TheWalker Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I need help.... at school i just noticed and it been half of the school year and i just noticed now... i have no girl friends to ask help with problems or ask stuff about. Plus i am the only Asian girl in my whole cluster... in general i has no girl friends to talk to about stuff and none of them seems like they want to talk to me. Is it because i hang out with the guys too much or maybe how i am a gamer girl or maybe how i look or act. What i need help with is how to talk to them or even how to start a conversation. Or if i should just even not try to make friends with them in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeRandomGuy Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 You should search for some interests you and your classmates have in common. Maybe listen to what they're talking about normally. If you find something all of you like it's way easier to start a conversation and find out more things about each other. If you don't have any interest in common you should probably search for friends somewhere else. I hope I could help you at least a little bit, if not there are probably many people in this forum who have more expirience with social contacts than me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CutiePie Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 You should search for some interests you and your classmates have in common. Maybe listen to what they're talking about normally. If you find something all of you like it's way easier to start a conversation and find out more things about each other. If you don't have any interest in common you should probably search for friends somewhere else. I hope I could help you at least a little bit, if not there are probably many people in this forum who have more expirience with social contacts than me Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueNeon Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 You mentioned you are a gamer.... there are so many studies about how virtual world affects youth social skills. But,it also depends on your personality. Shy or insecure people tend to have problems when it comes to communication... Just smile and be friendly.People are much more approachable and less intimidating when they smile. Don't be rude or sarcastic. Now...if you have never talked with some of them,introduce yourself.After this,compliment them.Everyone likes getting compliments. Start conversations with them be spontaneous.It's so simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRayman Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 One of my best friends a girl (well woman I guess as it been 13/14 years since we were in school), most of her close friends our guys and its always been that way for her. Also most of our circle is made up of guys - I think I fill a lot of her "girlfriend" needs. Anyway she has always found it easier to be friends with guys and its been like that since her teens she has found friendships with guys are a lot less complicated, she did find though when she started hanging around with girls she had to rein in her sense of humor and that she had to adjust to the different dynamics involved in girls social groups. I have always really treasured my female friendships (as a guy) so I can understand why you'd like to make some female friends. There are just somethings and times when you need a female friend, my advice would be to take your time and not rush as good strong friendships are gonna take time to build and "breaking" into a new group can be hard. Do you have any classes that you sit next to girls in, or are there any girls your already chat with casually? I would say its best to build on any, even casual relationships you have. Most of all don't worry about it I'm sure the friends you've got are good, have you spoken to any of them about it. Tell them to get girlfriends so you can have a girl to talk too. I'm sure it'll work out for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalker Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 Well i do talk to some of the girls but it is more like they want to get work done or more like copy from mine... by their conversations are talking about people around them that i don't know or even people who tries to keep away from my other guy friends. The only thing i'm into is anime and video games more like pc games. They don't seem like the type that like anime and one of them asked me what is anime and told me she would never watch it. They do a lot of selfies or however you spell that and i'm really camera shy. They have twitters and facebooks but i ain't into those kinds of social networks. Plus they like Justin Bieber and One Direction while i listen to Original Sound Tracks from my favorite games and half of the artistic they know i have no idea who they are. Plus in the end i can't really bring myself to like what they like it is too impossible and way too much work for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayakashiu Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 i think you can't force a friendship..if you don't like what this girls do/talk about, you won't be able to be friends with them..but there must be some girls that are different aren't there??why not trying to talk to them? i totally agree with what's been written by others..you have to find some common grounds with the girls that doesn't mean that you have to like the same things that they do, but you have to be at least interested in their hobbies and things they like..aren't there any girls like that in your school, that you are interested in talking with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalker Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 There are but my school has three clusters A, B, and C. A and B move around to different classes while cluster C moves in a group and i am in cluster C. I am stuck with 5 girls and 13 boys. I had other friends from last year but we are not in any classes together. There is one class which is different which is Japanese class but most of the girls there was forced into this class because they wanted to take French but didn't get in. My friends from last year and that all knows anime and games are all in the other Japanese Class.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayakashiu Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 ok that really sucks :/ but you can still hang out with your old friends after the school is finished right? or you could make some new friends outside the school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalker Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 I know i could always go over to Lavi's house and chill and talk about what we always do.... but at my school i have studies were we can work together and help each other out but the only people i know there are four of the girls in my class and i wanna try and talk to them. But i just don't know how because i ain't a normal lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRayman Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 anime and video games more like pc games.. - PC gaming is the best! - Nice Choice! They don't seem like the type that like anime and one of them asked me what is anime and told me she would never watch it. They do a lot of selfies or however you spell that and i'm really camera shy. They have twitters and facebooks but i ain't into those kinds of social networks. Plus they like Justin Bieber and One Direction while i listen to Original Sound Tracks from my favorite games and half of the artistic they know i have no idea who they are. Plus in the end i can't really bring myself to like what they like it is too impossible and way too much work for me If I'm honest I remember (just) what school was like and it sounds like their "image" and how other people see and think of them is still the most important think to some of these girls (trying to be nice about it). Where as you seem more comfortable with yourself and your interests - not hiding that your a girl gamer or into anime. Oh and Justin Bieber isn't that a warning sign! I know its little help but I'd try not worry about not having any close girlfriends in time your gonna meet girls and naturally become friends without even knowing it. Justin Bieber I mean really thats kinda scary are their no goth/punk/mosher (are there still moshers these days?) girls you could hang out with they are far nicer than the "popular/cool" kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalker Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 I on Friday i tried to talk to them. They seem nice and i sat with them and talked a little. We kinda got along but after a few minutes they started to talk to each other so i left and sat with my dude friends. But when i was gonna go back they were talking about me behind my back.... it really wasn't nice. They seem kinda fake.... I think i'm just gonna stay with my dude friends. Thanks to everyone who tried to help. I'm not sad or anything i'm more relived i don't know why but they never look like the kind of friend i'll ever have and the only thing i talk about is metal gear so maybe it was for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRayman Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 they were talking about me behind my back.... it really wasn't nice. That suck a lame thing to do, but I'm sure if you had stayed and somebody else had left they'd of talked about them. not the sort of friends you want thats for sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dev Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. To be perfectly honest, people that feel the need to gossip about others unnecessarily are pathetic and worse than something scraped from the bottle of a barrel. Avoid those childish people! From my own personal experience I found that being friendly with everyone allowed me to make some friends with people that were popular however, as you described earlier, these people usually only wanted help with work. I assume you are not in University yet because I found these sorts of people in abundance in High School. I used to be extremely reserved and I am still quite shy but I am social (juxtaposition? lol). Tips: 1) Ice breakers are your friend. - Simple "did you get that homework completed?", "I like how your hair looks today", "the weather is lovely today isn't it?" or my personal favourite, "oh my gosh, I haven't spoken to you in a while. How are you doing?". Ice breakers are anything that will begin a conversation between two people. They are designed to "break the ice barrier" allowing you to continue a conversation about whatever you like. You will want to use questions that lead into long responses rather than simple yes/no however, anything to get someone talking is great! 2) Presence is important. - You should smile. Smiling is a welcoming expression that makes people want to gravitate towards you. Being happy and appearing interested in communicating with the person in question allows you to hold a conversation for longer (even if they are talking about someone and you really want to punch them). 3) Friendly but not a push over! - A lot of people in High School are childish and have this idea that putting others down, spreading rumors and being atrocious is acceptable and will allow them to climb up the social ladder. Never let anyone think you are a polite pushover by standing up for yourself when it comes to it. DO NOT help people with their work if you sense they are using you. Personal experience, people get what's coming to them so let karma run it's course (you did nothing wrong by saying no). When you get older and get into University and your future place of work you will meet mature people that will not be as difficult to communicate with. I promise you that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now