stopped but the voice drummed onto him. He rose his eyes off the floor, following the steps taken towards him. Elegant shoes, firm calves. He rose his head, to see a stunning beautiful man before him as his lips finished the chant in the unknown language he spoke,

"..On a ra ba sha n sowaka."

Gin's first reaction was to glance over Death but seemly even the Albus god was 'frozen' in time. All seemed like...a paused movie scene. He felt the danger near. What on earth was happening? Suddenly the newcomer made a turn, to walk his way to Death. He placed his elbow onto the bar, as head titled to side. A wicked grin widened as he stared at the 'paused' doll face of Death.

- Pity I froze him when he is with closed eyes. - the male stretched hand for the glass and slid his fingertip smoothly against the brim. He paused right near the drop escaping Death's lips corner. Red eyes that seemed demonic glittered with lust.

- As beautiful as merciless he is, isn't he? - the male turned his eyes to Shirahane with a cracked by paradox' grin.

- W-who are you..? - Gin was still kneeling down, one hand against ear. He was too stunned to fix his posture.

- I am what you call...fallen. -he removed his hand from Death's lips as rocked back against the bar, each elbow guiding the body for a cocky chest-pop.

- Fallen? You are ...were an angel? - Gin widened eyes.

- Hmmm.... - the male rolled eyes, as if not agreeing but still returned the gaze with widened by insanity pupils, - ...What a shitty guess.

- Uh...!?

- Listen, human. My name. You will hear it once. - as the statement was made, he disappeared as smoke blown by wind, to reappear near Shirahane's shoulder, by whisper delivered his name. Gin's eyes couldn't take more wider form as his pupils trembled in shock. His lips repeating slowly,

- ..L...Lu...ci...fer..?

- Uh-huuuuuh~

- Will...will you kill me or something..? - Shirahane was too scared to even move.

- Oh,geez. Yer so borin'. - he switched to some slang there, hand came up to brush off the question,

- After all, you are chained to Death himself. What shall I gain if I kill ye'!? Seriously. - Lucifer rolled eyes as his brows took irregular frown level.

- More importantly, - he continued as his red eyes returned to Shirahane's kneeling posture,

-.. do you want to remove that chain?

A startled expression, it was a bull's eye.

- I..I.. don't know.. I..

- Oh, please. You do know. You just don't want to die, ain't I right here, boy?

- I.. - Gin lowered his chin

- Uh-huuuuh~

- I..

- .. Uh-huh?

- I..

- GEEZ! Will ye' say it or what!? - Lucifer crossed his arms, losing patience.

- Can I remove it? - he shot his question right away.

- Uh-huuuuh~ You surely can.

- But I tried to.. I couldn't take it off..

- Amateur. - Lucifer rolled eyes as walked to the bar, snatching the whiskey's bottle off Aditi's hand.

- Do ye' know how long it took me to find that fucken chant!? - annoyed at the time he spent in a search how to tackle down Death, he indeed had it hard.

- That fucken geezer is daaaaamn old, ye' know!? - he shifted around, to lean on the bar, continuing

- Nothing works on him. Balls.

- Uh...what do you mean?

- I mean that magic, spells and chants don't work on Death. - he rocked his chin in rhythm with his speech as if trying to give some more emotional thread to them.

- You...want to do something to Death?

- Oh, not really to 'Death'. Death can't disappear, sadly. - his lips sulked with discontent.

- Then...?

- And then I spent a decade to look for a fucken script. And guess what? It only explains how to 'freeze' him and 'remove his jurar'. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Curses. And I thought I can make him disappear.

- You ... are afraid of him? - Gin blinked at Lucifer.

- BOY! I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYONE! - he swished the bottle from side to side, but looked away.

- Just... I want him.

- What..?

- Do you know how fucken powerful I can get, if I have Death in my hands? Not to mention he will be a perfect chewing toy. - Lucifer licked his lips sadistically.

Shirahane let his hand slip off ear, his senses telling him to stop listening to the devil.

- So... do ye' want to remove that chain?

- Yeah..but-

- NO 'BUTS'. It's a 'yes' or a 'no'.

- Yeah..

- GOOD. - Lucifer took a mouthful of sip from the bottle as loosened his necktie. The messy hair of his was so perfectly ordered that it looked as if he looked the best with messy hair. Probably a reason for he was the master of chaos.

- PWUAH! - he tore his lips off the bottle, to look down at Shirahane,

- Ask him.

- Ask him..?

- Uh-huuuuuh~

- Ask him what?

- Ask him for his name. - his chin stuck forth, letting his neck exposed as his wicked grin widened.

- What?

- His name, idiot.

- But... he has no name. And as far as I know from Jaropht... Death never lies..

- PFU! - he shrank up as shoulders rose, for he laughed.

- ... He... he lied to me?

- Correction, idiot. This is the only lie our big boy can tell. - a finger come up to shake as if telling a new rule in the whole game.

- ... The only lie? - Gin widened eyes as turned head to Death's back.

- YUP. And now, when you learn his name-...

-Wait. How I learn his name, if he can lie on this one!?

- Tsk. Amateur. What did you ask him the first time?

- Uh..I think it was if he had a name...or something?

- Idiot. The right question is 'By the power of God and as child of his, I ask you, what is your name?'

- But... this is like an order?

- Well. - Lucifer titled head to side, - If you see it this way.

- And... that's all?

- Of course not! - he left the bottle to side as walked to Gin,

- You have to stab his ..heart.

- ... !!? - Gin moved backwards and fell on his derriere. What was Lucifer saying?

- PFUHAHAHAHAHA! - he laughed at the human's reaction.

- ... I... have to stab him..?

- Uh-huuuuh~

- Will...will he die?

- Boy, you are amazingly stupid. He won't die. He can't die. - his lips cracked in a satisfied smirk,

- He is cursed.

- What..?

- Enough of questions, I am not so patient to answer questions like him.

- I can't catch him off guard to do that! - Shirahane protested.

- Uh-huuuuh~ I knooooow~~ Thus I will grant you some of my powers.

- Eh?

- Lust. He lusts you.

- What? - Gin's eyes didn't know whether to be timid and avert from what he heard, or to deny all as he met the biggest sinner ever.

- ..D-Death...lusts me?

- Yup.

- You mean.. lust.. like.. lust?

- Geez. He gets hard and --..

- I GOT IT. ... --Death can get hard? - Shirahane blinked.

- PFUHAHAHAHAHAHA. What? He is a man after all. - Lucifer glanced over the Albus god, his hand reached to touch smoothly his own firm shoulder.

- I would sell Hell for one night with this untamed beast. I bet he'll be delicious.

Shirahane couldn't even get where this conversation went to.

- You... you lust Death!? Are you...insane?

- Oh. I am. - bluntly said, Lucifer stared at Gin, - Anyway, we don't have much time. The spell will fade in a few. When you seduce him and ask for his name, strike.

The devil's hand came down, pressing against Gin's forehead. The sensation was hot. He felt his body under fire, trembling by the hypnotizing powers Lucifer grant him. After a bit, he stepped back.

- My job is done here, the rest is up to you, boy. However, there is no turning back. My seal is on you and whether you use that power or not will decide your fate. If Death finds out before you strike, it'd be your end. Shirahane felt a faint note of regret engraved on his soul. He wondered,

- ... One...one last thing.. - Shirahane spoke right after Lucifer took his pace to disappear in the shadows.

- Yeh? - Lucifer paused his steps.

- Will... it hurt him..?

- Ah. Believe me, boy. He knows real pain and this is not even close to his kind of pain. Rest assured, you will free yourself and him. It's for the best, right? Heh.

So said, Lucifer disappeared and the noise of the busy club returned. All the colors were back, Death opened eyes as the drop from his lips slipped off his chin. His gaze thoughtful and lost in depths.

- Death? - Aditi saw his distanced eyes.

The Albus god placed his glass down as calmly rocked body off the bar.

- Delicious as always, huh. - he grinned and averted body from the woman. She knew. Death was ready for a real war. His back looked so powerful, his shoulders knew no tremble of fear. But what was beneath? What he hid? What was he? She let her eyes slide half as looked down,

- See you again, Death.

-..Yeah. - he passed by Shirahane, not even glancing over him. Gin wondered if Death knew about the seal or it was his own guilt? Either way, Death didn't act oddly, so it was good so far.

 

----------------------------

 

 

 

 

Legend:

*First Apocalypse of Just

[font=Garamond][color=#ffcc66]{The form of the text is primarily
that of a Revelation Dialogue/Discourse between James the Just
(the brother of Jesus – according to the text, 
James is not physically Jesus' brother) and Jesus, 
with a rather fragmentary account of the martyrdom 
of Saint James appended to the bottom of the manuscript, 
connected to the remainder by an oblique reference
to crucifixion. The first portion of the text describes 
James' understandable concern about being crucified,
whereas the latter portion describes secret passwords 
given to James so that he can ascend to the highest heaven 
(out of seventy-two) after dying, without being blocked by 
evil powers of the demiurge.}[/color][/font]

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Wonderful chapter *__* I laughed so much at Shirahane's reaction when he found Death lusts him yoyo5 Can't wait to see the continuation *__*

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[SONGS USED FOR THE CHAPTER]

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[ MESSOREM KOU - REOSS PART II ]

 

- I have nothing else to offer you, human. You heard the story as it is. All left now is to watch as I shall do so, too. Whatever happens, remember one thing; worst happens for the best, best happens for the worst.

A hand flicked the finished tip of cigarette as Death's firm and slender body rocked off the edge of a balcony. Currently staying at a hotel in one of the dimensions. His eyes were dark and deep. The light color of blackcurrant was no where to be found. His long coat ruffled to sides from the night breeze, embracing the lonely soul of the god. The pain of knowing was more than a being could take, so why he had to be an exception? A faint smile ran across lips as the wind spiraled around his neck, crawling up to the edges of his hair. It tickled him.

- Sir. - Jaropht appeared to disturb the Albus god's few minutes of goodbye.

- Yes, Jaropht.

- ...? What? - Jaropht blinked because the line seemed like an answer to a question, rather than a simple 'yes'.

- The answer is 'yes'. - Death glanced over and what to believe not, Jaropht widened his eyes. His Master was taking a goodbye for some reason.

- What answer, Sir? I haven't asked anything.

- Oh, you did ask, Jaropht. When we first met you asked me a question, remember?

A short flash of memory crossed before Jaropht's eyes.

.

.

- WAIT! WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME, DEATH!? - Jaropht was kneeling down, held and restrained by chains.

- Did I? - Death grinned, hands in his coat pockets.

- I am ... I am not enough to be your secretary..

- And am I enough to be Death, then?

- What do you mean? You are Death, just...just that...?

- Just that. I like it. ''Just that''. So, Jaropht...same back at you. - he laughed as moved hand out pocket to reach for the sinner and pulled him out of Hell. The chains around the soul bent before Death's power.

- I.. Sir! - Jaropht stood nude before the Albus god embarrassed by his past life' doings. He grabbed onto his own forearm and looked away.

- Ask. - Death stared straight at him.

- ..!! I..I have so many questions... - Death took his word to reason himself.

- My apologies, Jaropht. You are a soul I couldn't reap due to Heaven's War. The only soul that couldn't ask its question. I am sorry.

- ... I.. I just want to confess...

Death widened his eyes for a surprise. His pupils witnessing the strength of soul chained to Hell for so long, yet not broken.

- Do so. - his eyes calmed down its pupils, his composure returned.

- I didn't want to betray my Lord...I loved my Lord. Is 'love' a sin, Death!? If..if it is a sin, then I better stay here, right? ..I just wanted to protect my Lord, but yet..my betrayal was the reason why he died.. Say,Death.... will God forgive me one day?

Death didn't reply. He just smiled. Then turned around to lead the way out of Hell,

- We shall see, Jaropht. Serve me well and don't betray me.

.

.

-...................... - Jaropht's tears ran naturally, his shoulders relaxed, - ..Thanks God... - he sighed in relief.

Death smiled softly, tilting head to side.

- I have a favor to ask you, Jaropht.

- Yes..yes, Sir! - he stood tall and fixed his posture.

Death walked up to Jaropht and put his chained by the jurar hand onto the secretary's forehead. Jaropht's eyes widened.

- NO! - he raised voice, but his body couldn't move, - DEATH! DON'T FORCE ME OUT!

- You served well. Now, return to the Curia and tell them - ... their time is coming and I will reap these motherfuckers' asses, for what they did. - Death glared for first time, forcing all his powers to use his chained hand.

The secretary dissolved into the wind in small glowing particles. His eyes the last sight of sadness.

- S..ir.......

Death stood there, his jawline firm and moving not. It showed no sight of pain, but as soon as Jaropht was freed, Death's knee bent for his mouth to spit a handful of blood. His eyebrows frowning deeply, he heard Shirahane's steps closing by.

- Damn. - Death chuckled lightly, fingers flicked before the door for the balcony opened.

- Death? - Shirahane's voice called for the Albus god for first time since that certain reaping of Ryuji.

The balcony was empty, however Gin jumped as soon as he heard Death's voice from behind him.

- Did I mishear or you called for me, Shirahane?

- Eh... no..I mean... I thought I heard something on the balcony.

Death's eyes shifted lightly, but yet relaxed. He turned around to walk over the hotel room's bar table. He picked a bottle of wine, but then suddenly Shirahane's hand covered the fabric of Death's gloved hand.

- Let me do it? - Gin tilted head to side, humbly smiling. There was a short moment of silence, but the damned god let him do as he wished.

He seems so confident on the facade, but I can see his trembles. His soul is connected to me, I can feel its trembles, fears, sadness, despair and ecstasy. I feel...how scared he is now. I can't help but smile. Is he scared of me? Or because he knows something he shouldn't know? I wonder.

Death found a seat on the sofa as stretched his legs onto the table. One of his arms came up to guide the back of his head, the chain could be seen coming across the god's firm chest. Shirahane turned around, knowing well that he had powers right now. But somehow he felt scared and undecided. Did he want to break the jurar for real? Whatever the case, Shirahane walked to Death and sat on the edge of the short table, near the god's legs. He pushed hand forth, to handle the wine glass to Death.

- Thank you. - the Albus god moved chained hand from behind head to reach for the beverage, however he saw Shirahane's hand retreating. So he lifted gaze to meet the human's eyes. An odd sparkle glittered within them.

- I have a better idea. - using Lucifer's powers, the human cast all questions and doubts within Death aside. If the Albus god was to suspect something, he wouldn't. If he was to retreat, he wouldn't. These were Lucifer's hypnotizing powers. One to wonder, who was the prey and who the predator now. Shirahane drove the glass close to lips as took a mouthful of sip. The damned god followed the liquid disappear in between these soft lips as suddenly Gin moved right before his face.

- ... - Death couldn't even react in any way, his pupils drew the surprise on his face when their lips came in contact. From his lips corner a thin line of wine escaped.

I see. So this is it, huh.

Death's eyes shifted to sharpness, his chained hand moved forth, to capture soft strands of hair and pull Shirahane's head a bit to side. The human had his eyes closed but not for long. As soon as he felt the tug, he shot them open to find Death's serious and cold expression. These blackcurrant eyes were piercing him to the very deepest and dirtiest secret of his. The light brown haired male felt his heart jump out of its place, it was forced to break the regular rhythm. He was meant to lead the Albus god into a trap, but yet the sweetness of Death's lips got him into the trap alone. Was he doing the right thing? He frowned; a doubt took place in his head. But it was too late to retreat. Even if he wanted to stop, he was already marked with Lucifer's seal. It was a question of either his life or his freedom. Freedom, huh. Shirahane dropped the glass of wine, not caring for its ending destination. He placed his slightly trembling palm against Death's shoulder, to push the damned god backwards against the sofa. Without any further hesitation, his lips pressed harder into the kiss as his body moved forward to find place onto Death's lap. Was he digging his own grave? Gin surely was afraid, but he couldn't understand one single thing.., was it Death's eyes that pulled his strings or his will for own freedom? The human felt his breath wasn't enough to full his lungs, he had to depart from the velvet sensation of Death's cold lips. It was so odd. He kissed before too and he wasn't any saint. He had partners in the past. However, that kiss was a first. Its sweetness and coldness. How big the paradox could get? The cold saliva of the god set him in flames of desire. Not for a single second he could avert eyes of that gaze, natural squeeze came. He grabbed onto Death's shoulder harder as settled more comfortable on his legs. For a brief moment Shirahane felt like an idiot, staring at a beautiful man. He knew what he had to do, not to mention he had the powers now. Not a single soul could deny Lucifer's hypnosis. And on top of it, Death gathered only the sinners for the past few months, so it was meant to be easier...right? Suddenly the damned god's hand left Gin's silky hair, to travel down the nape and find its path to the spine.

He is beautiful. And they ask me, why did I do it? Ahahaha.

- Heh... - Death suddenly cracked a grin as lowered a bit his chin. Shirahane had to notice the shift of mood. What was going on in Death's head?

Isn't it obvious... Not only the Hell...I will destroy and crush the universe, if could I only have his heart. How foolish I can get, I wonder.

- Death? - Gin leaned forth, his lips close to the Albus god's hair strands. Taken by surprise from the palm sneaking under his shirt, Shirahane gasped. His eyes shifted to side, as if alert from what was coming. So the spell was working? After all...it wasn't really Death desiring him, but Lucifer's powers, right? The human felt his heart throb. Swallowed by his dark thoughts his attention was forced back into the current situation when Death shifted around and tackled him down onto the sofa's surface. His gloved hand still under the shirt, guiding Gin's back with caresses although slower than before. The human arched his back, puffing chest forth. When he was supposed to strike? He couldn't bring himself to ask for the name. He didn't want it to end, this night. Even if it was because of these stupid powers, at least he could see a new side of Death. How gently he caressed him; however why his gaze was so cold and merciless? Was he really a doll like Lucifer said? Nothing was behind that beautiful face? Nothing at all? Shirahane closed his eyes, not wanting to see the truth. Without even realizing it, Death was bent down with reach for an ear.

- .. Open your eyes, ...Gin. - when he used his first name, Shirahane couldn't stay idle. His eyelids were forced to move and avert pupils to side. He saw Death's beautiful profile, the lines perfectly drawing the jaw, the lips, the nose and finally...his eyes distanced while talking,

- .. Look carefully at me... - Death averted eyes to lock eye contact with Shirahane.

The human could swear that his heart was hammering his chest right now. He had to pull himself together. He,of course, he was the one with powers right now. Why he felt like the one being seduced!? Shirahane wrapped his legs around Death's slender waist and turned the tables. He tackled Death right back, making them flop onto the sofa, but with reversed positions. After all, he had his blade prepared in advance and he was closer to it this way. The human was decided. He didn't want to be some toy in that man's hands. If God rejected him and the Devil used him.. all he had left was Death. However, he knew it. It was too wrong to love a man, but more than that..it was wrong to love and claim Death only for himself. Shirahane ran his hot hands against Death's clothed chest. It felt so firm, but more than its hardness he could feel better the hardness pressing against his derriere. Gin felt the shame crawl up his cheeks, drawning the blood rush to there. He slipped hands upwards, to sneak them beneath the blackness of the long coat. The cold chain dangling from side to side with each of his movement. He felt the strong shoulders of Death. It was so nice, how he could feel each curve of that man. His delicate hands of a doctor never knew the perfection of such a body. Suddenly Death's husky voice spoke with gentleness, yet teasingly.

- Aren't you enjoying yourself a bit too much, hm?

Gin met Death's eyes and the redness on cheeks deepened. But for his heart to be reasoned with its fast beating Death rubbed himself against Gin's strandled thighs. He felt his although clothed crotch being worried by the hardness underneath him. A shaky breath of excitement escaped him.The human contracted his fingers lightly, as if about to clench fists as grapped onto Death's shirt. The chain dangled again, the Albus god reached his gloved hands up to capture the edges of Shirahane's shirt between index and middle fingers as used the getsure to expose the male's chest. His chained hand left the shirt's right side drop due to his exploring movements beneath. He caressed the hardering nipples of Gin. Took him not any effort to know that Shirahane was feeling it. The Albus god's thumb pressed harder against the nipple as a result he heard the sweetest moan he could hear. The cold leather of gloves brought an extra sensation to the touches. Gin closed eyes slowly, sinking into the illusion. The illusion that Death had feelings, that he could be so gentle and that he really wanted to be with Shirahane. A small frown appeared to be brushed off by the smooth touch against his lips, the coldness of a glove rubbed his buttom lip.

- Didn't I tell you to look at me, Gin? - Death smiled, his hair beautifully spread on sides, exposing his neck and his whole face.

The human tilted head, his eyes softly gazing down at the other. Tongue ran against the thumb that brushed his lip, before front teeth captured the edge of the glove and tried to pull at it. Both of Gin's hands came up, to guide the glove off Death's hand. The damned god stared calmly.

I am not calm at all, human. Don't challenge me.

A sudden squeeze of jawline appeared, Death flinched when Gin bit lightly at his index finger. The human tried to search for some sign that Death was enjoing it, or anything. But when he thought it was no use, suddenly a quick shift was made and he got pulled down for a roll. And then again, they were in the basic position; Gin was pinned down firmly, he felt the strong and big palm of Death pressing his shoulder against the sofa as his neck felt the sharpness of teeth dig into flesh.

-..Gah! - a loud noise romaed out Shirahane's mouth. He almost choked onto his own saliva because of the sudden forceful change. He always wondered if Death had heart and if he breathed...,but right now he could clearly hear the heavy breaths out of Death. He was just like an impatient beast, trying to devour him. A sudden chill ran his spine when he felt Death's bare and awfully cold hand touch his side, making even his ribs ache. But that ache was so pleasurable. As if his soul was tickled. He started to wonder if he would last until an end. If a single touch made him tremble and ache so much, he couldn't imagine what it be when... - a blush ran his face.

Just when he tried to recover from the shameful thought of his, Death's tongue traveled against the bitten patch of skin, to send another wave of chills. Shirahane embraced Death, pushing himself firmly against that tall and firm body. His own hardness teasingly coming into butterfly touch with Death's one. The Albus god rocked his body to make the touch complete, grinding himself in between the spread legs - he fit so well there. Shirahane's legs trembled and lost strength, thus the one from the outter side of the sofa was about to fall, but Death captured it by thigh. He held it with his chained hand. Shirahane regained enough of his strength, at least to keep up with all of the teasings coming his way. His mind wasn't allowed to wander around, it wasn't even allowed to enjoy it too much. He had to keep focus on his goal. The male had to keep reminding this to himself.

I love his fragrance. I love the trembles and his tries to muffle his moans. Most of all though I love how he covers the moan with a click of tongue or a harsh gasp. But I can see through him. I can see, all he wanted from life was love. And it was a thing he never received. Just liked a stray cat.

Death's blackcurrant gaze ran intensely over Gin's body when he moved back, letting himself into a position where he had control over his body weight and better sight of the human. The Albus god let his leg from the outter side of the sofa touch floor with foot - for weight balance, the other he bent and leaned his body balance on knee. A slight movement, so smooth it was; Death leaned backwards as if about to go and sit on his derriere, but no. Not the case. He made some space and hands went after Gin's pants. Before the human could follow, he had his pants tugged off him and thrown on floor.

- .. D-death...!! - his pupils went wide from embarrassment, hands trying to cover his privates. And he was so brave about seducing the beast, what a joke. The human was no match to him, after all.

And I knew it. I knew it very well. My life, my purpose, my whole existence was about 'knowing'. Of course I knew.

The Albus god smiled faintly, the sight was beautiful. He lowered down onto Shirahane, making sure he will have grip of control over the male's legs, not allowing him to close them. His tongue made a brief lick against the smoothness of thigh's skin. Gin flinched and his shoulders shrugged as trying to hold back his moan. Again, he bit him. As if Death knew and forced the moan out of him.

- .. Ah-ngh! - the human dug the back of head into the sofa, trying to find 'ground' for his senses. He was in a serious trouble and all his being screamed so. His hands were covering the raging hardness of his, but Death seemed not bothered by them. His cold tongue gathered some of the body heat off the hands, he kept tracing his tongue around the fingers, in between their space, against the knuckles - it made Shirahane's hands go numb and cold. He trembled. Soon he realized how hot Death's tongue has gotten due to the heat running wild all over the body, not to mention his boiling blood which was a neveredning source of heat. How unfair it was, Shirahane bit lips. Another bite made on index finger got his hand flinch to side, uncovering a bit from his "angered" cock. Like beckoned, Death sneaked a lick against the visible part of the length. Which made Gin's voice tremble in an odd way,

- .. Kaah!

A faint grin, Death smikred under nose, licking the corner of his lips. The Albus god was surely enjoying himself. Gin saw that smirked and his embarrassment got a hold of him, he pushed one hand against Death's cheek,

- Don-t...smirk, you.. - he frowned, feeling so umcomfortable. Wasn't he supposed to be the sex god with Lucifer's powers? What was that now, being pushed down by Death? He really sulked, but not for long. Death avoided the hand with a tilt of head, his lips visibly kissing the tip of Shirahane's hardness. The human arched his back, asking for more of that attention. He really licked the soft sensation of Death's lips rubbing against his glans. The light brown haired male fully uncovered his privates, trying to reach for Death's shoulders and grasp onto them. He needed to hold onto something. Especially when he felt the wetness within Death's mouth. He really was being sucked on by not anyone, but Albus god. Shirahane didn't even know how to react, all left was to lean on his senses which naturally made him moan.

The saliva was enough to slide off the length and run down to his entrance, so Death could tease there as well. A sharp and abrupt gasp, Gin knew it would come to it, but didn't seem to be prepared fully for it. He tried to push himself back, but Death had hold of his leg, so no escape was left in the store for him. If so, he tried to shake his hips to side, still desperate to avoid the finger that threatened to be inserted. However, it was too late for any backing off.

- Ah-.... - a short and loud, still clear for ear moan escaped Gin. The human trembled when the finger broke in, although painful it was mixed with pleasure. The tongue in Death's mouth felt enough of good to make him ignore that pain. Besides the wet sounds and moans, the chain dangles could be heard as well. The human tilted head to side, not caring how messy his hair would get, how his legs were positioned and how heavy his body would feel if he let Death hold onto the lower part of it. He had no strength to move, rather he felt like melted chocolate, running down on the best parts of a cake. His eyes glittered from the heat, his mouth dry from the neverending tries to grasp for air. He stopped counting how many fingers he got inside him or how much it hurt. The brushes against his glans and the light bites against his hips, thighs and abs could make up for it. When the touches stopped and the fingers were pulled out, he got the call from 'earth'. He finally started to come back to it, his throat to dry to call for Death. He just shifted head to side, glancing over the other. How beautiful the Albus god was. His hair messy, lips red and coat slipped off shoulders. Even in his messy look he was perfectly beautiful. He recalled Lucifer's words, "As beautiful as merciful, huh". A sudden throb hammered his heart. He wasn't doing this for the fun, he had a purpose. His eyes moved to side, eying the chain. Taking his time to wetten lips and come to his basic goal, he almost missed the chance to look what was about to be revelead before his eyes. The Albus god let his coat slip completely off body, the shirt he took off was allowed by the jurar to drop down on floor, for he stood shirtless in front of Shirahane. Gin couldn't tear eyes off him. Who would imagine the damned god had such a firm and trained body. His abs visible to each contraction he did when moved. Shirahane's lips parted at the sight, he followed the line down to Death's pants. He saw the still gloved hand unzipping them. Each next movement exciting him way too much before the act was about to be done. He tried to guide himself on elbows, backing a bit but it was no use. Death's expression spoke how damn serious he was and how damn horny he was. Gin's eyes couldn't even move away from the Albus god's ones. Slow but yet smooth shifts, the beast finally was decided. Shirahane really felt like the one who got in a trap. His back finally hit the sofa's arm-rester and a natural swallow came. His legs were spread, so he thought it was time to close them. However, Death's palm quickly enough settled onto a knee, harshly grasping onto it.

- Ah-d-damn it.. - Gin cursed at the pain, was there some spot or something? His leg felt so numb by the pressure onto it. He couldn't even force to gather legs. Enough of time for the damned god to line himself and alarm Gin for what was next. The human lifted his chin up, his elbows losing strength as his shoulder-blades rubbed harshly against the sofa - the thrust was abrupt.

Ah. I feel like melting inside of him. His inner walls' softness biting at me in an inviting way.

Death pushed deeper until he had Shirahane full. His gloved hand pressed against the human's abdomen, doubling the sensation of being inside him. Then he lightly lifted palm to lighten the sensation as pulled almost all the way out, to thrust it along with a second press of palm against the abs. It made Gin completely submit to him, his elbows too weak to hold him up. The human's body trembled all over, his spin felt like broken by pleasure. The jurar abused with hardness the firm floor in same way Death gently feasted onto Shiraahane's body. His deep and slow thrusts got the best moans he could hear, most frustrated ones rather. Gin tried to move his hips in rhythm, too embarrassed to ask for more, however the Albus god shifted hands onto Gin's hips and restrained him.

- Ngh...ah...Death...

- Heh.. - Death chuckled through heavy breathing. Shirahane wondered what was so funny.

- Why...l-laughing? - he gasped out another moan.

- Nothing much, just probably the only human who moans my name. - Death grinned with satisfaction, his hips burying the hardness of his length into Shirahane's sweet spot. A second there to grasp onto reality... "his name". That was right. Along the frustrating thrusts, Shirahane had to gather all his will...and ask him, now.

- Death... - his dry and weak voice moaned as eyes lifted green gaze up - ... by...the power of G-god...

Death's eyes fell into a deep and dark lagoon, he seemed like being put into hypnosis for real. His thrusts paused. His grasp onto hips weakened.

-...and as..and as a child of his, I ask you... - Gin picked the small amount of will he had left to guide himself up on elbows,

-... what..is your name?

- ..Name...is.. - he spoke by a different note in voice. His voice seemed so calm and the heat was gone within it,

- Messorem...Kou... , known by the code name of ... Reoss. - Death's eyes shifted to sadness. Was it so hard for him to speak out his name? Shirahane frown and as taught by Lucifer, his hands skilled enough and quick to reach for the knife he placed near the sofa; right on the side table. He pointed its tip against Death, seeing no reaction of the god. He backed a bit off, shifted leg to push the god backwards and climb onto him. The heat was gone, both overtaken by despair. The small amount of clothes on them hid away how their excitement was dying.

- Messorem Kou. I, Shirahane Gin, shall break the oath between two souls. I reject the power of Jurar! - lifting his arms up, with knife in hands he thrusted the blade downwards to widen eyes. Death captured the blade with his bare hand, drips of blood drummed against the god's chest. His eyes calm and yet...despair-ish.

- Fool.

- ... - Gin tried to force the knife down out of fear, but no use. He only dug it deeper into Death's palm.

If you wanted to kill me...

- ...there was an easier way, Shirahane. - Death smiled with such a bitterness on lips.

- ... What?

- You didn't have to accept that seal. There is another way...- Death pushed himself up, forcing Gin to lean backwards a bit,

- Make me lie.

Shirahane frowned. He felt so angry. Did Death know about all from the beginning? So he was simply playing around!?

- Is that so...!? - Gin chuckled out a short and ironic question. So all he had to do was to make that damned frigging god lie?

- FINE THEN! TELL ME, MESSOREM.... TELL ME STRAIGHT TO FACE, THAT YOU USE ME AND ALL YOU WANT OUT OF ME IS JUST TO MAKE YOUR DAMN BORING LIFE A BIT MERRIER!

Breathing heavily, Gin lost control over emotions. He glared down at Death. He wanted a truth, not a lie. And now was the best time to see ... what was truth and what was lie. Why not give it a shot? The male trembled as made to wait in silence. Blackcurrant eyes closed as a faint smile spread on lips. Death gripped tighter onto the blade and abruptly forced it down for its edge to be released; straight through his heart.

- ................!! - Shirahane's eyes shook in a try to grasp. What...that meant? The chain disappears as if blown by the wind sand. He averted eyes from the kissing goobye-chain back to Death. No way to let him sneak away.

- OI! ANSWER ME! - Gin smacked the cold hand off his own, forcing the knife out for a throw. He reached hands to grab onto Death's shoulders. But no answer came.

- De..Death...? - he tired to shake him a bit and change the name,

- ... MESSOREM! - he yelled as frowned, but the doll in his hands looked more than lifeless... it looked soulless.

- K..Kou? - a questionable and scared tune came out his mouth. Shirahane lowered down, eying the wound that seemed to bleed a lot. The blood was such a dark red color, almost confusing it for black ink. And then when he was about to call one more time a sudden pain in chest burnt him.

- GAH! - he coughed out a painful scream. It was his heart bursting. His brain squeezed to its maximum. Dozen of memories rushed in his head. Not only one's memories.... the whole universe's scars. Known, unknown and dead languages sealed into him. His skin got goosebumps along with the transfer of information. His eyes watering from the despair received. It was not only one, but different shades of it. He felt torn and repaired. He felt dead and reborn. He felt crashed and fixed. Names he didn't know, dates he didn't know and many other things forced their way into him. He dropped down, forehead leaning against the dead body of Kou. Then he realized... Kou... was Kou. Not Death. And now, Gin was not Gin. His lips parted, exhausted from the pain he whispered his name..

- Kou...

His tears slid down, the body beneath him dissolving into small and glowing particles. Gin lifted his chin abruptly, he sensed a sweet and sad fragrance. The fragrance only Death could sense. He saw it... the Alubs of Kou..

- NO! - he reached hand to grasp for it, but it was too late. Once he lost the connect between a single Albus...the Albus has an unknown destination. He froze in the empty room, which seemed filled with different small creatures floating around. He looked around. Whatever he was seeing, he never knew they were there. Shirahane reached for his chest, palm trying to catch onto heart rhythm that was no longder there.

- Answer me...dammit.... - he let his tears freely out.

- ... Stupid ...dwarf...

 

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In the middle of the chapter I was waaaaa :7yoyo10: and at the end of the chapter with teary eyes :cuteonion8:

 

Thanks for the fantastic chapter :D

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Wonderful chapter *__* I've waited so long for the h scene and now I'm going berserk of too much hotness :leaf10:

 

I wonder what will happen when Kou will appear again :leaf13:

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[ Hymn For The Missing ]

 

Short muffled sobs wandered around the room. Shirahane was on floor, leaning with back against the sofa. How many hours passed? Or days? He couldn't care. His body was heavy, but restless. Shoulders relaxed in a lifeless manner, his eyes gazing into the distance. The dimension had its usual foggy morning, and no ray of light cold make its way to caress his wounded soul. The human was no longer human, and he knew it. A faint motion to take a shaky breath, he parted lips. How heavy that burden was, how heavy. His green eyes tiredly averted glance to side, nothing felt real. In fact, it was so real that he wanted to deny it. He denied all his life, why not now? Shirahane's slender fingers flinched a bit, another memory ran across his exhausted mind. How many souls he missed to reap? Not like he cared. In fact, he preferred them to struggle in pain. Might the world know a bit of the despair he drowned in. Might them all die in despair, damn he gave.

[ One unreaped soul equals hundred not yet for reaping souls. ]

Kou's voice sneaked within his memories, pulling harshly the despair-ish string within Gin's chest. Just when the new god thought he had no tears left, a tiny line of saltiness ran down his abused by tears cheek. So he felt like a murderer. Not only killed he a marvelous god who appeared to be the salvation of humanity in a way, but he was letting innocent souls die. His will was hammered deeper than just ten feet under the ground.

 

[ Why...why are you standing there!? Do....d-do something!!! ]

[ It's late. ]

[ It is not late! Aren't you Death!? Fix that! ]

[ Look carefully what you did. ]

 

How naive he's been, huh. Shirahane squeezed the line of jaw, admitting before oneself, how foolish he was. He thought when powerful and mighty, one could fix things easily. But what about now? He was powerful and mighty, but what he could do? - Nothing.

 

[ You are so mean. ]

[ How come I am mean? ]

[ Ah, you know very well, don't you? ]

[ ... You know... despite being Death...you are pretty annoying... ]

[ Ahahahaha, that was a first. ]

 

The soft laughter of Kou tortured Shirahane's conscious. All memories were so vivid and so painfully warm; and warmth..how he missed it. The new god brought his hand up, gazing down his wrist where no trace was left of the jurar.

 

[ You can die!? ]

[ Can't I? ]

 

Gin's eyes suddenly froze at the flow of memories, he lifted his chin.

 

[ Ah, the number. ]

[ What? You can see it? ]

[ Correction. Only I can see it. ]

[ Why!? ]

[ Because it's the date of my birth.

That's the number of how many times I have to die before the universe is destroyed and nothing will be left. Not even your beloved God. Such a number is dangerous. ]

 

Suddenly the life got back into him, he rushed up. God, he could swear as idiotic it sounded, he believed the number was his last hope. The new god rushed out the room, not caring about his messy look.

He might not have noticed it, but many creatures sensed the change that happened. The new god was leaking with that fearsome power, not able to control it he brought destruction in many ways; in humans' world, in the seven dimensions and all he passed by. Thus the streets and paths he ran on were so deserted. No soul wanted to bump into a god that didn't know how to control such a power. Finally his eyes met the sight of the hotel they once were. It was ever so silently. But somehow it felt empty. Shirahane clenched fist and rushed inside, but found no one. Where all went? Why he felt so alone? It was like being an outsider and ever since he met Death he felt this way. He was a famous doctor and now he felt like the most unknown being. The male recalled the floor and took the stairs, not patient enough to use the elevator.

"I refuse..."

He ran the stairs fast.

"I refuse to acknowledge..."

His lips parted as if ready to scream.

"..that you are gone!"

The last tired but yet powerful stomp of foot came, he stood before the door. His eyes well focused onto the number. A faint frown appeared on brows, fists tightly clenched.

-...DAMN IT - a powerful kick came straight into the door that didn't seem to open although he had the powers of Death. Apparently he couldn't see the number; even now.

 

- Ts, ts, ts. - a short and three on count clicks of tongue came as disagreement on Shirahane's kick against the door. The new god froze as he didn't sense any presence. He turned around with the hope to see a familiar face. But these wicked lips had a perfectly formed grin.

- You are as mean as rumored, Shirahane Gin. - a male was leaning near the elevator's doors, arms crossed before chest. His hair was reaching the level of waist, perfectly knotted into one single tail, on its edge a thin and silver thread held the hair gathered.

- What do you mean..? More importantly,... who are you? - Gin growled like a lone wolf wounded after a terrible fight.

- My, even as stupid. - the male rolled eyes and rocked back off the wall. His silver eyes firmly gazing at Gin. Their depth was somehow familiar to the new god. Before his senses could alarm him, the newcomer was reaching palm for shoulder.

- You've got some guts, I admit. - the hand squeezed Shirahane's shoulder, - To show your face after what you've done.

- What? - Gin frowned.

- Ha? ''What''? Is that all you've got? 'What'? - the male seemed so critique and annoyed. Somehow Gin could sense the dislike coming from him. Silver eyes, long hair and a tattoo engraved on his knuckles. The symbols were in Sanskrit. Gin knew that man. After all..he had all the information sealed within brain.

- Samael.

- So you can, if you try, eh?

- Why are you here?

- Checking on my new boss, I suppose. - the angel of Death lifted his brow.

- I am...not your boss.

- That. I have to agree with. -a fake smile came out, Samael really felt like cracking Gin's neck. Probably the main reason was behind the race - being a human.

- ... Why I can't see the number? - Gin was rather frustrated on other topic rather than paying attention to some simple race-hater. He brushed off Samael and came straight to the point.

The angel of Death averted eyes to the number, his lips silent.

- Playing god is dangerous, Shirahane. Even if I am the angel of Death, I also can't see it.

- How come? And, if you are the angel of Death...who is Death? - Shirahane was really confused.

- Boy, boy, boy. You really should abandon what you knew as a human. That I am angel doesn't mean I am a god. I am just the manager of reapers, Death's....employees? And he is the boss.

- Oh.. - Gin lowered his chin a bit disappointed that he couldn't see the number. Was Death alive? Why he couldn't see the number? It was a number only 'Death' could see?

- ... Am I... am I Death now?

- Well, a plain copy, but yes.

- .. THEN WHY THE FUCK I CAN'T SEE THE NUMBER!? - Shirahane yelled, his glare darted at Samael.

The angel of Death was so calm. Were all reapers such calm-asses!? Gin was starting to get angry, in result the corridors flowers, that served as decoration, started to wither.

- .. First of all, control your powers. You are gonna blow the universe up, if you keep that going. Secondly, ...don't you dare to raise your voice at me, human. - Samael growled, but still not daring to touch the new god. He was like some ready to explode bomb, no way to touch him.

- Thirdly, this number... - he glanced over the door, - is the only thing even God can't see. Do you understand? It is a number the universe deleted.

- Deleted?

- Yes. It was deleted. His name was well. All of his past life was buried and burned. He was forgotten.

- K...Death was forgotten? - he almost said the real name of Death, but he wasn't so stupid to say it out loud. So he corrected himself.

- You really don't know anything, do you? - Samael lifted his brow.

- I.. I know many things in my head.. but I can't understand them..

- Ah. - another click of tongue, - You shouldn't have stolen his powers, Shirahane. There is a reason why he was chosen. It is only him who can control these powers. Because of him we are alive. No matter the race, no matter the place and the dimension. We are alive because of Death.

What a paradox. Shirahane was like sturck by another doze of truth.

- I..But I haven't forgotten him. And I won't. You too. You remember him, right? - Gin had the look of a lost puppy, glancing over Samael.

- Not for long. However, it doesn't happen for first time.

- What?

- As said, it doesn't happen for first time, Shirahane. There was a human before you, who stole his powers. He was the only one Death loved dearly.

- Who..!?

- His brother.

Gin stepped backwards, his eyes unable to blink.

- But.. his brother...he died as a mortal, right?

- Is that what we call it? - Samael rubbed chin thoughtfully, - Well, he indeed died as mortal. But it was because Death had to take the powers away. However, no one knows about it. Hell, no one knows anything about Death. It is like the universe covers up and deletes all the information. Which basically means one day, whenever it is, you will be deleted as well, Shirahane.

-..I.. I don't mind.. - the new god felt the wall behind his back, letting his guilt eat him up.

- Oh? You are not afraid of a complete deletion? Do you know what it means? You will be never reborn. Nor remembered. If Death returns, he won't remember you.

Gin's eyes shot wide and his chin lifted up.

- What!?

- He didn't remember his brother in the time of dying. He buried him in the night when his powers were stolen. And he killed anything, but his brother. The universe has to be sure that Death will do the task assigned correctly, thus his memories will be deleted.

- But... wait.. He is alive, right?

- Who knows? It is said that when Death dies for real, we all die for real. The restoring process will stop.

- Ah... - a small smile escaped the sad lips of Shirahane. Samael rose brows in curiosity.

- What are you so happy about?

- He.. he is alive, ne? - his voice got soft.

- ... Are you an idiot? - Samael stared blankly, - If he is alive, he will come to reap your ass.

- Well.. he had to do it long time ago, heh... - Shirahane tilted his head to side, his smile mixed with sadness, pain, despair and yet relief.

Samael blinked questionably,

- WOOOOOOW..

- What?

- You are more than stupid. - bluntly said.

- Hey now...watch it. - it was like Shirahane quoted Death when angry.

- Eeeeeeh. - Samael grinned, - You are starting to sound like him, ahahahahaha.

- And now what? I wait for him to return and kill me?

- ... - Samael stared briefly, not really knowing what to say.

- Would you mind...if you are my Lord for a while, Samael?

- ... What? - the angel of Death frowned skeptically.

- ... I want to confess. I...I need to confess.

- Oh, god. There he goes. - Samael rolled eyes at the human side of Shirahane. So after all he was a human, huh.

- Go find some church, kid. I am not interested. - Samale made a turn ,ready to leave. So not interested.

- ..I love Death.

A pause. Samael simply paused. The silence was so loud.

- You are an idiot. I mean it. - Samael's voice was deadly serious. His expression deep and thoughtful. Nothing good would come from that kind of love. And from love in general. The angel of Death wasn't someone who believed in so called love.

- That. I have to agree with. - Shirahane quoted Samael as smiled faintly. The quote actually was a reason why the angel turned around and glanced over. He flopped onto floor, crossing arms in front of chest, legs curled in some yoga-pose and he closed eyes,

- So?

-...Eh? - the new god blinked.

- I am listening. Confess.

Shirahane smiled again and let his lips corners relax as his expression changed to despair-ish.

- Where do I start from...,Samael?

- The beginning, the beginning, idiot. The beginning always brings to an end. Start from then.

- Yeah...the beginning..

Shirahane let shoulders relax, the cold season not felt on skin. He felt colder than the December's wind.

- I was a lonely child. I never liked to ask for help, simply because I never liked how humans understood 'help'. Hah..what am I saying.. I dislike how 'universe' understands or makes us understand 'help'. It is always a reason to pity someone, to look down on them after time. To keep rubbing on their face that they helped you and thus you were in debt. I never understood why 'help' could be so misunderstood. And yet, I felt so many times the need to scream 'help'.

Shirahane tilted head to side, glancing in the far.

- You know...in the human world I am a famous doctor. I save lives. When someone died and I couldn't save them, I felt deep in the shades of despair. And yet, I never ever thought I would kill someone. My parents were murdered. And I never wanted to forget it. Not because I wanted to bound myself to past. It was because I wanted to never forget in what reality I live. Who I am and why I am Shirahane Gin. I live in such a rotten place, worn out by the time. But still... it smells like home. And nothing, believe me, nothing is better than home. Where my mother cooked and my father watched the TV. Even if time makes that house, that home wither...I will wither along with it. But I don't want to be the one who destroys that place. Why should I? Because the world is modern? Damn I give about technology...

Shirahane's brows locked in a painful frown. What have the world come to...?

- I was tired, so tired. The man I loved in my 'reality' was actually the man who brought that reality...that illusion, rather. He was the who made me feel so dead. And the man who I hated in the beginning was the man who brought me to life...and who I killed.

Tears slid down his cheeks.

- .. How awful...humans can be, Samael?

The angel of Death was so silent. He opened slowly his silver eyes, lips not parting to answer. He knew there was more coming.

- And now I realize that I loved the illusion and hated the reality. But you know what? - Shirahane's voice shook out of emotions,

- ... I came to love that reality. It is a painful, but yet sweet reality and it is Reality. It's like justifying myself. I prefer to die by its hand than sleeping in the illusions' arms. To be ignorant and to get too full of myself and of my existence. To think that I am so important that God must guide me whenever I wish so. To think that I am so important that I must know all and learn all. But now...now I know that I was just another damned human brat.

Suddenly Samael's soft lips stretched in a very and almost unvisible smile.

- May God forgive you, my child. Salvation is for the ones that seek it. Peace is for the ones that accepted pain. And pain is the truth. You walked a path of thorns, but you met your 'God'.

- ... - Shirahane's eyes were blurry from wetness, - And I killed him...

- No. He is alive. - Samael seemed very confident.

- ...? He is...alive?

- Yes, he is alive.

- .. - Gin brushed his tears off with the sleeve, - Where is he?

Samael closed eyes again, frowning.

- In a place no one can enter.

- ... Where? Tell me .. where? - Gin was desperate. He didn't want to believe anything but the place where Death existed.

- .. The seventh dimension of the seventy-fourth Heaven. The place where God cannot enter because it is the realm of Sat.

- Sat?

- The self-existent or Universal Spirit, Brahman. - Samael opened his eyes.

- But.. why God can't enter it?

- Because it's the unchanging reality amidst and beyond the universal world, which said to be defined not. The highest level of reality. God might be powerful and almighty. He might reign above all, however, God cannot enter it. It is like putting Death - the end and God - the beginning in one place. And have you seen the moon and the sun getting along? God's realm is said to be the seventy-third. So, I believe Death's realm is the final stage of Heaven. The universe's home - Sat.

- Death..His realm is the highest level of reality!?

- How do you think that geezer answers so many questions to begin with?

- Oh... - Gin lowered chin, losing hope to enter that place.

- But. - Samael smirked - There is a backdoor.

The new god shifted in excitement right away.

- A backdoor?

- Yup. However, - he coughed as looked away and spoke by really quite voice - ... the script was lost...somehow...

- Eh...? What..? - Gin didn't hear him well.

- Well! I don't know where the script to its finding is...

.

.

.

.

They both stared at each other.

- You are terribly stupid. - Gin said bluntly.

- Hey now. Don't want to be called stupid by a another stupid.

- Aha! - Gin pointed like a kid with index - So you admit you are stupid, if you say stupid is called by another stupid!

- No, I said stupid is called by some random stupid and this whole thing is stupid.

.

.

.

- Want to call it a truce? - Gin blinked a bit confused by the whole idiocy.

- Deal. - so agreed Samael and hopped back on feet.

- Where are you going? - Shirahane gestured to follow.

- To find the script before Death comes from Heavens in his most terrifying form. And you wouldn't want to see him when pissed off and brain-washed.

Gin fell silent and followed after the angel.

 

 

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[ THE LIBRARY ]

 

Flowing sound of running water was the main thing that could be noted at the place where Shirahane was currently walking along Samael. It was like the underground of the dimension they were in. A long, but yet shrank by size, river was making its way to such a distance, where Gin's eyes couldn't reach. He wondered how deep that tunnel could go.

- Where is this place? - Shirahane brought himself to ask the angel of Death.

- That would be ... the underground, as humans call it. - he made a short pause, to think of a way which would be more suitable for Gin's understandings.

- And that means that you have your own way of calling this place? - Gin blinked at the odd answer he got.

- We surely have. - he walked before the new god, his gray coat ruffling from time to time the tightly knotted hair tail.

- Oh.. - he looked around carefully; the walls were doodled or rather engraved with odd symbols. His eyes though got curious about a certain symbol and he paused, - What is this?

Samael paused as his slit pupils averted to side, eying the symbol.

- This would be... Death's code name.

- You know his code name!? - Shirahane widened eyes, not expecting that someone else knew Death's name, or part of it.

- What? You think it's only you who knows Death's name. - the angel grinned mysteriously, but then continued walking along the speech he had to finish,

- Reoss. In fact, a few know his code name and even less his real name.

- ..Who else knows his name? - Shirahane got curious, thinking it was only him knowing it.

- That would be..God?

- So you don't know his name?

- Noooope. Only the code name, in fact all reapers know it. It is like when signing the contract with him, this name is engraved in our conscious and even more...the subconscious. While his real name is known by God as God's real name is known only by Death.

Gin's eyes shot open,

- God...has a name!?

- Boy...all things existing in the universe have a certain name. That humans are among the ignorant side of the world is not really my problem.

Shirahane paused, blinking.

- Which means... I know God's name!?

Samael paused as well, turning half side towards Gin,

- You do know it, however your brain can't tell it apart from all the new information sealed within.

- ..That's...kind of cool. - Shirahane was trying to grasp on the new things, but somehow he found it nice. If God had a name, it meant someone called him by his name. However, his expression saddened.

- What's wrong, Shirahane? - Samael tilted head, trying to figure out the human.

- I was thinking...how lonely it is.

- Lonely?

- Yeah... to have a name by which none shall call you.. Isn't it hard...to remember your own name this way? I mean...it is kind of sad and lonely..

Samael rose eyebrows in a surprise. How pure this soul was; he started to see what Death found in this male.

- Heh. Interesting. - the angel turned around and continued on the path, - Isn't it okay though?

- Um? - Gin lifted chin, blinking.

- I bet Death was happy when you asked for his name, no matter the circumstances you were under.

Shirahane's cheek grew to color red, his chest felt warm although he had no pulse.

- You...you think so?

- I know so. - Samael glanced over shoulder- And if you are so worried about God, you can ask for his name. Though your ears might bleed. - Samael laughed.

- Very funny.. - Gin averted eyes, his knowledge was enough to know why the joke was made. God's voice was the clear ring of a bell that could make you vomit each part of brain, if you aren't ready to receive the message. What could be said, if you asked for his name? Gin preferred to know not.

- Ah, we are here. - Samael announced his eyes glittering in nostalgia. He seemed to know this place.

- So...what is this place in your language? - Gin didn't want to be ignorant anymore. He had long way to go and learn things, but he was ready to give his best shot. He wanted to know the god he fell in love with. It felt less guilty when he tried to understand all he took from Death.

- Mort'a'ranthaku. - the pronunciation seemed so smooth and quickly said.

Gin blinked and surprisingly he knew what it meant.

- Death's...Library!? - he thought the room he couldn't open was Death's library but seemly he was mistaken.

- Hehe, you are pretty good for a newbie. - Samael praised when Shirahane translated the ancient language.

- But why is it...under the ground and why actually we are here?

- Eeeeeh, good questions. - Samael averted eyes away from Gin, to glance over the huge and goth styled gates,

- This underground is one of a kind, you see. It can lead you to each part of the universe. - the angel glanced over the river, - You see that river?

- Yeah?

- Look carefully, it's about to come.

- Come!? - Shirahane frowned and glanced over the calm river that suddenly started to widen its "bed". It was like making space for something to pass.

- The 'Kharon'.

A ghost-like boat appeared in between the fog created with a bent to side male, who seemed to control the boat's course. Shirahane saw a soul comfortably sitting on the boat, smiling calmly. Why it was smiling so calmly? It was just a dark tunnel. And with great timing Samael added,

- The river that separates worlds, Styx. The final stage of the soul's journey. Each soul sees an illusion created by the fog around the river. Originally 'Styx' means 'Hatred', but unlike some beliefs, this is not a river where you drown in your hatred. It is a river that washes away your regrets, hatred and all negative you can claim as pain. This way the soul will be ready for the next stage - rebirth. At least, when its time comes.

Mind blown, Shirahane just stared at the beautiful sight of that boat. A blue light glowed from under it, while the wood was embraced by yellow tulips. A petal of one fell in the water and found its way to Gin, as if beckoned by its master, Death. The new god crouched as reached with fingers to it. The contact with water made the whole river turn glowing navy blue, his fingers capturing the petal that seemed to wither by his caress. Shirahane felt so bad for destroying it, but somehow it looked beautiful. As his eyes were swallowed by the marvelous scenery, the boat disappeared in the far and all came back to normal with the fog disappearing. A moment of silence and Samael shifted forth,

- Well, this library can be opened only by you. So I am pretty useless right now.

- How do I open it?

- ... How would I know!? - Samael cracked his moody side, - At any rate, I have to go. Things got pretty chaotic upstairs since you became the new god of Death. Some reapers refuse to work for you, which leads to an enormous number of deaths.

- And what I am supposed to do in the library?

- Research.

- Research?

- This library is nothing compared to your understandings. Once you enter you will understand. I want you to see, if there is something about the script we are looking for. After all, this is the library of Death. There are many things that no soul has seen. So be careful when you pick a read. And of course, the most safest place for you. See ya' around, boy.

- But I-... - before Gin could finish his protest, Samael was already gone, - ..Right.

The new god frowned and glanced over the gates. And there was again silence. He sighed tiredly and ruffled hair a bit. How was to open these gates? He had no key. Gin closed eyes, placing hand onto the gates. His touch ever so trembling and uncertain. Suddenly a ticklish sensation crawled up his spine, made him open green eyes to see the hand overflowing with black letters rushing over skin. Like small ants they made way out, overlaying with the gates. For his surprise all of the letters formed the symbol he saw earlier,

-..Re..oss.. - his eyes greedy to see more. As soon as the gates got opened, he took a step in without hesitation. Needless to say, the gates closed themselves behind him as if keeping important secrets within the library. He saw the goth styled entrance. Before him stairs led down. Each corner had something similar to street and old-fashioned lights, however they were using the energy of flames instead of electricity. The boy felt so nostalgic and it seemed the part of Death within him liked this place. He knew it, it was something Death liked. Figures, it was only natural for the god to like such quiet and beautiful places, especially with books. As for the books, his jaw almost dropped as gaze followed from down to upwards... it was like a whole city with books.

- And...he said to make a research!? - Gin knew that sleepless nights were to come. But before anything, he kinda wanted to learn more about Kou. And what best opportunity than the favorite place of the damned god? With slow steps he entered the library city. The smell of papers and burned wax filled the air. He felt so calm. As soon as his feet hit the last stair, he saw an odd tool that looked pretty much like gramophone. However, its end was curled in the arms of a small cupid. It was like a baby angel, handling the magic of music. Gin blinked a few times, and hovered over it.

- Could it be....hmm.. - Shirahane frowned thoughtfully, trying to figure out how to switch this thing on.

His slender finger pressed a bold and well curved symbol across the shoulder of the angel. He blinked and slightly flinched, not expecting music to come out for real. And he listened to the lyrics; was it the type of music Death liked?

[

]

"I'm just a poor wayfarin' stranger,

While travelin' through this world below.

Yet there's no sickness, no toil, nor danger,

In that bright land to which I go.

I'm goin' there to see my Father.

And all my loved ones who've gone on.

I'm just goin' over Jordan.

I'm just goin' over home.

 

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me,

I know my way is hard and steep.

But beauteous fields arise before me,

Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep.

I'm goin' there to see my Mother.

She said she'd meet me when I come.

So, I'm just goin' over Jordan.

I'm just goin' over home.

 

I'm just goin' over Jordan.

I'm just goin' over home."

 

Gin sat besides the stairs and pressed the button again, addicted to what Death liked and appreciated. It was a side of him he never knew. He thought he was just a doll that knew nothing but 'death'. He never expected the damned god could have likes and something he'd keep in this place. If he kept it, Gin thought it was precious. So whatever was precious for Kou, he wanted to learn about it and to know how to protect it. He might have been ignorant, but not anymore. He was afraid not, of death, of himself, of reality and of Death. If meeting him once more even on his deathbed, so it be. The next track ran,

[

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]

"See her come down, through the clouds

I feel like a fool

I aint got nothing left to give

Nothing to lose

 

So come on Love, draw your swords

Shoot me to the ground

You are mine, I am yours

Lets not fuck around

 

Cause you are, the only one

Cause you are, the only one

 

I see them snakes come through the ground

They choke me to the bone

They tie me to their wooden chair

Here are all my songs

 

So come on Love, draw your swords

Shoot me to the ground

You are mine, I am yours

Lets not fuck around

 

Cause you are, the only one

Cause you are, the only one"

 

Gin leaned head on the gramophone's side, closing eyes. The melody was so sad and yet calming. He might not understand Death, but the things he liked spoke enough. So after all the damned god was sad and lonely. To be expected. Shirahane opened his eyes, recalling a well known saying;

- And he who is one top was cursed with loneliness...was it? - the new god didn't even wait another second, to press the button again. It was like Death speaking to him through songs. Somehow the song he played made him freeze. How he felt the lyrics to the core of his.

[

]

"I’m wasted, losing time

I’m a foolish, fragile spine

I want all that is not mine

I want him but we’re not right

 

In the darkness I will meet my creators

And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator

 

I should go now quietly

For my bones have found a place

to lie down and sleep

Where all my layers can become reeds

All my limbs can become trees

All my children can become me

What at mess I leave

To follow

In the darkness I will meet my creators

They will all agree, I’m a suffocator

 

Suffocator

Oh no

I’m sorry if I smothered you

I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside

My mother

Never to come out"

 

Leaving the track run, Shirahane got up walking around the library. He had no idea where to start from. The male felt like a lost puppy on some unknown street. His eyes fastened at a certain book shelf. It was a feeling he couldn't explain. Somehow felt like being consumed by that direction. A small and old notebook placed over the neatly ordered books. He reached for it and an exctited wave traveled over his body. It was his diary.

 

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You did a wonderful job once again ^_^ The chapter is so descriptive and the song inserts managed to get one fully in the atmosphere. ^_^

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[ MISSING ]

 

Jade, green eyes gazed upwards as Gin was sitting down on a chair, in front of a huge, and long on term of design, table. His shoulders were relaxed in the leaning back pose, his chin tilted and pointing up. The library city had an unique design in any aspect. Although it was under the ground, the roof of it was made of solid glass, painted glass. It would take him a few days to grasp the whole painting because it was a huge, literally huge, glass ceiling. But right now his eyes were focused over a certain part of that illustration. It was a pale hand, out-stretched forth as if offering a help. He reached his own hand up, wanting so much to capture the drawn suggested gesture. However, his arm relaxed again as soon as it looked it was pointless to reach for the air. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as his chin tilted back, gaze landing onto the diary. Its pattern was plain black with a silver thread of symbol engraved in the right bottom "å¹²". He paused his attention on it, knowing very well what it meant. It was the symbol of Death's codename. Curiosity started eating him; but was it right to let it overtake him?

"Should I read it? As Samael said...I should be careful with my choice of a read..",

he averted his head to side, but eyes followed the other direction. His mind consumed by the words behind that old pattern. Wasn't a diary one's most personal and valued thing? A diary could never lie. Though Gin never had a diary, he kept it all inside. Thus was taken aback when found that notebook. Who would imagine such a strong and powerful creature like Death would have a diary? That was one of the reasons why it intrigued him. The other part would probably be, what thoughts that man could have? After he knew the ultimate truth, the reality, the pain and what not, god! What thoughts such a man could have? Humans aren't born to know, but to learn. Shirahane knew it, but always wondered what if one is born to know, not learn. Then, what would he dream of? What would he express himself with? The reality right now was something ugly, probably has always been. Gin wondered in such a harsh and cold reality, could that creature have another side except the doll's mask? He crossed his arms before chest and let his chin point upwards again. A few seconds passed and he growled, frustrated. His hands slammed the table, on each side of the diary. He leaned forth with a heavy thud of the chair's legs and frustration echoed around the library city.

- GRAAAAAH! Always annoying as fuck, even after death. No wonder he was picked to be such a god. You've really have no end..... even in my thoughts... -letting his head tilt down, his hair brushed lightly his cheeks.

- Damn it.. - eyes glanced up, under the hair. Fingers flicked to side and pushed the diary open on page first. Eyes followed the lines.

 

" Time "

(Day 1st of T.E.)

 

Shirahane blinked. The first page had only that. He leaned closer to the table as let his weight on one of his elbows and kept his other hand on the page's corner; ready to flip over.

- That's odd... what is "T.E"? - he tilted head as a loud noise cracked the silence. Seemingly the library was responding to its master. A huge book landed on the table before Gin. He blinked as his back arched backwards, startled.

- What the... - he moved a bit to side with shoulders, pose shifting as to sneak a glance over the book. But as soon as he was to relax, the book opened and the pages got ruffled by some invisible power in such a huge speed. Gin jolted.

- WAAAH! - the chair fell along with him, backwards. If one was to see him now, would probably call him a retard. He looked so idiotic as the way he fell along with the chair. But it was too sudden how the library responded to his question. When the ruffling sound of paper stopped, Shirahane sat up to force his shoulders up and steal a glance. Was it over now? The book seemed calm. Not like it was to eat him, but still it was too much. The new god reached hand blindly behind to grab onto the chair and put it up, so to sit again. He leaned close to the table, eyes moved from diary to the book.

 

"Terra End

 

{Latin} Terra - Earth.

The end of Earth according old beliefs has happened before the world has been split into dimensions. Legend speaks about a fearsome god that took the heavy burden of watching over all dimensions and once the truth is revealed, he had to restore the process from the beginning through apocalypse. The restoring process is said to be 'Rebirth of Earth*' (*p.10,705)"

 

Gin lips parted, his eyebrows locked in a frown. However, was the library helping him? Shirahane took eyes off the book, looking around. The place seemed empty and no soul would break through this silence. But how on earth...? The new god returned to the diary and flipped the page over.

 

"I wonder when I will be able to rest? This is more than I could expect. I want to breathe. I feel the air, but I can't use it. I know the truth, but I can't say it. If I exist only to keep all locked, does it mean I have to lock myself away, too? I've got no God to pray to, and now I need it so.

 

(Day 36524th of T.E.)

 

Shirahane widened eyes, to let them relax in a sad gesture.

- How many ... years are 36524 days? - he glanced up, waiting for the library response.

And as to be expected, a small note appeared next to Gin's hand. It got stuck against the table's surface with its message.

- ... 100years, huh? .. - he leaned back and sighed.

"You held it for 100 years until you make your next and second entry in your diary...?"

His thought saddened him and the hand quickly grabbed the notebook to flip the pages in a fast motion; just to see how many pages at first glance. And there were not many pages written. He chuckled. What to expect. It was only natural such a strong and cold man, to keep his thoughts locked. And speak of secrets not. The new god looked around the library and a sudden thought took place in his mind. If the library could understand him and was actually helping him out, could it reveal what kind of a man was Kou? Shirahane bit lightly his bottom lip, wondering whether to try or not. He closed the diary and took it close to chest as leaned back on chair; eyes determined to try.

- ... Did Kou like this place? - he felt really dumb to talk to a library. A really unusual silence wandered around the library city and it hammered Gin's hopes. He was about to get up and abandoned that thought he had seconds ago, but suddenly he heard the claps of wings. By instinct Shirahane averted his attention to the source of sound, he captured from the far a beautiful creature. A creature he thought could exist only in books and paintings - Phoenix. Was the library sending him another answer or was a coincidence? As soon as the flame bird closed by, Gin stepped back. The flames were in different colors, overlaying their shades - from red to glowing aqua, bathed in the gentle nuance of forest green and nightly born violet. Its eyes were yellow and sharp. A chill ran his spine and he turned around, scared. Was that bird about to kill him!? He completely lost it.

- MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! - the new god ran as fast as he could. He circled around the book shelves, finding new paths and what not. As long as there was a library ''street'', he'd take it! So much he wanted to avoid that flame bird. It looked as a predator, ready to devour him. As he took another corner, to find a dead end of pile of books, he gestured to turn around and find another street; however, the bird landed just before him with lowered head. The second its wings took a relaxed pose, the creature lifted its head. It had grace and beauty in all the movements done.Gin stepped backwards, hitting the books with shoulders. His arms tightly holding onto Death's diary. The bird, of course, eyed the diary and then returned gaze to Gin. The new god trembled and landed on his ass, tightly squeezing eyes. He was scared for dear life. Needless to mention was he asked for it himself. How stupid he was, although Samael warned him.

- Don't..kill..me... - Gin sobbed out, fingertips digging into the pattern of the notebook. Not able to notice due to closed eyes, the phoenix glowed in a beautiful light. Colorful and flame-like feathers floated around as finally feet and hands formed. The light was its transformation. The bird got to be a beautiful male, although his appearance seemed to be a bit feminine. He stood before Gin and lowered down with green eyebrow lifted,

- ... How do I kill Death? Are you stupid? - making his point, he saw Shirahane look up right away. Expecting some screams or books flying his way, the phoenix got caught off guard by the statement.

- ... Your...hair... is like a rainbow - Gin blinked like a child.

- .................. - the phoenix got annoyed and rocked back, crossing arms before chest. His golden eyes staring at the diary.

- And you are holding my master's diary. I wonder what he'd say when I tell him. - a sadistic grin came forth.

Gin realized it right away and hid the notebook behind back.

- I ...didn't read it!...Not all of it.. - he mumbled the last part as looked away, then back to the phoenix.

- Your master?

- Yeah. Kou. - he grinned.

- YOU KNOW HIS NAME! - Gin hopped up in a surprise.

- Of course I know his name - blank stare came on face.

- But how? I mean...no one knows it and then...you know it..and how...this diary is his, right? Is this library his? Where is he? Is he really alive? I mean, I know he is. Isn't he? I really need to see him and that Samael said we need the script. But that script is lost. I don't know what to do..I need to see him - in a messy order of thoughts, Gin blabbed out all he had in mind at once, not making sense.

- ..... Man. - the phoenix reached hand for his forehead, to massage temples. He really heard enough.

Shirahane realized he made no sense and lowered head to apologize.

- I am sorry.. I am just confused...and I don't know what to do..I need Kou.. - his tears slid down again, feeling the need to grasp onto that board back of his. He swore to himself, if he had a chance to see that back again, he'd embrace him tightly. He needed to see these blackcurrant eyes again. How he missed him, with all his being. Then he realized that he stood before the phoenix with wishes, but yet he killed its master. How egoistic he was again. Gin shut his eyes again and felt ashamed. How ugly he felt.

The phoenix glanced over and sighed.

- You killed him, didn't you? - it was a question he knew, but he wanted to see if the human had enough of courage to admit it.

- I did. And even if I have an apology to offer, is it worth the speech? All my words seem...useless, worthless and without a meaning now. - slightly opening eyes, he looked at his feet.

- You are wrong. - the phoenix slapped against the new god's despair. It was like a ray of light. Just like the bird was itself. Gin lifted chin up, expecting the rest of the words his way.

The phoenix turned around, his robe followed him. It was a white robe, just that. He looked like a divine. Shirahane followed the creature, though had no idea where to.

- Do you know how long I've been with Kou?

- .. I guess long enough to ask me that question.

- Heh. - the phoenix chuckled out the content of the answer, - You are not stupid at all, eh?

- Seemingly, however stupid enough to trust the Devil.

- Well, we all have that idiocy when it comes to that rotten shit. - the phoenix looked over shoulder as led the way to the center of the library; where the table was. His eyes were filled with wisdom, it was no wonder why Death had such a creature as pet. The phoenix continued,

- Do you know what wound hurts the most?

Gin frowned since he had a good knowledge of medicine, however the question seemed to involve not such a sphere. He had no answer to offer, so he kept silent.

- It's the wound that bleeds not. Same is with all the rest in this world. The most lonely soul seems most bright. The most dangerous things shine with beauty, to lure you into the trap. The most sincere thankful soul is the one that speaks not thankful words, child. - the phoenix paused his walk as turned around, to dart his deep and piercing glance at Shirahane,

- They act. They show their gratefulness through acts, kindness, help and the ability to never forget. As such, same are the most poisoned by the regret souls. The most sincere and powerful apology doesn't lie in words, Shirahane Gin. It lies within your heart and soul. As long as you live and remember what you did, reflect on it. Even if you fix it, never forgetting it is the true form of apology. Because we make mistakes to learn from them, not to accept them. And what knowledge you've seen without remembrance? I've lived long enough, but yet I am younger than Death. Do you know what sorrow he holds? You've got no idea how many times he had that look in the eyes, the need to apologize. To apologize to whom though? You know he is alive. You've got the chance to apologize. However, he'd never have that chance same like yours. And he knows it, all left for him is the remembrance. Nothing less and nothing more. So, stop whining like a fucking kid and get to your senses. You are Death right now and as such you have to lead the army of Death...before we all are erased.

- ... The..the army of Death?

- Reapers, idiot. - the phoenix sighed and looked aside.

- You called me here for a reason, didn't you? The library responds to Death wishes and since it sensed his powers within you, it submits to you. You've asked something about my master and I am the only one who knows all about Death. I haven't been erased not even once during the 'restoring process'. A reason why I live here is because once I step out, it'd be the end of me.

- Aren't you a phoenix? You can be reborn.

- Hah. I can be reborn only within this city. My powers were sealed away by the Curia. If it wasn't Kou, I'd have been down to ashes long ago.

- Kou saved you!?

- He indeed did. That stupid bastard. - the flame male laughed and turned around to continue the lead.

- What.. is he like?

- Kou?

- Yeah..

- Hmmm. Hella know. - the flame boy shrugged.

- Heh? Didn't you say that--

- That I have been near him doesn't mean I know him, 'kay!? - the phoenix rose voice, but then calmed down after a sigh.

- Look. I am here to answer to questions regarding Death. Not Kou.

- I understand..

- Good.

- ..Is it true that his realm is Sat?

- Yes, it is true.

- Hm... then is it possible to get there ...in any way..?

- Well, there is one way only. It's through the script of Seven Sinners and Seven Divines.

Gin blinked and paused walking, having the feeling he heard that somewhere. But most probably was the information he received from Kou.

- Then...how do we find it?

- We can't. - the phoenix glanced over shoulder.

- What?

- It's on...a hard to get place...kinda. - a raise of brow, the phoenix tried his best to explain.

- On..a hard to get...place? - Gin repeated.

- Yeah..

- Where?

- Well.. -the flame bow stopped and scratched his cheek, - On his back, tattooed.

- Well..you've seen it?

- Yeah.

- Cool! Then you try remember it! - Gin got happy, but somehow the phoenix frowned before him.

- It's not that I can't remember it.

- ...Then?

- It's...I can't read it.

- It's...blurry? - he suggested since he couldn't see the number on that door as well, when he tried so hard to see it.

- Blurry? No. It's perfectly tattooed. Even beautifully tattooed.

- Uh... Then?

- It's in a language that only Death speaks.

- Death has his own language!?

- Yeah. It's his ticket to the realm of Sat.

- ... Well, I am Death now. So we can try it.

- You don't understand... this is a language that only one creature can know unless it transfer by own will the knowledge to another creature. However, you killed him forcefully, kind of, and as such ...you don't know that language now.

- .... Great... - another hope lost.

- However,

Shirahane lifted his chin, it sounded like the beginning of a promising sentence.

- ... there is another creature that can speak that language. He served Death long enough to gain his trust and accept that knowledge.

- Who? - a note of jealousy ran Gin's veins but more than anything, he needed to see Kou. So he tried to push that feeling aside.

- His secretary, Jaropht. Do you know, by any chance, where is he?

Come to think of it, where was Jaropht? Shirahane was so consumed by all that happened that didn't even realize it. The secretary was indeed gone and it wasn't a good sign.

- I..I don't know..

- You..what!?

- I mean..I was in the room and ...why actually Jaropht didn't stop the whole thing?

The phoenix boy stepped backwards and shook head,

- Can't be..

- Can't be..what?

- Damn it. - he spoke through squeeze of jaw, the flame boy clenched fists.

- What?

- Kou has freed him.

- Freed him? Then where is Jaropht now?

- The Supreme Curia.

- ... What...?

- You've got to find him. Fast. - the eyes of the phoenix seemed scared.

- What..wait, why? - Shirahane got shaken by the other by shoulders, he felt the fear transferred to him.

- They will know...if they know..we all are dead!

- They will know what?

- Death's name! If they learn it...they will use the final seal of Sat!

- The final seal of Sat? What is that?

As soon as the question came, the library reacted in an angry manner. Suddenly the glass ceiling got dark red, it was like a played ''show'' of what it meant. Flames formed above them, the library shook ground. Gin looked up and saw a terrifying image. Kou was drained off blood as the seven deadly sins masked with long and dark robes feasted over; the seven virtues broken with spears through chest. God was dead. Death was dead. The Devil was dead. All left was the ugly image of sins eating away the universe until the deletion was completed and then...they were gone, too. The ultimate darkness and despair reigned. Not a single life or creature existed. It was empty and dark. No energy, no spirit and no light. Gin's eyes showed the pure fear, he shook all over. He glanced back at the phoenix,

- Death..has...how many times he has left to die?

- It doesn't matter. If they get him, they will stab him over and over, until he is done for it. Until they destroy all.

- But why!? They don't want to exist? Why would they ...kill themselves even? - Shirahane was in utter disbelief.

- They aren't even alive to begin with.

- What?

- Death sealed them in one certain dimension. They are trapped same like me. If they leave, they die. And because that curse can't be lifted, their hatred is over borders; they want to bring all into that hell. To curse the worlds with same thing. They want to seal the universe away. The Supreme Curia is the court that put the beginning of the war.

- The war... the war of the worlds? - another memory of Kou hit Shirahane.

- Yes. The war of the worlds. They opened a box that shouldn't have been opened. And they cursed Kou with the burden of Sat. Their ultimate weapon turned the tables on them and now he is in their top list for revenge. We have to get Jaropht before they break him.

- I understand - Gin squeezed his hands in fists and frowned.

It was the beginning of the end.

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When the phoenix came and started to talk I thought it was Kou's new shape after he got reborn :leaf8: I can't wait for the new chapter and hope they will met again :_red_fox 8

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