Lost in Love [Bellala99 & Keru-chan]

[Keru-chan]

The soft chuckle that left his boyfriend made him frown and then cross his arms over his chest. "What's so funny with me liking that song? I have changed too y'know". He drew a deep breath and then exhaled in a sigh. Nowadays he tried not to listen to any sad songs. It made him depressed. Then he vaguely smiled as his boyfriend answered on his question. Yellow, huh? Almost what he had expected. It was really a answer that seemed like Akano.

 

He drew a hand through his blonde hair and then straightened his back. "P.S I love you" he immediately said and looked at his boyfriend with a very serious face. Even though he tried to nit listen to songs that were sad he could still not release the books and movies. They were too, familiar. One of the few things that actually could bring him to the verge of crying.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano laughed softly and nodded, grinning a bit goofily. "Yeah, yeah, we both change." He teased with a smile as he looked at the other. Yukio looked so cute when angry... Well, obviously, until his anger became actually serious. He hated seeing his boyfriend really angry... Honestly, it made him scared.

 

The red head smiled softly as he heard the answer and chuckled once more. "I see... So romantic of you~" He teased with a smile and shook his head, chuckling to himself. Now he had to find out somehow if the blond had the book or not... Well, for now he'd just wait for his question. Hopefully, it wasn't too serious... He didn't really want to ruin this light atmosphere just yet. Anything that had something to do with either his past relationships or the wheelchair would immediately make things worse... But he couldn't avoid it forever.

[Keru-chan]

The young student's face soon brightened as his boyfriend smiled and then with a light familiar chuckle that lightly teased him with a couple of words. He loved seeing Akano smile. It felt so warm. So peacefully, it was like he could feel at ease just by seeing that small curve that his lips formed. Yukio slightly tilted his head to the right and then looked at the other one with a curious glance in his light blue eyes. "So..What is your absolute favourite memory?". He knew he couldn't ever hope for it to be a moment between them but still. He wanted to know.

 

Then, in that moment his phone suddenly vibrated in the back of his pocket on his jeans and the sound of a piano broke the silence. Yukio rose from his sitting position to then take up the phone and frown. "Onii-chan..?" He quietly mumbled and it looked like he were slightly confused when he raised the phone to his ear and gave his boyfriend an excusing glance before walking away. "What do you want?" He said, rather annoyed as the bright voice answered him in the other end. "Oh nothing, just wanted you to know that I'll come to where you are and celebrate your birthday on Friday~!". Yukio's face dropped as his brither hung up on him with a high pitched goodbye. Thereafter he returned to the living room while worryingly walking back and forth. "No no no no no..." he said and then a abruptly stopped and turned to his boyfriend and grabbed his hands. "Uh..eh..I'll stay at your place from this day and onward and if this number calls you" he showed his brother's number. "Don't answer or tell your address okay?".

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

As Akano tried to think of the favorite memory, a frown formed on his face. Yukio walked off to have some phone call. The red head huffed softly - and realized that he usually did the same thing. His golden eyes soon turned to gaze down as he sighed and shook his head. Truly, what an idiot boyfriend he was... He didn't even realize just how annoying phonecalls like this were. This was probably how Yukio felt all the time...

 

When the blond returned, Akano watched him for a while with raised eyebrows. Right, left, right, left, right, left, stop. He looked at his boyfriend with eyes that demanded explanation - and instead got a few, uhm, orders. "Uhh... Okay...?" Akano answered in confusion as he reached out and cupped the other's face gently. "Hey, who was that? Is everything alright?" He asked softly, worry in his eyes and voice.

[Keru-chan]

The boy couldn't help but froze as the other one reached out for him in a gentle gesture. Thereafter he sighed and put on a vague smile like it was nothing. Which it clearly wasn't. His brother that works as a detective was not only supporting his parents but he was also overly attached to him and had somewhat of a little brother complex. Yukio didn't hate him though, he was only...slightly annoying at some times. "Nothing at all, it's just.." he got quiet and looked down at the floor. "Nothing..Just don't answer okay?".

 

The student sunk back in the sofa. Had he time to pick up some stuff at home? Did Naoto already know where he lived? Or was it already too late to escape him?

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano frowned deeply and shook his head while his gaze became firmer and he huffed. "Tell me. Now." He said somewhat coldly as he crossed his arms and pursed his lips. The red head sighed out as he rolled closer to his boyfriend, blocking his way so he couldn't even stand up. "Like hell you're keeping something away from me. Tell me now, else I really won't let you get off this sofa."

 

The DJ kept his arms crossed as he waited, his expression clearly showing that he wasn't joking around. Something, or someone, was making Yukio feel bad... Or even hurting him! Dammit, if it wasn't anything serious, he could let it slide. But not now, not when it was like this... It had to be something serious, he just knew it.

[Keru-chan]

Somewhat surprised, Yukio raised his left eyebrow and then stared at his boyfriend who had blocked his way by rolling closer with the wheelchair. He did certainly not want to bother him with such a trivial problem as his brother. Besides, since Akano had forgotten his birthday it would only bother him if he told him now. He would surely feel bad and that was the last thing he wanted Akano to feel. It wasn't his fault after all. Lots of things had happened recently and that was it. "Akano.." he mumbled and then began to gently rub his temples. "It's nothing important I promise..!". But apparently his boyfriend wouldn't let him off the hook today. He sighed and then frowned. "Okay okay, I will tell you but as I said it's nothing to worry about. My brother is probably gonna come" he said without even mentioning the fact that he stood on his parents side. Well if they were lucky the week would proceed without any problems. "I'm just a little worried since it has been a while since I last saw him, that's all. Don't wanna make anything mistakes y'know".

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano huffed as he kept his arms crossed, a frown plastered on his face. "I'm not taking this bullshit." He said quietly, clearly serious. "You wouldn't be this worried about just your brother coming.. And I haven't even heard about your brother! Why would you hide that from me?" He questioned, something close to hurt in his voice. "Yukio... Is there something you're not telling me?" The red head asked softly as he reached out and gently took both of the blond's hands into his own.

 

His golden eyes showed worry as he gripped the hands and let out a small smile. "Come on, you can trust me... Please?" His voice slowly quieted down - now he was just asking for it, not wanting to force the other any more than he already has.

[Keru-chan]

A rather tired sigh left the student's lips as his boyfriend continued to insist that something was wrong. Akano knew him too good for his own best. Yukio drew a deep breath and then raised his light blue gaze to the red haired man. With a slightly cold glance in his eyes as he was reminded about the incident with Akano's ex-girlfriend. "Well apparently you doesn't want to tell everything about yourself so why would I bother you with telling every little detail of my life?". But as fast as he words had left his lips he regretted having said it. "Sorry..." he drew a hand through his hair. "I will tell you so please forget that I even said that. My brother stands on my parents side, which means he will probably try to separate us. I just don't want that to happen because I'm not sure if I can stand breaking up with you again". He bit down on his lower lip and looked away. "No more secrets okay? I don't want anything to keep us apart anymore" he leaned forward and hugged his boyfriend tightly.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano's breath got caught up in his throat when he heard the quite cold words coming from his boyfriend... But he was right. So right it hurt... His golden eyes slowly turned down to the ground as he bit his lip, guilt and shame shown clearly on his face. The red head nodded lightly at what Yukio said next, but didn't even move to hug him back at first, until he finally brought his arms around the thin waist and pulled him close, burying his head into the other's shoulder. That whole ex-girlfriend thing ruined everything... It was the cause of everything! Akano's breathing shook slightly as he closed his eyes tightly, unable to say a single word. It was his fault... Everything was his fault. He didn't really intend to hide that - but why tell something that could possibly ruin their relationship? At least, that was what he thought back then.

[Keru-chan]

The lack of a response from his beloved boyfriend made him unsecure. But he didn't want to let go. Not yet. Not until he had gotten some kind od reaction from Akano. He had always been afraid that his boyfriend would leave him. And it had happened once. Never, ever did he want to feel like that again. Lonely, crushed and completely lost. That pain that he felt at that moment couldn't be described in words. Not even today could he say exactly how it had felt. To prevent feeling that pain again he had promised himself to protect this relationship. With all of his heart. He wouldn't let anyone destroy it, not even his family.

 

After a while a pair of strong arms was lifted to his waist and he was pulled closer as his lips was curved in a small quivering smile. "But we don't have to say everything now, one step a time is enough". Yukio said that because he himself would probably not be able to take everything in and so that Akano wouldn't feel any pressure. They had to take it in their own time and proceed with the way they already knew that it worked. Otherwise they would break.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano nodded a bit shakily as he held the other tightly to himself, his eyes closed tightly so not even a single tear would escape. Yukio had seen enough of his tears already... The red head took in a deep, shaky breath as he slowly pulled away and smiled, gently letting his thumbs stroke the younger man's waist. “I love you...“ He whispered out quietly as he pulled the blond down a bit to lightly kiss his lips.

 

Akano closed his eyes again for a short moment as he squeezed out a smile. “Well... What should I start with?..“ He asked quietly, now ready to tell Yukio everything - only excluding the treatment and Friday's party. “The fact that I dropped out of high school? That I'm bisexual? All of my exes? My parents?“ The DJ questioned quietly, somewhat unsurely as he looked away. “I keep on telling you that you could find someone much better than me... Why won't you listen?“

[Keru-chan]

The younger one held his boyfriend tightly and only loosened on his grip when the other one began to pull away. Only to give him a vague smile. The student answered with a very kind and caring smile as his heart then jumped over a beat when those words left the other one in a soft whisper. "I love you too.." He managed to say before their lips met. Oh, how long had it been since he had experienced this kind of feeling? How long had it actually been since Akano had kissed him? It felt like it had been forever.

 

Yukio slowly sunk back on the sofa when the kiss was over to then let his gaze rest over his boyfriend. So, here they finally were. He had so many questions he wanted the other one to answer. So many that he didn't really know where to start. And it was then it hit him. He didn't know that much about Akano. The blond swallowed and then gently gripped his boyfriend's hand and smiled. "Because I love you Akano, that's why I don't listen". He took in a deep breath. "Start from the beginning please". He was prepared for it. Prepared to know the life of his beloved.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano's breathing hitched as he looked down at the floor while biting his bottom lip. "You think I'm worthy of your love? Moron, all I do is cause pain to you..." He muttered out - though the word 'moron' came out far more lovingly than it was supposed to. The red head could never be angry or anything even close to that at his boyfriend...

 

"There's not so much to tell, actually. My father was an alcoholic narcoman, also abusive at my mom... You have no idea how many times I thought about killing myself. Almost each day when I got back from school I was starving, often I got beat up until I ran away. Just couldn't take it anymore..." Akano began, keeping his eyes down while his hands cleanched the handles of the wheelchair. "I got a small apartament in the city, where a kind woman rented me a room. I continued school but never finished high school... My dad took me back. Then I found music, I hid myself in it..." He murmured out as he rubbed his eye slightly before slowly rolling up one sleeve to show the scars on his upper arm. "You asked me often about these. I did try to kill myself, anything would've been better than living with him."

[Keru-chan]

A vague, rather sad smile appeared on Yukio's lips as he observed his boyfriend. Heard him say those words. Listened to the sound of his voice. What would he do without him? "Idiot...You are more than what you think" he softly whispered out and gently stroked Akano's. Then it all began. He didn't know what he had expected. And even though it felt good to finally know more about him it was at the same time painful to imagine all the hardships his boyfriend had been through. And still he could smile after all of this. How? How was he able to do that? The student drew a quivering breath as the story continued. About his father. And that he had found an apartment. But as everything this story had an end to. And it ended with Akano showing the scars on his upper arm. Yukio's heart sunk as he heard the reason behind the scars.

 

After it Akano had gotten quiet he didn't know what to say. What would be appropriate to say after hearing such a story? What did Akano need in this situation. The student lowered his gaze and thought about it. Then he took Akano's hand. Softly. And like that he stayed. Quiet. Holding his boyfriend's hand with a sad expression on his face. "H..How can you still smile after all of that?" He looked at him as his grip hardened, but only slightly. "You are really strong Akano. And even though it is painful to know how much you have been through..even though I wish I would have been there for you. I can't really do anything for you can I? Still I say I love you and that I care for you. Sometimes I feel so useless. But even so, after having heard this it feels like I'm able to understand you a little more. That I have come closer to you, and that makes me really happy. I'm sorry that your father was the way he was. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much painful things without anyone. I guess all I want to say is that I'm here for you Akano, now and forever more" he smiled, sadly at the other one.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano let out a small chuckle as he brought their combined hands to his lips and gently kissed Yukio's, closing his eyes for the moment. "You help me smile, Yukio." He said softly, opening his eyes soon to look at his boyfriend lovingly. "I can actually forget about what happened before when I'm with you... Thank you for staying, thank you for keeping me alive." The red head said quietly as he smiled softly and looked up at the blond gently.

 

"You're not useless." He said simply as his grip tightened. "Simply the fact that you're here is enough to make me want to live! You're... You're amazing, Yukio. I don't know where I would be without you... Without the fact that you love me. I keep on repeating that you should find someone else, but, I don't want that! No one before loved me like you do..." Akano whispered out softly as he kissed the other's hand again and let out a sad, soft smile. "No one else made me this happy to just be alive..."

[Keru-chan]

His eyes became teary. His breaths became slightly shaky and the student quickly raised his arm to cover his now closed eyes. Yukio clenched his teeth and tried to suppress the tears that threatened to show themselves. Then he cried out like a kid and threw himself forwards to hug his boyfriend. It felt nice to know that he cherished him. That he loved him just as he loved Akano. At that night when the read head had said that it was best to break up he had thought that Akano didn't love him. That everything they had been through wasn't important according to his heart. But now, he could be at ease. "Why you...?" He mumbled under his breath that constantly hitched. "Why just you..? Why not me? Why did it have to be you..?" He continjed as his grip tightened. If he hadn't been that childish that night. If he only had stayed in the cinema. Not dragged Akano away. Then everything would be fine. Alright. Everything..would be alright."Sorry...I'm sorry.." he whispered and took in a deep breath.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano's eyes widened momentarily before he smiled softly and gently hugged the other, closing his eyes for the time being. He gently rocked the other in his arms, lightly kissing Yukio's forehead as he let out a few soft hums. The questions got a small chuckle out of him as he smiled softly and hugged the younger one tighter. "Shhh... Yukio, it's all fine... Baby, come on, don't cry..." He whispered softly, gently stroking the blond hair - he felt like taking care of a small child right now... "It's not your fault, I swear... Yukio, baby, come on..." He whispered quietly while holding the other close, gently and carefully, as if afraid he was going to break. "Let's just forget about all that for now... We can pretend that nothing changed... I still love you, I still want you with me..." The red head said softly as he smiled and kissed the younger one's cheek softly.

[Keru-chan]

He wanted to stop crying. He didn't want to be weak but tbe tears just continued to come out. All of the sad and worrisome feelings just poured out of his heart and entered the world in the form of his tears. It made his heart sting of pain because he hated to cry in front of anyone and especially Akano. But it felt good too. Those little but meaningful things Akano did to him was enough for the loud cry to become quier sobs and hitched breaths as he wiped his wet cheeks dry with his shirt. "Sorry.." he smiled and let out a short laughter. "They just suddenly came out..." he drew away slightly and looked in his boyfriend's eyes. "I'm okay now. Ah, sometimes I'm so weak. It feels like I can start crying because of the smallest things, I wish I could be more like you Akano. Strong and happy and simply beautiful" he gently stroked his boyfriend's cheek as his gaze followed his own hand. "I even have a good life but still..When I hear you telling me these things and I imagine it I can't stop thinking why it is so unfair. 'Why do you get so many hardships and obstacles in your life?' I think. And then I think about how much you probably suffered from it all and then I just wanna cry". Yukio drew a deep shaky breath and then kept the smile on his lips.

 

After a while when he had calmed down he spoke once again. "So...I should probably get my stuff. You don't happen to know if Bob can drive me home and back?".

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Akano kept a tight hold on Yukio as he cried, gently rocking the smaller body in his arms. He had his own golden eyes closed as he let out a few hums and smiled, gently kissing his boyfriend's head. A soft chuckle left his lips at the rather silly words of the blond as he smiled softly. "Don't worry, baby, you know I'll always hold you when you cry... There's nothing to be sorry for..." He muttered out quietly as he opened his eyes to look at the young student while smiling. "Why would you say that? I'm not that strong... Besides, Yukio, if you were weak, you wouldn't even be here." He said quietly as he sighed out and gently kissed the shorter man. "What I suffered is nothing... You really shouldn't be worried about me that much, sweetie, I promise... I'll be fine."

 

His strong hands stayed on Yukio's smaller body as he nodded at the words and smiled. "Sure, there shouldn't be a problem with that." He said quietly as he smiled and gently pecked the other's cheek. "I think he's in the kitchen, why don't we go and check?" The red head offered with a smile before turning around his wheelchair and moving off to the kitchen. He wouldn't know what to do if Yukio started crying again... He never was good with dealing with tears. Or sadness in general, to be honest. Once they reached the kitchen, Akano smiled warmly at Bo who was making some snacks before quickly explaining the situation - of course, the older male agreed on helping out.

[Keru-chan]

Hold him when he cried. That if he were weak then he wouldn't even be there. What did that exactly mean? That night when they had broke up, at home watching a movie. Akano had always been there for him. And he had cried in front of him countless of times. Though Akano had only cried once. Once. At thid moment Yukio felt that it was better to just stop. Stop everything he was doing. He knew that Akano didn't like sadness. He was too bright for that. The blonde exhaled and nodded, noticed the slight headache that all the tears had resulted in. Today, from today and onwards he would never cry again.

 

The student followed his boyfriend out to the kitchen where Bo without a second thought, agreed. Yukio gave him a quick explanation where he lived and then Bo went to get his car. Standing in the door opening he put on his jacket and shoes. "I'll leave now, don't do anything stupid". Then he walked up to the car and opened the door and sunk down on the seat. Endure, endure it all. That was what he was going to do. He had to stop thinking about himself so damn much. And with that he left his new home behind.