Shards of Sanity 「PRIVATE RP」 Phanto feat. Saga

[Saga]

That was a pure gradation, from a grin to a slight chuckle. Shougo had to keep his focus even though he had other kind of thoughts passing through his sick mind.

- I never said to which door. I want the exit code, Lou. - without beating around the bush, Shougo made it clear. But probably the other was as stubborn as naive, might be even more. Haru tightened his grip, eyes had nothing else to pierce through but the man underneath him.

 

With a bluff on lips he spoke lovingly,

- I said I won't kill you, but you can guess it's because you are my freedom ticket. Whether you can walk or not, as long as you can talk, it's fine by me.

[Phanto77]

Hsin pulled harder at the grip that held him, strongly and quite wildly. His face reflected the absurdity of what the man was saying. Did Harukami really expect him to comply? If he did, then the man had truly and completely lost his lentils.

 

Calmly he said, "No."

[Saga]

With a brush of hair strand, he leaned abruptly close to sink his teeth into Hsin's neck, breaking the skin as if he really intended to eat the man - no hesitation. Once the hot, red liquid scrolled down Shougo's chin he retreated to get into the man's focus with lips dubbed in blood.

 

- I don't need knife to wound, as I don't need knife to get rid of these beautiful eyes of yours. You got one thing wrong, Lou. - it was pretty assuring, the tone in his dark as pit of abyss voice - I don't lack humanity, but I do lack comparison.

 

With a slide of tongue against his own bottom lip, he eased the grip just to get the man force wrists up and get them painfully slammed against the hard floor.

- And god knows, when I lack comparison - I lack humanity. The code.

[Phanto77]

The pain as Harukami's teeth sunk into Hsin's flesh was slow. I crept up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and with effort managed not no make a sound. Any form of verbal reaction could set the other man off. He could feel few droplets of his blood lick his skin as they slid on then off his neck and hit the floor.

 

The pain as Harukami slammed his wrists to the floor was more direct, but faster and faded more rapidly. His face was smeared with a dark crimson that will get lighter in a moment as the blood oxygenates. He looked positively feral, human in image and rationality, yet devoid of warmth, opposite to what the man's countenance was a few moments ago, which was possessive and almost loving, one could say.

 

Face slightly distorted in pain, Hisn swallowed and said collectedly, "You must understand, Shougo. I can't just let you out of here. Morality aside, how will I deal with Nagasawa, with the aftermath? Listen, think about this, Shougo. Think", he paused to clear his throat,"..Think about the jelly."

 

There was determined chaos in the man's eyes.

[Saga]

Was it really fear of what could happen to his carrière or the man just yanked Shougo's chain, making a fool out of him? Haru lifted his torso a bit, blue eyes sharp to what came to mind.

- That's easy. You will come with me. - with a pause to enjoy the man's reaction (mainly the look in eyes), Shougo bared bloody teeth - Besides, it's a chance for you to know who am I and what sins did I commit. And if I get caught - I get caught; you'll be just a victim of my madness so I kidnapped you. Logical and simple, blame it on me. One more sin or crime on my shoulders, either matter none to me.

 

The long haired man slowly shifted to drag along Lou up on feet, he wouldn't let go of Hsin even for a moment. As he abandoned any weapon behind, he walked to the exit door, dragging by force the male. Kicks, bites or whatever came - so it be. Pain wasn't something Shougo feared.

When they got before the so said door, Haru thought of letting go of one hand but then if that was the case - he'd make Lou like a buddy in crime. So he managed some more force into his arm to slam the man into the door, right next to the keyboard. Both of his arms 'imprisoned' Lou in between as he left no inch between them (but it was another excuse to feel the man's heat against his own body),

- The code.

[Phanto77]

Hsin's eyes widened in surprise more than fear, and he froze. He wanted to know more, sure, but going with him would mean he would mean he would be at Harukami's mercy, and that was nowhere near good. He wanted to ask why he cared enough to ask Hsin to blame agother 'sin' on him, but the question wouldn't leave his mouth. The man didn't know him if he expected Hsin to unjustly label someone. Sanada's 5 million US didn't, and nor will a measly threat. More importantly, what in the hell did this man want with him? He could've just run on his own after getting the code, why take him? He'd all but slow him down.

 

Maybe the man was afraid he'd help in catching him again? He didn't know.

 

Hsin's struggles renewed when Harukami started dragging him towards the exit door. He dragged his feet, pulled at his arms 'til they ached, even tried biting the man's hands to let go, but nothing fazed him. He was determined. As he fought back, with Harukami making him walk, "Harukami, I'm not going anywhere with you. Stop this." His voice was low, strained because to the pulling, like he was talking sense into someone.

 

He was then slammed into the door, trapped between it and Harumaki's body, as were his arms. Too close, too close. The warmth exchange between his body and Haru's made him queazy. He pressed his back against the wall, almost hoping to melt into it and come out the other side. He squeezed his eyes shut and slowly shook his head.

[Saga]

He was scared, he indeed was. But then why? Shougo stared at the disturbed by mixture of thoughts and emotions face of Lou, the silence dancing upon lips. His fingers curled, forming fists against the wall-like door. The man sighed as if he had no other choice but force the code out. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Hsin.

.

.

.

 

"Coward. You sick bastard, how many times you have to do it until satisfied; watching them break as you broke?", ever so rhetorical and skeptic in his mess mind; the male was the pure result of yin and yang. The moment you think you got him and his way, was the moment when you lost him. Paradoxical minds and personalities were the most complicated once.

 

Shougo could use his knowledge in acupuncture, he could dislocate any sticking part of Lou, but yet he disliked the idea. The man was at the verge of yelling, but he just slammed the clenched right hand of his into the door and spoke ever so darkly with nose slightly wrinkled from the rush of adrenaline,

- The code, Lou.

[Phanto77]

He knew the man wasn't playing. He didn't hurt him. The turmoil not to hurt him was evident in his eyes, he was holding back the urge to. It was like Harukami felt Hsin was forcing his hand to hurt him.

 

Be rational, he thought. Give him what he wants. There are people out there, they can help you.

 

He looked the other man in the eyes, challengingly. "Alright, alright."

 

He looked away, and whispered in spite of himself, each number agonisingly slow, "2……..4………….3…………..6…………….4…………….7"

[Saga]

With last bits of patience, Haru reached for the keypad by them, flicking the numbers in order. His eyes dead to emotions, once he stepped out the safe-house, his path was chosen - one of most wanted criminals. But that was fine by him.

 

"Since the moment I left that garden 18 years ago", thoughts faster than hands, but still catching up - Shougo glanced over the man who probably loathed Haru or started counting prayers, - "I never desired anything, but I had everything. Luxury, money, status, crowd of people that called themselves friends, but education was nothing more than a torture. Each next book I read granted me what I know today. Each next tragedy I lived made me who I am today. Knowledge had its price, sadly."

 

Silently he quickly moved hand to press a spot against Hsin's neck, it was like a shut-down button for the body. If anything, the man would rest properly might even help him with his migraine. By reflex, he caught the man's body into his embrace,

"Say Lou, if you read the books I read and lived the tragedy I lived, would you be me or still you today?"

 

The funny theory of books recommending people, not the other way around made Shougo chuckle a sigh. He hopped the man up in anything but princess-like embrace. He didn't see the man as a woman, he clearly knew he held a man. It was the very bright sun that had Haru squeeze his eyes, the noon daytime was annoying - mainly for its brightness.

 

"What is it that you think makes you insane?", Haru glanced from side to side, eying the parked car by the house. He had no idea what time it was, but still along his thought he calculated as looked up - the sun was the joker in the game. Noon, it had to be. With ease he walked to the car, guiding Lou's head to his shoulder - the car wasn't locked nor the alarm set. It was a deserted place, no wonder. Haru opened the backseats door to lower enough and get Lou laying down there. As it was hard to move around with a man's body, he entered partly until he set the unconscious body onto the backseats. A moment to make sure the man breathed normally, after all he pressed an important spot from the body. He paused his pupils over the man's calm face.

 

"Is it because you are intelligent? Is it because you are brave and good? Is is because you're special?", the continuation of his rhetorical question fell into place once he looked at Lou. Haru got out to slam the door close and take his place in front. No time to look for the keys, so he bent to tear the box from under the wheel. Just a few wires displaced and he had to car running. Once the second door was slammed, the time on road flew along with his deepest thoughts spoken aloud as if talking to the unconscious man,

- Maybe. Who knows. But I'll tell you something, Lou: I think you're a little insane as well because you're unhappy. An insane mind is strong because it feels pain. But my pain is other, I feel the difference between what the world is and what people made of it. Or what did you think that stuff in my chest was once? My insanity is just bit stronger because I hurt more than others. My wound is my madness.

 

The car noise was his company for now, so his "monologue" continued.

- Most people carry that pain, that madness around inside them their whole lives, until they kill the pain by other means, or until it kills them. But you, my dear Lou, you found another way: a way to use the pain. To burn it as fuel, for light and warmth. You have learned to withstand the world that has tried to break you. But I learned to break the world that has tried to break me. - a slight pause he chuckled, directing the wheel to right - Or rather, the world that has already broken me.

 

It wasn't any smart-talking or acting, it was more like the confession of a freak.

 

It took one hour to reach one of Harukami's rest-houses deep in the mountain. But that aside, he wasn't stupid. It wasn't the rest-house of Shougo Harukami, but the rest-house of the Chinese Zhang company heir, Shion Zhang or known as Masato Harukami.

[Phanto77]

He slipped into a darkness. A darkness he could've never anticipated. And yet he embraced it, for within the darkness was a comfort of an abandon of serendipity. No thought as to what happens tomorrow, or even a second from now. A reversible touch of death. Sweet death.

 

From the darkness, came a white, blinding light. A woman who was more beautiful in his mind than she ever was in reality. A woman in life, a goddess in thought.

 

Natsuo, he thought, pain searing through his chest. Take me, and bring me to revel in your presence. Death be damned, uncertainty be damned. I want you near me. Always.

 

Hsin stirred.

[Saga]

With returned favor, Haru didn't chain or tied the man. He gently placed the body onto the bed in a huge bedroom. It looked elegant and Chinese traditional style at same time. The most worth-the-note was the black color of walls that had dark gray wavy stripes that you could spend all day to un-knot their path. Even in the dark, white couldn't be found but still it had the balance of gray - the color of balance.

 

Shougo noticed the deep, painful frown on Lou's face. He seemed to be in pain. With reach for him, he paused. It'd be hypocrite-like to care, wouldn't it? Haru retreated his hand as if burnt. He glanced over the neatly, but yet tightly buttoned shirt of Hsin. He loosened the necktie to unbutton the first few buttons. He needed to breathe. And it wasn't needed to have M.S. (Master in Science) to know it. Shougo glanced over the night table set by the bed, he had a great calming tool there - steam-pot. It was used in times when you needed stress-therapy. He lit it up, making sure the exact, needed herbs were in the oil water.

 

He wasn't worried, if they man would escape. A few reasons, the herbs could drug enough and the house was in the middle of nowhere.

 

Harukami rose from the bed, making a turn to head out the room. He loved to spend his time in gardens. He had one at his place, so it was logical to have one in his rest-house for personal usage. But the gardens of his were unusual. Poisonous, literally. Not to mention he loved wild animals - snakes, big spiders, and tropical butterflies. A magic world, the garden was - but dangerous if you didn't know enough to roam around it.

 

Until the man was awake, Shougo preferred to clear his thoughts there.

[Phanto77]

He awakened like he was rising from the dead. He was on a bed, a comfortable one. He was tempted to press against it and rest until he could rest no more. Hsin didn't recognise the room. It was elegant and oriental. He knew it wasn't his-there wasn't a Tracy or a Yayoi warming his side for one.

 

He felt as if someone was splitting his head open. He felt lethargic and there was one way to get rid of that feeling. Hsin sat up and instantly felt queasy. He felt sick until he took a few breaths to calm his throbbing head and his upturned stomach. He groaned. He heard nothing from the outside. Where in God's name was he?

 

He reached up and untied his hair, letting it flow to his shoulders. He ruffled it as he slowly got up. His knee hit the wooden floor with a thud as he was to disoriented to stand. He gathered himself and tried again. Standing up, woozy for an unfathomable reason, he walked through the smoke filled room towards the door, which was open. He stepped out, still holding his head, his fingers intertwined in his hair. Down a hall he walked to an open glass patio. In the garden, stood a man with a mane he recognised.

 

Slow, heavy steps as he walked outside into the sunny chill. He coughed to make himself known.

[Saga]

The garden had a calming atmosphere, especially with the running sound of water coming from the beautiful Zen fountain by the entrance. Different colors and different shapes - that garden looked like some mad passion of a species collector. Shougo held a cup of tea in his hands, calmly gazing at the blossom of the bittersweet nightshade. A very beautiful flower before the poisonous fruit was born. Harukami was like hypnotized by the surrounding him beauty.

 

He heard the slide made for Lou to enter, but a similar to cough sound was made.

- I see you're awake, but please be careful around here. Anything you touch can kill you. - and yet he stood there so relaxed, as if in the middle of a fairy tale not in the grasp of a monstrous garden.

[Phanto77]

Hsin came closer, gracefully avoiding any contact with the plants, his movements like mercury. Loosening his tie, until he drops it to the ground.

 

He crossed his arms, and spoke like he was speaking to a child with a broken vase, his voice low and reasonable. "Care to explain yourself?"

[Saga]

Haru chuckled softly, feeling the scolding for first time since..then. The male chuckled and turned around, the pose was just like he imagined - like a scolding you wife.

- What you need explained? - he smoothly bent his torso to set the cup of tea on the short and small table near him, - You're being kidnapped and my hostage. - he glanced up with his gaze ever so soothing.

[Phanto77]

His posture remained the same, scolding and unyielding. "Oh, really, now?"

 

He struggled between talking or beating sense into the man. "Shougo, why? No goo can come of this for you. Why am I here?" His brow was furrowed. Upset.

[Saga]

He straightened his back, jabbing his hands into his elegantly, white pants pockets; the man kept a minute of silence. He couldn't understand what upset Lou.

- Why do you even care whether I end up dead or in an institution where I am daily drugged as a mad dog, Doctor Lou? - he reminded him as well, they were nothing more than a psychologist and a psychopath.

 

A spin on heels, he turned around to walk into the huge garden, leading the way to its core.

- Frankly speaking, you wanted to know. This is a replica of the place I grew up in Shanghai, the residence of Zhang. That luxury was even around the butlers and maids. Despite it was ever so busy in that grande palace, it felt empty and lonely. Well, once I grew enough, maids made it less lonely. - joked he.

[Phanto77]

Hsin slowly followed Harukami, too tired to speed up, caring not about losing the other man in the large garden.

 

At least he was talking to him. It was almost like it was before, only the balance of power had shifted. Hsin was careful not to touch the plants, he was in enough trouble as it is.

 

His voice slurred slightly as he spoke, although the authoritative tone was evident, "I will be leaving as soon as I get enough information."

 

He put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath, "Now, tell me about your childhood."

[Saga]

Shougo paused and grinned; it sounded legit.

- That means I have to give exactly the amount of information that wouldn't be enough. - he chuckled as finished the sentence; really now, just like a kid.

 

Haru turned around, standing before a beautiful tree of pendulous flowers. They really looked like some champagne glasses turned upside down.

- Say Lou, what happens when a person is stabbed in the heart? - a very simple, biology related question.

[Phanto77]

Hsin threw his hands up, but decided to answer him anyway. He tried to remember his obligatory college Biology class. "Um, Arrhythmic heartbeat, stopped blood flow necessary for life, followed by almost immediate death. Uh, depends on the wound size, chest cavity fills with blood, no cardiac arrest." Thank you, Mrs. Sivers.

 

"Go on. Why do you ask?"

[Saga]

It made him smile, he liked intelligent people. Especially when they talked about biology. Once death was mention, he sharpened his gaze.

.

.

.

 

With the turn to continue his walk, he commented.

- Exactly. You die, most certainly. The muscle can't take damage. If you're gonna cheat death, you'll need a new heart. - of course, all the talk was metaphor.

 

- However, Doctor.. - as equal Shougo stood in front of Hsin finally in the center of the garden; it was a simple center but yet meaningful - a beautiful sculpture of crane. He continued, - ... people are not taught that most deadly wound does not bleed. Don't you agree?

[Phanto77]

The man was talking in riddles. "Look, Shougo. I'm tired and my head isn't as well as I want it to be. Could you please tell me where you're going with this?"

 

He sighed. "Yes, I agree. You're right."

[Saga]

He was asked to be straight forward, but hardly could he yet tried,

- Your so said patient is already gone, he died long time ago, Doctor Lou. I am just what comes after death, a remembrance.

 

He started walking up the other,

- I don't need you to understand me, in fact. - he chuckled - You better don't.

 

Once the eyes met from close, Shougo stretched hand out to move a few strands of hair away from Lou's face.

[Phanto77]

Hsin flinched away from Harukami's hand. "Don't do that, please."

 

"What happened to him? My patient." His brow furrowed as his migraine began to be unbearable. "He couldn't have just died. Who killed him?"

[Saga]

A bit pained by the never-taken-place brush of hand; he knew if Hsin wasn't fully wiry of his 'sickness', he'd most probably either punch him or at least brush his hand. So the male hid the disgust only for the sake of being safe. That hurt Shougo in a way.

 

He sighed, noticing the uncomfortable behavior Hsin had, especially his eyes were so intense with the try to hold back the migraine. Not caring about the warning he just got, he moved hand lower to catch the man's hand. Thumb found the spot near the knuckle connected to the index base - it was the spot for head. Handy was it, to know acupuncture. He pressed it, holding for a few seconds but eyes didn't want to meet Lou's ones.

- Poor boy, one to pity him. - he went sarcastic on his own over his past-self, - The heir of a huge company lived as the most disgusting slave ever born, seemingly he deserved life not.

 

He knew the migraine will fade away;

- Do that thrice a day for a week. It will cure it. - coldly stated he as let go of the hand and passed by Lou. - Go take a bath, you sweated a lot from the drug. It had a curing herb in, nothing toxic - he assured him as headed out the garden.