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Remembrance (pigeon x pandamonium)


pandamonium
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Sarin backed away from Andres, his words stung more than the man could possibly know. He didn't have anything, he had left his job and home, he didn't have any family to depend on... All he had was the bags he had packed. He knew from experience that he could live with what he had brought for about a week before things would get dangerous. Sarin's thoughts began to spiral, he didn't know anything about the town, he didn't have any way of researching it. If he got kicked out then he might end up getting stuck on the streets for the rest of his life. The feeling of panic rose until it was unbearable. Without any extra thought he dressed himself and snuck through the house towards the front door. He would feel a lot safer if he had a plan in case things with Andres went sour.

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Andrew spent hours locked in his room, starting at the ceiling. How could he think that? I live him and I wouldn't be able to stand marrying someone who wasn't him. I'd rather be alone fruit the rest of my life if it meant we couldn't be together.

He snapped from his thoughts at the sound of loud knocking on his door. He quickly got up, expecting Sarin, but it turned out to be his mother's assistant.

"Sorry to bother you, but I'm sorry to inform you that your friend left without informing anyone about his whereabouts. We've already searched the entire estate, but no sign of him."

Andres felt his stomach drop.

"He-he's gone?"

He began to panic, grabbing his hair. "Well, go look for him! Don't just stand there! Search!"

The man flinched, but nodded. Hiring to find others to help in the search. Andres felt a panic attack approaching. Was Sarin leaving him? Was he done with him? He quickly ran out of his room. Leaving the estate in a run.

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Sarin had found his way to the downtown area of the city. He wandered around aimlessly trying to clear his head. He felt silly for thinking that Andres would throw him out without any warning or support, but he still couldn't fight the fear. Finally he stopped at a bus stop on a main street. There weren't any buses running at this time of night but it was right in front of a 24 hour diner so he knew it was one of the safest places to be right now. He leaned back and stared blankly at the sky, keeping an eye on the position of the moon so that he could be back before sunrise. Sarin really didn't think anyone would notice as long as he was back before they woke up.

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Andres ran around like a madman. Calling out Sarin's name all the way. As he took a break, his phone rang. He quickly answered.

"H-hello?" He panted.

"We've located him."

"Where?!" He nearly yelled in the phone.

The man nervously gave him the address and Andres sighed in relief.

"Stay there! I'm close by. I'll be three in fifteen!"

He said as he began running in the general direction.

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Sarin was still in the same spot, curled up on the bench. He was trying to think through his plan. He had seen enough of the city to start to understand what he would need to do if he ever got kicked out of Andres' home. He buried his face in his knees and sniffled, wishing that this wasn't something he had to worry about.

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Panting heavily with sweat dripping from his face. Andres began to slow down as he saw a figure in the shadows.

"Sa-Sarin? Sarin! Sarin!" He called out as he found renewed strength to continue running.

"Sarin!" He wrapped Sarin in a tight hug as he began to cry from relief.

"Why'd you run away?" He croaked, sniffing in his chest.

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Sarin jumped at the sound of Andres' voice. He looked up, his face wet with tears. "W-what?" He froze as he was pulled into the hug, unsure of how to respond. "W-what are you talking about?"

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Andres let go, quickly wiping his eyes. "I-I thought you were running away! So you weren't?"

He let out a sigh of relief.

"I was so worried. You should've told someone that you were going out. I was scared that you had run away cuz of our argument earlier."

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"I wasn't running away..." Sarin murmured, slowly pulling away. "And I didn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't notice as long as I came back before you woke up"

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Andre bit his lip. "But...why didn't you want to tell me? Offs it because of our argument earlier? I'm really sorry for losing my temper, but...it doesn't mean you should go out without telling me. I would've found out sooner or later, y'know."

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"You probably would have asked why I was going out..." Sarin mumbled, staring at the ground. "And I didn't think it was that important if I went somewhere"

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Andres sighed. "I'm being too clingy, aren't I? I'll give you space. Just tell me. I...I don't want to lose you."

He bent forward and intertwined their hands together.

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Sarin held the man's hand tightly. "I... After you got angry at me I realized that I'll have no where to go if you get really angry at me and kick me out then I'll have no where to go..." He blinked back tears of fear. "I don't have any friends or family, i don't have a job... I just wanted to look around so that if you h-hated me and kicked me out I'd have a plan..."

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Andres frowned. "I'd never do that. Do you think so lowly of me? That I'd want to kick you out when I'm upset? I brought you here. I took you away from your roommates and your previous life because I couldn't stand the idea of not being with you. If our relationship were to end, I wouldn't kick you out to the curb. Remember how I said I would support you and have you live in comfort for the rest of your life? I meant it. So don't worry about me kicking you out. If it'll make you feel better, we could get this notarized. So you could take me to court if I fall to provide for you. Sound fair?"

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"I don't think lowly of you" Sarin said quietly. "I just think lowly of myself, I really don't see how anyone could see me as worth the effort..." He leaned against Andres and closed his eyes. "I don't want to get legal stuff involved... I still get nervous that I'll get found if I do anything with records"

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Andres held onto Sarin tightly. "I see you in a different light, I guess. I see your flaws, but not as something bad. I see you as a human. Broken, but beautiful. It makes me want to protect you. Because I believe you deserve so many things. Like love, support, affection and protection. And I want to be the person to give you all that and more."

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"But I made you mad..." Sarin mumbled. "Because I was insecure, you got mad at me... What if it happens again but is worse? you might not see those flaws as good things anymore" his voice hitched as he spoke as if he was going to start crying.

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Andres wrapped an arm around Sarin. "Of course we'll get mad in the future. Relationships aren't prefect and why should they? Whenever we get problems, we shouldn't run away from them, we should solve them. Because what will end this relationship is running away from our problems. I honestly love you, Sarin. Why is that so hard to believe?"

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"I don't know..." Sarin mumbled, leaning into Andres' chest. "I'm not used to anyone loving me I guess..." he sniffled and hugged the man tightly. "Can we... Can we go home now?" he asked weakly. "I don't wanna be out here anymore..."

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Andres smiled. "I know...and I'll wait until the day you understand how much I love you."

He pulled out his phone, when he noticed the diner across the street.

"Have you eaten? If not, I want to take you on a date to the diner over there."

He grinned, looking at Sarin.

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Sarin shook his head slowly. "I don't have any money..." he mumbled. He looked up and gave Andres a slight smile. "This is a kind of funny time for a date... Isn't it?"

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Andres laughed. "It is, but I don't wanna go back just yet. Plus, I like treating you. It makes me happy."

He stood up and held his hand out for Sarin to grasp.

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Sarin smiled and took his hand. "You shouldn't spoil me too much" He said as he stood up. "It might start to go to my head." He didn't let go of Andres' hand once he was up, instead he just held on even tighter.

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Andres laughed. "It's fine. I like spoiling you. So relax."

Hee gave him a reassuring squeeze as he lead the way to the diner.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

Andres laughed. "It's fine. I like spoiling you. So relax."

Hee gave him a reassuring squeeze as he lead the way to the diner.

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"Well, if you like it then I guess it's fine..." Sarin followed him, shivering slightly at a cold breeze. "I should've brought a jacket or something..." He mumbled. "I guess I really didn't think this through"

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