Monster hunt (Private)

[ZX-MetalMonster]

The wast forest was shrouded in silence, peaceful as nature is. There was only the chirping of small birds in the brushwood at the edge of the clearing. This area on which only short green blades of grass and an occasional wild flower grew stretched around a large construction which Lev now inhabited. To him, who had trained his ears to pick up on minute sound and had already spent a week at the location and learned its symphonies, the quiet was baffling. So early in the morning there had always been a periodic whistle in the air and rustling of leaves that he had at first attributed to the wind but later began to identify as the call of little, restless, reptilian beings and harmless fur cowered monsters chasing each other through the trees. The young man didn't think much about the oddity though, his mind was preoccupied with upcoming events and his eyes calmly observed the curves and twists of a narrow road cut into the mountain landscape in the distance.

 

He sat on a rather uncomfortable wooden chair, leaned against the back and with his legs crossed. Beside him on the floor and in arms reach there was a number of weapons, blades in their scabbards, firearms waiting already loaded and a certain silver charm was already placed around his neck and was hidden under his clothing. He was all set for the upcoming hunt, even though he wouldn't be the one going out to track and combat the creatures. His role was only to direct his comrade, point them at the direction of all the action and leave it up to them to resolve everything, however this was not what he planed on doing.

 

With another reminder of how things were suppose to play out, it finally occurred to Lev that he was doing something very wrong and wicked. He had always had the unpleasant habit to imagine worse case scenarios and become frustrated and upset over outcomes that would probably never become reality. Now he was envisioning everything from his scheme back firing and being further humiliated to having to drag out the mutilated body of another hunter from the forest. With how common monsters were in the area there was no telling what could be found deeper in the wilderness where humans hadn't wandered for decades. However, groups of beasts functioning together or a lone one that can kill a trained man were very rare. Lev used this well-known fact to lessen his worries and refocus his attention on setting everything up perfectly. It was too late to turn back and put things to a stop anyway.

 

With a light sigh, the youth got up from his seat, strolled over lazily to the window which cowered most of the wall and pressed his forehead against the glass. His patience was running out quickly as he continued to wait.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas woke to the leader yelling in his face. He mumbled something about being tired. Ever since he graduated the academy when he was 16 the youngest to graduate with only having a year of training. They had said he was a prodigy. He didn't think much of it. He gave his parents the credit. When he killed the 'animals' he did it respectfully and making sure they felt no pain. And very rarely he would try to domesticate it. He had only had one successful domestication. It was a small rat type looking creature with wigs, though it looked like nothing the poison in it's bite could kill a 300 pound man in 3 minutes. But Atlas being the way he is, he trust them, and respects them. So this one took liking to Atlas. Thus Atlas had a 'pet' he named 'Drac' Short for Dracula, becuase of his deadly bite. Drac was always on Atlas's right shoulder, there to help when they fought or to protect. They had a great bond.

Atlas got up as the general was still yelling about the assgiment. Atlas just nodded and said "Yes Sir." The General left saying he had 10 minutes. Atlas got a duffle bag and packed it with all the essentials. Drac squealed and point to Atlas's gun.

"Ya ya I'll need that."

He grabbed it and hid it in his clothing along with around 10 knives. He hopped in the the Jeep they sent to him and went off..

Atlas turned the music all the way up, his dusty blonde hair blowing in the wind. The warm air brushing across his bare arms, he was wearing baggy work out pants , which held all of his weapons, and a tank top. It showed part of his tribal tattoo he got when he turned 18 , It matched his fathers, when he was alive. It took around 3 hours to get there He parked on the road letting Drac climb back on his shoulder and headed towards the door.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

A full, excruciatingly long hour had passed before Lev spotted a vehicle on the road he had been watching with a hawk like gaze. Though he would have maybe recognized the Jeep since he'd been given similar transportation in the past, it was simply too far away for him to make out the brand or any details. He could not say for sure but he made the hopeful assumption that this was what he had been waiting for. After all, barely any cars passed by in such a remote place.

 

Rather than lighten up with the realization that he could soon put things into motion, he frowned at the approaching "help" through the window one more time before turning away and heading back to the selection of weaponry he had prepared. He proceeded to complain and whisper an occasional swear as he strapped on some of the blades and holstered a gun he had already a while ago decided was the best for these conditions. Perhaps his tone and vocabulary suggested he intended to argue with the other hunter the moment he laid eyes on them, but it was just the opposite. Lev hoped he'd be able to act more pleasantly and seem at least marginally civil if he said all of the rude things he could think of beforehand.

 

With all of his gear ready, placed on his body so that it isn't painfully obvious, he stepped outside and leaned on a steel and glass wall of the construction. Another few minutes of waiting were nothing in comparison to the time that had already passed in anticipation of the meeting, but he was just as unenthusiastic about that short interval.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas Observed the area. As much as he was a 'goof' or comedian, this was work now, not just work. This was what his parents wanted. The area was serene Trees everywhere..'Well he was in a forest. The house wasn't big but it wasn't small, it looked like it wasn't suppose to be there, in this beautiful place.

 

When Atlas was younger he would always wonder the forest with his parents, not this deep of course, they would observer the 'animals' and he would walk around and have fun. He remembered when he was just 5 he had already began to connect with the 'animals'. His parents called it 'maternal instinct' of any living being. Any 'animal' with younger of their kind would let Atlas play with the other 'kids' as long as he showed he was not a danger. But if his parents got close the 'animal' would attack protecting it young and surprisingly Atlas.

 

That was the first thing Atlas thought of after his parents, he thought he would just move into the forrest but after thinking it over it was just illogical to do that.

He walked to a young man he guess around his age, it seemed like waiting for him.

"Hey, My Names Atlas and I'm the hunter you asked support for." He smiled. And took Drac off his shoulder and into his hand.

"And this little guy is my partner, Drac."

He stuck out his other hand for the man to stake.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Lev planned to hide his irritation and be as stoic as possible while facing a man sent by the organization. What he didn't expect was that his anger would dissipate as soon as he laid eyed on the hunter. The sigh of someone who is approximately his age and apparently capable of taming a monster caused him to halt and analyze the person more carefully. Most of his comrades, the people he had cooperated with in the past were older than him, usually in their late twenties. It was not unheard of to encounter someone younger, however most such hunters were inexperienced and by no means capable of doing anything else than chase off beasts and rarely defeat them. Lev was an exception only because of how early he had started training.

 

He observed the small creature in the humans hand and finally after the initial surprise he began to feel jealousy. It was not like he ever had any sympathy for the odd animals or would be capable of seeing one as a friend or pet, but it bothered him to find out that someone who should had been on his level or beneath him had domesticated one.

 

Lev only glanced the hand offered in greeting and did not even consider taking it. Instead he restrained himself from frowning and nodded lightly as acknowledgement.

 

-"Lev..." He introduced himself in a slightly cold voice. "Nice to meet you..." He remembered to add out of politeness, though the statement was not sincere.

 

-"The one I called about... I last saw it close to a small lake north. It's a half hour walk from here."

[Funny Otaku]


Atlas disliked the stoic of the younger man. He was sadden a little by it but it also made him anger. He didn't like now the other looked at Drac and it seemed that Drac didn't either. The 'animal' Hissed at the other. Atlas put him on his shoulder.

"Hey Drac calm down." He turned to the other. "Sorry, he dosn't like others usually but he wont do any harm to you." He smiled. "So 30 minutes, we should head out."

"SO did you go to the academy too?"

[ZX-MetalMonster]

The unfriendly hello he received from the small animal only caused Lev to become more hostile. Having the other hunter comfort him and assure him that the beast a hundred times smaller than many he had killed would not hurt him worsened the situation also. Altogether the pair made a bad first impression but Lev hadn't expected any better and he was very sure they disliked him in return.

 

He hoped to travel to the location in silence. Though he would only become nervous and as a result act even worse to his "help" if they grew quiet, he preferred that to being asked questions. However the other man seemed rather curious and set on keeping a conversation going.

 

-"Yes, for a few years." Lev answered as simply as he could. Wasting no time he turned from the other hunter and set out on the route that would take them to the creature they were to chase and kill. He expected the man to follow after him and found it unnecessary to say anything more.

[Funny Otaku]


Atlas nodded at the other mans response. He sensed the others hostility, putting his head phones on and blasted his music, most punk rock or screamo. He also took out his journal, he wasn't the greatest writer but when an idea came to him he would write it down. So as he followed the other he chewed on the pencil and held the journal, every now and then writing a little to add to his story. It was about a young man, younger then the two too walking. Around 15 years, in a land without 'monster' animals, and how he was falling in love for the first time. Atlas was a sap for romance novels. Well, writing them, for some reason he hated reading them though.

He whispered out a line of it to make sure it made sense.

"He sat on the edge of his seat staring at the american football player that had joined his high school...Though the player was a year older than himself since he came from a different country he was held back because of his langue barrier." He shook his head whispering 'no'.

"His face flush as he sat on the edge of his seat."

He nodded please with his work and detail in his story.

"SO....Lev...how old are you?"

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Lev did his best to ignore the other human as they made their way through the forest and he did a good job while the man was only listening to music. Once the other hunter produced a notebook and began to write though, he couldn't help but give him a lightly irritated look. The act would have been interesting and even somewhat likeable if they weren't walking along a mountain road. Lev was sure Atlas was only setting himself up for a painful collision with something or a graceless fall over a rock. However, while he secretly listened to what the other whispered Lev nearly tumbled down himself. He was quick to react and save himself from the potential humiliation but he cursed quietly at his companion blaming the entire thing on his odd, distracting behaviour.

 

Lev grew quiet after this and it seemed he wouldn't reply to the latest question, however after a brief period he spoke up. "I'm eighteen..." He adjusted his pace so that they could walk nearly side by side rather than with one trailing behind the other. "You?"

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas giggled at the other almost falling. He smiled as the other cursed. As they walked beside each other he waited for the other to answer his question.

"oh 18 nice, Im 19. um how long were you at the academy, we probley had a classes together. Though I entered at 15 snd graduated at 16 so im not sure...So lev are you still connected to Hunters, I've never heard of you?"

He was excited where he worked he barely talked to anyone near his age.

"Do you like manga, comic books, uh what do you do for fun?"

"Do you have anyone special, your out here so what about family, I mean personally mine is dead but you...Sorry im really excited i never really had anyone near my age around me." He mumbled the last part as his face turned a shade of red from embarrassment.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

As the other hunter asked question after question Lev only felt worse. Remembering his time at the academy and his connections to the other hunters which were permanently severed upset him. Finding out how quickly the other man finished his training and realizing that he could be a serious rival brought up negative feelings different from just anger.

However, as Atlas switched to more casual topics it became obvious he wasn't intending to irritate Lev. With the conversation spreading out into multiple directions, many of which were very comfortable and even somewhat amusing for Lev he became more willing to continue talking. Despite everything, he also rarely had a chance to be around someone his age.

 

Now having to answer everything he was a bit annoyed with how the other hunter asked about so many things all at once. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh before started speaking in an almost drone like voice.

 

-"We couldn't have had classes together... you were apparently finishing your studies at the time I was beginning. I was in the academy for about two and a half years and no I'm not connected to anyone any more. I don't know if the others talk about me so I don't know if you could have heard of me or not."

 

He paused shortly before continuing.

-"I don't read any of those things and I suppose I just... watch movies for fun." Lev wasn't sure himself what he did for fun and not just out of boredom.

 

As he moved on to the topic of family and "special" people his tone became softer and more thoughtful.

-"I'm sorry about your family. Mine are alive but I don't see them often because they are busy... and yes, I'm alone in this stupid forest so I obviously don't have any good friends or anyone special..." Most of his friends had been the people he hunted with.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas frowned at the others responses. So they couldn't have met before and the others had never talked about anyone named Lev.

 

"They never talked of you but it's okay...."

 

He smiled and hugged the other. Atlas wasn't the greatest with personal space, he hugged people a lot. Most likely to make up for all the years without family. But it was part of his odd, goofey, personality.

"I can be your friend." He said and then let go of the other. Scratching the back of his head.

 

"Sorry Im terrible with personal space." He smiled.

 

"Oh and don't be sorry about my parents, it was their own fault, but i guess i'm just as stupid though I belevie and try what they did. I was never in morning for them." He looked at the sky. "Because they died doing what they loved and accomplished much in thier life. And i'm doing the rest of there work..."

 

He smiled though out the whole thing, Atlas was just a happy person.

 

"But enough about my family, whats yours like?"

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Lev didn't have enough time to become upset that his friends and former comrades didn't even mention him now. As soon as he felt the other hunters arms lock around him his negative feelings faded, replaced with something alike shock. He froze up and watched the man with wide eyes for a moment, unsure what he was doing. The offer of friendship, however, made it more clear and Lev felt grateful for the gesture and proximity, even though he'd never appreciate such things in the past. It came t a good moment now and succeeded in cheering him up somewhat, though he didn't show it.

 

By the time Atlas let go of him, Lev had pulled himself together. His face seemed blank and emotionless again but he was ready to try being friendly. His resolve to go on with his plan and risk someone being hurt began to crumble also.

 

Listening to what else the other human had to say on the topic of family he became curious about who exactly the mans parents had been. He refrained from questioning him though and instead spoke about his own family, just as the other requested.

 

-"They took good care of me when i was younger... My father taught me how to hunt beasts and my mother was always focused on making sure I'm doing especially well with my studies. They aren't like that any more though. I think they've lost interest along the way. " He allowed himself a faint smile and quiet laugh as he spoke the last bit. "My parents aren't a very interesting thing to talk about though..."

 

-"Your pet... how did you get him...?" Lev paused and glared briefly at the small creature. " ...and why does it dislike me so much?"

[Funny Otaku]

(Hey sorry I totally blanked and forgot to tell you, I didn't have Internet for the past few days so it wasn't that i was ignoring this or anything sorry again but i have it back now.)

 

Atlas was glad the other was opening up. He didn't have many people to talk to on the fields or in the lab it was really only Drac... Lets just say if Drac could speak Atlas would tap his mouth, he knew to much about Atlas.

He listened to the other talking about his family. He felt bad for the other, not once did Atlas ever feel that his parents were not interested in him. They always showed him love and taught him everything he knew. They would always talk about how killing was only okay if your own life was in danger.

"I wouldn't say that your parents aren't interesting everyone has interesting people in their life." He smiled.

He listened as the other asked the question. Oh boy Drac's story was one of humor. He put Drac in his hand as he began to speak of their past.

"It was back at the academy, everyone thought that we had a bunch of regular old rats eating everything and biting random stuff. Me being a newbie and not having any high standing through my family, I was sent to kill it. At that point I had never killed anything in my life....I grew up in a scientist family we wanted to do anything but kill. So I spent about 2 weeks laying down non-lealth traps so I could relocate it, instead of killing it. About a week later, all the traps were broken. So I did a steak out in the kitchen. I think it was at like 2 am, I was dead asleep and Drac, literally flies right into my face. Turns out he was the rat. Of course him being a wild animal he was scared and ended up bitting me. I laid there slowly dyeing, because his venom kills humans in around 10 minutes. Drac was very fearful of me but I stuck out my hand but got bit again. 3 minutes had past and one of the night guards found me, then saw Drac and began trying to kill him. I yelled at him saying it was fine, don't kill it. Soon Drac ran near me and i grabbed him and held him close. Yelling not to kill him he was just an animal. I guess Drac kinda understood.Because I passed out and next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed in the academy, Drac asleep on my chest...Once I had passed out Drac gave me the anti-venom he had.....Which was just in time...It seemed he understood I was trying to help him. The medical team said he clung to me the whole time and it anyone tried to move him he would hiss and try to bite the person. And thats how our friendship started. Ugh that was a lot of words." Atlas finished the story looking at the rat/bat thing in his hands, smiling softly.

"Oh and Drac must have sensed something he didn't like about you when he met you."

[ZX-MetalMonster]

After hearing the others story Lev became rather concerned and curious if the man was even sane. If he himself were ever bit by something similar, his only thought would be to get a hold of the monster and make sure it goes down with him. However, if the other hunter hadn't told him the small furry animal he held was poisonous, Lev wouldn't have guessed it. He'd never seen anything like this little beast before and it truly seemed like just a pest similar to a rat to him.

 

Finding out that a highly dangerous, mini monster deeply disliked him because it sensed something in him wasn't very pleasant. He frowned, though this time not directly at the creature as before.

 

-"Keep it away from me..." He warned his comrade in the end.

 

It didn't seem to Lev that they had been walking for very long but he could recognize details along the poorly defined path and was aware they would arrive at their destination soon. The realization was more alarming than he expected and he came to a sudden stop, silent for a long moment without an explanation to why they should turn back. Lev wouldn't admit very lightly that he was concerned for the other hunter, so he couldn't be straight forward.

 

-"We're close, so it's better I tell you what I know about the animal now... We should have a plan." He explained

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas frowned at the others remark. He looked at Drac. Drac turned to him also looking at Atlas.

"Drac, he's a nice guy." Atlas muttered "And Lev don't say such a mean thing, Drac's A nice little dude, who just has some anger issues." He smiled, Letting Drac Fly ahead of them. The other stop suddenly.

"Your right was should have a plan. What type of animal is it?" Atlas turn serious. He had like a switch in him, he would go from his goofey attitude into a serious no joking person. Atlas was always like this. Even back when his parents were alive. Though he didn't crack a smile after his parents died for around half a year...mostly because he never told his parents who he really was...That he was gay and he never told them he actually wanted to take on the family business. These things ate him up even to this day.

"Tell me." His goofy side completely gone.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Being the kind of person who doesn't like being corrected of lectured, Lev was not at all alright with having the other hunter accuse him of being "mean", even though it wasn't unfounded. Even small comments like these bothered someone the prideful hunter and it took effort for him not to reply with something that would sound outright rude. Despite stopping himself from arguing, it would take much to change his mind about any monster.

 

Understanding that the others attention is now centered on the task ahead of them, Lev redirected his thought to the creature that was most probably close to them. He attempted to recall the animal with as much detail as possible.

-"It's basically a large serpent. I've seen it emerge from the lake but also disappear by digging itself into stone... it seemed very powerful, I'm sure we could find the tunnels it has dug unless the rock was badly damaged and later collapsed from it's activity." He explained in a matter of fact voice and ended up crossing his arms while he spoke.

-"I'm not sure how resistant it is to attacks, I haven't had a chance to use any of my weapons against. The first time I encountered it I wasn't armed and the second it was too far away for anything to be effective." For a moment he paused, apparently thinking over the times he had seen the creature. "It might be a gigantic one... I've never seen it's entire body..." Though he had only given a true description of what they would be fighting, Lev had some hope his comrade would decide not to hunt it down after all.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas listened to the other his face grew into a scowl. He hated snakes and things like snakes.

"Alright I have many many weapons on me. I most likely won't need help. So for your own safety since I also don't know your skill level so stay back. " Atlas took out a hand gun and a timed bomb he can throw.

"Stay behind me. "

Atlas whilsed summoning Drac back to his shoulder. As he walked further.

They came upon the lake.

"Drac scan over the water, then drop rocks making the animal wonder whats happening so i emerges and I can shoot it. "

Drac's little head nodded, as he jumped off the others shoulder and flew close to the water. He turned to Lev.

"Once it comes out dont get involved."

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Everything from "How dare you.", "You don't even know who you are speaking to." down to vicious insults ran through Lev's mind as the other hunter instructed him to stay back and stay safe. After this there was no more plan or reluctance about the plan, he no longer wanted the man or the company to be humiliated. What he hoped for now was seeing the unbearable punk get swallowed up by the snake and if that exact thing weren't to happen he was set on strangling the disrespectful hunter himself. His anger was so great he couldn't think of any of his usual worse scenarios or see any good intention in what Atlas had just told him.

 

-"Fine." Lev hissed as though he'd just gained some serpentine qualities himself. Obviously very unsatisfied with the situation he did as he was told.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas felt the others 'death stare'. Sighing he turned around.

"Lisen it's not like I want to insult you, it's i want to make sure you'er safe..thats my job."

He looked out at the water, and waited. It didn't take long for Drac to annoy the creature and make it pop up. and boy was it snake like.

"Great, It's head is fucking huge." Atlas was done with the day.

Drac flew towards the land the 'snake' following him.

"Drac, 4,3,2,1!" Alas yelled Drac swiveled away as Atlas threw the bomb.

In his head he knew that wouldn't kill it but would stun it giving Him enough time to dive into the water and shoot it.

He grabbed his oxygen mask (like the things in pokemon) and dove in.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

The additional explanation didn't have much effect on Lev, he watched everything the other did in silence still furious. It was largely because he felt overall upset and was failing to be fully professional, but he didn't agree with any of his comrades methods or how he was handling the monster. As it wasn't a situation in which he could voice his opinion, he only narrated complaints inside of his head.

 

He sat down on a fairly large rock, leaned forward and supported his elbows on his knees. The small portion of his mind that still functioned logically allowed him to understand that it would be best to ignore the entire battle going on before him and concentrate on something else so he can calm himself. However this small part couldn't overpower everything else that urged him to continue and inwardly ridicule everything his comrade did.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas started to shoot as it swam towards him. He ended up shooting it in the eye. but it didnt stop the thing. It was stronger then Atlas thought at first. He needed to get out of the water now. He swam and went fast but he felt a pull in his leg. The end of the 'snake' had wrapped around one of his ankles pulling him down. 'Damit' Atlas screamed in his head.

He grabbed his knife cutting the tail off of his leg, and rising to the surface.

He took a deep breath and looked around. Lev was sitting on a rock, right near the water. What was he thinking.

The 'snake' surfaces 'running away' going towards the rock.

"Lev Get away from there!" Atlas screamed. He swam as fast as he could towards the other.

He grabbed his bomb that was a net.

'Please work.' Altas begged in his head. He threw it the net trapping the snake right before it got to Lev.

He swam to the 'snake' and Lev , breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

It became apparent when the hunter was beginning to loose control over how things were playing out and Lev was unsure how exactly he felt about that. A part of him was certainly glad but the pleasure of seeing the other encounter problems didn't come without any guilt. He considered stepping in once or twice and restrained himself but when the serpent headed closer to him it was the perfect reason to jump into the battle. There was more than enough time to grab a hold of a powerful weapon, he calculated when the monster would reach him with ease and had it decided how he would act and what tactic he would use. However, none of that was any good when the snake ended up tangled in net before he could do anything.

 

Now not even trying to hide his irritation and calm himself, Lev stood tense and obviously raging. "Shut the hell up!" He yelled at the other man, loudly enough to feel a light pain in his throat and not wanting to hear another word he rushed off in the direction they had come from. He didn't even glance back at the hunter he left behind, instead he picked up speed as he moved away and was running in the end. The anger he felt eating him up made sure he couldn't get too far even though he ran at an incredible speed. His breathing was too hectic and uncontrolled, he came to a stop after a couple of minutes, took a few deep breaths and then marched on.

[Funny Otaku]

Atlas blinked slowly in utter surprise. He was so confused.

"Wait Lev!" He yelled a pout on his face.

He looked at 'snake' grabbing it'a head and swiftly cutting it off. He jumped out of the water soaked.

"Drac. Follow." He stated running after the other.Atlas was extremely physically fit. He felt pent up emotions in him. Why was he so bad at comunication, why did he make the other mad. Atlas had liked the other, his stoic personality and he was fairly nice at times. But really it was just nice to have someone in his age group to talk to. He ran up to him....grabbing his shoulder and stopping the others march.

"Lev why are you mad..did you get hurt." He asked these genuinely concerned.

[ZX-MetalMonster]

Fortunately, Lev had burned away some of his anger with the attempt to get away from the other hunter. He wasn't happy to hear the man catch up to him and stop him but he had calmed enough not to mindlessly yell at him again. Rather than try to get away he went along with what his comrade wanted and turned to face him, a frown on his lips made it clear he was still highly irritated.

-"Don't talk to me like I'm a defenseless child." Lev warned while he swiftly took a hold of the other's hand and moved it away from his shoulder. His voice was dark and serious. "It's one thing to make me stand aside because you don't know how skilled I am and another to act like I'm completely incompetent. I was taught how to handle bystanders the same as you, not to let them get involved or hurt but you can show at least a minimal amount of respect. You keep saying such stupid things I'm not sure if you're trying to tick me off or if you're just..." Lev regained enough sense not to finish the sentence, what he'd though to say wasn't what he actually believed. "This was all... a stupid idea from the start..."