*Private* Just Life RP

[pandamonium]

I turned to look at him, my vision blurring. I felt tears on my face. I touched them. "Huh. Weird." I lifted myself. Sitting up, looking at the anger in his face before it distorted. I can't think. I touched his cheek. "Why are you angry? I should be the one..." My arm fell. Went can't the Ron stop spinning and changing colors. It's becoming nauseating.

[Funny Otaku]

I swatted his hand way. I was pissed buzzed and ready to kill him.

"GET THE FUCK OUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I ANGER! IM SICK OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT! LEAVE YOU ASS AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN." I yelled in his face.

I got up opening the door for him. I wanted to sleep and go to school like normal.

[pandamonium]

I flinched. Heading towards the door. Before I left, I turned to him. "I'm sorry. I never meant to lie to you." I walked out the door. Growing fearful of the darkness, but I needed to leave. I stuck to the lamppost, too fearful to walk into the darkness. I just sat there.

 

I hadn't slept at all. I watched the sun rise from the horizon. The swaying had slowed down. I was starting to remember things that happened last night. I felt my chest tighten and I just wanted to scream and cry. I've pushed another person away. I couldn't be here before he left for school. I stood up and headed towards the public library. I probably should check my email to make sure I've gotten at least one interview.

[Funny Otaku]

I fell asleep soon after he left...I knew I wasn't gonna go to school tomorrow...I was gonna have a hell of a hangover. I called Sasha's house.

"Hey Dorthy can you pick me up...I feel like shit and am gonna end up doing a bad thing to myself..."

"Of course honey you can stay as long as you want you'll sleep in Sasha's room with an air matriss okay honey?"

"Okay...thank you so much dorthy."

"No problem Hope you are family..I'll be there in 10 minutes honey."

I hung Up collecting clothing for the next week or so. I went outside as soon as I got there Dorthy was there. I got in the car and we drove to her house.

"thank you." I said and fell onto the airmartress, falling asleep instantly.

[pandamonium]

I stood outside for several hours until the librarian came. She gave me a look, but ignored it. I walked besides her. Making my way towards the computers. I was still not in my right mind, but I was getting there. Took a while for the computer to boot up. I looked through my emails. I sighed still no potential employers. I sighed as strands of my hair got in my face. I remember Hope saying he looked my hair long. I felt my throat tighten and tears well up. I brought this upon myself. I stood up and headed to the librarian. "Hey, may I borrow the scissors." She was slightly apprehensive, but handed them over. I headed for the bathroom. I snipped my hair until it reached my shoulders. I returned the scissors and left for another day of job hunting.

[Funny Otaku]

I woke up from my nice painless none hangover yet slumber rom Sasha.

"Holy shit HOPE I though you were a rapist for a second!" She screamed and then we both immideatly retreated it as we clutched our heads.

"Ow ow ow..my brain...ow. " She and i whispered.

I sat up and the whole room felt dizzy it was spinning shit shit I need to barf. I ran to the toleit and well barfed and sat there waiting for my stomach to calm down. Dorthy walked in..

"Hey hope I took the day off to care for you two I'm gonna bring you guys some Orange Juices and then let you guys sleep come to me if something happens." I nodded in response.

I sat there throwing up for the next 10 or so minutes, getting up when i was done and headed back to the room when I felt better I would have a talk with Sasha with what happened last night but first juice and sleep. When I got back Sasha was a sleep. I sipped on the glass of juice and finished in a hour or so... Setting it down and crawling back under the covers falling asleep.

[pandamonium]

I went to a grocery store that was hiring. I filled out a resume and talked with the assistant manager. Luckily, nobody had come for the job and they needed someone to do heavy lifting of their produce. I was hired on the spot. After what had happened, I was kinda glad it's starting to change. But what should I do now? I don't start working until tonight. I was kinda anxious of getting my things from Hope. I should go in a few days to collect my things. In the meantime, I'll wait outside until it's time to work. I miss Hope terribly, but after what I did to him, which I wasn't sure about, I can't face him.

[Funny Otaku]

My dream was so nice. Me and Stephen were in a field no one else was there I had flower clowns on each of us it almost looks like what would happen if we had died and gone to heaven it was so nice. I danced around join up and down th hills. He strummed and sang to guitar.

I walked up to him putting my hand though his hair. thing long hair that I loved it was so perfect on him. I leand down and kissed him deeply.

"I love you stephen." I whispered softly in his ear. I loved this it was so perfect.

[pandamonium]

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one. Taking a deep drag. I should get another job to keep myself busy. I have nobody and just thinking of Hope. It hurts. I decided to just walk over to the park I usually hung around. It'd be nice to just relax. I was sober by this point. It felt weird having my hair so short, but my head felt lighter even if my heart felt heavy.

[Funny Otaku]

I woke up a few hours later..Sasha was still fast asleep.My hangover was better not gone but better.

I starched it felt nice to sleep on an actual bed. I got up to get something to eat this was like my second home. Dorthy was there but on the computer so she just waved. I went to the fridge and grabbed an apple, banana- for sasha- and two bottles of propel, which was basically water with electrolightes and stuff.

"Hey Sash." I whispered not wanting to hurt my head either. She shook and groaned soon getting up.

"Here." I handed Her the banana and the water stuff.

"Thanks Hope."

I sat on her bed, laying my head on her legs.

"I love you, you know." Stated to her.

"I know. I love you too." She kissed me on my forehead.

"I broke up with Steph last night."

"No way..why honey."

"He was high a kite on acid when I got back I'm done with his duggie bullshit i need to prepare for school."

She nodded running her hands through my hair.

[pandamonium]

I watched the kids play in the park. It seemed to be after 3. I saw a girl walk her dog and a couple of ladies run. The park was a lot livelier than usual. It was nice. Then I saw a nice couple. The girl was curvy and cute. The guy looked like a pothead. But they looked so happy together. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I wiped them and sniffled. I lit another cigarette. I knew I angered Hope because of my drug use, but I'm a coward. I'd rather feel nothing than feel this pain in my chest. I felt like screaming asst the sky. But that wouldn't solve anything. After a couple hours of just sitting and walking around, I went back to the grocery store. My shift was starting in a couple hours and I was going to be trained.

[Funny Otaku]

"You know your gonna get in right...well both of us are with full rides I have a 4.5 and you have a 4.8 how can harvard not except us.." She calmly stated.

I nodded I just wanted someone..someone to love and hug and hold on too....I missed him...My hangover was gone.

"You know what I'm gonna get Corbin back he treated me well and helped me with school work that fucking guinus."

"Are you sure Hope...you really liked Stephen and it just seems like well I don't know."

"I am sure I'll call him right now! Also keep the airmatress out I don't know if I'm staying the night with him and for sure the next few days of school after tomorrow I'm staying here. she nodded.

[pandamonium]

After training I was given a vest, white button up shirt and slacks. I changed quickly and went to the back to move some of the produce into the front. The people seemed nice. Even the lady who worked as the cashier. She was truly helpful.

 

Around 8, I was given a half hour break for dinner. I just bought a box of rice cakes and ate them at the break room. The cashier lady walked over and sat down. She was sniffling and wiping her eyes. "Hey. You okay?" She turned towards me and nodded. "I'm fine...I just...lost my second job this morning and I'm not sure I'll be able to pay my bills. Let alone my rent." I felt kinda bad. "would you like a rice cake?" I felt really bad for her. I wish I could do something. "Don't you have a roommate or something?" She shook her head. I lived with my boyfriend, but he left me." She was starting to cry again. Shit! What do I do?! "Um...I think I have some cash. I checked my wallet. Only twenty bucks. Fuck. "Sorry. I only have twenty, but you can have it." She shook her head. "It's fine. I'll just look for another part time job."

[Funny Otaku]

I gonna do this! I got dress in jeans and a shirt. I called up Corbin..

"Hey." I asked nevourly into the phone.

"hey hope whats up man." I smiled he was always so calm and happy.

"I was wondering if i don't know we could chill and stay over the night...im single again."

"No your not anymore baby." I heard the excitement in his voice...I was the one who had broken up with him technically I called for a break then Stephen came around and i was so happy...I missed him..no get him out of my mind.

"Where are you honey? We can go to the store and get supplies for dinner and then go back to my place."

"Sasha's and sounds great." We hung up I was excited..

"Bye guys see you later.."

They waved goodbye.

I walked out and waited on the porch for him for 10 minutes. His black truck pulled up..I got in.

"Hey." I said looking down i was feeling shy. Before he replied, he grabbed my shirt pulling me colliding our lips..Our tounges fought for power, soon we had to stop for breath and well to drive.

"Wow..." was all i said and he smiled holding my hand he was happy...i mean i wasn't but i was happy that i was making someone happy...

We got to the store and parked.

[pandamonium]

She took a rice cake and nibbled it. She opened her lunch box and pulled out a sandwich. She offered me half. I nervously took it. "I'm glad I could make a friend." She sniffled and smiled. She seemed to be doing better. We talked for a bit about random nonsense. I'm glad I was able to make a friend. Before she went back to work, she gave me a hug. "Thank you. I needed someone to talk. Whenever you need to talk to someone, I'm available." I was taken by surprise by the hug. I just nodded. I still had eight minutes until my break ended, so I went outside for a smoke. I saw a couple of my coworkers smoking and talking. I kinda just stood there smoking my cigarette. I started thinking of what happened last night and what I did to Hope. I'm a terrible person and I just proved it. I remember he said he loved me, but he cast me aside. Not that I'd blame him. Since it was my fault after all.

 

My break ended and I headed back to the back room. I brought a cart of vegetables and fruits. I started setting them up in their respected places. The loudspeaker was playing some Jimi Hendrix. The king of electric guitar. I nearly squealed like a fangirl. He was an inspiration.

[Funny Otaku]

He ran down the isles with me right behind him. His hand was cold...It was so different from Stephens warmth. He was grabbing things and thinking of what to make...

"I'll be your sexy~cook honey." Corbin whispered in my ear. A shiver want down my back.

Soon we got to the fruit and veg isle, I saw someone who kinda looked like Stephen but had shorter hair....I think corbin noticed it too because I saw the spark of jealously in his eyes. He grabbed my face roughly and deeply kissing me. I put my hands around his neck making it easier for him.

[pandamonium]

I was finishing up stocking produce. I thought I heard Hope. I turned and then I saw him kissing that guy from his job. I felt my chest tighten and my eyes blur. My throat felt like something was stuck in it. I was hurt and I could feel myself getting angry. "Get away from him!" When I realized what I said. Fuck! I should've kept my mouth shut. Hope doesn't even want to be with me anymore. Not after I hurt him. I decided to be like the coward I am and ran away.

[Funny Otaku]

I thought I heard Stephen but I ignored it even though me heart said find him....I wanted to find him so bad but i couldn't.

I kissed him for a long time. It felt nice to be in somones arms..being held tight Once we let go, we found the rest of our stuff for dinner.. We went to the cashier. I held corbin's hand the hole time...I just needed someone.

"Corbin..I love you." I said it with no feeling..I felt like i loved Stephen...But...But he was gonna leave anyway right?

"Love you to honey." He said kissing me on my forehead.

[pandamonium]

I ended up hiding in the bathroom. Super cliche. I felt like my heart was being crushed. I guess he didn't really love me. He must've taken pity on me. I calmed myself and went back to work. Praying they weren't their anymore. I felt myself being emotionally drained.

 

I finished my shift around 4 in the morning. I was exhausted. I realized I hadn't slept in almost two days, but I couldn't sleep just yet. I headed for the library to wait.

 

I felt somebody poke me. I sat up and snorted. "Huh?" My vision was blurred. "It's open." It was the librarian. I stood up and followed behind her. I checked my email. I had an email from the tattoo parlor lady, today. I checked the time. "thank God. I can make it."

[Funny Otaku]

We went back to his house. We layed on the couch for awhile but after a few hours he blind folded me saying he'll call me in the kitchen when he's ready. I sat there waiting for his Call.

"Hope honey I'm ready." I heard him state.

I walked to the kitchen holding on to the wall. Once I got there he lifted me to the counter and i sat on it. I smell soup and other foods that he ha made.

"Can I take this off yet." I asked

As I asked he slowly removed it. As I opened my eye I saw corbin...well not having his clothing on he..he was naked.

"Wow."

"I know."

He leaned forward and began to kiss me rubbing on my dick through my clothing. I moaned and well one thing lead to another...and we ended up having sex but...well durring it I yelled out Stephens name instead of Corbin...

[pandamonium]

I got to the tattoo parlor. She was finishing up some tattoo on a dude, so I just waited for her to finish. Twenty minutes later, she finished with her customer and the guy left. She walked over to me. She was talk and beautiful. Had to crane my neck and look up at her. Her blonde hair was dyed purple on the tips and her arms had tattoo sleeves. She adjusted her glasses. "You must be Stephen.. Can't pronounce your last name. Whatever. You're in luck. We need a receptionist of sorts asap and you seem to know your shit. So welcome aboard." She stuck her hand out and I shook it. "Huh. Nearly didn't recognize you without long hair. Too bad you cut it. It looked good on you. Not many guys can pull it off." She grinned and led me to the counter on the corner. "Okay. You'll stand here: answer the phones, set appointments and depending on what tattoo they want, you set them up with who's better qualified." I nodded, she gave me a squeeze on the shoulder and left. I felt my heart squeeze. Hope said that to me.

[Funny Otaku]

Can you say awkward or what we were sitting at the kitchen table and we both knew I had used him to get over somthing I wasn't over....

"Hope I think you should leave also....Im gonna tell the manger to fire you"

"WAIT! Why you know I need that job!"

"Your underage and lack of sleep is getting to you and me and Jason have been talking about making you quit anyway so just don't come around again...you know my family knows the family that owns the place I'll know if you go on a different shift, just do whats good for you and get a real. Job.."

nonnonon! I was screaming in my head that was how I was gonna play for college....WHY! But all I did was nod. I walked out. I got to the "main street" of town. I took out a cig and lit it.

"You know what maybe this is good...I don't have to keep up my looks and now I can sleep..." I started talking to myself.

"I'll become the manly man I should be!"

I went to the store buying a hole new wardrobe, it was full of leather,black and spikes....next I went to the hair dresser and got the undercut I always wanted and couldn't because of my job, then I asked them to dye it light blue..I loved it..I looked at my self in the mirror and I loved what I looked like. I was wearing black converse, A muscle shirt that said 'shit happens', and a leather coat with metal spikes...I felt great.

[pandamonium]

It was a slow day today. Since appointments had been made earlier. A couple walk ins. The people here are incredible. Iris, the owner, she's incredible. She's kind, funny and so cool. Then there's Cory, he specializes in Japanese style and color. Then there's Sherry. She's great with black and white. "Hmm. You seem to be pretty down in the dumps, did something happen?" I was surprised when Iris walked over to me. I shook my head. "No, I'm probably just tired." I chuckled nervously. I did enjoy my time working there. They got my mind off of my troubles, if even for a minute. Then I had to head towards my second job. The memories of last night were still crystal clear. It hurt so much. But I'm sure he must be happy with that guy. I should move on, too.

[Funny Otaku]

I went to the tattoo parlor..Because I was gonna get lip piercings I went in and they told me the pierce was gone today and I set up an appointment for tomorrow..I was finally able to look how I wanted to look.

"Bye..uh Iris was it."

"Yep see you tomorrow Hope."

I left going back to Sasha's for the night.

"Hey girl." I said into her room.

She through a pillow at me.

"Im changing asshat."

"Okay okay honey." I said and backed out a few minutes later she said I could come in.

I walked in hesitantly.

"How do I look I'm acutely getting the pricing tomorrow." I stated..She knew how I wanted to look. She Jumped on me.

"You look like a total BAMF! YoU LOOK GREAT!" She screamed.

We ate and then went back to sleep ready for school tomorrow.

[pandamonium]

I finished changing into my uniform. I'm glad they gave me a locker. Since in the meantime, I'm pretty much homeless. I saw the cashier lady, again. She seemed to be doing better.

"Hello, Stephen! How was your day?" i smiled. She's so sweet. "I'm doing alright. Got another job today."

She squealed and hugged me tightly. It made my day. I clocked in and headed to the back.

 

Another busy day of lifting and stocking items. I changed my clothes, said my good-bye to Ruth , the cashier lady, and yawned. I haven't slept in so long. I'll hang out in the convenience store, until my shift at the tattoo parlor in a few hours. I had some leftover cash and bought a coffee. It was too sweet for my taste. Unfortunately, that drug dealer saw me and walked over.

"Hey, man. Need anything?" He grinned, his disgusting brown teeth nearly made me gag.

I shook my head. "Unless you have a shower in your jacket, I don't want shit."

He shrugged and walked away. Probably bug some poor idiot like me. I finished my coffee and headed to the tattoo parlor. Might as well wait for Iris.