Life of a soldier (Attack on Titan 1x1 with {｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel)

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin sighed quietly as the other talking, nearly falling over in exhaustion… he really, obviously needed his sleep. Alcohol could wait for the morning, really… or just later tomorrow. “I understand where you’re coming from on the situation, cadet. I may put you in charge of a smaller squad, if you are suitable enough to do so.” Erwin knew that the other had every right to be arrogant. He was a good soldier, better than others, and good at what he did. He appreciated the fact that he wasn’t arrogant though, because arrogance also got in the way of things… it made you think that you were unstoppable, and no matter what, you could win, even though a lot of the time, arrogance is what got good soldiers killed in battle.

 

As the other soldier announced the fact that he was going to be leaving, Erwin nodded to the other and muttered, “It was a pleasure to see you again, cadet. I hope to see you return soon.” Walking towards his bedding area, he made his way to the candle that was lit next to his bed and blew out the flame, flopping onto his bed in an unprofessional manner, and closed his eyes. He really needed this rest… he knew he wasn’t going to get too much sleep, though he was going to get the most that he possibly could out of this…

[InkompleteWish]

The night wasn't over for Aaron yet. After having left Erwin's office he did make his way back to Hange. The woman started to talk about everything that happened while he was gone and Aaron tried to make sure that she didn't skip something. But apparently she didn't and around midnight he was informed of everything. During the conversation, Hange often drifted into asking him questions again. It annoyed Aaron a bit but that is just how Hange is so he tried politely to bring her back on track. "Thanks, I guess I know everything I need for now. Night Hange." he said to his commanding officer and left her room. The soldier missed many things, it was almost unbelievable.

 

But now that he knew, he found it easier to relax himself. His feet carried him to the sleeping quarters and he made his way towards his little room. Since they couldn't give everyone a room for themselves, he had to share but his latest room mate died so Aaron had the room for himself for now. After today’s events it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Aaron never dreamt anything during his night rest so morning came uneventful. Aaron stood up like always and readied himself for the day to come. Though he did wonder what he would do until the special training started. The blue haired soldier hated to sit around and do nothing.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin’s night didn’t come easy for him either. Though, for different reasons.…Unlike Aaron, Erwin was plagued with nightmares and night-tremors galore. After about twenty thorough years of seeing everyone he valued die around him… he just couldn’t really take it. He hated it. He hated going to sleep, despite the fact that he needed it so desperately. Dreams of destruction, despair… he wasn’t sure which was worth; living or dreaming. Living was hell… you saw people actually die. Though dreaming was somehow even worse. Everyone’s death just plays over and over again in your head until you remember it forever.

 

When morning came, Erwin never talked of his dreams. Nobody asked, so he never bothered. He was exhausted still, wanting to sleep, though knowing he couldn’t, got up and got dressed. Being the commander was nice, in an aspect at least. He got the most comfortable room… yet he hardly got to use it. It all reality, it would be better if the soldiers got those beds instead of hay beds…. The soldiers deserved it because they did more, really… all Erwin really did was dish out orders to cadets during their expeditions. Fixing his tie as he looked in the mirror, he made his way out of the room, his eyes holding a bit of an edge in them. He just wanted to go back to sleep…. Though that wouldn’t happen for a long time.

[InkompleteWish]

His morning was rather uneventful, just like his sleep last night. He washed his body, clothed himself and made himself ready for the day. His first stop during the morning is the dinning hall. Most of the soldiers were already here and eating. Aaron himself made his way towards the kitchen counter where someone was distributing the meal for everyone. It was usual for them to have a little group of soldiers that cook for the whole HQ for a few days. They couldn't afford to hire a chef or anything of the like so they had to do everything themselves. Considering that most of the soldiers were males, the quality of the meal was suffering. The meal usually consisted of small potions and easy food. Like oatmeal and a slice of bread or something.

 

After getting his own potion he looked for a free place to sit down, it was a bit harder since he could only see half of the hall but he eventually managed to spot Levi and Hange sitting in a corner, away from the other soldiers. Just like before he made his way towards them and sat down. It was usual that they greeted each other and engaged in small talk (mostly Hange and Aaron) and ate now and then. This morning however wasn't the usual however. Levi wasn't 'fighting' with Hange like usual and said woman didn't even try to aggravate the corporal. She did possess some sort of self-control after all.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin let out a small huff as he heard the feet of waking soldiers stomp through the hallways in a rather obnoxious manner. Really, he just wanted to get more sleep. Was that too much to ask for? Heck, he could even hear others talking about the events of the other day. Weren’t they over this already? There was nothing that they could do about the past, and that was final. Groaning softly, he rolled over in his bed, tangled up in his sheets. His head was nestled in one of the few pillows that were scattered on his bed. It had been somewhat chilly last night, so he made sure that he was bundled up nicely.

 

Though, as he heard the noises become louder, he made his way out of bed in a groggy manner. Running a hand through his golden blonde hair, he walked towards his closet and pulled out his daily uniform. This was all routine, so it went by quickly. With his nightwear in the hamper, he was dressed in his combat uniform. He had tucked in his bolo tie by the time the sun was completely up. Stretching, the commander made his way out of the office, and began to walk towards the mess-hall. He really needed some food in his system..

[InkompleteWish]

Aaron continued eating his oatmeal and didn't find the heart to talk at the moment. It was Levi's decision if he wanted to talk about it or not. Hange already told him the things he needed to know. The mess-hall was loud and the other soldiers weren't really eating but rather talking the whole time. It made it hard to concentrate. And though the silence was a bit uncomfortable on their table, Levi soon broke it and asked for his health. "It's fine. A bit weird to run around with half of my eyesight but I will manage." the blue haired soldier answered and soon all three of them engaged into small talk about. Levi was rather talkative this morning but Aaron didn't mind at all and he didn't question it either.

 

The table was a bit empty though, without Petra and the others. Erwin wasn’t here yet either. It was a bit weird actually, but they would get used to it sooner or later. And though they might get used to it, they would never forget their comrades. Aaron heard from Hange that they had to sacrifice the bodies so Aaron hoped that he would someday be able to hold a memorial ceremony for Levi’s old squad. They deserved it as much as any other soldier that fell in this war. But this had to wait until they won it, so Aaron wanted to stay alive till he fulfilled this wish.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin made his way out of his rooming area. He was still exhausted today… he really just wished that he could sleep in today and skip breakfast. He wasn’t even hungry today. Stretching as he walked towards the mess hall, the blonde commander had a bit of an edge to his step, moving in a fast-paced manner, just wanting to get the day over with. They had given the trainees a day off, so that they would be able to mourn. They were getting back to training and planning tomorrow. After he made a speech about the dining hours, and the plans for tomorrow, he’d be able to make it back to his room, and maybe, just maybe, get some sleep…as long as there wasn’t any paperwork greeting him when he got back.

 

Making his way towards the usual table that he sat with, which was with Levi, Hange, and Aaron…and what used to be all of Levi’s squad. He was obviously not in the mood for today, and it was written on his face. His face said ‘I’m okay’, though his eyes screamed ‘kill me please’. Once he got to the table, he noticed that they were all talking. Deciding not to disrupt the conversation, he sat down next to Aaron and remained silent, resting his head in his arms quietly, closing his eyes. He really, really, just needed some good sleep…

[InkompleteWish]

Soon enough the small talk switched to the usual bicker between Hange and Levi. The corporal tried to appear normal, so that no one would be worried about him. Of course his closest friends were able to see through that but they as well wanted to appear like normal. They were soldiers and though they could mourn, they should act like soldiers. For humanity they had to get their shit together and continue fighting. That is what it meant to be a soldier, to give it your all and not be swayed too much. It was clear that death was involved so all of them had to accept the fact, even if death took one of their loved ones. That is why they were fighting wasn't it? To stop the meaningless killing of the titans and that’s why they volunteered so they all know the consequences.

 

Levi wasn't Levi if he wouldn't get over it. So Aaron wasn't worried for his friend. So he just listened to the bickering, just like before. His gaze shifted towards Erwin when the other sat down next to him. The other seemed really sleepy. "Didn't sleep well?" he asked, merely interested. Aaron hadn't heard that the chief had trouble to sleep. It was good that he didn't have any dreams or nightmares he guessed an advantage from his childhood years. The soldier didn't want to bother the other that much but the mess hall wasn't a good place to sleep. Concerning the noise and all.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

The bickering of the two underlings was rather annoying to say the least. Why was it that the day that Erwin just wanted to get some reast during breakfast was the day these two were the most talkative? Lips twitching the slightest bit in annoyance as the brunette and raven continued to complain and argue, the blonde-haired chief rolled his head in his arms, a curt sigh being released past his lips, his icy blue eyes opening for merely a minute before he closed them once more. He wasn't the type of man who enjoyed the idea of talking early in the morning hours... at least, when he was like this that is.

 

 

Though, when the blue-haired soldier beside him asker him a question, Erwin turned his head just enough to shoot a glance at him. "Oi..." That was his way of usually saying "hello" to other people, at least the ones who he deemed close to him. "Sleep doesn't come easy these days. And how was yours', cadet?" He questioned quietly, his lips moving in a rather lethargic manner as he tried to form words, his mouth hardly opening as he spoke.

[InkompleteWish]

It was clear that Erwin wasn't in the mood to talk much or actually stayed awake. "Nothing unusual, like always." he replied shortly since he knew that Erwin didn't want to get a large explanation so early in the morning. Hopefully the other would be able to stay awake during the day; Aaron didn't want Erwin to fall asleep while instructing them. Firstly it wasn't good for his body and mind and secondly it would leave a bad impression if even the Chief couldn't sleep during the night. "Maybe you can take a nap later on." he suggested, his formal speech not present in the morning. That was one of his quirks yet again, though he had an uneventful night, the next morning he would be too sluggish to actually try and talk politely.

 

"Oi Carter." a low voice drifted towards them from the other side of the table. Levi and Hange obviously stopped quarrelling by now. Since the shorter male called him, the blue haired soldier shifted to his friend. "We are going training today, we have to get your useless body back into shape." the black haired male spoke and Aaron only chuckled. "Of course." was the short reply and so one part of his day was already reserved for his training session with Levi. It wasn't probably just training though Levi wanted to ask him something, away from the others of the squad.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin sighed as the other mentioned his normal sleeping pattern. Aaron was lucky, being able to lack dreams during his sleep. Erwin was more of a day-dreamer...dreams during his sleep, however, were a nuisance... it had his mind going and going throughout the night, not resting like he wanted it to. "A nap seems pretty fine to me, honestly..." Erwin murmured tiredly, nestling his head in his own arms. If he could get at least get a quick, five to ten minute nap, that would be amazing...it would maybe give him enough energy to last through the instructions that he had for the day. Hearing the bickering stop, he felt himself slowly starting to drift into sleep, obviously exhausted... he knew that he had promised to help Levi with guiding the cadets, given the fact that Levi had...well...some issues with the cadets, and Erwin was much better at grasping their attention...but he was far too tired to possibly do that today.

[InkompleteWish]

(Sorry for the long wait, last week had been kinda busy.)

 

Aaron and Levi talked in quite voices since both of them noticed that Erwin tried to get a little sleep. Even Hange was quite for once and ate her meal silently. The shorter male wanted to know how he'd been in the hospital and how they treated him. Obviously it wasn't a vacation but the hospital and it's staff was actually really good. They treated him like they would treat the others. Aaron didn't want to be treated different just because he is a soldier. So it was refreshing to know that they appreciated his efforts during fights and not treated him like some kind of hero. He wasn't one after all and he wished for it to stay that way. The blue haired soldier had problems with getting attention; he would rather fade in the background. That's why he declined every promotion in his earlier soldier years.

 

After their little chit chat ended they ate their food and Aaron let his gaze shift over the different people in the hall. The new recruits, the old ones and he tried to see who was missing. His body was already waiting for the chance to train again. So that he will be able to fight with everyone again and maybe keep someone from losing their lives. That was the best accomplishment for him, to make sure that no one died. Losing an eye was just a small sacrifice for the life of one of his comrades.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

When he heard most people leave the room, Erwin, in his drowsy state, got up from the table and instantly began to make his way out of the mess hall. The blonde really wasn't in the mood for anything today, he was actually quite exhausted in all truthfulness, and everyone at the table knew that.

 

Walking towards his office, he looked around. There was definitely less soldiers than the previous day... it was visible, and that was probably the worst part abou all of it... the fact that they could actually see the fact that a lot of their soldiers died... it was rather discouraging. Though, taking in the consideration that he had been working in the Survey Corps for nearly twenty years, he decided to push the thought aside.. he really didn't have the time to worry about something as trivial as life and death. Even if he died, it wouldn't be all that big of a deal.

 

Erwin had about ten minutes untl he had to go out and make a speach as to what everyone was doing today. Tonight, there was going to be a service in honor of the fallen soldiers. Surprisingly, this was all Hange's idea. Erwin didn't even feel like holding a service for the soldiers, as respectful as that would be to honor their deaths... Erwin really didn't feel like making another memorial service... he was just so tired...

 

Making his way towards his bed, he decided to lay down for a few moments... at least he could rest his legs for a few moments... that was a nice idea...

[InkompleteWish]

Soon enough Erwin left them to their own devices. It would take some time until the usual routine would return, until then they had to accept the fact that they will be more stressed than usual. But since Erwin was one with the most responsibility, he was even more stressed. That's why many of the recon corps tried not to bother him to much during that time. And just like that they let him leave. After all of them were done, Levi offered to do some easy exercises with him. Nothing that involved fighting yet but rather how he can cope with just one eye in daily life. Motor skills and the like. Levi also tried to teach him to concentrate on his hearing, since he was missing half of his eye power he had to be better at other skills. And hearing was the best out of all.

 

During these exercises they talked a bit. About the expedition and Levi even admitted his feelings. Aaron wasn't good in cheering someone up, so he offered to go drinking with Levi. Though the blue haired soldier can only drink a small amount without getting drunk, it would be worth it. Even if he would have a hangover the next day.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin had ended up giving his speach about fifteen minutes later to the trainees... it wasn't much for the day, and when he gave the agenda, it was obvious that the man was exhausted. The new recruits had some hand-to-hand combat training in the field later that day, of which was being run by Mike. The second year cadets were going to be working on cleaning and preparing food for the night. Tonight, they were having simple food. There was going to be no spectacular feast, like there would be if they had one a battle... they had no right to eat in such a manner, especially now that their friends weren't allowed to stay around and indulge in the food. And all of the advanced and injured cadets would be preparing the ceremonial burning, where they were going to burn the carriages that were used to carry the dead bodies before they had to be released to the titans.

 

Levi had told Erwin that him and Aaron were going to go drinking that night after the practice... and Erwin was somewhat relieved. At least the attention from him and Levi would be drawn away for once. There was a nasty rumor spreading around the cadet quarters that the Commander and the Corporal were having an affair... although, there was a time that they had both gotten drunk, and they had sex later that night...it was really nothing more, at least for Erwin. Levi always made advances on Erwin, sometimes around other people, though mostly in the dead of night when no other trainee was around to see it. Erwin was thankful that this time, it was Aaron, not him, who would have to deal with the intoxicated corporal.

 

The blonde had been awake the whole day, signing more and more paperwork by the minute, not enjoying the fact that this took more time away from his ability to sleep, or at least relax for a few moments. Every other trainee had the day off...except for Erwin.

[InkompleteWish]

Aaron yawned when he walked around the castle. It's been some time after all. It was nostalgic to walk along the halls yet again. As cliché as it sounded, this was his home. He had no other place he could stay at. Though the rooms were shared and the beds rather hard after a hard day, it was still better than to sleep in the run down building that they called 'orphanage'. Especially since the corporal cleaned every nook and cranny after a mission. The blue haired soldier got the feeling that Levi dealt with the soldier's death like that. Others would cry day after day or would start hurting themselves. Levi found a better way to cope with this; he merely cleaned until his hands were nearly raw. Everyone had a different way, for Levi it was cleaning and for Aaron it was seeking the company of others. He wondered how Erwin thought about this. Though he is the commander and had to act like such but Erwin was still a human being.

 

Either way, their training had ended a while ago and Aaron is finding it easier to see with one eye now or do something. Like grabbing a cup without spilling it’s contend since he can't see. Of course he didn't master it yet but it felt easier now at least. Aaron didn't know how Levi got when he was drunk, since the soldier never joined the drinking parties before.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Erwin found the night to be rather unsettling. There was going to be a memorial at midnight. He knew that there was going to be a high amount of intoxicated soldiers that were drowning their feelings with ale... he knew that quite well. Erwin, however, knew that he had no right to drink, nor had the right to mourn... he was a commander, he setn everyone to their deaths. He knew how it all worked. He knew that everyone blamed him for what happened... and he was okay with that. All of this would end up being for the better... he was almost sure about that...

 

Getting out of his chair, he stretched leisurely. He had just finished his work...well, paper-work, which was for the families for those who died. There was no money they sent out for the death of the soldiers, just a letter and some of the stuff that soldier had in their quarters, like clothing and such. Though as horrible as it was... Erwin, Hange, and Levi kept the personal objects like the diaries and messages for themselves to analyze. They wanted to see what was going on with the soldiers. Ever since what happened with Eren being known as a titan-shifter, they had began to store all of the personal files in their own little hideaway.

 

Now that he was finished with his work, the blonde commander had decided that it would probably be a good idea to catch up Aaron and Levi... he hadn't really seen many people all day. He had a few cadets come in his office, however. Armin, one of the younger cadets, had been there with him. Sasha and Connie were also sent to his office by Levi for misbehaving. He was used to having Petra and the rest of them in his office, casually sitting around, trying to find different ways to impress Levi, and Erwin just listening to their silly banter... though that was all gone now...

[InkompleteWish]

After ending his nostalgic tour around the castle he walked towards the meeting point that he agreed with Levi on. They would get a few bottles of alcohol and sit down in Levi's office. Though they could go drinking in the mess hall, both of them wanted to drink quietly. It wasn't long before he spotted the smaller male and walked up to him. They did some small talk and continued their way to the storage to get their needed booze.

 

After they got their items: one bottle of wine, beer and whisky, they began walking towards Levi's office. Since the other was considerate, Aaron just had to carry the bottle of wine. It didn't take long for them to arrive and they slumped down on the chairs that Levi had in his office. Only Erwin had the advantage of a coach in his office. So now that they were set they started drinking. It was still going slow, both of them started with the beer.

[{｡^◕‿◕^｡}Ciel]

Truly, it had been awhile since he had even been drinking last. Though, he knew that drinking was something that was usually carried by a soldier who suffered from depression or grief... and Erwin had a horrendous plethora of mental-instabilities caused by war. And yet... he still did not take the chance to sip at the burning drug that was used to sedate long emotions from the past, and used to unveil new desires and to let yourself go for merely a night, a night of integrity and freedom, in a way.

 

The blonde made his way towards the corporal's office... he didn't really know what he wanted. He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted comfort and a bed to sleep in for the night, or if he wanted to just sit there and relax... either one sounded just dandy to him, to be quite frank.

 

As he made his was towards the corporal's housing unit, he hit his hand against the door with a small sigh, hoping that the door would be unlocked for him.

[InkompleteWish]

Aaron sighed after he downed his first beer. So far everything was still normal. Neither Levi nor he was drunk, so things weren't awkward yet. Though they wanted to drink in silence, Aaron couldn't stand the quietness in the room so he started talking again. Though the blue haired soldier hasn't joined the drinking parties before, he does know that Levi gets rather emotionally when he is drunk. But according to Hange, the shorter male could down a few chugs without getting drunk. So he started the conversation with a light topic, how he's been and what he missed. How the new recruits are and so forth. Aaron wouldn't talk about Levi's old squad; the corporal had to do the first step of telling him. It was just fair.

 

After a while his gaze shifted towards the door. Someone knocked on it, but who could it be at such a late hour? "I'll get it." the soldier spoke and put his mug down. His steps were still steady and he opened the door to come face to face with the commander. "Sir." he acknowledged the other and opened the door wider. He wondered what Erwin was here for, maybe to talk with Levi? But maybe he just wanted to join them, the possibility was still there.