Shards of Sanity 「PRIVATE RP」 Phanto feat. Saga

[Saga]

The night was too exhausting even for Masato. He had to maintain a perfectly calm posture and a splendid smile, when in fact the man's blood was boiling. Once they could leave the party, Tanya followed after the boss' back. This broad back seemed so tired when Haru removed the cord off hair, to let the hair fall beautifully. The black color suited the beige of his coat.

- Boss? - Tanya hurried to catch his steps and look over the beautiful, cold face of the man, - Going home?

- No. Gotta have one shot or two. - reaching for his pocket to find a lighter, the woman lit one before his cigarette captured between these lips.

- Want a company? - she smiled, soothing the boss' mood.

- Do as you wish. - said he after lit the cancer stick from the flame provided.

[Phanto77]

Mei Mei watched him, closely. Hsin finally smiled at her when he was drunk enough, and tapped the stool beside him. "Come sit by me, Mei Mei. How is your dad?"

 

"Sick."

 

"Since when?"

 

"A little after you left."

 

"C-can I see him?"

 

"What would be the point? He won't recognise you. He barely recognises me."

 

"Alzheimer's?"

 

"Dementia. He'll be gone in a year, tops. I don't have the energy to keep this place afloat. I'll have to sell it."

 

"What?! No!"

 

"I don't have the money, brother."

 

"I do. I'll buy it, and then you can have it. Twice the asking price."

 

"You're drunk."

 

"I mean it!"

 

Mei Mei sighed. "More rum?"

 

"Please."

[Saga]

One of these nights he already knew - lonely and dark, in the company of whoever it was. Haru didn't really feel like doing anything, but the thought of Lou flirting and being friendly with whoever it was drove him crazy. So he was bossy and all mighty only with Haru? The tall man threw the keys on the big bed when they entered the room and gestured to take off his coat but Tanya hurried to help him,

- Let me do it - whispered she.

 

Masato averted his chin slightly to side, feeling the touch of her hands against his shoulders.

- What would you like to drink, Mr. Zhang? - lusting for the man's voice, she tried to make him talk.

- Whatever it is. - Haru sat on the bed, loosening his necktie. So much was the day to be called off. He reached for bridge of nose for a slight squeeze. How damn much he wanted to go sleep and not hear even a word about Lou. It was like a ring he had in his head, not able to quiet down.

 

The woman passed him the whiskey in hand and shifted the boss' body to sit on his lap with a deceiving smile, caressing his jawline.

- Should I distract you? - she leaned for a peck of kiss

[Phanto77]

Hsin hadn't had a drink since she died. A drunk took her and a drunk won't bring her back, he used to say. He actually missed the burn of alcohol at the back of his throat.

 

So he drank. And drank.

 

And drank.

[Saga]

The male's pupils averted to side, not really in mood. And Tanya noticed it. With a pull to speak softly, she asked.

- Is it Dr. Lou that troubles you, sir? - curious enough she looked at Haru.

 

Masato frowned, she talked too much. For god's sake, she was luck being a woman. Else he would have slit her throat open and not even care for the aftermath. Alas, he had own principles. The man reached abruptly to crash lips against hers, tackling her down against the bed. Excitedly she moaned into his mouth, she loved rough play.

 

When Haru moved down, tearing her skirt, exposing these long legs and their beginning, he traveled with tongue closer to her private parts. And he knew she was getting into the mood..but somehow, he wasn't. And it wasn't Lou the problem in his head. He just couldn't get excited no matter how much he focused on her superb body. Once he heard her loud, sweet moan to call his name he stopped. It was going no where. For these brief minutes he was already fingering her, she was massaging his body as much possible for her hands to reach for him - even so, he wasn't..calling back. In brief, he couldn't get it up. Realizing that fact, Masato just got off the bed, pretty much shaken up.

- Boss? - she asked confused through a pant or two.

- Sorry.. I am just tired. Guess will go back home. - so said, he left in a hurry.

"The hell is wrong with me.."

[Phanto77]

Hsin's head was pounding. He hated hangovers. This was the downside of alcohol.

 

He needed to get his car from Mei Mei's bar.

 

He walked home, swaying and all.

[Saga]

It was already noon, but Haru didn't feel like working. The man was lying on his office's couch, watching the cigarette smoke floating upwards.

"I can't be sick. At least, not in that sense.", his doctor mind completely overtaken by the current problem of his, "I can't be impotent..can I?"

 

A frown and he rose; damn these thoughts. That was it. Until he calmed down, he had to avoid Lou. What if he wouldn't get it up even if he wanted to do him? That would be ridiculous, thought he.

[Phanto77]

Hsin had his third hangover this morning. He hadn't seen Harukami in three days. Or was it four? He couldn't remember. He, rather, spent his days with Mei Mei. He saw her dad and spent a day with him as well. He felt content when he spent time with them. Like he had no troubles. Although he had something to take care of.

 

He arrived at the Harukami mansion shortly after. He expected anyone but the blonde bombshell that greeted him.

 

"Hello, Doctor," she said in a very irritated voice. "Looking for Mr. Zhang?"

 

"Looking for Lee, actually." He tried to pass her, but she was having none of it.

 

"You're not allowed to talk to him."

 

That statement angered. "You don't allow me to do anything, Miss. I am free to do as I please and to speak to whomever I please. And neither you, nor your boss can change that."

 

Tanya's face soured. "We fucked, you know," her face was smug. "The other night. And he loved it."

 

Hsin stopped and got very close to her. Close enough to kiss. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes, turning on the charm that turned women's insides to jelly. "Of course he did, doll. You're a very," he started to whisper, "very, beautiful woman." His lips were almost touching hers. Sh could feel his breath on her mouth. She swallowed and looked at the man that oozed charm and appeal.

 

He continued to whisper, "A very beautiful woman indeed."

 

He suddenly straightened his back and walked away from her, leaving her in that awkward, molten position. "Too bad you're not my type," he said smiling.

 

"Now if you'll tell me where Lee is."

[Saga]

Masato was reviewing some documents he received over the fax in his cabinet at home. The contracts he recently managed to gather granted more power to Zhang Coop. , but the male was not pleased both with his private life and the work that awaited. Tiredly he sighed and threw the paper onto the desk as leaned his hip against the edge. His state wasn't perfect, especially since gathered quite some stress (thanks to his number one problem right now).

[Phanto77]

Tanya looked at the retreating back. She decided she hated that man. Hsin was the obstacle. She knew Zhang hadn't fucked her because of him. And Hsin didn't know what he had. Maybe he did, and he didn't care? Man-whore. He had to go, somehow.

 

Hsin entered the house and found Lee in the front room. "Lee? I need to speak with you."

 

Lee looked up, shocked and scared. His face had paled in a moment. "Hsin, have you gone absolutely crazy?"

 

"No, the crazy one owns this house."

[Saga]

A metal flick echoed in the cabinet when he lit god-knew-which-in-order cigarette. Lately he's been smoking a lot, so much that his mouth adopted bitter taste. The man's eyes spotted the irregular position of the papers and frowned. It's been awhile since he noticed such details. Was it because he was always under stress before? Since he met Hsin he barely paid attention to details. The hand itched to move and put the papers under 90 degrees, as usual. Blue eyes deadly moved to side, staring at the room - quite the mess.

 

The man couldn't even notice how messy he's become. All he cared for the late days was fixed onto Lou and avoiding him. With a thud, he moved to get in order the room. After all he really hated disorganization.

[Phanto77]

"Please, Hsin. He's in a really bad mood. He can't see us speaking."

 

"We didn't do anything wrong. You were my only comfort when he was acting like a petulant psychopath and I won't let him take that away. He's taken enough."

 

The next voice was a female one. "What's he taken?"

 

Hsin turned around to look at Tanya. "That's not of your concern. My business is with Mr. Lee." His voice was cold. "I suggest you leave us to it."

 

Her face glowered back at him, at the dismissal. She turned and did a first grader move. She was going to tell on them.

[Saga]

The sharp senses of his weren't though numb. As soon as he heard dashing steps towards the cabinet, he put aside that dusting tool. It'd be too ridiculous if,whoever it was, caught him cleaning. The man frowned, rather annoyed at the messy cabinet but found his place on the chair. For his surprise though..

- I am sorry to disturb you, Mr. Zhang - Tanya entered with her voice raised.

 

Masato blinked away his confusion and let her speak behind closed doors.

- What is it, Tanya?

- As you know I am a loyal woman, - she started talking but Haru frowned at the very beginning of her sentence. Never he liked when someone pledged loyalty so openly. Nor he liked to pledge loyalty. He preferred actions. Once she finished her "intro" to the next part of her thoughts, Haru rose a brow.

- Lou is here?

- Pretty much yes, sir. And he went to look for Mr. Tang, just saw them talking downstairs. - she smiled with satisfaction.

 

Masato felt the adrenalin hit his heels. What was wrong with Tanya, Lou and Tang? Was it so fun to play the loyal and the good, next moment ignore Haru's orders or private space?

- Get out. - his voice froze any trace of her so called 'loyalty'.

- But..Mister Zhang..

- You think I call this loyalty? One moment you flirt with the man, then next moment you damn report his actions to me? Get out now! - his voice shook the silence on the floor. Mostly..he wasn't angry at Tanya telling him the truth despite whatever reason she had behind. He was angry at..himself.

 

Once Tang heard his master yell, the very gut of his shattered. The man rarely would hear Masato yell at home.

[Phanto77]

Lee's face paled even more. "Lee, what is it?"

 

"The master."

[Saga]

Masato saw Tanya run out the cabinet, leaving the door opened. Great, even no manners. The male rose, but then paused by the door. So could be true. He walked out the cabinet to leaned on the balcony from upstairs, looking down. Spotted right away.

- Tang. - said through his teeth, - My cabinet. Now. - blue eyes darkened from anger. He didn't even look at Lou.

 

Lee started to shake, obviously not wishing to step an inch close to Masato right now.

- What do I do now.. - he whined.

[Phanto77]

"Harukami, stop it. It's not his fault."

 

Hsin swallowed. "It's mine."

[Saga]

Pupils moved from Tang to Lou, a rather ominous smile took place on his lips.

- Oh? Do I take it as you want to take on his punishment? - Haru's stress was pumped to its maximum and wasn't in mood for kid's play. Nor he felt like just shutting it, - Since you're such good buddies, I'll wait for the sacrifice lamb in my cabinet.

 

He knew pretty well how daring Lou's nature was, so it was clear who was to enter the office when Haru was angry. Though Lee wouldn't back off, but decided to let them decide instead of watching the whole farce 'I go-You go'.

[Phanto77]

"Lee, I can handle him better than you can."

 

After 15 minutes of begging him to get out of the house, Hsin made his way to the cabinet. He walked in to see Haru's back.

 

"I suspect you knew."

[Saga]

Shoulders relaxed, lips moved quietly for his voice adopted a rather calm but yet sarcastic note,

- I suspect you knew I'd know. - he looked over shoulder - Never expected less from you, Lou.

 

Haru rocked off his torso from the desk edge to turn toward the other,

- My word is a law here. You might not obey me, but don't make my people follow your example.

[Phanto77]

Hsin's eyes softened but his face didn't. His anger was far from dissolved just yet. "Why? Can you just tell me why?"

 

He got closer, a little scared. "He is my friend."

[Saga]

Masato anticipated the approach, but still stood his expressionless ground.

- Friend? - he frowned upon the statement - Let me tell you what that friend of yours did. - Haru started walking Hsin's way as well - He held my arms for my uncle to enjoy the blood gushing out of me. He was the one who slipped the poison each night in my food. - Haru stood before Lou with his eyes out of any mercy - You think I was born with body not affected by drugs? How do you think I survived the huge doses in the hotel?

 

Blue eyes spoke the truth as it was. But even when he spoke, he never sounded as if hating. Rather felt like betrayed.

- Tell me now, you still can call him friend? - chin moved forth for a reach of ear - A friend who did all that to his own child. Or could it be, you never noticed we share the same eyes? - deadly serious his voice stabbed into Lou. Of course he wouldn't be jealous if it was a mere old servant. But there were things that Lou never knew and still he preferred Tang before Haru. Simply enough to make Masato feel unwanted..actually, more like played with.

[Phanto77]

Hsin was scared as the man approached him. Hsin swallowed and tried to get the words out. "You killed 89 men, that I know of. You murdered a 15 year old boy, and took his eyes out as you did the others. I can call him friend, as I can be fond of you even after I've seen what I've seen from what you've done. If I can't call him friend, I can't care for you. I care for you, and so he will always be my friend. This man comforted me after my blood was running down my thighs. Amends are being made, dea-Masato, and you shouldn't push it away. He may not be an angel, but by God, neither are you."

 

 

Hsin whispered. "And neither am I."

 

"And they are lovely eyes, dear boy."

[Saga]

Indifferent. Cold. And dysfunctional.

 

Haru reached hand up to wrap it around Lou's neck, cutting the talk exactly at the last sentence.

- I killed, yes. But this is what I've come to because we always get to be what we hate the most. But tell me.. - he glanced to Lou, able to sense the alcohol odor still over the male, - ..you surely know how is it, don't you? How much you drank?

 

His strong grip tightened. He never fought Lou seriously. Even when punched by the male, he never answered the hit.

- Enough to kill someone on the road? I suppose not. - having the monologue himself, he dragged the male to the side with rough hand against neck. Once Lou's body bumped into the couch to be pinned down, Masato reached hand for the bar-table with whiskey on it.

- You think I am different. And you think you are special. But Lou, I hate labeling and most of all.. - blue eyes dead onto the male's gaze - I know reality is not special but plain. Simple and cold. And all you come to is at the moment of death. How many times you died, Hsin? - knee settled onto the male's front to prevent any possibility for the other to escape - I died each night for over ten years. And each time I killed, I found myself reborn for death to crawl up my core and embrace me. - his voice was too dark to find any trace of emotion, the long haired male pulled the bottle with flick to get rid of the tap. Hand around neck quickly moved to jawline to squeeze and force the mouth open.

 

- You care for me? Same like him. You broke me, then you cared. Then I am the sick mind? - he laughed bitterly, - Give me a break..If I am sick, God himself is psychopath. - not even once he rose his voice, monotonously he spoke. The bottle got tilted to pour down into Lou's mouth.

- Taste it well. This is what you hate the most, isn't it? - Masato's eyes stared down with his pain hidden behind the blue lagoon, - Because what you do is the same. Feeding me with your half-assed care.

[Phanto77]

The hand at his neck was tight and the liquid burned. Somehow, the man always found a way to justify all he's done, however inexcusable. It was his guilt at work he was sure.

 

He tried to stop analysing. He had bigger problems. "St-top, pl-lease."

[Saga]

He watched the liquid leveling up in Lou's mouth, the male was not able to swallow all he poured down. If it was water, probably would be easier but even so some would escape the corner of lips.

 

Once the alcohol touched the surface of the couch, he tilted back the bottle and stopped placing it back on the small table. Simply watching the man beneath cough away all stuffed in mouth.

- How.. How does it feel to become what you hate the most? - his voice so truthful and cold. Because he also became what he hated the most and he knew it. He was aware, he was damn aware.

 

Knee retreated, hand loosened own necktie. Masato didn't wait much for the male to gain strength back and tied the hands together.

- Savored completely by guilt numbs you with time, you know. - he got off the couch, to walk to his desk drawer and pull out a knife. His hip leaned against the desk, playing now and then with the blade.

- When you believe in something, then that something happens to disappear..and it's the only thing you believe in. Humans lose their humanity then. - cold eyes glanced over the other in their blue shade - Even in the pit I kept dreaming, Lou. Do you know what I kept dreaming of? - suddenly his hand paused the spinning of knife to rock off the desk edge.

 

- I dreamed of freedom. But freedom never was free. Never will be. - he approached the man slowly, - Remember? You kept my freedom and I told you I keep yours.

 

He spoke metaphorically. Truly his freedom was only when he killed, but since he met this psychologist he stopped killing. And the price of his freedom was the freedom of Lou. What a paradox. The male hovered over the other, placing the knife in Hsin's tied hands, pointing the blade against his own chest - pressing it enough to draw blood from beneath his shirt.

- How much you want your freedom, Lou? I give you once in a life time chance, to choose. Your freedom or mine? Choose wisely - blue eyes stared down, not affected by the pain of the blade against chest. In fact, he kept pushing Hsin's hands with the blade into the flesh. Masato wanted someone loyal. Someone who wouldn't pledge over death, but over life.