A Knight's Precious Prince [KamekazePrince and Koe-chan]

[BlaqueCatt]

Eirik's response caught Kari off-guard, and the young man's gray eyes widened, staring up at the taller man in shock. The weight of what the knight had said crashed down upon him, making him feel weak again. He wasn't used to dealing with his emotions, and he was sure that he would collapse from the amount of strain that his mind was suffering from. "You..." The wetness that appeared on his pale cheeks froze with the wind, and he took a moment to cover his face with his hands, breathing deeply. Then, he lifted his head, and his expression held nothing but gratitude. "Thank you," he breathed, more than willing to say it over and over again. He understands me. Eirik wouldn't force him to act like everyone else. He appreciated who he was, wanted to protect him so that he could stay that way. He was giving him the time he needed.

 

The prince, not one to be vocal, didn't know what else to say. He wasn't a physical person either, but he still wanted to express how he felt towards the blonde man. Kari pushed his emotions upwards so that his gray eyes gleamed with the intensity of them. He stared at the knight for a few more seconds, maintaining eye contact, before turning away and gently taking his horse's reins. When he turned around, his expression was schooled, but there was a light in his eyes that had never been there before. "I think it would be best if went home now."

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik quivered anxiously as the boy covered his hands. He gulped uneasily. He started to rise but quickly settled when Kari looked back up at him. The boy breathed his gratitude. The knight beamed, a wave of joy and relief overpowering him. Kari’s words kept ringing pleasantly in his ears. He sat motionlessly and peered happily into the prince’s eyes. They were brimming with emotion. ...So my feelings did reach you... He simply gazed back at him warmly, trying to hold on to that precious moment. They had made a connection.

 

His eyelids flickered when Kari spoke. He pressed a hand against his knee and rose slowly. “Yes, lets go,” he murmured and turned around. Bjarne had begun severing the thorny branches on their path with his battleaxe. Eirik began scouting the perimeter, looking for a gap. The prince may have ducked and weaved due to his small size but for Odilla to have found her master, unharmed, there must have been a safe opening. He stopped at a break in the prickly bushes and pushed away the residual foliage, revealing a safe pathway. “I have found a clear path,” he turned back and announced to the others.

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari glanced at the path Eirik was gesturing towards, and a soft sigh slipped past his lips. "Looks like you remembered the way," he murmured to Odilla, gently stroking her nose with his right hand. I was in such a panic that I ran straight through the forest. The horse responded by huffing loudly, as if chastising the prince's carelessness, and nudged him between the shoulder blades. He rolled his eyes but obeyed with a small smile on his face, leading the mare over to the path with the reins in his left hand. There was a moment's hesitation at the head of the path, in which Kari briefly looked up at his knight. The young man blushed and quickly hurried back towards the castle, only now becoming aware of the cold numbing his body and the thin scratches littering his arms and face. I'm such an idiot! I'm going to be sick for weeks...

 

Once Kari was a good distance away from the clearing, Bjarne reached out and grabbed Eirik's arm. His grip wasn't painful; the pressure was more of a firm warning. "I don't know what just happened," he started, his tone deadly serious, "but my little brother seems to like you, so I will not interfere. But he is young and naive. If I have any reason to believe that you are taking advantage of him in any way, I will end you myself, no matter what my mother says." They maintained eye contact for a moment, and then the eldest prince followed after Kari. Freydar and Gaulik met up with him in the middle of the dirt road.

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik felt his throat constrict painfully at Bjarne’s remark. He eyebrows were pulled upwards in an expression of hurt. He held his breath uneasily till the man finished, and exhaled deeply as he turned away. The feelings of happiness that arose earlier were interrupted. Why are they so distrustful of me? Do I emanate such an air of wickedness? "I understand," he managed to mutter. It was humiliating to listen to Bjarne, but he had gotten used to it. Not that there was any less pain, but that he had grown to internalise it. Maybe the voices in his head were capable of such evil after all. He hung his head motionlessly till Bjarne left. He then trudged behind the pair quietly, his head still drooping.

 

He brightened however, at the sight of Kari uniting with his brothers. A helpless smile crept on his face as Freydar and Gaulik gushed over Kari, running their hands all over him worriedly. The knight chuckled under his breath. The princes were happy, he was happy. He sighed deeply. It is alright…I will be fine. He could take it all, their insult and injury, the pain and humiliation, as long as he could be around Kari. To see him happy. He smiled to himself and trailed behind the brothers towards the castle.

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari released a long, drawn-out sigh when he heard the sound of his brothers clumsily lumbering through the brush of the forest as they struggled to reach him. The two middle princes were on him on seconds, demanding answers and checking him for injuries. A scowl appeared on his pale face and he slapped their hands away, their touches sending unpleasant tingles up his arms. "I'm fine!" he snapped, his icy glare pushing them back a few steps. He felt something tug at his heart when he saw the hurt looks on their faces, but he remained expressionless; he was still afraid of revealing himself to them, because he was sure that they wouldn't understand. But Eirik...he understands. Another blush dusted his cheeks, though it was hidden well by the cold. Now that Kari knew what the knight felt for him...

 

I suppose I wouldn't mind if he touched me again... The blonde man had scared him at first, as he had had no idea of what Eirik's purpose had been. But now he knew, and it was comforting, knowing that there was someone who cared about him, the real him. Bjarne noticed the pink tinge on his brother's cheeks, but he said nothing to him or to the others. It would be his and Eirik's secret for the moment. Kari managed to brush off his brothers and hoist himself up onto Odilla's back, taking off with her before his brothers could lunge at him again.

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik made little of the blush on Kari’s cheeks. His own cheeks were radiant as he glided across the snow. His arms swayed gently against the wind and his lips were etched into a smile. “You’d better not be thinking anything,” Gaulik spat, “Or I’ll personally wipe that smirk off your face.” The knight heard him and bobbed his head lightly. He entirely missed the glowering looks from the brothers as they discussed and dissected him. He only stared at the silhouette of Kari and Odilla disappearing into the haze. I will do everything in my power to keep it this way.

 

I won’t touch him again… Kari’s frightened face had scarred him deeply. He didn’t know what the prince thought of him, how betrayed he might have felt. But now he knew, and it was comforting, that the prince knew nothing of the real him, of the monsters in his head. He swore never to show that side of himself to Kari again. Little did he realise how the prince would feel because of this.

 

“You still have to report to the King once Kari reaches,” Freydar reminded, his eyes crinkling coldly towards the knight. Eirik nodded, his gaze lowering to the snow in front of him. He knew that Kari trusted him, and would continue to keep him. That was all that mattered. The brothers shortly fell silent, depleted of remarks to throw at the blonde man. They continued plodding till the hazy outline of the palace came into view.

[BlaqueCatt]

Once he was sure that his brothers were too far away to catch up to him, Kari's muscles relaxed and he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Odilla's neck and nuzzling into her mane. Her scent calmed him, and he found that the small smile on his face had yet to vanish. For the first time in years, he felt content, as if nothing could stop him. He felt as though he could handle all of the abuse that was thrown at him without needing to hide behind his stone cold mask. Stop it. Thinking like that will only bring hurt later on. The internal lectures that usually managed to crush all semblance of hope were ineffective this time, and he was almost eager to show his true self to those around him. However, he knew that, at the moment, there was only one person he could be truthful to, and as soon as the castle came into view, Kari straightened in the saddle and erased his smile.

 

Crowds of servants rushed towards him the moment he was off his horse. He easily brushed off their false concern and pushed through them, making his way into the castle. "Be gentle with her!" he ordered to the man handling Odilla before the door slammed shut behind him. His footsteps echoed throughout the halls, and his parents heard him coming. Naaja clearly wanted to hug him, and Aleksej had a scolding on the tip of his tongue, but upon seeing the brightness in his gray eyes - the only thing he could not conceal - they both knew that their efforts were not needed. The Queen said, "Welcome home," and the prince nodded, replying with a short, "Eirik will be here shortly." Then, he turned on his heel and exited the main hall.

[KamekazePrince]

“See dear...” Naaja was beaming from ear to ear. She was relieved at last. Everything had been settled peacefully and Eirik would continue to protect Kari. “It all worked out," she spoke gently, placing a soft hand on Aleksej’s shoulder and looked into his eyes eagerly. Aleksej pressed his lips together pensively for a while before he shrugged, “I guess you’re right…” The couple exchanged warm smiles.

 

A loud thud interrupted them, followed by the clanging of gates after Aleksej gestured to his soldiers. The gates swung open and a strong gust of wind blew in as princes and the knight emerged from the outdoors. The brothers took their leave as the knight glided towards the royal couple and knelt a few feet away. It was Queen Naaja who spoke first and gestured for him to rise, “It appears that Kari has forgiven you, Eirik…” The knight couldn’t suppress a smile as he nodded gently. Even though he hadn't even asked for forgiveness properly. He hung his head quietly like a shy boy who had just been confessed to, though with his mighty stature it didn't entirely reflect. "Well then-" boomed the king, "Carry on with your duties then," he dismissed him with a wave of his hand towards Kari's direction.

 

The knight, still beaming, bowed swiftly and left. He trotted down the maze of corridors, his eyes darting all over in search of Kari till they alighted upon his small dark figure with his back turned. Eirik dashed eagerly towards him, softly repeating, "Prince Kari..."

[BlaqueCatt]

Someone called out to the prince, and he stopped in the middle of the hallway, glancing over his shoulder warily. His guarded gray eyes softened upon seeing that it was Eirik - not one of his brothers - who had approached, and he turned to face the knight. A small flutter of nervousness made itself known within his stomach, but it was extremely different from the churning anxiety that he felt when be was around most people; the sensation was strangely similar to excitement. "Yes, Eirik?" he asked, their gazes meeting. Usually, Kari only made eye contact with those he was angry with, but this time, there was an openness to his expression that had never been there before. He seemed almost eager to have a chance to talk to Eirik, which was quite out of character, as he constantly made an effort to avoid conversing with anyone.

 

The two of them were standing in front of each other, the brunette needing to raise his head in order to match Eirik's greater height. Kari's right hand was absent-mindedly rubbing his left arm, trying to regain some semblance of warmth. His pale skin was marred with pink in some places, as the cold was harsh on the prince's more sensitive body, and though the cuts on his face and arms had stopped bleeding a while ago, their reddish tint was still visible. Kari, however, did not seem bothered; he was too distracted by his new-found discovery to worry about his health, which was one of the reasons as to why he fell ill so often. "My brothers didn't scold you, did they?" he asked, his lips twitching as he fought the urge to scowl. "They're so stupid sometimes. No, they're stupid most of the time." He huffed, crossing his arms and looking to the side sulkily. "Well, if they did yell at you, forget about them. You...you didn't do anything wrong." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "It was...my fault for being so sensitive." He suddenly shook his head. "No, never mind, forget it. I'm just...I need to go get changed."

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik’s heart leapt out of his chest as Kari returned his gaze. He felt his knees go weak at the prince’s mention of his name… Perhaps he was still drunken with the honesty of Kari's confession. Or he was still trying to hold on to that connection he believed they had achieved. He allowed himself a chuckle at the prince's question. With the prince’s dismissal of his brothers, Eirik swelled up with pride. That the prince should put down his brothers in my defence! He was floating a few inches from the ground. It was a heavenly taste of acceptance. At the prince’s final words however, he only felt a prick of pain.

 

“Please don’t do this to yourself,” Eirik found himself gushing, “You are faultless-“ he stopped before crossing his limits and fell silent. Kari had told him to leave it at that. The knight pressed his lips tightly. He didn’t want to pressure the boy for replies, like he had erroneously done before. “Yes, Prince Kari,” he quickly muttered, “I’ll wait for you outside.” He hung his head quietly, his hands clasped in front. He pondered over the prince’s words and the guilt that they contained. You did nothing wrong..., he wanted to blurt. The same words that the Queen had so generously granted the knight, were the very words he found himself wanting to tell Kari. The strain of containing them manifested in his slightly quivering form. He repeated the words over and over again in his head till he thought it was safe enough to let them out. He finally spoke up, “Prince Kari, you did nothing wrong.” His face was serious. “I just wanted to tell you that. That is all,” he added, lest he may have come off as persistent and hoped that he didn't. He gazed pressingly into the prince's face but what he saw caught his attention.

 

When did he get those cuts?

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari had resumed his journey down the hall after he had finished speaking, feeling a burning sensation in his cheeks and on the tips of his ears. Why am I acting like this? It's so embarrassing... Yet he could not find it in himself to continue to treat Eirik as distantly as he did others. The knight was proving to be the kind of friend he had always wanted, and the emotional part of him was unwilling to let that go, even though his rational side was warning him to push Eirik away before something happened. I would like to teach him, he mused, another smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I don't expect him to love knowledge like I do, but I think he will appreciate being wiser than my idiot brothers. The prince was once again halted mid-step when the knight called out to him.

 

“Prince Kari, you did nothing wrong. I just wanted to tell you that. That is all.” Kari's eyes widened, and he felt the heat burn with more intensity. He wanted to snap at Eirik, tell him to stop saying such stupid things, that it was his fault for being weak, but the words caught in his throat when he turned and saw the seriousness of the blonde man's expression. He stared at the man in shock for several seconds, trying to think of a response. After a moment, he nodded before stepping forward and entering his chambers, which were on the left side of the hall.

[KamekazePrince]

As the prince turned to face him, Eirik saw clearly the little cuts over his face and arms. They still shone in crimson on his pale skin, though they weren't bleeding. The knight felt his heart churn as the prince swiftly turned his back on him and exited. Why did I do that to him...

 

Eirik leaned against the wall and placed one foot over the other, crossing his arms behind his back pensively. He found himself lost in thought. Why was he so strange in Kari’s presence? Why did he feel such a tide of emotions around him? It was atypical of him, the Silver-Knight, to be roused or agitated. He was always calm and composed. Was it because of the overwhelming love Eirik felt for Kari? Well, it is true, I do love my prince deeply…, Eirik confessed in his head, a smile tugging at his lips. Platonic love, or so he thought. ...Wait, my prince?

 

He hadn’t realised the feelings of romantic love stealthily creep into him. The unhealthy obsession, the overprotective urges, the flowery idealisation, the lovestruck paranoia and the fear of rejection. The fluttering heart, the buttery knees, the loss of breath. The knight groped in the myriad of his thoughts, oblivious to the growing feeling of love. Little the knight realise that the two were just awakening to the startling likeness between them.

 

I want to know him more.

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari leaned back against the door as soon as it was shut, releasing a heavy sigh and closing his eyes. Various emotions were building up inside of him, threatening to break loose if he wasn't careful, and though he was very intelligent, he was unable to use logic to decipher them. For once, reason was not enough. He was experiencing something far different from anything he had faced before; feelings and equations did not exist within the same realm. He was at a loss, a complete and utter loss, and that scared him. He had always believed that he could survive in this world as long as he had his mind. But now, his mind was betraying him, forcing him to confront the emotions he had buried deep within himself. He was torn between embracing the change and hiding himself away from the world.

 

The people of the kingdom despise me, and yet this man, who is not part of my family and therefore not obliged to care for me, has shown me more kindness than all others. The prince's hands, which had been pressed flat against the wooden door, were lifted to his face as he stared at them. He said I was beautiful. Perfect, even. His heart thumped in his chest, and he shook his head. I do not understand. He says such sweet things to me, but I do not know why. Kari lowered his arms and pushed off of the door, making his way further into his room. It was dark, as the windows were covered by curtains, but the young man knew where everything was. He took his time changing, removing his training clothes and putting on his usual trousers, shirt, boots, and cloak. Then he spent some time cleaning the scratches with a wet cloth. He sneezed more times than he would have liked, but he wasn't certain if he was sick or not. Once he was finished, he hesitated by the door.

 

I do not know why he cares for me, but...I am grateful that he does. Again, his heart jumped. I want to care for him in return... Kari inhaled deeply, then opened the door and stepped into the hallway. He was surprised to see the knight still standing there. "Were you waiting for me?" he asked before he could stop himself. Of course he was, you idiot! He's your guard.

[KamekazePrince]

I do love Prince Kari deeply, Eirik admitted shyly in his head as he awaited the prince’s return. But why…? An answer sprung instantly. Of course, since Prince Kari is beautiful.

 

Satisfied with his simple conclusion, Eirik resumed gazing peacefully into space. Bubbling beneath that simple sentiment was an understanding so profound, a sense of unspoken connection. It didn’t make sense, given Kari’s aloof nature. What did Eirik know about Kari? Who was he, to assume within his little head, what the prince truly felt? Yet the knight felt as though he just knew. Eirik smiled faintly, not entirely aware of these thoughts wandering about. He spun around at the sound of the door opening.

 

”Yes Prince Kari,” he replied courteously and bowed. He darted his eyes over the prince’s face and hands, frowning slightly at the sight of his forearms now hidden within the sleeves. I hope he is not hiding his pain. Knowing Kari however, the knight felt unsettled as he ran his eyes over the boy's cheeks. The scratches there had bled to their might and only crimson lines were visible. With the slightest tension in his brow he looked into the prince’s eyes and requested, “Shall I clean your wounds?”

[BlaqueCatt]

Eirik's question took the prince by surprise, and he seemed momentarily confused. He blinked, staring at the knight, not quite understanding until he followed the blonde man's line of sight. Oh, he means the scratches. Kari gently touched three fingers to one of the cuts on his cheek, pressing against it thoughtfully. "It's nothing serious," he replied, pulling his hand away and seeing no blood on the pads of his fingers. "They stopped bleeding, and I already cleaned them with water." With anyone else Kari would have found their worry to be annoying and suffocating, but he felt nothing but gratefulness and amusement when it came to Eirik. He's worried over something as minor as a few scrapes! He really must care for me. Such thoughts were hard for the prince to accept, yet he couldn't deny his feelings. He wanted to open himself up to Eirik, but he wasn't sure how; there was still that nagging fear that he would end up hurt.

 

"Thank you, Eirik, but you don't have to worry." Though his face remained blank, there was a smile in his eyes. "It's too cold to go outside, but dinner is not for some time. I'd like to go to the library again." His tone was different from usual; it was as if he was making a suggestion to a friend rather than giving a command to a subordinate. "Oh, and I'll need to retrieve the books I left with the flowers," he muttered, this time to himself, a small frown on his face. I hope they haven't gotten dirty...

[KamekazePrince]

“As you wish, Prince Kari,” Eirik surrendered. He didn't even put up a fight like he usually did. He was in fact, taken aback that the prince hadn’t neglected himself. The idea that Kari cared for himself was so astounding that Eirik didn’t press the issue, as much as he would have liked to clean his scrapes. He was quite torn between the two. Wanting to care for him, at the same time, not wanting to hurt him. For a person like me, that must surely be impossible… His eyes flickered gloomily before resting upon Kari’s. There was a light, a smile in them. Not just that, everything was different. His tone, his reactions. Eirik gazed eagerly at Kari.

 

His heart felt like it had suddenly sprouted wings. The fears within him had abated for the moment, in light of Kari’s warmth. Maybe there was hope. That it could be something beautiful. That he could love him unashamedly, unreservedly, and without hurting him. We’d never know unless we tried, would we… “Yes lets go,” the knight finished cheerfully.

 

Let me linger for a little while longer in your warmth.., he begged in his heart.

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari, who had once again been distracted by his own thoughts, merely nodded in response to the knight's comment, his gaze somewhat distant as he pulled his cloak tighter around himself to protect against the lingering chill beneath his skin. He started down the hall at an even pace, his light footsteps making little sound against the polished wooden floor. Every so often a shiver would pass through his body, but he paid it no mind. He was preoccupied with thoughts of his books and notes. Though few people entered his small sanctuary, his mother was insistent that it be cleaned regularly, and he was worried that his papers had been tossed away. There weren't many who treasured books the way he did, and he was sure that a servant would discard his work without giving it a second thought.

 

The prince's lips pursed together into a thin line. He quickened his pace, not glancing behind him to see if Eirik was following, though he had a feeling that the older man was right behind him. Soon he reached the secluded extension of the castle and threw open the door. He let out a sigh of relief and smiled slightly when he saw that everything was where he had left it. Carefully, he lifted the books into his arms, staggering slightly under the weight. He huffed in annoyance, struggling to see around the tall pile in his arms. "Eirik?" he called, biting his lip as he tried to keep from losing his grip on the stack. The books were fragile and it would be devastating if he dropped them due to his own clumsiness. "Help me?"

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik trailed behind Kari eagerly, like a happy dog having been reunited with its owner. He was still soaring with the new wings his heart had sprouted. There was a tiny, but discernible spring in his step, quite in contrast to the prince’s light and steady pace. His pace was slightly on and off, as he flickered back and forth between his surroundings and his thoughts, quite typical of him. He spun back to reality as the boy called out to him.

 

“Yes Prince Kari!” Eirik startled and jumped towards Kari. An idiot I was. He thrust his arms underneath the pile, accidentally brushing against Kari’s hands. He winced in his head, but continued fumbling with his hands for a while until he finally gripped the base and extricated the massive pile from the boy’s tired hands. “Phew,” he let out as though he was the one doing something dangerous. It sure felt like he was. He quickly corrected his negligence, “Please let me carry these for you from now on,” he appealed to the prince. He didn't like the prince straining himself. Though it appeared that the prince thought it too lowly a task to ask of him, Eirik was more than willing to do it. Isn’t it all part of being a knight?

 

The last line spilt from his lips without him realising it.

[BlaqueCatt]

By the time Eirik came to his rescue, the prince's arms were trembling and he was panting softly through his nose. Physical activities held no appeal to him, and those combat techniques he did study were not overly strenuous. A breath of relief left him once the burden was lifted, and he took a step back so that he was out of the knight's way. "Thank you," he said genuinely, and for once in his life he felt embarrassed by his lack of strength. Please let me carry these for you from now on. Being around the knight was suddenly making him self-conscious, and while previously the knowledge that his mind was stronger than his body had been enough to placate him, he currently found himself wondering if his weakness was part of what made the people of his kingdom dislike him.

 

I live in a country of people who celebrate prowess in battle, yet I am a prince who cannot even lift a sword. Every so often - more often now that he was older - he doubted himself to the point of considering a drastic change. Eirik had no knowledge of this, but Kari sometimes thought it may be beneficial to become more like his older brothers. But even then they still wouldn't accept me. My appearance is too different. A small smile had appeared on Kari's face when he thanked the knight, but it was gone now as he struggled internally. His brows were furrowed and his lips were drawn into a thin line. However, when Eirik spoke he was drawn from himself and became aware of his surroundings.

 

"...I suppose it is," he murmured in response, glancing at the taller blonde man before heading towards the door. "We should put the books away."

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik nodded at the prince’s command but frowned slightly at his expression. The boy was lost inwards in thought, with a growing expression of uncertainty on his face. There were often times like this when the knight would find himself a helpless witness to Kari’s plight. Occasionally, he would ask a question or two, but the boy would just dismiss him with an ‘I’m fine.’ Sometimes it eased the knight, but other times, he had no choice but to let it slide uneasily. The one time he had persisted, nearly cost their friendship dearly, if you could call it that.

 

This time, Eirik felt different. He trailed behind Kari, coining the words in his head. Perhaps still intoxicated from that afternoon, he softly ventured, ,”If I may be so bold as to ask, what thoughts trouble you Prince Kari?” He left no room for denial through the phrasing of his words. He was now walking beside him and looking at his face pressingly.

[BlaqueCatt]

Kari was thrown off-balance by the knight's words, and he came to a complete stop in the middle of the hallway, turning to face Eirik with an unreadable expression. The servants who had been lingering in the vicinity immediately sensed the tension and quickly made themselves scarce; within moments the two men were alone. Kari's stormy gray eyes searched Eirik's own blue eyes for several seconds, seemingly attempting to discern the reason for the question. Eventually, the youngest prince sighed through his nose and lowered his head, his mask slipping. "I do not know if it is a positive development, you learning to read me so well." His voice was soft and slightly defeated. "No one has been capable of knowing what I am feeling; even mother has trouble. Either I am weakening in my defense or you are becoming more intuitive."

 

The prince gave the knight a small smile, but it was obviously strained and held no humor. He studied the blonde man's face and was both amused and exhausted by the persistent look. "I would like to tell you," he continued after a few minutes of silence, in which the pair simply stood next to each other in the empty hallway, "yet I fear retribution. Never before have I opened myself up to anyone." Kari met Eirik's eyes again, and his gaze was intense. "You have done more for me than anyone else, and I appreciate that more than you know. But..." I don't want to turn you away with my strangeness. Eirik had already confessed to the prince that he found him to be beautiful and perfect, but Kari feared that it was only because the knight did not know the real him. Will he still want to stay by my side after I reveal myself to him?

 

"...but I am unsure if you will like what you hear." His voice dropped to a whisper, and he averted eye contact, his hands clenched inside of his sleeves.

[KamekazePrince]

"...You are learning to read me so well." Eirik gulped in anticipation, his heartbeat quickened. Never had the prince spoken like this before. "....I would like to tell you," You would? "...Yet I fear retribution."

 

Eirik’s forehead bore a high vertical line as though someone had hung his eyebrows from the ceiling. His heart churned with anguish. "...I am unsure if you will like what you hear." Though the boy’s words were somewhat restrained, they were saturated with emotion, with feeling and truth. But what could possible change because of his words? What was he afraid of revealing? His weakness? His peculiarities? These were but natural things. Things that made him human, that made Eirik love him all the more. Or was he like himself? Filled with ugly and violent thoughts?

 

Eirik sighed deeply and lowered his gaze to his feet. He paused thoughtfully for a while. No part of Kari could be worse than the things that I am. It wasn’t shame he felt, it was a great confidence in his prince's goodness, in his tremendous empathy. Eirik slowly gathered his thoughts and spoke, “We all have things we want to hide from others, things we’re ashamed of….But maybe, if we reveal them, we may find that we’re not actually so different...”

 

The knight swooped to his knees and clasped his hands pleadingly at his abdomen. He gazed achingly into the prince’s eyes. “Shame is too great a burden for a person to bear alone.” His voice was grave, his words rang with experience. “I promise you this. No matter what you say, I won’t chide you for it. I won’t leave you.” He extended his right arm towards the prince, as though seeking his hand. With a gentle smile playing on his face, he added, “If you’re still afraid, if you still want to be alone, then know that we’ll be alone together.”

[BlaqueCatt]

So stunned was the prince by his knight's words that he stared down at the man with wide gray eyes for several moments, his lips parted as if to speak, yet no sound emerged. His brain seemed to have short-circuited, and he was no longer capable of forming coherent thoughts. All he able to do was feel the fierce onslaught of emotions that wracked his small body. Never before had he heard such words. The acceptance in Eirik's voice was obvious, and though it was too good to be true, Kari knew that the other man wasn't lying. He could tell from the way Eirik knelt in front of him and extended a hand in friendship, bearing himself to the prince as if committing a noble sacrifice. The speech, short yet moving, replayed inside of his head. “If you’re still afraid, if you still want to be alone, then know that we’ll be alone together."

 

Kari suddenly exhaled sharply and ducked his head, his thin frame trembling. Tears had sprung into his eyes, and he took a moment to regulate his breathing and attempt to blink away the signs of his turmoil. There was a moment's hesitation, and then he timidly reached out towards the knight with an unsteady hand, pausing every so often before the tips of his pale fingers grazed Eirik's palm. Once they made contact, the young man dropped to his knees, and the tears flowed silently. He sniffed softly, taking deep breaths through his nose. Eventually he emptied himself of all the negative emotions that had built up over the years, and when he was finished, he looked up at Eirik and gave him a small, tired smile; the revelation had taken a lot out of him. "Thank you," he began, "You are the first person to have ever shown me acceptance and been willing to try and understand me. It will take time, but...I want to be able to confide in you, Eirik. As a friend." Their eyes met. "And I would like it if you would do the same."

[KamekazePrince]

Eirik’s lips burst into a grin as Kari took his outstretched arm. That’s right, we’ll make it…

He stopped. His breath caught in his throat as the prince broke down in silent tears. His lips pursed tightly to contain his sobs as he watched on helplessly. “…I want to be able to confide in you, Eirik.” Those words tugged away at his heart. I want to tell you so many things too… Tiny tears began gathering at the corners of his eyes. He was afraid to speak a word, lest it opened the floodgate of sobs he was containing. “…I would like it if you do the same.” ....No…. The knight was shaking his head, seemingly in a trance. A trace of fear streaked through in his eyes, now leaking tears. The shame, the ignominy ! Was he to show his ugly fears to the prince?

 

It was then that he realised of the gravity of Kari’s fears, the painful emotions that squirmed underneath. He stopped and gazed intently at the prince. The lump in his throat tightened painfully. How brave of him… He had let down his restraints, his fears, and so gracefully that even the knight couldn’t keep up. Eirik felt a strong resolve rise within him. I will do everything for him.

 

“I promise you, I’ll tell you everything,” he declared. He raised his left arm and clasped the prince’s hand with both his palms, enclosing it. He slowly brought it near and held it close to his heart. ”I’ll be there, no matter how much time it takes.”

[BlaqueCatt]

At first, silence was the only response he received, and Kari's heart clenched painfully inside of his chest as he assumed the worst. The fingers of his left hand were tightly curled into the fabric of his cloak, and his right hand had started twitching, as if he were thinking of pulling away from Eirik. His gaze drifted to the side, and fresh tears threatened to fall. Has my honesty turned him away? He should not have have made an assumption so quickly, as not a second later the knight spoke. “I promise you, I’ll tell you everything. I’ll be there, no matter how much time it takes." All of the weight resting on the prince's shoulders seemed to lift at that moment. Those words brought warmth to his heart and light to his mind. A teary smiled appeared on his pale face, and he allowed Eirik to pull his hand to his chest, not once flinching or trying to put distance between them. For once in his life, he found the touch of another to be comforting.

 

"You have no idea how much this means to me," he breathed, gently placing his other hand on top of the knight's. His movements were uncertain, and there was a faint blush on his cheeks as he covered Eirik's hand with his own. "If...if you are willing, there is so much I want to show you." A spark of excitement lit his gray eyes, mixing with the relief and exhaustion that was already there. They held eye contact for a minute or so, neither one wanting to look away. Then, Kari's blush deepened and he reluctantly stood. "Um, we have to put the books away," he murmured; instead of cold and aloof, he was now acting shy and quiet, no longer needing to put up a shield.