Looking Back on it all, I Think I Love You... (Bikky and クローバー (Clover))

[Ero Gaki]

Looking Back on it all, I Think I Love You...

 

Summary: Two sophomores in college meet as roommates and remember that they were elementary school friends. What happens when a certain moment in their lives is discussed while they reminisce

and feelings arise in one of them?

 

Genres: Romance, School Life

 

Rating: R-18

 

Characters:

 

Kougami Eiji

 

 

Eiji is a sophomore who gets along with everybody. He is warmhearted, and is a little bit popular, but not to the point where he has fangirls. He is smart, and most of his friends are no match for his good points: his looks and his intelligence. He loves someone from his elementary days, and is still in-love with that guy until now. He is also well-known for his Megane.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Ryuuji Keita (竜士慶太)

 

 

Keita is generally a quiet guy, but he's often seen smiling about something that happened in his day, however big or small that thing was. He has a relaxed approach to life, always taking everything, schoolwork included, at his own pace. He's somewhat skilled at playing guitar, and he likes to sing as well. He also has a good memory, especially of moments from his childhood and someone who came into it early on in his life...

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita finished moving the last of his things to his new room. Move-in day was always busy at the university, so he had arrived early to make sure he could set up as quickly as possible and spend as much time getting to know his roommate as possible. He was excited to find out how much roomier it would be in comparison to his dorm from freshman year. After moving the last of his clothes to his drawer, Keita noticed something on his door. All that was on it was his name and someone else's name underneath it. He assumed the other name was his roommate'a name. The name listed below, however, seemed to strike him as familiar. He stopped for a moment to look at the name.

 

"Kougami Eiji..." he mused, scratching the back of his head. Where have I heard that name before? Do I even know who he is? Did I know him before elementary school? Did we even go to the same school? Maybe I should give myself some time to think about it. I haven't even taken out my guitar yet.

 

Keita left the door open, walking over to his guitar case. He opened it up, took out his guitar, and a picture underneath the instrument flew up with the guitar. Keita picked it off of his guitar and smiled. It was a picture of him and another boy with dark hair and glasses. The two of them had fallen asleep against each other in a snowy park against a backdrop consisting of the beautiful and ethereal aurora borealis and a radiantly starry night. One of their mothers had wrapped Keita's scarf around both of their necks in their sleep before taking the picture, producing a very romantic effect coupled with the background. That picture always brought a smile to his face; the dark-haired boy was the first friend he made in elementary school. Putting the picture back in his case, he started strumming the opening lines to 千本桜 (Senbonzakura) to pass the time.

[Ero Gaki]

"Shut up." Eiji said angrily as his friend teased him.

 

"Really, Eiji. You suck! I've been telling you always to wear contact lenses and stop wearing those nerdy glasses!" His friend who teased his glasses again uttered.

 

"Yeah. And you even have that looks. Maybe you'll have fangirls when you take them off!" The other said.

 

Eiji sighed.

 

Why do these bastards keep on bugging me?

 

"Hell no. Contact lenses are irritating. Moreover, stop butting into my business. I'm trying to finish my homework here." With an obvious annoyed tone, Eiji answered.

 

"Why do you even have to finish that right now? You can do it in your new room anyways." His friend said to him as he pouted. "It is because if you continue working right now, you'll kill the joy."

 

Eiji sighed again. "You really aren't thinking. I'm gonna be busy moving out my stuffs later." Eiji exclaimed. "don't worry, this is the last item."

 

"Okay then." His other friend replied. "By the way, do you know who your roommate is already?"

 

Eiji paused from writing on his notebook and he leaned on his chair.

 

"Now that you mention it.. I have no idea who it is."

[クローバー (Clover)]

After finishing the first song, Keita took out the book of etudes his private teacher gave him and told him to memorize for an audition he needed to perform at later in the week to enter the music program of the university. He opened it to the page of the last etude he was expected to know, and he found another picture being used to hold his spot in the book. This picture was probably taken when they were a little older, nearing their middle school years. By that time, the dark-haired boy was getting ready to move out of their hometown in Nagano for what his mother told him was "the city". The picture was of the two of them hugging for the last time before the dark-haired boy moved away. In the picture, Keita's face was buried in the other boy's shoulder, so he couldn't tell if he was crying or not looking at the picture now. That picture always brought a tear to his eye when he remembered the moment it depicted. Trying to shake his emotions away, Keita went to practicing, but he had a considerable amount of trouble focusing on the notes and ended up making several mistakes. After a couple failed attempts at playing the etude completely through, his cell phone began to ring. With a flustered sigh, he answered it.

 

"Hello?" he tried as hard as he could not to sound angry.

 

"Kei-chan?" The gentle voice of an old woman sounded on the other line.

 

"Obaa-san? Is that you?" Keita said, a little shocked. His grandmother didn't have a cell phone or a landline phone to his knowledge, so hearing her over his phone was new to him.

 

"Yes, it is. I'm over at your mother's house using her phone to talk to you. How are you?" his grandmother responded.

 

"Ah, I'm fine. How are you and Ojii-san? Did his operation go well?" Keita said.

 

"They successfully removed his brain tumor before things got too bad." the old woman said happily. "Unfortunately, he's confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, since the tumor affected his ability to walk."

 

"Oh, great! I was really worried for him." Keita responded.

 

"Did you have much trouble moving in?" his grandmother asked.

 

"Not a at all. I didn't bring my whole life with me this time around." Keita joked.

But that boy from elementary school has stayed with me... he thought.

 

"Wonderful! Who's your roommate?" his grandmother said.

 

"Kougami Eiji." Keita said, his voice becoming more contemplative.

 

"Kougami... Where have I heard that name before?" his grandmother tried to remember the last time she heard that name, but to no avail, due to her advanced age. "I know I've heard it, and I know from whom I heard it."

 

"Who told you?" Keita asked, hopeful that what she knew would help him figure out who his roommate actually was.

 

"You did, Keita." his grandmother said.

 

Keita froze. When in elementary school did he ever visit his grandmother? She lived in Okinawa, far away from his family in Nagano, and they rarely ever had time to visit each other when he was in elementary school because of his father's preoccupation with finding a job.

 

"Can you remember when I told you?" Keita asked further.

 

"Unfortunately, I can't. It was a long time ago, and you know my memory isn't getting any better than it was back then." his grandmother replied.

 

"I see. Maybe I'll call mom later and ask her about Eiji. Thanks for calling." Keita said, feeling slightly more refreshed than before the call.

 

"It was a pleasure to speak with you, especially after seeing you grow so much over the years. It makes my little old heart flutter with joy to see you so happy." his grandmother said. "Anyway, I'll leave you to your work. Do call your mother sometime soon."

 

"I will! Bye!" Keita hung up. Being distracted from his work really helped his improve his mood. He tried playing through again and finished the etude completely. There were still a few mistakes, but he still had a lot of time to work on them. He then put his guitar on the stand near his bed and flopped onto his bed, exhausted from moving in.

[Ero Gaki]

"Baka." Eiji's friend teased him again. "How could you not know?"

 

"Duh. It was just decided yesterday and my old room was far away from the new one." Eiji explained.

 

"Still-"

 

Eiji rubbed his head and cut off his nagging friend's sentence.

 

"I'm gonna go check it out, Okaa-san."

 

Eiji immediately grabbed his notebook and then he left.

 

As he passed by the hallway, new students murmured softly and praised him on the sidelines.

 

"Look at that megane!" "He looks cute!."

 

They're at it again. This is exhausting.

 

Eiji walked fast and he felt like he was in need of something to quench his thirst, and so he went to the vending machine near the boarding building where his new room is located.

 

Eiji inserted a coin and then grabbed the soda.

 

He drank it and then he leaned on the wall near the vending machine.

 

Eiji looked at the sunny sky, then remembered something.

 

It was at times like these where that person and I played a lot.

 

How nostalgic.

 

Eiji chuckled. Why am I remembering my memories of my childhood at this point? Ahou.

 

Eiji threw the can and then he went inside the building.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita heard something that sounded like a door opening, which snapped him out of his trance. He immediately got up and stretched, anxious to see who it was. Looking around to make sure the room was neat, he saw that his guitar case had fallen over. Picking it up, he took a look at the keychain attached to one of the zippers. It was an old, tarnished silver pocket watch. Opening it up, he noticed that the clock was off by three hours and reset it, rewinding the old thing as well. He then took notice of the message written in permanent marker on the inside of the watch.

"Keita,

Thank you for being a great friend.

I'm going to miss you when I move away.

Eiji." Keita read. More memories resurfaced. This was the watch Keita had found at school one day, but lost the very next day. Eiji had held onto it for him until the day he moved away, at which point, he gave the watch back as a parting gift. Since then, the watch gave Keita hope that one day, their paths would cross again. Leaning his guitar case against a corner of the room to give it more support, Keita waited to see who the new person entering the building was.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji looked at the obviously new interior designs.

 

There were some sort of bluish-theme onto it, and he felt relaxed about it.

 

Keita paused for a while and he rummaged on his pants-pocket.

 

He grabbed a small white note, probably the size of a 1/4 paper, and then he read it.

 

The paper that he just read contains the floor and the room number of the new room he's in.

 

His packed boxes were already inside since he payed the cleaning staff on moving it there ahead instead of him.

 

He was kind of lazy, and then he hoped that his new roommate didn't touch his things.

 

He walked hurriedly as he raised his glasses a little using his pointing and middle finger.

 

He finally arrived into the entrance of the room, and then he read the list of boarders near the door.

 

Ryuuji Keita? I think I've seen this name before. Oh well, must have been one of my school mates in Middle School.

 

Eiji heard something that fell on the floor from the inside, so he knew then that his roommate is already inside.

 

Instead of barging in, he knocked instead.

 

[クローバー (Clover)]

Hearing the knock, Keita went to the door instinctively. He opened it, and the sight before him made his heart stop. The man standing before him looked exactly like his childhood friend right down to the glasses he wore. He was considerably taller than the last time they saw each other, and his figure looked broader than Keita's slim body. Keita just stared into his eyes, astounded, before speaking.

"Eiji-kun?" he said softly, using his friend's childhood nickname in the hopes that that would jog his memory.

[Ero Gaki]

"I'm your roo-"

 

As soon as Eiji saw the roommate he has, he was dumfounded, and that he was speechless.

 

It was the person whom he was talking about when he looked at the sunny sky as he was drinking his soda a while ago.

 

That is why the name is familiar for him.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Eiji finally got back to his senses.

 

"Is that you, Keita?" Eiji asked.

 

Eiji looked at the other guy from head to toe.

 

His childish physical features didn't change much, so he knew that it was no other than Keita.

 

"O-Ohisashiburi." Eiji muttered as he averted his gaze towards Keita and he looked at the window with a blushing face instead.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita's face lit up when Eiji remembered him, his blue eyes sparkling like sapphires. He hugged his childhood friend for the first time in several years.

"It is you, Eiji! It's been so long! You look just like I remember!" Keita said, beaming. "C'mon, let's sit down. You've probably done a lot of walking around looking for our dorm."

Keita led Eiji inside and took a seat on his own bed, moving his guitar stand out of the way to give more room for Eiji to sit.

"So how are you? How was that other school in the city?" Keita asked.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji got surprised when Keita hugged him.

 

"Of course I'll remember." Eiji then chuckled. He felt happy since he met his childhood friend again.

 

Nostalgia takes place for a little bit, and then Keita offered him to sit down.

 

Keita nodded and he sat beside Keita with the space Keita left for him.

 

"I'm still the same as always, though I excel more at some aspects than we were still kids. That school was normal, but this one, I heard, is more appropriate for College." Eiji replied with a smile until he noticed the Guitar stand.

 

"Eh, so you play Guitar ? Sugoi ne."

[クローバー (Clover)]

"Yeah. I've been playing since maybe my last year of middle school. I actually have an audition that I need to perform at later this week. I have to play a couple scales, a song they pick out for me, and a song of my choice." Keita said. Being with Eiji like this reminded him of elementary school, when they'd go to Eiji's house after school to play on most days. "Oh, would you like something to eat? I have ramen and a kettle."

[Ero Gaki]

Heh, sugoi." Eiji said as he looked at the Guitar stand.

 

When he heard about Keita's offered, he declined in an instant.

 

"I'm not hungry, so I'll pass. Thank you anyway."

 

Eiji fell silent for a while, and then he looked around the room.

 

This is pretty spacious.

 

Eiji then looked at Keita one more time.

 

He's still the Keita i know, huh. It's good if that's the case then.

 

Eiji felt happy again. He can't stop smiling. It was really a lucky day for him.

 

"Keita. What song are you gonna play? Maybe I can help."

[クローバー (Clover)]

"Well, the song they picked out for me is something that's from some obscure composer that you probably wouldn't know about. The song I want to play for them... I can't decide between Senbonzakura or Last Night Good Night." Keita said, holding up the scores of the two pieces in question. "I like the energy of Senbonzakura, but I feel like if I do something slow and emotional like Last Night Good Night, I might leave a stronger impression. But the only problem with that song is that it reminds me of... that night."

Keita's voice trailed off as painful memories of the last day they spent together before they had to part ways came back to him. He tried his hardest not to cry as he remembered when Eiji came to sleep over at Keita's house that night, and Keita's mother told him the next morning that he was holding onto Eiji all throughout the night. He started tearing up and wiped his eyes, trying to keep whatever little shreds of his composure he had left.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji knew what Keita felt currently.

 

It was clear on his expression. It was clear on the look of his eyes.

 

We parted ways for how many years, yet I remember everything.

 

Never once have I forgotten about the last time you were with me.

 

How could I possibly forget about the person that I-

 

Eiji stood up and went closer to Keita. He felt guilty about Keita's sadness. He blames himself for it.

 

Eiji placed his arms on Keita's back. He hugged him softly, as Keita's hair brushes on to his face.

 

" 'Last Night, Good Night.' is a wonderful song. " He softly whispered.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita smiled weakly. He held onto Eiji as if he'd lose him again at any moment and just let out his emotions. He cried into Eiji's shoulder.

"I... I never want to lose you, Eiji. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Those years following that day were extremely lonely... I'm so happy that I've been reunited with you. Please, hold me tighter." Keita said. His emotions were washing over him like endless waves from a tropical storm. All those years of acting like everything was all right. They no longer meant anything to him anymore. All he knew was that Eiji was back with him and wouldn't be going anytime soon.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji held Keita tighter.

 

Eiji was overwhelmed by happiness then. Finally, the warmth that he has been longing for came back to him.

 

"Stop crying. I won't be going anywhere far from you anymore." Eiji closed his eyes as he whispered those words.

 

"I will never leave you again, Keita. I can stand up on my own now, and I already could decide things in my own. I decided to be with you always... and that decision started even when we were still kids. I know I did not fulfill it at that point, but I assure you it will never happen again." Eiji said with a calm but promising tone.

 

"Tell me. How did you feel when I was gone?"

[クローバー (Clover)]

"Empty. Broken. I constantly had to mask my sadness with a disingenuous smile. At night, I'd sometimes cry myself to sleep since the nights without you felt so much colder because you were gone from my life." Keita said, having calmed down a little. "Now I feel like a missing part of me has finally returned. I feel complete with you, Eiji."

Keita nuzzled his head into Eiji's strong chest, taking in his friend's scent. It was a mix of an expensive cologne with cinnamon. His arms remained wrapped around his friend, not wanting to let go.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji let go of Keita, and then his right hand touched Keita's cheek.

 

"I felt the same too. Never once have I forgotten about you." Eiji said warmly.

 

Eiji then traced the corner of Keita's eye and wiped the tears off by his fingers.

 

His skin is still soft.. I used to brush his cheeks often like this before.

 

"You're still cute as always, Keita." Eiji said bluntly with a wholehearted smile on his face.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita smiled genuinely for the first time since he got to the university. He remembered how Eiji would always caress his cheek to comfort him. It made his heart glow with warmth and happiness that no other person could bring. Eiji's compliment only served to further that effect.

"You're still the man I remember, Eiji. Gentle, kind, and there for me when I need him." Keita said.

[Ero Gaki]

Eiji pinched Keita's cheek then.

 

"Kind? Who are you referring to?" With an arrogant look, Eiji muttered.

 

Eiji then chuckled.

 

"It's kinda embarrassing to be praised like that."

 

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita laughed. He enjoyed how Eiji would always get bashful when he received a compliment. Really, the man needed to give himself more credit for what he did well.

"Anyway, do you need help unpacking? I'm done with my stuff, and there's still plenty of time for me to practice for my audition." Keita said.

[Ero Gaki]

Un-Unpacking? Help?

 

He's gonna see my childhood drawings! L-like when I drew him, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek!

 

Hazukashii!

 

Eiji's cheeked was flushed with red, and he undoubtedly shook his head and declined the offer.

 

"NO! I-I mean, um, I can handle it myself. Ahaha.." Eiji then delivered a fake laugh as he rubbed the back of his head.

[クローバー (Clover)]

Keita looked at Eiji, a little confused. He then laughed along with him.

"Ah, I see you remember how clumsy I used to be when I was little. Don't worry. I haven't dropped a valuable family heirloom in years!" Keita joked.

Maybe he's hiding something? But... Doesn't he trust me? Keita thought.