Our Secret Song (Bellala99 & Gatichan)

[Gatichan]

But Dave couldn’t stop laughing. “D-Dave, I…I’m sorry,” he spluttered, continuing to snicker and snort. He tried his best to get a hold of himself, but it was hard. Gulping down large amounts of air, Jared reached out to turn his boyfriend’s enraged face towards him. “Dave- I…I’m so sorry, but just now…Trevor reminded me of my first ever puppy,” he laughed, shaking his head as he tried to get his voice to sound normal again. Why was Dave getting so worked up? It wasn’t as f the carpet were irreplaceable and anyway, it was a rather natural thing: puppies at first pooped anywhere they were until they learned to discriminate.

 

“It’s just that…” Jared drew in a large gulp of air, still grinning. “My first dog, Patty- she went and wet my carpet inside my studio as well, round about in the same place where Trevor did. My father came up just as I was trying to clean up the mess and he went ballistic. It was wild- he was screaming and bellowing and stamping his foot and pointing out the dog at my puppy who had only just learned to open its eyes and who had just begun to explore. His reaction was totally uncalled for, this carpet is old, even though it looks well-kept and anyway, this is MY part of the house, not his. And Patty, who somehow sensed that I didn’t agree with my father, trotted right up to my father’s Armani shoes, lifted her small back leg and wet the bottom part with a bark,” he retold the memory, spluttering again. “My father was so flabbergasted that he didn’t know what to say and simply stood there with peed on pants, speechless. After that, he never again stepped into my part of the apartment, but raved that I shouldn’t let a dog anywhere near the rest of the house.

 

Dave, seriously, calm down. It’s just a carpet and anyway, see it from Trevor’s point of view: he’s inside a brand new house, we completely forgot to take him outside, he must be confused and frightened as it is. It’s not his fault and I don’t mind. Let’s just clean this up and that’s it- no need to make such a fuss, really, it’s no big deal,” he reassured, reaching for a sponge and dipping it into the bucket, set to work on the floor.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave huffed softly as his boyfriend began explaining, feeling a bit better that he could focus on something else than his blush. The blond took in a deep breath as he tilted his head, watching how Jared smiled and laughed - and it actually helped the shorter male relax as well. Seeing the drummer this happy and careless, it was calming in some way. Dave sighed out softly as he took a step back, nibbling on his lower lip as he sighed out softly and shook his head. "But Trev never did this anywhere..." He mumbled out just before Jared began telling about Patty.

 

When he was finished, Dave couldn't help the chuckles that were escaping his mouth. "Wow, that's mean!" He exclaimed with a soft laugh as he shook his head, trying to push away the thoughts of his embarrassment and blush. The young singer let out a soft smile though in his mind he remembered how he begged his own dad for a puppy when he was younger - all he received back then was a slap to his face and the words that 'freaks like you wouldn't be able to even take care of one'. He didn't even realize just how did his sexuality have anything to do with the capability of taking care of pets...

 

Dave sighed softly and smiled as he nodded, his smile now soft. "Yeah, you're right..." He muttered out as he blinked and tilted his head. "Are there any paper towels in the kitchen?" He asked while taking a small step back. "I still want to take this stain out.." He mumbled out softly as he shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, at home Trev knows where to do his business - I guess I should've taken his basket along..."

[Gatichan]

Jared needed a while longer to properly suppress his giggles. Standing up, he kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head as he returned to the kitchen to fetch some paper towels. Returning to hand them to his boyfriend, he got back down on his knees to scrub the carpet. “You should go talk to Trevor when we’re finished here- he still looks positively miserable. Poor little guy.” Scrubbing and using the paper towels that Dave held out to him, Jared had soon cleared away the puddle as best he could. Standing up to fetch the small, special vacuum cleaner that washed carpets, he tossed in some cleaning liquid before turning the vacuum on and dealing with the spot chemically.

 

Washing his hands inside the bathroom with Dave, Jared squirted his boyfriend playfully, grinning. He didn’t like the slight distance in Dave’s eyes and wondered what the reason was that Dave had overreacted the way he had. Recalling how Mary had stressed that it was important to be open between themselves, Jared dried his hands, passing the towel to Dave. “Babe, don’t take this wrong…but why did you get angry with me when I laughed? Did you believe I was actually laughing at you?” Jared asked, his green eyes a little worried- he wanted to clear any misunderstandings out the way.

 

Walking to his bedroom to fetch a CD with music he hoped would also appeal to Dave, he put the radio on and as the music began to play, he clapped his hands. “Any special wishes? What would you like us to eat tonight? I can offer tiramisu for dessert- I made it myself two days ago. We could also drink some wine if you liked- my father has so many bottles inside his wine cellar that he wouldn’t even notice if one were gone.”

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave sighed softly as he quickly dried off the stain and poured some baking soda on top - that should take the stain away completely. He glanced up at Jared as he let out a soft smile and nodded. "Fine, I will~" He said as he stuck out his tongue playfully before heading to his puppy, chuckling softly at the shame in its big, round eyes. "Aww,Trev, it's okay~" He chuckled softly as he leaned down and smiled, closing his eyes and letting out a giggle when he received the wet kiss from his dog - it seemed that it had forgiven his master and himself then.

 

After that, the blond hummed softly as he walked to wash his hands with Jared, gasping softly when the other decided to play - it only earned him a huff and a squirt back. As he took the towel and heard the question, Dave tilted his head to one side and huffed. "Yeah, it seemed so. I mean, I just... I just got so embarrassed! And then you laughed that much - not very helpful, y'know." The singer said with a small pout as he shook his head and smiled. "I just was really surprised at Trev, I guess." He said softly as he smiled and pressed a sweet kiss against Jared's lips. "And this is from him~"

 

Dave followed the dark-haired male back into his bedroom with a soft smile on his face- and his eyes lit up at the other's words. "Tiramisu? I'd love that! But.. Before that... Eh, I don't know, probably everything's fine with me - though I really feel like eating something more vegetarian today." He decided and chuckled as he looked at Jared. "Is that okay?" He asked softly as he gentl slid his arms around the other's neck and let out a hum. "You know, I had a friend some time ago who'd always make tiramisu... She was so nice, a bit like Mary..." The blond sighed out as he rested his head against the other's chest. "I kindda miss her..."

[Gatichan]

Jared kissed Dave’s nose, his eyes understanding. “I don’t mind eating something vegetarian, either. How about we made some Southwestern veggie wraps?” he suggested, opening his freezer to pull out the bag with the tasty wraps. “We can mix ourselves a delicious salad and then each of us can select the vegetables he likes best for the wrap. I also have a small book somewhere in that drawer beside your left elbow about easy-to-make salad dressings,” he recalled, closing the freezer door to open the common fridge. Heaving the entire vegetable try out, he set it down on the table so that Dave could pick some vegetables out.

 

Singing along quietly to the music, Jared nodded as he listened to what Dave said. “You miss her? So she…passed away?” he asked carefully, his eyes watering as he began to chop up an onion. Passing his left hand over his eyes to dry the tears away, he blinked his reddened eyes and then continued to chop away. “Where did you meet her? What was she like?” he asked, eager to find out more about his boyfriend and his life before Requiem. Once their tour kicked off in two day’s time in New York, the only topic on his and the other band member’s minds would be the actual tour. Jared didn’t even want to think about it, but he’d very soon need to start packing

 

Picking up a handful of Indian corn, beans and cut up carrots, Jared walked over to place them inside Trevor’s dish. Deciding that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to arrange more newspapers there as well just in case, he turned to Dave as the CD changed tracks. “How are you feeling about the tour? Is there any city you’re especially looking forward to? It’s going to be our first ever world tour- I’m actually nervous as hell,” he admitted, scratching Trevor’s back before washing his hands to then pick up the lettuce.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave blinked a few times and tilted his head to one side when he heard the suggestion. “I... Have absolutely no idea what those are.“ He said before letting out a laugh and shaking his head. “Really, what are those? Do you, like, make salad and wrap it into those?“ He asked while pointing at the wraps that his boyfriend held. With a soft smile, the young singer leaned down to search for the book Jared mentioned - he soon found it and smiled as he passed it to the other- then turned to pick out vegetables. Dave took out avocados, tomatoes, some cucumber and pursed his lips as he huffed softly. “Do you have tuna?“

 

The singer let out a sad chuckle at Jared's question as he shook his head. “No, I think she's still alive... She moved out when I was around fourteen. Her name was Julia... I met her when I still lived with my parents- I think I was around ten when we first talked. I used to be really shy, actually!“ Dave confessed with a chuckle as he looked at his boyfriend. “She was very nice... I often thought of her as my bigger sister or even a replacement for my own mom.“ His voice became slightly colder, yet far sadder at the same time. “She was also one of the few people who got to know that I was abused at home.“ He said quietly as he let out a small, sad smile.

 

Dave was glad he could turn his thoughts away for the time being when Jared talked about their tour. “I'm really nervous and kindda scared...“ He muttered out with a sigh as he shook his head. “I don't know, I don't think there's any city I really want to visit.“ He admitted with a soft laugh as he smiled and looked at the taller male softly. “And you?“ He asked while tilting his head to one side.

[Gatichan]

It was Dave’s turn to raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Tuna? Babe, I thought you said you wanted to eat vegetarian food. Actually, these are tortilla raps: I usually eat these wraps with salad and minced meat. It’s delicious, even without the meat. That’s why we could use the sauce to give it more taste. If you wanted, we could cook some soy and use that as meat substitution. Tuna…” He made a face. “I’d rather we had real meat, but okay…although, strictly speaking, that would mean our wrap wouldn’t be vegetarian anymore, right?” he pointed out, but dutifully leaned over to pull out a tin of tuna. Opening it first so that Dave wouldn’t run the risk of cutting himself with Jared’s ancient tin opener, he handed it to his boyfriend.

 

Dave’s forehead creased as he began to wash the lettuce leaves he had cut. He didn’t want Dave thinking back to his unhappy childhood, but at the same time he wanted to learn more. The better informed he was about Dave’s past, the easier it ought to become to react whenever he felt his boyfriend’s mood change, right? Watching Dave chopping up the cucumber, Jared bit his lip. Should he ask? Yeah, he should. Dave could always say no if he was getting too personal or felt uncomfortable. “Say, Dave…when did you tell her about…you know…your troubles at home? Did no one ever notice? I find it so difficult to believe and…and it makes me so incredibly angry that no one was able to help you when you would have needed support,” he admitted, reaching over to take Dave’s hand in his.

 

Sensing that perhaps Dave would need an alternative so as not to get lost in the past, Jared turned back to what he was doing. Making sauces wasn’t his specialty, so he had to really follow the instructions by the book. “I’m really looking forward to London. It’s always been my dream to go there and see Big Ben, the London Eye, those famous bridges and churches. Or Paris.” He quietly laughed. “Ever since I watched a film of a couple dancing under the rain on the Champs-Élysées, I’ve been longing to try it out myself…with my partner,” he admitted, meeting Dave’s blue eyes.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave puffed out his cheeks when his boyfriend began questioning tuna. Tuna! "Fine, I can make mine with tuna - I just really like it!" He complained with a pout as he looked at Jared and huffed. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to, sheesh..." The blond muttered out as he took the tuna from the drummer's hands and stuck out his tongue. "I'd be glad to eat more of it myself!" Dave said and soon chuckled before shaking his head. "Really, is it that wrong for me to add tuna to my salad?"

 

His smile soon turned into a slightly sad one when Jared continued asking about Julia. "My father made sure that no one would realize. He also made sure I wouldn't have to have gym classes - you see, whenever he decided to... Teach me, in his words, he would do it where it wouldn't be obvious. Guess he enjoyed me as his little punching bag." Dave said quietly as he let out another soft smile and sighed as he looked at the knife in his hand for a while before continuing to chop the cucumber. "He always made me wear long-sleeved clothing since often my arms and legs were also a bit bruised - I didn't want my friends to see them either, so I just went along with that." The blond said softly as he looked at Jared and smiled.

 

Dave was slowly pulled out of the dark thoughts in his mind when his boyfriend began talking about the tour and the places he wanted to visit. The blond felt a soft blush on his cheeks when the other mentioned Paris and the activity he wished to do - it was so romantic, at least for Dave. "That... That really sounds amazing." He merely said that as he looked away from Jared's green eyes to forget about his embarrassment.

[Gatichan]

“This wasn’t supposed to become a debate on the principles of vegetarianism and pescetarianism,” Jared groaned back, kicking Dave’s bottom lightly. “And I’m only asking, since you said you wanted a vegetarian supper. Oh come on, don’t go all pouty on me, Mr. Pouting-Man. Here,” he said, holding his wrap out with twitching lips. “Put some of your tuna on my one as well…or do I have to beg?” he teased, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend and wiggling it comically.

 

Jared shook his head in disbelief. “Gosh Dave, I’m so sorry. Your father sounds like a nightmare out of hell. I can’t believe that people like that really exist in this world, it’s a total disgrace,” he said, clearly disgusted. Reaching over, he kissed his boyfriend, snuggling closer to the lead singer to offer Dave his body’s warmth. “But you know that those times are over, right? Your father can’t come here to hurt you and I’ll throw myself between you and anyone who tries to hurt you again, I swear it to you.” He kissed Dave’s blond head before slowly removing his arms and taking in a breath, shook his body out. “Gah. Let’s not talk about that monster anymore, okay? Tonight it’s all about us and how much we want to look forward to our mutual future and not the sad past, right? Come on- give me your wrap and I’ll put it into the oven to heat it up,” he suggested, holding his hand out.

 

Dave’s reaction to his words estranged him. Frowning slightly when his boyfriend purposefully looked away, Jared bit his upper lip. “Don’t you…agree? I mean, okay,” he laughed a little self-consciously. “Maybe the part about dancing in the rain is cheesy, but I can’t help feeling that it’s romantic. Do you think it’s stupid? It’s not that I’d force you into doing that with me, don’t worry,” he hastened to assure, although he couldn’t quite hide the disillusionment in his green eyes.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave rolled his eyes and put more than a little on Jared's wrap. "Oh, whoops! Sorry, my hand slipped..." He said with clear teasing in his voice as he chuckled and pecked his boyfriend's lips. "Though I would've loved to hear you beg." The blond said with a wink as he smiled widely and grinned, playfully brushing his teeth over the taller man's earlobe. "I think it would be interesting~" The singer said with a light chuckle as he shook his head and began cutting the vegetables again.

 

The blond let out a soft smile at his boyfriend's attempt on making the talk about his father stop - too bad it wasn't as easy to stop thinking about him. It was a surprise the singer didn't start crying yet - maybe Jared alone gave him the feeling of safety big enough for him to be able to collect himself. Dave sighed out sofly as he cut in some avocados into the salad, then wrapped it up and smiled at Jared before passing him the snack. "Thanks~" He said softly as he reached out and lightly pecked the other's lips. "Look... Could we talk about this more often? I feel like... Like it helps a bit." He said with a bit of an uncertain expression on his face. Maybe he just wanted it to help...

 

Dave blinked a few times and shook his head as he smiled widely. "What? I don't think it's stupid! It's just... It's just, y'know... Romantic..." The singer said softly with the blush returning to his cheeks as he looked away once more. "Embarrassing, too." He admitted before nipping on his bottom lip, a bit too nervous to look at his boyfriend again - oh, he felt like such an idiot right now...

[Gatichan]

Jared pouted now, sniffing so pathetically that he had to laugh at himself. “Well, if you’re going to let me off so easily, you’ll never find out if I’m a good beggar or not,” he chuckled, opening the oven door when it chimed and handing the wrap back to his boyfriend. “Careful Dave- it’s warm. I’ll just warm up my own one and then we could sit down at the counter to eat together,” he smiled, setting the microwave to thirty seconds to give the wrap that perfect touch.

 

Surprised that Dave actually wanted to continue talking about the man who had played such an important role in his boyfriend’s life and who had so badly treated him, Jared nodded sagely. He was afraid that reactivating memories inside his boyfriend would only lead to Dave’s becoming instable again and wanting to hurt himself. Still, if there was a possibility of it helping his boyfriend get over what had happened, then who was Jared to put his foot down and prohibit it? “O-Okay,” he replied instead, removing his wrap and wincing when he burned his hand. Dropping his wrap onto a plate, he joined Dave at the counter after he’d poured them both something to drink. “So…what do you want to tell me? And is there anything I can do to make it easier for you, aside from simply listening?” he wondered.

 

But then, the words Dave had said about his dreamy Paris adventure returned to his mind and Jared raised both eyebrows. “What’s wrong with it being romantic? And why is it embarrassing?” He shrugged. “If I love someone, I couldn’t care less what everyone else thinks. In that moment, I’d be only looking at my loved one and not at the rest of the world. I really want to try it out, but if you’re against it, I’ll respect it…and maybe go dancing alone in the rain,” he finished, but then snorted as he picked up his wrap. “No THAT would sure look weird!”

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave let out a soft chuckle and nodded, carefully sniffing the wrap. "Smells delicious..." He muttered out quietly as he chuckled and shook his head, catching a drop of the sauce which was already falling down. The singer put the finger into his mouth and let out a satisfied sound. "The sauce is so good!" He said with a bright smile as he smiled and plopped down on the chair with a wide smile on his face.

 

When Jared sat down, the blond let out a soft smile and lightly bit the inside of his cheek while thinking. "Easier?... I'm not even sure... I mean, what probably helps the most is... Is when you hold me.." The singer murmured out as he glanced down at the floor, feeling his cheeks once again becoming a light rosy color. "I don't even know where to start, to be honest..." Dave sighed out as he smiled sadly and let out a light laugh while looking at his boyfriend. "Maybe you could just ask me questions?" He asked sofly, hope in his voice.

 

The singer soon bursted out into laughter though - the image of Jared dancing alone in the rain, in Paris had Dave both blushing madly and laughing. He wiped off the small tears that appeared from his crazy laughter and grinned, then took a bite of his wrap, his eyes immediately lighting up. "First, these wraps are amazing. Second, I would absolutely love to see you like that! And third... Since when do you talk like this? You suddenly became a bit cheesy." Dave teased as he chuckled and bit down on his wrap a bit more.

[Gatichan]

Jared smiled as he held onto his wrap. Dave was right- they really were delicious, even the sauce, although the drummer was convinced that had been a simply stroke of luck: sometimes the sauces he made tasted good and other times…well, let’s just say they weren’t always edible. But to Jared, the most important thing happening right there in the kitchen in front of him was the fact that Dave was laughing in a carefree way, bantering and winking and giggling and…and seeming like any normal teenager in love. It was a gift to Jared and impulsively leaning over, he kicked some of the stray sauce on Dave’s hand.

 

Jared stuck his tongue out at Dave. “Call me cheesy and a hopeless romantic, or anything else you want, but I’d be flattered if someone wanted to dance with me in Paris,” he said with mock-haughtiness. And lowering his wrap to his plate, where promptly half the salad fell out, Dave began to dance by himself, pretending to be guiding an invisible partner. He began to hum an old waltz as he turned, in ever larger circles. Trevor began to bark, finding this rather amusing as his tail began to wag hard and Jared grinned, hoping Dave would also laugh. “Oh, très, très chic, mon chéri!” he said in a dreadful French accent.

 

The next question was tricky: his boyfriend wanted Jared to ask him about his father? Those were murky waters and dangerous. Jared feared that if he eventually asked the wrong question, it would damper Dave’s high mood. But he was curious as well as to how Dave’s life had been and taking a large, pensive bite of his wrap, Jared chewed thoughtfully. Eventually, he swallowed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll try. But if at any point you don’t want to answer my questions anymore, just say so, okay?” He waited until Dave had reacted and Jared nodded. “Well…was your father always…violent against you? Or was it something that…began to happen all at once?”

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave chuckled softly as he heard his boyfriend's answer to his comment about being cheesy. “I find it really cute, actually~“ The blond said with a light chuckle that quickly turned into loud laughter as he watched Jared starting to dance. A few happy tears rolled down his cheeks as the singer gasped for air, his laugh loud and cheerful - as if there weren't any worries in the world left. He grinned widely as he shook his head, trying to stop the laughter - though this did ease the mood before they would begin talking about his father.

 

The singer smiled softly as he nodded at Jared's first question and took a small nibble of his own wrap. At the second question, Dave sighed softly and lowered his eyes a bit while nibbling on his lower lip. “He was never violent until I told him I was bisexual. Sure, he may have been grumpy and all, but never did anything more than shouting...“ The blond said quietly, a somewhat longing look in his eyes. “That was up until I was... Twelve, maybe thirteen - I actually realized my sexuality rather early. Of course, I thought it was a good idea to tell my parents - my mom wasn't too pleased either, but... But she still said she'd accept me. Funny how she never stopped dad from doing anything.“ Dave said softly as he bit down on his wrap again.

 

“Talking about my mom... There was one time she tried to protect me. Just one time. And... She ended up in a hospital... My dad was drunk again, and I was close to losing consciousness - though I'm still pretty sure she only tried to help because she didn't want me to die and make her lose reputation.“ The blond said before pursing his lips and looking away. “I'm still not sure who I hated more back then.“ He said with anger in his voice as he bit some more of his snack.

[Gatichan]

Slowing down because he was running out of air, Jared laughed along with Dave. “God, am I thirsty,” he panted, drowning the rest of his apple juice in one gulp before sitting down again. “Maybe I ought to hit the gym before we head over to Paris. I wouldn’t want a fan to see me and then film me with her cell phone and post it on the internet, where everyone would see me fall over and need to get carried off in a stretcher,” he grinned goofily, scraping together his wrap and the salad that had spilled out of it.

 

Jared listened in total silence as he heard what Dave had to retell about his youth. Although he didn’t immediately say it, it sure sounded as if the lead singer’s childhood hadn’t been all too rosy. But if his father was a drunk and had begun to beat him around the age of twelve and his mother was a socialite trying to uphold the image that everything was alright in their family, how happy could Dave had been? Had he possibly always been neglected as a child, with parents who were either too busy to care or nursing a bottle? Jared chewed his bottom lip uneasily. His childhood, up until his parents had divorced, at least, had been a happy one. He’d always got the impression that he was loved – definitely a lot more from his mother than father – but then they’d decided to divorce and Jared’s mother had shown her true colors.

 

“Did you…ever try to hit back?” Jared quietly asked, feeling the mood between him and his boyfriend changing and wishing he could prevent it, but that was unlikely. It appeared that Dave wanted to talk and Jared would rather sit through it and suffer silently for what his boyfriend had been denied than risk Dave closing up and possibly cutting himself again. “I mean, something must have happened for your parents to have allowed you to live on your own, right?”

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

The question that came from his boyfriend made Dave let out a laugh. “Yeah, I tried. Guess how many bones he broke then.“ He said almost coldly as he gripped the glass of juice in both hands. “All I did was push him away lightly... I even tried to ask him to stop - all it earned for me was him beating me down to the floor, he stepped on me, he kicked me so many times I even stopped counting. I had a broken arm and a few fingers and a ton of bruises and various other injuries - I was lucky they decided to take me to a hospital after around a week.“ Dave seemed both close to tears and yelling at the same time as he breathed out shakily.

 

The blond bit down on his lip as he glanced up at his boyfriend and somehow managed a small smile. “They let me live alone when I turned sixteen. I guess I was simply old enough for people not to think anything was wrong with me living alone... And they just used the chance to get rid of trash.“ The singer said quietly as he sighed and pushed the last piece of the wrap into his mouth. His eyes were filled with tears by now, but his expression was hateful. Two emotions that constantly mixed whenever the young singer talked or even thought of his parents.

 

With a long breath, Dave tilted his head and looked straight at Jared. “Can we continue this somewhere else?.. I... I really just need... You to hold me.“ Dave said softly as he kept his eyes locked to the other's green ones. “It helps a lot and... And right now I don't know if I can honestly do any more without cry... Crying.“ His voice shook slightly as he bit down on his lower lip and looked away.

[Gatichan]

Jared’s heart went out to his lover. God, it was awful, worse than he’d already imagined…and as he was learning, Jared had a dreadful imagination, because in his mind Dave’s father had only hit him a few times rally badly, but it was sounding as if that brute had regularly had a go at Dave and probably enjoyed it, that sadistic bastard. Jared’s nostrils flared at the image in his head of a half beaten to death Dave being wheeled into the emergency room of a hospital and of his fake mother claiming, a classical, that he’d fallen down the stairs and that he was just a “clumsy” boy. So much hatred welled up right then inside the drummer’s heart that it was hard to take, let alone stomach. The wrap he’d bitten off inside his mouth became a pack of stones and it cost him a lot not to spit it back out again.

 

When Dave looked him firmly in the eye, Jared found that he couldn’t look away. The worst of it all was that he could pretty well understand how his boyfriend was feeling…except that part about being trash. Squeezing Dave’s hand, Jared shook his head firmly. “You’re not trash, baby. Not anything near that. If you want to call someone trash, then call your parents trash. No one should be discriminated against because of his skin color or sexual orientation. And anyone who needs to use force to win an argument is a loser. I hate your father,” Jared spitted out venomously. “I hate the man who hurt you and who left you believing that you’re not worthy of love or care.”

 

Closing his eyes as his nostrils flared again, the drummer tried to control himself when he heard Dave’s plea. Breathing in and out heavily for a while, he eventually gained control and nodding, stood up as he swallowed down further spiteful words. “You don’t have to apologize, Dave,” e said quietly, taking his and Dave’s plates and leaving them in the sink, took his lover into his arms and kissed Dave’s eyelids tenderly. “Let’s go to bed and just listen to music until we get sleepy, okay? And of course I’ll hold you- you’ll never have to ask me to, because I’ll always want to,” he reminded his boyfriend softly, tightening his arms marginally.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave's eyes watered further when his boyfriend once again assured him that he was not trash. The blond took in a shaky breath as he managed to squeeze out a sad, soft smile and nodded. “You're not the only one... I actually... I actually wish he was dead.“ The young singer said as he bit down on his trembling lower lip and sighed out softly. “Jared... I... I have a younger sister... And I'm just so scared that he might hurt her too...“ He whispered out softly before a few tears rolled down his cheeks. “I know I haven't told you about her- I didn't tell anybody! I don't want... I don't want for people to assume she's like me...“ The teen whispered out softly as he gripped onto his boyfriend and rested his head against his chest.

 

His breathing shook slightly when the other said he'd always want to hold him - at this moment, it meant so much... A soft whimper still left his mouth as he desperately clung onto the drummer, just wanting some warmth - right now he was feeling so cold... “Jared... I-I know this is a crazy request... But... Could we go to my father's house someday?“ He asked quietly, tightly gripping onto the other's shirt. He didn't want to go because of his father - no, he just wanted to make sure that his beloved sister was alright... He wanted to see if he could get her any help. If anything, he wanted to even take her in - Dave could never let his precious sister get hurt.

 

Only when they were both laying on the bed could the blond relax his grip slightly. He snuggled into the other's warmth and closed his eyes as he breathed out shakily. “Her name is Emily... You know, when I got beaten up, she was usually the one who'd try and cheer me up...“ He talked quietly - he knew that Jared would want to know about her more. No one but him knew about Emily - he made sure to hide the fact that he wasn't the only child... If people knew that he was bisexual, they would think that his sister wasn't straight either - he was afraid of ruining her future like this.

[Gatichan]

The revelation that Dave still had a little sister and that she’d had to remain at home with the likes of such a terrible father hit Jared like a wrecking ball. As Dave rested his head against his chest inside the drummer’s bed, Jared was still trying to swallow down these facts and order them inside his brain. It was true, he had never before asked their lead singer if he had any siblings, but somehow, since Dave had never mentioned anyone else, he’d assumed that Dave had been an only child like he was. Jared found it quite hard to bend his mind around this piece of news.

 

When Dave first suggested their returning to his father’s house, Jared’s first impulse was to acerbically reply with “Sure; I’ll go buy myself a machine gun and then we can head over”. In the tense way he was right then, it wouldn’t have been a good idea to head over again anytime soon. And at the same time, Jared had serious doubts about Dave’s being able to rescue his sister from their violent father. But he knew that that was just about the last thing that his boyfriend would want to hear from Jared right then.

 

“If you think that I could be of any help and not make the situation even worse by going with you to your parent’s house, I’ll definitely go with you, baby,” Jared solemnly promised Dave, kissing the lead singer’s blond hair. “I hope Emily is alright. Do the two of have a way of keeping in contact? I mean…does she have an email address or cell phone number you could use to contact her without your parents finding out? Or have the two of you stopped keeping in contact because your parents already found out?” he gulped, not wanting to imagine how Dave’s father might have possibly punished his daughter.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave sniffled softly as he let out a sad smile and his grip on the other's shirt only tightened. “Thank you...“ He muttered out quietly as he buried his face into the other's chest. “I can't stand the thought of her being with my father... Jared... I want to take her live with me.“ He said almost firmly - if his voice hadn't shook at the end of the sentence, he would've sounded firm and certain. “I mean... I'm of the age now, I could definitely take her live with me... She could go to school properly, she would have friends...“ The blond said softly as he wiped off the tears and let out a smile. “I want her to live a normal life.“

 

The blond let out a small, soft sigh as he shook his head slightly at the question. “Even if she does have anything, I don't know... When we lived... Well, when we were together, we didn't have phones or anything like that and I didn't even get the computer at all - Emi got a few hours after she showed that she did her homework to mom.“ As the singer said this, a soft smile appeared on his face and he snuggled close to his boyfriend. “I sometimes asked her to search for something for my school, and there wasn't even one time she didn't do it.“ He said softly as he smiled and closed his blue eyes. Clearly, his sister only brought happy memories to Dave...

 

The slightly shorter male looked up at the other as he nuzzled his head against his chest. “I'm pretty sure she'd like you... You make me happy, and her top priority was seeing me happy - kind of weird when you think about it!“ The blond said with a light chuckle. It seemed that talking about his sister pushed away the bad thoughts about his father and the beatings... Though he still didn't want for Jared to let go. This was far too nice to stop...

[Gatichan]

Jared smiled, but there was a trace of sadness in his green eyes. Dave wanted his sister to live a normal life? How normal a life could he offer her if he was the lead singer of a band that was very close to gaining international fame? A normal life in the shadow of such a famous brother would be anything but easy. Or realistic. But a part of Jared understood Dave: his boyfriend wanted Emil to grow up with someone who loved her and with someone she wouldn’t have to fear would castigate her with blows that would scar her the way she was surely living at the moment with Dave’s father.

 

“It might be a long and difficult road to get the custody for your sister,” the drummer carefully cautioned, but not wanting to dishearten his boyfriend, he entwined his fingers with the hand that Dave had placed over his chest. Raising it to his lips, he kissed it. “But I’ll see what I can do to help you. Surely our management will be able to offer us some help in finding the best lawyers to support our case…” Although it was also likely that their manager would want to know what reasons Dave would have to want to separate his sister from his parents. And when that question was asked, Dave at the latest would have to confess the hell he had been through. Not wanting his boyfriend to reach that conclusion just yet, Jared snuggled closer to Dave. “Tell me more about your sister. What does Emi look like?”

 

It was probably the first time that Dave had ever confided in someone like this before. Jared felt proud and at the same time touched that his boyfriend would open up and confess the existence of his sister to him. That was a sign of trust on Dave’s part, surely? Continuing to kiss Dave at odd intervals, Jared smiled softly. He could get used to spending his nights like this- just him and Dave, Trevor dozing near their feet, no outside world to bother them, just the two of them, talking and being close…

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave smiled sadly as he nodded and sighed. “I'd do anything to get her to live with me... Anything's better than living with our father.“ He said quietly as he sighed and smiled softly at what his boyfriend said next. “I really hope they will understand... But... Jared, do you think they'll want to know why?“ He asked quietly, his voice shaking the slightest bit. “Do you... Do you think I'll have to tell them about what he did?...“ The blond questioned quietly as he gripped onto the other. “Will you help me tell them if I have to?“ He asked softly as he looked up into Jared's green eyes and the hint of sadness in them, immediately feeling bad himself. “Sorry, I shouldn't... You already did so much...“ Dave said softly and smiled.

 

The singer smiled softly at the question and snuggled up closer to the taller male. “The last time I saw her she had long, dark brown hair that she used to wear in a high ponytail, and cute bangs...“ He said with a light chuckle. “She always complained about how she wants to get rid of them because they prevented her from seeing everything, but secretly she'd always admire them in a mirror~“ Dave said with a soft smile as he closed his eyes. “Her eyes are the same blue as mine, but... I always thought hers were more beautiful... You know, she has those long, long eyelashes - whenever she wanted something, she'd make the best puppy eyes!“ The sentence ended with a soft laugh from the young male as he smiled.

 

“She has pale skin and, well, she's a bit of a shorty. I used to call her shrimp...“ Dave chuckled once more as he shook his head. “For some reason, Emi really liked to borrow my sweaters - she looked really cute and a bit funny in them, but... But I could never say no. Whenever I gave her something, she'd be so happy..“ He said with longing in his voice as he sighed out and lightly nuzzled his head into the other's warm body. “I miss her...“ The singer muttered out softly as he opened his eyes and looked up at Jared before planting a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you so much for saying you'll go with me... I'd be scared to go alone...“ He said quietly.

[Gatichan]

Something caught in Jared’s throat when his boyfriend realized that by attempting to save his sister, he was possibly going to open up his own wounds and disclose the terrible things that had happened to him. But seeing the desperation in those blue eyes and the need to help his sister, placing her wellbeing above Dave’s, Jared swallowed down the lump. Blinking to remove the overwhelming sadness he felt for the lead singer, his eyes filled anew, this time with deep respect. “Yes, you don’t even need to ask, Dave. Of course I’ll help you. We’re in this together.”

 

Jared couldn’t help but snort out an amused laugh at the nickname. Okay, so “shrimp” wasn’t the sweetest of all nicknames, but somehow, since it came from Dave, it was endearing. And from his boyfriend’s descriptions, Jared thought he had a pretty good picture of what the younger sister was like. “I really would like to meet her,” he said, yawning behind his hand and sitting up, carefully leaned forward to pick Trevor up. Giving the puppy a goodnight kiss, he passed the sleeping dog over to his boyfriend so that Dave could also say goodbye to him. Leaning over the side next, Jared carefully placed the puppy inside his little basket and scratching Trevor over his small curved back, he yawned again.

 

Planting a loving kiss on Dave’s upturned face, Jared smiled sleepily. “Stop thanking me, Dave. That’s what having a partner means: we’re there for each other and to hold each other’s backs through thick and thin. And now,” he admonished, tugging at the bedspread until he’d freed it to be able to tuck Dave in. “We really should get in some hours of sleep. Tomorrow we’re leaving for our world tour and I haven’t even packed my bags.” Turning to his bedside table, he set his alarm clock before stifling a further yawn and lying down, snuggled closer to Dave. “Would you mind if we spooned? I’d really like to hug you when I sleep,” he admitted sleepily as he brushed Dave’s bangs out his eyes.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Dave smiled softly as he let out a soft chuckle and nodded. “I'm sure she'd love to meet you too...“ He said softly, with a bit of a sleepy smile on his face. The blond chuckled softly as he pecked Trevor's stout gently, letting out a giggle when he decided to lick back. The young singer smiled as he watched how Jared set his puppy down to the basket and sighed. “Jared... We said that we'd practice...“ Dave said quietly before shaking his head. “Though maybe not... Sleep is probably a better option...“

 

The blond smiled softly as he snuggled into the other and chuckled. “I can't believe it's already tomorrow...“ He muttered out softly as he smiled. “You'll have to drop by at my house... My bags are packed and ready, thank god!“ Dave joked as he smiled and closed his eyes, pulling the blanket over himself so that only his forehead and nose were sticking out. He truly hated getting cold, especially in his sleep! Having someone with such a warm body as Jared was great...

 

Dave chuckled softly and nodded at the silly question. “Do you really think I'd refuse? You're warm...“ He smiled softly as he chuckled. The singer let out a soft sigh as he snuggled into the other's warmth. “Jared... I think I'll still take my... Tools. I can give them to you, but... But I just don't think I'll feel okay without them...“ The singer almost whispered out with shame and guilt on his face. “I'm sorry...“ He said softly and closed his eyes tightly.

[Gatichan]

Jared nuzzled his nose against Dave’s blond hair, finding it harder and harder to make cogent sentences. The day had been rather long and an emotional rollercoaster. He hoped that not every day between him and the lead singer would be like that: there had been lust, there had been tears, fear, anger and much sadness, but also moments when they had both laughed, like back there in the kitchen. Shaking his head, he switched the light off on his bedside table. “We can always practice in the back of the tour bus. I honestly couldn’t coordinate my arms right now,” he admitted with a further yawn.

 

Jared smiled as he embraced Dave from behind. His boyfriend’s bottom wiggled up against his groin and the drummer purred contentedly. Yes, he could certainly get used to falling asleep this way. But just then, Dave went and opened his mouth and ruined the moment as he brought the conversation back to his utensils. A shadow fell over Jared’s face and he chose not to say anything. Instead, he concentrated on his breath and tried his hardest to keep it even, seeming as if he were already asleep. How could Dave call those horrible razor blades his “tools”? Tools were useful things that one used to work with, to construct things- things that were good and not self-destructive.

 

All at once, Jared was wide awake. Long after Dave had fallen asleep, Jared lay there behind him, feeling his boyfriend’s body rise and fall rhythmically, but no sleep found him. On the contrary- the longer he remained awake, the more tense he became. Finally giving up trying to find sleep, Jared slipped out the bed and quietly opening his cupboards, began to drag clothes out by the armful. Carrying them and then shoes out into his studio, he was about to close the door when he heard a soft whine. Looking down, he was surprised to find Trevor looking up at him sadly. Leaning over to pick him up, Jared kissed the puppy’s head. “Why did your master have to go and be so troubled?” he sighed before closing the door and then turning around to pack his suitcase.