Shards of Sanity 「PRIVATE RP」 Phanto feat. Saga

[Saga]

Masato didn't really do anything about the male falling and hitting himself. He just...was back to his "normal" self. As he followed Hsin, he got off the bed. Completely flattened and due to understandable reasons. He didn't feel in fact anything right now. He glanced down the pathetic male, foot stepped on Lou's back as Haru lowered down - voice off emotions,

- Butterfly? You must be kidding me. Let me show you what I did with butterflies.

 

In the the night-table's drawer there was a silver knife; one of Haru's favorites. The male didn't remove his foot, he completely pinned the other.

 

Blue eyes colder than ice glanced back Lou, with a swing he stabbed the knife into the male's palm - fully piercing through it.

- You don't want wings, be my guest. You think you're special? I could have fucked a whore better, oh... - he paused with sarcastic note, - Pardon me, you are one. Say, how many you fucked with? I bet you can't even recall the last one you had coming on you.

 

Masato retreated his foot and scooped his shirt off the bed; with emotionless face he went out the room, spreading shirt to put it on. As soon as he got on the first floor,he got his keys for the car.

 

It was partly good, being himself again. He just pushed the pain deep within, as he always did.

[Phanto77]

A scream tore from Hsin as the knife went through his left hand. But it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. The man just left.

 

He didn't know how long it was until the old man, Lee, was at the door. His eyes widened at the sight and he rushed over. "Good heavens. What did he do?" He grabbed a first aid kit from the bathroom and started mending the hand of a writhing Hsin.

 

---------

 

Once everything had calmed down, Lee helped Hsin to the bed. He pitied the man, naked filled with bruises and bite marks, a knife hole in his hand as well. All Harukami's work, he knew.

 

"What happened, child?"

 

"He, um, he told me he… loved me."

 

"What?"

 

"I said that too. And… much more."

 

"Did you reject him?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Did you hurt him?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then God help you, child. He'll not be merciful. And he'll never let you go."

 

"B-but you can. Please Mr. Lee, I am no good here."

 

"I can't, child. I'm sorry. His word is law here. Maybe the faster you adapt to your new home, the easier it will be, yes?"

 

"Home? I don't belong here."

 

"He believes you're his, Doctor. There's nothing either of us can do about it. You belong where he says you belong." He said those words with a heavy heart, wanting to weep for the young man before him, as the young man himself began to. Poor child. But Haru loves him, so there is hope. He hoped.

[Saga]

The old man sighed heavily at the sight of that broken man, he was too young to be this sad but then it reminded him of Haru. Probably there was something true behind Haru's words, they were alike. Lee lowered his gaze, unfortunately - that mad mind of Masato was always right despite its psychopathy and eccentric ways, that knew no border of even madness.

 

Mr. Tang sat next to Lou and poured the other some water that was set near the table. He gently passed the glass with his head slightly bowing - before anything, Lee knew manners

 

- He wasn't like that before, Doctor. - saddened his voice completed the sad gaze, - I suppose you despise him from the bottom of your heart, but Haru..I mean, Mr. Zhang to me is like a child.

 

Lee retreated his hands to cup them on his lap, memories flipping through his minds like an old recorded movie.

- He lost his parents are early age, then he closed himself. He probably spend more time in the garden than the gardener himself. - Tang chuckled lightly, recalling something, - Who would believe that even birds landed on him like he was a tree. I suppose it was because he lacked ... - Lee paused -..he lacked what the wild feared in humans-emotions,greed,envy and so on. He was one with the wild.

 

Tang didn't speak just to make the male sympathize with Masato; he neither did it to justify the man.

- However, as one with nature he feared humans, too. Mostly his uncle. That man knew no love. And I despised myself for being so weak, so insignificant..because when Haru screamed and cried for help, we all pretended we didn't hear.

 

Lee's old and tired eyes watered as he took a deep sigh, he was just confessing his ignorance to Lou.

- Money have that power to shut people, to make them blind. The police didn't even move a finger even when Masato tried to speak and find help. All doors were shut for him. And then that night...

 

Tang paused and ashamed he looked away.

[Phanto77]

"Like all the doors are shut for me, now?"

 

Hsin was curious, however. "What happened?"

[Saga]

Tang just nodded with head and another sigh escaped.

- Why do you think he kills only men? Because we only watched -bodyguards,butlers,secretaries, at least the maids showed their mother-side whenever he was alone. If you can call sleeping with him..a mother side. - Lee's voice lowered showing a visible disagreement to what has happened before.

 

- That night his uncle lost some big parcel to a rival company. And he needed a big sum of money. That sum was actually near him whenever he wished, Masato. His mother had equal percentage of inheritance with his uncle, the heirs of Harukami clan. However, Masato couldn't touch the money until legal age, but if something happened to him - the uncle could have the money.

 

Lee paused, frowning at the memories.

- It wasn't the first time when he tried to kill him. Poisons, drugs and many more inhuman actions. However, that back then was the most inhuman thing I saw. Call it unfortunate or not, but I was the one who had to call Harukami in his uncle's cabinet. I called that boy to have his body stabbed over and over. And because his uncle was drunk enough or unlucky enough, he couldn't stab vital place. And then in the wrestling they had, he tried to strangle Harukami. Haru...his blue eyes looked up at me.., so sad and so empty. I saw his hand reaching mutely and quietly for the knife on floor while his uncle was in his own anger and rage, but still.. I didn't do anything. I just looked away and left it be. I let him choose whether to be a murderer or a corpse. - the old man rubbed his nose to hide his tears as looked down.

 

- I suppose you can see the outcome of what I did. And because it was me who was there, who called him and who watched him bath in his own blood... Haru left me alive. He killed all other, one by one, years after years, but he left me alive. Sometimes I believe it's not out of pity that I am old..but as a punishment. Even so, I am still fond of that kid, doctor. And I still believe that the old Haru... - Mr. Tang fell silent. He wasn't an expert. It could be that lil' Haru he knew was long gone but even so he could hope, couldn't he?

[Phanto77]

Answers. finally answers. He knew, his profession being what it was, that there was always a reason. None of that 'I did it because it made me feel good' crap. That may be, but the pattern always had a reason. One more reason to hate psychological thrillers from hollywood. That and the psychiatrist is always a busty blond woman.

 

Hsin looked at the other man, and felt more pity for him than for Harukami. It was one thing to do, and a whole other thing to watch. Watch and do nothing, because you can only do nothing.

 

"You're right, Mr. Lee. I do hate him. But not with all my heart. With all my mind. Just like I can't love with my heart, I can't hate either. No one is worthy of it. No one. But now I understand. Understanding smothers the fires of hate." Maybe.

 

He realised he was still naked, but for once there were so many grievances, he hardly gave a damn.

[Saga]

Tang smiled up a bit saddened but then again he wasn't happy that the only person Haru came to love hated him so passionately. The old man rose from the chair and bowed lightly,

- I will leave you rest for tonight, doctor. Thank you for hearing me out. I know Haru wouldn't ask you that, but if you, as a professional, want to cure his mind - do so. May be then, he might release you.

 

Lee moved shakily out the room and left silence behind.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Meanwhile Haru was already in some night club. The male was so messy. His shirt wasn't completely buttoned, and from the rush he barely buttoned the last button of his pants, which actually gave him that sexy image - despite him being a psychopath. His long and dark hair freely falling over shoulders down to his waist.

 

- Hey there, gorgeous. - some heavy-make-up woman put her hand on Haru's shoulder once he sat on the bar to order, - Want to have fun?

 

Masato was such a mess that the less he needed was some whore flirting with him. But what? Why not? His blue eyes glanced over her, empty and cold - they said women desired mysterious and cold men. How foolish, he thought.

 

The long haired male leaned forth and locked lips with hers. It was just as a reply to her offer.

[Phanto77]

It had been three days since the incident. For the first one, he was bored out of his mind. Lee kept him company as much as he could but he also had a job. Not once was Hsin allowed out of the mansion for any reason. Anything he needed was brought to him. Even some wings of the house were off limits and people everywhere were watching him. Some even following him. It drove Hsin crazy.

 

He asked Lee for some books and papers and they arrived faster than lightening. So that's what he did for the next couple days. Sleep, eat, read. Also, he was not allowed to sleep anywhere but Harukami's room. First the bodyguards tried to force him, but when that didn't work, Lee tried asking. And it actually worked.

 

The brute stopped by once to "check on him".

 

"How you doin', Doc?" he said, still chewing on that gum.

 

"I told you not to come here anymore."

 

"Nah, see, Doc. Unlike you, I can go where I like."

 

Hsin showed no sing of acknowledgement, but God did that statement hurt. It hurt to hear and know it was true.

 

"Get out. Now."

 

"Alright, but remember words. If you give me trouble…" Smiling, he heard the voice. And it wasn't Hsin's.

 

"You'll do what?"

[Saga]

Haru was exhausted. For the past few days he kept working, then drinking and sleeping with whoever it was. It was too much to take, meeting Lou right now. He didn't want to see these eyes that showed hatred and refusal. It hurt less when he was stabbed by his uncle, that was something completely else - the ache in his chest.

 

Walking down the corridor, to take a shower in some of the guest's rooms, he saw one of his bodyguards freely walking into his bedroom - where Lou was supposed to be. Masato tilted his chin and paused his step. That really ticked him off, especially the arrogant way the bodyguard chewed on his gum, like a camel.

 

With tired and slow steps he made his way to the bedroom, the door was opened but the males inside were with back turned at Haru; not to mention how 'busy' they were exchanging some words.

 

I told you not to come here anymore.

 

Nah, see, Doc. Unlike you, I can go where I like.

 

Haru frowned at the statement; it was partly true, but never he said the idiots can come and go freely in that room. What that room was? Some brothel!?

 

Get out. Now.

 

Alright, but remember words. If you give me trouble…

 

Masato leaned with his shoulder on the door's side, crossing arms in front of chest. The white long coat hopped over his tall figure, he was in no mood.

 

- You'll do what?

 

The bodyguard got so startled when saw the boss' face that he swallowed his gum right away,

- Sir!

- Get lost, or I will make sure you won't ever be able to walk.

 

The man needed not a second invitation. He hurried and dashed out the room. When the bodyguard was shoulder to shoulder with Masato, the long haired male reached hand to grab onto the male's arm and pulled him close,whispering

- If you enter once again that room, I will eat your rotten eyeballs. Got me right?

The bodyguard nodded quickly and the moment he was released, he disappeared.

 

Haru didn't even glance at Lou; with a rock off the door's side, he moved his ass to get lost as well.

[Phanto77]

Hsin watched the events happening before him with polite, hidden curiosity and then went back to his book.

 

He said the same words he said before, but this time not unkindly. "Oh, you again."

[Saga]

With his step about to turn and leave, he heard to mocking and cold words. It was worse than telling you to get lost. Masato paused to slightly shift his chin to side, but not looking over shoulder.

 

- Good afternoon to you as well, Doctor. - and suddenly he put a wall. Not a glance, nor a call of name. He made Lou just like a stranger in the room. A stranger he didn't know the name of, rather he didn't want to recall it.

 

He moved and continued his routine - the shower. It was actually the reason to come back. To take a calming bathtub, not these quick showers in motels after he fucked some whore. The ball in his stomach and thorns in throat; probably he wasn't the only one who wished to never have met Lou. Most likely, Lou wished it more - which hurt even more.

[Phanto77]

Hsin watched the man shuffle around the room. He was sulking. And he watched Harukami with a light smile tugging his lips.

 

He asked genuinely, "Have you enjoyed your time away?"

[Saga]

The long coat was dropped down the floor, the shirt came after that. Actually the same shirt he had a few days ago - stinking of different odors and cigarette smokes, not to mention to lipsticks over it.

 

Once he was shirtless and his pants unbuttoned, he made his way to the bathroom.

 

Have you enjoyed your time away?

 

.. Was he mocking him now? Masato took everything in the negative away, whatever it came from Lou's lips. He flicked a mocking 'heh' of lips, to pause with his back turned at Lou.

- But yes, of course. If you ever have the time, you should visit the Shanghai's red district. They serve well there. - it was a mock. Two reasons, Lou would never be let outside, not to mention Haru wouldn't even allow him to sleep with some whore from the red district.

 

The tall male walked in the bathroom, slamming the door behind. So frustrating it felt, everything .. whatever it was.

[Phanto77]

Hsin didn't know what came over him.

 

He laughed. He laughed and and laughed, the chuckles getting louder, until there were tears in his eyes.

 

"I've lost my mind." He said loudly not caring if anyone heard him.

[Saga]

Sinking in the bathtub, he heard the male. Each chuckle, each laughter and the words that followed. His elbow guided on the tub's sill to have his cheek on knuckles,

- Now you know, Lou. You know what my mind feels like. Being curious about me would drive you insane. - with quite voice he mumbled under nose. It was true.

 

Blue eyes slid close, regretting the past month. For over 10 years he never regretted anything, but for some weeks he regretted everything. With his back leaning against the bathtub, he watched the water tap filling the tub. His hand under the water, stroked over the scar on his side - it took him away from the present. He preferred to sink in his horrible memories, than listening to Lou.

[Phanto77]

"Hello, Doctor."

 

"Hello, Mr. Lee. How's your morning?"

 

"Lovely, child. And yours?"

 

"Well, I can walk now. But I still ache a bit, and I'm a little stiff."

 

"It gets easier."

 

"Does it?"

 

Lee chuckled heartily, like he hadn't in years. "No. Are you kidding?"

[Saga]

Tang's voice suddenly lured Masato's attention. Why the old man was familiar and friendly with Hsin? Haru frowned as in the bathtub, regretting another thing - that he came back. He could have showered in the office in the company, too.

 

Like a kid, he slid down the bathtub to wet his long hair. It floated inside the tub like black silk stripes around him, his eyes staring at the ceiling. Should he forbid Lee talking to Lou? He started wondering.

[Phanto77]

"Grumpy's back."

 

"I know, child. Are you gonna be ok?"

 

"He's not talking much, so I'll just sit here and do whatever I've been doing for the past two days."

 

"Don't agitate him, Doctor."

 

"You needn't worry about me, Mr. Lee. I'll be fine." He chuckled. "It's me he shouldn't be agitating."

 

Again the other man laughed at the obvious joke.

[Saga]

That was frustrating. He was jealous and not even realizing it. After all, Lou treated him like the most lowest being, but yet Tang was so close with him. That was ticking him off. With a sudden rise from the bathtub, he reached for the towel to wrap around waist. Not agitating him!? He was already agitated! As he stomped out the bathtub completely, he slipped - muscles contracted and he leaned on the sink - completely. Which actually ... poor sink, to be honest. Having the weight of such a tall man that wasn't like a feather - broke the sink. With a blank stare, he thought how ridiculous things became. Now what to say? He was angry and he tripped and broke the sink? ...Though why he would explain?

 

With a hand he removed some hair strands off face, to compose self. The noise he made probably got the males startled. He could blame that ridiculous situation to his madness, yes? That was a plus, being a psychopath. Or was he? He rolled eyes; who on earth was a psychopath that slipped in the bathroom and broke a sink because jealous of some 60-years-old man!?

 

With a pull, he opened the door. Silence.

.

.

.

.

 

- I broke the sink. Call someone to fix it.

 

 

Straight face, no explanation. He just moved out the room once he got clothes. No way to spend another minute in his hilarious situation with the males. As for Tang...he could talk later with him.

 

"What the hell am I doing!?" , he thought.

[Phanto77]

Hsin and Lee were trying there best not to laugh and it was a huge effort. He was sulking. Like a teenager.

 

"I better go get someone to fix the sin, Doctor. Will you call me if you need anything else?"

 

"Um, sure. Thanks for your help, Mr. Lee."

 

It took all his energy not to giggle, let alone laugh, at the older man crossing his eyes.

[Saga]

Already fixed and "renewed", Lou was buttoning his shirt's sleeve button when met Lee in the corridor on his way out.

- Going out, Mr Zhang?

- Yes, I am.

- Should I call the driver?

- No, I will take my car. And, Lee... - Haru paused to look over the male.

- Yes, sir?

- I advice you to not be so close with the doctor. Don't make me forbid you communicating with him.

 

Nothing else he had to say, so he left the house for the rest of the day.

 

Lee stared at the space, not getting at all what Haru meant.

- What does he mean?

[Phanto77]

No one came to the room for hours. Hsin could see that nighttime was coming in. And he saw and heard no one.

 

What was going on, he wondered.

[Saga]

Hours passed, nothing productive he did today - like for the past few days. The male was in some bar, drinking his mind away. Having the weight of genius mind was hard, all kind of thoughts could pass you. So he just preferred to shut it up for now, alcohol was a better pick than drugs.

 

In the taxi he didn't recall calling, he heard the giggle of some woman - she looked happy. Happy.., he looked to side, blue eyes distant.

- Zhang~ - she called him that, then it meant only one. She got to know he was rich and famous; no wonder she took him off the bar. Even in drunk state he could tell she was after the money, besides the sex. Sex was her daily routine, but big fat money - not so much.

 

The woman caressed his lips, he didn't care much.

- Let's have fun~ - she hummed as the taxi stopped before Masato's residence. The bodyguards gathered to check the car, and they saw their boss - so they helped him out the car and of course no one touched the woman. If the boss brought woman, then he needed woman.

 

She stuck to him like a gum, nuzzling into his arm.

[Phanto77]

Sleeping on his book, he heard a noise. Giggling.

 

The fuck was going on? He wondered. Then he heard a thud. And he gave it no heed.

[Saga]

Being in the corridor in that quiet house, everything could be heard. Mainly the woman's giggles and flirts, though Haru was numb to them. She had the tall man pinned against the wall when suddenly she went in mood to give him a blowjob. Masato frowned, not quite adaptive to the alcohol but still in his right mind to not want it in the corridor - but go explain to a whore.

 

The woman unzipped his pants, rubbing with her skilled hands Haru's crotch. Being in the house made him recalled how he held Lou, and his moans drummed in Masato's head.