Winter's Delight(In need of older Seme.)

[Sosuke0549]

Jun smiled softly and hung up. Yes...Dyanli loved him... But he deserved so much better. He had to end things eventually... before the other got to attached to him.. that he'd go insane before letting go.

He had fears. If Dyanli knew the truth...and Jun let all of his lies surface...Dyanli would probably hate him. But if they suddenly broke up... Would Dyanli hurt himself like last time? Would he kill himself even?

Jun wouldn't be able to live with himself if Dyanli committed suicide.

What was he to do?

And then it hit him! He'd make Dyanli be the one to end things....

------------------------------------------------

"That's him, 11:10 on the dot.. you need back up?"

"Just keep the car running. "

He said darkly as he got out with a crow bar in his hand. He glared at the man who quickly stopped walking when Jun appeared in his path.

" Kira Suzuki...I'm here to pay you back. "

His mask hid his entire face as he gripped the crow bar tighter.

"W-who are you? W-What are you?!-"

He grinned behind his mask. Running up to hit the man. Kira went down to the ground in seconds. Jun began to kick him while he was down, occasionally using the bar to hit the male. Finally he stepped on the man's hand, his face bloody and swollen.

"There was a young man you use to beat and rape... consider the hell you gave him, returned. "

And he smashed Kira Suzuki hand with his foot making him scream and grown. Threw the entire beating. The other was bleeding for his life, begging him to stop and crying.

YES! Cry! Cry for hurting Dyanli!

 

A fucked up face, a few broken ribs, nasty gashs and a shattered hand was nothing compared to what Jun could of done.

 

Jun ran back to the car to escape the awful crime he just committed. His heart was pounding. He had forgotten how exhilarating it was! How thrilling and good it felt to lash out! It was like being a teenager again.

"Is he dead. "

"No...I held back..."

"Same old Jun...your too nice~ "

"Call 911, and let them know he'll need medical attention..."

He muttered looking out the window. He didn't feel bad or sad... he didn't regret what he did, he didn't even care that he broke his promise to Dyanli and went after Kira Suzuki.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

That night was simply quite without Jun there. As Dylani laid in bed he couldn't help but to wonder about Jun. The past few days his older lover seemed so distant.There was no clear reason why, but he felt like Jun was hiding something. Sure thr older man kept to himself for most of the time,and he didn't want to push it.But this was getting more and more troubling." I wonder if he even trusts me..." he said to himself." When he comes back,I want to talk about this.I want him to know that he can trust me..." Dylani tried to rest after that,curling up tightly as if Jun was actually there.

[Sosuke0549]

{ Two days later }

"I'm home."

He called out to Dyanli as he entered there shared apartment. It was almost 12 in the afternoon.

"Did you miss me? "

He grinned a little. He was a good actor, pretending like nothing had happened. When he saw Dylani he pulled him close and kissed his lips softly.

"I'm so tired.. "

He muttered, smelling like cigarettes and beer.

He tossed himself on the couch, throwing his head back and groaning.

"You wanna watch a movie? '

[JR_TheRandomFan]

When Jun came back home two days later the blonde trap seemed to look very drained. When he was pulled into a kiss by Jun he barely kissed back."It's good to see you too Jun. I'm sorry that you're ride was rough, but I need to talk you about something. It's been bothering me since you left." Settling in next to his lover Dylani ran a hand through his hair before attempting to speak again."Recently I feel that you've become distant. There's something that you're not telling me...And it's been building for so long. Don't you trust me enough to share this? I know that it might seem like it,but I can handle whatever you tell me. Please Jun...let me help you ease your burdens.."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun glanced at his boyfriend, He seemed...kind of tried as well.

"It's good to see you too Jun. I'm sorry that you're ride was rough, but I need to talk you about something. It's been bothering me since you left." [/Quote]

Jun sighed.

"And what's that? "

He asked, as the other sat next to him, the younger male ran his hand through his hair, as if trying to reassure him.

"Recently I feel that you've become distant. There's something that you're not telling me...And it's been building for so long. Don't you trust me enough to share this? I know that it might seem like it,but I can handle whatever you tell me. Please Jun...let me help you ease your burdens.."[/Quote]

Jun's eyes widened slightly, but only for a moment. He looked away from Dyanli.

"What are you talking about? "

He laughed a little.

"You know, you worry to much. I'm always honest with you"

Lier! ..it hurt to lie to Dyanli. He quickly tried to change the subject.

"How about that movie? "

 

What was he doing? This was a chance to tell the truth to Dyanli and yet...he was to afraid! He just wanted to run away from the conversation.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Glancing at his lover once more he could see that he was lying. It hurt him that Jun honestly couldn't trust him." You're not looking at me,and you're trying to change the subject. I hate it that you're like this,I really do. Jun please...Please find someway to trust me. You don't have any reason not to,as I with you. No matter what you say, it won't stop me from loving you."To assure his lover the blonde trap quickly wrapped around his waist to hug him.

[Sosuke0549]

" You're not looking at me,and you're trying to change the subject. I hate it that you're like this,I really do. [/Quote]

Jun bit his lip. Hate....?

"Jun please...Please find someway to trust me. You don't have any reason not to,as I with you. No matter what you say, it won't stop me from loving you."[/Quote]

His eyes fell. He trusted him... But.. he hated sharing his past. How would he react...if he knew everything. Dyanli suddenly hugged him,.making it harder for him go decide. Should he lie again....or...come clean?

"Dyanli... the truth is..."

What do I do? I... I can't tell him.. my past.. I don't want him knowing! I don't want him in any danger. I'm filthy and he's so pure! I can't...I can't...

"I'm not happy any more. "

His voice became dull and broken.

"I want this to end. I want us to break up. I've been seeing other people...behind your back. "

He said flatly. Another lie... he had to do this...Because Dyanli deserved better. He needed the other to leave him.... because he couldn't bare telling him the truth...

"I'm sorry..."

He muttered looking at the ground, he wouldn't cry...not yet.. he waited for Dyanli's tears... or a nice hard slap across the face. He waited...and waited for a reaction...

 

He had never once cheated on Dyanli He loved Him and cared about him far too much...

But if he had to lie to save Dyanli from himself...then he would.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

When Jun told him that he was cheating on him Dylani at first did not know what to do. At first he did not believe it. What they did days before,that's what he wanted wasn't it? He took it him so roughly that he bled,and yet he tells him this. It just couldn't be understood,not to him."You really must want to keep those secrets,to lie about something like that." Slowly the blonde pulled himself up and turned away from Jun." Well, I suppose those secrets are more important to you than me, than the both of us..."Sniffling soft the blonde trap kept speaking, keeping his eyes away from Jun."I guess this is where we'll part. I'll be out of here in an hour. I'm so sorry that you can't trust me." Before his older lover could say anything the trap moved to the bedroom to pack his things.

[Sosuke0549]

He waited for a punishment...

"You really must want to keep those secrets,to lie about something like that."[/Quote]

Inside his entire body shook, his eyes wide. He knew?! He knew he was lying again! Never could anyone tell his lies from the truth! Never...and yet...Dyanli...

Hate me... yell at me... hit me! Dyanli!

 

Slowly the blonde moved away from him. The others warmth was gone..

' Well, I suppose those secrets are more important to you than me, than the both of us..."[/Quote]

No! Yes! I.. I don't know! This is killing me Dyanli...!

He didn't say a word. He wanted too.. but what could He say! He heard Dyanli's sniffling, but he couldn't meet his gaze.

"I guess this is where we'll part. I'll be out of here in an hour. I'm so sorry that you can't trust me." [/Quote]

I DO! I do trust you!! I do!!

He clenched his hands into fists, struggling to hold back his thoughts! Struggling to shut his mouth. When Dyanli left to go up stairs, it took everything in him not to chase him.

DAMN IT!... DAMN IT. DAMN IT.DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!

He kept telling himself that this was for the best...and yet...he wasn't prepared for how emotional he was getting. He thought he could handle this but every second he was cracking.

Cracking under the pressure.

 

He honestly didn't know what to do. Does he let Dyanli go.. have someone better..? Or does he...Confess.

"FUCK! "

He screamed, and before he knew it, his fist went into the closest wall near him. Blood quickly brushed from his knuckles, this pain...was nothing compared to what was happening to his heart.

 

He leaned against the apartment door... this was the only thing that blocked Dyanli's path... so he'd block it too. His hair fell in his face, hiding the tears that escaped, but you could see those streaks of salt water dripping from his chin.

He wasn't strong enough to let Dyanli go...

He wouldn't let him walk out the door, he refused. He had to tell him.... the truth...

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"FUCK!"

Dylani almost dropped his bag when he heard that. Surely Jun had hit something in the process, hurt and angry,for what, he was not sure. It couldn't be because of him,not with that he said, with what he was trying to keep away. But he should be glad that he's leaving. He had another lover,or so he kept saying.

 

It wasn't long for the trap to come down with a bag in his hand,glancing over his older lover with a rather shiftless expression. The tears down his cheeks, his bleeding fist as he leaned against the front door. Did he really want him to leave or not? It was just so confusing.Placing his bag near the step he came to Jun and held his bleeding hand."And here I thought you wouldn't stop me leaving...you seemed so sure to let me go. I only hope that with this you might be able to trust me...Jun,I meant what I said. I love you, and nothing can change that. Let me help you,and fix your hand." Pulling his other hand Dylani lead Jun to the kitchen, looking back every once in awhile before letting his hand go.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun heard the others foot steps but didn't move nor could He meet his eyes. He kept his head down and his hair in his eyes as if he could hide himself.

Dyanli placed his bag near the step, coming up to him, and to his surprise he held his bleeding hand.

"D...Dyl--"

"And here I thought you wouldn't stop me leaving...you seemed so sure to let me go. I only hope that with this you might be able to trust me...Jun,I meant what I said. I love you, and nothing can change that. Let me help you,and fix your hand." [/Quote]

He hesitated, staying close to the door, but Dyanli pulled on his hand trying to take him to the kitchen, but he didn't move.

"I lied. "

He said softly.

"I lied since the day we started dating. "

He kept his distance away from the other.

"My..My..book..Its mostly a erotic novel about you. About us and our relationship, Even my past. I... I never told you because I thought you'd hate Me, the real me. I was in a gang for a little over three years, I led the whole group and I did terrible things. I was always getting into trouble, even in high school! My.. My mom died giving birth to me and my father was a useless drunk who often liked to hit Me, he put me in foster care when I was 6. I don't wanna tell you all I did in that gang but... I'm a horrible person! "

He fell to his knees.

"I lied! I never actually cheated on you But, I almost did! I was so close but I... I just couldn't do it. And I... I didn't go to a book meeting out of town! I broke my promise to you.. I... I went after Kira Suzuki! He's in the hospital... I attacked him for what he did to you! THAT'S EVERYTHING ! I'm sorry! I tried .. I'm trying to be want you want. I lied because you deserve better.. I can't be what you want... I can't...!"

He covered his face as he silently cried. He didn't care that he was getting blood everywhere. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted Dyanli to hate him... because he didn't deserve his love or forgiveness or compassion.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

The hard stance that Jun held at that door was rather surprising. But what really surprised the trap were the words that came from his mouth. The truth about his past, how he was a troubled youth, turned to gangs. How his book came to be erotic fiction about himself and their relationship. And the fact that his older lover went back on his promise and hurt Kira. It just seemed like a base to truly hate Jun,but Dylani couldn't bring himself to do it. Sure he lied,but seeing his older lover break down on his knees,to know that the reason that he dis all of this only to be something that he thought that he deserved. It just made his heart swell in sadness, and love. Slowly Dylani came to Jun's side and got on his knees as well, wrapping his arms around his waist in a hopefully comforting embrace."Jun...Don't you know that you already are what you should be?I love it that you're trying,that you want the best for me.But you being you is the best for me. I'm surprised that you came from such a broken home, that you were in a gang.But all of that is in the past.All of that I know is not the Jun I know.You've been sweet, protecting,understanding,and miles better than Kira ever has.I wouldn't think anyone could do this for someone like me,but here you are..." Dylani sniffed softly before pulling Jun's hands away to look at him."I can forgive you for almost cheating on me,on breaking your promise. I only want you to be honest with me and keep being your charming,sweet self.We both have things to work on for ourselves. Let's see if we can work on them together Jun..."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun listened and he felt like a great burden was lifted off his shoulders. Dyanli forgave him...

 

Jun quickly whipped his tears away feeling weak when ever he cried. He hated crying and didn't want Dyanli seeing him so...vulnerable.

"..okay.."

He muttered, looking down at his bleeding hand it was throbbing in pain and still gushing out blood.

"............."

He wasn't sure what to say any more. But he was kind of glad that he stopped Dyanli...hopefully everything was going to be ok now. Perhaps the two weren't perfect, But maybe together. They could be.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani gave a weak smile before glancing at his lover's hand."Oh, hold on tight.I'll see what I can do with your hand.I think that I still have a first-aid kit in the kitchen."Pulling himself up on the floor the trap moved back to the kitchen in search for the kit. He couldn't believe that Jun could break down in such a way.He couldn't really blame him. He held in so much, for too long.Coming back with the kit Dylani took Jun's hand and began to clean and bandage the wound.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun stayed where he was as Dyanli got the first aid kit. He only flinched a little feeling the sting of alcohol to clean his wound, but after he was fine. But his expression was dark...empty...dull.

He closed his eyes, resting his head against the door.

He was relieved...and yet exhausted.

Once Dyanli was finished he slowly stood.

"Thank you.,"

He muttered. He still kept his gaze from the other. Finally feeling bad for all the secrets he had kept.

"I'm going to bed."

He said as he headed for their room.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

When Jun told him about going to bed early the trap gave a single nod before giving him a soft kiss on his cheek." Okay dear, I'll stay down here and go a few things....You can call me if you need anything." Dylani couldn't help but to look back at him as he packed up his first-aid kit before moving to the kitchen. He would figure that his older lover would need some time to himself. It only seemed to make the most sense to let Jun rest on his own.

[Sosuke0549]

Once Jun hit the bed it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. He was selfish to keep Dyanli..He knew that. But...after all the wrong he did.. didn't he deserve something good? He fell for Dyanli because the other male was everything he was not. He didn't represent anything from his past, so it was much easier to feel safe with him. To feel wanted.

 

Jun woke up much later that day, around 8. Now he'd have his days and nights mixed up but he didn't care. He sat up and heading out of the room, and going down stairs hungry.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

The night seemed like any other night. Dylani figured that Jun would come down for food soon, so he decided to get cooking.Humming to himself he did not notice his older lover come in at first."I hope Jun will like this..."he told himself."Breakfast fot dinner should do him a little good.I'll help him if I need to.I love him so much..."

[Sosuke0549]

"Talking to yourself? "

He muttered, with a small grin as he came up behind his love while he was cooking to surprise him.

His arms wrapped around his waist and he barred himself in Dyanli's neck.

"..I love you too."

He mumbled, taking a moment just to hold the other male.

What was next for them? Who could say...

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Turing off the stovetop Dylani couldn't help but to smile at him before planting a kiss on his cheek."I'm glad to see you up and about.I made pancakes and bacon.I can make coffee too if you like."The trap handed him his plate before planting another kiss on his cheek.

[Sosuke0549]

"Looks good"

He said letting Dyanli go. He frowned a little when the other kissed him on his cheek twice.

"You know, my lips are here"

He smirked. Taking the others chin and forcing him into a kiss on the lips. His lips were soft and tender, the kiss long and slow.

"...much better.."

He headed to the table and took a seat to eat.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Gasping into the kiss the trap had to hold on to the counter behind him to keep himself up.The kiss felt so sweet,so caring than any other kiss the two shared.It was a truly welcoming change.When Jun pulled away,Dylani softly bit into his lip before grabbing a glass and moving to the fridge to grab himself a drink.

[Sosuke0549]

It didn't take long for Jun to eat his breakfast. He practically swallowed it all, since he was so hungry. He sighed after eating, chugging down the rest of his water.

"That was good"

He stretched, cracking his neck. He grinned when he sees his love.

"Thank you."

He muttered, reaching out to pinch at the others behind as a joke.

"I'm going to stay up late to do some writing but if you want We can watch a movie..or talk before I do.."

He shrugged, moving to the couch.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Squealing softly the blonde trap glanced back to Jun with a weak smile."Cheeky..." He mumbled softly before placing his glass down. It truly seemed like his lover was becoming more like his old self. His worry for him finally gone. When asked if he would like to spend some time together before the older man went off to write Dylani quickly joined him on the couch and gave a nod."I wouldn't mind a good movie right now. We haven't cuddled proper since you've came back. I can't wait any longer."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun was trying to act like everything was ok. Like what just happened never happened, as if he could take a nap and all his troubles would be gone. It was easy to lie... he was great at it.. But it seemed that the more He lied to Dyanli the more conflicted he became. Dyanli quickly followed after him to the couch, looking happy.

"I wouldn't mind a good movie right now. We haven't cuddled proper since you've came back. I can't wait any longer."[/Quote]

"..yeah... I guess your right. "

He shrugged, laying back.

"Pick whatever you want.."

He was honestly too busy thinking about his thoughts and work, He had no intention of actually paying attention to the movie. But Dyanli would be close to him.. so it was worth it.

 

The same hands that beat Dyanli's ex to a bloody pulp, were now holing Dyanli tenderly. As if they were pure and clean.