Shards of Sanity 「PRIVATE RP」 Phanto feat. Saga

[Saga]

With a retreat he leaned back, straightening his back. So he was so meaningless to Lou that the other didn't even pay attention to making...to driving Masato so far as taking a life away? Or he thought it was a normal thing for a sick mind. Somehow the disinterest he showed ticked Haru off.

 

He reached with free hand and grabbed Hsin by the hair to get him fall off the chair on knees. Knife came in contact with Lou's neck,

- Want it clean? I can peel it off for you. Or you think even this is not worth the trouble to look at me when I am talking to you, you. damn. whore. - with each pause to the last part of the sentence Masato rose his voice.

 

Disgusted he looked away and tightened the grip around Hsin's hair. He was doing so well for the last month, to get to know that Lou was fucking around with whoever it was. How many fucked him? Males or females, didn't matter it seemed.

 

Masato looked over the other to let the knife to side, his foot stepped forth to press hard against Lou's crotch.

 

- Still a man, I see. For a moment I thought he had your balls cut.

[Phanto77]

The pain resonating from his crotch was blinding. "Whatever you're gonna do, do it quick. I can take no more. I want to sleep and never wake up."

 

Hsin closed his eyes.

[Saga]

Ah, the silent refusal. It wasn't the first though. Masato's blue gaze shone in the lowered amount of light on that floor. He heh-ed the other as moved foot way to force him up on feet. He pushed him forth, harshly pinning him against the balcony. Holding his head down to watch at the filth - women or men being screwed. Some were even drinking piss to satisfy eccentric sadists that had no personal pets.

 

Masato grinned as leaned forth, the knife slowly cutting the piece of clothe from behind making sure it will let the back unscratched.

- Never wake up? The show is just beginning and guess what? - he forced with a tug to make Lou look at him over shoulder, - You got the best view from all the damn place, but that's not the thrill. Wait for it, - he leaned closer to have his hot breath torture the male's lips, - ..I will make you scream your lungs out, until you vomit your own blood from being fucked raw. - the tip of the knife slid against Lou's lower back to make a crimson trace.

- I doubt you will be able to fall asleep ever again after tonight, my sweetheart. - twisted and sick, his voice became.

[Phanto77]

Why was Harukami doing this? Why was he angry? His behaviour was contradictory. He cared just now and yet he is doing this.

 

Hsin's voice boomed as the knife traveled down his welt-filed back. it would've hurt less if the skin on his back wasn't so raw. Red and exposed, it sent tongues of pure fire all around his body. And yet he did not beg. He hoped-prayed-that Harukami would see what his body had gone through, and the hell its endured.

 

The threat, however, awakened the fear he had buried for the past month. He feared this Harukami. He didn't fear Masato. He feared Shougo.

 

"Would it inconvenience you if I asked why?" Hsin's voice was sarcastic.

[Saga]

Haru's pupils averted to the scenery below and grinned,

- You are asking me why? Hah. - he couldn't believe that after all Lou still couldn't get it. He couldn't get how in love Masato was, he couldn't get how it felt to see another male touching him and he couldn't get that what Haru feared the most was losing hm.

 

So ignorant.

 

He forced the male with a push down on knees, cornering him between the balcony bars and his own body. The dirtied by blood white pants stuck to Masato's legs from the crimson wetness. He gazed down at Lou, still holding him by the strands of hair.

- You know what this position is about, right? Get to it and don't bite, unless you want to experience jaw dislocation again, doctor.

[Phanto77]

Hsin's empty eyes looked up at his tormentor and he said, "Do it, 'cause that's the only thing that'll get my lips open."

 

"You know, if you had said that a month ago, that would've scared me. But I'm tired of being scared. Tired of being a victim. So from now on, I will do what I want, when I want, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it, you sick son of a BITCH!"

[Saga]

- Fear? - stretched lips curled the corners as he yanked the male by hair to force the neck truly exposed, - What do you know about fear, brat? - he crouched down to continue,

- You think back then in Europe you experienced fear? - knife slowly making its way against Lou's thigh - You think being with Xian could give you the real dose of 'fear'? You think losing your Natsuo was 'fear'? Get to your fucken senses and realize that fear is what I was born from. And before you speak about 'fear' to me,..

 

He paused, blue eyes in close to stare in these empty hole but even so the despair read in Haru's gaze was more than enough to be seen. And it was understandable. Lou thought one month was equal to the years Haru lived under one roof with a monster,trying to kill him each next night? But sadly, he lacked that 'Natsuo' part in his past. He lacked the woman's care and comfort. All he had was the eyes of males watching him or looking away in case too ashamed of themselves. Probably a reason why Masato always dug out the eyes of his victims.

- ..know that I bathed in my own blood when you snuggled in her damn arms. - a note of jealousy took a place in his throat. It hurt.

[Phanto77]

Every word Harukami said was a dagger in Hsin's heart, in Hsin's whole body.

 

Hsin closed his eyes. "With death ends fear."

[Saga]

- Death? Ahahahahaha.. - he laughed wholeheartedly like really losing his sense, - That's the last you can expect me to give you.

 

Hand let go of the strands of hair to have knife thrown far to side, it scratched against the floor. Slender fingers loosened his tie to have it removed and used on Lou's wrists - tightly tied to the balcony bars. With a rise, he unzipped his pants,

- Well, if you don't want to do it, I will help myself.

[Phanto77]

Go away, Hsin. Go away.

 

Why do people take things we don't give? Why do people think we're theirs, when we are free? I am a human, am I not? Have I not the right to decide?

 

But all Hsin shed was one tear. Just one, for Hsin's eyes had shed too many. And Hsin had no more tears to shed.

[Saga]

Masato leaned forth, resting one hand on the balcony sill, to have his other stroke his member. And when he saw the salty trail run down Lou's cheek he smiled lightly,

- Crying already? And I haven't done anything yet. - gently he connected his glans to the male's soft lips, caressing with the softness of the skins.

[Phanto77]

Hsin stared. He just stared.

 

But he didn't cry anymore. And he had pride in that.

[Saga]

His eyes stared at the male as well, stroking lazily and not bothered by the loudness of their surrounding (especially coming from the first floor); Thoughts making his own blood boil,

 

"Not crying for me once, but always for your own ass. Not even once followed what I requested of you, but sat like a puppy next to him. Say, Lou...how many times he made you cry and come? How many times you showed him your defeated face, but all I get is your disgust?"

 

He slid his eyes, lips parting lightly to exhale a hot air off lung - he was getting hard against the softness of Lou's lips even if the male refused to open them and suck.

[Phanto77]

Hsin sighed and said in a broken voice, "Just fuck me already. That's all you want. That's all anybody wants. What's the holdup?"

 

His back was on fire, and so was all his body. He swayed, he was so tired.

[Saga]

With the sensation of Lou's breath against his exposed organ once the other male spoke, Haru opened eyes to stare idly at the other. How he could miss such an opportunity? He grinned and forced a slide of his rock hard member in Hsin's mouth. His hand supporting the male's chin, reminding him he could break the jaw any time he wished - so biting the staff off was out of question.

 

- No such thing as 'holdup', I am just enjoying my time with you. Slowly and surely - painfully.

 

Supporting his words, he thrust into Lou's throat.

[Phanto77]

Hsin slacked his jaw, and he stayed that way no matter how it hurt. He wasn't gonna give the bastard the satisfaction. Any satisfaction.

 

He was choking but with resignation, he let it happen.

[Saga]

He didn't care what the other male protested about or what the protest could take form of. He just moved lazily in slow motions, thrusting into the wetness. His muscles tensed now and then, more like jolting once his glans flicked the back of Hsin's throat.

 

With a slow retreat, he pulled the erection to rest the tip against Lou's lips. Blue eyes looked down to enjoy the rub against the male's mouth as thumb slid up to sneak from the mouth's corner inside. The bloody hand got saliva sliding down his wrist, but that just sent shivers up his spine. He was enjoying him nevertheless.

- He.. - wanting to ask if Xian fucked him, Masato silenced his lips. He didn't want to hear the answer.

[Phanto77]

Hsin looked up with questioning eyes. He pulled his head back to take a breath.

[Saga]

Pupils averted from the obvious question drawn on Lou's eyes; Haru moved to yank the male up on feet although the knot around wrists to the balcony bars kept Hsin bent. On other side, it was sexy - the pose he had pinned over Lou. However, blue eyes couldn't ignore the wounds over the back. Brows locked in a frown.

 

So he was touched after all.

 

With a harsh pull, he yanked the male's pants down along with the underwear to kneel down - obviously wanting to prepare the other and in best case to get him moaning again. But gaze found cut against the thighs. Silently he parted lips, anger messing his chest up. The beats getting faster - he really thought Hsin was fucked.

 

- ..Hah.. What's that? You opened your legs for him after all..

[Phanto77]

"My legs were opened for me. Don't you remember? It's like when you did it. But he didn't put his cock in me."

 

Hsin swallowed and remembered the white hot pain Xian had inflicted on him. He began to weep.

 

He whispered the next word with such pain and hatred, it would tame all the hatred in the world.

 

"Screwdriver."

[Saga]

A relief, he felt a relief. His forehead leaned forth, resting against the male's bare thigh. And he chuckled ironically against the bruised skin, but not at Lou just at himself.

"When you think you do good, you actually do wrong."

 

He thought saving Lou's career - he had to kidnap him not let him be the one who let him out. Then, he thought Lou was better off without Haru and yet..

 

Blue eyes shifted, he tilted his chin gently touching the bruises (rather deep wounds) with his lips. He didn't want to comfort Lou, nor he wanted to look as pity. He just embraced the male's wounds as he wished someone to have embraced his years ago.

[Phanto77]

"We all make mistakes, eh?"

 

Hsin started to weep. "Mine was existing."

 

Hsin broke down. His sobs were hysterical, and he was shaking. He closed his thighs gently to cup Harukami's face, and let out a below such as the world has never seen. Pure suffering resonated off the walls, compliments of the wretched pain that tore at Hsin's heart.

[Saga]

Masato eased his eyes, coming to his senses. Shougo was long gone; seemingly the key to the monster within was fully laid in Lou's existence. And if so, Haru thought it was better to exist and hide that key rather leaving him in his own agony.

 

The long haired male felt the weak trapping Lou did, the shivers all over body. He slid hand gently up the thigh to squeeze at the blue-ish marks left from beating. Mouth parted to bite harshly but yet tenderly at the cuts. He tasted the iron in mouth, escaping his lips; the blood was hot and fresh. With a scroll of tongue he gently licked his way up to stand tall and settle arm front the other - pressing the male into his chest as free hand freed the hands of Lou.

- I am a selfish being, Lou. I want you to exist solely for me. And each time you feel pain, let it be me. Even if you can't accept me inside your heart, even if all you feel is hatred - let it be me, only me. - tightly embracing the male, he tilted head to side to bite roughly at the place where Xian licked, overwriting all placed Xian hurt. He wouldn't allow Hsin's mind to connect the pain even for a minute to Xian, but to Haru himself. All the pain, all the hatred and fear - he wanted them for himself. Since love was out of reach, seemingly.

[Phanto77]

Hsin weeped, still. He felt not the bites, but he felt the lips that rested on his neck. He felt the lapping tongue at the wound.

 

And he shook harder, to his very core. He went limp.

[Saga]

Holding the male close, even closer, he fully carried the weight (in each sense) of Lou. Harukami traveled with tongue until he reached the burnt like scars from long ago, tongue gently corrupting even these memories. With his muscles tensed to hold Lou up, Masato reached his free hand to caress the male's abdomen down to the private parts. But as tenderly he caressed, so harshly he bit the flesh - shoulders, nape, ears and even the chin once he felt the tilt of head now and then.

- You hate me, don't you, Lou? - it was a while since he whispered the male's name and it had a reason; his voice stirring in pain but yet so low that by the end the husky notes felt like almost a confession.