~Speak Silently~ ((Pandamonium and Alexia))

[pandamonium]

Hotaka immediately regretted what he said. Clutching his bento, he sighed. He should've known better than to assume that Kazue was just hanging out with him because he felt an obligation. As he packed his thing, he looked over at the unopened can. He sighed. Taking it and slipping it in his bag. He felt horribly guilty for snapping at him, but he couldn't take back the words once they've been said. Bur he could try to ask for forgiveness and apologize. Maybe he could look for him after school.

I've made up my mind...I'm going to speak to him after school. Even if he'd rather not see my face.

[alexia__]

The rest of the day Kazue spent it in the school's clinic.

The small room had been close since the nurse was out but he knew a few tricks here and there. Obviously he his in one of the beds at the end and feel asleep.

His sleep was interrupted by the ringing of the afternoon bell, he slightly jumped up in confusion and came back to his senses.

"How quick" he says straightening up and putting his shoes back on. Between the problems at home and now Hotaka, Kazue was far more than depressed.

He opened the door slightly and checked for people, once no one was there he headed out. The courtyard and before he could leave the school he remembered the afternoon lesson he missed and the homework.

Quickly he headed back upstairs to the class.

[pandamonium]

Hotaka impatiently waited for the last bell to ring. A need to see Kazue was overwhelming him. Every now and then, he'd stop himself from daydreaming just to focus on the lesson. By the end of the class, he was confused of the lesson, but didn't care. His top priority was Kazue. He quickly packed his things and ran to the front of the school, forgetting to take off his slippers and slip on his shoes.

 

Panting heavily, he waited for Kazue, he watched some of his fellow classmates give him strange looks, but he didn't care. He hoped he hadn't missed him. He didn't have Kazue's address, let alone his phone number.

[alexia__]

Quickly enough he gathered all the material needed and left. He had left the main building when he noticed a familiar head, full of lively curls and tan skin.

He froze in place and hesitated " Hotaka" he called lightly but choked and the sounds did not come out

"H-Hotaka!" Calls Kazue this time not afraid to gain attention.

Since the short time he had known Hotaka many things had changed. Starting from his attitude, to kazues own thinking, everything was a new him.

He shyly smiled, and waved

'Was he waiting for me?' Kazue asked himself before blushing madly.

[pandamonium]

Hotaka snapped towards where his name being called. He saw Kazue. Feeling his heart skip a leap. He grinned and ran towards him.

"Kazue! I'm so happy to see you!"

Running towards him like a force, he hugged him tightly.

"I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I should've known better than to think you didn't want to be my friend. I'm really sorry. What can I do so you could forgive me?"

[alexia__]

'There it is again' though Kazue as he was hugged by the other, feeling the large arms wrap his smaller body all over.

His eyes closed and he drowned in every tingling feeling he felt, not letting anything distract him.

"H-Ho-" he was about to say everything was alright until he heard the next words.

'What you can do?' Kazue was so surprised at this that he looked up for a second just to make sure he had heard correctly.

 

"B-be with me, forever and protect me" he replies "in return I'll do the same" his cheeks burned brightly as he said this not afraid at least of what happened next. He knew, for a fact, that Hotaka was....special.

[pandamonium]

Hotaka was taken by surprised. His heart was beating wildly. Giving a nod of agreement, he smiled.

"Yeah...I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you. Just...let me know whenever you're about to get hurt, so I can prtect you. I really do care for you...and I want to help you in anyway I can."

He had a slight blush on his tan features as he kept his eyes fixed on Kazue.

[alexia__]

Their locked for some time and a sense of intimacy could be felt around them. Despite all the hardships and dark days Kazue found himself happier than he'd ever been.

"L-let's exchange numbers" he says reaching for his phone. He had been meaning to ask the other

for this but had always been too shy, now he was a bit more optimistic.

[pandamonium]

"I've actually been meaning to ask you for your number, but I kept forgetting. Sorry."

He pulled out his phone. Grinning excitedly. This made the friendship official.

"Here's my number."

He held it out for Kazue to see it.

[alexia__]

That night Kazue laid flat on his stomach looking down at his screen. A pillow was tightly hugged under his chest and his hands fidgeted with the phone.

'Should I message him' he asks himself but then wonders what they would even talk about. With a small sigh he closes the phone and looks around the room.

His cheek still felt sore from the other night but now it was nothing but a miniature bruise. Despite that he knew things weren't going well, those two had been fighting for a long time down stairs and he was afraid to run down and get food.

Kazue popped open his phone one more time and read the others information.

"Okay" he murmurs and begins typing.

 

How's your evening? was the message simple enough.

[pandamonium]

Hotaka was washing the dishes after dinner, when he heard his phone vibrate on the kitchen table.

"Huh...that's weird. Another spam mail?"

He turned around and picked up his phone, it was Kazue! Letting out a happy chuckle, he quickly responded.

Hey! It's great hearing from you! I'm doing alright, just finished washing the dishes. How are you doing? Is everything alright?

He hurried to his bedroom. His mother came out of the bathroom.

"You can shower now. I'm going to bed. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, ma."

He was nervously awaiting for Kazue to return the message.

[alexia__]

He smiled like a child when a reply arrived, and faster than expected as well.

Quickly Kazue begins to type away

You had dinner? Yum nothing much now just in my room the nights a bit boring today. Are you not going to sleep soon?

The questions felt a bit intimate but by now Kazue knew their relationship was touching other borders, that much was obvious.

From downstairs came a loud slam and the house went quiet.

'So they left' he tells himself before double checking and going down for food.

[pandamonium]

Collapsing on his bed, another message came in. Reading over it, before returning the message.

Not right now. I have to bathe and finish my homework, so if you're not going to bed...we should continue texting!

He sent the message, afraid of coming across as too forward. He wanted to talk with Kazue all night if possible. Every time he sent a message, it made his heart beat wildly.

[alexia__]

Kazue prepared two small sandwiches and took them up to his room, with that he ate them and continued to message Hotaka

He felt a bit daring asking what he did but couldn't help it Perhaps we should call each other instead? I can help with you homework!

He had an anxious feeling that the other would say know but he remained positive throughout

[pandamonium]

Absentmindedly scanning his textbook, as he nervously awaited another text. His phone buzzed, causing him to jump from surprise. Letting out a breathy chuckle, he read the message. His heart began to beat in an almost painful way. Getting a chance to hear Kazue? Who wouldn't take advantage of that! He nervously texted back.

Sure! I'm currently doing math. I don't need help with that, but Japanese literature would be a big help. It's a bit difficult...just let me take a quick bath, before that! I'll be quick!

He hated having to stop, but he'd rather get a chance to calm his nerves before then.

[alexia__]

Kazue gave a million thanks and then replied

That's fine I'll be here waiting his grade in Japanese literature was above perfect, if anything, never dropped more than two points and he actually knew what was happening in the class.

"I'm so glad I'm not an idiot" he tells himself with a childish laugh before blushing.

 

It was obvious now, to Kazue, that he was dead crazy for Hotaka and given a chance to interact with the other, he would take it like water in a desert.

[pandamonium]

Thank you! I appreciate the help. I'll be back as soon as possible.

Setting his phone on his desk, he hurried to the bathroom. Taking a quick shower, he excitedly awaited a chance to continue his talk with Kazue. He admired the boy, he was most likely the top in his class. He couldn't call himself stupid, but certain things weren't his strong suit.

 

After finishing his shower, he hurried to his room and texted Kazue, quickly.

I'm back! So about the Japanese literature...you wouldn't mind helping me, would you?

[alexia__]

Kazue looked at his phone and the message.

'Well there's no use in texting back... I'll just call'

He felt his nervous heart skip a beat as his thumb moved over the call option. He dragged it to his ear and listened to the ringing.

The textbook was in front of him and he played with the corner of the pages

"H-hello?" he says once the ringing stops

[pandamonium]

Hotaka was surprised to have his phone vibrate in his hands from an income call. Snapping out of his daze, he quickly answered.

"H-hey! What's up? This isn't a bad time is it? So, um, we have to read this story by Jun'ichiro Tanizaki...it's about some tattoo artist...I'm confused. Like why did he tattoo that spider on the girl's back? Just sort of confused. It seems painful. I don't like it. I'm scared for the girl. She just...changed after getting it. It scared me."

He was flipping through the book, searching for the story.

[alexia__]

Kazue chuckled slightly at the sudden burst of words from Hotaka, making him relax since it seemed he wasn't the only one that was nervous.

"I know which one you're talking about" he says remembering the conclusions about the story the teacher had made.

"I can explain it for you like this. Sometimes we, as people, find ways to release our inner ways and thoughts. The girls sudden change was not due to the tattoo itself but from within. The tattoo is a literary symbol to represent her on coming into a more different appearance and way. Overall this is how she was all along, yet she hid it"

Kazue breathed for a second after explaining.

In a way the story was more confusing than not, but this was the message that we hold ourselves back unless there's something to change us.

"Do you see it now?"

[pandamonium]

Hotaka gave a hum. "I guess? I mean...so she wasn't so shy and innocent from the start? I know that people aren't what they appear. That we, as people, have different personalities that we show to different people...but...I still find it rather...sad. It's like you feel you can't show someone all of you. Only the front, never the core. Oh! I'm sorry, I droned on and on."

Laughing nervously, he began to write down what Kazue had told him.

[alexia__]

"No no..." Quickly says Kazue "I was rather enjoying your explanation" in truth it seemed Hotaka saw more than he gave himself credit for. Smiling into the phone Kazue showed him different ways to find the hidden idea behind such stories, and to not doubt himself he was not likely right.

 

"This is fun!" He adds in once he's finished "it's been a long time since I've helped anyone on their homework"

[pandamonium]

Listening intently to Kazue, he brought into consideration what Kazue said about his doubts.

"I am enjoying our talking a lot! Do you still have a lot of homework to finish? I don't want to keep you if you do."

He murmured, beginning on his history homework. He enjoyed the class. Learning about the past, even though he'd like to learn more about his father's homeland. It began to sadden him, shaking his thoughts away and focusing his all on Kazue.

[alexia__]

"No" he replies a small smile forming on his lips "I don't have anymore"

For all the concerned Kazue he was better interested in talking to Hotaka. That night the conversation pulled through it moved back and forth, and Kazue almost got a hit of a different Hotaka.

He wondered how the other would show different sides in the future. And that lightened his mood.

 

It didn't take long for the mood to carry on and Kazue feel asleep still in the phone but murmuring his answers like a tired kid who just wanted to close his eyes.

 

His parents did not return that night. The next morning he caught a glimpse of Hotaka in the schools hallway making Kazue turn a bright red before speed walking away.

[pandamonium]

As Hotaka finished his history assignment, he heard faint, rhythmic breathing on the line. He smiled. Apparently Kazue had fallen asleep midway through their conversation. He hung up his phone, finishing one last question. Putting all his homework and books into his book bag, he took a gander at the digital clock near his bed. It was rather late in the night. Getting up to do his nightly routine. Returning into his room, he plopped down on his bed. He felt exhausted, but light. With a smile he promptly feel asleep.

 

The next morning, he awoke at his usual time. Getting things ready for school. Dashing out of his room, he excitedly arrived at school. Out of breathe, but anxious to see Kazue. He looked around the hallway. For s minute there, he thought he had seen Kazue. Unfortunately the bell rang and he headed to class.