My Light and My Darkness (18+) < Zombie_In_A_Box & Atemluver >

[Atemluver]

Pretty soon one of the male nurses knocked on the door and proceeded to enter. He looked nice and caring, he has a gentle tone to his voice. It was the first time Jadon got to hear the doctors last name, and it caused Jadon to question why the doctor wouldn't want Jadon to call him Doctor Menwood. Jadon simply brushed it off as personal preference. "Um..is it possible for me to get a bath? It would help me to feel better..." Jadon spoke softly, a little afraid that his request would be turned down. However, he really wanted a bath so he was prepared to beg the nurse if he had to.

 

As he waited for the nurses reply, he could not help but worry a little about his doctor. He knew Doctor Eugine was acting strange during the visit, but he could not shake his feeling of worry. He knew a few kids who had eating disorders so he knew the signs pretty well. "Um...Is Doctor Manwood...okay? Maybe...He should see a doctor.." Jadon didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

The dark-skinned nurse let out a smile at the request and nodded. "Sure thing. Can you walk by yourself, with assistance or do you need a wheelchair? At worst, I could just carry you... It's just a few rooms away, too." The nurse realized he was getting into rambling about useless stuff again... He let out a soft smile and shook his head. "Sorry, I tend to talk without thinking much." He admitted with a light smile on his face. He didn't want to be seen as annoying - even if maybe he was.

 

The nurse's brows furrowed at what the man said next. "Doctor Menwood? Why would you think that?" He asked in confusion as he stared at Jadon. Eugine seemed perfectly fine to him... He wasn't really how one would expect a doctor to be, but he was still great. "Doctor Menwood is one of the best out there... I think he would seek help if that was necessary. I did hear his methods are sometimes different from others', but... It's probably nothing you should worry about." He added with a warm smile as he watched the white-haired guy.

[Atemluver]

Jadon felt relieved wen the nurse gave him an option whether or not he wanted to use the wheelchair. Most nurses would just forcefully put him in one and that would be that. "...I can walk with assistance...I don't want to be in a wheelchair.." Jadon looked down as he spoke, hoping the nurse won't put him in a wheelchair. He was so deep in thought that he didn't realize that the nurse was rambling, and it didn't really bother him if the nurse was. He'd rather have people be honest and say their feelings rather than lie and cover them up. "...It's fine..It doesn't bother me." Again he avoided his gaze when he spoke. He wasn't sure why he did that, he just didn't like staring at people when he spoke.

 

Jadon was surprised that even a health care professional couldn't notice that something was wrong with Doctor Menwood. He himself had just met the man, yet he knew something was defiantly not right with him. "Oh..you're right..it must have just been the medication, I've been a little dizzy lately so that must have been why I thought that." He downplayed his sentence with a slight laugh. He didn't want to ruin Doctor Menwood's career, so he decided to keep his thoughts to himself, for now.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

The nurse smiled warmly and nodded as he walked closer. "Don't push yourself then, okay?" He asked with a gentle smile as he offered a hand to Jadon to help him out of the bed. The nurse let out a slightly nervous chuckle at what the other said next. "Really? Sorry, it bothers others at times. I mostly try not to ramble too much, but I often end up doing it anyway... Like right now!" He added with a soft laugh as he shook his head. The nurse's name was Asher, and he seemed like the family type. In fact, he had a plain golden ring on his finger - he had a wife and two children at the age of thirty-three.

 

Asher let out another warm smile when Jadon said it must've been the medication that made him think that way. "Don't worry, you'll get used to the medication. And you should really give him a chance!" The nurse said with a warm smile on his face as he looked at the other's face. "With doctor Menwood, you'll heal for sure." He added with a smile, his dark brown eyes warm and soft. "Oh, by the way, my name's Asher. Don't hesitate to ask if you need something else!" He asked with his usual warm expression on.

[Atemluver]

The nurse helped Jadon out of the bed, Jadon couldn't help but grab onto the nurse for some support. His legs felt like led, and his body was so weak. After a few steps his body got used to the feeling of standing upright, and he could walk with greater ease than at first. Jadon still leaned up against the nurse for support, but he felt like he was doing a pretty good job at walking. He glanced down and noticed that the nurse had a golden ring on his hand. Jadon couldn't explain why, but he was overcome with a feeling of melancholy. He knew he would never have a chance to have a family, let alone someone to love. He was always an outcast, so he never got a chance to date anyone when he was healthier than he is right now. Deep down he knew that he was going to die alone, but a part of him didn't want to acknowledge it.

 

The nurse was extremely optimistic about Doctor Menwood, and about himself. Granted the doctor was nice, and he was probably a very good doctor, but still the doctor could not save him. He didn't mean to be a pessimist, but all of the other doctors told him his disease was too strong to cure. Jadon bite his lip slightly, he didn't want to be thinking about this, not now. Luckily the nurse and his ramblings interrupted his thoughts. The nurses name was Asher, seems like a strange name but it's not like the nurse could control what his parents named him. To tell the truth Jadon could never understand how nurses and doctors could be happy all the time. They are surrounded by death and suffering, what could they possibly have to smile about?

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Asher made sure to keep Jadon steady, carefully wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him up. "All good?" He asked softly before noticing that the other was looking at his ring. He smiled as he held up his hand, looking at the ring for a while with a soft smile on his face. "Do you have anyone you like?" The nurse asked with a warm expression as they began walking towards the bathroom - slowly, but steadily. "You know, I met my current wife when I was working here. She's a wonderful woman... We have two kids, too! Each day I just can't wait to go back and see them..." The nurse talked with a dreamy smile on his face as the image of his family appeared in his head.

 

"Hey, what's your name?" Asher suddenly asked, his eyes curious as they reached the bathroom. He opened the door for the patient and let out a smile as they went in. Unlike some other hospitals, this one had a decent bathroom. The bathtub was clean and white, there was a toilet seat and a sink, as well as a lot of cabinets around. "Go on, take of your clothes and get in. Do you need help washing yourself?" Asher didn't lose his warm expression for a second. He noticed that for some it helped to see a positive nurse around, so he tried his best to be that way.

[Atemluver]

Jadon felt the arm of the nurse around his waist, helping to steady him. It wasn't a far walk, but it was a little challenging for Jadon considering his lack of mobility. "I'm fine.." He answered to the nurses question. He really didn't want to be in a wheelchair so he was a little worried that the nurse didn't see him as fit enough to walk. When the nurse asked about if he had someone he liked, Jadon couldn't help but feel more depressed. "No....I've never dated anyone before.." He looked away from the nurse, wanting to end this conversation. He just didn't want to be reminded about how lonely he is.

 

Even though the bathroom was only a few doors down, it felt liked it took them forever to get there. It would have been faster by wheelchair, but Jadon wasn't really in too much of a hurry anyway. "I can wash myself..." Jadon stared at the tub and the blue water that filled it. The water always made him feel better, and sometimes he wished he could just sit in a tub all day. He sat down on one of the chairs by the tub and took his pajamas off. He slowly got into the tub, careful not to slip in the process. The feeling of the warm water felt nice against his skin. At home he always loved taking baths, he used to put some bath salts in the water and it would always smell so nice. Even though he can't do that here, at least he can take a bath.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Asher shut up about dating and all when he heard the other's answer to his question. He should definitely apologize. "Sorry for bringing it up." He muttered out quietly. If he remembered correctly, this guy had leukemia... "Hey, how long have you been here anyway?" The nurse asked with an apologetic expression on his face as he began filling the bath with warm water. He didn't want to make Jadon feel pressured or anything - that wouldn't be good for sure. His job was to make sure the patients in this hospital had good living conditions and were satisfied... He had to at least do this much.

 

While watching Jadon get into the bath, Asher nodded with a smile when the other said he could wash himself. "Alright, take your time then." He said with a smile as he walked to sit down on the small chair in the bathroom. He took out his phone so he wouldn't be staring at Jadon all the time, but he wanted to stay, just in case. He'd had a patient have a heart attack when he was in the bath... Like hell he'd leave anyone alone now.

[Atemluver]

Jadon was relieved when the nurse decided to drop the subject of dating. It wasn't that Jadon didn't want to date someone, it's just that someone doesn't want to date him. He ran his fingers through the warm water, staring at his disruptive reflection. "A year.." Jadon spoke softly, not too much emotion in his voice, more so he was preoccupied with the water to care about anything else. He wondered what it would feel like to swim in one of those large swimming pools, would it feel like a bath? It must be nice to just lay at the bottom of the pool staring up at the surface of the water.

 

The nurse told him that he could take his time, and he intended to do just that. It was his first bath in a week and he was going to savior every second of it. He took a sponge and the bar of soap and began washing himself. The sponge felt nice against his skin and the soap had a nice scent. Granted it was hospital soap, but it was better than nothing. After he finished washing his body he took some shampoo and began massaging the substance into his short white hair. When he finished he rinsed his hair and put in some conditioner before laying back in the tub. By now the water wasn't as clear as it was earlier, but it wasn't disgusting either. At least it was still warm, so Jadon could stay in the tub longer.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

A quiet sigh left Asher's mouth when he heard the answer. A year... He hadn't noticed him having any friends, and he'd worked here all the time Jadon was here. In fact... He barely saw him getting out of his room ever. He'd had to bring him food sometimes, and he mostly stayed quiet, just small talk sometimes. "Um... Sorry if this is personal, but did you find any friends in here through that time?" Asher asked carefully before turning his attention back to the phone in case Jadon didn't want to asnwer. He didn't want to make it seem like a huge deal...

 

The dark-skinned male sometimes shot a glance at Jadon to make sure everything was still fine. When he realized that the guy was done, the nurse stood up and smiled. "Wait a little bit, I'll get you a towel." The man said and walked over to one of the cabinets. He took out a big white towel, then returned to the tub. "Can you stand up by yourself?" He asked, already holding out a hand to help Jadon get out of the bath. If he slipped and fell, that would be bad for sure... For both of them, probably.

[Atemluver]

While he was in the midst of washing his body he heard the nurse ask him if he had friends. What exactly were friends, people who said hi to you every morning? People who took you to see movies with them? Or is that a lover? The whole concept of friends mystified Jadon, which may have lead to the fact that he had none of these so called 'friends'. "No, no one comes to visit me except the nurses and the doctors. Although sometimes those volunteer kids come and talk to me for a while. Are they 'friends'?" Part of him wondered why the nurse asked, or why he would even care. He wasn't one of his kids, he was just another patient at the hospital. But then again it was probably just the nurses personality.

 

Jadon frowned slightly when the nurse told him that he would get him a towel. He didn't want to get out just yet, but there wasn't much that he could do to protest. He liked the water, he also liked the sky as well. He thought it would be so cool to float on top of the water in one of those outdoor pools and stare at the sky, it must feel nice. Soon enough, the nurse came back over to him and helped him out of the tub. Jadon was a little wobbly but other than that he did it without too much struggle. What a shame to leave the water so early though...

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Asher shook his head at the question he received. "No, friends are someone you'd trust completely." He answered honestly and let out a smile. "The kids who come as volunteers may want to become your friend, but... If they don't come back on their own, they're not honest." The nurse said quietly, a smile on his face. "Do you think we could become friends?" The dark-skinned male asked with a gentle, warm smile on his face as he observed Jadon, as if trying to see if there was anything wrong. Usually patients had at least their family coming to visit, but not this guy. He didn't see anyone coming. Ever.

 

The man smiled as he gently helped the other dry off. A soft sigh left his mouth as he passed him his clothing. "Here you go..." He muttered out softly and smiled again. His worried brown eyes trailed over Jadon's body as if to make sure he looked healthy. "I heard your medication changed. They warned you about how it might make you lose your hair, right?" The nurse questioned with a somewhat motherly expression on his face. Asher was a very caring person in general. He couldn't walk past a homeless man without giving him some money, nor could he just ignore a stray either. He just had a too big of a heart to do that.

[Atemluver]

Friends are people who you trust completely? So if that is the definition of 'friends' then that would make Doctor Menwood his 'friend' right? "So..then Doctor Menwood is my friend? I trust him...so he's my friend? How do you become friends? Do you need to sign a paper saying that you're friends or something?" Jadon looked down away from the nurse, he was confused about the whole 'friend' business. But more importantly he was more worried about the doctor. He definitely had something wrong with him, and maybe he could help him. Isn't that something a 'friend' would do?

 

The dark skinned nurse gave Jadon a new pair of pajamas and he took them from the man. He slipped the pants on and then began buttoning the shirt when the nurse questioned about his medication. Jadon didn't like to think about it too much, all it did was make him feel worse than he already did. He was also a little scared to loose his hair, he liked his white hair and he didn't want it to fall out. Jadon bite his lip slightly, not wanting to think about the matter any further. "Yeah I know...it's fine...I don't feel good..can I go back to my room now?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Asher blinked a few times and shook his head. "No, I don't quite think so. By complete trust I meant, um... Like, you wouldn't hesitate to tell him your secrets and wishes, but he should do the same to you too. I really hope you two can become friends... But, I want to be your friend too." The nurse said softly as he smiled. "You can't become someone's true friend in a day, y'know." The man added with a warm expression as he watched Jadon. "And what the heck are you talking about papers? That's just stupid." He commented with a light grin, showing that he wasn't being all that serious. Of course there weren't papers...

 

Asher's expression turned into a slightly worried one when he heard Jadon. He nodded immediately and, after pulling out the plug in the bath, wrapped an arm around the other's waist to go back to his room. "Of course, do you need something else?" He asked softly as they walked towards the room. The nurse sighed softly when they reached their destination - he helped his patient get into bed comfortably and smiled. "Try to get some rest for now. If you need me again, or the doctor, you just have to call." He said while motioning to the button near the other's bed.

[Atemluver]

To Jadons dismay it was already time for him to head back to his room. His room was just so boring, bleak white hospital walls and the constant beeping of the machines, he hated that room. Doctor Menwood did offer to take him away from his room, but the thought of being in a wheelchair was just too much for Jadon. He was already helpless enough, he didn't need to be put into a wheelchair to complete the feeling. He let out a soft sigh as the nurse put him back into bed, it's already dark out, it's probably time for him to try and sleep. "Thank you.." he said quietly to the nurse who laid him in bed. The nurse looked like a nice guy, he shouldn't bother him too much...

 

Now back in his bed Jadon couldn't help but think about Doctor Menwood. Where was he now? Did he really have an eating disorder or did he read his symptoms wrong? When he was well enough to attend college, Jadon had taken a few classes on psychology so he knew a good deal of information. He felt pretty sound about his diagnosis, but he was only a student after all..

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Asher smiled softly when the other thanked him and only shook his head quietly. "It's just my job... And besides, this really was nothing." He commented with a warm smile. Seeing that the other was a bit sleepy - or at least looked like he was - the nurse left the room quietly. His thoughts stayed on the guy even when he left the room, however. He couldn't help but worry about his patients more than he was "supposed to". He knew some nurses just did their jobs and were even a bit... Cold. Asher didn't want to be just the person who came, did their job and left.

 

Eugine, in the meanwhile, was busying himself with other patients. Before leaving the hospital completely, however, he decided to pay Jadon another visit. With a small knock to the door, the doctor walked in, his usual soft smile on his face. "How are you feeling?" The man asked quietly as he walked closer. Remembering how he ran off, he just hoped that Jadon wouldn't mention it again. That wouldn't be too pleasant for either of them...

[Atemluver]

Jadon heard the soft knock on his door, and before he knew it Doctor Eugine was in his room again. The doctor appeared to be calm and composed, but Jadon could sense that the doctor was on pins and needles. Even though Jadon never really had too much interaction with others, he was always good at sensing other peoples feelings. "I don't feel too good..." He looked up at the doctor, his pink eyes studying over Eugines expressions.

 

He wondered if maybe he could test out his hypothesis about Doctor Eugine. "Doctor.... you told me that I could ask you for things right?" The doctor did invite him to ask if there was anything he wanted, so he shouldn't be in the wrong for what he was about to ask next. "I was wondering if Doctor Eugine could eat dinner with me? I miss eating dinners with my family....It's always so lonely in the hospital." Jadons eyes were wide and watery as he asked the blond doctor to eat with him. Part of that sentence was a lie, his family never ate with him so he had nothing to miss, but he did want to eat with someone.. And if his hypothesis is correct then the doctor should either reject his request, or be reluctant to accept.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Eugine's expression turned into a slightly worried one at the response he got from his patient. "Not good? Could you explain it further?" He asked softly while walking closer to sit down on the chair like he usually did. Truthfully, it was because he sometimes felt dizzy after standing for too long. All because he vomitted his food out... Even after all these years he was way too self-conscious about his body and appearance in general. He always thought of himself as fat.

 

The blond smiled and noded lightly at the first question, just trying to distract himself a bit from the dark thoughts. "Yes, you can ask me for anything." He said with a smile. It faded out for a moment to give way for a surprised expression at the odd request. Soon enough, however, it was back - as soft and warm as usually. "Of course, what would you like to eat then?" He asked with a smile. Eugine didn't have a big problem with eating... He usually ate a bit less so the urge to puke was less, but sometimes it failed anyway. Besides, if he ate less, he wouldn't get fat, right?

[Atemluver]

Jadons eyes studied Eugine as the doctor made his way to the chair. It was very odd for a doctor to sit down during a visit, to be honest the doctor looked a little ill himself. "I'm not too good at explaining it but my head hurts and I just feel a little dizzy.." His eyes studying the doctor as he spoke. Upon closer inspection the doctor really was quite skinny, not quite as skinny as himself but only because the chemo made him loose his appetite.

 

After the doctors shocked expression from his patients request, Jadon knew that he definitely was onto something. But for some reason the doctor didn't decline his request, instead the blond accepted it. Jadon wasn't really too hungry, but in order for his plan to work he had to at least eat something. "I want to eat what Doctor Eugine recommends." If the doctor was turning down his request then that shouldn't make him anorexic, maybe, the doctor was bulimic?

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

A soft sigh left Eugine's mouth at the bried explanation he got. "It doesn't sound too serious... Perhaps you should try to sleep it off for now." He said with a warm smile. He began feeling a bit self-conscious when Jadon continued staring at him, but brushed it off with a soft laugh. "Is there something on my face?" He asked jokingly as he smiled and leaned back against the chair. Not only was he skinny,but he was also very pale.

 

When Jadon answered his question, the doctor stood up with a smile on his face again. "Well, I think something simple then... Rice, perhaps?" He offered softly as he stood up. With one hand he was lightly holding onto the chair to make sure he would keep himself up. Falling down was the last thing he needed... And in front of Jadon it would be even worse.

[Atemluver]

Jadon noticed the doctor starting to become aware of how closely he was watching him. There was no doubt in Jadons mind that the doctor definitely had some sort of psychological trauma. Part of Jadon wanted to know why a perfectly healthy person would ruin their good health like this...If only he was healthy enough to walk on his own. "No..you're fine." The doctor tried to laugh off his nerves but Jadon could see right through what the doctor was trying to hide from everyone.

 

Jadon let out a soft sigh as he watched Doctor Eugine go to get up. He should just say what was on his mind, after all who knows today could be his last. "You don't have to do something you don't want to do doctor. I know you're bulimic." Jadon stared at the doctor with his light pink eyes, studying his reactions further. "I lied about being hungry to test out my hypothesis, and judging from your reactions I am correct am I not?" He tilted his head slightly, even though he knew the answer he decided to ask anyway.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Eugine felt as if the world around him suddenly froze when Jadon spoke. He'd hit straight in the middle. Fear mixed with shame as the doctor looked away and closed his eyes for a moment. "Don't let that fact bother you. I'm working on overcoming it." One thing the blond hated was lying. He opened his eyes slowly to look at Jadon while his lips parted with another sigh. "I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it to any of the staff members." He added quietly as he sat back down.

 

The doctor took off his glasses to wipe them with the hem of his coat, partially to avoid eye contact. "If you request for another doctor, I'll understand." He finally said before looking up at his patient. For a short moment, he looked completely broken... Then it went back to his usual soft expression. "I really hope you don't, however."

[Atemluver]

Jadon watched as the doctors eyes seemed to be filled with fear as he spoke about the doctors condition. It's not that Jadon was disgusted by it, or that he wanted a new doctor, it was more like he wanted to help him. "Doctor I don't mean to be rude but we both know that you're lying. You don't need to try and hide it from me." He watched Eugine sit back into the chair as he spoke. Being a doctor must be tough, and to do that while being so weak must be so difficult.

 

As he listened to the doctor telling about how he would understand if he requested a new doctor he couldn't help but feel...angry. Why would he want a new doctor, just because his doctor is bulimic? It's just wrong. "Doctor, I don't understand why I would request a new doctor just because of this. Granted you are still a good doctor, and it would make no sense for me to change over something small like this. Well I mean..it's still a big deal...It's not good that you're not eating..just you're still capable of your job. Although..I don't understand why you feel the need to become skinny doctor, I think you're beautiful the way you are."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Eugine furrowed his brows at the sudden accusation. He wasn't lying! "I did the oposite of what you're saying, Jadon." The blond said quietly as he looked at his patient. "I do admit I have some problems, but, I repeat, I'm working on overcoming that." He said quietly, his expression completely serious. He wasn't going to lie... He hated lying. Even as a kid, he mostly took the blame immediately - of course, if it was his fault.

 

As the other continued talking, Eugine's warm, brown eyes seemed to begin to sparkle with tears. The last sentence nearly got the to spill, to be honest. For a short moment, the man just sat there, completely quiet, a hand over his mouth before he looked up again. "Please, don't bother yourself with this. I would appreciate it if you just... Didn't mention it again." The blond requested quietly, his voice the slightest bit shaky as he leaned back against his chair. Unconsciously, he pulled down on the sleeves slightly, his long fingers gripping onto them tightly. "Is there anything else you need?" The doctor questioned quietly.

[Atemluver]

Jadon let out a sigh as he listened to Doctor Eugine. He really didn't have enough experience in the psychology field to try and cure someone, but he didn't want to give up just yet. "Doctor...if you were working on overcoming your problems you would not be at work, since it is obvious when a patient pukes you have a mental breakdown."

 

His pink eyes watched as the doctor seemed chocked back with tears, and just when he started to make some headway the doctor rejected it completely. He let out a sigh as he wondered just how he could get through to the doctor. Jadon reached over and took Eugines hand into his own. "Doctor, you can't listen to what others say. It's not their place to decide if you are too fat or too skinny, but you don't have to puke up your food because of it. You're a doctor you know how important nutrition is don't you? You know doctor, my parents hate me. They've told me to my face before that I should just kill myself. But I decided that wasn't what I wanted, and I shouldn't listen to them and neither should you."