18+ Saturn

[Saturn]

i dream of keiv yesterday. i pick him up after his school. he smiles at me. i'm awake smile sayin "thankyou" between that realm ~ Saturn

aw, did u masturbate after ?~ Meridianna

shut up

 

 

warning

rating: 18+

sexual content, strong language, vulgarity

 

CHAPTER 9 - Cigarates & wishes

 

Summary: 2010, he losin his control on his bed. i .. surrender

Status: Ongoing

 

 

my heart melt by your warmth

put ur weight on me and i'll carry your days

point whoever hurts you and i'll torture em

 

 

this is

 

a two way street

 

 

between his fingers

 

freedom

 

 

between our breath

 

liberation

 

 

out of this room are just

 

limitation

 

after this night

will you pretending?

 

after this night

 

will u hesitate

 

 

as u kissing me

i'm a hostage

 

who the victim

what is hunting

 

this is not a game as we're not sleeping

 

eye to eye

 

if there's life before this life

 

did we promised to met here?

 

this empty seat

 

take it

 

your empty room

 

lock me in

 

 

"keiv..."

 

"ngh.."

 

"sh senpai.."

 

"mmh.."

 

 

he kissed me everywhere

 

his finger dancing on me

 

his moans so close in my ear

 

he plays my ear with his mouth

 

pressing his boxer on mine

 

so hard..

 

heavy, his weight is heavy

 

"saturn snghh.. snpai mmnh"

 

he hump it slowly , press it down slowly on mine

 

both are hard and feels hurt if he put it on top

he put it lil bit on right

 

he kiss me and licks my chin

my neck

my shoulder

 

"nnnngh ... keiv"

 

"pssst shenpai don't .. mmh make noises"

 

 

"nghhhh keiv it feels so good"

 

he catch my mouth with his mouth to cover my moans

 

i play my tongue inside it and he out of control

his breathe unstable

yet wild

he suck my tongue

our saliva feels anywhere around it. nectar

he pull out his d a lil also mine from our boxer

it feels too damn good i can't stop but moan

 

"ah . nhh senpai"

 

he hold my hand and try to pull me out of his bed

he put his pointer finger vertically to his lips as a code

slowly he lead me out of his room to closet

 

there's a lil empty room right there

 

he close the door and being wild again

 

kiss me till i lean on the wall behind me

 

he open my clothes

and suck my body

he knead my chest and pressin his boxer up and down

we're so hard as fuck as i don't know how to explain

 

now he open his clothes and open our boxer

 

the light from the lamp outside makes us can see each other

 

he smiles at me

 

and in that point two of us suddenly shy

i play my finger on his hair and smile

i saw his d and sayin

"damn dat's huge lil bro"

he smile and said

"i know :}"

"umm.. senpai"

 

"yes?"

 

"are you top or bot?"

 

Saturn: "pardon, what is that?"

 

Keiv: " o_o nevermind "

 

Saturn: "uhh?"

 

Keiv: "nevermind :], senpai you're so handsome.. i.. can't hold my self"

as he said it he start strokin our d together

so hard, so warm and lil bit wet

 

he smile and said

"mine is really huge right "

 

yes -_- bigger than mine, bigger than Gestra's

i cant say anything since he continue his wildness

 

he lick my neck to my lips and start his crazy kiss

this is

first time in my life i did this kind of kiss

even with girls i never did this kind of kiss

even kiss can pump my blood system till burned and ghoosebumb

 

the sensation of frotage is too good and tickle till i can't stand

i slowly sit down on the floor while still lean on the wall

his d right infront of ma face and i just can't help

to know how it feels

and for the first time i lick it and put it in my mouth

 

Keiv: "ouch! .. sh eenpai"

 

Saturn: "whyvess wkheiv?"

 

Keiv: " -_- don't let ur teeth touch it it's hurt"

 

Saturn: "woovkey" *continue

 

it's too huge i can't put it all in

 

Keiv: "Ouch! (--___--) senpai!"

*put it out

Saturn: "=_= i know my fang is lil bit sharp"

 

Saturn: "(-_-) ok ok. i don't know how to do it. derp"

 

he giggling and put his face near mine

 

"it's ok .let me do it for you"

 

he starts from the ..

kaiquwye18%$#^%$^%

 

thissssssss feeeellssss likeeeeeeeee

gooooooooooooooooooooooshhh dayum gyooodddd

 

"nnnnnnnnngh keeeiv"

 

he continue and change his speed

he suck it strongly

he plays his tongue inside

warm and

he even try to put the corner of his tonge inside my d hole

it's tickling

but i feels like my legs burned on fire

my feet like dying in a good way

i knead his head with my arms

 

"keiv .. i."

 

"keiv stop i'm dyinghh .. to hold ma moans"

 

Keiv: "senpai u're so strong, how to make u close?"

 

Saturn: 'I'm not even close .. o_o it just i wanna moans louder if u did that"

 

Keiv: "gosh senpai u strong -_-, almost morning my sist will awake, we better reach that state"

 

Saturn: "ok, i have a.. position in my dirty fantasy, i guess it will makes me explode"

 

tenderly i push him back and i sit on his laps

i press his huge "D" below my "double OO" and "hole"

put saliva on it to make it slippery and start rub it with my hands

rub it at that territory with that slippery sounds

 

he is crazily feels too good

 

"ticklee. senpai. i like it"

 

Saturn: "keep it like this, i'll be close"

 

his face is so handsome

that expression when he feels good is just like. makin me crazier

 

i remember when i did a masturbation infront of mirror just to see ma expression

and it's looks retarded

he is different

 

every lil moves every lil moan just takes me higher

 

Keiv: "senpai let me"

 

*put his d head inside

 

Saturn: "no! AKHH!". "dam.. ke.. i"

Keiv: "let me.. let me in .. nggh"

 

Saturn: "NO.. stop it hurts me"

 

keiv: "let me"

 

*push strong

 

Saturn: "AKH!"

~flops

 

i can't move. ITS FKN PAINFULL

my tears out coz it's so painful

i can't breath

i knead his shoulder so strong till he surprised

i almost cry it's too painful

 

Keiv: "senpai.."

 

Saturn: "put it out!" *knead my arm harder

 

Keiv: "please.."

 

Saturn: "no! please ." *holding pain

 

he slowly put it out and it's hard to put it out

 

it's fuckn painfull

 

i'm panic trying to make sure there is no blood

sigh

yes.

 

no blood.

 

i close my eyes

 

gosh

 

Keiv: "sorry.."

 

Saturn: "I'm not ready for that =_="

 

Keiv: " "

 

Saturn: "bad boy" *hug

still

 

we're horny

 

too horny . no anticlimax can stop this

 

"i'm close just keep that position"

 

Keiv: "i'm too close senpai"

 

he put up his D from that territory to press together with mine

he put his saliva and stroke it

 

strong and fast

 

hot

 

"nnnnghhh"

 

"aaaaaaaaannngghhhhhhhhh"

 

*splrrrttttttt

 

his hot fluid spread out strongly to my chin and my lips

makes the stroke more slippery with sounds with full of his cum inside his strong stroking arms

*clrkss

i can't hold it

 

"keivvvhhhhh ahhhnmh"

 

*splrrrrtttttttt sprrrt

my boiled cum pumped out inside his arms and huge D

i suck his tongue as my fluid keep burst out on his stomach

i hold his body so tight for the pleasure stinging my legs and feet

 

i'm so exhausted and still my lips on his lips

he lick the cum on my chin while he breathin heavily

 

he hugs me tight and we chillin at that position for a moment

 

his d and mine still have contraction before it's gettin soft

 

my chin lean on each other shoulder

 

paused like can't believe this happens

 

we really silent and exhausted

 

"hey lets clean up before your sister awake"

 

nothing to clean it so he used our clothes

 

he borrow me his clothes

Keiv: "maybe this fit? "

 

Saturn: "nothing fit u're too tall"

 

as we walk back to his bedroom

i smell the clothes he borrowed to me

sniff it and said "love it.. ur scent"

i saw the clothes and

 

"bahahhaha"

 

Keiv: "senpai quiet what's so funny o_o"

 

Saturn: *hold laughter "why doraemon! >.

 

Keiv: "it's ma junior high school sleeping shirt (=_=) chibi senpai"

 

Saturn: "-_- awh, ok."

 

he smile at me as we reach bed

 

"gnite senpai"

 

*door opened

*panic

 

*pretend sleep

 

his sister walking pass our bed and goin downstair without turn up the light

 

as we pretend to sleep, we sleep.

 

here comes the morning after

 

maybe lil bit not morning co we were overslept

 

sun so shiny outside

 

i got class today. gotta go shower and prepare to go

 

he already after shower

 

he look at me and said

 

 

 

he moves closer and i saw there's many kiss bruises on him also

 

"see urs?"

 

he panic "o damn o_o"

 

i'm gigling coz he is so cute

fresh scent after shower on his body, and he only use a basketball shorts

 

damn this hot. i try to spin my body again to bed and my face to pillow to stop my dirty thinking

 

he lookin at ma butt and said

 

"can u not"

 

"what?"

 

dats possition is hot

 

*spin again

*lil bit harden

 

i said while tryin to distract my eyes to the wall

"why u so pro last night"

 

"don't said it like that =_=" *closer

 

i said "get ready we'll be late"

 

he said "mine harden it's ur fault"

*put his things on mine

 

tadaaa, happend again with our boxer on

 

while he humping me i said "seems experienced, did u do it with somebody else before?"

 

"senpai please don't said it that way"

 

Saturn: "i'm curious"

 

Keiv: "yes i did, first year in senior high school"

 

Saturn: "how? "

 

Keiv: "-_- long story, gave u the detail after school"

 

Saturn: "ngh.. i'm close"

 

Keiv: "dat time im the bottom, i mean, the one whose being penetrated"

 

Saturn: "owh.. how does it feels?"

 

*he open my boxer

*pull up my legs

 

Keiv: "like this"

 

Saturn: "stop! no. grrrr"

 

Keiv: "really u don't want it?"

 

Saturn: "no i don't"

 

Keiv: "what if this the last time i wanna do this kind of things?"

 

Saturn: *cold stare to the wall "then be it"

 

keiv: "don't mad at me" *kiss

 

he hump more harder till we reach it again. and finally we seperate on our way

this time he is with his own motorbike coz we're almost late

 

we promise to met at the coffee shop after class

 

i buy lil bandage tapes to hide the bruises

 

on the other side i .. feel weird

like i

 

proud

 

with this bruises

 

i wont hide it

 

it's like something filled in my life

 

part that needed to numb the pain

 

peace of this symbols on my neck and shoulder

 

for he not pretending like others infront of me

 

i'm happy

 

friends in college saw this bruises and said 'woops, bla3

i forgot what they said coz i ignore em

my mind only showing Keiv's smile

the warm of his hands

his voices

 

keep lookin at the clock how it's ticking so slow

 

i wanna met him. i already miss him.

 

tell the teacher i wanna go pee. infact i just wanna starin at the bruises in the mirror

 

and smile

 

look at ma face when i'm smiling

"retard"

 

lil giggling and go back to watching the clock ticking

 

i have a best friend in my college he is also a gamer that made me playin the online game

that i did played with Keiv's too

 

his name is Nara

he is a str8 totally normal and his folder of porn is japanese lesbian porn :>

there's no way i can copy porn from his pc hahahaa

 

we're close coz of the gamer

plus in the past, me and Gestra sometime come to nara place to play game

coz cybercaffee lil bit expensive and Nara is the type of gamer that loves to watch people playing games

 

i trust him. on the past when he ask why i quit from my band and Gestra never come again

i open up to him.

he keep it secret until now

 

diferent with Nick that rage at me and try to makes me stay the right way,

Nara says it's ok if thats how i feels

he is not even feel bother coz for him, sexual interpretation is our own business, just like religion

 

i did told him about I met a cute guy in my choir

and he is not trying to say "not again" but stupidly he said "go for it :>"

i visit him and i tell what happend last night

bot too detail coz i'm worry it will gross on his ear

he laughing like "i can't believe you got him! awsome!"

 

sometimes i feel like my love story is interesting like anime episode for him to hear

so well, i just need a friend to share about what happened

and i said thanks for introduce me to that online game

 

but nara hates Gestra coz Gestra lil bit -_- don't know about etic code of being a guess

see what he did on Nara's windows when Nara's going back during holidays to other city

 

the hole on his broken window was still there -_-

stupid Gestra

 

 

after laugh and share i go to the coffee shop to met Keiv

 

he looks angry

 

Keiv: "Senpai you're too slow .i wait so long grrr"

 

i sit down infront of him and take out a box of my cigarates

he took the box and open it

 

he flipped one of it and put it back

 

Saturn: "hmm ? for what?"

 

*smile with his cuteness

keiv: "for make a wish, put a wish in everything :]"

 

i don't really get it but i'm giggling coz he is so pinch-able

 

yeah we talk alot about his past

 

about 2 years ago with his classmate

always do the gay jokes

coz it's funny in senior high school

 

the problem is he is handsome and Keiv started to feels wrong

 

Keiv don't wanna tell the name

 

but when he told me the detail of their dirty dirty moment at his friend's house

i was like

 

"ew. gross"

 

even thats hot

just try to be not jelly

hahahaa

 

and he ask about my experienced

 

i told him about Gestra.

 

not the painfull part, just try to make him jelly

 

HE IS NOT JELLY, but he become curious about Gestra

 

grr, i put one of the cigarates that he flipped and i said in my mind

 

"i wish you'll never hurt me like he did"

 

time goes and we have a choir training dat time, so we walk together to the training building

 

"senpai -_- hide ur cigars, they will saw it, we're near"

 

i take a last deep suction and i said to my mind

 

"i wish i can hold your hand as we walks :] , yeah impossible"

 

L or L who cares

 

i'll give him any L

 

L or L

 

there is two L inside when i said "i wiLL"

 

it's my will for him

 

the one that i miss when he is not there

 

the one that will always flipped one of my cigarate

 

the one that overtaken me

 

 

i'm in love.

 

don't ever .. leave me

 

even if you leave me

 

u have to comes back

 

u have to

 

i'm afraid how much pain will i suffer when u left me

 

i love you

 

i wish

 

you

 

feel

 

the

 

same

 

*turn off the cigarate and walk with him

 

[video=youtube;r-DLyDyY9dA]

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to be continued

[Drag]

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- ty for posting more of this. Needed another Saturn fix so bad love your writing style.

[Saturn]

thankyou for still read saturn draggg

[yaoifangirl]

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I love it! This chapter was so hot! :hamtaro-005 (6):

[Miro]

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Hot indeed.

[Karin]

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Aww Saturn wished that Keiv would be jealous, I also hopped he'll be jealous when he heard about Gestra. I like them both! rabbit14

[Saturn]

hey sorry for long time not continue. crazily after 2 years never met keiv. i met him again. and it makes me crazy n suicidal. i will continue this if i can calm my self down.

[Justme]

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*hugs* Stay strong, no matter how much we love someone and no matter how much they hurt us no one deserves to die for them. Get well and continue writing.

[Saturn]

been years, but the memories ~ Saturn

lonely huh ~ Meridianna

 

 

 

warning

rating: 18+

sexual content, strong language, vulgarity

 

CHAPTER 10 - Smiles And Sweetness

 

 

 

Summary: 2010, i'm so happy that me and Keiv getting more close. i never feel this way. like.. almost complete

Status: Ongoing

 

 

he is so cute..

can't believe i really get a long with him

his smile calm me down

his scent of perfume

 

 

 

 

this is

 

yes a two way street

 

just to imagining that tonight there'll always be a hug

that's gonna safe me

 

[video=youtube;-1FN-ZTvQNc]

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i can't concentrate training like this

 

i feel so happy. i keep smiling like an idiot . but Keiv's smile is ..soooo sweet

 

 

"i'm still curious about Gestra, senpai tell me more about him"

 

we're sitdown together side by side at the vocal training room

he keep asking me about Gestra. He wanna know more of the story

i'm just silent and makin a sharp eye trying to make him understand that i'm annoyed

but he won't stop. he keep poking me

 

he is so noisy so i said "--__-- let's concentrate training can we?"

 

"nooo, come on tell me. is he still in this city?"

 

"how does he looks like?"

 

i wanna make him jelly so i said

saturn: "he is handsome, his body is really nice. and he is half german's blood + Chinese , his legs are so hot and hairy, he got tattoo , and always hug me from behind and yes he still studying in this city at university of comunication"

 

keiv: "......

 

=_= and he is not jelly at all

 

keiv: " shenpai, Lolly the girl beside us, she is studying on the same university as Gestra"

 

...now i'm hesitating about telling him the name of Gestra's university

i continued exercising vocal and trying to ignore keiv coz he just won't stop asking

 

suddenly he look at me with devilish smile and then he pokes Lolly and said

 

"do u know a boy named Gestra? he is one of ur senior in ur university"

 

WTH! .. i suddenly feel so upset and stand up from my seat

 

 

keiv : "senpai ? wher.."

me: "toilet"

 

i'm so upset and going out of that room, walking fast to the toilet

 

why he is so .... grrrrrr

 

and at the toilet i feel stupid coz i don't know what to do

 

i'm just open the water and longing

 

10 second , Keiv open the door giving a warm smile and

 

 

 

 

hug me so tight

 

"don't be mad at me please senpai. i'm sorry"

 

me: " ... " (blush)

 

"i'm not mad at you.. just... really wanna go to toilet"

 

keiv: "and open the water pipe + longing , come on let's go upstairs again before lolly things wrong"

 

me: "ok .. i hope there's no cctv here coz u hug me like a lover"

 

keiv: "aaaaaaa, ok lets go"

 

we exercising like usual, this time i feel so warm

 

imagining that moment again and smiling by my self >,

 

it's not even sexual but i feel more happy about it.

 

so this is not lust (trying to be sure)

 

 

after that he wants to go with me to see my friend's band on cafe

the place are pretty huge

and there's no sofa for two people. it designed for 6 - 10 people in one table

 

so at the one table and sofa, it's only me and him and it feels so weird.

 

and i remember that this is the cafe where Gestra hug his crying girlfriend while keep looking at my eyes.

 

dammit. forget it. i have Keiv now (o,o)

 

 

"i wanna lean on your shoulder" (keiv whispered)

 

"noo, we can't"

 

"i know that's why :

 

"but at least i wanna hold ur hand"

 

me: "we can't do those things in public" (flat face)

 

" :{ i want i want i want lean my head and lie down on ur lap"

 

aaaaaaaa

 

me: " T--T i want that too but we can't"

 

keiv: " :'

 

 

and then he became so fussy , can't sit still on his sofa.

 

"let's go out then, i'm hungry.. the food in here is too expensive and ant's portion"

 

keiv: "Yay , lets go"

 

 

and then two of us looking for a dinner near the street

 

we eat together and he whispering again

 

"i dare you"

 

me: "dare what?"

 

"feeding me the food from ur spoon when people not looking"

 

me: "that's easy" "wait"

 

 

my heart beating like a boss n then i try to fill the food on my spoon

 

my hand is shaking coz i'm nervous if anybody see us

 

i know it's suppose to be easy and people will don't care

 

 

but i'm nervous, when i almost feed him the chef walking to our direction and i'm faster put the food in my mouth

and keiv is giggling

 

me: "ok i'll do this but i dare you to do this first."

 

Keiv: "here say aaaa"

 

aaammh

 

saturn: (munching)

 

Keiv: "see? it's easy"

 

i'm looking around if maybe somebody is saw that moment but it's looks ok. nobody saw it

 

saturn: "ok say a

 

Keiv is gigling

 

chef: "how's the food?"

 

saturn: "aa yes mam! i mean sir . it's good!"

 

Keiv is laughing so hard

 

i'm smiling and laugh with him. man... what happen today, everything are so romantic

"ok just.. eat, u crazy. mama said don't play with foods"

 

Keiv: "ok mom! hahaha :''>"

 

 

after eat i go to his home again, we sit and smoke together at the balcony

doing nothing, wasting time together

now he can finally lean his head on my shoulder and i play with his hair

i feel so happy tonight

 

"promise me"

 

Keiv: "umm?"

 

Saturn: "no matter how crazy our fight or conflict in future, don't .."

"don't leave me"

 

Keiv: "hmmm...promise"

 

Keiv: "you now what, i love you and i hate you also"

 

Saturn: "hate?"

 

Keiv: "coz i promised to my self to stop this kind of things long time ago but then you come on the.."

"on the right time when i needed someone one. i hate you." (he holds my arm)

 

Saturn: "it's ok. u can hate me but don't leave"

 

Keiv: "if i leave will u chase?"

 

Saturn: "i will"

 

he lie down his head to my laps and look at my face

 

and then

 

Keiv: "i want"

 

Saturn: "? huh"

 

Keiv: "i want "that" "

 

my brain are dirty and my things right to his ear automatically harden

 

Keiv: "yes. i want that hardened thing that moving beside my ear :>"

 

Saturn: "o damn.. =_=, can't we stick to the moment?"

 

Keiv: "your thing can't stick to the moment :>>>"

 

welll n then he open my boxer and puff n boom and yeah and

 

and i do the same

 

Keiv: "mine are huge right senpai"

 

and it end up with frotage on his bed again.

but this time his sister is not home so we're doin it freely

and i feel so inlove with him

Keiv: "may i put it in?"

Saturn: "NO"

 

we're so exhausted after that and oversleep

 

we woke up in the afternoon

he is opening his laptop and playing games

we're too lazy to go to the class and also too late

so we just wasting time together

 

Keiv: "senpai".. "isit ok for you if we don't have that kind of courtship status?"

Saturn: "i never care about that as long as you're here with me"

Keiv: "..."

Saturn: "why?"

Keiv: " :

" so we're just a big brother and lil brother"

Saturn: "with romance" (chuckle)

Keiv: "yeah. what they called it these days? bore-men"

Saturn: "bromance -_-"

 

i'm still sleepy and i'm lying my face and body downward

 

he suddenly looking at me

stand up and sit down on the bed saying

 

"senpai, can u please not sleeping in that position" (grabbing my but)

 

Saturn: "well i'll sleep in whatever position if it's turn u on"

(naughty smile)

 

Keiv: "dat smile!"

 

Saturn: " what?"

 

Keiv: "i'll name it -let's have sex smile- "

 

Saturn " ahahaha, u're so cute"

 

Keiv: "no I'm not! guess what? i'll rape you " (he humps his boxer on my but) "like this"

"and" (lying on my back, licking my neck and ears) whispering "and i'll dominate you with my"

"mmh" "tongue" (hands inside my shirt) "and"

 

i feel so turned on since i'm the one whose decoying him

 

(biting my ears while talking) "I'm gonna" (opening my boxer)

(rubbing his D so gentle) "make you feel the warm of this"

(playing his fingers on my mouth) (licking his finger after)

"i'll put our slippery saliva here"

 

damn i'm so horny, his D so huge and warm and the slippery sound there just makes me even more flying

i'm so weak, his big body pushing on me and i can't move, i can't do anything but moan in pleasure when he push his warm rod on my but, up and down to my balls

 

"and coz i said rape" (re direct his big D with his hand)

 

Saturn: " AaaaaaakH "

 

i feel his huge rod entering my hole slowly

 

"you can't say no this time"

Saturn: "mmms.. hurts Kei Keiv.. " but i can't move, i can't fight coz he licking my spot on the back of my neck

 

"relax.. mmh. senpai. it won't hurt if u let me"

"just surrender and enjoy"

 

i don't know how to relax but i surrender, and i can feel it slowly penetrating me more deep

 

"too tight,.. nnnh, i really need to do it slowly"

 

his saliva dripping on my ear , so hot

he can't put it all in coz it's too tight and grab his arms so strong when he tried to push more

 

Saturn: "Keivh..ah .. mmmh ,,don't.. push it, it's too huge"

 

but he suddenly push it so strong

i feel the pain

i scream

but he just won't stop

but i feel like

i wanna please him

so i let him..

weirdly i don't feel any pain after that

it feels

so

fuckin'

good

 

Keiv: "how does it feels mmh nng ah.. saturn senpai"

Saturn: "akh... aah.. say.. say my name again"

Keiv: "saturn.. seenpai"

Saturn: "again"

 

now he keep calling my name on my ear coz i feel more horny when he did that

he really wants me to roll over coz he wanna see my face and want to kiss me

but i refuse coz his rod fully filled in me and i'm too scare to move on other position

i scare with that first pain i did feel

 

and that was the first time

i have sex with a 17 y.o boy

 

moreover. i never have sex with girl before

 

i feel embarrassed but.. pleased like crazy

 

we're exhausted. he lie on my laps again

look at my face and said

 

Keiv: "what kind of lil brother doing this to his big brother" he smiles and hold my hand

Saturn: "i don't care. I'm happy"

Keiv: "come here" (he put his left arm on my head and pull my face over) smooch

"i still hate you coz you come at the right time"

 

i just smile and playing with his hair

 

he holding my hands and fell asleep on my lap

 

as i play his hair i'm flying to sleep also

 

this time

 

not a dream

 

this time

 

i know that this is not a dream

 

 

this time my hands are really holding yours

 

 

this time your smiles are really curved for me

 

 

and i know tonight there is a hug that gonna safe me from my nightmare

 

from the cold

 

i'm talking inside my heart with my eyes closed

"Keiv don't worry. nobody gonna know. and they don't needa know"

 

i love you even when we doing nothing

so how can i be bored

 

let's waste the time together

 

i know ,I'm a Saturn and you're my moon

but this time please don't be broken by my gravitation

stop worrying things and just feel our smiles and sweetness

 

i'm glad

 

this time

 

my hands are really holding yours.

 

 

 

 

everything was so good and sweet

 

 

 

and we're lil bit out of control

Keiv becomes more and more spoil and fussy, but i love it

we're always been together

but this time i can't stay at his place coz his mom already staying in his house

and i don't have apartment anymore since my parents know i was playing the knife on my hand back there when i quite from my band. so i can't having my own place again

well yeah , the only place that always welcoming me is Nara's place

 

remember my straight bestfriend name Nara?

whose room jailbreaked by Gestra for the sake of a free internet connection.

yes

now me and Keiv always come to that place

siting on the sofa, smokin chating and then going to cyber game net cafe to playing game.

3 of us always been together

and Nara is a kind of person that really happy if i come to his place coz so many things we can discuss, so many games we can play.

That time, Nara have a girlfriend name Dia.

she is a k-pop lover , preety cute and .. coz she know that i'm usually take a nap in Nara's place

she sometimes make me as a spy. msg me and ask where is Nara when Nara didn't answer her call.

and you know gamer? we're forget everything when playing games. XD

 

well Nara already know about my bisexuality. bout me and Keiv. coz i always told him everything from Gestra till Keiv.

He is really open minded and always there when i needed help.

 

and because he knows everything

 

me and Keiv can be free from discreecy when we're on his place

but this Keiv

we kissed behind Nara's back while Nara's playing his pc

we play wrestling boner infront of Nara and said "do u wanna join us?" | "guys.. get a room"

yeah. we're out of line just because we're happy with this lil freedom

 

but Keiv loves to make me jealous

i told him that i'll never be jealous if he flirts the girls

yes he didn't do

but he flirts the boys with his jokes and i don't like it

sometimes whispering to me "senpai, see, that guy there is so hot"

and i'll say "nope"

nope for everything

and because of that.. we always getin into a lil fight

little

even when he start, end up i'm chasing him and apologize

and for a big fight, we always end up meeting at our memorable coffeeshop and make it up.

 

bad thing is because of him, I'm addicted with sex

and it's weird for me if we have the chance, but we didn't do anything

and because of sex

we're exhausted and didn't go to class

 

his parent's start to be worrying him and start sayin "you gotta go home everynight"

 

that's when the things become more hard for me

my ego

 

we can't met each other too frequently anymore

 

one night he msg me

 

"senpai ,i'm so sad T-T

today my sister scolding me coz two of my goldfish died.

i forgot to feed phineas and ferb.. , i'm so upset. i miss you"

 

sometimes we met at Henry's apartment or Nara's

he stayed at night but he always need to go home

i really hate that

i wan't him to stay

but he always tried to come and wake me in the morning

 

i always did write his name on one of my cigaratte

sometimes i wrote "i wish you were here" and send the picture to him.

 

he didn't reply but he did come in the early morning, sometimes hug me and told me to go to school

 

i swear, waking up in the morning with his smile is one of the most beautiful thing to start a day

 

"senpai! i'm free today! lets met at the coffe shop!"

 

"senpai, let's skip the choir training and go somewhere"

 

people at the choir place wondering

why the two of us suddenly never come to choir exercise

 

[out of this story that i write] in 2013 from the gossip boy at the choir, i finally know that there is a gay inside that choir that fell inlove with Keiv also, and it was happened before i'm geting close with Keiv. A girlyboy name Vatona was trying to break Keiv's discreecy with his gaydar, and make Keiv insecure. Keiv's try to avoid him long time ago coz he so annoying, but intime Vatona finally apologize and stop to be annoying. But after that bitch seing me and Keiv becoming so close, he start to spreading the issues about me and Keiv have something behind my choir's back. and that is the root of next obstacle. pardon, i still don't like him till this time. even i know him from i was in junior high school

 

ok, back to the story

 

oneday, we did come to the choir training again

and after training , there is a meeting. They said it's a sharing moment, and they wanna get rid all of the choir's problems. like the smokers, skippers, leavers, and bla bla bla

 

i never get along with the choir's authority (chief)

coz i know i'm smoking, they know I'm a smoker

they prohibit it in the name of religion

but i always think that who are you to judge that kind of things

like if i smoke then i'm too dirty to worship

i never promise to stop smoking to em and i said it frankly when i was in the choir audition

but they still accept me.

i'm less holly

 

while the chief talking infront, me and Keiv is flirting each other, same room but we using our cellphone

 

" :* love you! "

 

and he send

 

" :> stop giving me "dat smile" "

 

"let's smoke here infront of him"

 

"LOL!!!"

 

chief: "and there's so many things we need to share in here, so whatever your problem is , we're here to help you, on the past, there's a sad things happens in our choir just because people don't wanna said things clearly about em. we're accepting all of you here coz i believe that we'll grow to be better, together day by day. Smokers, or whatever coz there's so many things in life that we can't see out of this room.

even a love to the same gender"

 

"so i want you to share about all of things that you wanna share in here for the better future of our choir, Saturn? u wanna start? or Keiv? or Lolly? who wanna start? Miguel?"

 

as that words and our name spoken like that, my brain feel the fear.

do they know something?

nah it can't be

we always perfectly keep our discreet and never do anything like that in front of em.

but Keiv seems didn't really pay attention and keep texting me cute things

 

i'm stressed

 

but maybe it's only in my mind, nothing is really need to be worried

as long as i still have him and watch his smiles and sweetness

 

the meeting is over

 

i said nothing

 

tonight Keiv wanna take a nap in my house coz he really miss me

he lied to his parents saying that he wanna do the school home work with his team.

and tomorrow we got a Choir Holiday tour to the beach

 

hope there'll be more moment with Keiv in beautiful place like that

 

at least this time my hands are really holding yours

 

[video=youtube;Gk3qJ-GQNLo]

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To be continued

[Saturn]

I'm sorry my English is not good. but hope you guys get what i mean ^^

[YLover]

Your story is very good and I love how you include drawings and songs!! :In love:

[Saturn]

thankyouuuuu >///

[Justme]

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What a hot chapter!!!! I love this fiction! I am happy to see an update! :Gangnam:

[Saturn]

i'm also happy that u guys still read and wait for the continuity >,

[Miro]

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Hot and cute in the same time! My favorite character of this story is Saturn.

[Saturn]

it's almost 2019 now... i'm kinda wishing that i will never write the continuation of saturn's memories, knowing that this is "original yaoi fiction" but infact it's like a personal diary to him. years of discreet, many of my/his bestiest already married , busy with working. and i don't have nobody to talk to. So here I'm again. with my weird reality, spiritually and sexually different. well. many things happened. ~ Van

because saturn is asleep for a long long time

what to say. where do we start again... I hope nobody in the real life found me here, since this story is indeed. a suicidal online diary

 

 

 

warning

rating: 18+

sexual content, strong language, vulgarity

 

SEASON 2: CHAPTER 0 - Starry Starry Night

 

tonight is different than usual night

it's been a rough rough years for me

I'm laying on my bed with the door open wide, smoking.

my bedroom is on the second floor of my family house, and i can see the sky clearly from here.

the full moon is slightly orange and pink.

"Full moon on gemini. hmm"

it's so quiet. mercury still retrogrades that night. also, saturn. and saturn is not here.

the one that writing this story now is van. van chaote.

let me tell you a secret.

Saturn was only one of many me.

now Van is in control. He is all about astrology and magic(k).

He.. or me.. is watching the starry night meanwhile charging a bottle of water with rose quartz.

quiet. as quiet as mercury retrogrades

 

 

 

Summary: 2018. I was laying on my bedroom watching a full moon and getting ready to perform some ... things.

Status: Ongoing

 

have u ever feel the same like me?

 

i mean like

have nobody to talk to about a lovelife kind of things

because it's still a taboo in here.. in religion's eye, societal, and whatever.. whatever..

I once have 3 people to talk to.

one is a girl name Fitria, she was an art student like me and we're actually still being bestiest until now,

it's just every time I share and talked about it, she looks so sad and she keep saying that "one day for sure, i believe, u'll be a straight. u can do it, u can change"

it's kinda hurts me cause I'm actually passed the "self acceptance" long time ago after Gestra incident.

I'm ok with me you know... all I need is just somebody to talk to.

 

second is Miguel. He is actually a "discreet" boy from the last choir where i met Keiv. We became closer because me, Keiv, and Miguel was an online game lover and always play together at the cybercaffee.

I used to be jealous at him cause he is yes, handsome, cute ,and close with Keiv too but i never feel any ill-will energy from him so i know, he is a friend. He even act as my agent whenever me and Keiv have a fight, also still being the mediator even when me and Keiv broke up.

He is just like a Mama actually, love to lecture me about eat, drink, this and that.

I miss Miguel

I hope he is happy now that he is already in heaven, or probably the next life

 

third

is Nara. My buddy and boarding house room mate from 2008 when i was still in art institute.

He is a living witness of my relationship between me.. Gestra.. Keiv and many many after Keiv since it was a really dark time of my life.

he even read all the chapters before this chapters.

yeah Nara was always there. We take care and cheered up each other.

till I fell in love with him.

he is a straight guy who has too many tolerances upon me.

too many

till he lost it

or act that he lost it?

it's crazy if he know that i'll be writing story about him.

my dear buddy...

 

 

the night is full of stars

i know this is not just an ordinary connection between me and him.

somehow i feel that i know him long time ago before this life.

is this what they called soulmate connection?

but one thing I know about those connection is: it's gonna be painful..

I shuffled my tarot decks, and again and again. "The Tower" Cards appears

 

how many tower moment should it be to make me stop this karmic cycle?

 

Saturn was too brokenhearted to write this story, he is tired and asleep.

now van is here. van is controlling this vessel.

he said .. or i said. this could be done. the cycle. it's necessary

now write your intention van said

draw a circle, charge it with your energy, and activate it by imagining you making love with Nara

I try to remember the way i used to sleep beside him

his scent, his face when he is sleeping, his slender body.

and his sleeping moans that always drives me crazy.

i began imagining my pillow as him, and start hugging him from behind

my hand slowly sneak on his t-shirt and wander his soft and pale skin, warm and enchanting.

slowly up to his chest and play meanwhile i grind my over aroused rod in my boxer on his back.

the more i play with his chest, the more he moans unconsciously and twitch his body.

now he suddenly change his position meanwhile talking on his sleep as usual "don't" he said and slowly snoring and put his hairy legs up on my belly.

this hairy wonderland invite my hand to his legs i said, so be it.

my finger rubs slowly from his calf to his tight and yes

i can't help it but goes inside his boxer,

this heavy sleeper really really doesn't move anymore,

i grab his soft treasure out from below of his boxer, "he is not hard yes he is asleep",

and slowly stroke the tip after i put my own semen into my finger as the lube.

it harden , harden. it's thick, not thicker than Keiv's but it's longer.

I can't take this cuteness anymore, this sensation is so crazy.

my brain full of dopamine and i can't help but reach my own climax

and at the moment of the climax, stare at the symbol. van said.

pump your sperm to the symbol. let it dried.

and burn it into the void.

then sleep.

let the universe arranged it, above.

so the story here, below.

 

begins

 

To be continued

..

[Macys]

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I am so glad you decided to resume this story/diary! I missed it a lot!

[Saturn]

thankyou for missing it!