Shards of Sanity 「PRIVATE RP」 Phanto feat. Saga

[Phanto77]

He looked at the other man wistfully. His nerves of steel were honed by years of experience. Of dealing with his kind. So he played his usual part.

 

His deduction was somewhat impressive. But the man did not know that Hsin was centred. At peace. Miserable, sure. Misery like no man will know, but not over her. The exact opposite, in fact.

 

His eyes bored into the other man's, cold as iron. "She is gone. Expendable. Like you and me. Well, more so, you." He looked at the stub be out cigarette. "Aw, too bad. You'll not get another."

 

"So tell me, Mr. Harukami. What did you do to this Misarou Hajime?

[Saga]

A grin, very wide one. So wide that it hurt the corner of lips;

 

- Such a big liar, are we? - he raised palm from the ashtray, not really affected by any of the words. But rather tempted by something else.

 

The question about Hajime made him chuckle,

- Ah, I ate him. I think? - with a raise of pitch, his pupils returned to Lou.

[Phanto77]

"I will persuade the officer to provide you with a toothbrush, Mr Harukami. Your teeth are beginning to stain."

 

He decided to play along. "Tell me, oh beacon of truth, what recipe did you use?" He resented being called a liar, but he let it go. Outside this building, Shougo would've earned himself a backhand.

 

He could tell his stoicism was getting to the guy.

[Saga]

He leaned back on his chair, truly quiet. The man disliked idiocy, but more disliked the 'playing dumb' ones.

And suddenly he lost it, the will to play the game. Dancing waltz alone was never fun.

 

Shougo sealed his lips in silence, blankly staring at the man - as if he was watching a pretty boring show on the television.

- Anything else, Doctor? Or you still want to chat with...expendable one such as me? - the man stood his word, he gave a name. And nothing could make say anything more, unless it was tempting for his mind.

[Phanto77]

Hsin rejoiced at the man's sudden reluctance to continue their session. He has removed a layer. He knew not how many more there were, but he had peeled one off.

 

His face passive, he reached for the button again. It was seconds before the officer was in the room. "Officer, please take Mr. Harukami back to his room. We're done here for today."

 

He stood up and straightened his papers.

[Saga]

Once Shougo was patted on shoulder as a sign to get up and be cuffed, Harukami blankly and emptily stood for the lock. His long hair followed his tall figure, making sure that his calm voice was audible enough while he was leaving the room.

 

- 读书须用意，一字值千金. (*When reading, don’t let a single word escape your attention; one word may be worth a thousand pieces of gold.) - said in perfect Mandarin, Harukami left the room.

 

So Chinese wasn't really hard for him, was it? So 'Sin' usage was on purpose. One to wonder, how many things were on purpose.

 

And back to the merciless silence of his, in a room with no light. Just like a beast taken back in the cage. Not like it bothered him. It actually reminded him.

[Phanto77]

He sat back and loosened his tie. The man's mandarin was perfect, the quote even better. He was relieved, so very relieved at the end of this session. He looked at the officer who was back to lead him to his room.

 

"Officer, I'd like to apologise for earlier. I did that for a reason."

 

At his apology, the man smiled. "S'okay, Doctor. No biggie." When they got to his room. "Doctor, I gotta ask you something."

 

"Of course, officer."

 

"You alright about being alone with the nut job? 'Cause…" He hesitated.

 

"What is it, officer?"

 

"After I let you in the room tomorrow, I have to go to HQ. Bomb threat."

 

"And no one can replace you?"

 

"Not until the day after, tops."

 

He took a deep breath. He didn't think Shougo would try anything drastic. He stood in the doorway of his room. "It's alright, officer. It'll be fine. I can handle myself." He watched the man struggle with himself, then nod. "Um, Doctor?"

 

"Yes, officer?"

 

"It's Hijikata. My name", he said, smiling.

 

"Thank you, Mr. Hijikata. I will be as safe as a Yakuza's mansion", he said, smiling back.

 

After the man left, Hsin took off his clothes after he let his locks out of his ponytail. He stared at the door for a while before locking it. He lay down and sunk into a dreamless sleep.

 

---------

 

The next morning was a lovely one. Too bad he couldn't go outside. Hijikata greeted him cheerfully with breakfast and coffee, and after waiting for him to finish, began to lead him to the room.

[Saga]

Tragedies are fruit of monsters; but they say tragedies are beautiful, then so are monsters.

 

Blue eyes stared at the moon, while Shougo was sitting by the windowsill. A few hours has passed since he met Lou, but somehow they felt like ages ago. Probably the time in a freak mind passed too fast, or too slowly? One god knew.

 

They thought he didn't value life, but no. He valued it the most. Head relaxed backwards to rest by the window and eyes slid close.

 

 

-------- 18 years ago --------

 

A rainy day, had it been. A 12-years-old boy that was too skinny for his age, but yet his eyes too deep for his age, stood by the figure of a woman dressed in black. The graveyard was so deserted, whoever funeral it was - it wasn't something fancy or well known. She glanced over the boy and smiled with a hint of anything but sympathy.

 

- Are you okay, Haru-kun? - she turned to side to lower her upper half and peek at the boy's beautiful face,

- I called your uncle yesterday. He said he's going to pick you tomorrow once he arrives from Shanghai.

 

The so called boy was indeed Harukami at the age of 12. His eyes same as ever, like a doll's ones. The boy stared blankly at the gravestones before his eyes.

 

- Look, Haru... I know it's hard, but you should know that your mother and father would like the best for you, and to be happy. So it's better to go to China, to live with your siblings. - the woman pitied the boy. She was one of his mother's best friends and from all friends, only she appeared to care enough to help Haru in that situation. A situation that couldn't be easy for any kid - the loss of parents.

 

The small Harukami looked over her and somehow a very bitter grin tore from his lips. It was as if he knew that happiness wasn't anywhere to be found around him, so the adult looked really foolish with the tries to convince him in the opposite.

 

The day passed really fast, but it took him so much to realize that success was something like a warning for a future downfall. The more successful you got - the harder you fell. The fire that took his parents' lives was one of these 'jokes' of fate. Because happiness wouldn't last for long. And if there was one thing his parents wouldn't wish for - it'd be to be sent to China. There was a reason why his mother never called that man - for he lacked love, compassion and in some aspects humanity. But Harukami already knew that; he knew how ruthless his uncle was but yet no word left his lips.

 

.

.

.

 

A door creaked open and revealed the deceiving smile of the devil. He greeted the woman that took care of Haru for some days.

- I am really thankful for taking care of him.

- No, don't mention it. I am sorry for your loss.

- Yeah, it's going to be hard, but we will manage it. I am sure Harukami will be in the right hands, thank you for contacting me.

And each next word became blur for Harukami's ears. He just stood by the tall figure of his uncle, staring at the far - the garden that was near the house. It was really beautiful.

- But I am really worried about him. He hasn't really spoken even one word after what happened and barely can keep his focus.. Can you contact me once in a while, to give me the buzz on how he's doing?

- Yes, of course.

 

And with a friendly wave they parted ways, but once they got in the car - the atmosphere somehow became darker.

- Drive to the airport. - he was a successful businessman who owned a company in Shanghai, so personal driver was no surprise.

 

The boy though kept staring at the garden even when he was driven away.

- Sit properly. - the man ordered, but the boy was too captured by the garden that seemed already so far.

- Are you deaf or something? Sit properly! - he got angry so easily and tugged Harukami by the arm to slam his skinny body against the seat.

- God. Who would know that whore had a handicapped kid!? I wonder why you didn't die with them in the fire. - mumbling under his nose, the words were pretty stabbing.

 

Over and over again, he had been stabbed by that man - literally and figuratively.

But the tragedy of that boy was never heard, nor he wanted it heard.

 

--------

 

The morning seemed to have come too early for him. Before they awoke Lou, they made sure Harukami was awake and ready for the next 'round'. Shougo was in the so said room, quietly waiting for the wise-ass of a psychologist.

[Phanto77]

"I assure you, I won't be needing it, Off-Hijikata." He tried to push the stun gun the policeman had given him back into his hands, but the man was having none of it.

 

"Please, keep it, Doctor. He's in there unrestrained and you're in this place alone. You're my responsibility. I'd hate for something to happen to you because I wasn't careful. And besides, something happens to you, it's on my head." He was beginning to convince Hsin. "You wouldn't like me to lose my job, would you?"

 

"No, but-"

 

"No buts. You're keeping the gun." He saw Hsin holing the gun like it was dirty. "Look, you just touch it to his neck and stun. Press that button, right there. Nothing to it. You know the door codes, he doesn't. If he tries anything, put him down and leave the room. He'll be in there 'til I get back."

 

Hsin hesitated. "Alright, alright. Just try to be back soon. I hate having that thing near me."

 

Hijikata smiled genuinely. "Thanks, Doctor. I owe you one."

 

He led him to the room where, when they opened the door, Harukami was already waiting. Hijikata made no effort to hide the pure malice in his eyes he directed at Shougo. He looked about ready to throttle the man. He looked at Hijikata and said, "Thank you, Hijikata. That will be all. I will call when I need you."

 

Hijikata seemed to snap out of a haze. "Sure thing, Doctor." He walked out.

 

Hsin put the stun gun on the table, where he could easily reach it, but Harukami couldn't, and then looked at the other man for the first time. "Hello again, Mr. Harukami. I hope our disposition has improved today. Now, tell me. How was your night?"

[Saga]

Things could be almost always hidden by a good psychologist. They could regulate their breathing, control their anger, or whatever emotion it was, manage their expressions - just like dolls. But amateurs, they were something else.

 

The caught-off guard officer was just like an open book. Especially the pitch in his voice. When you've got a psychopath in the room - you don't space out of worry/thoughts/daydreaming - you stay focused, just like the pro, Lou.

"I love amateurs."

 

The moment he saw the stun gun, all fell into place. During their first meeting, the boy was so brave. No chains, no weapons - even the guards stepped out once he ordered. It wasn't a matter if they forced the stun gun onto him because paranoid (hell, their first meeting was so smooth) or that he wanted one just in case the panic button didn't work - in fact, no one's home to hear the panic button, eh. So the lovely bird before his eyes would be left all alone in this love-nest, heh. But of course, it was just a guess of Shougo. For the time being, he'd take his time to see if it was really the case. The long haired man had the same, very same expression as yesterday. And looked just like before with the small extra near his lip corners - seemingly he pissed off some of the guards. A small cut, nothing big.

 

"Hello again, Mr. Harukami. I hope our disposition has improved today. Now, tell me. How was your night?"

- Felt like home, heh. - besides it was a very delicate joke, the best way to say truth was to hide it in the joke. And it wasn't a lie, for sure. Had they known what nights only Harukami had been through. Monsters are for a reason.

 

Shougo had his hand on his lap, gracefully shifting from finger to finger, as if playing on piano. In his mind he played over and over one same melody - "

Please Register/ Sign In, in order to see the links.

" by Michael Ortega. Suddenly his fingers stopped playing as his eyes threw their emptiness at Lou,

- Ready to bargain today, as well? - a small smile humbly found its way on these lips.

[Phanto77]

Hsin put his chin on his intertwined fingers, leaning, elbows perched on the table. He knew the man would not relent until he got something, so he decided to play along.

 

"Very well, Mr. Harukami. I will accommodate. Let it not be known that I am an unreasonable man."

 

He paused. "However, seeing as your morality is questioned here, and mine, well, isn't. You will get what you ask for only after I get what I want. Is that understood?"

[Saga]

He raised a brow almost invisibly, intrigued how well the other bargained.

- Learned from your father? - Shougo shrugged then looked away as popped chest to fix his shirt lightly, - Go ahead, seems lil' boy couldn't make his homework all by himself. So, ask.

[Phanto77]

He completely ignored the man's jab at his familial past. No matter what anyone said, as difficult and strict his father was, he was a good man, husband and a well meaning, if misguided father.

 

"I would like a detailed description of the murder of one of your murders. Make me feel special and give me one you particularly like."

[Saga]

Shougo chuckled unconsciously and put both of his hands on the table, but yet not crossing the black line. It was just to lean a bit forth,

 

- Now. Do I look so dumb to you? - he titled head to side, not just like some exercise, he really looked like a mad dog - If I tell you that, then you'd know about the rest.

 

But of course, he could manage to tell at least one thing.

- But say. Do you know how I choose them? - he leaned back on the chair.

[Phanto77]

Hsin threw his hands up at the question. "Please. Enlighten me."

 

The man was evading his question, that much was clear.

[Saga]

Actually it would be more fun to make the man reach the answer, instead of just plainly handing it to him. Seemingly the other was sarcastically funny, but questions was - for how long?

 

- Essential choice of the rise before the fall. - he shifted his eyes very slightly, as if studying the man before him - Somehow you do fit in that criteria but that's just a facade, isn't it? - he lowered head down to look at the line following its annoying unevenness.

 

- My price for answering whatever you wish for, I'd like to pick it now. - he glanced up - I'd like you to answer to my questions as well, of course ... to possibly available questions that involve my interest. Are you up for the quiz?

[Phanto77]

Hsin quickly and monotonely said, "Thank you for your consideration."

 

"You may ask."

[Saga]

Rejoice, from in and out. The man smiled, but then it was to mock on. He kept his eyes glued to the floor.

- Describe me. How she died.

 

Simple, plain and exact. Nothing unclear and nothing considered as 'a catch'. He calmly listened to the other.

[Phanto77]

"Now, now. Do I look so dumb to you?" He tilted his head as Harukami did. "If I tell you that, then you'd know about the rest." He mimicked the man almost exactly. The look, the tone, the tilt, everything. "But say, do you know how I choose them?"

 

Hsin smiled slightly, even barely a smile. "What have we accomplished? You refused to answer my question, and I returned the favour. Is that not fair?" His voice had grown soft, lower than it usually was. "I can do this all day, Mr. Harukami. I actually get paid for this. Can you believe that? So if you would please answer me adequately, you'll never have to see me again."

[Saga]

"Adorable. Must have hurt much."

Harukami paused his mind for a bit there, glancing over the other. He didn't really show emotion, but was really ticked off for the arrogance the other showed.

 

- Sadly though, you chose nothing in your life, boy. You think you are successful? - he leaned forth, pretty sharply staring at the other and any opposite word that could be turned back at him would not matter - I think just the opposite. You believe your miserable imitation of life is living? Oh, right. - he rose from the chair - They call it 'surviving', don't they?

 

A small pause to grin, but not quite stopping there,

- You think things are fair? Ah, it's good to be young, it's seems. Unfairness is what feeds your damn dejected ram. - no anger could be read in this monotone voice of his, - You wanted to know how, but you never asked why. You see, to get the right answer you gotta ask the right question.

 

A doubtful, but still worth it - he crossed the line with a slight chuckle.

- Not gonna press the button now?

[Phanto77]

Hsin waited for the obviously irritated man to finish. He then stood up and got closer until his thighs pressed against the table. He crossed his arms and replied:

 

"All the questions I asked were the ones I wanted to ask. Jill the Ripper killed men that looked like her father because he cut off her penis. The Prayer Slayer killed people so that they may be put in a position of prayer, to protect him at his bedside. The Gore-met Chef killed and ate his victims because he thought consuming them is an act of love and unification. Why you did what you did is of now consequence to me now." He got closer and rested his knuckles onto the tabletop.

 

"Now, my life, not that it's any of your concern, is just the way I want it to be. You see, my miserable imitation of life is still better than yours. That is how low your life has sunk. After this acquaintance, I get to walk out that door a free man, to do as I please. You, on the other hand, are going to one of two places. I needn't tell you about either. Things are not fair, and I am fully aware of that fact. But things in this room are a give and take, as you so kindly requested. You give and take, I give and take." He stood straight and smiled a tiny smile. "You gave me nothing, I gave you nothing."

 

He then touched the taser on the table lightly. "Now which button exactly would you like me to push?"

[Saga]

During all the talk, Harukami kept grinning. The boy really did bad for opening his mouth. But humans are humans for a reason - give them a push and things happen.

 

He titled his chin, still standing there,

- Ah. As I thought. - he glanced over the stun gun and then back at Lou - That's why you don't fit my criteria.

 

He completely passed by the line, hand over the man's one to lean forth and reach for an ear,

- Because you see... I can sniff the likes of you. - cheek to cheek, the man grinned, - As for walking out of here 'free' - I doubt it. You might walk out of here, but boy, you'd wish to be gone for good.

[Phanto77]

Hsin pulled his hand back quietly. He then stepped back one pace and stared at the other man, eyes boring into his. "Imagine my luck", he said sarcastically, "a serial killer doesn't consider me an eligible victim. Maybe I should go to my six-figure job in the city and cry now."

 

"Your threats mean nothing to me. I will walk out of here fairly soon. My heart was never in this job. I took it as a favour. You don't interest me, nothing about you does. I don't get any answers, you go to prison, or probably get the noose. I get answers, you go to a nice little psychiatric hospital in the country where they give you jelly everyday if you're good. And I will be walking out of here a free man, in whatever manner I wish. Because I have that choice to make."

 

He straightened his clothes, and took a piece of lint off the tucked hem of his shirt. His voice then suddenly turned menacing, one can even describe it as deadly, despite its calm exterior. "If you ever touch me again, Mr. Harukami, you will regret it. Do I make myself absolutely clear?"

[Saga]

Sweet words, they caressed the sick mind of Shougo. New facts, new information except that the not favorite job wasn't news. Harukami gently glanced over the backing man, his empty eyes took on a very ironic glitter.

 

- I like jelly. But even a jelly can be a prize, ahahaha. While you, my dear ... - he turned his torso, spinning on heels - You don't even get that. To be pitied by a psychopath, how does it feel? I think that's what they call 'to hit the bottom'.

 

Oh, no. That wasn't even the beginning. He gathered enough so far, to break at least one wall and enter; in fact, he broke the wall with the cigarette yesterday. Get them follow, get the kneel.

- Ah, I see that you don't really need that. - he picked the stun gun and returned to his chair as if not in a hurry, - A choice you make, hah. How many times you made that choice, if you put it that way? And it led you to what? To self-loathing? Because, boy...I might hate big fat asses acting smart, but your abomination knows no limit.

 

Playing with the object in hand, he walked to the door and span on heels to have back against the metal.

- Say, between you and me...who is the real monster? How many times you broke people? How many times you saw them walking away with tears? Because our Lou can't love anymore? Or is afraid to love?

[Phanto77]

Hsin wasn't listening to what the man was saying. He never listened to what people were saying anymore. He heard, memorised, registered ], sure but never listened. In fact, he has broken dozens of people, at his private practice, at his old forensic job, women who loved him, and whose hearts he broke. After Natsuo it was pointless. His condom wouldn't work one day and he would get a woman pregnant and live the rest of his in a miserable loveless marriage. That was his fate after Natsuo. It would only ever be her.

 

But that wasn't his concern at the moment. His concern was the madman with a stun gun. Surely, he wouldn't be stupid enough to use it. If he did, then he would have no self-preservation. He looked at Shougo like he was a petulant child playing with something that wasn't his.

 

Sighing, he looked at the man. "Put that down, Mr. Harukami." His voice took a commanding tone next. "Now."