Rika'ai Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I remember it vividly. Sleeping, so well aware how far away in dreamland I was. He was sitting next to me, we were talking, talking it all through, then he gestured, for me, for a hug. I thought my heart would break. Tentatively I leaned in to hug him, this man that had swept my world away, held me gently to the ground when I felt my mind break, this man that had turned his ugly, hideous side to me when I had told him my decision. This man that still holds my heart.... I leaned my head back, sneaking for a subtle kiss. It was as awkward as that first kiss so many years ago. And just as sweet. I remember smiling in my sleep and thinking What the hell is going on here? When did we get in touch? - Is he mine now? - For always, now? Sounds and voices from outside woke me. I blinked my eyes open and felt the tears flow down my cheeks. I was surprised by my own reaction. Not thought of him in so many months, and now, here, in my most vulnerable time I was dreaming of him, and not the girl who tore out my heart and spat on it.... I loved her, at some point, then it was more loving to be inlove... I chose to break it off. It's not fair keeping someone, if you do not truly love them. But I may have been too hasty... I lost more than I bargained for. In the end, she chose to throw it all back in my face, despite saying things like We can still be friends, just a different kind of friends, no we wont have the friendship we once did, but maybe we'll have something better. For us I mean. Stupid blonde. I believed her. And here I sit, crying on the inside, raging and fuming so badly. And all over it is covered up in numbness. And then I dream of him.... The man I actually could see myself getting old with. World, your cruelty... It must have an end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I sat on the stairs, alone and in the dark. The sky was clear and the moonlight bright. I looked up, watching the stars wink at me. I let out a sigh, feeling myself drift deep into thought. Asking myself if anyone has missed my annoying self for the past month. Having no way to keep in touch with the true friends I hold dear to my heart. The wondering filled my soul with anticipation and heartache. Feeling as though those people are better off forgetting about me. Especially the one person, whom my heart still held on to. Picturing their beautiful face, I fight back the tears that try to force their way out of my eyes. Are they seeing the sky as I do tonight? Do they even have a flicker of thought about me? Maybe they have true happiness without me in the way. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of my heartbeating fast in my chest. Controlling my emotions, I clinch my fists. Wanting to smash my chest open and ripping my heart out, I choose to dig my fists into my thighs. Eyes open now, looking at the sky one last time, I have a wave of calmness wash over my body. I stand up, wipe the back of my pants off and walk down the darkness in the hallway. Door opens and I slowly walk inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 *hugs many warm hugs to Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. * I'd sit there on the stairs with you, if it'd make you feel a bit better. *small smile* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 Bitter sweet is the memory. You spent so much time with me, telling me the lame cliché pick-up line "you're my own personal brand of heroine, if I don't get my daily doses, I'll go nuts", and I believed you. You had me fluttering like a mindless butterfly, hanging on every word you said. You showered me with attention, presents and sweetest words. You made me more hot then I can remember, you did so much more... Yet it was so easy... So easy to just let me go, ignore me... Forget me. But didn't I mean the world to you... You made yourself mean the world to me, with the way you spoiled me so thoroughly... ------------------------ We never argued, never yelled. We were always capable of sitting down and talk calmly and adult-like, about everything. Whenever my mood swings, or my depression threatened to pull me off my fragile cliff, you were there to simply smile, and by that, calm me completely. You were so adult, so manly! Wanting to know more of the world, to better help the world, by being a soldier. Protect the weak, learn cultures and such. You amazed me. To meet someone like you, who was able to find the fun in going to an amusement park and trying all the rides, even the slow ones... Especially if they had dark tunnels, and a possibility to hold hands, and maybe kiss undisturbed... ---------------- But it seems, I am the one who ruins it. My decisions are bad for me, as well as my partner.... Wouldn't it be good, if one could just stay in the background, be someones inspiration, and not be at all, the rest of the time? I'd want this, if this was possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 How come, no matter what I do or say or believe in, it's wrong... It's no good, I should stop, or I'm an idiot for seeing things through my view... Trying to explain what I feel and why... I should just stop. No one cares anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Sometimes everything seems so clear, like looking through crystal. The light touches your face and you can taste happiness in your throat. Dancing around the open reality before you, nothing can hinder your heart. Dark clouds gather above you, in the crimson sky. Acid rain washes over you, causing your delicate flesh to burn. Closing your eyes and praying that it will pass, you fall into a hole filled with maggots of yesturday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 I wish the sun and the moon would turn around you and the stars would fall from heaven above, straight down on you I wish you would open your eyes and see me stand by your side smiling and loving you hoping you will too you see, everything you do, I adore everything you say, I treasure and everything you give I take in hope of you'll do the same But nothing ever happens unless you love me too So just open your eyes and see me there being by your side Please open your eyes see me now with your heart and soul hear me saying that: I love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 It's an ancient game you play with me like the wind plays with the snow in the mountains or like the full moon plays with the madman or the cat, playing with the mouse or rat. My need for harmony is so extreme that you can rip me in half by your deafening silence alone your hinted pauses your stinging hesitation All you don't say or do. You let me see a hint of warmth a hint of light a piece of a melody you never follow through on. You show me pictures of chopped off flowers that you throw before the sun. They are omens about the cold and the darkness you're going to push me out into if you do not choose to lift me up to make me into a shooting star by your side together with all the other blissful heavenly bodies you have brought out of orbit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. Yummy! You and your delicious pictures! *stares and drools, again* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Admittedly, He -is- handsome, sexy, hot and so much more. And *flutters like a butterfly - all shyly* He's born the same year as me *smelts happily* Oh, oh, oh, oh! You should peak at the pictures I uploaded, if you like this... *giggles and bounces onwards* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Oh man....I'm gonna go take a peep at them now. Now I know to shower you with pictures and gifs of him when I get my laptop. Makes me happy! *smiles like a child* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 YAYS!!! :leaf15::leaf3::leaf13:leaf3:leaf13::leaf3::leaf15: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. I liked the pictures you have in your album. I made one for Kyo. My sweetheart Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. loves him too *drools at the thought of both men dancing sexy* Oi!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dev Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. Hai for when you're back to see this! XD Waiting patiently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuCassy Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika'ai Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I came across this and watched it one more time. Still leaves me crying for the girl... All that hardship, just for loving someone outside the norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueNeon Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links. I saw the video. Despite the fact that it illustrates the sexual orientation discrimination -a tragic subject(not tragic enough to make me cry though,but still tragic)-,the idea is really cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dev Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 This Sloth is hilarious! I don't know if I should be laughing or be concerned or both XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dev Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 If you are Hindu and/or understand some Punjabi you will find this funnier than most people XD I found is hilarious!!! It is SO true for Indian people! 1:32 ~ 1:40 and 3:04 onwards cracked me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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