Breathe again (private raimeowmeow × yukino kyo)

[Rhye_Meow]

After a few minutes of thinking, Josh thought that it's best if he starts preparing dinner. Resting isn't really helping him clear his head so he decided to just occupy it. He walked pass by Antonee who's busy watching television and he rustled his his hair. "I'm okay now. So i'll just prepare dinner." He akwardly sauntered into the kitchen and started checking what stock he could cook. He decided to go for beef teriyaki with sesame seeds, steamed rice with furikake, and boiled eggs. Well, only the boiled eggs is okay for him to eat. All of these was for Antonee. Chopping and checking the cook book, as if he is piuring all hes got into the food. "Ahm, Antonee, could you help me pound the beef? I need to tenderize it first.." realizing what he has done, his face turned red again. And something inside him pop , like a balloon. 'Huh... is this what they called Love?' He clenched his chest tight, trying calm his heart...

 

 

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee Helped Josh as he say's and sit after they are done. "Are you really feeling Ok?" Antonee asked. He sit's and watch Josh cook "you know I really enjoy looking at you cooking your like a responsible house wife" he said and suddenly realize what he just said and added "sorry!, I... need to make a call, be back later" he put his hand on his face and walk outside blushing. "why did I say that in front of him" he murmured and punched the wall then his fist bleeds. Then he made a call. "Maddam I'm not sure about tomorrow's schedule can we postpone that sorry for the trouble" he said. Then went inside and change his clothes to long sleeve's to hide the wound.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

'Did he just said house wife?' Josh was shocked at what he heard that he dropped the soup laddle and mouth agape, opening and closing like a fish out of water. He closed his eyes and feel his chest. 'This is getting way out of hand. Stop. You need to stop.' He schooled his expression and started slapping his face lightly. Resuming from cooking, Josh started with the monologue. 'You don't have the right to love Josh, you'll leave very soon, just be friends and remain that way. So you will not leave someone expecting much from you and just hurting them in the end.'

After finishing the meals, he prepared the usual for him. Oatmeals and bananas. When he set the dinner table, he called on Antonee. "Wash your hands first." He said and immedietely regretted it. He did sound like house wife. He sat at the table and eat in silence. "So, how's your head wound? And stab wound? Shouldn't you be resting instead of working?" He asked

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee really forgotten about those stuff's but after Josh reminded him he said " I guest I really should accompany you tomorrow so I can have my check up also, I felt weird about my head lately so need to see if I'm fine" smiled and started to eat. "Oh, if your gonna talk about the party for me I suspended it and told them I have to go with someone special" and looked at Josh and smile.

 

Antonee stand up and said "I'm the one on duty today so after you eat you should take a rest" he smiled and goes at the back of Josh chair and whispers to Josh "Please, Josh I want you to have a good rest today" and brushes Josh hair before going to the bathroom.

 

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

The room was already dark, and the silence was defeaning. Josh wasn't sleeping peacefully like he should. Tossing and turning at his bed, he was thinking alot of things. First was will his dad accept Antonee living here even for awhile? Second, he realize he has feelings for him, so what now? How will things pan out?

 

Morning comes and he prepared the things they needed that day. Sleep deprived, Josh knock at Antonee's door once and opened it. "Antonee breakfast is ready."he said gently shaking him, enjoy seeing his sleeping face.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee was very sleepy he just go into bed and only have an hour sleep but his thing is really up hearing Josh voice calling out to him, it was like attending a flag ceremony and move right and left as Josh shake's him.

 

"Antonee breakfast is ready."

 

He stood up and looked at Josh "is it really that late?" he asked and stood up wearing only a sleeveless and a boxer. He went on the toilet and said "shit. . ." as he look at him self. Then open the toilet door a little and said "can you wait for me for a moment I'll just take a fast bath" and smiled. He saw his thing so hard and take a bath to cool his body down then looked at Josh and said "what time are we going to see your doctor?" and sit like nothing happened.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

"I have to go see the doctor just before lunch, so we still have time." Josh answered as he hurry back to his room , he didnt miss it. He saw Antonee's hard thing. Hurrying to his shower, Josh strips his clothes off and had a cold gush of water. Trying to cool his beating heart, and his pulsing hard penis. Breathing slowly, he tried to focus ,like he usually do whenever he gets excited. Afted a few minutes, he emerge at the kitchen bare feet and wearin a shorts and whitepolo shirt. When he heard Antonee coming, he was so jumpy, he broke a coffee cup.

"Ah, sorry i didn't mean to see your hard penis." He blurted out then he covers his mouth.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukiyaoicrosszeria]

bwahahaha that is so funny made me cry

:hamtaro-005 (15):

[yukino kyo]

He hear a sound of a glass that just fall so he looked at Josh and asked what happened, but Josh answered

 

"Ah, sorry i didn't mean to see your hard penis."

 

Antonee was really shocked then pull his short's and looked at his penis then said "I's not hard? any more,,, Oh you mean this morning of course it was I'm a man after all!" and smile. But he continued at his mind "If you are the one to wake me up like that for sure I'll always have that erection, If you only knew how fast my hear beat's when I'm near you!" .

 

Antonee go to Josh and carry him like a princess with out a word, then put him down on the sofa and said "If your not being careful you might cut your feet by that scattered pieces of glass and you forgot to ware your sleeper's. I guest your still sleepy Josh" and chuckles. Antonee get Josh sleepers and ware it to Josh's feet and whispered "Princess please be careful, your beautiful feet might have a scratch" he stand's up and brushed Josh hair "joudan ...joudan..." and go to the kitchen and clean the scattered glass piece.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

"I know that.. t-that's why i said i didn't mean to! I should have known you needed personal space.. and you know..." he was supposed to say he is gay, but Antonee had already carried him like a princess "What is your problem?! Put me down!!" He pound his fist on Antonee' s shoulders but the obvious difference of strenght is enormous.

"Princess please be careful, your beautiful feet might have a scratch"

'What a...did he just?!' Josh was sitting at the sofatrying to calm while Antonee cleans at the kitchen. 'First he started with calling me wife, now he carried me like a princess and now he calls me one?! What the...' Josh's face was beet red. Deciding to confront him he stood up and saunters into the kitchen "Hey, what's the big idea, calling me 'wife' and 'princess' .. is it because you're making fun of me because i'm a virgin gay guy?"

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee looked at Josh and was shocked from what just Josh said.

 

"Hey, what's the big idea, calling me 'wife' and 'princess' .. is it because you're making fun of me because i'm a virgin gay guy?"

 

He wan't to calm Josh first and wanted to say he was only kidding but as he looked at Josh eye's it was really serious. He decided to tell the truth. "Josh calm down, I'm not making fun of you. . . because. . . I love you. . ." Antonee blushed he really wanted to hide his face but he need to say all that he wanted to tell Josh for a long time so he continued, "I've been in love with you since I first saw you at the cafeteria from our building, then we accidentally meet and get to know each other and everything happened like we were destined. I love you, I try to hide it because I'm afraid for this day to come... I don't want to crush our friendship". Antonee looked at Josh and run and said "I'll be at my room if you still want me to accompany you to your doctor you can call me!".

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

Josh slumps his whole body at the sofa, still shock at what he heard.

because. . . I love you

He slap his face and shook his head, closely monitoring his heart rate. He breathe in and out and pull out his meds at his pocket. Didn't even had time to drink water-Josh just chewed his medicine and gulp. He leaned back and massage his chest. Now the beeping heart monitor has slowed down. Checking at the clock, he still have some time. He sat in front of the breakfast counter and drink water. Eating chop and steamed vegetables. After he is done, he cleared the plate and let it sit at the sink, lazy and tired to wash it.

He got dress in comfortable pre-winter outfit and head on out the door. Inside his car, he mailed Antonee.

 

Antonee,

 

I think it's best if i go alone but i'll back before lunch. We can talk then. I left eggs pancakes and bacon at the breakfast counter. Please eat and see you later.

 

Josh

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee,

 

I think it's best if i go alone but i'll back before lunch. We can talk then. I left eggs pancakes and bacon at the breakfast counter. Please eat and see you later.

 

Josh

 

"I knew this will happen!" Antonee said to himself. He knew that Josh will go by himself and avoid him for what just happen. He was actually thinking of leaving before Josh texted him, he knew this will happen when he confess. "I knew this is only a dream, I knew leaving with him will end up like this. Yet I took the chance, because I want to know him. I love him. I cherish him, I did not want thing's to end up like this. I really wanna know more about you Josh. But as they say. Dreaming is good, yet you need to know when to wake up and face the reality". he said and cry. He pulled out his sim card and brake it into pieces.

 

Dear Josh;

 

I'm sorry for what I have caused you, like I have said I love you... but this love of mine, is not selfish so I will not push you. Sorry for not waiting for us to talk in person, I'm a real cry baby so I'll just cry for the whole time. Sorry for not saying goodbye in person, saying those word's really break my heart but this is for your own good.

 

I broke my sim card, I was afraid if I still knew your no. I might bother you again. I guest I'll be staying some were for the day. Don't worry I'm not going to the cafeteria again and I have told a classmate of mine st change sit's so I will no longer stalking you like that.

 

The day's I spent with you was really fun, no I mean it was the best at least those memories of me being with you. Please don't forbid me to cherish that. It will be my treasure... Josh thank's for letting me know you ... I love you ...

 

 

Antonee

 

 

He left the note with the broken Sim on the top of his bed and pick up his thing. He leave Josh house and went to the bar. "Maddam can I stay here?" Antonee said. He was welcome by every one like a brother and let him stay at the staff House.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

The check up ended quickly like Josh has thought it would, he have been doing this weekly so he knew what to do and what to expect. Before he went home, he decided to buy ice cream for Antonee. He wanted him to relax so they can talk.

 

Honestly he was happy, he knew he like Antonee and maybe.. maybe they can agree on what to do with all these. He happily open the door and called for him , but the house seem empty and cold. The heater was turned off. Frantically searching everywhere, Josh found a note from Antonee. While reading, his vision blackened, his breathing was harsh and painful. The stabbing sensation fills his chest. The alarm on his watch rang, automatically he reached out for his phone pressing emergency call, shortly after he passed out.

 

***

 

"Ne, have you heard? Evans senpai stop coming to school one week now?" One girl ask the classmate of Antonee. They are gathering inside the classroom befoee the class start. Luckily, the proffessor hasn't arrived yet. Josh was known at school, so his absence was well spread. "I heard from Evans senpai's classmate that his father found him passed out, apparently he just returned from business trip. And well Josh had a heart attack? Where he is now, no one knows. His dad refuse to let the school know. Ne- do you know something Antonee?" They asked him.

 

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

Antonee feel blank and did not move the whole day at the school after hearing the conversation, he did not even answer the questions of the girls.

 

"I heard from Evans senpai's classmate that his father found him passed out, apparently he just returned from business trip. And well Josh had a heart attack? Where he is now, no one knows. His dad refuse to let the school know. Ne- do you know something Antonee?"

 

He walk and walk as he reaches the gate of their house he ask the help of his butler to contact his father, he used connection to track Josh and promised to his father that he will do what ever he want for Antonee to do after that. He receive a call and ask the butler to drive him to the location given by his father.

 

He ask the nurse and dash to Josh room. Josh father went out to see the doctor, the nurse said and leave Antonee. Antonee looked at Josh and cry... "I'm sorry, it was my fault I left you... I was afraid that you will reject me and I was afraid that you will be like this if we talk further about our matter..." Antonee holds Josh hands and begged for forgiveness as he fell asleep beside Josh.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

Chris almost died when he arrived from his business trip. Outside his house was an ambulance and two paramedics rushing inside trying to break the entrance. He immediately run leaving his suit cases behind "Let me open that!" He pushed one paramedic and let them enter. They saw the deathly pale Josh lying on the floor. The paramedics started CPR to Josh when they realize he isn't breathing. Chris froze and thought of the worst. Josh is leaving him.

 

When the paramedics carted Jost to the hospital, Chris notice a paper clutch in Josh hands. He read it.

 

The operation was touch and go, and the doctors advice him to let Josh stay, not to go to school anymore. He did it. Filling Josh leave of absence in the meantime as he wanted his son to decided when he wakes up. Almost all his life, he just wanted his son to live longer, be with him longer and maybe have his own family. And yet time doesnt permit them.

---

 

"Excuse me, i think i've given you enough time to say your peace with my son. He trust you and let's you in his life, and yet you leave him despite knowing how frail he is. You left him despite him trusting you to be his 'only' friend. So please, Josh needs rest. Leave and never come back. Let him be."

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

"Excuse me, i think i've given you enough time to say your peace with my son. He trust you and let's you in his life, and yet you leave him despite knowing how frail he is. You left him despite him trusting you to be his 'only' friend. So please, Josh needs rest. Leave and never come back. Let him be."

 

Antonee stood up and said to Josh father "I left him, because I love him... I want him to be happy... we are both man and I don't know if he will be happy being with me... I want to be at his side but when he said that he will go to the doctor alone after my confession, it was like... Ah,,, you don't need me,,, Ah,,, I know you don't want to answer me... I jump to conclusion and escape the reality. The time that I heard about what happen It almost kill me hearing what happen my heart stop... please Mr. Evans... Entrust your son to me and I will promise to love him, make him happy with my all, and I will never leave him again" Antonee kneel and cry in front of Mr. Evans.

 

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

"It's for Josh to decide. I don't care about genders so long as he is important to Josh." Chris sat beside his son's bed and stroke his head. Ignoring Antonee's kneeling plead. For him, Antonee lost his chance. Josh doesnt have second chance in life. So he build a wall between him and the rest of the people and things and isolate himself, and yet the person who worm his way in, is this whiny boy. Chris doesnt like that. "Hmm," Jish groans under his oxygen mask and Chris jolt. "Hey son, how are you feeling?"

"Dad, i heard it all... pl..pleas let us talk. I'll be fine." Josh voice was throaty and hoarse. He looks worn out but he wanted to speak to Antonee, and Chrisdoesnt have the right to intervene. How Josh spend his last remaining time is upto him.

 

Chris kiss Josh forehead and walked out, ignoring Antonee. Josh reach his hands shakily at Antonee.. "I have to tell you something... I love you Antonee." A tear fell from his eye.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

"I love you too Josh!" Antonee grab Josh hands and cry as he said "I love you, I love you, I love you Josh!... I don't care whether they like me or not if they accept me or not as long as you say that you love me... I can ignore anything I will stay by your side so please be good Josh I'll stay by your side so please don't cry anymore..." as he wipe Josh tears away and kissed his for head and hold Josh hands as if he will never let it go.

 

Antonee tell Josh that he was really sorry for leaving him and promised that he will never leave him again. "I love you Josh" as he feel asleep holding Josh hands, he lost a lot of stamina crying and begging.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

The both of them fell asleep both reloef and exhaustion. Chris was just behind the door and he heard everything. Sighing an exhaparated sigh, he just shook hs head and walked away. Now Josh has somebody he loves. He is not sure whether or not that it's a good thing.

 

Josh was woken up by the sound of the metals clinking at a pan. The doctors were checking his vitals when he realized that the nurses where blushing abit. Apparently, Antonee and him fell asleep holding hands, and they still are. Josh, quickly withdrew his hands and shook Antonee. Finding an excuse his waking up Antonee, Josh said "Hey, can you please fetch me something good to read, maybe a new release of manga? And my ipod at home?" He was blushing beet red, cause he just blurted out in front of the doctors and nurses that they live together.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

"Hmmm Oh... your a wake already Josh!" Antonee said and Kissed Josh at his forehead. "Your really cute Josh! I'll ask my butler for your request I will not leave your side, like I said before...!" Antonee added and smile at Josh teasingly, he knew that Josh was really shy but he don't care about other people, so he want to show Josh how much he love's him. The doctor and nurse's blushed by Antonee's action and words they are really touch.

 

Antonee sits on the couch to let the doctor and nurses do there job. The nurse's cant help but look at them "they's really handsome, I wish I can be there apple of the eye", "I like antonee's eye they're like talking, make me wanna strip!" the nurses giggles and murmur". After the doctor checked Antonee hold Josh hands. "please don't let go of me again!, I don't care what they will think of me I love you ok!" he said and blushed.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

Josh cheeks warm with embarassment and he held his chest so tightly, the surprises and sudden burst of affection is not good for him. "Young man, i know kids these days are affectionate and all, but Josh has a heart disease, so you might wanna slow down." The doctor chuckled and proceed checking Josh's chart. "Antonee, please leave the room for a bit. The doctors will check up on me and,... im really shy. " Josh plead Antonee with such meek voice, hoping Antonee will understand him.

 

The truth is, Josh just wanted to talk to the doctorsbout something sensitive. And that is - sex -

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

"Oh, sorry I guest I'll be going to a stroll for a moment, please take care of Josh and be gentle!" he smiled and wave his hands at Josh with a teasing look.

 

Antonee walked out the room and laughing "Josh is really cute when he blushed, I really like his face when he blushed like that. So this is love, I'm happy I was in love with such a cute person" he smiled and walk. Every one at the hospital looked at him and murmured

 

"Oh, did you see him so cute..."

 

"But he looked so happy!"

 

"May be he visited his GF, Oh such a waist I wish I was his GF... K"ayyy!"

 

He did not bother about him and looked at the flower shop near the hospital. "Can I have a Red Rose please!" he said and smile. He bought a dozen of Roses for Josh. "I wish he will like it, as much as I like him!" he said and chuckle.

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[Rhye_Meow]

"I'm sorry to tell you but that is an impossibility a of this moment." The doctor bluntly answered his question , shattering his delusion. He knew well that he can't have a normal relationship with Antonee. It's only natural that he will wanna touch and be intimate with him. "Dont be sad, if we go through the prognosis, you will have a chance." The doctor said. He nodded and smile. It's true, this is not the time to be sad. He is inlove with someone who loves him back. And that is enough.

 

His dad said goodbye for now cause he will fetch some clothes and settle a few things at work. Chris was not happy because he does not approved of Antonees wishy washy attitude,but for now he decided to just leave it be. Josh wanted to wait for Antonee but shortly after, Josh fell asleep, hands at his chest and a smile on his face.

 

 

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

[yukino kyo]

"I'm sorry to tell you but that is an impossibility a of this moment."

 

Antonee accidentally heard the conversation between Josh and the doctor, but he keep quiet. He knew Josh is a sensitive person so he just stay outside and wait till they finish there talk. He saw the doctor and Josh dad went out side he just bow for respect for he knew that Josh dad was not in a good mood when it come's to him.

 

Antonee entered the room after the nurse went out and saw Josh sleeping. "You really looked like an angle when your like that... Ah my cute angle... my beloved angle... " he said softly and kissed Josh gently. He stood up and put the flowers on the vase. "I wish you will like the flower" he said and sit near Josh and fell a sleep also.

 

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.