New Beginnings (Zombie and Exellda) [18+]

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan smiled nervously, letting his eyes close. He could bet Daniel felt how nervous he was, it was so weird not to see what he was doing! Feeling the other's fingers brush against his hand, the man gripped the cutter a bit tighter, letting Daniel lead his hands where they were supposed to be. The motion was familiar at least, so he did have a clue about how to do it, but it was still very unusual. A quiet chuckle left his mouth at the teasing, his head shaking slightly. "No, where's the fun in that?" He replied softly. Even now he had hope that Daniel wouldn't hurt him. He wanted to believe that all people had good in them, and Daniel just seemed so nice... So trustworthy.

 

As the two of them began cutting the cake, Jonathan found himself focusing more on how nice the other's hands felt against his own, how perfectly they seemed to fit one another. The cutting didn't even take that long. "No, you're definitely not hurting me." Jonathan smiled softly, keeping his eyes closed patiently, letting Daniel do what he wanted with his hands. He would feel if something went wrong. At the question, he opened his eyes and looked down, a lopsided grin stretching across his face. "It's not too bad, especially since it was cut without seeing. The pieces aren't all even, but... I think we did pretty good." Jonathan said, looking down at his hand. Daniel hadn't let go.

 

The man turned his hand slightly, for a few moments letting them touch before letting go entirely. "Well, let's go and eat. I hope you like it." Jonathan didn't mention the hand holding at all, leading Daniel back to the table before bringing the cake there as well. As he placed one piece of it into the blind man's plate, he couldn't help but wonder - would they really stay as friends? He liked Daniel so much, and they hadn't even known one another for too long. It was so nice being with him... He felt like they belonged together, although perhaps he still had a lot to learn about the other - firstly, what the scars came from.

 

Jonathan let the two of them enjoy the vanilla cheesecake, watching Daniel with a soft look. It really felt nice. All things came to an end, though. He didn't get up to collect the dishes at first, lightly nibbling on his lip. "I... Wanted to ask you something." He started carefully, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment. "Those scars, ones on your abdomen... Are you getting any more? I'm sorry if it's too personal, I'm just... Worried." He ended quietly, looking at Daniel with a concerned gaze in his eyes.

[Exellda]

Today just seemed to work out very well. The blind male felt that they were clicking right of the bat. He thought that Jonathan was very sweet and kind... It was very much appreciated. Daniel felt satisfied even if the pieced were not equal, overall please that Jonathan sounded like he really enjoyed himself. He had even got the other male to laugh which lightened up his mood significantly. Everything, from the way Jonathan talked to his hand gestures made Daniel feel at ease. And it didn't even bother Daniel when their hands briefly held together- like a perfect fit.

 

Letting the other male lead him back to the table, Daniel happily sat down as he awaited Jonathan to serve the cheesecake. "I am not worried about it, I am sure it will taste just as good as everything else." He said as he heard the plate being set in front of him. He let his hand brush against the table until he found his fork while his other hand found the plate. It was easy and very simple to cut himself a piece, he paused as he brought the cheesecake up to his lips, "You're a good cook." He said and then took a bite. As expected the cheesecake tasted very good.

 

However the mood seemed to change once they were done and Jonathan started to speak. At first Daniel's brows furrowed, wondering how Jonathan knew about the scars on his abdomen... But then he recalled being on the couch earlier. Perhaps his shirt rolled up on accident. He had unconsciously placed his right hand on his shirt, over his scars, contemplating whether he should tell Jonathan how it happened or not... But... Like it or not, he was sure Jonathan would find out one way or another. "I'm actually surprised you decided to ask about it, that's pretty brave of you..." He commented before nervously running his hand through his hair with his left hand. "I would certainly hope I wouldn't be getting more. I'll just warn you now that it's not a very happy tale, so fill free to tune me out if I say too much." He started to say. It was sometimes hard to explain how it occurred, but nonetheless he would try. "If there's one thing you should know first, it's that my father is very... abusive... Physically, verbally and mentally. He was the kind of man who would beat me because he could. Often I was locked indoors and I was too scared, too intimidated by him to even go outside or disobey him for the most part." Bascially his father controlled almost every aspect of his life...

 

He paused for a moment to let that sink in. "So obviously, I didn't like my father too much... Well, it all started when I as eighteen. I finally was tired of dealing with the man and- now that I was old enough to move out, that's what I was doing. Sure, I could have run away but I was always too scared of the man. I knew he would hurt me if he caught me... So it was actually surprising that I had the ambition to leave him during the night..." He said softly and slowly. "I had been thinking about my escape for a whole month, thinking about every little detail or how I was going to leave... I had packed on small suitcase full of clothes and whatever at the time I found valuable. Getting downstairs quietly was the easy part, getting the front door open was the hard part. That thing made the most obnoxious creaking noises..."

 

A small frown settled onto Daniels face as he recalled everything that happened that night, "What I didn't anticipate was that my father was already awake, in the kitchen, getting a glass of water... He caught me at the door..."

 

Daniel went into story mode.

 

"So he grabbed onto me, asking me what the hell I was doing and in spite I told him to fuck off and that I was tired of dealing with him. Since he was tugging on my shirt, I quickly slipped out of it. He could have the shirt for all I cared, I was getting out- Or so I thought... That was when he used the glass of water he had and... Well, he hit me in the head with the glass cup. The water got all over me and the glass broke. I had fallen to the ground, dazed and disoriented..." Daniel paused, remembering how confused he was. He then continued to speak, "I then remember him grabbing onto my chin, telling me how ungrateful I was... And that it wouldn't matter because I would be able to see my mother in a bit..."

 

 

 

"At that moment I knew he was going to try to kill me. I panicked, pushed him away, he cursed as I got up and then-" Daniel was unconsciously rubbing his abdominal area, his brows furrowed once again. "He lunged at me- During the time I didn't know what he had stabbed me with but I later learned that it was the other half of the glass cup. Things got a little hazy from there. I remember calling the police... Passing out and then waking up in the hospital where I was informed that my father was put in jail... I had to have two surgeries to get all of the glass out of my body..." He paused, finally officially ending his story. He wasn't all that happy about it. But he was alive... Though he didn't mention the scars on his arms... He suspected he would explain those later, some day, as well. "And that's how I got them... You can touch them if you want, I assure you that it doesn't hurt anymore."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan smiled faintly when Daniel mentioned how he should've been brave for asking such a question. He was everything but brave, honestly. Wasn't the fact that he was afraid of the dark enough alone to prove that he was a damn coward? In general, he was just... Weak. And that was pretty much the same as being a coward. Could a coward be strong? Physically, sure, but psychologically?... No way. It would be just something fake.

 

As the other began explaining how he got the scars, Jonathan could feel blood draining from his cheeks. That was horrible... How could anyone go through that and still stay sane? Daniel looked so strong while speaking about such matters. Like they didn't affect him that much. Reaching out, he took his hand gently, lightly squeezing it as if to comfort him. "It's horrible that you had to go through something like that." He said quietly, his voice a bit shaky. Lightly stroking his knuckles with his thumb, Jonathan found himself hesitating. Daniel opened up to him like that... It was only fair he did the same.

 

"So... You already know I was married. Had two beautiful daughters..." He started softly, continuing to hold onto the other's hand, almost like to support himself. "My life would've been absolutely perfect, if I hadn't lost my job. I brought the most money into the family, and now I couldn't support them at all. I... I became so depressed, and I-..." He found it a bit hard to say, swallowing down nervously. "I tried to drown what was happening in alcohol. I became so stressed, so angry, so... I considered suicide at some point." He admitted quietly, slowly letting go of Daniel's hand. "My wife left me, she left with the kids. She told me that maybe I would be able to get back if I got help, and I did, I went to rehab, but..." Jonathan felt like he was close to tears. It was still too hard to talk about. It happened nearly a year ago, and he still wasn't over it, god, he doubted he would ever be over it.

 

"I'm really sorry if this is making you uncomfortable, but... I thought you should know. I struggle with a lot of things. I hope you can forgive me." He said quietly, his voice soft, but broken. He still had no idea how to live his life without them. He wanted a family so bad, and he lost it because of his stupid actions.

[Exellda]

After telling his story Daniel was welcomed a welcoming gesture, Jonathan's hand had reached out and grabbed his own. His hand had a nice touch to it, warm and tender... They seemed like they would be very strong hands... At first, Jonathan's hand comforted Daniel, but as the other male told him a bit about himself, he could feel the other's hand shake. He could tell that Jonathan was hurting, it was obvious because not only was he shaking, but Daniel could hear his voice falter and become slightly unsteady. So he was an alcoholic? No, not anymore... Well then...

 

"...So your wife left you because you were an alcoholic." He said carefully. A wife and two kids... "You know what..?" He said after a moment. "I know it's not my right to say this, but I think that was pretty shit- I mean, crummy of her to let you battle that alone. I think you're strong, Jonathan, even if you don't see it. And I am proud of you for going to rehab... Thank you for sharing that with me though, you didn't have to but you did- So thanks." While Daniel had closed off most of his emotions -because of his trauma, it seemed Jonathan was expressive with his emotions. Jonathan was like the perfect opposite in that sense. However, despite that, Daniel wanted to somehow comfort the other...

 

"Jonathan..." Daniel said softly, squeezing the other male's hand gently. "Don't apologize to me, please. I mean, do you see me apologizing to you? I want you to know that you're not alone. I have my own baggage I carry... I struggle with many things, too. I understand the fight, even if we are fighting different battles." The blind male said, hoping that he was helping the other male. He wasn't a doctor or anything, so he really didn't know how to heal people. How could he heal others if he himself was still trying to piece himself back together... They do say; Two halves make a whole, right..? "I've... also dealt with suicide before..." He admitted, however he didn't mention the scars on his arms nor the fact that about a week and a half ago he had cut himself again. A scab was on his left arm. His free hand that wasn't being held went to the his other arm, rubbing it softly. Almost anyone could guess that he was a cutter by the gesture. Though, there were more than just a couple cuts, some small scars were from his father, like a cigarette burn on his forearm.

 

There was a moment of hesitation before Daniel's free hand patted Jonathan's hand. "So with that being said, I really meant it when I say; Talk to me if you need to. As I said earlier, I believe that I am a good listener." Daniel said, slowly standing up, but never letting go of Jonathan's hand. "And if you need to, Jonathan, go ahead and cry. I won't judge you for it..." He said as he slowly walked around the table, and soon standing in front of Jonathan who was sitting in his chair. "In fact, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I am right here... If you want." He said, standing there in front of another broken man. "You know what they say about crying right..? Those who have been strong for too long... cry." If his wife wasn't going to be there to support Jonathan, Daniel decided he would. Though he barely knew the man he felt like this would be good for him too. No one should fight alone. Daniel felt like he had been fighting a battle -sometimes- almost every day... He could only imagine how much it hurt to actually have a loving family and be separated from them...

 

The fact that Daniel was blind made him feel more alone. Sometimes... It felt like someone would disappear if he let go of them. It was like a fear to Daniel... Merely holding Jonathan's hand was enough and very comforting. Reminded Daniel that he wasn't talking to himself... and that he really wasn't alone...

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan let out a weak smile as Daniel began speaking. He himself could never speak ill of his wife... No, he still held affection for the woman. He was aware that she'd found another man, and in such a short period of time... It rose suspicions that she'd been seeing him for a while, even as they were still married. His downfall was just something to prove that it wasn't worth sticking around. He still missed her, though. Hearing that the other man was proud of him for going to rehab, it brought tears to his eyes. Daniel probably had no idea how much those words meant, especially if they were truly honest.

 

When Daniel mentioned having dealt with suicide as well, Jonathan looked up just in time to see him rubbing his arm. "You... Do you still cut yourself?.." He asked quietly, his voice shaky. Even as Daniel continued speaking, he could only focus on the fact that the other self-harmed. It was horrible, one of the worst... No, probably the worst thing one could do to themselves. Jonathan's lips twitched slightly into a weak smile when he was told he could cry. He did. Almost every night, he couldn't fall asleep. Only crying himself to sleep worked - how pathetic was that?

 

And still, Jonathan reached out, lightly taking Daniel's hands with his own. "Thank you." He muttered softly, standing up to hug the other lightly. "I really don't deserve it." He let out a quiet sigh, pulling away after a bit. Gently holding the younger man's shoulders, his lip trembled slightly. "Please try not to hurt yourself anymore. If not for yourself... Then for me." He asked softly, gently placing one hand over Daniel's arm. It really hurt him to even think of the other doing this to himself. He felt it was unfair. Jonathan brought this on himself, and Daniel really had no other way. He couldn't escape from his life or his father. He was left with no other choice than to suffer...

[Exellda]

Though Daniel couldn't see Jonathan, he could assume that the other had or was starting to cry. It was sad to know that someone else was hurting. To think the a sweet man like Jonathan was struggling with a divorce and alcoholism. One would think Jonathan would have shut himself off from people. It surprised Daniel how warm and muscular Jonathan was when he hugged him. Oh... Jonathan was a good huger. He was indeed a big teddy bear, one that warmed Daniel from the inside out.

 

But when it came to self harm, that's where they differed. A small sigh escaped Daniel, he was guilty as charged and he wouldn't lie about it either... Especially to Jonathan. He felt the man deserved some honesty... After all this was a serious topic. "It was my way to cope... Kind of like you with the alcohol, but I've been doing it longer, I am sure..." Daniel said after a while, admitting that he did cut himself. "I've gotten a lot better about it and I am not as worse as I use to be when I was a teenager... Though I started in middle school." And Daniel left it at that. He already knew that self harm was bad and hoped Jonathan wouldn't criticize him for it. The blind male was working on it, he really was... Though there were still days, the ones where he felt the loneliest- the same ones he was struggling so hard... Those were the days that he was more likely to bring a blade to his wrist.

 

While he couldn't promise that he wouldn't do it again, he really wanted to, but he as of yet he just couldn't keep that promise... But he could offer a compromise. "I suppose... I can try... For you." A small smile made it onto his face as he nudged Jonathan softly, "You know... You're a really nice guy, Jonathan, I'll give you that. And... if you don't mind me saying so..." Daniel hummed softly, extending his hand forward towards Jonathan until he made contact with his chest. His eyes stared blankly in front of him. "You remind me of a big teddy bear." He said bluntly. "I haven't met someone like you before, but I think... I think..." His brows furrowed as he tried to decide how to word what he was trying to say. He actually wasn't quite sure what he was saying to begin with... "No... You have this feeling- aura about you... And it's oddly welcoming. You seem like a nice guy, probably a real gentle man. Heh, gentle man... Gentlemen?" A small chuckle escaped Daniel at the small silly joke he just made. "But in all seriousness, Jonathan, I think your a swell guy."

 

The blind male then retracted his hand in hesitation. He hadn't asked if he could touch Jonathan... Sometimes it was a habit- his habit. Daniel liked physical contact, though he was shy to admit it. But sometimes his hand moved on their own, almost as though they were attracted to body heat... To be honest, Daniel wanted to see Jonathan's face... Though that was a creepy question to ask... Other's had thought he was a creeper... Yet, something about Jonathan told him that he wouldn't judge... And might even agree to it. "Hey... Jonathan... Mind if I ask you a weird question..?" He hesitated as he brought his hands up to his chest clasping his figures together in a nervous manner. "Could I... Um, see what you look like?" He asked softly. "What I mean is... May I touch your face?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan flinched whenever he heard the word 'alcohol' by now. It was a reflex, he couldn't help it. He always felt like it was used to make him feel ashamed, to blame him for what happened. Sometimes, it was used in that way. His eyes widened when Daniel said he'd started in middle school. "Oh, god..." He muttered quietly, pulling him closer into a warm, tight hug. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." He uttered, slowly moving one hand up to gently stroke his hair. He always found that this motion helped him relax, so he hoped it would help the other as well. Words often failed to make him feel better, but if he was hugged, or just had his hair stroked, he always managed to calm down. Words were less than actions in his eyes.

 

"Thank you. If you'd like, I could find some alternatives for self harm... I know there are a lot." Jonathan suggested, gently holding him to himself. The man blinked a few times when he was told he reminded the other of a teddy bear. He chuckled quietly, his mood lightening, cheeks reddening slightly as Daniel continued speaking. "God, I... Really don't feel like I deserve all this. But thank you." He replied with a soft smile, not minding the hand on his chest one bit. Again, physical contact was something he adored. He never found it hard, and it was probably obvious by how willing he was to offer his arm for Daniel when they first met, to help him get home.

 

"My face?..." Jonathan repeated in slight confusion before letting out a small smile. "Go for it. It's the same as looking for you, isn't it? You... You don't have to ask for permission to touch me. I don't mind." He added, gently leading Daniel's hand to his cheek. He leaned down slightly for him to be able to reach him better, not wanting to inconvenience him - since he was a bit... Not even a bit, quite taller than the other. He actually liked how soft Daniel's hands were, how gentle and careful they were. They always seemed to know exactly where to be to "see" everything the best. His own hands... He wasn't sure what people thought of them, other than that they were warm and big. He knew he was always a bit warmer than someone else, his body temperature was just higher than the average. It was always a bit confusing, but it was how it was.

[Exellda]

One moment Daniel was standing next to Jonathan, the next moment he found himself being absorbed in a bundle of warmth. A small gasp escaped Daniel as he was surprised when Jonathan hugged him. To be surrounded by so much warmth was... Actually quite alluring... Welcoming... Probably the best hug he had ever had... Hell, Daniel felt like his could cuddle into this man's arms- But of course he didn't that would be embarrassing! He didn't know Jonathan that well.. But it would still have been nice to do...

 

As if Jonathan's hug wasn't enough, he felt the man's tender hand make its way into his hair... and Daniel loved every moment of it. Because of his blindness, he accepted many forms of contact. Such as what Jonathan was doing right now, it didn't bother Daniel in the slightest to be close to someone. There was almost no such thing as personal space with Daniel, he felt bad some times because then he felt a little too clingy... However, judging by the way Jonathan was so comfortable with holding a stranger as if they had been friends forever, Daniel would say that Jonathan didn't mind in the slightest that they were so close right now. It made Daniel feel both happy and relieved that someone could be comfortable with him. At first, if he was being honest with himself, he had tensed up when Jonathan hugged him. Not really many people hugged him like Jonathan did. It was mostly and awkward pat on the back or a one-arm awkward hug. If anything, Daniel simply loved full on hugs, much like the one Jonathan was giving him right now...

 

Hugs made everything better. No matter how much he was hurting, a hug somehow always made him have a better mood. Hugs and... The support that Jonathan was giving him, though they barely knew each other was simply remarkable... "That's really... kind of you." Daniel said softly, enjoying Jonathan's hand in his hair. He didn't know Jonathan that well, but hell, he wanted to ask if he could receive hugs as an alternative. He wanted to change right then and there, stop his cutting habit, just because this strange yet kind man hugged him. "Don't say that." Daniel lightly scolded, "Everyone deserves to be complimented and supported." He said, speaking from both experience and through his own feelings.

 

Daniel wouldn't have thought the situation couldn't have gotten any better, but it did. Jonathan was actually okay with him touching him..? How... Understanding of him! A light blush suddenly forms on Daniel's face once his hand makes contact with Jonathan's face. "U-uh, thank you..." He stuttered, baffled at how understanding Jonathan was. "I didn't know if you would think I was a creep if I asked... I like to have physical contact a lot..." He admitted shyly, "I find physical interaction to be more..." He tried to come up with the right word to explain it. The only word that came to his mind at the moment was, "Soothing... Because I am blind, having only words to cling on isn't enough for me some times... So to compensate for it, I tend to like physical contact a lot... So I am sorry if I am a little clingy, Jonathan." He apologized.

 

Then Daniel raised his other hand. Now both hands were cupping Jonathan's cheeks. A small smile formed on Daniel's face, the light blush never leaving him as his hands moved in sync. Slowly, Daniel allowed his hands to feel Jonathan's skin, mentally memorizing his face and attempting to imagine what he looked like. His fingers traced the outline of Jonathan's chin, past the stubble of hair and then back up to his cheeks. "Hmn, seems like someone needs a light shave." Daniel teased, mostly out of nervousness. He didn't know why his heart was racing. He hoped his palms were not sweaty as his hands slowly slid past Jonathan's ears and tangled into his hard. His hair was very soft... After that his fingers brushed the other male's forehead, eye brows, around his eyes- but dare not touch them, followed down the bridge of his nose and then he let his thumb brush over his lips... Lastly, his hands ended up back where they started, on Jonathan's cheeks. Every one of Daniel's touches were soft and gentle, as if he would accidentally break Jonathan if he pressed too hard.

 

It seemed that Daniel's blush had gotten a shade darker. Along with being nervous about this, he had also been a little shy about it. Nevertheless, Daniel played it off with a teasing and flirty comment- however there was some truth to it. "How come you didn't tell me you were handsome?" He said and then slowly removed his hands. He didn't move from his spot as he continued to talk. "You know... I didn't realize how much I needed this until now... I appreciate this greatly and I can't thank you enough." The hug alone was probably enough to make Daniel feel better, but Jonathan had went further than that.

 

After that Daniel stayed quiet for only a moment before suddenly closing the distance between him and Jonathan. His arms found their way around the other male as he pulled him into a snug embrace. "Treat others how you wish to be treated." Daniel said using it more or less as an excuse or reason to justify hugging Jonathan. Truly he simply adored hugs- and contact in general. "Thanks again, Jonathan." Daniel said for what seemed like the millionth time.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan thought about pulling away when he felt Daniel tense up, but it only lasted for a few moments. It seemed the other was also appreciating the physical contact. He smiled, letting himself linger onto the hug for a bit longer before finally letting go. He made a quick note in his head to make a list of things the other could do instead of cutting. He knew there were a lot, also depending on the reason one cut - anger, sadness, loneliness, they all had different alternatives. He'd used a few of them himself, in the darkest moments. He was too scared to actually hurt himself, though... That he also found weak.

 

Jonathan shook his head when Daniel spoke about being clingy. "Honestly, you can feel free to touch me whenever you want. I like physical contact, too... You being clingy, it's just, erm... Endearing, I'd say." He let out a quiet laugh, his gaze softening as he looked at the other. It felt like the two of them had been friends for ages. Like they belonged together... Was that what people called soulmates? He always doubted people like that existed, but he felt so in sync with Daniel, he couldn't find a different explanation. The two of them were meant to be - either as friends or something... Something more. Jonathan wasn't ready for that something, though. He didn't even think about starting a new romantic relationship. How could he? He still loved the woman who left him at his most vulnerable moment. He... He really was weak. That seemed to be the word he used most to describe himself, although not to other people. Perhaps he would mention it to Daniel, how weak he felt most of the time... He probably would.

 

As Daniel began feeling his face, Jonathan couldn't fight off a small smile, which also created small wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He chuckled at the teasing, lightly leaning into the touch, just the smallest of movements. "I prefer to keep my beard as it is. I don't look like myself without it." He replied with a faint smile, closing his eyes as Daniel's hands came near them. Even if they weren't touched, it was an instinct to protect them. His eyelashes fluttered open again as his hands trailed down his nose and lips. When Daniel brushed over his lip, he found the touch to leave a hot trail, even if it was gone in moments. It'd been so long since he last kissed someone.

 

Jonathan laughed quietly when the other said he was handsome. He didn't really think that way. It was hard for him to actually see positive in himself. "You don't need to thank me at all. I'm just happy I could help, even with something this small." He smiled softly as he was hugged again, gladly returning the motion. Pulling the other closer gently, he slowly moved his chin down to rest it on top of Daniel's head. "Don't worry about it." He muttered a bit absentmindedly, his fingers moving up and down his back in a soothing manner.

 

"Do you want to stay here for a while longer or should I get you home now?" Jonathan asked after a while. He knew it couldn't go on forever, even if he wanted to. "I'll get the food into a container so you can bring it home... And don't forget to eat it. If you need to, I can put in some more so you can last a few days." He suggested with a faint smile. He had a bad feeling that Daniel didn't eat sometimes not because he forgot, but because he didn't have what to eat. He would make sure that wouldn't happen again.

[Exellda]

There was no end to how perfect Jonathan seemed to be. The other male simply seemed to know everything about Daniel and how he liked to be comforted. It was amazing... Daniel kept getting this funny fuzzy feeling all over, as if butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. If he hadn't known any better, Daniel might have said they were friends... Or at least that's what it felt like. Just when he thought he couldn't find someone that would make him happy, Jonathan appeared out of nowhere. Like a miracle or something, though Daniel didn't believe in miracles... No matter how hard Daniel wanted to believe that this was fate or something cliche like that, he didn't think Jonathan would hang around him forever...

 

Though Daniel really hoped he would.

 

However, Daniel couldn't resist the perfect setup Jonathan gave him, "You might want to be careful there, Jonathan." Daniel chuckled mischievously, "I might take advantage of 'free to touch me whenever you want'. Heh, I feel like that shouldn't be something you should tell a blind person." Though Daniel was very relieved that Jonathan was okay with it. Certainly Daniel felt the same way, "No worries though, same here. But you might want to give me a warning, you know, because I won't see you coming." He said as he lightly pat his hand upon Jonathan's chest, "Keep your beard then, it suits you."

 

It was really nice being with Jonathan like this. He was such a nice guy... So warm and seemingly perfect. "What seems small to you, like small gestures, mean a lot to me..." Daniel said, enjoying the other's warmth. Jonathan was tall enough that his head rested on top of Daniel's, much to his surprise. "You're so tall..." He murmured softly. This guy really was a giant teddy bear. He was so comforting... Daniel let his eyes close as the other rubbed his back. He felt like he was being pampered, something that he didn't feel often...

 

The blind male found himself at a loss for words. "Jonathan, you're too kind." He really was thankful. "I don't want to over stay my time, though if you really want me to stay a little longer, I will. You promised me a tour of your house, remember?" Daniel said, pulling away from the hug slowly. He had greatly enjoyed Jonathan's warmth and embrace... In fact, he felt that he had the best week, no, day he had in a long time. And to think, it was all thanks to Jonathan. "And you don't have to give me too much, really, save some for yourself. I don't need that much anyway." He said, which may have been a lie. He would have to check his refrigerator at home... It might be empty.

 

"I appreciate your hugs, I didn't realize that I needed them." Daniel said absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair. He felt all warm and fuzzy in Jonathan's presence. Practically anywhere and everywhere Jonathan had touched him felt warm and almost tingly. One thing was for sure, Daniel was certain that Jonathan... Made him very happy. And just knowing that made him a little nervous, made his heart race, and- Damn, if he wasn't too careful, he would blush. "H-hey," Daniel started to say, "Since we're still in the kitchen, why don't you pack the food while it's still hot. It can wait in the fridge. And... I suppose you can decide how much I have... But I have the feeling you'll give me all of it... So," Daniel let out a chuckle, "Have at it. Surprise me and don't tell me how much you're giving me, sound good Jonathan?" Daniel smiled fully, unlike any other time, showing off some purly whites.

 

Just being around Jonathan made Daniel want to smile- smile more and often. He couldn't fight off the vibe the other male gave him. Never had anyone warmed up to him so quickly, nor had he warmed up to someone else so easily. He usually found people to be awkward or nervous around him... And Daniel knew it was because he was blind. He knew people were not comfortable around him since he was blind. Sometimes he wished people would just tell him that they felt awkward around him. As much as it hurt Daniel, he would rather be told than to be lied to... Yet here was Jonathan, who was not affected by his blindness... So it seemed... "Say..." Daniel said softly, stepping to the side and reaching for the table near him. As soon as his hand made contact with the table, he leaned slightly. "You're not... You don't... I mean..." Daniel found it surprisingly hard to ask the question, even though he was just thinking about it... "It's not... awkward is it..? That I am... Well, you know, blind?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan blinked a few times until the words processed and a light blush came over his cheeks. "Well, my statement still stands." He chuckled, just brushing it off. Not like the touches would actually mean anything, he could just see them as accidental. The man smiled, making a small note again. "I'll be sure to warn you." He smiled, trying to be as considerate as possible. After all, he wished to give Daniel a good life, even if they barely knew one another... They already opened up about their secrets, there was nothing holding them back from being close, closer than he'd been with anyone - even his wife. Hell, the woman didn't know half of what he felt. Daniel, though... He felt like he could trust him. He wanted to trust him.

 

Jonathan smiled, letting Daniel pull away from the hug. "Then I'll give you a tour now." He said softly, gently taking his hand again, just like when leading him outside. At his next words, the man let out a laugh and shook his head. "I can always make myself more, it's definitely no trouble for me. I'd rather make sure you can eat rather than be greedy myself." He spoke, lightly caressing his hand. He had a feeling Daniel needed the food more than he did. Being blind was probably hard when it came to making food... He himself actually enjoyed it quite a bit, cooking and preparing food, which was obvious from how much he actually made. "Though I think I'll keep a bit more cake to myself. I think it came out really nicely." He grinned, hoping to create a lighter atmosphere.

 

Jonathan looked at the other as he suggested to pack the food while they were here. "Hm... I guess that's a good idea. Give me a minute." He smiled, letting go of his arm to go pack the food. He always kept the containers from take out, it was a weird habit of his. Putting food into it, he nearly emptied the pot, only leaving a small amount for himself to eat as a snack later. He packed the cake into a different container, putting in three considerable pieces. Placing the containers into the fridge one on the other, he turned back to his new friend when he began speaking again.

 

The question made him lose his balance for a moment. He fell silent before shaking his head, walking up to Daniel to lightly take his hand. "It's definitely not awkward." He reassured the other, hooking their arms together. "A bit... Different. But not awkward. Was it something I did?.. Am I making you uncomfortable?" Jonathan asked worriedly, cautiously loosening the grip on his arm. Perhaps he was being too familiar with him. Maybe Daniel didn't like something that he did, or said - maybe he didn't like to be pitied?

 

"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad." He apologized softly, gently placing his warm hand on top of the other's. "Do you still want me to show you the house or would you prefer to go home?" He asked, his voice gentle and warm, soothing even. He'd understand it if the other said he wanted to go home rather than stay. If such a question arose, it was probably because of something that he did... He just didn't know what.

[Exellda]

As Jonathan let go, Daniel felt a sense of loneliness surround him. It usually how he felt once he lost contact with people. Although it was more intense with Jonathan because Daniel no longer felt his warmth. He couldn't help but want more contact from the other. The other male's warmth couldn't be matched with a blanket, no... Jonathan couldn't be replaced so easily. The more Daniel thought about it, the more he began to realize he would probably always remember someone like Jonathan. He would bet Jonathan was warm even on the coldest day of winter... Daniel could only wish for such an ability.

 

Listening to Jonathan, Daniel could only guess how much food he was given. But more than likely, he knew Jonathan was giving him most of the leftovers. A small smile tugged at his lips when Jonathan mentioned taking more of the cheesecake. He didn't care, even though he liked cheesecake. It was Jonathan's and Daniel was very grateful that he shared it with him. "It was really good cheesecake, Jonathan, nice job." He complimented, enjoying the other's presence. If he was near the other, he supposed he would be okay. "Take you time." He said softly, enjoying the time, though small, he was spending with the other man. Before Daniel could stop it, time seemed to march faster than he had anticipated. Too soon he would have to go home.

 

The sudden warmth of Jonathan's hand was welcoming, but he could sense the other's worry. Did that really effect him? It seemed as if Jonathan was hurt by Daniel suggesting the idea as they hooked arms. As if he had never thought of Daniel's blindness being awkward. Surprisingly, Daniel actually found himself hurt that he would ask such a question. Jonathan didn't deserve this... Yet here he was, afraid he had caused him some displeasure... As he felt Jonathan's grip loosen, Daniel's free hand immediately flew right onto Jonathan's arm. "No, no... You're fine. You did nothing wrong. I'm more comfortable with you- ..." Daniel blurted. He himself was surprised by this quick action. Usually he wasn't so quick about something like this... But Jonathan just seemed so different... It just came out...

 

"N-no... Jonathan, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, to suggest that you feel awkward around me... I'm just very... Wary of my blindness... I really appreciate contact. I'm use to people being uncomfortable with my blindness... It's something I have to deal with, mostly alone..." Daniel admitted, "Usually, I find myself stuck between two types of people... Those who want to take advantage of me, like my father... Or those who-... Feel awkward around me or find me to be a burden... Being around someone who's blind and clingy, that's not something I guess people like to be around." Daniel huffed, his hand finally dropping back down to his side.

 

There was something about Jonathan that made Daniel want to express how he felt... Or maybe he had been holding it in so long, that it just came out. Either way, Daniel wanted someone to know... And apparently that would be Jonathan. "You... I am sure you know what it's like to be lonely, everyone is at some point of time... But have you ever imagined what's it's like to be blind and lonely..?" Daniel slowly unhooked his arm from Jonathan's and took a step back. "It's like I am talking to myself. Alone. How do I know I am not talking to myself? How do I know I am not really alone?" Daniel asks, mostly to himself as he raised his hand, extending it towards Jonathan but never touching him. "I can be in a room full of people and still feel utterly- unbearably alone..."

 

Again his hand fell back down to his side as he hung his head, as if defeated by the situation. "...I really hate it... I don't like feeling this way... But there's nothing I can do, you know? ...I can reach out all I want... But not all of the times can I reach far enough..." Daniel said softly, feeling a strong sense of emotion coming to him. Oh god... he was a burden wasn't he? Guilt tripping Jonathan... That's what he was doing. He found himself fighting the urge to tear up and cry... Daniel suddenly shakes his head, mentally criticizing himself for having a moment of weakness. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that... Maybe you should take me home after all..." He said before closing his eyes.

 

No, he wouldn't cry about something silly like this... No, he wouldn't break down in front of a man he just met. Hell, Daniel was sure friendship was out of the question. How could he think that it would work out? Be fine and dandy? No, that was never the case. He couldn't possibly... No... Just no... "Jonathan, I am sorry..." He whispers as he places both of his hands over his face, covering his face completely.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan frowned slightly, gently placing his hand on top of Daniel's when it was put on his arm. He stroked it lightly, letting the man talk. "You can be sure I don't want to take advantage of you nor do I feel awkward. I like being around you, Daniel. I'm just a bit more... Careful, I guess, than when I'm around people who can see. That doesn't mean hanging out with you is any worse." He smiled lightly, gently patting his hand. "I like being with you, honestly." He chuckled, tilting his head slightly. It really seemed like he caused the other to feel upset...

 

As their arms were unhooked and Daniel stepped back, Jonathan's heart dropped slightly. This... Really didn't feel good at all. A heavy sigh parted his lips when the man spoke some more, and then apologized. "Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong." He said softly and stepped closer, gently tugging his hands away from his face, lightly moving his fingers over his cheek. "I won't leave you alone without at least telling you, then." He promised, gently taking both of his hands, holding them gingerly in his own.

 

"I'll try to always be in your reach." Jonathan said, pulling him into yet another soft, warm hug. "Do you feel alone now?" He asked, gently holding him to his warm body. "Because I know I don't feel alone. At the very least, I feel like I'm with a friend. Daniel, I really... Really like being with you. It's weird, but I really feel like we'll end up being great for one another." He chuckled lightly, pulling away to lightly stroke his cheek. "As long as you want me, I'll be here for you. All you'll need to do will be to ask, and I'll come to be by your side." He said, gently cupping his cheek, lightly moving his thumb over the skin, adoring the softness of it.

 

Perhaps he was being creepy, but he was merely saying the truth. Daniel made him feel good... Like no one else did before. He wanted to do whatever he could to keep him happy. To keep him close. "And I'll always be here to listen to your troubles. Whether it's something big or something small, I'll make sure to listen and help however I can. That's... That's what friends do, right?" He smiled weakly, moving a bit closer. Hesitantly, he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "I'll try to be whatever you need..." Jonathan murmured, letting out a quiet sigh. He just wanted the people around him to be happy... Maybe then he could get his life together, too.

[Exellda]

When Jonathan said he did nothing wrong, Daniel just felt a little guilty about it. Sure the other male wouldn't think he hadn't been doing anything wrong... Jonathan seemed like the kind of guy who would assume the good in people. Much to Daniel's surprise it made him feel better that he would say that. It felt like he had been waiting to hear someone say 'it's not your fault'... Because Daniel had a habit of blaming himself- mostly as a result of his father's abusiveness- which usually led Daniel to making bad decisions... Like self harm. In that state of mind, Daniel felt weak. He couldn't stand up for himself sometimes...

 

Jonathan's words, mixed with the gestures he was doing was starting to make Daniel feel fuzzy inside. He let the other male take his hands away from his face and now he was holding them gently- as if Daniel's hands deserved to be treated so nicely... And then Daniel was pulled into a tender hug. If anything, Jonathan was going to hug Daniel to death, and Daniel was actually okay with that. Ever hug from this man made him feel better about himself and lightened his mood. He had to admit... He really didn't feel alone when Jonathan hugged him. "No..." He said softly, feeling like he was being absorbed. It was impossible to feel alone when someone was hugging him.

 

But after that, Jonathan began speaking again. As Daniel listened his chest felt tighter. His heart raced as he listened to what the other male was saying. A friend..? That made Daniel happier than he could say. Jonathan thought of him as a friend, even though they just met? It really was weird because... Daniel felt the same way. He wanted to believe that they really would work well together. More like, Daniel wanted to believe that meant something more- more than friends. But of course Jonathan probably didn't think that way, he had been married after all. Someone like Jonathan was too sweet and Daniel felt like he didn't deserve someone so nice anyway... That was what he thought as the other male pulled away from him and began to stroke his cheeks.

 

At this rate Daniel thought he would blush again. He really liked the contact Jonathan was giving him and every word he said had Daniel more and more tied around his finger. He wanted to tell the other male that he felt the same way. Everything Jonathan said, Daniel wanted to say in return. As Jonathan cupped his cheeks, thumbs brushing on his cheeks, Daniel could no longer hold back the light blush that formed onto his cheeks. "Jonathan..." He was so happy right now. The feeling he was getting was bubbling inside him. "Don't just do it to make me happy... Do it because it makes you happy too."

 

This moment seemed so perfect. Who knew he would be making a new friend today? Daniel felt absolutely giddy. "...Same... Same here..." He said, a small smile forming on his face. Then he felt Jonathan shift and Daniel held still, wondering what the other male was about to do. It was when Daniel felt Jonathan's lips on his forehead that he got his answer. "Friends..." Daniel said softly, almost in a dreamy state. And as he realized that Jonathan had kissed his forehead, his face suddenly bloomed into a deep red- a deep contrast from his pale face. He couldn't hide it if he tried. Daniel was baffled- truly baffled. He didn't know what to say to Jonathan. Perhaps it was the way his heart raced in an unfamiliar way..? The warmth from Jonathan distracted him? Or perhaps the fact the man had kissed his forehead?

 

By friends... Did Jonathan mean friends... Or friends with benefits..? Daniel felt like he was getting a mixed signal. Though, truth be told, Daniel knew Jonathan had only meant to be friends, nothing more. He couldn't help but to get his hopes up. "I... You... We..." Daniel shook his head. Jonathan got him good. "Thanks..." He tried to say, attempting to convey his thoughts into words. "You have no idea what that means to me... You really know how to make me happy, Jonathan. I don't know how you do it. You're very... I've never had a friend like you before." Daniel said, wanting to return the favor but not sure if he could or how he could manage it.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan smiled faintly as Daniel told him to do it to make not only him, but both of them happy. Thing is, his happiness really depended on the people around him. He was simply that kind of person who always put others first, and only then took care of himself. Perhaps it wasn't really the way it was supposed to be, but it was the way it came out for him. No matter what, he couldn't ignore the troubles of others... If he could, he probably wouldn't have helped Daniel as much as he did. And he sure as hell wouldn't be treating him like this right now.

 

After Daniel's cheeks, and not only, turned bright red, Jonathan really couldn't fight back a small chuckle. It didn't seem like the other was too angry about it, maybe just embarrassed. Which meant... That this was okay for him to do. He adored kisses, whether platonic or not. This he found to be a platonic kiss - purely something to express his feelings without having to use any more words. Besides, he already said a lot today.

 

Jonathan smiled as the other spoke, gently running his fingers over his cheek. "I'm glad I can at least make you happy." He said honestly, hooking their arms again. "Now, how about that tour I promised?" He grinned, gently tugging Daniel closer. He wanted to show the other around everywhere. It seemed like they were off to a good start, so Daniel could be returning... Jonathan was sure it would come in handy, at least until he moved out. Oh... He probably should've mentioned that, too.

 

"Hey, uh... I've actually been thinking about moving to another house at some point. You know, since this is... The one I lived with my family, it's just a bit... Err... Uncomfortable? I'm not sure how to describe it." He smiled weakly, slowly leading the other to the living room. "Well, you've been in this room already, but I figure it's worth showing around either way." With that, he began walking around it, letting Daniel touch and understand where what object was placed. He definitely took the time needed, showing the bigger objects - the TV, the couch, the coffee table, the cabinets... His living room was pretty spacious, but it could still be hard to get around. "Bathroom next?"

[Exellda]

Hearing Jonathan chuckle allowed Daniel to relax more. At least the other male didn't question him nor make fun of his blush. Daniel blushed like a girl- or so he was told. As far as he was concerned, even if he wanted to hide it, the blush couldn't be hidden. This made Daniel wonder if he should tell Jonathan about his 'dilemma' or not... But as he thought about it, he realized that it wouldn't matter. Jonathan didn't seemed bothered by it and if anything, he actually seemed happy or relieved that he had blushed. So he would leave it at that.

 

The blind male felt incredibly lucky to have met Jonathan. Nobody would have been more perfect. In fact, Jonathan was what Daniel needed. He hadn't felt this happy in a long time. He hadn't enjoyed being touched so frequently by one person after just meeting them before, until now... Every touch Jonathan gave him, Daniel would remember. He would remember this day too because today he had just made an important friend, one that he planned to keep. To be honest, Jonathan could just touch him, lead him somewhere and say nothing, and Daniel would still be satisfied. No words had to be said. As long as Jonathan didn't let go, Daniel would be happy.

 

Which is why when Jonathan pulled him closer, linking their arms together, Daniel let it happen. He allowed himself to be moved by Jonathan. A smile formed on Daniel's face as he lightly squeezed Jonathan's arm against him. Yeah... He was really lucky... And very thankful that Jonathan liked contact as much as he liked having contact. "You're... moving?" Daniel hummed, "Well, I would think that is a good step for your healing process. You know, starting anew is a good thing when you're moving on... But I get to visit you still, you hear?" Daniel chuckled and squeezed his arm again, "Now that I've got you- you cannot escape." He said, teasing Jonathan as he started to lead him back into, presumably, the living room.. There was some truth there. Daniel didn't want to lose his new friend.

 

"You probably could take me anywhere and I would be okay with it, as long as I have you to hold onto." Daniel commented as Jonathan let him feel around the living room. He was much more steady with someone to hang onto. This was much more comforting. It was hard to be lonely when you had someone to hold, someone warm, someone... Jonathan... "Sure, the bathroom seems okay." He nodded once he was done with the living room. He had already -mostly- memorized what it had looked like so it didn't take long. "So when do you plan on moving? Soon, I would think?" Daniel asked curiously as Jonathan was leading him to the bathroom. "I might be able to help." He offered, not entirely sure what he would be helping with, but nonetheless it was an excuse to hang out.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan smiled, letting Daniel pull him close by squeezing his arm. "I really wouldn't have it any other way." He said softly, a certain sense of appreciation and affection in his voice. He really couldn't imagine not letting Daniel visit, even in a different house. There was absolutely no reason to. He laughed quietly at the teasing, shaking his head. That he also didn't mind in the slightest. It felt nice to know that at least one person was always happy to be with him. It... Really eased him. With all that's happened to him, it felt like the world was turning against him. It really wasn't a nice feeling at all. He needed constant reassurance that he wasn't just trash, just something people could throw away easily... Because he felt like that, and a lot more often than he liked to admit.

 

Daniel gave him this warm feeling inside. He wasn't sure if it was the touches, or his words, but it really felt nice. "I don't know yet. First I want to find some sort of a house, probably smaller than this one... I don't really need anything big now that I'm alone, you know?" He chuckled, leading the other into the bathroom, carefully showing him around everything there. He had a big bath and a shower in the same room. That alone probably proved that he didn't quite struggle with money... No, didn't use to struggle.

 

"I don't really think there's something you could do to help... I mean, I'll gladly take you to something that I like to make sure it's comfortable for you as well, but otherwise... I think it'll just give me something to do. It's been a bit hard to distract myself from everything lately." He said quietly, looking away, even if Daniel couldn't see. He really had to get a grip already. It was time to get his life back in control. He had to find a job again... He was qualified, but he wasn't sure if people would still take in a recovering alcoholic.

 

The tour continued on to the bedroom. His double bed seemed to be cold, and unused. He hated sleeping there now. He preferred the couch. The bed reminded him too much of what used to be. "I don't think there's anything I... Um... Want to show you in the other bedrooms." His grip tightened a bit on the other's arm. The other bedrooms, of course, belonged to his daughters. Some of their things were still there and god, it hurt to just see them. He hated being this weak, but he simply couldn't get himself to overcome this.

 

Just remembering how much fun he used to have with them made him feel like something was stabbing him over and over again. Even more when he realized he hurt them, more than anyone else had... They didn't have their dad anymore, because he fucked his life up. Jonathan let out a shaky sigh, his lower lip trembling slightly. "I'm sorry, this just..." He muttered, shaking his head. It felt like they were dead by now. He knew he could probably get to see them again, but it really didn't help much right now. Right now it just hurt. He doubted he would ever really get over this mess. He wanted a family again, but his wife... His wife really didn't want him, it seemed. He could only wonder for how long she's been thinking about ending the marriage. Was his breakdown just a reason for her to finally do it? Was it just her breaking point?

[Exellda]

"Yeah, I understand." Daniel said after Jonathan mentioned that he would be needing a smaller home. "Though I am envious of the size of this bath- It feels very big." Daniel said as he felt around, seeing with his hands. He appreciated that Jonathan would show him around... Although he felt that maybe Jonathan was not ready for it. The gesture was a kind one, but Daniel didn't want to upset Jonathan by bringing bad memories back to him. But he had to admit, Jonathan lived a modestly wealthy lifestyle and Daniel might have been a little envious.

 

He let out a small sad sigh as Jonathan said he couldn't help, but then quickly turned it around once he had something fun to say, "Ah... I see. Well, then it might be a good thing you want to do that by yourself-" A smirk quickly grew onto his face, "Because I would distract you from your work. But really, Jonathan, I bet I could distract you." He said teasingly, though he did mean it in terms of actually helping Jonathan. Already he could feel the difference in Jonathan's mood, just by the way he was holding onto him.

 

Once he was done 'seeing' the bathroom, the tour continued onward... And the more they continued the more Daniel became unsettled. He could feel Jonathan's uneasiness. He could also feel that he wasn't ready yet... "Jonathan..." Daniel said softly once Jonathan's grip tightened. He could hear it in his voice... It was enough to make Daniel really worry for him, want to hold him and say that everything would be alright. Daniel didn't need to be able to see to know that Jonathan was upset and still not ready to talk about his past wife and kids.

 

So Daniel decided to take charge, "Alright, it's okay, Jonathan..." Daniel said, tugging on the others arm. "Let's go, big guy." He said as he started to pull Jonathan the other way, back into the living room. Once they were in the living room, Daniel unhooked his arm with Jonathan's, only to grab onto his warm hands. Then slowly, Daniel backed up, walking backwards. "Walk with me... One step at a time..." He meant it, metaphorically and physically. As he walked backwards, he bumped into the coffee table and would have lost his balance had he not been holding onto Jonathan's hands. The blind male continued to walk backward until the backs of his legs touched the couch and he suddenly sat down, pulling Jonathan too. "Sit with me for a moment, please."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

It was true, Daniel would probably distract him from doing his work. The man managed to distract him from a lot of things... Even now, although it still hurt like hell, he felt... Calmer, than if he'd been alone. He avoided the bedroom like the plague. Hearing the other call his name pulled a shaky sigh, his eyes closing tightly until his arm was tugged on. He let himself be led out of the room, presumably into the living room. While walking, he tried to focus on Daniel instead of the memories that were rising within him. God, would he ever get over himself?!

 

He took Daniel's hands when their arms were unhooked, tightening his grip whenever he found it at least a little bit dangerous. It was actually a bit similar to when teaching a kid to walk... He stumbled as he was pulled down, nearly falling on top of Daniel. That probably wasn't the smartest way to pull him down. Still, he sat down next to him, their legs nearly touching. He leaned down slightly, rubbing his face with both hands. "God, I'm really sorry. They just... They meant the world for me. It still hurts." He admitted quietly. Unconsciously, he leaned a bit closer, as if seeking some sort of support.

 

"It's pretty pathetic, huh?" He laughed weakly, pulling his hands away from his face. He stared right in front of him, his gaze dead. Hell, he felt dead inside. "Can you believe she already found someone else for herself? She just carried on with life, and... I... I just can't do it." He whispered, his shoulders trembling slightly. He felt weak. He was weak. He was such a disgrace... Thoughts like this came every day. Did he take his medicine? He felt like he forgot... He probably did. Was that why he was feeling so horrible, instead of just... Bad, like usually? It was almost funny. From the outside he looked strong, but if people could actually see into him... They would probably see a scared, lost child. That was how he felt. He was so goddamn lonely...

[Exellda]

From where he was sitting, Daniel could tell Jonathan had almost fallen on him. That wouldn't have been a bad thing had it been intentional. But as of now, Daniel could tell the other male was struggling and need some comforting. They both needed someone to fix them. Both of them were like broken pieces, shattered by their past and now looking for the parts that are still missing. But what if they were never meant to find the rest of the pieces? What if they were suppose to find someone who completed them as they were? What if... They were now like a puzzle with a missing piece? What if they were two pieces of a big puzzle, ones that needed to realize that they need each other to feel complete..?

 

That's what Daniel felt right now. He felt incomplete. For a long time now, he had been waiting to find someone he had potential to complete him... And for him to be able to complete someone else. And that person... That one person who made Daniel felt that way... Made his heart race, and made him want to hold him close... That person was a man named Jonathan. It was as if he had a pull towards the man. He was so gentle and kind. Any problem Daniel had, Jonathan seemed to accept it in stride... And Daniel wanted to do the same. He wanted to be the support Jonathan needed to believe in himself. With what Jonathan said, it sounded like his wife had been plotting to get rid of him for a long time... She was probably a cheater, and Daniel was sure that Jonathan had already thought about it... So he wouldn't mention it.

 

"I believe in you Jonathan. So don't say you can't do it." He said softly, tugging on Jonathan's shirt gently. "I am here for you, like you are for me. I know it must hurt, Jonathan..." He said as he started to shift. Now Daniel was sitting on his knees, facing Jonathan. With open arms, Daniel leaned towards the other male, he embraced Jonathan, pulling him closer until his head was against his chest and Daniel's arms were wrapped around him. "The past does hurt... But we can't change it... I know it hurts to think about it. But you're not alone now, Jonathan, I am here, with you... And I want to stay with you. I want to be there for you if you need me..."

 

Then Daniel started to sway slightly, as if he was rocking a child to sleep, "Just like you said... If you're there for me, I'll be there for you too. You don't deserve to be miserable. You have a great future ahead of you. A new opportunity to start anew... Even if it takes time Jonathan... You're not pathetic at all, to me. I already told you, you're strong, regardless if you think so or not... I will find a way to prove it to you. I promise." Daniel found himself unconsciously nuzzling his nose into Jonathan's hair. It was comforting to be by Jonathan, and he hoped he would feel the same. Daniel was trying to convey what he was feeling, what he was thinking about Jonathan. There was so much... so many things... He felt like he had known Jonathan for a long time. As if they had been friends all of their lives.

 

"You know... I feel the same way as you do..." Daniel said, rubbing Jonathan's back. "I might be a fool though... But I am sure you can hear it. My heart races around you, ever since I started to get to know you... And like you said, I too feel that... We'll get along just fine." Admitting that out loud made Daniel blush lightly, but truly, that's how he felt and it comforted him that Jonathan felt the same way. "You're not alone anymore... You got me."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan leaned into the soft touch willingly. He never refused any sort of physical contact, unless it was too intimate for his liking. And this... This really wasn't. He adored hugs. He let his eyes close, breathing out a bit shakily. Still, the thing was, he couldn't just move on. He left too big of a part of himself with his wife, and even more with his kids. Even if he started a new family, they would still mean so much to him... But it was nice to hear those words nevertheless. They calmed him down a lot.

 

A small smile formed on his face as Daniel began rocking him. The man seemed to know exactly what to do to make him feel good again. He chuckled quietly as the other nuzzled his nose into his hair, finding the sensation a bit funny. "I really can't see myself as strong... Just think about how I ended up. Depression, addiction... I lost my job, and I can't get myself to do anything about it." With a weak smile, he pulled away a bit, looking at Daniel. Sure, both of them were broken, but Daniel seemed to know how to pick himself back up. Jonathan, on the other hand, didn't know where to start even now.

 

Seeing the soft blush and hearing the warm, gentle words, it made something tug on his heart in the slightest way. His lips parted slightly, he got completely silent for a few moments, like he'd frozen. He wasn't entirely sure what got into him, but... Slowly leaning closer, he cupped Daniel's cheek and pressed his lips against the other's in the most gentle way. His lips, just as everything else on his body, were soft and gentle. He couldn't convey his feelings in words, so... This really was the only way. He didn't do it while understanding entirely what he was doing, but it didn't feel wrong. It felt... It felt really good. His eyes fluttered closed, his lips moving the slightest bit, almost shyly continuing the kiss. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do... If it was, he would learn very quickly.

[Exellda]

The blind male could only hope he was helping Jonathan, that his words meant something to him. It was unlike Daniel to warm up to someone so quickly... But there was something about Jonathan that Daniel simply couldn't help himself. He wanted to comfort him. He wanted to make him happy. Never, until now, had Daniel felt some kind of connection to someone... Like a pull, something pulling him towards Jonathan, making him feel better around him. Personally, he felt some kind of attachment to Jonathan. Maybe it was because they were both broken men? He didn't know, but what he did know, it was that he did like Jonathan to some degree... For some reason Jonathan made him really happy. He liked to hug the other male. It really was a relief to Daniel because, usually, when he hugged someone or someone hugged him, he felt awkward about it. Jonathan seemed to make everything better. Perhaps it was his personality or because he was just nice like that. Maybe it was the way he handled Daniel with care, touched him gently and seemingly touched him in a caring manner. The way Jonathan acted, the blind male couldn't help but want to believe that he had pure intentions... That he really was nice.

 

Being this close to Jonathan was also comfortable for Daniel. He liked how warm the man was, how big he was, what a teddy bear he was! To hear him laugh was a relief because it let Daniel know that his words were somehow working. A soft smile was on his face right now, just as Jonathan shifted. He wondered what he was up to but nonetheless held still. Although Daniel couldn't see Jonathan, he assumed that the other male was looking at him. He could feel his eyes on him, which made him nervous. He wondered what Jonathan was thinking... Daniel wondered what Jonathan saw... And just as Daniel thought about asking, Jonathan had cupped his cheek. Right then, Daniel could feel his heart race for reason he didn't know. It was like his body knew, but he didn't...

 

But one moment later, he learned. Daniel felt Jonathan's lips on his... Time had stopped in Daniel's mind. There was no one else but Jonathan... It was all the more real to him because of his blindness. His mind blanked. Never would he have believed someone, let alone Jonathan, would kiss him. Daniel thought Jonathan wouldn't have been interested in the first place... Considering that he had a wife. For all Daniel knew this could have been a mistake. However, he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by... Jonathan's lips were soft and warm against his... Daniel hesitated, wanting to encourage Jonathan yet he didn't want to pressure the other male. He liked the kiss, it matched Jonathan, soft, gently, sweet and even seemed shy like him too. It was kind of cute...

 

Shifting slightly, Daniel adjusted his arms, unsure of where to put his hands so he rested them on Jonathan's shoulder's. A small smile started to form on his lips as he pressed his lips into Jonathan's lips. By now his cheeks had heated up again, especially because Jonathan had kissed him. Then Daniel made the move to pull back from the kiss. He didn't move anything but two inches away from Jonathan. "W-well..." He stuttered softly, "I certainly didn't expect that... What a pleasant surprise..." A soft chuckle escaped him. He felt like he was shaking out of nervousness, but then he remembered that he had been holding his breath. He was so happy right now. Daniel hoped that Jonathan felt better because he felt amazing, like he was floating.

 

Right now, Daniel felt happy and complete... Silly to think but it was true. This stranger made him feel more happy then anyone else and shockingly in a short amount of time. Daniel could see himself hanging around Jonathan for a long time... "Um... Thank you..." He said shyly, not knowing really what else to say to Jonathan. That kiss... Daniel wanted another one but... What did it mean to Jonathan? Daniel really wished he could see his face, he wanted to see his reaction... And Daniel was scared to assume that it really meant anything, as much as he wanted it to. But he had to remind himself that he just met Jonathan... He couldn't help it though. There was something about him that Daniel found hard to ignore...

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan was slowly realizing exactly what he'd done. For a moment he panicked, ready to pull away and apologize, but... Daniel didn't seem to mind. Quite the opposite, actually - he was kissing back. The man's eyelashes fluttered closed as he leaned into the kiss, cherishing each passing moment of it. God... It'd been so long since he kissed someone. This was really nice, and knowing that the other liked it too, it gave him a sense of relief and calmness. He didn't dare deepen the kiss, though, keeping it light and soft for the time being. His hand stayed on the other's cheek, gently caressing the skin, letting himself get lost in the touch.

 

Everything came to and end, however. He didn't want to open his eyes, fearing that the perfection would burn out the moment he saw something. He was... He was still scared, of everything. And yet, hearing Daniel chuckle softly after speaking got him to open his eyes in surprise. Dear God, what a relief... "I'm, um..." He murmured hesitantly, unsure of what to say even. A soft smile bloomed on his face, however. Daniel sure was cute. Was he in love already?.. No, it couldn't have happened so quickly. But perhaps he was desperate to grip onto the one he found to like so that it didn't end like it did with his wife.

 

Jonathan's lips parted with a quiet chuckle as he ran a hand over Daniel's hair, gently pushing it back as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about what I did." He chuckled quietly, feeling like he was somewhere on a cloud. This didn't quite feel real. It was more of a dream... He wouldn't have minded having this dream every night. Hell, he'd sleep more if it meant he got to experience it more often... And if it wasn't a dream, he wasn't about to let go of his possible new future.

 

"I..." He couldn't find the words to express his feelings. Instead, he brought his arms around the young man and hugged him close, smiling into his shoulder. "Thank you, so much." He muttered, softly nuzzling his nose into his neck, a quiet, breathy laugh slipping past his lips. He felt... He felt happy. He couldn't really remember the last time he felt happy, at least this honestly. He doubted that a God existed, but if he did... He wanted to thank him for bringing the two of them together. Who knew, maybe Daniel was the one to save his life. "This'll probably sound weird, but... I'm kind of glad I knocked you over back then." He chuckled, closing his eyes. This really felt nice... He couldn't stop himself from getting close to Daniel, it was impossible.

[Exellda]

The blind male found a sense of comfort that he hadn't... ever felt before, even with his friend. Jonathan was such a swell guy... Daniel closed his eyes, not like it would matter, as Jonathan brushed his hand through his hair. He wasn't the type to put lots of product in his hair. So his hair was its natural softness, though only a 'Mohawk'. The reason he shaved his head, well, that was a story he would tell later. It was an enjoyable sensation. Daniel could fall asleep while being groomed, petted- whatever term. Probably if Jonathan kept doing it, Daniel would make himself comfortable and let him have fun with it while he fell asleep.

 

Jonathan's light laugh relaxed Daniel. He was happy that he could make the other male laugh, at what, he wasn't sure. Now that he thought about it, Jonathan must have been relieved that he hadn't gotten angry. If anything, Daniel wanted Jonathan to know that he was actually very happy... He blinked a couple times, not seeing anything and staring at nothing as he felt Jonathan's lips on his forehead. At first, he wasn't sure if that had actually happened, but he had no doubt. He hummed, "Hmmn, don't worry about it. Like I said, it was a very pleasant surprise. I don't mind surprises like that..."

 

Then suddenly, Daniel felt Jonathan pull him into another hug, which he promptly hugged him back. Daniel instinctively brought a hand up, getting his chance to run a hand through Jonathan's hair again. Jonathan's hugs were something Daniel would remember. The man simply hugged him nicely, in the most comfortablest of ways... Jonathan's hug, his warmth, his laugh, his voice... Daniel liked it all... He could only try to imagine what he really looked like. Oh, how he wished to see, if but for a moment, just to see this man... A soft blush heated Daniel's cheeks as he felt Jonathan nuzzle his neck, goodness he wished he didn't blush so easily. He felt goofy about it, recalling that men usually didn't blush much... He really was a girl. Mentally cursing himself lightly, Daniel let out a soft sigh, a smile coming onto his face.

 

Well he didn't know why Jonathan was thanking him but, "You're welcome, Jonathan. Anytime." Daniel said, really and truly meaning it. After hearing another laugh escape Jonathan, right next to his neck and tickling it, Daniel attempted to hide the shiver that shot through him. While he did try to hide it, if Jonathan so happened to catch on, he would suck at hiding it as his face was still a light pink. A laugh escaped Daniel as he listened to what Jonathan said. It was ironic, wasn't it? Although, Daniel was just as happy about it, even if it had been inconvenient at the time. "Makes me think of a pick-up line I heard once... Suppose it could apply, although truth be told it is a little tacky- so bare with me. You could say that..." Daniel smirked mischievously, "I fell for you the first time we met." He giggled.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jonathan laughed, shaking his head. "Well, maybe I'll do surprises like this one more often in the future, then." He grinned playfully, glad the atmosphere was still light and calm. He would've hated for them to become awkward with one another, especially considering that he would still have to take Daniel home afterwards. Of course, that wasn't the main reason. He liked Daniel a lot, which was pretty obvious with what he had the courage to do. He'd never really been a believer in love at first sight, but this had to be it.

 

Jonathan didn't miss the way Daniel's cheeks reddened, but before he could tease him about it, he was slapped in the face with a terrible pun. He groaned, pressing his forehead against the other's chest. "Jesus, I cannot stand puns." He whined, but let out a quiet sigh soon after and instead pressed another quick peck to Daniel's lips. He smiled against his skin, gently nuzzling his beard into his neck. He didn't want to let go, honestly. Surely, it was far too soon for him to ask Daniel to stay, and it would be incredibly awkward, but he wanted to spend more time with him.

 

"I... Sorry if this is a personal question, but you've been blind from birth, right? Have you ever tried to search for ways to... Maybe get your eyesight?" He asked softly, as he'd heard some things about surgeries and cures, but he wasn't too certain they were actually real. Besides, he was sure Daniel was used to leading a life like this. "Don't take it the wrong way. It just seems like seeing would be an experience worth getting, right?" He chuckled a bit nervously, mentally cursing himself out in all ways possible. This was definitely not something he should've mentioned at all.