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Remembrance (pigeon x pandamonium)


pandamonium
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The man nodded. "Yes. I'll show you. There's also a spa and gym near here."

He walked toward the got and waited for them to finish looking around the apartment.

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Sarin smiled up at Andres, it took all his will power not to kiss the man. Looking at the apartments was making him extremely excited about moving in together. He quickly turned away and walked after the guide.

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The guide led them to the center of the apartments. In the center there was a pool and surrounding it were trees and bushes. A hot tub was at a father corner.

"Here is the pool. The closest gym is at the doing center next to here. Anything else you'd like to ask me?"

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Sarin looked around for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I think I've seen everything I need to... What about you Andres?" He looked over at the man.

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Andres nodded, holding out to shake the man's hand.

"Thank you for the tour."

The man nodded, shaking his hand.

"No problem. Here. It's my card. If you need more information please call me."

He handed them the card. Leading them back to the lobby.

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Sarin shook the man's hand too and started to walk back to the car. "I liked this place... And the guy was nice too..."Sarin walked a little closer to Andres, lightly touching his hand "you're way nicer though"

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Andres nodded.

"Yeah. It's pretty cool. But I also liked the first place we checked out. It was more secluded."

He brushed his hand against Sarin.

"I better be the nicer one. Don't wanna lose you to that guy."

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Sarin glanced down at his hand. "Hey... When we move out... Are we gonna be open with our relationship or will we still have to hide it?" he asked softly.

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Andres stopped in his tracks. He turned to Sarin. He scratched his head. "I don't know...I'm kinda...not ready..."

He looked away. "I'm sorry..."

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Sarin frowned and dropped his gaze to the ground, slipping his hands into his pockets. "it's okay... At least we'll have our own apartment..." He sighed and kept walking to the car.

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Andres sighed. "I'm really sorry. Look...I'll explain in the car. It's the least I can do."

He followed Sarin close by.

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Sarin frowned at his words. "Andres, I'm not mad at you. I know that coming out is a really hard thing and you should be comfortable... I'd like to be open with it, but we don't have to" He gave the man a sad smile and got in the car.

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Andres shook his head. "That's not the main reason. Look. I would love to have our relationship open for the world to see, but...There's some reasons why I can't be very open. I want you in my life til the day I die..."

He walked ahead towards the car.

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Sarin frown slightly at the man's words, not understanding at all. He got into the car and waited for Andres to get in so that he could explain his reasoning.

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Andres did a quick scan of the area, before getting into the car and closing the door. He took a deep breathe and exhaled.

"Okay...the 'business' my parents run...It's not really considered 'legal'."

He kept his eyes on the seeing wheel.

"It's organized crime. They specialize in drug trafficking and weapons smuggling."

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Sarin stared at the man, his eyes wide with shock and horror. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally speaking. "...What?"

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Andres sighed. "You heard me. They run a cartel. My parents specialize in the west coast. From Arizona to Washington and of course neighboring States. They have connections from South America and the Pacific islands. My mom's the head of it all, but she uses my dad as a puppet."

He was shaking slightly from revealing such a private thing.

"Look...I'm sure you're freaking out, but don't let anyone know about this. If you want out, I'll fly you anywhere you wanna go and give you enough money to live the rest of your life in luxury. Just don't tell nobody or...I'll have to do something I'll regret."

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Sarin turned away, his shoulders shaking. He had an idea of what Andres would do if he told anyone. "I-I need to lay down..." He whispered, his voice hoarse.

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He gave a small nod.

"Just...pull your seat back. I have to head home. Pretend this conversation never happened. If you try to bring it up...I'll pretend it never happened."

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Sarin let out choked sob, he had no idea how Andres had expected him to react to this information. He leaned the seat back and curled up as much as he could without taking off his seat belt, facing away from Andres.

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Andres felt his chest clench. This nice day was ruined by telling him the family business. He should have eased him into it. He drove quietly. Never giving a glance towards Sarin for fear of seeing him look at him like a demon.

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Sarin began to silently cry as they drove, keeping his hands over his face. He had finally started to feel like he was safe and could be comfortable in life for a little bit, and now everything was tumbling apart.

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As they approached his home, Andres gently patted Sarin's leg.

"We're here."

He pulled into the garage and turned off the car.

"I'm really sorry. I should've told you sooner."

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Sarin jumped at the sudden contact and pulled his leg away. "W-what the hell did you expect me to do? Y-you're the only person who's ever even pretended to give a shit about me and then you just drop this on me?" He shuddered and kept his face covered. "Then you say you'd be fine with never seeing me again and- and even killing me?" he sobbed, trying to keep from raising his voice. "And the only thing you can apologize for is t-that you didn't tell me s-sooner?"

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Andres flinched and looked away. "No! That's not true. Look...I do love you and I'd hate to see you go, but I thought that this news would be too much for you. I felt like I was lying to you."

He felt tears prick his eyes. "I-I never pretended to care for you and the death threat...I have to protect my parents. Even though I don't agree with what they do...they're my parents. I have an obligation towards them."

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