24 Signs You Are SAF (Single As F#%K)

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24 Signs You Are SAF (Single As F#%K)

 

|c| Kovie Biakolo

 

Dedicated to people who're single. No One. Zero. Nada.

 

1.

You get irrationally angry at any sort of PDA. Even innocent hand-holding sends you into a fit of rage.

 

2.

Going on Facebook for longer than 90 seconds hurts your soul because you inevitably will run into couple-loving TMI, which makes you nauseated.

 

3.

Additionally, 90% of the people you’ve “hidden” from your Facebook News Feed are couples newly engaged and/or newly married.

 

4.

When someone you think is attractive tells you you’re attractive, you send a friend a variation of the following text: “X person just called me hott. Repeat: X person just called me hott. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?”

 

5.

Nobody texts you past 10 p.m. Like not even the booty call you usually turn down. No one. Zero. Nada.

 

6.

Your parents, friends, colleagues, and classmates have stopped asking about your love life altogether. They all know the answer.

 

7.

Every wedding invitation starts to feel like someone is making fun of you.

 

8.

In fact, any invitation to anything that may require you to be in attendance with a plus one brings a special kind of mental anguish that can only be solved with pre-gaming before said event. (And if said event does not have an open-bar, you are NOT going. Or at least bringing a flask.)

 

9.

Also, you’ve forgotten what it feels like to be hit on. “Why are you staring at me? Have I got something on my face? I need to go home and never leave my bed and Netflix ever again.”

 

10.

You’ve developed a special relationship with a specific kind of alcoholic beverage. It may or may not be $6 at Trader Joe’s.

 

11.

But also, Tequila is holding a special place in your heart these days. To you, it isn’t just liquor, it’s a way of life.

 

12.

You’re either working out too much or have entirely given up on the gym. THESE ABS ARE FOR ME AND ME ALONE BABY! (Or this chub is for me and me alone baby!)

 

13.

You passionately and regularly karaoke to “You Can’t Hurry Love” or “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” in the shower.

 

14.

You go through extremities of being overdressed in the hope of finding someone at a dive bar; and looking like a creature that crawled out of the compost post of someone’s winter garden because well, no one to impress anyway.

 

15.

Watching Rom-Coms feels like a form of cruel punishment. LIARS. LOVE DOES NOT HAPPEN TO EVERYONE OKAY? Can I get a movie about a single girl who dies in her apartment and gets eaten by rats?

 

16.

Speaking of, you know that if anything were ever to happen to you, you would probably get eaten by rats before anyone found out. Or your mother would be the first to know.

 

17.

You look forward to Internet quizzes about which hot celebrity you’re supposed to be with.

 

18.

Rolling your eyes at any love song on the radio has become a reflex action.

 

19.

You’ve started looking forward to the cat-calls from the homeless guys in your neighborhood. Attention is attention is attention.

 

20.

A perfectly clean apartment has become a pipe dream. Whatever. No one apart from your non-judgmental friends will ever see it anyway.

 

21.

People talk about going through “dry spells.” Your whole life feels like a dry spell.

 

22.

Dating sites and apps that you swore you’d run over hot coals twice before using, are actually starting to sound appealing.

 

23.

At this point, your standards have been reduced to, “Anyone with a pulse.”

 

24.

Being called single doesn’t do you justice. “SAF” does. If you could fill out forms with “SAF,” you would. It’s perfect, it’s honest, and it is what it is. Now pass the tequila.

 

 

 

 

 

so which is true and which is not? No.17 doesn't apply on me.

[BlueNeon]

1. You get irrationally angry at any sort of PDA. Even innocent hand-holding sends you into a fit of rage.

Not really.

2. Going on Facebook for longer than 90 seconds hurts your soul because you inevitably will run into couple-loving TMI, which makes you nauseated.

Ahaha,not my soul.

3. Additionally, 90% of the people you’ve “hidden” from your Facebook News Feed are couples newly engaged and/or newly married.

Nope.

4. When someone you think is attractive tells you you’re attractive, you send a friend a variation of the following text: “X person just called me hott. Repeat: X person just called me hott. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?”

Neither this.

5. Nobody texts you past 10 p.m. Like not even the booty call you usually turn down. No one. Zero. Nada.

I actually receive most of calls and messages during the night. Too many owls out there. xD

6. Your parents, friends, colleagues, and classmates have stopped asking about your love life altogether. They all know the answer.

They actually ask me frequently.

7. Every wedding invitation starts to feel like someone is making fun of you.

Oh,man,weddings. Better than any comedy movies. xD

8. In fact, any invitation to anything that may require you to be in attendance with a plus one brings a special kind of mental anguish that can only be solved with pre-gaming before said event. (And if said event does not have an open-bar, you are NOT going. Or at least bringing a flask.)

Neeeh.

9. Also, you’ve forgotten what it feels like to be hit on. “Why are you staring at me? Have I got something on my face? I need to go home and never leave my bed and Netflix ever again.”

Can't forget something like this.

10. You’ve developed a special relationship with a specific kind of alcoholic beverage. It may or may not be $6 at Trader Joe’s.

"Police!Hands in the air,don't move!" xD

11. But also, Tequila is holding a special place in your heart these days. To you, it isn’t just liquor, it’s a way of life.

Not a way of life...

12. You’re either working out too much or have entirely given up on the gym. THESE ABS ARE FOR ME AND ME ALONE BABY! (Or this chub is for me and me alone baby!)

Nope.

13. You passionately and regularly karaoke to “You Can’t Hurry Love” or “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” in the shower.

Too busy to sing..

14. You go through extremities of being overdressed in the hope of finding someone at a dive bar; and looking like a creature that crawled out of the compost post of someone’s winter garden because well, no one to impress anyway.

No.

15. Watching Rom-Coms feels like a form of cruel punishment. LIARS. LOVE DOES NOT HAPPEN TO EVERYONE OKAY? Can I get a movie about a single girl who dies in her apartment and gets eaten by rats?

LOL,no.

16. Speaking of, you know that if anything were ever to happen to you, you would probably get eaten by rats before anyone found out. Or your mother would be the first to know.

XD Nope.

17. You look forward to Internet quizzes about which hot celebrity you’re supposed to be with.

Wha-?!No.

18. Rolling your eyes at any love song on the radio has become a reflex action.

No.

19. You’ve started looking forward to the cat-calls from the homeless guys in your neighborhood. Attention is attention is attention.

No.

20. A perfectly clean apartment has become a pipe dream. Whatever. No one apart from your non-judgmental friends will ever see it anyway.

No.

21. People talk about going through “dry spells.” Your whole life feels like a dry spell.

Nope.LOL,I'm so negative. =)) xD.

22. Dating sites and apps that you swore you’d run over hot coals twice before using, are actually starting to sound appealing.

Never.

23. At this point, your standards have been reduced to, “Anyone with a pulse.”

Hm..no.

24. Being called single doesn’t do you justice. “SAF” does. If you could fill out forms with “SAF,” you would. It’s perfect, it’s honest, and it is what it is. Now pass the tequila.

....Not sure if ' SAF ' does. However,guess I'm single and happy.

[Miss RED]

15 suits me better. Gory stories and actions are more fun!

[Sloan]

6 and 16, lol

I don't understand number 21?

 

 

 

Interesting read... some of them are funny.

Well I'm SAF because

 

Communication Barrier

Zero confidence in myself

Hermit, never going out

Straight sex makes me nauseated

[Black Rose]

1. You get irrationally angry at any sort of PDA. Even innocent hand-holding sends you into a fit of rage.

I mostly get irritated and/or annoyed.

 

2. Going on Facebook for longer than 90 seconds hurts your soul because you inevitably will run into couple-loving TMI, which makes you nauseated.

I don't have a fb xD

 

3. Additionally, 90% of the people you’ve “hidden” from your Facebook News Feed are couples newly engaged and/or newly married.

Don't have fb

 

4. When someone you think is attractive tells you you’re attractive, you send a friend a variation of the following text: “X person just called me hott. Repeat: X person just called me hott. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?”

Yea, I do this when a guy I like does this xD

 

5. Nobody texts you past 10 p.m. Like not even the booty call you usually turn down. No one. Zero. Nada.

Only 2 people text me past 10pm...but they're friends, not booty calls xDDDDD

 

6. Your parents, friends, colleagues, and classmates have stopped asking about your love life altogether. They all know the answer.

Yup xD

 

7. Every wedding invitation starts to feel like someone is making fun of you.

Don't get invited to them xDDDDDD mostly cause no one is getting married xD

 

8. In fact, any invitation to anything that may require you to be in attendance with a plus one brings a special kind of mental anguish that can only be solved with pre-gaming before said event. (And if said event does not have an open-bar, you are NOT going. Or at least bringing a flask.)

Not old enough to drink T^T but I would do that xD

 

9. Also, you’ve forgotten what it feels like to be hit on. “Why are you staring at me? Have I got something on my face? I need to go home and never leave my bed and Netflix ever again.”

SO TRUE!

 

10. You’ve developed a special relationship with a specific kind of alcoholic beverage. It may or may not be $6 at Trader Joe’s.

Not yet xD

 

11. But also, Tequila is holding a special place in your heart these days. To you, it isn’t just liquor, it’s a way of life.

I do like tequila, but it doesn't hold a special place in my heart yet xD

 

12. You’re either working out too much or have entirely given up on the gym. THESE ABS ARE FOR ME AND ME ALONE BABY! (Or this chub is for me and me alone baby!)

Does swinging at the playground everyday for 1-1.5 hrs non-stop count as too much? *dead serious*

 

13. You passionately and regularly karaoke to “You Can’t Hurry Love” or “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” in the shower.

 

No...but i imagine what it would be like to ya know~ have a bf xDDDD *dies*

 

 

14. You go through extremities of being overdressed in the hope of finding someone at a dive bar; and looking like a creature that crawled out of the compost post of someone’s winter garden because well, no one to impress anyway.

Nope xDD

 

15. Watching Rom-Coms feels like a form of cruel punishment. LIARS. LOVE DOES NOT HAPPEN TO EVERYONE OKAY? Can I get a movie about a single girl who dies in her apartment and gets eaten by rats?

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD No

 

16. Speaking of, you know that if anything were ever to happen to you, you would probably get eaten by rats before anyone found out. Or your mother would be the first to know.

...probably true >______>

 

17. You look forward to Internet quizzes about which hot celebrity you’re supposed to be with.

Change it to anime characters xDDDDDDDD

 

18. Rolling your eyes at any love song on the radio has become a reflex action.

Not yet

 

19. You’ve started looking forward to the cat-calls from the homeless guys in your neighborhood. Attention is attention is attention.

NO!

 

20. A perfectly clean apartment has become a pipe dream. Whatever. No one apart from your non-judgmental friends will ever see it anyway.

Yup...even though my mom is b*tching at me to clean my room xD

 

21. People talk about going through “dry spells.” Your whole life feels like a dry spell.

Mostly true. There are some moments where it doesn't feel like one

 

22. Dating sites and apps that you swore you’d run over hot coals twice before using, are actually starting to sound appealing.

NO! Dx

 

23. At this point, your standards have been reduced to, “Anyone with a pulse.”

Nope

 

24. Being called single doesn’t do you justice. “SAF” does. If you could fill out forms with “SAF,” you would. It’s perfect, it’s honest, and it is what it is. Now pass the tequila.

I don't know xD

[ukemextreme]

Not everything on the list applies to me but only 15, 20, and 24. Because I'm still young lmao but still, I think I'll be SAF hahaha

[M1st3rSk3l3t0n]

Dammit, Im SAF!!! X3

[ruzeiru]

Man. . The "feels" are flo0ding me like crazy!!

 

Hahaha SAF tag on even at the age of 25