pandamonium Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Mathis felt his heart break at hearing Ryan cry. "Ryan. You're not a bad lover. You're an incredible person. I'm not worthy of you. You deserve someone better. Please understand..." He said quietly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 "I am a bad p-person you j-just said you h-hated me" Ryan tried to calm his breathing. "it's c-cause I c-couldn't make you l-love me" he choked on his tears "I'm just n-not good enough" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Mathis tried to keep his voice from cracking. "i lied. I do love you. For that reason I left. I'm not worthy of you. So don't cry for me. I'm not worthy of your tears. Good bye forever. I love you." Mathis hung up. He sobbed into his hands. He wished to be by Ryan's side, but he had already made up his mind. He looked at his phone and turned to the box on his bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 "No!" Ryan desperately tried to dial the number again, his hands shaking. He finally dropped his phone, unable to even see through his tears anymore, and let out a scream of despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Mathis ignored the incoming call and focused at the box. He opened it revealing various types of pills and a bottle of gin. "looks like it's time." He sighed and grinned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 Ryan managed to stumble to his feet. He grabbed his coat and bolted out of the door, he just wanted to see Mathis again. He managed to get to the man's house and desperately pounded on his door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Mathis had gotten drunk from the gin and taken the pills to numb the pain. He had stumbled towards his closet when he heard a pounding on his door. In his drunken phase, he searched for his gun and stood up with difficulty. The pounding was growing frantically and he couldn't stand it any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 "Mathis!" Ryan yelled, panic growing in his chest. What if the man wasn't there? What if he was out killing someone or if the police had found him? He kept slamming his fist against the door and slowly fell to his knees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis opened the door and saw Ryan crying on the floor. He was confused and pained to see him on the floor, crying. "R-Ryan?" He slurred. Â - - - Updated - - - Â Mathis opened the door and saw Ryan crying on the floor. He was confused and pained to see him on the floor, crying. "R-Ryan?" He slurred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ryan looked up and tried to wipe his tears away, but more came to his eyes almost immediatly. "M-Mathis, please don't l-leave me..." He begged, reaching up to grip the man's pants. "I'll do a-anything... I don't wanna be a-all alone..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis sighed and slid his hair back. "Ryan...pl-please don't c*hic*cry." He slurred as he plopped down next to Ryan. He gave him a hug and tried not to cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ryan pressed his face into Mathis' neck. "I-I can do all those things you talked about, the c-cutting you and s-stuff... I can be b-better.... P-please don't h-hate me Mathis..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis sighed and groaned as he stood up. "i wasn't sherious about thoshe things. I'm trying to push you away, but you shtuck by me." He slurred as he staggered inside his apartment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ryan stumbled to his feet and hurried into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind himself. "Mathis! Wait!" He wrapped his arms around the man's waist, hugging him from behind. "I-I get it... I know you hate me... Y-you keep saying that you never wanna see me again..." he dropped his hands to Mathis' belt buckle, fumbling to get it open. "I was all alone before I met you... A-and I don't wanna be all alone again, I can't live like that anymore... Even if it's just for sex, or if you want to get out all those urges that made you kill people..." he pressed a desperate kiss to the man's neck. "please..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis was taken by surprised when he felt Ryan's hand on his belt. He tried to pry them apart and shook his head. "i do-don't hate you. I...love you, but...i don't deserve you." He murmured in his drunken haze. He gave up trying to push Ryan away. "Ryan...I don't need you for sexual pleasure." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ryan gently tugged Mathis' pants down, tears returning to his eyes. "you have to need me for something... You don't need me for anything else... I'm just useless, I'm always useless..." he sniffled and turned Mathis around before dropping to his knees. He gripped the man's thighs and ran his tongue up his length. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis flinched and pushed Ryan away. He diverted up rather quickly from the shock. "Ryan! For the love of God! Stop!" He yelled. He panted heavily and fell to his knees. He hugged Ryan tightly and stroked his hair. "sorry for yelling, but you're not useless. I don't want you to be corrupted by me. You're kind and warm. I'm just...dead. Let it go and find someone worthy of you, because I don't deserve your kindness or love." He whispered to Ryan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 "Why can't I be enough for you?" Ryan choked out his voice hoarse from crying. "I don't want someone else... You're the only one who even bothered pretending to love me..." He didn't bother hugging him back and just leaned into the hug. "No one else would bother with someone like me... I'm just boring and useless..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Mathis grew angry with the way Ryan spoke of himself. Without thinking he slapped Ryan across the face. "Ryan! I won't let anyone talk that way about you, not even you. You think no one else will love you?" He yelled, but then calmed himself. "at first my feelings for you were...not real, but the longer i sipping time with you, the more i fell in love with you. You're kind, sweet, and fun. For those reasons, i know you'll find someone better." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ryan winced and looked away, his face stinging. "so you're just gonna be like everyone else?" He asked softly. "act like you think I'm gonna find someone new..." he roughly wiped his eyes. "I-I'm just boring, you say all those nice things just like everyone else... I'm just not good enough for you either" He stumbled to his feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Mathis felt his heart break. He didn't know anything about Ryan. He just assumed and never bothered to ask. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. All this time I was being selfish. I should have brought your feelings into consideration." He apologized and looked at Ryan, sadly. He didn't want to leave Ryan, he still loved him. They could probably still have a chance at happiness. "Ryan...I still love you.would you like to start again, from the beginning?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Ryan sat back down at Mathis' words. He sniffled and pulled the man into a hug. "y-yes... can we m-move somewhere completely new and just start again?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Mathis nodded say down on the ground next to him. He sighed and leaned onto Ryan's shoulder. "I'm a terrible person." He said with a chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Ryan held him tightly and sniffled softly. "no... I'm terrible... n-no one ever wants to stay with me... I shouldn't have assumed that you would..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Mathis chuckled and stood up. "no more of this pity party. Let's get drunk and enjoy ourselves!" He grinned and walked towards the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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