Winter's Delight(In need of older Seme.)

[Sosuke0549]

Jun slowly sat next to him, intertwining his hands together as he bit his lip. The atmosphere getting serious.

"I don't know.. you tell me...I'm listening. "

He said looking at him. Why did Dyanli behave the way he did last night. Why hurt yourself? Why wasn't he upset with him? Why...not just communicate with him? He didn't understand. Everything was so great before... so what happened? Didn't he love him? Didn't he trust him?

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani brought his knees to his chest and let a sigh passed through his lips." I guess that I've been hiding a lot from you. I'm not use to have someone to share my problems. I couldn't share such things with you. I-I don't trust myself to share something that is about me." His eyes slightly duller even more as he spoke to his lover. He was willing to share all that Jun wanted to know. He only needed to ask." All that time ago...All that abuse and tale of me being a failure. I don't want to fail anyone,including you. When you left yesterday,I felt like I failed you and snapped..."

[Sosuke0549]

" I guess that I've been hiding a lot from you. I'm not use to have someone to share my problems. I couldn't share such things with you. I-I don't trust myself to share something that is about me." [/Quote]

"If that's true then why are we together? A relationship is built on trust. You have to tell me things for this to work."

" All that time ago...All that abuse and tale of me being a failure. I don't want to fail anyone,including you. When you left yesterday,I felt like I failed you and snapped..."[/Quote]

Jun remembered the other telling him about his past relationships, and the abuse.. but he didn't even realize how bad it was...

Jun faced the other and with out the others consent, grabbed him and forced him onto his lap.

"First of all, don't sit like that, your physically closing yourself off to me.. "

He sighed, taking the others hands and comforting him. Holding them tenderly.

"Dylani...listen to me.. You are not perfect...and you will never be perfect. Everyone succeeds and everyone fails... You can't beat yourself up just because you failed. It's ok to make mistakes, you hold yourself to such high standards that you can't always meet them... I don't intend to hurt you...You have someone to talk to now.. you have me. I'm your friend.. I'm here to listen to you. There's a reason I fell for you the moment I saw you in that cafe.."

He gently tucked some stray strains of hair behind the others ear, looking at him lovingly..

"I saw this..shy..scared..beautiful waiter. Who had buries on his body and such sad eyes, but you had the cutest laugh I ever heard and that smile you gave me.. I couldn't forget.. I knew I could treat you better...I just.. had to have you~"

He gave the other a small smile, his eyes falling.

"Love yourself Dylani... just as much as I do.... is there anything else you want to tell me?"

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Love yourself Dylani...just as much as I do...is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Retelling the day that they first met was something he could only say was heart melting. The blonde let a single tear run down his cheek,simply enjoying being so close to Jun again." I missed your gentle touches...I want to see myself in your eyes. I will try to love myself. Just keep loving me. It will keep me going..."

 

Dylani felt like he could trust the man in front of him. He felt that he couldn't hide his problems,or fears any longer. It was about time he told Jun about the relationship he had before he even met him." I know that talking about my exes isn't something I don't fully into,but I have to get this off my chest. I want you to know that I trust you with this...I've never fully told anyone about my last relationship,before I even met you. I want you to know that my talk of me being drugged and tied up was not some insane babble." He squeezed his lover's hands and breathed a calming sigh." I won't tell you unless you want to know the whole thing. This will be difficult for me,but please...tell me that you want me to go on."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun saw the tear Dylani cried and quickly licked his away with his warm, wet tongue. Cupping the others cheek.

" I missed your gentle touches...I want to see myself in your eyes. I will try to love myself. Just keep loving me. It will keep me going..."[/Quote]

"I couldn't even stop if I wanted to."

He smiled softly at him, however inside he was ragging on himself. He was such a hypocrite! There were things he was hiding from Dylani, things he hadn't told him yet.

" I know that talking about my exes isn't something I don't fully into,but I have to get this off my chest. I want you to know that I trust you with this...I've never fully told anyone about my last relationship,before I even met you. I want you to know that my talk of me being drugged and tied up was not some insane babble." [/Quote]

He squeezed his hand, Jun looked at him seriously.

"I'm listening. "

"I won't tell you unless you want to know the whole thing. This will be difficult for me,but please...tell me that you want me to go on."[/Quote]

"I'm listening...tell me..your not alone anymore."

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"I'm listening...tell me...you're not alone anymore..."

Those few words were just the sweetest he could ever hear. There was a reason why he fell for this man in the first place. Such a caring,protecting man. Jun was just someone he couldn't even lose. He coydont even know life without him. With a rather hitched breath, Dylani looked up to his lover and squeezed his hand.

 

"In my life,I can say that I have not made the best decisions." He softly began." Some lovers were either too embarrassed to be even seen with me,or had other motives. Motives that held no emotion,and just try to boost their own fragile egos by taking down someone much weaker than them,someone that looks like me." As he spoke he held on to Jun's hand,as if he was fearful of letting him go. He had to hold on to something as a reminder that he was still with him, that he wasn't in such dark quarters." Almost a year ago,someone else wandered into that café. He was a handsome man,tall,well groomed,a great dresser, and just one of the sweetest men I've met."

 

For a moment the blonde's eye slightly shattered. He was trying his best to keep his emotion in check,but the farther he went, harder it became." At first,it seemed the relationship would last for some time. He took me out. He bought me all kinds of gifts. Everyday,he would come around the café and deliver the sweetest smelling flowers. So sweet,and so beautiful. It couldn't get better. Then one night,we were staying in his home and started to kiss. Let's just say that it had gotten rather heated,rather fast. When he reached for my crotch,I pushed him away. As soon as I did that,things just broke into pieces. He yelled at me, beating into me and scratching me. I remember hearing those exact words so clearly,even now.' You will not deny me, you enfeminine prick! You owe me!' I was so scared,so much running through my mind...."

 

Dylani stopped talking for a moment and sniffed. The tears came down his cheeks once more,causing his cheeks to burn a bright pink."I tried to run,to get away. But he was stronger and pulled me back. He was still beating into me and dragging me to a room somewhere in his house. I remember bring stripped naked. My wrists and ankles tied up and spread. All of me was open to him. I only looked to the worst. He circled around me with a long cord in his hand,cracking it in the air every once in awhile. He told me that I should be punished for denying what he wanted,that I should pay for what I did... He came and whipped me,biting,spitting at me with each blow. Once he was done he dropped me on the floor and let me bleed on they cold floor,only whispering to me,' You never deny me...you will get punished.'

 

At the last word the blonde finch,holding on to his wrist as if he was being whipped there." All that time,anytime I crossed him. I wound up being beaten. My co workers tried to help,but I pushed away. I told myself that it was all my fault,that I shouldn't have crossed him. I believed that I deserved every single beating I got. I served him and tried to make him happy. Then one night I remember drinking, and passing out. Next thing I knew I was tied up and naked agai. He...He had another guy,and they were..." He stopped after that,wiping away hid tears." You had me a few days after. And then...Its all downhill from there."

[Sosuke0549]

After hearing this Jun wanted to go kill the bastard who hurt Dylani. The boy was so sweet, innocent and pure.. he was such a easy target for the stranger, but Dylani didn't deserve any of that pain...

"..I'm sorry."

He whispered. He brought the boy to his chest holding him tightly until he calmed down a little.

"Give me a name..tell who it was."

His voice suddenly changing. His caring voice becoming serious.

Jun felt kind of bad that he hadn't come clean about what he's been up too. About his past and about his book...He wasn't being completely honest with Dylani.

"I just wanna know his name.. "

He muttered. He was going to find this guy.. and kick his ass, with or with out Dylani's approval.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

For a moment the blonde was reluctant to tell Jun his ex's name. Sure it would complete all that he needed to tell,but he just felt like his liver would do something to get in trouble. But he trusted Jun. he knew that he would respect his wishes and just leave him be." His name was Kira Suzuki. I don't recall where is he is now,but Jun promise that you won't go after him. I don't want to lose you. Please..." He nuzzled himself under his chin as if he was in fear of Jun disappearing.

[Sosuke0549]

As soon as Jun heard Dylani say his name, He was ready to go find the man, but when Dylani suddenly told him not to go after him He flinched biting his lip. His lover nuzzled himself under his chin, being cute. Dylani wanted him to promise....

 

Jun looked away.

"But..... tch--"

He let out a frustrated sighed, not wanting to promise the other that. He didn't like making promises that he may not keep. He was upset now... upset how this man treated Dylani. Upset that he hurt his lover, He deserved to get his ass kicked.

"..whatever. "

He muttered, his eyes down, He gently held the other pulling him close. All that matter now at least.. was that Dylani was safe with him.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"Thank you,Jun. I know you want to go out for revenge,but I-I just don't want you to get hurt...I-I wouldn't forgive myself if you got hurt because of me..." Dylani went silent after that. It was draining to talk about that dark part of his life. Being in Jun's arms made him calm,warm,and just greatful that he could move away from it. The blonde broke his silence after a few moment and looked up to his lover." I feel a little better Jun...I think I have everything out in the open. I feel...much more clearer now. Mmph..."

[Sosuke0549]

"Thank you,Jun. I know you want to go out for revenge,but I-I just don't want you to get hurt...I-I wouldn't forgive myself if you got hurt because of me..."[/Quote]

"I wouldn't get hurt.. believe me."

He muttered. They fell silent for a moment, May be this was the time to tell Dylani about his past... maybe.. about his book. The other suddenly broke the silent.

" I feel a little better Jun...I think I have everything out in the open. I feel...much more clearer now. Mmph..."[/Quote]

"...okay.."

He said softly. His eyes falling.

"..Dylani...there's been something I've been.. meaning to tell you.. I just...don't want you to hate me or..--"

Jun's phone suddenly started to ring, cutting him off. He bit his lip, pulling out his phone and looking at the collier ID.

"I uh... I need to take this."

He pulled away from Dylani, getting off the couch and disappearing into another room to answer the phone.

 

After a few minutes Jun returned, giving his lover a small smile.

"Hey.. sorry about that, it was my publisher. She planned some book signing for me next week..um..do you think you can handle being alone for.. 2 months? "

He scratched the back of his head.

"She wants me to do a 2 month book signing.. across the country.."

He looked at his lover.

"I didn't give her answer yet, but this.. this is huge for me Dylani..."

His smile grew bigger because he was so happy.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani felt conflicted at that point.

 

The thought of his lover leaning for such a long period of time,slightly scared him. They had not been together long,and he wasn't sure how he'd spend his days without him. But that would be selfish if he just told him not to go. Jun had been working too hard on his book not to take an opportunity such as this. Even if he didn't know what he was going to tell him,or what his book is all about,he had to stick to his lover's side.

 

"I think I can handle myself on my own for a bit,Jun." He said softly." I'm so proud of you. Your book must be exceptional to get this kind of signing. Who knows when you'll get another opportunity like this." He slowly rose from his spot and came to meet him, arms weakly wrapping around his neck." I just hope I don't miss you too much. I will miss you on those cold nights. And in other places..."

[Sosuke0549]

"I think I can handle myself on my own for a bit,Jun."[/Quote]

"Really? .. are you sure?"

" I'm so proud of you. Your book must be exceptional to get this kind of signing. Who knows when you'll get another opportunity like this." [/Quote]

"Y-Yeah but.."

He bit his lip, watching the other come to him, his arms weakly wrapping around his neck, Jun knew he didn't want him to go.

" I just hope I don't miss you too much. I will miss you on those cold nights. And in other places..."[/Quote]

"Dylani..."

He sighed.

"I'll think about it.."

He muttered, touching the others cheek.

"You have me now, that's all the matters. "

He pulled him to his body.

"How about you make some popcorn and hot chocolate and we'll watch a movie... whatever you want, I don't care. "

He smiled, kissing his forehead

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"I think we can do that. I just want to hold on to you... I really did miss touching you after last night." He couldn't find himself moving from his lover anytime soon. There was something about the moment that he just had to savor,to hold in his memories for some time. Jun might be leaving for some time soon. Just holding him would help him cope with him being gone. "Just sit tight,and I get those snacks started." Dylani then pulled himself away and heads off to the kitchen.

[Sosuke0549]

"I think we can do that. I just want to hold on to you... I really did miss touching you after last night."[/Quote]

Jun was surprised. He blushed a little hearing Dylani say such an adorable thing. So he didn't always fear his touch..

"..okay.. "

"Just sit tight,and I get those snacks started." [/Quote]

He said, pulling away and heading to the kitchen. Jun bit his lip, he took a step after him, grabbing his hand strongly.

"I love you..."

He said very serious and with no hesitation, as he stared deeply into the others eyes.

"I just.. want you to know that.."

He let go of him, a small smile on his lips.

" I'll go grab a blanket."

He left heading up stairs.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"I love you..I just..want you to know that..."

Those words,those sweet words just made the blonde's heart throb into a mushy puddle. He urged himself a simple."I love you too..." before Jun heads upstairs. He breathed a gentle sigh before moving to the cupboards to grab two mugs." That man is too sweet to me...I wouldn't think that anyone could make me feel like this." As he prepared to boil some water he reached for his patched up eye and sighed." But I have him...and I couldn't let him go..." Dylani went back to prepare the snacks without another word.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun relaxed on the couch next to his boyfriend as they watched a movie. His fingers slipping into the popcorn bowl and eating a few here and there. Jun wasn't a big fan of the movie selected, so his eyes often wondered over to Dylani who seem interested in the movie.

He liked seeing the other happy, and it was nice to spend some time together.

 

He sipped his hot chocolate quietly, as they snuggled in the dark.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani seemed much more relaxed than earlier that night. As they watched the movie he seemed well invested in what was flashing on the screen. His small hands dipped into the bowl ever so often and only nibbling into it. The blonde just seemed so content now,just happier than what conspired before. Close to the movie's end he leaned in and nuzzled himself under Jun's head and breathed a sigh." I love you Jun...I hope we can stay together forever..." His voice weak,very soft to the ear as his eyes closed. He had fallen asleep close to his lover and he could not be pulled away.

[Sosuke0549]

Dylani seemed to be much more relaxed than before. He was so content now, he leaned into him near the end of the movie, nuzzled himself under his chin.

" I love you Jun...I hope we can stay together forever..."[/Quote]

Jun was a little surprised hearing that but smiled softly.

"I love you too.. And I hope so.."

He whispered. His boyfriend fell asleep against him and he sighed.

"What am I going to do with you. "

He laughed softly before gently pulling away and carrying the small blond to there bed room to sleep.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani nuzzled himself into the sheets as soon as he was laid on them. Even when he was asleep,the blonde could be seen as adorable. His tiny body curled up slightly to take some of the sheets with him, pink lips slightly parted and the softest yawn passing through them as he moved to the nearest source of heat.

 

"Mmph...Jun..." He sleepily mumbled before curling up again. Such a peaceful look. Not a thing could stir him.

[Sosuke0549]

Dylani was fast asleep nuzzled himself into the sheets. Jun smiled softly at him, thinking nothing else could be quite this cute. His tiny body curled up slightly, pink lips slightly parted as if tempting him. Jun fell pray, lightly and quickly kissing his vulnerable lips.

"Mmph...Jun..."[/Quote]

He sleepily mumbled. Dyanli had such a peaceful look on his face, he'd miss him.

"...I'm sorry..I'm not being honest with you..."

He whispered. Kissing his forehead.

---------------------------------------------

{ 1 week later }

"You look sad.."

Jun smiled softly at his lover standing next to his train. It was very chilly outside so he was Waring a black coat with matching pants and boots. A Black beanie on his head to top it off.You could clearly see the carbon dioxide escape from his lips in a white puffs.

"Dyanli.. I'll be back..two months will fly by, I promise. "

He cupped the others cheek with his hand, his things already on the train.

"You'll be okay, and if you get lonely I'm just a call away..please stop looking like that.."

He drew the other closer.

"I love you.."

He looked at him serious, kissing him tenderly in public as people watched them and stared.

"..when I get back.. I'll make this up to you.."

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"You look sad."

Dylani tried his best to smile at his lover leaving. His eye finally healed and free of its patch. He couldn't stand to see him go alone. It was just too heartbreaking. He was dressed more feminine that day,wearing a dress coat,thick tights,and dark heeled boots. A light wool hat covered his bolide hair and a matching wool scarf covering his mouth.

"Dylani..I'll be back..two months will fly by,I promise. You'll be okay,and if you get lonely I'm just a call away..please stop looking like that..."

He couldn't help himself. He was just going to miss Jun too much. After the week they'd had together,the blonde just wanted a little more time with his boyfriend. He was going to miss his touch,his voice,everything. When being held so close he could only stay silent. When they kissed he was just close to melting in his arms.

"I love you...when I get back..I'll make this up to you."

Dylani leaned against him and sniffed in an attempt to hold back tears." I only want you to be safe out there..." He whispered sadly." I will miss you,but I'm proud that you're doing this. I only hope that...you'll miss me too. Don't let anyone steal your heart,okay?"

[Sosuke0549]

" I only want you to be safe out there..."[/Quote]

"I will be.."

" I will miss you,but I'm proud that you're doing this. I only hope that...you'll miss me too. Don't let anyone steal your heart,okay?"[/Quote]

"Of course I'll miss you.. and how could anyone steal my heart- when it already belongs to you."

He smiled .

"ALL ABORED!!!"

Jun bit his lip.

"I got to go.. I love you."

He said quickly, kissing his boyfriend one last time before pulling away and turning his back to him as he hurried on his train.

 

In mere minutes... He was gone. This warmth, voice, smile, touch, teasing, and presses gone. And he would be gone for days, he onlt hoped that his lover would be okay and call, text, or skype hin when ever.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

How could one person be gone so quickly?

 

Just as that train left its station Dylani could feel his heart tug roughly in sadness. As soon as his boyfriend left he was already missing his touch,his voice,and his kisses. He only figured that was how one would feel when they missed someone they loved. What a confusing feeling.

 

As the days passed the blonde tried his best to contact Jun whenever he found the time. He texted him every morning when he woke up,and every night before he fell asleep. He could remember calls and Skype chats lasting for hours. All of that could not replace the warmth that his older boyfriend gave him every time they touched. But he knew that they would be together soon. That alone would be enough to keep him going.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun sighed as he glanced at his phone.

2:37 am. He stayed up to write the next chapter of his book.. but now He seemed..stuck.

"Writers block sucks.."

He muttered to himself. He bit his lip, picking up his phone.. just one more week. One more week until he was back home with Dylani.

He quickly went threw his phone, calling Dylani He had talked to him earlier, wishing him good night but... he couldn't sleep, and he wanted to hear his voice again. He waited until he answered. Knowing he would because he missed him just as much as he did.

"Hey babe... sorry to wake you.. just wanted to hear your voice again.."

He leaned back in his chair, yawning.

"As soon as I see you again I'm going to kiss you for as long as I can...I think I'm addicted to your lips. "

He laughed a little.

"I got writers block again...tell me a story. "

 

Whenever Jun got stuck in his writing. He always, always made Dylani tell him a story. It could usually put him to sleep and it would sometimes get him out of his writers block, He got up, tossing himself on the hotel couch, closing his eyes and waiting.