One More Moment (Vyssini and Zombie) [18+]

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Three days seem like such a long time when you're waiting for an answer. Felix could see his hands shaking when he got into his car. He promised to get Zed to the hospital, he didn't forget his promise. He never did. The man looked rather terrible himself, though. The past few days he barely slept - be it stress or something else, he couldn't fall asleep properly, and if he did, nightmares would follow. He decided to use the chance to consult with a professional while he was at the hospital. Felix drove slowly, finding it harder and harder to focus on the road. He did manage to get to Zed's house, then pulled out his phone. He didn't even trust his voice, so opted to sending a text.

 

[I'm outside your house. Come out and let's go to the hospital.] With that, he pressed send and leaned back against the seat. Dark circles underneath his eyes were masked with the little amounts of make-up he had at home. He just had to fake being alright... He was used to it, he knew he would manage. Just smile, act relaxed and everything will work out. Fake it till you make it, as he liked to say.

[vyssini]

After coming home, he was feeling so horrible making him retch with his poor, empty stomach before barely making it on his bed. It wasn't a surprise when he woke up earlier the next day to find his door ajar. A black kitten even went inside and wrecked his way to the kitchen making him clean up the mess. The irritation quickly became fondness for the little feline, he named Nero as he decided to keep it.

 

Today, Zed woke up earlier than he should. He took a sip on his coffee reliving the three days passed. Having the kitten on his lap became a familiar scene. He knew the test results were to be released today and he expected himself to be nervous. But much to his surprise, he was strangely calm and resigned. "Hey!" He curiously watched Felix' expression after greeting him with little Nero in his arm.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix waited for a text back for a bit before realizing it was useless. With a heavy sigh, the man stood up and walked to the house, opening the door with a quiet 'I'm coming in'. Once he saw the kitten, a soft, gentle smile appeared on his face and he moved closer, holding his hand out for the kitten to sniff. "First, learn to use your phone. Second, where'd you get this little guy? And third... We gotta go." The man spoke quietly, gently petting the cat. He was perfect at faking being alright. Zed had enough to worry about himself right now, there was no need for him to add to his concerns.

[vyssini]

"Isn't he adorable? I called him Nero. I fo.." He was too excited and almost blurted out the truth behind the little kitten. He was glad he was able to stop himself just in time. If Felix knew, he would never hear the end of it. "I picked him up. he..he.." 'in my kitchen' He added in his mind. He never once lied to his good friend and he wasn't about to start now. It was one of the things he could proudly claim and state. But of course, there were times just like this that he didn't dare tell the whole truth either.

 

"Wait here." He lifted his kitten and put him on the table before he entered his room. He hadn't held his phone since last time he tried to call Felix. He wasn't too fond of it and only remembered it when Felix reminded him. He picked it up from the drawer and saw the text. [i'm ready to go, coming out now.] He sent a reply before sticking out his head with his tongue out. He could tell his friend was worried for him but he decided not to think of it until he saw the results. His head hurt for over thinking.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but decided not to question Zed's explanation about the kitten. It felt like there was something he wasn't telling, but quite frankly, Felix felt too tired to ask. He would probably worry even more about it when he didn't know, but he could also try and fool himself that this was it, that it was just a stray kitten his friend had found in the street. The man nodded slightly, staying with the kitten as he waited for Zed. As his phone vibrated, the man managed a smile, just putting the device back into his pocket.

 

"Alright, let's go then." He muttered, gently scratching behind Nero's ear before turning around, pushing his hands into his pockets. He exhaled rather loudly, closing his eyes for a few moments as he walked out the door. "Hey, Zed... I scheduled an appointment for myself, after your results. Do you mind waiting a little bit for me?" He asked hesitantly, a bit of nervousness in his voice. Even now, he felt selfish for asking Zed to wait for him.

[vyssini]

Zed walked to kiss his Nero goodbye. The soft purr made him smile. "I have a cat carrier. You think we can bring him with us?" His voice low and almost inaudible. He already became attached to his little friend who climbed in his arms. The feline in his arms made him strangely calm. 'Eh?' He turned his head around to see Felix near the door. "Appointment? You?" Oblivious to the nervousness in his friend's voice, he asked wide-eyed. In a few strides, he reached to feel Felix's forehead with the back of his hand. "I mean..Is there something wrong with you? Are you sick?" He managed not to bite his tongue off in asking. He never really considered Felix getting sick. To think that his friend even needs an appointment, was it that serious?

 

In his eyes, Felix was a good friend who's always calm in any circumstances. Strong and kind. One who always concerned himself in other's business. And.. One who always helped others. Not just in one or two circumstances that he thought his good friend was being way too nice at the expense of himself. He disliked seeing Felix tired after helping one of his friends. But who was he to say anything? He wasn't just any one of those friends but 'the' one who brought the good man the most troubles.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

"I'd rather you not... I mean, there's no way we can bring it to the hospital, and leaving it in the car just seems wrong." Felix refused rather quickly, shaking his head slightly. As Zed walked towards him, feeling his forehead, the man could feel a rush of blood to his cheeks - usually he was the one who initiated any kind of physical contact, so when Zed touched him, even if in a simple way like this, it felt special. "It's... Just a check-up. Nothing serious." He managed a smile, gently removing his friend's hand from his forehead.

 

Turning around, Felix walked out the door, heading towards his car. He was acting a bit fidgety, it wasn't like him... Well, he was just trying to keep Zed from worrying, as always, but he wasn't able to mask his own problems that well this time. Absentmindedly, he rubbed his eye slightly, messing up the make up he had on to hide his dark circles. Honestly, this was the first time he'd felt this bad in a long time. Zed's headaches weren't helping him, either.

[vyssini]

'So it was just a check-up.' He let out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding. At least, he knew his friend's fine. He pushed his worries back down and let out a relieved smile. "That's great." Somehow, Zed had the feeling that the idea of having the kitten with him in the hospital was going to be rejected. But he still had to ask, though in a very low voice. He wouldn't insist as he wasn't too eager either. As Felix turned around to leave, he set the little feline down. "We won't take too long. Don't mess with the house while I'm gone." Nero purred as it licked itself. He made sure his door was locked before sprinting to the car where Felix was waiting.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix turned the car engine on once Zed got inside. He began driving, the music quietly playing from his car radio. A quiet sigh slipped past his lips, hands tightening around the wheel as he thought about Zed finding out the real reason for his visit. Soon enough, he pulled to a stop at the hospital, glancing at the clock to make sure they still had enough time to get where they needed in time. "I'll go with you to your appointment, then to mine. It shouldn't take longer than fifteen minutes, okay?" He asked softly while getting out of the car. Felix didn't know how long Zed's appointment would take, but it shouldn't be that long... Right?

[vyssini]

Zed fiddled with his silver necklace while Felix was driving. "I'll just get the results. Do you really need to accompany me?" Wetting his lips, "I mean.. You can go to your appointment and I'll meet my doctor. That way, we'll be done almost at the same time, no need to wait." When they pulled over, he unbuckled his seat belt and stepped out of the car. "So?" He asked Felix. He wished he didn't sound too stiff. He didn't want to bring unnecessary worry.

 

These past few days, he was thinking about his over-reliance on Felix. He knew the man had his own troubles to deal with and he didn't want to add to that burden. It might be a little late but he knew whatever their relationship was, he became overly dependent on his friend. Since he saw the error of his ways, he decided to retreat. Of course, it would be hard, so maybe, a little bit at a time. 'And it seems that it is a good time to start,' he sighed inwardly.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix could feel his body stiffening as he listened to Zed. He didn't like that idea. He hated it, he hated it so goddamn much... "No." He muttered, even his voice tense as he looked at his friend with eyes that, for once, showed fear. Was he not wanted anymore? Did Zed want to get rid of him, to push him away? Why?

 

"My appointment is a bit later than yours, anyway... I-I want to come with you." The plead stayed in air, as Felix found himself slowly sinking into helplessness. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like this, if he ever had. The man found himself staring into Zed's eyes, the fear of rejection seeping into his bones. He tried to be the best friend he could, was that not enough anymore? Did he get annoying? Did Zed... Did Zed grow tired of him? Questions like that flooded over his brain, and he felt like he was about to scream. Thankfully, he didn't... At least not yet. He could've been seen as overprotective, or even possesive of the other. He blamed it all on the lack of sleep, though.

[vyssini]

No matter how insentient he was, Zed couldn't miss the panic in his friend's voice. 'Ugh..' He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand. It won't work. He knew and kinda expected it. He just thought, he could pull it off today. But he knew he just caused Felix to worry about him more. 'I lost.'

 

"...I'm not a kid you know," he grumbled a bit. His over-reliance with the man couldn't be blamed on him alone. If the man wasn't acting both like a father and a brother at the same time, he wouldn't get too dependent on him. He never really knew why Felix was so concerned about his well being. But over the years that they knew each other, he never had to ask twice if he ever needed help. It was one of the perks of being Felix's friend. Though somewhere along the way, Zed became a little uncomfortable with benefiting too much.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix was too busy trying to calm himself down to hear what Zed muttered afterwards. Instead, he just turned to go to the hospital, his hands pushed into his pockets. He just wanted his friends to be happy. Was it so bad? His own needs weren't as important as helping others, in the end. He himself was made to help people out when they needed him... Even when they didn't ask for his help. He would help everyone, everyone he cared about enough to call his friend. He wanted to be the best friend they could ever have, he needed to know he was as good as he could possibly be - and even that wasn't enough sometimes. He needed to be better than possible, just to make sure no one ever left him.

 

"Come on... Let's not keep the doctor waiting." Felix trailed off, a nervous smile pulling at the corners of his lips as they got closer to the office. Zed seemed to be judging him - by now he couldn't tell if it was the reality or just his perception of him. His eye twitched slightly as he forced himself to stay still. He wouldn't know what to do if Zed left him... No, he wouldn't dare. Not after everything he'd done for him. Zed had to stay. There was no other option... That thought seemed to calm him down at least a little bit, even though his brain was still like a buzzing beehive.

[vyssini]

Zed was unsure what was Felix thinking. The man lost himself in a maze of thoughts and wasn't even listening. He sighed. The man was probably worrying too much as always and so, he let him. Maybe. Maybe he shouldn't try to forcefully distance himself with Felix right away? In the first place.. Was there really a need to? With all these tension and stress licking their boots.. His timing sucked,huh?

 

He nipped at his lower lip, raking his fingers through his hair. Clicking his tongue, he jogged to walk with Felix. When did it change? He wondered. If it was before, seeing the back of his friend made him feel calm and at ease. As if he could go any direction as long as the man himself was leading. But just now, it felt strange. There's no point getting agitated but he couldn't stay still. At the sight of the man's back before him, he felt distress, fear even. When did it start? And why did he suddenly thought about it? He couldn't explain why it seemed like it matter right now. He tried shaking off those disturbing thoughts as they trod to his doctor's office.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix knocked at the doctor's office door before gently pressing down the handle, opening the door. He smiled slightly at the one inside, letting Zed come in first. "He's here to pick up the results from a few days ago... Zed, I'll just... Stay here." He muttered at his friend, carefully leaning against the wall next to the door. Right now he wouldn't leave his friend. Not when there was even the slightest possibility of him leaving somewhere without him.

 

The doctor seemed a little bit confused as to why Felix was here, and tossed a questioning glance at his patient. "Sit down, then. I do have the results..." He began quietly, taking out a scan and some papers out of a drawer. He looked up into Zed's eyes, holding up the scan first. "Your blood test showed some dangerous signs, the main concern being an abnormal blood count. Your scan..." The doctor paused, standing up to put the scan on the window so Zed could see what he was talking about. "See the spot right there? We believe it's a tumor." He said quietly, pointing to a small white spot on the scan.

[vyssini]

He cast a strange look at Felix. The man went all weird. "Doctor Sheppard" He greeted his doctor and occupied a seat. When he noticed where the doctor was looking, he immediately explained. "Um.. He's my friend. Same one who accompanied me last time." He was worried that the doctor wouldn't allow a non-family member to stay by his side but only for a moment. As the man ignored Felix and went to take out some papers out of a drawer. The air around the medical specialist became formal as he started his explanation. 'Not good'

 

Zed knew this was the part where he should be panicking, yelling, kicking and denying the doctor's words. But he just stared dumbly at the scans. His breathing was even but he felt cold chills. His mouth suddenly parched and thirsty as the news was just starting to sink in. He clenched his fist till his knuckles were white to ease the trembling. He gritted his teeth, trying to pull oxygen into his lungs. An invisible weight or something was pushing on his chest. He tried to take long slow breaths to gather more air into his lungs, but found it too hard a task.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix watched the doctor with the same, if not bigger fear than Zed. Once the news were revealed, his eyes went wide, but no sound escaped his lips. Bringing one hand up, Felix gripped onto his hair, feelings tears burn in his eyes. He'd lose Zed after all, wouldn't he? The stress set in all at once as life left his eyes, only leaving the storm raging inside of him. He let his head fall against the wall helplessly, a soft, dull 'thud' coming from the impact.

 

The doctor came back to the table and sat back down, looking at Zed with sympathetic eyes. "We believe what you have is cystic cerebellar astrocytoma. This type of cancer is usually slow-growing, and from the size of it I'd say it's the first grade. You're lucky to have caught it early." The doctor said, tossing a small glance at Felix, as if sensing his distress.

 

"Would you like to discuss the treatment options now, or would you prefer to come back later?" He asked, a small smile appearing on his face, reaching his honest eyes. "I can only explain and suggest the best treatment, however the final decision will be yours."

[vyssini]

"O-kay, so.." He cleared his throat and shoved his hands through his hair. Even forming words was hard. He swore he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, but he concentrated on slowing everything down. Breathe in. Breathe out. And then inhaling again, until he calmed. Closing his eyes, he let the reality dawned upon him. Don't panic. It's fine. He kept repeating this words in his mind, not wanting to cause a scene.

 

He opened his eyes only to see the look in the doctors eyes. What was that? Sympathy? Pity? He didn't like it. He didn't need it. Rather than feeling hopelessness and despair, he felt anger boiling down in his heart. It was just a stupid grade one cancer. Having some Cystic-whatever-it-is didn't make him any less. He wouldn't take this commiseration play lying down. He gritted his teeth and looked straight at his doctor. "Yup, One lucky bastard, that's me." He said spitefully, mocking himself. "I would rather hear everything all at once than delay this talk."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

The doctor displayed his surprise for merely a moment before his expression went back to the usual, collected one. "Very well. With this type of cancer, we usually only observe at the beginning. I'd like for you to come here every week, to make sure the cancer doesn't spread. If it does... Your options are radiation and surgery." The last option was left unsaid, but it was obvious - Zed could decide to not treat the cancer at all.

 

"With surgery, there's a chance we may have to use radiation either way. Sometimes we are not able to remove the whole tumor, so to completely eliminate it we'd have to use such methods as well." As the man continued to go into detail about both options, Felix was trying not to let panic take over his body. Little beads of sweat had formed on his forehead, everything was tensed up and his hands were shaking. Honestly, he didn't know how he wasn't screaming yet... Or how did Zed seem to be handling this better than himself. Zed was the one who had cancer, not him...

[vyssini]

Zed breathed a sigh of frustration. He was well aware he was acting like an ass. He knew the doctor was just doing his job but it didn't really matter to him. Not right now. He just felt like he suddenly lost control of his life. And it didn't sit well with him. His normal routine would be disrupted by doctor visits and treatments.

 

As the doctor started discussing options and choices, his face was blank. Even a hint of his real feelings wasn't allowed to seep out. He managed to rein his emotions and tried hard to listen to the mumbling doctor. Radiation and Surgery. The doctor need not mention the third option. He might not be as smart as Felix but he wasn't a total idiot. He almost scoffed at the tone used but stayed silent. His brain was running each choices laid out before him but to no avail. He couldn't comprehend anything being said. He even forgot the presence of his friend in his deep contemplation.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

The doctor paused continued speaking until he'd explained the options to every detail - each pro and con of either of the treatments. As he got no questions, the man took it upon himself to say as much as possible. He knew it could be shocking to receive such news; although whenever he tossed a glance at Felix, he seemed more confused than when looking at Zed. The latter didn't show any emotion, while his friend looked like he was about to explode.

 

"Is there anything you didn't understand or would like to know better? If you'd like, I can go over the options again after some time, perhaps before your decision, just to make sure you pick what's best for you." The doctor suggested, managing a small smile. Felix seemed to be catching his attention more and more often. The way he was feeling appeared to be casting a certain air all over the room. His worry and fear could almost be tasted.

[vyssini]

Zed put his hands on his pockets and cleared his throat. "I'm honestly... ignorant on these things. I'll have to research about the procedures you we're talking about. That way, I could give you my decision." He directed his gaze at the doctor. "I'll need some time." He managed to said it with a straight face as if discussing some minor deals and not his health. Even he, wanted to applaud and commend himself for stating his mind and speaking clearly. In fact, his hands were shivering. But as he didn't want to be seen as weak, he contained the unease inside his heart.

 

He came knowing and expecting something wrong. He wasn't that clueless. His headache and nausea would beat a woman expecting a child. But it's one thing to know your sick; it's another to hear you have cancer. In all scenarios he imagined these past few days, he truthfully never considered this possibility. How could he not be shaken? If he would describe his feelings right now, it would be.. distraught. He didn't want to trouble F.. Felix!! He looked over his shoulder to his companion who he had forgotten. "Hey..You alright there? You're..." He wanted to say green but he stood instead. "You should sit down." He nipped at his lower lip. This was why he didn't want the man to accompany him. If only he had made a good excuse earlier. But it was too late now. 'Damn.'

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

"Very well, I'll be waiting for you in a week for your scan, then. If you're ready to talk by then, we'll do so, and if not... Just don't take too long. A decision, if you make it at the last minute, will not be a good one." The doctor warned before moving his attention to some documents on the table. "Oh, and please, stop by the infirmary." He called out, holding a piece of paper with the prescription for the medicine. "These will help with your nausea and headaches until you decide on the treatment." He explained simply, managing a small smile.

 

Felix stared at Zed with frightened, wide eyes as he stood, his hands shaking visibly. The man shook his head at the suggestion, swallowing nervously as he grabbed the door handle and walked out the room. "You... I..." Felix couldn't find the right words to say as he was finally outside, covering his face with his hands for a moment. "You should've gone sooner..." He whispered, tears burning his eyes as he pulled his hands away, his breathing erratic, as if he'd been running. "I don't-... Don't think I can... Drive." He nearly panted out, feeling as if he was the one who'd been diagnosed with cancer.

[vyssini]

"Thanks. Will do." Zed received the piece of paper, throwing a peek at the prescription before shoving it in his pocket. If he was trying to contain the trembling of his hands a while ago, he calmed down a bit after seeing Felix's reaction. He couldn't help but bit his lips in guilt. Times like this, where he could feel the extreme care and concern to his well-being, really moved his heart making it more and more difficult to stay away from the guy. Felix had been his anchor preventing him from drifting due to any harsh wind or current. Someone he relied on for strength. But time and time again, he proved that the man's too kind. His heart was built a bit too soft.

 

Zed watched Felix struggled with words. He could feel the emotional turmoil within his friend. The red eyes showed his fear for him, Zed's life. "Hey." Zed buried his fingers to Felix's hair lightly tugging him close so their eyes met. "I might not have a car but I can drive you know?" He smiled which was hard. He never knew smiling to be such a pain. He was sure it never reached his eyes though but he wanted to at least reassure his friend. That everything would be fine. That it would worked out alright in the end. He tried to convince Felix as much as himself but hid his own unease behind the weak smile. "I'll have some meds to pick up from the infirmary. You have an appointment." Seeing that his friend was still shaken he offered an alternative. "...or you can have me to that appointment and go the infirmary on our way back.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Felix flinched slightly when he felt the hand tangled into his hair, looking at Zed with teary eyes. He bit down on his lip, his shoulders shaking slightly as he nodded at the other's words, managing to force out a smile as he gripped onto his hand. The raven was trying to calm himself down when the appointment was mentioned. He froze up again, a small shudder running down his body. He swallowed, suddenly finding his throat extremely dry. "N-no... No, you go and pick up the medicine... I... This shouldn't take long..." He trailed off, forcing himself to let go. As he took a step back, Felix wiped at his eye, brushing away the tears that had formed.

 

"Just... Don't leave." He asked quietly, hands still shaking. Honestly, he couldn't believe this was real, he still hoped it was a nightmare. He couldn't bear the thought of Zed leaving him. He'd always had problems with people leaving him, although there were times he got irrationally angry at them, too, for a minor mistake. Felix always had the worldview of everything being either black or white... Especially the people in his life. They were either praised and loved immensely or hated and despised completely.