Just as You Are

[Teesie]

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Just as You Are

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[td]Summary: Prospering through life is that of a dream to all humanity. Along the way, there are trials and errors. Battles won; battles lost. Bonds are created; some are broken. Through it all, most are able to manage. Whether it be alone or with another. Albeit, what is true happiness? Can it be obtained, or is it just a mockery to snatch away at any given moment? At some point, one's happiness is another's misery.

 

Brian Taylor was that of a 'normal' man. Just entering adulthood was harder than he thought. It never struck to figure himself out. Such a task isn't as easy when surrounded by the same, strict, influential environment. Others are able to break free. Learn themselves. Although life was difficult as is, now was Brian's turn. Can fear of judgements sway his actions in life? If so, will all be corrected?[/td]

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"The meaning of life are one of those questions that has many answers. All life's lessons doesn't pertain to the next individual. As said, no one is the same; albeit we are all categorized into groups. Ones divided by race, age, and sex. Not only does it end with those. There are the rich, the poor; superior, inferior. Stereotypes, politics, interests and even religions. Each in which I believe to stunt one's character. A fish can't expect to climb a tree, when it has been told all its life, that it couldn't. That is the way I view life as an overall. It seems to not be much but if thought on, one will see that all problems lie within. I can voice my opinion on different views I see as a scenario. Most wouldn't care to agree. Others will tolerate it, but I suppose that is were we differ. I not only deal with the difference of each character; I support it. Though every aspect in life has a limit. One that not even I can surpass. There are just some acts that is monstrous. At least that is what I think. Although, at times, I ask myself is it wrong to even judge such an act as inhumane. Then I remind myself that I'm not perfect. No one is. I have judgements too. In fact, all of which I may state is opinionated; but it has only been influenced by what I've witnessed. I feel lost. What is this world coming to? So much cruelty. I feel at times that humans never believe enough. We are all suppressed to a presence much more than just a man with power. I don't feel in control. As a Guinea pig surrounded by demons-"

 

That was me, Brian Taylor, conversing to a woman that I held close to my heart. Little did she know, after such a mental breakdown the nights before, that I would harm myself to such a length of no recovery. It shocked even me. I never thought to be one to harm himself. Though, as voiced, all aspects in life had a limit. Even willpower. Many nowadays agreed that suicide was of the weak. I'd be one to disagree. It takes the courage and strength of a million men. Those poor souls. Do they realize there is no return? Maybe some have a hope for a better living, in the afterlife. That is, even if they believed. Humans fight for a reason to be remembered and loved. Once that thought is lost ... depression takes its course. We all would rather live in a comfortable illusion, than that of an uncomfortable reality. Believing and not believing has such a strong impact. It is what saves our sanity. Now do I agree with the saying that ignorance is bliss. Had I thought less, maybe I'd have saved myself of such an ugly fate. Never had I been lucky.

 

"Brian, this is what freaked you out? Listen, you can't change people. We all are selfish. Humans only decide on what benefits them.That is all."

 

"No, you don't understand. That isn't the biggest problem. It's just a fragment as to why I panicked last night. I just feel as if I have no control. I don't know what to do. These monsters... Those of the media, are the ones to control the mind. Why does it seem no one can look past that. On a daily basis, humans obey whoever it is in charge. I just don't get it."

 

At that time, I actually cried. With that said, let's point out a stereotype. If a man weep, what does most of society think? He's a weakling. A man isn't supposed to sob. Pure bullshit. Wouldn't lie to say that I hadn't agreed at a point, but now was different. It wasn't only for the fact of judgements that I didn't bawl. It was because certain acts of rarity held much more value. So at the time I actually cried. Not to the point of screaming about, but surely to a point where it was unable to be hidden from Brooke. Note, it was the first tears in years. Honestly.

 

I have to admit, that the beauty not being in my presence made it much easier. Did I mention we had never met in person? In my opinion, if distance held no power to subdue the strengthening of a bond, it was much more beautiful.

 

"Does control mean so much to you, hon?"

 

I wondered that myself. It isn't that I can control how I reacted to certain thoughts. Admitting to being a slave to emotions, wasn't the case. I was one detached to said feelings. It caused many problems, as you'd later know.

 

"Brooke, that isn't what...- why do you insist-..."

 

A sigh escaped her lips, having me to shut my mouth. I knew her like the back of my hand, so her being tired of my ranting was not in mind. She either disliked how I was thinking out of worry, or she was afraid.

 

"That's life, hon. You are in control. You make your own choices, don't you? We all have to do something we can't control. I have to mind my boss, but it is up to me whether or not I choose to do a good job. I don't like to see you this way Brian. It's a scary thought, but...wouldn't it be worth knowing that you made choices?"

 

Not a word of hers, at the time, did I agree with. I understood what she was saying, albeit I was too deep in thought. We all have a written path, so whatever was to happen, would happen. She asked me, would I just sit around to do nothing in order to take control. Well, if destiny has written itself, maybe this was how it was. I seen no use in trying. I was at my limits.

 

"Do you believe that our fate is already written? What if my path ends here?"

 

"Do not think that way. I think you are in need of a new environment. Brian, you're surrounded by negative energy. Once you have your own place, you'll see the world in a more positive light."

 

"Meh, I suppose you're right. Well...thank you. For being there for me. It is much appreciated."

 

"No need to thank me. Will you be OK?

 

"Yeah, I'm sure to be fine."

 

Ok. Now get some rest. It will help."

 

That was the advice taken. With some much needed sleep, I'd be sure to be over the situation in the morning. Such a breakdown wasn't normal for me. With accepting life as it come, only little could manage to break me. I suppose taking everything with little reaction could build up, even when it was not noticed. I can say, little did Brooke know, that she calmed me to no end. She was a good friend no doubt.

 

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Author's Note: So this is the opening of the fiction. A little of what's to come. I wasn't too detailed on the 'mental breakdown' he had, but decided to give a little insight. As I was typing, my fingers got a mind of their own and this is what it brought forward. I had an original plan for this story, and as far as I know, it will still happen. I just have to see do I wish for it to be written in first, or third person. I have to weigh the pros and cons of each.

 

[Tetsu]

"Brian, this is what freaked you out? Listen, you can't change people. We all are selfish. Humans only decide on what benefits them.That is all."

 

I like this girl! looking forward to this story lol.

[Suida]

agree with Tetsu ^^ she's indeed a very smart and prudent girl!

[Ayakashiu]

Hmm..I will have to join in and agree with what was written above. I like this girl's thinking, she seems awesome. Brian should listen to her. :3

[Tetsu]

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I when i was reading that part I thought of you

[Ayakashiu]

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Because I'm just that awesome right? :Friends-for-life:

[Tetsu]

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haha yes, yes, you are you could have been the inspiration behind this girl