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Grey curtains of pleasure~18+ (Nyuchanxx and Pigeon)


Nyuchanxx
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When the servants came Ai couldn't help but feel very wrong having others serve him again, there was no reason he deserved to be served so he quickly sent them away as he washed himself in the warm water of the bath sighing as it washed away his regrets and eased the pain of his mind by making his torn flesh sear with pain that overrode that which stabbed at his heart even if it was just for a moment. When he was clean the water was brown with his old blood although the scabs had finally hardened now until he did something else to make them crack and burn. He pulled a fresh shirt over his back wincing at the pain before pulling on some simple cotton trousers. Going back to the room he wondered what he was going to do. He had no chores and could earn no coppers in his current state. Sighing he stood and wondered if there was any grass anywhere. He wandered around the house every step he took making his eyebrows draw together in pain and slowed his progress. He wandered no where in particular until he stumbled across a room full of books. It smelt dusty, as an old library does. He smiled, this was where he belonged. he pulled a random book out and opened it before sitting on the floor, loathed to soil a chair with his presence and read the lines within.

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Huan stayed in the courtyard for quite a long time. He needed to get his thoughts in order, but even sitting in the peaceful area did nothing to help. He finally stood up with a sigh and headed back inside, hoping to at least distract himself with one of his father's books. He still didn't feel ready to face AI, and just hoped that the other man was still bathing or resting in the room. The young noble froze the moment he stepped into the small library, he hasn't even considered that AI might be in this room. "Ah, y-you should be resting" he managed to stammer.

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Ai looked up as he heard someone enter. Standing quickly he snapped the book shut "Sorry. I just saw this place and it made me remember the joy of reading and I just had to come in." He offered a gentle smile knowing that he shouldn't really be in here but never the less not wanting to leave. "I hope you don't mind, I wont move anything from its original position." He promised wondering if the other was going to tell him to leave. He had every right to so he wouldn't be surprised. Not surprised but maybe disappointed.

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  • 1 month later...

Huan paused for a moment, he didn't want to tell the man to leave but he really did think he should rest. "Just don't strain yourself..." He finally said, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I don't want you to make your wounds any worse" the young noble chewed his lip before remembering that it was an unbecoming habit. "The bath didn't hurt too much, did it?" He wasn't sure why he kept talking, every word just made him sound more foolish and sheltered. No doubt making Ai like him less with every passing second.

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AI made himself smile at the allowance. "Thank you he said softly." He looked away and back at the beautiful illuminations of the book. So engroshed was he that it took him a few seconds to realise the other had spoken again "sorry..." He questioned trying to remember the question before he suddenly remembered as if it were a dream. "Ohh right, no it's only pain after all, no less than I deserve, but thanks you for your worry." He said politely and truthfully.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"You don't deserve any pain" Huan blurted out, he immediately covered his mouth with his hand. He couldn't imagine feeling more stupid. He didn't know anything about Ai's life, the man could be a criminal that he had saved just because he was handsome. Huan wanted to ask Ai all kinds of questions, he wanted to actually know the other. But he couldn't shake the feeling that Ai would just laugh at him for being so foolish.

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Ai smiled sadly and shut the book he was reading. "Everyone deserves pain in their lives or they wouldn't know when they did something wrong that causes others pain. But I caused a lot of pain and for that I will get my comupamce, my time on the wall, the beatings, selling myself. None of that comes close to leveling the balance for the pain I caused." His voice was thinking but steady as he spoke, images flashed through his mind that he couldn't shake off. Images of his wife, his daughter, his home. Why had he done it when they had begged him not to. He wanted to go get but he knew he wasn't allowed. AI looked up at the male before him. Huan looked so sweet and innocent of such pains. It almost made him want to spoil him and show him those pains, almost but not quite. Innocence was so pure until it was tainted, and he had tainted enough lives already.

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"I suppose I'm being punished for not helping others then..." Huan breathed. He knew it was petty, but he had never really been close to anyone. He had some friends but mostly just because it would be rude not to socialize with them. There was no one in his life that he was actually close to, or even liked to spend time with. It was such a silly thing to be sad about, he felt his cheeks flush softly. "I-I suppose I'll just leave you to your reading then"

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AI felt bad, he knew he shouldn't have intruded upon this male nice peaceful way of life. The innocent shouldn't be corrupted no matter how much your hurting. He swallowed and quietly said "I'm sorry, you don't have to go." He paused scared of his own words "I'm just...afraid of living again, you don't need to go because of me. Don't let me get you down." He smiled apologetically, he really should have kept his mouth shut,he was too much of a pessimist these days.

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  • 1 month later...

Huan fidgeted with his sleeves, trying not to look at the other man. "No, it isn't anything you did wrong..." he said softly. "It's probably best that I learn not to be so hopelessly optimistic. I thought that somehow helping you would make things better for you, make you happy... But life isn't so simple, is it?"

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