I'm Not Gay! (mik3la)

[ChibiMonkey]

Name: Haruki Kuma

Age: 19

Personality: Haru naturally is a laid back easy going sort of person, kind to all. But since his father started beating on him and everything, he's changed a lot. Because he isn't very strong emotionally, and tends to let others do as they please, never the one to make decisions, Haruki was easily influenced by his father and in a way 'brainwashed' by him. Now, he's just twice as insecure with himself and those around him, very nervous and trying to keep himself away from others, acting cold towards most people, or distant.

Bio: Haruki used to have a happy, healthy relationship. The both of them were happily in love and dating. But Haru's father was disgusted to learn of his sons homosexuality. So doing what he thought was best for his son, engraved it into Haru's head how wrong it was to be in a homosexual relationship, and men are to be with women, and only women. Haruki's father went so far to make sure his son didn't have an homosexual thoughts or activities as to beat it into him, physically, that it was not something to do. Thus Haru, truly believing it is wrong after everything his father did to prevent it, ignores his boyfriend, suddenly disappearing from his life, not returning his calls, or anything, only ending it by simply saying guys should not date each other, and with that, left the relationship.

 

---

 

Haruki woke up that morning, feeling sore as usual. He sighed heavily, groaning slightly as he ran a hand over his face and through his hair. He rolled over onto his side with a wince, cautiously sitting up, as it felt like any little bit he moved he might break. He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing to his phone. For a split second he thought of someone in particular again. Him. He quickly shook his head, knowing he could spare a moments thought to him - not like that. It was wrong.

 

Before he could think any more about it, he stood and headed to the shower, hoping the hot water would help relax his muscles and drown out the soreness that coated throughout his body. He still hadn't told him anything. He hardly gave an explanation to his ex-boyfriend. Other than that 'it was wrong'. And he did it over the phone too...he knew it was wrong. But it was wrong to be with a male too. He'd been wrong all the time. Thats what he'd started to believe.

 

Stepping into the bathroom, he stripped of his clothes, letting them fall to the floor, unveiling his bruised and battered body as he stepped into the shower under the steaming hot water. He let out a heavy sigh of relief as the water washed over him and numbed him, relaxing in a way. He washed himself up and cleaned his hair as he just staying under the water for a while, enjoying the moment, and hoping he could prolong facing the real world again.

[mik3la]

Name: Riku Matsuo

Age: 19

Personality: Riku is calm teenage boy,not so teenage but he is still behaving like a kid sometimes but he can be serious as well and it is needed. Not many knows, that he has also a soft part and that he can be kind and charming. He is a cool type, always surrounded by people and being a little popular, more than he would want but he can't complain because of that. Some people might think he is a spoil little brat but in fact he is just a normal guy that want to get along with everybody. Riku is a strong man, sometimes getting into fights at school or outside, but he always win. One think he finds it hard to bare. The fact that his sexual orientation is not like everybody else, but that's not the problem. The problem is that it is hard to find a person who can accept that and accept himself as he is.

Bio: But he did find a person like that. Haruki. A little, gentle boy who manage to capture his attention by not being so popular and being just a simple boy. He liked him a lot and tried to confess to him and tried to be together and they were. It was such a great time that they spend together but all the good thinks don't last long. After some time Haruki broke up with him letting him alone with no explanation, just the converted idea that it is wrong what they are doing and they shouldn't be together anymore. Riku tried to talk to him but Haru was avoiding him. Tried to call him but he wasn't responding. After some time he stopped, but he never stopped caring for him. Damn, he loved him. But when the other doesn't, it's hard to keep it going on.

 

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Riku woke a little bit tired that morning, scratching his eyes and turning from one side of the bed. The light of the sun was entering in his room and was directed into his eyes. He mumbled some words and got up in the end, going in the bathroom to take shower. He needed. In the past days, all that he did was to get out every night with his friends and drink, coming home more sober than he ever was. It was wrong, and he knew that, but after Haru broke up with him it was useless to be a perfect kid at school.

 

Getting out of the shower he started to dress up for school. When his phone rang his heart stopped for a minute, thinking that it was Haru, but, unfortunately it wasn't him. Sighing he answered the phone and tried to be as normal as he could be. His friends were to get together in the school yard. Once he finished the phone, he had a stupid idea of calling him again but he stopped in time.

 

The road to school was a fast one. Sitting next to his friends laughing and making fun of the not so strong people like, throwing theyr books on the flow, trip them with theyr legs and all sort of other things. That was his fun times. It was wrong but it was keeping him busy and not thinking of Haru.

[ChibiMonkey]

Haruki sighed to himself as he finished his shower, getting out from under the haut rain of the faucet and drying himself off. He stepped back into his room, quickly changing into some clothes, since he could hardly stand looking at himself naked in the mirror anymore with all the bruises that covered his body. He sighed, slipping on the long sleeve shirt and jeans. Thats all he ever wore anymore, just to cover himself up wether it was hot outside or not. He slipped his glasses on before collecting his school bag, gently swinging it over his shoulder before he made his way outside.

 

He grabbed his bike, hopping onto it as he drove towards the school. He didn't live terribly far from it, only about a fifteen minute bike ride. Arriving to the campus, he stopped his bike outside the main enterence, lining it into the bike rack with a bunch of other bikes and locking it up there. Running a hand through his strawberry blond hair, he glanced around the schoolyard before him, a bunch of students bustling about, doing last minute things with their friends before classes.

 

Haruki didn't really have many friends. He'd never been very much of a popular one. He had always been a bit shy generally, though when he was with Riku he was more outgoing and friendly. But now since breaking up with him, he was twice as shy as before any of that. Speaking of, his heart skipped a bit when his eyes fell on said male, surrounded by a bunch of his other friends. He gulped, quickly looking away before catching his eyes and headed towards the entrance of the school.

[mik3la]

Riku tried to have fun doing all thous mean things to others, even if he wasn't like that, but he had to pretend. He always pretended around the rest of his friends and colleagues but not around Haru. With him, he could be himself. Wait. Why was he thinking of Haru all of a sudden? He shock his head to lose the thoughts and to focus on the subject that the rest were having. The freshmen party was coming and all were discussing on how they can crash it.

 

All from a sudden, like he was having a revelation, Riku has turned his eyes to the school entrance and saw him. Haru. It was like a small click in his chest and his heart started beating faster. He didn't saw him for days because he was avoiding him. Even at school he didn't got the chance to talk to him. But this time he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer or having him run away again from him. He needed a damn good explanation on what the hell had happened. He knew only a part of the story. Riku knew that his father had found out about them and was against it but didn't know the rest of it.

 

Seeing that Haru was avoiding his eyes, he sighed and excused himself from the group, heading towards him. Without any warning he snatched Haru's hand and started to walk faster inside the school, heading to the restroom. They needed to talk, and he didn't cared if that was meaning to sneak out from classes for a while. Checking the room to see if they are alone, he blocked the door and turned to face him.

 

"Now. Would you tell me why the hell are you avoiding me like I have some kind of disease?" he started talking looking the boy strait into the eyes, making a step towards him, closing the space between them a little.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki headed towards the entrance, trying to make a quick escape into the building before Riku saw him. He really didn't want to face the other - exactly the reason why he'd been avoiding him the past few days, since he had broken up with him. He started to relax a bit the closer he got to the entrance, and he was almost there before his hand was snatched and he was being dragged away.

 

He gasped a bit, blinking as he looked up to see who it was, before his eyes widened, falling on the back of the head of a familiar brunette. He gulped slightly, trying to pull his hand away, but the other was stronger than him - he'd always been a lot stronger than him. Hiro wasn't much of a physical type of person. Hence why he let his father beat him around and push him around so easily. Hiro used to be one of the kids always bullied by the populars, until he'd met Riku and gotten together with him.

 

Biting his lip, he quickly shook all thoughts of the other away and out of his head. Though, that didn't help, since he was still right here next to the other. He stumbled into the bathroom a bit as the other dragged him inside, and blocked his exit out. He gulped a bit nervously, avoiding the others gaze as he looked to the side, unable to meet his gaze "B-because...." he started out, coughing slightly to clear his nervous voice "I don't like you anymore, Riku. You got the text, right? I...I don't want to be with you anymore. It was all a mistake. I could never like someone like you - a guy" he said, the lines almost sounding rehearsed as his father had made him repeat such things to himself countless times while he would hit him.

[mik3la]

"B-because...."

"I don't like you anymore, Riku. You got the text, right? I...I don't want to be with you anymore. It was all a mistake. I could never like someone like you - a guy"

 

Hearing thous words that were coming out of Haru's mouth were like sharp knifes that pierced his heart. It was painful, but a part of him didn't believed all that. Something was wrong. Haru wasn't like this. He used to be different, but all of a sudden he broke up with him, he changed his attitude towards him.

 

"I don't believe you" he said keeping his gaze on the boy's yes making another step towards him forcing him to step back. He was really tall and had an attitude of demanding. He couldn't accept the rejection from him. He needed an explanation. And a good one. He remembered how he was when they were together. He was happy. He was different. He liked it, but now, thinking it was wrong.No. This wasn't him thinking this way. Maybe in the eyes of people was wrong, but not for them.

"Why? Why all of a sudden? What happened? Damn it Haru talk to me please. Stop avoiding me like I'm some kind of disease cause I'm not. I'm a human being like you, like everybody else" he started to speak, stopping in front of him. He grabbed lightly Haru's arm.

[ChibiMonkey]

Haruki gulped nervously, looking anywhere but at the others face and most especially in his eyes. He bit his lip, hands fielding nervously as he looked at the ground. He knew the other had a tendency to be stubborn, and probably wouldn't let him slip out of this just so easily. He jumped a bit when the other said he didn't believe him. He knew the other would say something like that. Looking away nervously, he simply didn't say anything, afraid his voice would give way.

 

He bit his lip, chewing on it slightly as he took another step back away from the other "W-Well it's true. Just leave me alone" he huffed as he stepped back again but the other continued to follow after him, and soon enough, he had back up against the wall. "Stop saying it like that....it's not all of a sudden. I was just stupid before. I never really liked you, Riku" he huffed as he turned his head to finally somewhat look at the other "Don't you understand? It's wrong for us to be together. We're both just confused. We're both guys, there's no way I could ever like you" he huffed. "I'm avoiding you because of this reason. You're so disgusting....the whole idea is disgusting. Leave me alone" he said, flinching when the other grabbed his arm and he tried pulling away from the other.

[mik3la]

"How can you say that you don't like me after all that we've been through?" he continued to talk, shacking his head in disaproval. He couldnt believe that. Not him. Just when he though he found a good mate this happened. It wasnt fare. But nothing in life is fare. Wnating to say something more but the coment of the boy that he was diagusting made him stop. How much more could he take? Not much. He punched the wall next to the others head trying to get all the anger out.

 

"Discusting ... discusting you say .... this is nice" he said ironically making a few steps back. "So what was i for you? A fool? A mistake?" he started to ask the boy, trying to hide the fact that he was deeply hurt. How could he think that way? It was very confusing. This person before him was nothing like the boy that he liked. The Haru that he liked and was together was really gone, letting in his place an empty person on the inside.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki wasn't sure what to say. Deep down, in his heart he knew he still loved Riku. But his mind refused to accept it any longer. His mind had taken over on survival instincts, learning it was better and safer to just listen to his father, to not accept this part of him that made him who he was. He tried to ignore the others words, knowing that the other was trying to make sense of all this. Hiro knew it didn't make sense, for him to suddenly be acting the way he was. But it was all he could do anymore. Hiroki hadn't never been much of a strong person, and let his father push him around to the point of controlling him and what he does with his life.

 

When the other suddenly punched the wall beside him, so close to his head, he gasped out as he jumped, eyes snapping wide and fearful. Instinctively his mind went into a shell and protective mode, turning completely submissive - unlike how he was before. But because of his father, he couldn't do anything to stand up for himself anymore. He'd been completely broken down by the man that should be his father, protecting and loving him.

 

So, when the other had aggressively slammed his fist into the wall so close beside Haru, the small boy flinching, instantly ducking down away from the other, and covering his head "S-stop! I'm sorry! P-Please - " he stammered our fearfully, automatically thinking in a flashback and that he was back with his father, fearing the male was actually his father who was once again getting mad at him for his sexual inclinations "I-I won't date any more guys. P-please just stop!" he whimpered, shaking slightly as he held his head protectively fearing he would be hit.

[mik3la]

Seeing Haru acting like that was shocking for him. Was he afraid of him? He leaned down wanted to touch him but what he said further make him understand a litle. Was he bitten by someone? Why do such a thing to a person. And only because he dated a guy. Because he dated him. He was the cause.

 

"Haru .... calm down.... I wont ...hurt you... please. Talk with me. What happened. Who did this to you?" he asked touching the boy softly on the shoulder trying to calm bim down. The situation was getting more and more confused.

[ChibiMonkey]

Haruki shook slightly in fear as he cowered away from the other, eyes shut tight as he covered his head. The only thing going through his head right now was the past memories of his father yelling at him, abusing him and ordering him around and what was right and wrong. And that being gay was most certainly wrong. He bit his lip as she shook in fear, afraid if he said anything more he'd be hit again or something. The only thing he could say was 'I'm sorry', and he kept repeating that, over and over.

 

Hearing the other speak out to him he didn't know what to do. He had ended up sliding onto the floor, sitting there against the wall in the bathroom as he held his head. He flinched when the other touched him, his body tensing up in clear fear as he just shook his head. He couldn't find his voice, couldn't say anything.

[mik3la]

Rikus chest was hurting because of him suffering like that. Kneeling near him he directly and without warning he hugged him hard wanting to calm him down.

 

"Haruki ... please ... calm down... its me ... Riku" he said in a low voice, more like a whispere, comforting him. The person who dis this was gona die.

[ChibiMonkey]

Haruki sat there, shaking a bit as he clutching his head. He flinched whenever the other touched him, before he finally, slowly started to open his eyes. He glanced up, his eyes falling on Riku's. He just stared at him, a bit surprised at first, before quickly snapping out of it and pulling away from the other, standing up "F-Forget all that. I just thought you were going to hit me" he huffed as he distanced himself from the other again "Just leave me alone" he said, anxiously glancing to the door, biting his lip in nerves. He couldn't believe he had just let the other see that display of him.

[mik3la]

"F-Forget all that. I just thought you were going to hit me"

 

Riiku was speechless. Why would he thing that? What was happening with him? What did happened that make him this way. It was to much. He had to find out, and if Haruki wasn't going to tell him, he would find out by himself.

"Just leave me alone"

 

"Just one second. Couldn't we be at least .... friends?" he said stepping aside, leaving him space to head to the door.

[ChibiMonkey]

Haruki bit his lip slightly, going to head to the door but then the other spoke more. He gulped nervously, before quickly shaking his head "n-no! You'll just try and make me gay again" he said as he stepped away from him again "I don't need to be around your disgusting fantasies" he huffed before quickly making his way out of the bathroom before he got any more anxious. He was so confused and scared right now, just emotionally, he didn't know what to do. He quickly left the bathroom, heading down the halls and to his next class, hoping maybe it would distract him enough from thinking about Riku.

[mik3la]

Riku was hurt and hated to feel this way. Even if he wanted to know what the hell happened with him, now he wasnt sure anymore. He turned to the sinck and watered his face , then went to his class trying to focus but with no success.

 

The lunch break came quickly and Riku went to the cafeteria, making a phone call to try and get some informations. He knew it would be hard but still. He needed some answereds. Sitting on a table he started to eat slowly, not having a much apetite anymore.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki wasn't able to focus the entire rest of the day. He was spacing out a lot, and practically had just become completely emotionless from the whole ordeal. He sighed heavily, turning his eyes away from the window and back to the board, though he really couldn't focus on what the teacher was lecturing about. Come lunchtime, Hiroki didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't even hungry, so settled for going outside to get some fresh air. He sighed a bit, laying on a bench outside with arms behind his head. Little did he know some of the other popular kids, friends of Riku's, were heading towards him.

 

"Hey brat!" one called walking up, two others beside him. A redhead glared at Hiroki, who sat up to open his eyes to see who called him. He frowned a bit, recognizing the kids as some of Riku's friends. Hiro didn't even open his mouth to say anything before the redhead spoke again "Whats wrong with you? Think you're too good for Riku or something, huh?" he glared. Hiroki recognized this atmosphere. He stood up, knowing this wasn't going to end well as he took a step back "No...thats not it-" he started but winced as another of the group grabbed him to keep him from running.

[mik3la]

Riku finished his lunch hardly and now he was wondering around the halls thing about what happened earlier in the bathroom with Hiroki, trying to understand him, but as much as he tried to he couldn't. It was to strange everything. While he was turning a corner on the first floor he gazed outside the school yard and saw him. Stopping, he approached the window looking better what was happening down there and he frowned when he saw his friends harassing Hiroki. 'What the hell are they doing?'he was saying into his mind widening his eyes when he saw how they were all around the little boy, trying to intimidate him. He remembered how he behaved a little time ago and he felt his heart twitching. Once one of the group grabbed the boy, forcing him to face him, he understood what they were doing so he started to get there before it was turning in something else. A fight.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki blinked a bit and tried to pull away from the other, glaring at the male holding him "Let me go, I have nothing to do with Riku anymore" he huffed in irritation as he tried to pull away, but was simply punched in the stomach to keep from squirming. He gasped out, wincing as he coughed, falling to his knees. Even though it was just one punch, Hiroki was already bruised there and beaten, so it hurt twice as much. He glared up at the redhead who punched him. "Because of you, Riku's all depressed lately. Who are you to break up with him?" the male glared, crossing his arms before punching the other again, causing Hiro to grit his teeth and shut his eyes tight in pain.

[mik3la]

When Riku was outside he saw that his friend punched the boy and felt like he was getting it. Why the hell were they getting involved in this story? It was all about him and Haruki. Before the redheaded could hit again he reach and grabbed his hand. pulling him away, getting between his friends and Haru.

 

"Can you tell me why the hell are you interfering in my business?" he raised his voice, scrolling the redheaded with his look.

 

"I've broke up with Haru, not him with me, satisfied? So he has nothing to do with it" he added clenching his hands into fists, feeling angry as hell.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki was clenching his teeth through the pain. If it wasn't for one of the guys holding him, he probably would have completely fallen to the ground. It would have made him look incredibly weak, with just one or two punches, but it wasn't just the punches causing him pain now. He opened his eyes, flinching slightly as he saw the male raising his fist again. He shut his eyes tight, preparing himself for another impact, but it never came, and instead, he heard Riku's familiar voice. His eyes snapped open, staring at Riku's back in front of him as he was protecting him. Riku's friend though, the redhead Kenta frowned with a glare "What? But you've been all moping around and depressed ever since the break up. We thought for sure it was the brats fault" he huffed as he pulled his arm away from Riku's grip, crossing his arms "Well, if you broke up with him, and he has nothing to do with you anymore, you really won't mind us beating on him and teaching him a little lesson, huh?" he said and smirked "Or did you stop me because you wanted to join us?"

[mik3la]

Riku narrowed his eyes at his friend and clenched his teeth trying not to start up a fight with his friend. It was all his fault that Hiroki was now in trouble.

 

"No. Nor I or you will beat him. I end up things with him but that doesn't give you or anybody the right to lay a finger on him. Got it?" he said in a low angry voice. "Did I make myself clear enough? Now let him go", he said through his teeth to the oder friend that was behind him and was holding the boy, turning his fire gaze to Kenta.

[ChibiMonkey]

Kenta blinked a bit, eyes widening with how serious he could see Riku was getting. He didn't understand it at all. Why? He huffed, glaring back "Whatever" he scoffed, pulling his wrist away from Riku who was holding it still to keep him from punching Hiroki or anything. He took a step back away from the other "Whatever you want man. He wasn't any fun anyways" he said, disliking his friend sticking up for the brat instead of siding with his friends. The other one who was holding Hiroki quickly let go at the sight of Riku's harsh glare "Y-yeah, okay, we get it. See ya" he said, quickly leaving with the other two.

 

Hiroki stared, a bit wide eyed in surprise at Riku for sticking up for him like that. Even going to say that he had been the one to break up the relationship. He was suddenly let go by the one holding him, and he hadn't time to catch himself before he fell to the ground. He winced, falling on his hands and knees and clutching his throbbing and now incredibly bruised stomach. Hearing the retreating footsteps, Hiro glancing up at Riku, still holding his stomach lightly "Why did you do that?"

[mik3la]

Riku was maintaining his glance at his so called friends while they were leaving. He breath in slowly, trying to calm himself, closing his eyes and breath out, relaxing. Turning to the boy, he knelled down at him, keeping his distance though.

 

"Are you alright? Do you need medical treatment?" he asked looking at the boy with worry eyes trying to see if he was alright, ignoring his question. "My car is near the school, I'll take to to a doctor" he said, biting his lip and taking the boy into his arms, bride style.

[ChibiMonkey]

Hiroki frowned as he looked at the other, trying to understand him and why he did that. He flinched, moving back a bit instinctively when the other had crouched down and knelt before him. Frowning at the others question, he shook his head "No. I'm fine" he said, slowly moving to get up, being careful of his ribs and stomach. He flinched slightly, but ignored it. Though before Hiroki even knew it, he was up in the others arms, protesting as he squirmed. "H-hey! Put me down!" he demanded, squirming in the others grasp "I said I'm fine, I'm not going to any doctor!" he huffed in irritation.