18+ The Journal

[Elmeida]

Summary : An average high school gay kid and how a journal changed his life. [inspired by real story.]

Status : In Progress

[Elmeida]

CHAPTER ONE

"Emerson, wake up! It's time for school!"

I groaned at the sound of my mom's voice and rolled over, checking the time. I had half an hour to get ready for school.

I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on some clean clothes. I brushed my hair and teeth before heading to the kitchen.

My mom tossed me a granola bar which slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor. I sighed before picking it up.

"Smile," she said coming over and ruffling my hair.

"I just brushed my hair!" I whined.

"It looks bad anyways, just put a beanie on." she said.

I stomped back into my room and pulled on a beanie, hiding my mess of a hair. I returned to the kitchen and mom nodded in approval at my lazy appearance.

"Bye Emerson, and try to be in a good mood." She said as she kissed my forehead.

I grumbled a response and grabbed my car keys. In less than a few minutes, I was already heading for school. Rain started pouring as I pulled into the school parking lot.

"Great." I hissed as I got out of the car in a hurry because I didn't have an umbrella.

I started up the hill to the tuition block when I suddenly lost my footing and fell. I grit my teeth when I heard laughter but ignored the sound as I pulled myself up.

I walked to my locker in soaked jeans and took my books for first period just as the bell rang.

I was late to class again.

I rushed to homeroom and sighed in relief when I realized that we had an elderly substitute. The guy didn't even glance at me as I moved to my desk. I assumed he was sleeping since his head was bowed and he didn't move, apart from his breathing.

Just when I was about to sit, arms wrapped around my waist and I mentally groaned. As if I wasn't already in a bad mood.

"Hi Kade." I said with an emotionless voice.

He spun me around and inspected my jeans. "Fell walking up the hill again?"

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" I said, turning to sit down.

Kade gripped my arm and spun me again. He had a frown on his face as he searched my eyes.

"Emerson, I'm sorry about yesterday." he said.

"No, you're not! You thought it was the funniest thing in the world when they egged my car!" I snapped, pointing at a group of kids sitting in the corner.

"Aw, calm down Emerson." The leader of that little group, Caleb, said as his friends snickered.

"You're overreacting, they were just messing around with you." Kade said.

"Kade, they egged my car!" I said furiously. "Why don't you stop turning a blind eye and see that they're being assholes to me!"

"Baby, calm down." Kade said as he pulled me for a hug and kiss. "They were just messing around I promise."

"That was a nice fall you took on the way here." Caleb said as he gestured to my knees. One of his goon tried to imitate my fall in slow-motion.

I made a face. I knew it was them laughing at me in the parking lot. My eyes shot to Kade, who looked amused.

"Are you going to let them get away with this?" I demanded.

"He's just joking, Emerson," Kade said, rolling his eyes as he laughed with them.

I smacked his arm, hard, not caring that my hand was stinging. "No, he's not! He's always been an asshole to me, Kade! Him and his friends! You never even stand up for me! I'm your boyfriend!"

"And they are my friends," he said, his patience starting to slip. "Don't be selfish, Emerson."

My jaw dropped in shock. "I'm being selfish?! Kade, they physically and emotionally abused me for years and I kept up with it until now! You know why? Because I love you. Sorry I got sick of them beating me up behind your back and verbally abusing me, you oblivious, uncaring person!"

"I do care about you. You're just being a little bitch about all of this." Kade said, his voice irritated. My eyes started watering and I yanked my hand from his hold.

This wasn't the first fight we had. Ever since I told Kade that his friends were bullying me, we had been fighting non-stop. Even when he witnessed it, he still took their side and got mad at me because I wanted him to do something about it.

"Aw, Emerson is a little crybaby faggot." Caleb said annoyingly.

"Oh, he's a real swell guy, Kade. You sure know how to pick the best friends." I said, sarcastically.

"He's just kidding, Emerson." Kade defended Caleb.

Caleb came up to me, towering over me. The whole class was now watching us. "Shut up, Emerson. You're an annoying, whiny bitch." He then struck me across my face instantly turning my cheek red.

I looked over at Kade and saw him laughing with Caleb and his friends. The sight hurt me more than my cheek.

"Are you seriously laughing?" I asked in a whisper.

"Well bitches deserve to be bitch-slapped." Kade replied chuckling.

I grabbed my bag and pushed my way out of the classroom. Tears blurred my vision but I managed to identify the familiar heavy door. I closed it behind me and descended the stairs to the boiler room. I curled up into a corner and willed my tears to stop. I wasn't a crybaby anymore.

I glanced around the room feeling very safe. It was the only place I could skive classes without being noticed. I was looking at a large crack in the wall when I noticed something sticking out. I stood up and walked to it. I pulled it out, it was a book.

Not a book though, but a simple journal shut with several rubber bands. I returned to my corner and sat down while pulling out the rubber bands. I flipped the pages and raised my eyebrows at the small, neat handwriting.

I checked the inside front cover and a name was scribbled on it.

Nash.

It tickled my curiosity. "I have some time to kill. Might as well." I mumbled to myself, got comfortable and started reading.

Dear journal of mine,

That's how you start a journal, right? Hell if I know. I've never done this before. But mom said they are a way of venting out anger and frustration. It will also be pretty cool to look at when I get older.

I guess the real reason I'm starting out is because of what happened yesterday. I have a feeling something will change. I will write things as they occurred and I don't want to miss anything. I will start with yesterday's events and so forth.

I made a confession yesterday. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of lies (cliché, right?), so I finally admitted it. I finally told Callahan that I'm-

"-gay."

Callahan looked at me while nodding slowly, not fully understanding until his eyes widened and he stared at me in shock.

"You're gay?" he asked.

I nodded while twirling my fingers in my hair thoughtlessly.

Callahan turned his head but remembered his twin, Damien, wasn't in the living room with us but in the toilet doing his business.

Callahan and Damien weren't really twins, or blood related in any way. They had been friends since kindergarten. Seeing one without the other was unheard of...unless one was in the toilet. If they followed each other to the toilets as well, then that is downright weird. -_-

Callahan was calmer than Damien and when coming out for the first time, you sort of need a calm person.

"Sorry, Nash. You know I'm not homophobic. It's just...I never suspected it. You always struck me as a straight guy." Callahan said, looking apologetic.

"Well good, that was the goal."

"Did you tell anyone else? Why now?" He asked.

"Nah. You know how my parents are. They pretend to be accepting but deep down they're homophobic assholes. I'm sick of hiding who I really am, it's driving me crazy."

"I'm the only one who knows?" Callahan asked, more shock seeping into his eyes.

"Yep. I didn't want to come out when Damien is around, you know how he overreacts. Don't you feel special?" I asked, smirking at him.

He laughed a little. "Damien does overreact at times....so, do you like anyone?"

I had a mental debate on whether I should say but it ended quickly and I nodded.

"Francis." I replied, my voice calm.

"Frank?!" Callahan cried. "Frank Phillips?!"

"The one and only."

"Nash, what the hell?! Are you out of your mind?! Out of all the guys in the world, why Frank?!" He whispered sharply so as not to alarm Damien.

"I honestly don't know," I sighed. "I just have strong feelings for him."

"Damn." Callahan said. And that 'damn' pretty much summed up Francis.

Francis was a unique individual. There were two sides to Francis, making him hard to understand.

First, there was plain old Francis Phillips. He was fairly kind and caring, modest and funny. He was pleasant to be around and he loved making people smile.

Then there was Frank Phillips.

Frank was the well-known side. He was sarcastic, slightly cruel and lived to raise hell. He didn't like the name 'Francis' because it sounded boring to him thus the name Frank. He was narcissistic, cocky and just difficult to put up with.

To put it simply, Francis Phillips was by-polar or schizophrenic.

The four of us had been together since we were kids that's why we were able to put up with him. Frank was well known by people because of his attitude which was why most referred to Francis as Frank.

I heard Damien's footsteps and turned to Callahan. "Don't tell him anything, I'll tell him soon." I whispered. Callahan nodded obediently.

Damien sat next to Callahan. "Why isn't Frank here yet?"

"He said he'd be here in an hour. Let's watch TV to kill some time." I replied. As I was setting up the system, I heard the doorbell.

I went to get it and peeked at the peephole. My stomach started doing somersaults like it always did when Francis was involved.

I released a nervous breath and opened the door.

"Hey Nash."

Francis was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing tan shorts and a long-sleeved dark shirt. His brown curls bounced lightly as he straightened up, watching me through his glasses.

"Hey Francis." I greeted in a normal voice despite how I was feeling inside.

I ushered him in and shut the door. We entered the living room where I found the twins already watching a movie and filling the couch that faced the TV directly.

"Hey Frank." They said together, not even bothering to look if it was him.

"Hey twins." Francis greeted as he sat on another couch. "What are we watching?"

"MANswers," Damien replied. "We're finding out if a midget hooker costs more or less than a regular sized hooker."

"More obviously. Laws of supply and demand." Francis said.

Damien sighed and shut off the TV. "Well you would know, oh smart Frank. Let's go play on the trampoline in the backyard instead." Callahan followed him out while I walked with Francis. Sometimes I wonder if that's the reason my friends like hanging out at my place, because of my trampoline.

"Well this is fun." Frank said sarcastically.

Frank and I were sitting on the trampoline bouncing lightly while Callahan and Damien continued jumping.

"We can do something else. What do you want to do, Frank?" I asked. He was in a Frank mood.

"I don't know....let's go play some basketball." Frank said.

I shrugged and nodded, beginning to stand up. Unfortunately or fortunately, Damien decided to give a particularly hard bounce which sent me tumbling backwards. Frank grabbed my shirt pulling me sideways to his lap. He kept his arms around me securely as I slapped my palms against the trampoline to avoid face-planting into Frank's leg.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I scrambled to get off his lap, forcing my face not to heat up in embarrassment.

But Frank tightened his hold on me and I turned to look at him in confusion.

"I like this position." He said with a shy shrug.

He shifted me into a sitting position on his laps and kept his arms around me securely.

"I thought you wanted to play basketball." I said, my voice had a nervous hitch to it.

"I found something I want to do more." Francis replied with a cute chuckle.

I willed my body to relax though my heart was speeding up. I couldn't relax because I was avoiding the pointed gaze Callahan was throwing at me.

We stayed like that for a while until Francis stood up.

"I have to head home now, Nash. Thanks for inviting me and I hope we can do that sometime again." He said, winking at me and hopping off the trampoline.

I watched him walk away barely managing to keep my jaws closed. I just couldn't believe that-

-something like that had just happened. It was simple, but I'm positive that it means something is just starting. After all, Francis is openly gay. Maybe he returns my feelings for him.

But that was what happened yesterday, what happened today was even more bizarre and wonderful.

I stopped reading the journal, burning with curiosity. Kade was completely wiped from my mind. The journal was written with such accuracy and attention to even small details. I could see everything unfolding in my head like a movie. It was easy to imagine myself as Nash.

Unable to help myself, I continued reading the journal wanting to indulge in Nash's world. I was completely unaware that my entire life was about to change.

[Karin]

I liked reading Nash's journal as well. I fangirled when Callahan was staring at Francis getting close to Nash. :Wink:

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