Kotorichan Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 Ryan rested his forehead against Mathis' shoulder, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself. "e-everyone always leaves me... I'm just not good enough for anyone... But I thought you would be different... I always thought you seemed special, like you might actually keep loving me and so I let myself fall for you completely..." he took a shuddering breath, just wanting to get everything off his chest. "guess it was just wishful thinking... you've probably already made up your mind about leaving me..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Mathis eyes widened. He let out a soft groan. "I'm sorry. I...just never fell got anyone. I'm not used to the closeness. But you're a great guy, that's why I'm not worthy of you." He tried to hold his tears at bay. "Ryan, you're really way too good for me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 "I'm not too good for you... I feel happy when I'm with you..." Ryan pulled back to look at him. "It's just that I keep imagining- imagining you k-killing people...it was s-such a shock when I found out... I just need some time to get over it..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Mathis gave a grim smile. "You'll never get over it. It'll haunt you." He stood staring, unmoving. His personality did a 180. "welp, let's have fun!" He grinned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Ryan felt like he wanted to cry again, Mathis clearly didn't think things would work out. He took a shaky breath and stood up, pulling the other man into a tight hug. "y-yes... lets have fun..." he murmured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Mathis clapped his hands in approval. "What should we do?" He felt such love and anger towards Ryan at this point. He loved his unwavering devotion,but grew angry of his inability to accept the failure of their relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 "I don't know... is there anything you want to do?" Ryan couldn't bring himself to look at Mathis. He felt like despite all his best efforts their relationship was doomed. He almost wanted to give up right away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Mathis could tell by looking at Ryan's eyes that he was giving up. Growing tired of this tragic romance. He smiled and grew closer. "How about...one last romp. Hmm?" He tried to keep his calm demeanor from crumbling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Ryan felt his chest tighten even more at the man's words. "Last? You said you'd give me a week Mathis!" His voice sounded almost angry. "Even if this doesn't work out, can't you just let me pretend for one week? or do you just hate me now?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Mathis bit his lip. Trying to maintain a cool demeanor, but failing. "Shut up! I just..." He began to cry our of anger and pain. Ryan, why can't you understand? He sighed, turning his attention elsewhere. "You're right. I'm just...not sure of what to do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Ryan flinched when Mathis raised his voice, surprised by the sudden anger. "can't we both just try? if it doesn't work then I won't keep pushing you... but I know that it won't work if you're just going to be waiting for the week to end so you can leave me..." he said softly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Mathis looked away. He knew that Ryan spoke the truth. He just wanted all of this to end. To go back to before he had fallen for him. "You're right. Sorry." He'd rather not argue anymore than they already had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Ryan sadly hugged the man, pressing his face into his neck. "I really love you Mathis... I mean it..." he breathed, trying to calm down the panic in his chest. "Please just let me try to make this work, even if you don't believe it'll work" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Mathis nodded. "Alright. If you think it can, then let's make an effort." He was tired. He felt emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. Hejust wanted to sleep and never wake up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Ryan finally managed a genuine smile and gave Mathis a slight squeeze. "thank you..." He pulled away and brushed the man's hair back. "do you want to just relax for a bit?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Mathis nodded. He looked at Ryan, giving a small smile. "Would you mind carrying me? I'm tired." He wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck. He just wanted to sleep and not be able to think of what occurred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 "Yeah, of course..." Ryan did his best to smile down at the man before picking him up and carrying him to the bedroom. He still wasn't sure if Mathis was going to let him try to make things work, and he was a little bit worried about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Mathis clung tightly to Ryan. Taking in his scent. "I love you, Ryan." He knew at some point he'll have to open up about himself during this week. "Ryan. I need to tell you about me. Past and present." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Ryan sat down on the bed, keeping Mathis in his lap. "I love you too Mathis..." he said, a frown forming on his lips. "go ahead, what do you need to tell me?" he couldn't help but feel nervous, knowing that it must be something important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Mathis took a deep breathe and exhaled a shaky breathe. "You might be surprised, but I actually hadpretty normal life. A loving mother and hardworking father. My mom liked to wear this lavender scented perfume. High school was alright. College was another story. I had a girlfriend who I loved dearly. Sure was my everything. I wanted to give her the world, until one fateful night I...murdered her. She broke my heart. She left me. She always smelt like Jasmine. That horrid perfume. Always too strong for my taste. He smelled like her. So he needed to die, too. The rush was something...I can't really describe. It was addicting." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Ryan could feel himself growing tense with each word that Mathis said. He was imagining everything that the man described. "W-why are you telling me this?" he whispered, his throat dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Mathis turned his attention to Ryan. "To see if it's true what they about how love conquers all our some bullshit like that. You never realized how deep shit was, did you? I've said I'm insane, you should have listened." Mathis gave a malicious grin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Ryan looked away, a strained expression on his face. "so you're just telling me this to try to scare me away?" he sighed and shook his head. "you must be so sick of me..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Mathis rolled his eyes. "Where did you come to that conclusion? If I was indeed bored of you I would have just kicked your ass out and told you that you bore me. But I haven't done that. I've just run away. It's more like trying to let you escape from my web before I devour you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Ryan frowned and looked at him again. "it's too late for that Mathis... I don't like hearing about the things you've done, or thinking about it either... but I already know that I'd feel worse without you..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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