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Lead me out of the Sadness((Ryouta Basket & Bellala99))


Ryouta
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He was ready for being yelled but it was completely the opposite! The other was crying! No! Better say sobbing when he heard Subaru`s words! He was begging him to come back. Was that for real? The order male`s tears stopped and he started to be concerned. He slowly head his chest and closed his eyes. It hurt, his heart, he couldn`t breath well!He managed to talk back to him to him down! 'Don`t cry....please...!" He was happy, he wanted to hold him and thank him for being worried! That meant he was important, even if it was a little! He slowly opened his eyes and noticed an amazing height alow his feet. Could he really jump?And right after Satoru wanted him to come back? He walked back a little a started shaking! "I just....can`t do it anyway...I wanted to hold you forever but when I saw you avoided me but not that lady, it burned me! I was jealous! If it is alright with you then I will come back for you..."He looked at the blue as he turned back and walked inside the building as he walked down from the stairs and looked around once more, he was still on the phone. "he,he! Do you know where I am now? At our high school! It hadn`t change since we where here!" He was saying that while leaving the place. He took a taxi and sat inside the cab, looking at the view, waiting for the car to stop. "Satoru, I`m coming...." His voice was gentle! He got to the hospital, he tipped the driver and entered, walking to his room. He opened the door to him and hung up as he smiled at him. "I`m back..." He said walking closer.

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"You're an idiot!" Satoru nearly yelled out into the phone as tears continued streaming down his phone. "A big idiot..." He whispered and covered up his eyes with his hand. "Making... Making me worried like this..." He whispered into the phone in between sobs. The writer couldn't believe how weak Subaru was. He wasn't worth this! He hadn't done anything, why was Subaru ready to kill himself just like that? It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. Truly... Satoru was the one who wanted to die now. Maybe that would be better for everyone? If he just.. Disappeared.

 

When Subaru came back, Satoru realized there was no use in trying to hold back his sobs. He dropped his phone away and burried his face into the pillow, his whole body trembling by now. "Idiot.." He whispered in between the sobs, clenching the pillow tightly. Truly, he didn't know what he was supposed to say now. He didn't feel the same about Subaru... He couldn't imagine them in a relationship. They were better off as friends... Right? The young brunet clenched his eyes closed tightly as he cried, clenching his teeth as well. Everything was horrible. His life was horrible. He wanted to die.

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Subaru loved the way the other yelled at him and called him idiot, he smiled and nodded while he was getting there. "Yeah...You are completely right, I am." He opened the door and saw the other still on the bed, crying. The other dropped his phone and covered his face into the pillow. 'Was he that much important?' He asked inside as he walked even closer and sat on the bed next to the other. He stumped his back and kissed the other`s head lightly and smiled. "Sorry if I made you worried, I won`t ever do it again, don`t cry any longer, okay?" He planned to grab the other`s hand and tried to turned his face back then he held the other tightly to calm him down, stay didn`t let go.

 

After a while, he moved back and started stroking the other`s hair. "I know you are sad and you want to die, you think there is nothing you can do anymore but you`re wrong, completely wrong! You can earn money and I will help you. Even other`s can, if you think that you should not put others in trouble then first borrow some money from them and after you healed, you can work and pay them back but don`t you ever think that you owe me something because you know it now...The only reason that I am living is for you so that`s my duty to stay by your side. I know you will understand, Satoru, I`m going to say it again....I love you." He silenced to hear the other`s word

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Subaru holding him didn't help at all. In fact, such a caring action just made him cry more, his body shaking uncontrolably by now. However, when the other began blabbering that nonsense about what he thought Satoru was feeling, he felt a twinge of anger. "Don't speak as if you know what I feel!" He yelled out as he hugged the pillow close to himself again. How could he know anything? Subaru could still walk, that alone was enough to prove he could never, ever feel what Satoru was feeling himself. "I won't borrow money... I won't take money... I'll get it all myself..." He whispered, his real sadness showing. The anger was just a tool he used to cover his real feelings up, even though what he said was true.

 

Hearing those three words made him freeze. Was he supposed to say he loved Subaru too? The young writer slowly lowered the pillow just enough to rest his chin on it, looking away from his friend with still teary eyes. He didn't feel the same. "I don't think I can say the same..." He muttered out as he began wiping his tears. Really, if Subaru even tried to help him do even such a puny action, he'd hit him. It wasn't like he was all paralyzed... Just the bottom half... He could still do things by himself. Once he learned how to use a wheelchair, he'd be able to do anything.

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Those words heart his heart, he moved back and stared at his cold back and listened to his cold words! He couldn`t take it but he still tried to be cool. "Why??I can feel because you`re the only one I think about all the day, when I eat, when I dream, when I work and study, when I play music, you are the first think in my mind! You can...at least say something so that I would be happy...You..."He fist his hands and stood up."You lied to me...You said that we`ll talk but you are saying the same thinks that you said before, that you won`t take any money. At this rate you might earn the right money but it would be to late, so why won`t you listen to me? I...came here for nothing I should have threw myself from the edge then but I didn`t because you got my hopes up."He turned away and walked to the wall as he calmed himself down a bit but he couldn`t. He started hitting his head to the wall as it started bleeding then he stopped putting his hand on his head. He smiled and looked away. "For you to accept me...I will do the same that happened to you but sorry if I died because it`s out of my control...on the same street...right after we leave here..." He said and slide his body down and sat on the floor

sobbing loudly. He whispeered again."I promise...I will..."

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