白鳥と虎 : Hakuchō to Tora

October 16, 2015

教えてください、私は忘れてしまいます。

見せて、私は覚えていてもよいです。

しかし、私を伴う、と私は理解します。

Oshietekudasai, watashi wa wasurete shimaimasu. Misete, watashi wa oboete ite mo yoidesu. Shikashi, watashi o tomonau, to watashi wa rikai shimasu.

Drifting...falling away to a quiet place, where no one else resided but a single, solitary soul. Undisturbed by the world's problems and worries, the mundane parts of every human life...That was the one wish, the one thing that Amagumo Shiromizu wished for. But never could his longing be fulfilled, for such a thing could never be reached...not unless he isolated himself from the rest of the world, and cut himself off from all ties to humans altogether. Something he couldn't do, no matter how hard he tried.

At that particular moment, Amagumo could be found laying on his back, floating in the middle of a large body of water, his eyes closed and a tranquil look upon his face. His strangely colored white hair looked like semi-clear jellyfish tentacles in the water, and his skin had a translucent appearance to it as well. He looked as if her were quite comfortable just floating there, almost seeming as if her were asleep. Some might think that if they saw him, not moving, just...floating. Not doing anything at all.

Even though he knew he had places to be, he just didn't feel like it that day. It was about to be break anyways, so why bother going to school when the next day and the week after he would be out of it? To be honest, he hated school, and if he could he'd just drop from it, but there was something that was keeping him there. The swim club. Because of the Iwatobi Swim Club, Amagumo went to school, endured pointless classes. Because of the others on the team, he actually had friends, something that he doubted he'd ever have if it weren't for the club. He risked skipping that day because he already knew what was going on in the club activities, they weren't going to have any practices that week because Gou was going out of town for a family thing, and Rei was as well. They were simply told to keep up with their own personal training, and be in good condition when they all got back after vacation.

The pool in which Amagumo was swimming at that moment wasn't actually a pool, but the pond at a park. A public park. And even more odd was the fact he was wearing clothes. His school uniform to be exact, which contained of a short sleeved white button up shirt, and a green tie, and dark tan pants. His black jacket was tossed on the ground, along with his shoes; same with the pants, which under he wore his swimming jammers.

He was getting weird looks by people who were walking past on the path that led through the large park, but none stopped to talk to him. Several already knew who he was, and knew that this kind of behavior coming from Amagumo was normal. So, instead, they just moved on, leaving the teen in his dream like state of being, and let him float in the water to his heart's content. A young woman who had passed by earlier, about ten minutes or so, knew Amagumo well, as she happened to be his neighbor, and left a dry, folded towel next to his clothing and school bag, as well as a dry white shirt.

Amagumo sighs as he lay there, cracking his eyes open just a tiny margin, gazing up at the serene blue sky, with it's soft fluffy white clouds floating among the expanse of eternity, the reflection of that beautiful scene showing upon the surface of the lake around him, making him feel as if he were floating in the middle of not a lake, but the sky itself. A flock of birds fly up ahead, and Amagumo closes his eyes again, before shifting slightly, so that he began to drift slowly along in the water.

General Information:

Name: 白水, 雨雲

Name Translation: Shiromizu, Amagumo (White water raincloud)

Nickname: Ame, Ama-chan

Age: 17

Birthday: December 20th

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Japanese

Home Country: Kyoto, Japan

Sexuality: Confused

Position: Uke

Occupation: Student, Part time worker at a grocery store

Affiliation: Iwatobi Swimming Club, Iwatobi High School

"Animal Symbol": Swan

Appearance:

Height: 5' 5"/ 167.64 cm

Weight: 117 lbs/ 53.07 kg

Eyes Has light silver grey blue eyes, with longish white eyelashes. Often has a faraway, or "not all there" appearance in his expression. As if he's physically there, but his mind is in a far away place. Has thin eyebrows, that are also light silver in color.

Hair: Longish white hair, that is slightly wavy

Skin: Pale ivory, that doesn't tan very much, though at the same time, doesn't burn either

Body: Thin, but fit

Markings/Tattoos/Scars/Etc: Has a long scar on his lower back

Clothing: School uniform, his swim outfit (swimming jammers) is black with a white, silver, and light blue design down the side, the end being just above the knee. When he isn't in school he wears either the white outfit in the picture, or something casual, like a t-shirt, and a pair of pants or shorts. Nothing fancy. However sometimes he does dress nicely and wears a button up shirt, a tie, and a vest, often checkered or with some design, and nice pants.

Close up pic:

Jewelry/Etc: A locket that he got from his mother

Other: Likes pins and other things like it

Sports Stats:

Style: All, but mainly free and breaststroke

Stamina 4/5

Body: 3/5

Mental Strength: 4/5

Water Repellency: 5/5

Logic: 2/5

Smile: 3/5

Desired Sports Stats:

Stamina: 5/5-7/5

Body: 5/5

Mental Strength: 7/5

Water Repellency: 6/5

Logic: 5/5

Smile: 6/5

Personality: A bit on the shy side, Amagumo is one who doesn't care one way or another about what is going to happen in the future, as long as he can be, do, and live how he wants. He is kind of like Haruka in a way, except a bit more introverted, and much harder to get to know, or get to open up to. However, when he does open up to you, he's a tiny margin more talkative, but even then he's still quiet, though you'd definitely notice the difference. He loves swimming just as much as the rest of the team, and always has simply floating on his back in the middle of the ocean on a hot summer day on his mind. He's a team player, and definitely a follower, not a leader. He can always be counted on, despite his appearances.

Saying: 時々私は私が海に離れて浮くことがしたいです。私は沈黙の中で生きることができますこの方法 "Tokidoki watashi wa watashi ga umi ni hanarete uku koto ga shitaidesu. Watashi wa chinmoku no naka de ikiru koto ga dekimasu kono hōhō." (Sometimes I wish I could float away to sea . This way I can live in silence.)

Extras/Other:

-Loves cooking all kinds of food, especially from different countries

-Has a pet rabbit named Musō-ka

-Likes to draw, especially shoujo, shounen, etc.

-Likes to paint too

-Is often seen by himself

-His favorite anime to watch are SoL, Shounen, and Sports.

-He lives alone in a small two story house, as his mother and father are both deceased.

-His strongest subjects in school are English and History, and his weakest subjects are Math and Science

Theme Song(s):

October 16, 2015

A bright day followed a not so serene night for Kazuya who was still sleeping like a log in his bed.

Next to him his roommate and childhood friend Makoto was trying to wake him up.

”Hey, Ka-chan. Wake up, hey!!” Makoto yelled.

Kazuya stretched his arm towards Makoto and he pushed him on the bed.

“Stop it, would ya?” Kazuya said with his one eye open.

“It’s time you get up. You have a deadline,remember?” Makoto said and he tried to get up in vain.

“You’re too heavy, Kazuya.” “Take your arm off of me, I have to get up.” he complained.

“My arm stays and so are you.” he said

“Gimme a minute to wake up and stop yelling!” he continued as he turned on his left side and he placed his head on Makoto’s lap.

“Pfff, fine, fine.” he said a bit annoyed.

Makoto felt Kazuya’s hair tickling his skin and let a small chuckle out.

Kazuya started stretching his body and he finally mustered his strength up and he got out of bed.

“When did you get home last night?” Makoto asked.

“I dunno, maybe 0500, 0600 a.m. ,you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.” Kazuya replied.

“Being a DJ is an exhausting work, it seems.” Makoto commented.

“It’s fun too actually.” Kazuya added as he headed to the bathroom.

Kazuya took his clothes off and he got into the bathtub.

While lathering his hair up, he dawned on him that he forgot to bring a towel with him.

“Hey, Mako, bring me a towel, I’m finishing up here.” he shouted at Makoto who was in the kitchen making a cup of tea for him and a cup of coffee for Kazuya.

He rushed to the bedroom, he opened a drawer and he grabbed a towel he then headed to the bathroom.He slightly opened the door and he handed him the towel with his eyes closed.

“There! Come to the kitchen afterwards, I made you a cup of coffee.” Makoto said.

Kazuya thanked him and he wrapped the towel around his waist.

A bit later he headed to the kitched where Makoto was.

“What up with the shyness?” “You haven’t seen yourself naked before?” Kazuya asked.

“You’re not me.” Makoto replied.

“Care to explain?” Kazuya asked while sitting in a chair next to Makoto.

“Nevermind. A dummie like you would never understand.” Makoto said in a teasing way.

It was true though, Kazuya’s body was nothing like Makoto’s.

A pure white, well-built body decorated with tattoos, graceful, long arms and hair fluffier than a cloud.

Makoto’s figure was slender, just slender but that never bothered him.

“Dummie? I’ll show you who the dummie is.” he got up and he approached Makoto.

He stretched his arm out and he ruffled his hair leaving Makoto staring at him.

Kazuya and Makoto were always like this. They grew up together in the same neighborhood, they went to the same school, they went through a lot together, they supported each other and then they decided to move in together after Kazuya was kicked out of his parents’ house due to the lifestyle he chose to follow.

He left and he forgot the past as well as his parents. Makoto was there for him though, he had already found a job in a restaurant as a waiter. Kazuya was collaborating with various artists as a support member at

the time, he sometimes worked as a DJ and he also wrote songs for other artists. He had many acquaintances but only one friend, Makoto. The money was enough to make ends meet so they rented an apartment near Shibuya station because this location was close to the restaurant Makoto worked.

Kazuya sat down again, he grabbed his cup of coffee and took a couple of sips.

Makoto got up and he headed to the bedroom to get dressed because he had to go to work when he heard a husky voice behind him

“Are you coming late tonight?” Kazuya asked.

“I don’t think so.” Makoto replied.

“I’ll be here around midnight as always.” he went on.

Makoto bid Kazuya goodbye as he headed to the door but then he suddenly turned around

“Don’t forget about the deadline,ok?” Makoto said in hurry.

“OK, OK , leave now!” Kazuya said teasing him.

Kazuya had to hand over 4 new songs he was asked to wrote and he had only two days left.

He was done with the 3 of them but he couldn’t decide how the rhythm for the last song was going to be like so he decided to take a long walk and think about it.

He opened his wardrobe and he laid a few clothes on the bed.

A pair of torn black chain skinny jeans, a black

t- shirt with a stamp of a tiger on it. He also had a pair of black boots waiting for him at the front door. He loved jewelry so he put a ring on his index finger and on his middle finger he also put a chain bracelet as well as a black beaded bracelet on his right hand. He sprayed a small amount of cologne on his neck and he got dressed. His hair had already dried and he headed to the door.

He put his cell phone in his pocket and he then grabbed his keys and his pack of cigarettes that was lying on a table near the front door. Kazuya never smoked inside the apartment because Makoto couldn’t stand the smoke and the smell. He put his shoes on and he headed out locking the door behind him.

He got out of the apartment building and he immediately lit a cigarette.

He liked wandering around till his attention was caught by a huge park with a small pond and he decided to get closer. While getting closer, he noticed something inside the pond but it wasn’t moving.

He rushed there and he saw a boy with his eyes closed floating on the water.

He put his cigarette out and he tried to get the boy out of the water.

Name: Yukizono Kazuya

Age: 22

Birthday: August 19th

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Japanese

Hometown: Kyoto, Japan

Sexuality: Questioning

Position: Seme

Occupation: Musician

Smoking: Yes

Likes: Music, long walks, tattoos, piercings, art, swimming, traveling, jewelry

Swimming Technique: Backstroke

Animal Symbol: Tiger

Appearance:

Height: 5’10’’ / 1.78cm

Weight: 143 pounds/ 65kg

Eyes:Black

Hair:Black with the sides shaved

Skin:Pale White

Tattoos: 11

Piercings:3

Clothing: skinny jeans, boots, t-shirts.

Swimwear: Black low-waist,mid-long swimming trunks

Other: He frequently paints his nails black and he is smoker.

Personality: He is dominating, always marking his territory; he can get quite obsessive at times.

He always speaks his mind, he is not afraid of defending others as well as himself.

He enjoys solidarity. He isn’t talkative. If he doesn’t like someone, he will show it.

He loves any form of art and he likes to talk through his art. Most people are afraid of him because of his looks but once you get to know him, you’ll see how dependable and trustworthy he is.

He currently lives with his childhood friend and roommate, Shinohara Makoto in Tokyo,Japan.

October 16, 2015

一人にしてください。空虚と虚しさの永遠の至福に離れて漂流し、孤立したままにします。

Bliss. Warmth and coolness at the same time. A gentle breeze, carrying the scent of the flowers in the park. The sound of birds singing in the trees. The melody of the water all around, a lullaby lulling him into a drifting sleep. And the peace that was felt just floating, not a care in the world, in the reflection of the sky up above, feeling as if he were suspended in the vast expanse of blue and white. The only person all around, alone, the world simply a void, empty of everything and anything.

Why couldn't things always be this way? Simple and quiet, serene and enjoyable? Was school really necessary? He was going to graduate soon, even with missing a few days here or there, he knew he'd pass...so why? One of the reasons were the others...Haruka, Rei, Makoto and Nagisa...those four were his friends, as well as Gou and her brother Rin, whom he'd met once on a team training trip. He had friends, and that was the reason he stayed...but was it good enough? He doubted that staying at a place he did not like, for that of five people was good enough...but then again, why was he doubting it? Was that a good thing? Maybe...maybe he was better off not thinking about it...let the thoughts drift away, like the water he was in...it was better to let his mind rest, and to just relax...

However, that was soon interrupted by the sound of something on the shore of the lake. Amagumo first ignores it, but the sound seemed to be moving closer. Why was that? He opens his eyes, turning his head just slightly to look over at the edge of the lake, surprised to see a man standing there, and it looked as if he were trying to get to him, and make him get out of the water. The white haired teen simply moves his body a bit, drifting away from where the man was, and at one point gracefully ducks under the water, disappearing from view. The spot where he'd gone under was barely disturbed, next to no ripples indicating he'd gone beneath the surface, almost as if he'd simply melded with the water itself.

The ones who managed the park did an amazing job at keeping the place spotless, there was no trash to be seen, the grass was the greenest ever, and even the leaves upon the trees and plants all around were perfect, not a single dead one to spot out. The flowers were bright and vibrant, the benches perfectly painted, as were the tables that were in a shaded area. The most beautiful spot was the lake, where at the very center was a pretty fountain, shaped in the visage of a swan. For a lake at the public park, the water was actually very clean, like that of a natural spring, fresh and crystalline. Nature's made mirrors some might say.

Even so, it was a little hard to see where Amagumo was at that moment, and the seconds were ticking by, and still the pale teenager still did not resurface. Some might think that the boy had drowned, as the mere seconds turned to past half a minute, then a full minute, but still no sign of Amagumo anywhere. However, he had not drowned, no, he was merely drifting beneath the waters surface now, staring up at the sky from below, the view a distorted picture of ripples, as oif the water were a warped plane of glass, revealing another world to him. Amagumo had quite the set of lungs, and knew how long he could hold his breath. Though, the ones walking past, and the man at the shore might not know this fact.

October 17, 2015

Kazuya was surprised to see him moving out of the blue and he then stared at him while he was going beneath the surface.

“Did I give him a scare? Maybe.” He thought.

Kazuya was glad to see that the boy was fine so he decided to leave.

“Kids…” he said and let a sigh out.

A few steps away from the lake, he turned around just to see that the boy was still underwater.

“You gotta be kidding me….” Kazuya thought.

He rushed back to the lake, he took his boots off and then his t-shirt inside which he placed his keys, cell and pack of cigarettes, he then hid it among some bushes and without second thoughts he dove in the water. He kept going and going, he was determined to find that boy.

The combination of water and sunlight made his body glowing and his tattoos seem to be darker than usual.

He kept swimming till he spotted riffles on the water and he decided to swim towards them.

After a few seconds he spotted the boy who seemed to be looking at the sky kind of lost.

Kazuya got closer to him.

“Hey, kid.” He shouted.

October 18, 2015

何かを願うことは、常にあなたが望む結果を得ることはありません。時にはあなたが望まないにも関わらず、外出する必要があり、それを自分で行います。

It was nothing like this before. Ripples and shifting in the water, much like the fabric of time and space, constantly changing and never ending. Life itself was something unpredictable, you would never know what was going to happen next, despite planning and seeking answers, foraging for the way to getting on the right path. For things like this, one must always be ready for the inevitable, the unknowable, and the unanswerable. That, in itself, was something Amagumo didn't like, not knowing...but at the same time, not knowing was better than knowing everything...an honesty that he could deal with, quite easily.

Underneath the water's surface, as he lazily floated around, he feels a disturbance in the flow of the lake's consistency, and wonders what was going on. After a moment, he realizes that the man from before, on the shore, must have gotten into the lake, supposing that he might be worried that Amagumo had somehow drowned, or was not okay. Of course, anyone might think that, he'd been beneath the surface for nearly two minutes. The man moves closer, but Amagumo simply swims away, though not very far. Hearing the shout, he resurfaces, and looks at the man swimming towards him.

"What do you want?" He mutters, though was pretty sure that the man could not hear what he said, considering he'd pretty much whispered the question. Why was this guy so concerned about what he was doing? Wasn't it obvious that he was fine, by how everyone else was simply walking past? He was guessing that the guy might work for the park or something like it, and was told to get him out of the lake. Though why it was a problem now was beyond his knowledge. Maybe it was because school wasn't quite out for the day? That was probably it.

Before the man could reach him, he swims to the shore, and gets out, water dripping off him, his white shirt soaked, and his bangs having water droplets fall with every movement he made. Going to the tree that had his things at the base, he picks up the towel that was left for him by his neighbor, and dries off his hair, before taking off the soaked shirt, and exchanging it for the dry one. Buttoning it up, he then slips on his socks and shoes, not bothering to put his pants back on, instead folding them up and putting them in his school bag, zipping it shut. He glances back at the lake, longing for the water shining in his eyes. All he wanted to do was relax, but he couldn't do that now.

For now, he would just sit out in the breeze, allowing the rest of his body to dry off before heading home. Sitting beneath the tree, his gaze upon the lake, he looks to the man, wherever he was now, wondering why the guy had done what he did. Was it out of concern that he'd gone into the lake after him? Or was it something else? One may never know the actions of others, just as others might never understand why Amagumo did what he did, it was a fact of life. But one thing was for certain. He did what he did for mainly one reason. Because it was what he longed for. That freedom to choose his own footsteps, to do what he wanted. Not what others wanted.

Now that he was out of the water, he wondered if the guy was going to lecture him or talk to him. Though, now that he thought about it, why would he? He got out of the lake...Sighing softly, he gazes up at the sky through the foliage of the tree, the light filtering down tinted a green color from the leaves. Why? One of the biggest questions that Amagumo always asked...so why?

October 19, 2015

Kazuya saw the boy swimming to the shore and he swam back to the shore as well.

He got out of the water and he walked towards the bushes he had left his things at.

“Damn it, I’m soaking wet.” he thought and he gazed at the kid with a pissed off look on his face.

He sat down with his back against the trunk of a big tree.

He put his t-shirt on, he lit up a cigarette and he grabbed his cell.

“Is Makoto’s shift over yet?” he wondered while pulling a little smoke into his mouth.

He didn’t want to bother him at work. His manager was very strict and didn’t want him to lecture Makoto.

“I’ll text him instead.” he blew out the smoke and with the cigarette hanging from his mouth he started typing.

“I’m at the park near our apartment, the one with the lake.

Bring me a pair of pants, I’ll explain later.”

Kazuya hit the send the button and he saw that the message was delivered.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and he held it between his index and middle finger.

Kazuya’s cell phone beeped and it was a message from Makoto.

He opened the message and it was Makoto saying that his swift was over and that he’d be there in like 10 minutes.

“I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say.” These were the last lines of Makoto’s message.

Kazuya chuckled and felt relieved.

He looked at the kid and he stared at him from head to toe.

“What up with you, kiddo?” he asked the boy.

“That was some action back in the lake. You swim very fast.” he said and waited for a reply.

October 20, 2015

多分それは私達が私達の可能性を最大限に知らないことが最善です。私たちが目指し続けるために何かを持っているこの方法。

Deep down, in the depths of one's heart, they must know that things do not always go as planned. And for some people, that happens on a daily basis, even maybe more than once in a single day. Despite this fact, we keep going, striving for something more, for something we're always reaching for, just out of sight. What is it? One person might say that it has a bit to do with their love life, or maybe how things are going in their personal lives. Or perhaps it is life in general that they are reaching for, desperately grasping at straws just to get by. We all know how it feels, to walk around blind, unsure of what is waiting for us around the corner or beyond the next door. But, for some reason...we keep going.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Amagumo sighs softly, feeling a warm breeze rush past against his skin, tugging at his hair and helping it dry. Despite having his eyes closed, he could hear footsteps as they moved close to where he was sitting under the tree, wondering if they belonged to the man who had come in to the water after him. Sure enough, he heard a voice speaking to him, and when he opened his eyes, it was indeed the man. Honestly, he'd hoped the guy would have just left, but there was nothing going now.

"What do you mean, 'what is up with me'? There is nothing 'up'. And of course I am fast...Why wouldn't I be." He says this matter of fact like, his voice low and rather shy sounding. All the while that he spoke, he doesn't look at the man who was standing there, instead his eyes were locked on the lake behind him, trying to not fidget as he sat there, a little nervous talking to this complete stranger. The hand that wasn't holding on to his cell phone was picking at the grass he was sitting on, pulling one blade at a time, then tossing it aside just to pick another.

What about you...Why did you go in the water?" Pretty simple question, and he already was guessing the reason was because the guy had thought he had been drowning. Even so, despite how obviously uncomfortable he was about this entire situation, he wanted to know exactly why the man had gone into the water after him. It was a little hard for him to explain why exactly he was so curious, but it was there, and he'd ask again and again if need be to get the answer out of this man.

At his question, he finally looks up at the other male, his clear silvery blue-grey eyes looking directly at him, his face having a blank expression, thin white eyebrows raised slightly in the tiniest way of curiosity, snow white hair framing his face, his bangs falling gently over his forehead, draped carelessly across the bridge of his nose. His phone starts to vibrate in his hand, but he completely ignores it, his focus entirely on the guy standing in front of him.

October 20, 2015

Kazuya grinned while listening to the boy talking. He really thought we wasn’t gonna get an answer.

The boy seemed quite nervous.“He is not used to talk to strangers, of course not.”

Kazuya thought to himself. He may shouldn’t have bothered him in the first place.

He suddenly heard the boy talking to him and he even looked at him.

He was really taken aback by that but he kept his cool and he responded.

“I think you know the answer to this, why would someone dive in some cold lake, swim behind you and try to get you out?” Kazuya said.

He maintained eye contact with the boy and he felt a mix of emotions filling his heart.

His face and eyes felt familiar to him.

Kazuya heard something like a cell vibrating but he knew he didn’t come from him so he asked the boy.

“Aren’t you gonna pick up? ” Kazuya said still maintaining eye contact.

A few moments later, Makoto appeared and he approached Kazuya.

“What happened to you?” Makoto asked while handing him a pair of black jeans.

“Long story.” he replied.

“I’m gonna go change and once I’m back we’re going home.” Kazuya said.

Kazuya headed to a place where the vegetation was so thick, there was no way for someone to spot him.He took his pants off as well as his underwear, he put the dry pair of jeans on and then he squeezed both his underwear’s water as well as the soaked pant’s water out. He then put his underwear in the back pocket of the soaked pants, he folded his pants and he held it in his hand. He then started walking towards where Makoto and the boy were.

Meanwhile, Makoto stared at the boy, noticing that he too was wet plus he had his swimsuit on.

“Hi, are you a friend of Kazuya’s?” “I’m Makoto.” Makoto introduced himself and he waited for the boy to respond.

October 20, 2015

我々はのために努力のすべてにもかかわらず、私たちは離れてから実行することはできません我々は逃れることはできない運命と運命があります。

It wasn't much to ask. Neither was it a very hard thing to achieve. That first word, that first thing one might ask another when they start talking to each other, despite not knowing who the other person was. It's a funny thing really. Meeting new people, acknowledging another person's existence, when moments before you had no clue that they existed, and now you do, making conversation, getting to know them. Then you will figure out if you wish to continue getting to know them, or simply walk away and forget that you ever had that meeting. It all depends on your preferences, what you looked for in a person, if they were able to impress you or gain your interest. It is a funny thing really, the fate of encounter.

Hearing the explanation of why the man had gone into the water confirmed his own guess, but he does not reply by saying that was indeed what he'd thought. Instead he remains silent, though the quiet was interrupted by the guy asking if he was going to answer his phone, which was vibrating again. Glancing down at the cell in his hand, the light on the front lighting up, he presses a button, turning it off. It wasn't important most likely, and they could wait. To be honest, Amagumo didn't like using a phone, he only kept it to be able to get into contact with the others on the swim team.

More footsteps could be heard approaching, and he looks towards the sound as another male came towards them, apparently an acquaintance of the one who'd gone into the water after him. Sure enough, the new comer held out a pair of pants to the other man and exchanged some words with him, who takes them before dismissing himself to change. Pale blue grey eyes followed the path that the first man had taken, before turning his attention to the one remaining, who's eyes he could feel staring at him.

A question was asked of him, and he shakes his head. "No, I don't even know him. So, we're not friends." He suddenly stands up, and picks up his things, glancing one last time at the man who'd introduced himself as Makoto. A small grin couldn't help itself from slipping onto his lips, as he knew another Makoto. But just as quickly as the smile had appeared, it disappeared. "I'm Shiromizu. I've...got to go. Tell, um, Kazuya was it? Tell Kazuya I said thank you."

Placing the strap to his messenger bag onto his shoulder and checking if he had everything, he begins to walk away, having seen said Kazuya walking back towards where he and Makoto had been waiting under the tree. A few droplets of water still remained in his hair, and dripped down the side of his cheek, pausing for a moment at his chin before falling to the ground below. It had taken all his nerve to even reply to Makoto, his heart was beating fast in his chest, and he felt faint in the head. However he was glad it hadn't shown, Amagumo had gotten good at hiding his true emotions and what he was feeling behind a blank slate of his face, void of any spark of emotion.

Slowly, he walks in the opposite direction, not sure if he wanted to head home or not. Pausing at the sidewalk, he glances back towards the lake, ignoring the weird looks he was getting from people passing by as they looked at him. He probably looked strange, walking around in a button up white shirt, and a pair of swimming jammers, but Amagumo didn't care. For the most part, he didn't really give two thoughts about what people might think about him or what he did. But right then, he was wondering maybe...maybe he should start changing. Opening up to people. That would definitely be a good thing...right?

Sighing, he shakes his head, not realizing that in his haste to get away, he'd left his phone in the grass by the base of the tree. Heading down the sidewalk, he hurries away, clutching his bag in a protective way, head ducked down slightly, keeping an eye on the path he was taking, barely paying attention to the others who were around him. Maybe it would be best if he just went home for now...And before he knew it, he was standing in front of the nice two story house, that he lived in by himself. Well, he wasn't completely alone, he had his rabbit Musō-ka, and for Amagumo...that was enough.

Reaching into his bag, searching for his keys, he only then realizes that he'd lost his phone. "Darn..." He murmurs to himself, guessing he probably left it at the park. Deciding to let it go as a lost cause, he unlocks the door and opens it, heading inside, kicking off his shoes and then sitting on the couch in the front room, relaxing for now, the shirt he'd been wearing now draped over the back of the armchair next to the couch he was lazing on.

October 21, 2015

Kazuya returned back to where the kid and Makoto were but he noticed that the boy wasn’t there anymore.

“The kid?” Kazuya asked.

“He left just a few minutes before you appear.” Makoto replied and continued.

“He also told me to thank you.”Makoto said and looked at Kazuya

“Does that thank you have to do with you getting soaked?” Makoto asked.

“Let’s get going and I’ll explain it all to you.” Kazuya said and he gestured Makoto to walk with him.

A few steps they walked and Kazuya noticed a cell phone on the grass.

He picked it up and he was sure that it was the boy’s cell phone.

“What do you have there?” Makoto asked.

“That kid forgot his cell phone here. Too bad I don’t know his name.” Kazuya said a bit disappointed.

“I only got his surname but I don’t think that’s going to help us find him.” Makoto commented.

Kazuya put the cell phone in his pocket.

“I’m sure our paths will cross again and I’ll make sure to give it to him.” Kazuya seemed determined.

The two guys were on their way home and while walking Kazuya stopped.

“Going commando feels awesome.” he noted and laughed.

Makoto laughed at this but suddenly the laughter was replaced by a serious look on his face

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get used to it.” he said and sighed.

After a while, they got home. Since Makoto’s shift was over he could enjoy spending time at home with Kazuya. As soon as they got inside their apartment, Makoto told Kazuya to take a bath while he would make something for them to eat. Kazuya left the boy’s cell phone on his desk and then headed to the bathroom. Makoto headed to the bedroom, he opened a drawer and he took a towel out off it and he headed to the bathroom while Kazuya was in the bathtub. He opened the door, he hanged the towel on a hanger near the bathtub and he got out heading to the kitchen.

While Makoto was cooking Kazuya got out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist and he headed to the bedroom. He opened two of his drawers. He took a pair of sweat pants out off the first one and a pair of underwear out off the other one. He got dressed and he headed to the kitchen.

“What smells so good?” Kazuya asked sniffing the aroma like a hungry wolf.

“I’m making pasta Bolognese.” Makoto told him and he smiled at Kazuya.

“I’m starving.” he said.

“Can you grab two plates and two glasses from the cupboard and set them on the table?” Makoto asked politely.

“Roger that.” Kazuya agreed and he did what he was told.

A few seconds later, everything was set and they started eating.

“Oh man, that’s like the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.” Kazuya said and he closed his eyes in rejoice.

“I’m happy you like it.” Makoto said smiling.

After they were done, Makoto washed the dishes and he told Kazuya that he was going to lie down for a while, Kazuya nodded and he told him that he was going to work on a couple of songs before it’s too late.

Time flew by so fast and Makoto without realizing it , he fell asleep while Kazuya was still working on the songs.

It was after 0300 a.m and Makoto got out of bed and he headed to the kitchen to drink a glass of water.

On his way back to bed, he noticed that Kazuya was lying on the floor in a fetal position with his eyes open. He went closer and he sat behind him.

“What’s wrong? Ka-chan.” he asked him.

“My past is back.” he replied and he sat down with his knees folded.

“What do you mean?” Makoto asked worried.

“My little brother, that boy, they looked alike.” he said and he lowered his head.

“I was immersed in writing the lyrics and the music kept playing on repeat. Images of my little brother flashed before my eyes, then that boy, his face, his eyes, it was like I could see my brother for one last time but I couldn’t really.””It was him and at the same time it wasn’t”. “My brother will never forgive me for what I’ve done and he is punishing me.” Kazuya said with a teary look in his eyes.

“Shh, calm down now. Your brother loves you and he knows it wasn’t your fault.” Makoto whispered to him and he wrapped his arms around Kazuya’s neck and Kazuya tilted his head backwards supporting it on Makoto’s chest and he looked at the ceiling. “We’ll go through this no matter how many times it takes for you to believe it.” Makoto said and he tighten his arms around Kazuya’s neck.

“Let’s go to bed now, you’re tired, I can tell.” Makoto said and he helped Kazuya get up.

They headed to the bedroom and they lied on the bed. Kazuya closed his eyes and he tried not to think about anything so he could fall asleep.

On the other hand, Makoto kept thinking about what Kazuya said and memories of a cruel past started haunting him. He could recall anything Kazuya has been gone through and his brother’s was the most devastating part of all.

Kazuya had a little brother named Ichika. He was born with a rare blood disease and the doctors didn’t give him much chance of survival. Kazuya and his parents hoped for the best but the more they hoped, the more their relationship deteriorated. The atmosphere at his house was getting heavier and heavier every day because of that. Everyone had to blame someone for what happened to them. It was then when Kazuya started working with a band, becoming a bit popular, around this time his brother started feeling better but that didn’t mean anything since his destiny was already sealed. Their parents believed a miracle happened and that the boy would continue getting better and better as time went by. December the 25^th, Kazuya was on a tour with that band , right before he went on stage, he received a phone call from Makoto saying that his brother passed away. Kazuya hung up, he went on stage and after the performance was over, he took the first plane home. Makoto was waiting for him at the airport and they took a taxi to Kazuya’s house.

He opened the door and he headed upstairs to his brother’s bedroom. There he found his parents crying next to the empty bed and his mother was holding Ichika’s favorite teddy bear in her arms. Kazuya fell on the floor crying and it was then when his parents accused him of abandoning his only brother alone when he needed him the most.

“You don’t belong to this house. Go away, you’re dead to us.” Kazuya’s father said.

“You left your brother to die and you were partying with a bunch delinquents. Your brother was suffering, asking for you. You’re the worst. Get out of my sight.” His mother said and she got up, approached him and she started hitting him with all her might. Kazuya couldn’t feel a thing, he kept crying and crying looking at his brother’s bed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he muffled.

“Ichika...” he sobbed.

Makoto heard screams but he decided not to intervene.

Kazuya’s father picked Kazuya’s bag and he tossed it outside the room, he then grabbed Kazuya by his arm and almost threw him down the stairs.

“Get the hell out of here, punk.” his father said.

Kazuya run downstairs with his bag in his hand, he got out of the house and he fell on Makoto’s knees with a blank look on his face listening to his father’s last words to him again and again. Makoto helped him get up, he hold his hand and he told him that he was going to be fine and that he’d always be by his side.

Makoto kept his promise to this day and he was going to keep it till the end of time.

Kazuya had finally fallen asleep and Makoto turned on his right side, he held Kazuya’s hand like he did on that day and the latter responded by grasping Makoto’s hand firmly.

The song Kazuya was working on.

October 24, 2015

夢は夢であり、現実は現実です。二人は同じになることはありません。運命はこのようにすることを意図されたので、彼らは絡み合うことはありません。

Floating away, further and further from the shore, distancing himself from everyone. Keeping himself safe, not allowing himself to get too attached, in fear of losing them too. As he'd lost his parents, as he'd lost his family. Everyone, those whom he cared for so deeply, who had a special place in his heart, only to have them torn away, shredding his heart to pieces, scattering the shards all over the floor, so he was bleeding and in pain, crimson tears falling down his cheeks and a mourning cry coming from between his lips. If he could chose just one thing, it would be to never feel that pain again.

That was why he acted as he did; distant, closed, alone. Because, in his mind...it was as if it was his destiny to be forever alone, with no one staying for very long. It was just how it was to be, the cards in which life had dealt him, and he was going to play them as he should. Destiny, fate, strings attaching one to another, he would sever them all before they became too intertwined, so he wouldn't end up getting hurt. It truly hurt so much, that feeling as if his heart had stopped, simply becoming a heavy rock in his chest, unable to breathe, unable to speak, unable to sense anything.

A fiery hell, though it was not burning. It was many things, many different feelings. Instead, it was like the ice of the lake that he'd fallen through in the winter when he was little, like the warmth leaving his mother's hands as she lay in the hospital bed, dying; or like the cold blade of the knife that took his father from him. The mild wetness of the tears that feel down his cheeks, as he knelt in the blood that surrounded the body. It was many things, pain, suffering, crying, screaming, unforgiving. Hate and fury. So why? Why would he want that again? His hands, covered in invisible scars, his body mangled by unseen wounds, his insides torn apart by emotions that could never be diagnosed as real sickness. And a continuous longing...to simply float away.

But as he floated, the water around him began to change, the water clouding, becoming blood red instead of clear crystal blue. And faces surrounded him, hands reaching up and grabbing on to him, pulling him beneath the surfaces. Screams filled his ears as he was pulled under, screams and cries. His lungs felt as if they were going to burst, his heart racing in his chest. Struggling to break free, the grips of the fingers that were holding on to him tighten, unwilling to let go. His eyes roll to the back of his head, and he opens his own mouth in a silent yell, bubbles rising above him, and the red liquid that he was in goes into his mouth, in his lungs, his stomach, through his nose. Panic filled his entire self, he was drowning. Dying. Alone. There was no one there to help him escape...

Just as his eyes began to close and his body started to lose feeling, sinking even deeper in the depths, his eyes fly open and he screams, sitting up quickly from the couch he'd fallen asleep on. Breathing deeply, he wraps his arms around his waist, hugging himself tightly. He was shaking, and tears began to fall, warm and salty, and soon he was sobbing, unable to stop the flow of the tears that fell. Shakily, he gets up from the couch, glancing out the window. It was dawn, the sun just starting to show itself, and then walks up the stairs to his room, which was on the second floor, across the hall from a room that always stayed locked. Before going in his own room, he pauses, looking at the closed door for a few moments. Tears still fell, but not as heavily as before. A sad frown tugs at his lips, and he tears his eyes away from the mahogany door.

Changing his clothes, he puts on a different pair of swimming jammers, and over those went light grey pants, that went to just below his knees, and with those was a white t-shirt, white socks, a pair of blue and white sneakers, and a green hooded jacket. Brushing his hair quickly, he then heads back downstairs, picking up his iPod which was on the table by the front door, as well as the keys to the house, slipping both in his pocket, and putting the earbuds in his ears. He needed to do something, to distract himself from the dream he'd had.

Just thinking about it brought tears back to his eyes, and as he closed the door, locked it, and went down the front steps, he wipes away the tears with the palm of his hand, and then begins to jog down the sidewalk, the gentle cool morning breeze caressing his cheeks, the scent of subtle flowers reaching his nose, calming him down ever so slowly. Amagumo kept going, eventually reaching the park, where he stops, staring at the lake, the sun light making it sparkle. But, his memory flashing back to the nightmare he'd just experience made him shake his head, fighting the urge to just throw himself into the water, to feel it as his entire body emerged in it's cold embrace.

However, despite that feeling, he couldn't stop himself from walking towards it, and the same tree from the day before. Sitting down at the base of the tree, he leans against it, his head back so he could look up at the sky. For a moment he remained motionless, but unable to resist the call of the waters, he stands up, stripping down to just his jammers, placing the iPod upon the pile of clothes, before walking over to the water, slipping into the lake. It was really cold, and goosebumps formed on his skin, but he ignored it, submerging himself and then allowing his body to float at the surface, eyes once more locked on the blue sky above, wisps of clouds drifting by every now and then. He was still tired, from tossing and turning all night, and without him even noticing it, his eyes began to close, and he was asleep within moments.

October 26, 2015

Morning came, Kazuya opened his eyes and he saw Makoto sitting next to him.

“Good morning, Mako.” he said with hoarse voice.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Makoto said playfully.

“Are you going to get out of bed?” Makoto asked him.

“In a bit.” Kazuya replied while stretching.

After a while, Kazuya got up and he headed to the bathroom.

As soon as Makoto saw him getting out of bed, he rushed to make the bed and open the windows.

Makoto stared out the window for a while recalling yesterday’s events.

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by Kazuya’s hand touching his shoulder.

“Makoto, are you alright?””What’s on your mind?” Kazuya asked with a worried look on his face.

“Nothing, nothing.” Makoto said and he looked away.

“It’s your big live today at ageHa club,isn’t this exciting?” Makoto said smiling broadly.

“5000 people immersing themselves in your music.” Makoto almost squealed.

“You seem way more excited than I am!” Kazuya said surprised.

“Most importantly , are you coming tonight or not?” Kazuya asked gazing at Makoto’s eyes.

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it for the world, are you kidding me?” Makoto’s eyes lighten up.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Kazuya said almost relieved.

“Since it’s my day off today, let’s go out for a cup of coffee or something.” Makoto suggested.

“Your treat,right?” Kazuya teased Makoto.

“Dummie.” Makoto said laughing.

The 2 men got dressed and they headed out. Kazuya chose to wear a pair of red jeans, a black t-shirt and a pair of black converse sneakers, Makoto on the other hand he wore a pair of black jeans,a red t-shirt and a pair of red boot-like Vans sneakers. A few steps they walked and suddenly Kazuya stopped. “Wait for me here, ok?””I’ll be right back.” Kazuya said and Makoto did what he was told with a puzzled look on his face. Kazuya rushed to the apartment, he unlocked the door, he got inside and since he didn’t have time to take off his shoes he crawled inside, he reached his desk and he grabbed the kid’s cell phone thinking that he may be at the park swimming in the lake. He got out of the apartment crawling and then he got up, he locked the door and left.

“I’m sorry for that.” Kazuya apologized.

“What happened?” Makoto asked confused.

“I forgot something and I went to get it.” Kazuya excused himself.

“I see. Shall we go now?” Makoto suggested.

“How about Paul Bassett coffee shop?” Kazuya recommended.

“Alright.””We should turn right then.” Makoto said.

Kazuya’s choice wasn’t random at all. He knew that they would have to walk through the park in order to go there and so they did. While reaching the park, Kazuya was looking for a sign of the boy and Makoto noticed it.

“Are you looking for something?” Makoto asked sure about what was going on.

“Nothing, maybe.” Kazuya understood that he was busted.

Makoto glanced at him annoyed.

While walking further into the park, Makoto noticed a pile of clothes and an I-pod near the lake,then he turned his head around just to see that there was someone in the lake swimming.

“Hey, Kazuya, I think I found what you’re looking for.” Makoto yelled.

“What up with the yelling?” Kazuya replied bothered.

Kazuya got closer to Makoto only to find the latter pointing at the pile of clothes and then at the lake.

“Makoto, you’re awesome.” Kazuya said smiling.

“I know.” Makoto replied while lowering his head.

Kazuya took the kid’s cell phone out of his pocket and he was torn between shouting at the boy and leaving the cell phone on the boy’s pile of clothes and leave.

October 27, 2015

白昼夢、悪夢、過去の反射。来ることで、将来のミラー反射。それは何ですか？であることが何ですか？私たちは誰になるのだろうか？私が知っている必要はありません...

Why did everything seem to turn out the way it did? Was it the original plan of the gods, the written script of some unknown play that everyone upon this planet were following, not even realizing that they were doing just that? Was there more to this life, did they even have a choice one what was to come? All they needed was something to look forward to, something that they could choose. Love, fame, fortune, family, was it worth it? Or were they just not in control, were they alone? Broken hearts, broken futures, broken pasts and broken relationships. Destiny...what was it but a game? Life, what was it but some twisted rope that we grasp on to, but unable to pull ourselves in from the waves and turmoil of the pain?

It was all that there was to see...Questions floating within his mind, until a yell could be heard, pulling Amagumo back like a wake up call. He slowly opens his eyes, his face turned towards the sky, before looking to the side. Blank eyes, cold grey blue, gazed at the two people who were standing there by the tree where his things were sitting on the ground. For a moment he does nothing, however after a second he ducks beneath the water. Invisible for mere minutes, he reappears upon the shore of the lake.

Taking dripping wet steps towards the two older males, he reaches them, and bows to them in thanks. All the while he'd said nothing, keeping quiet. Standing up straight, he looks straight at the one who'd come into the lake after him the other day, and gazes straight into his eyes, ignoring, for the first time, the pounding in his chest, the way his head felt light and fuzzy. Clasping his fingers into a tight fist, he takes a deep breath, and calms himself, before speaking up, his voice having a slightly...lost sound to it.

"Thank you for the other day..." He begins, not blinking once as he looked into the other male's eyes. "And thank you for bringing me back my phone." He couldn't hold eye contact any longer, and looks away, staring out at the lake which he'd been in just seconds before. Amagumo had no idea why he was doing this, or what he hoped to accomplish by talking to these men. Why push himself, with his anxiety around new people, to just end up probably never talking to them again? Was it because of a thought he'd had the other day?

"Um, I never properly introduced myself. My name is Shiromizu, Amagumo." Why was he doing this? He was confused with his actions, as he glances towards the two. He knew that the one whom he'd spoken to that other day was called Makoto, but he only remembered this because of his classmate Makoto. The others' name he did not remember, though he could have sworn it was mentioned. "So, um...you're...probably wanting to go do something, so I'll, uh...just leave you alone now..." He falls silent, and picks up the shirt he'd been wearing and pulls it on, before pulling the jacket over it, hands fumbling slightly as he zips the front up.

October 29, 2015

Kazuya stared back deep into the boy’s eyes and he felt captivated by this unusual yet unique eye color. An ice cold grey blue that felt like the purity of the Antarctic sky at dusk.

“Don’t worry about it.” Kazuya said smiling at him.

Later on, the boy introduced himself and Kazuya followed.

“I’m Yukizono Kazuya, it’s nice to meet you.” Kazuya stretched his arm out for a handshake.

“I’m Shinohara Makoto, It’s good meeting you properly this time.” Makoto said with an aloof look on his face.

Makoto didn’t like where this was going. He glanced at Kazuya who was smiling wholeheartedly at the boy.

While the boy was putting his clothes on, Kazuya proposed.

“Why don’t you come with us?””If you have nothing better to do that is.”

Makoto looked at Kazuya with eyes wide open; he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“He said what now?” he asked himself.

Makoto pinched his arm only to realize that what was happening was real.

“I’m sure Shiromizu-kun has a lot more interesting things to do than going out with a couple of strangers, right, Shiromizu-kun?” Makoto asked the kid emphasizing on every word he said.

“Let the kid decide, Mako.””Don’t be rude.” Kazuya said.

There they were waiting for the kid’s reply.

On one hand, Kazuya who was hoping that Amagumo would join them and on the other hand, Makoto who wasn’t so thrilled with the idea of Amagumo joining them.

October 29, 2015

でも不満や裁判に満ちた世界では、人は慰めのいくつかの並べ替えを見つけることができます。快適さと幸福は1つが唯一のどこを見れを知っている場合は、場所の最も奇妙で見て、彼らの目を開くことができます。

Perhaps it was something that was said, something that was unseen, that changed the destiny of that one person. The choices that were made, or maybe a particular way a piece of clothing was being worn. No one would be able to know, or even explain the reaction of how it was responded to, but maybe it had something to do with fate. Maybe, just maybe, it was that red string that guides us all, a little tug or lax in the line that allowed things to turn into the events that they had, what followed was something a bit more. Just a little light was shed that very second, that mere, blink of an eye, a batting of an eyelash...destiny, was it? Or maybe something else...Who knew, but that hand of life, the gods that point us in the right direction...telling us to open our eyes, and see to the future that is to come. Illuminate us, like the sun in the daytime.

Yukizono Kazuya...and Shinohara Makoto...Such nice names. Lifting his eyes from the shoelaces he was tying, Amagumo was surprised to see a hand positioned towards him, as if asking for it to be shaken. Following the arm that was attached to that hand, then up past the elbow, he was even more surprised to see that it was Yukizono Kazuya's hand extended towards him. He cautiously takes the hand, but only for a second, before letting go. For a moment he was confused, but the offer that followed made him blink. Did he hear that right? Did this guy just ask him...to join them?

"I-" He opens his mouth to answer, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, breath shallow, and no doubt face beat red, but just as he does Makoto speaks up. From what he heard Makoto say, and the emphasis that was put in to those words, it was quite clear that Makoto didn't want Amagumo to tag along. Closing his mouth, he looks away, a small frown tugging at the corner of his lips. Eyes downcast, he felt as if his heart had plummeted from where it had been lodged in his throat, straight past his chest to rest in the pit of his stomach. Of course, it made sense really. Why would they want a complete stranger to come along with them?

"I...um..." Swallowing quietly, he glances at Kazuya, seeing the smile on the older male's face, how kind it appeared. Then he looks to Makoto, who didn't look all too thrilled at the aspect of him, Amagumo, tagging along to wherever they'd been headed in the first place. He was completely dressed at that point, and, for a second, he was quiet, biting his bottom lip, trying to think of what he'd say. One side of him wanted to go along with them, Kazuya seemed to really want him to, but the other half was hesitant...he'd seen, and heard, how resistant the guy was to the idea of having Amagumo there with them.

Taking a deep breath, he stares at his shoes, before speaking up. "Uh...I...Um, if you want me to and don't mind...I guess I could...go with you." His voice trails off, becoming quiet. "That is, if that's completely okay...Yukizono-san and Shinohara-san..." Slipping his phone and iPod into his pocket, he takes a chance at looking up, his eyes slowly lifting to look at Kazuya's face, a tiny glint and glimmer of hope shimmering within his gaze. Shifting slightly from one foot to the other, he waits for a response, wondering if it was, indeed, completely okay with them to have him tag along. He definitely had nothing else to do that day...

October 30, 2015

Kazuya was pleased to see that Amagumo responded to his handshake.

The boy’s skin was very soft from the few seconds he got to touch it and the sunlight made it look almost translucent.

Kazuya felt as if the boy was feeling very uncomfortable around them or maybe it was due to the question he asked a few minutes ago. He kept smiling at Amagumo so he could encourage him to speak and maybe ease his nervousness a bit.

Makoto heard the boy saying that he would like to join them after all and he fully disliked the thought of it. He couldn’t say anything though because it’d seem like he was making a fuss over nothing moreover he didn’t want to go against Kazuya’s will. This certainly didn’t mean that he would keep quiet about it. He was about to talk to him regarding Amagumo when he got the chance.

Kazuya was very glad that the boy accepted the invitation.

“Thank you for accepting our invitation.”

“Our invitation?” “I’m a part of this now?” Makoto wondered and he stared at Kazuya obviously annoyed.

Kazuya smiled at Amagumo with a radiant look on his face.

“We were planning on going to Paul Bassett café, you know it?” Kazuya asked the boy.

October 31, 2015

物事は理由があって起こります。その理由は何ですか、誰もが知っている... しかし、我々はそうする理由は... 運命は時々面白いことで質問けれども私たちは、私たちの運命に私たちを導くパン粉の跡をたどります。

Desperation, deliberation, an unknown force pushing him into following the faint longing that he could feel in his heart. Deciding to go along, despite everything he felt calling to him, saying that it would not end well, not having the result he so wished for. But that deep yearning, that inner WANT kept his mouth from speaking the words 'I change my mind'. He wasn't going to give in to those voices. No, this time around, he was going to change the course of his fate, with his own mind and his own two hands, no matter the cost. He was scared, yes...but he was steadfast. Strong. And he wasn't about to let the frailty of his own aching heart keep him from discovering new things, new people...

Taking a deep breath, he glances at Makoto before focusing his attention on Kazuya, who had thanked him for accepting the offer that had been made. A small smile painted itself on his lips, but it melts away almost as soon as it had appeared. He could feel the annoyed stare he was getting from Makoto, making his insides churn and twist into proverbial knots, and Amagumo could feel his cheeks begin to burn, not with embarrassment, but slight shame. From before, he had interpreted the tell tale signs of Makoto hinting that he shouldn't agree, and yet he did just that.

But the shining and radiant smile that came his way from Kazuya seemed to melt away the hesitancy that he felt, though a small bit remained. Having someone look at him like that, besides his classmates, was...quite nice, if he had to admit it to himself. Amagumo was so used to being by himself outside of school that some days he found himself to being quite lonely, wishing he had some other friends or at least acquaintances that he could spend time with when he wasn't at school or in practice.

Paul Bassett café? Yes, I know it..." He replies, his voice having a rather melancholy sound to it. Amagumo indeed knew of that place, as it was a favorite spot that he and his brother often had gone to...that was, before the incident, of course... It was a place of memories, fond ones and bitter ones as well. He attempts to smile a bit wider, but could not, because as he did, he couldn't keep the corners of his lips from trembling. So, failing that try, he lets his face fall into it's usual blank appearance.

There was no point in standing there any longer, so when the two older males were ready to go, Amagumo allows them to lead the way. For a second or two Amagumo pauses in his foot steps, glancing at the glittering water of the lake's surface, a forlorn longing shifting in his eyes, and he sighs quietly to himself. A hand moves to the front of his sweater, his fingers lightly clutching at the fabric. But, after a moment longer, he shakes his head, pulling his eyes away from the scene, and follows after the two.

October 31, 2015

Kazuya was elated to see Amagumo smiling for the first time even though it was a fleeting moment, Kazuya certainly hoped it lasted longer.

A smile that made every trouble go away, a smile that painted someone’s mood the brightest of colors. That was the kind of smile Amagumo had based on Kazuya’s thoughts.

Both times he met the boy; he only saw a blank look on his face, a shade of grey that was unknown to him till he met him. A welcoming shade of grey yet a distant one.

Kazuya received a positive reply to his previous question to Amagumo.

“So do you live nearby?” he asked.

Makoto saw Kazuya gazing at the boy and he poked his shoulder.

“Are we going or what?” he asked.

“Yes, let’s go, Amagumo-kun.” Kazuya gestured Amagumo to come.

A few steps further, a cell phone started ringing.

“Mako, it’s your cell.” Kazuya commented.

Makoto answered the call. It was a fellow waiter.

“Makoto-san, I have something to tell you.” The man’s voice said.

“What is it,Yamanami-san?” Makoto asked puzzled.

“You need to come at the restaurant as soon as possible because Momokuji-san got sick and we’re short-handed.” The man replied.

“Are you kidding me? It’s my day off.” Makoto said obviously angry.

“Nothing I can do. Manager’s orders. Please hurry!” the man said and hung up.

“What happened?” Kazuya asked a bit worried.

“I have to go to work like right now.””I guess I can’t come with you after all.” Makoto said disappointed.

“Don’t sweat it , Mako. ””You’ll come to my live tonight, right?” Kazuya tried to comfort him and he put his hand on Makoto’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll be there, I wouldn’t miss it.” Makoto replied and he smiled at Kazuya.

“This is when I bid you both goodbye then.” “Amagumo-kun, it was nice meeting you and I’m looking forward to going out some other time.” Makoto told Amagumo with a faint smile on his face.

“Kazuya, we’ll meet at the club, take care now.” Makoto told Kazuya and he started walking towards the opposite direction.

Kazuya looked at Amagumo.

“Let’s go.” He said and he started walking.

He was kind of dispirited because Makoto couldn’t join them but he still had Amagumo joining him.

He didn’t want to be the one to bring the mood down.

Roads, pavements, lamp posts even whole buildings were covered in dead silence emitting from both Kazuya and Amagumo. Kazuya had to come up with something to say in order to break that void silence. He wanted Amagumo to have fun with him.

“I can tell you like swimming, it’s like too obvious.””Are you a member of a club or it’s a hobby of some sort?” Kazuya asked Amagumo grinning and hoping he had finally demolished the invisible wall between them.

November 4, 2015

絶望は私たちの生活の中でいくつかの点で、我々はすべてを感じるものです。その厳しい憧れ、燃える欲望。いくつかのためにそれだけでしばらくの間ですが、他人のために、それが人生の時間のためにそれらにとどまります。

Zetsubō wa watashitachi no seikatsu no naka de ikutsu ka no ten de, wareware wa subete o kanjiru monodesu. Sono kibishī akogare, moeru yokubō. Ikutsu ka no tame ni sore dake de shibarakunoaidadesuga, tanin no tame ni, sore ga jinsei no jikan no tame ni sorera ni todomarimasu.

It was something that just happened. Why that was, how it happened, he wouldn't know. But all that was in his mind at that moment, all he could realize at that moment, was the tie, the red string of fate that was beginning to weave itself, forming between himself and these two people. And, deep inside, he felt elated, excited and happy. To have something like this happen was a rarity, and it was someone who seemed so nice and caring. Like a candle burning in a window on a cold, snowy winter night, it gave him hope. Something, hopefully, to look forward to.

He was going to answer the question that was asked of him, if he lived near hear, but was interrupted before he could even open his mouth. Glancing towards Makoto, he could literally feel the waves of annoyance rolling off of him, and decides to keep quiet, following after the two in silence. He sticks his hands in his pockets, staring at the pavement that his feet were walking on, his mouth shut firmly, not wanting to annoy Makoto any further with anything that he might say.

However, the silence was soon canceled out by the ringing of a cell phone. It wasn't his own, he was sure, as he usually left it on vibrate. And sure enough, it was Makoto's. He stops walking as the other two does, and watches when the phone was answered, wondering what was going on, seeing the expression on the older male's face. Apparently it had something to do with his work, as was said when Kazuya asked what was going on, the question answered swiftly by Makoto. For a moment or two the older male's talk, until Amagumo was spoken to.

He blinks a bit, and nods. "It was nice meeting you too..." He inclines his head, and watches as Makoto walks away, so that it was just himself and Kazuya standing there now. His focus was pulled away from the retreating figure by the voice that spoke up next to him, and he turns his eyes to look at the other male. "Alright..." He follows in the older male's footsteps, trying to match them but it was a bit hard to do as Kazuya was a lot taller than he was.

Once more silence enveloped them, but honestly Amagumo didn't mind this at all. It was nice, just being in another person's company for once, instead of always by himself. Quietly he looks around, fingers wrapping lightly around the phone that was tucked away in his pocket. The expression that was on his face was one of blankness, as if he was feeling absolutely nothing at all. However, he was brought out of his reverie when Kazuya suddenly speaks up, asking him a couple of questions.

At these enquiries a small light dimly begins to glow in Amagumo's eyes, and the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly. "Yes, I love swimming...I'm on a team, and it's a hobby...swimming makes me feel so free, as if all my hope as returned to me, as if I can do anything...For some reason, I can finally calm and become relaxed when I'm in the water..." He suddenly falls silent, blushing at how enthusiastic he had gotten. Hopefully Kazuya wouldn't get too weirded out about what he'd said...

November 5, 2015

Kazuya listened to the boy carefully and he noticed that Amagumo’s eyes lighten up when he talked about swimming. Kazuya liked swimming but not as much as Amagumo did. He was pleased to see that the boy had gotten quite excited about it and he felt like he wanted to know more.

Kazuya stared at the boy’s blushing face and he smiled warmly at him.

“I like swimming too, you know. Well, not as much as you do but I find it to be quite relaxing.” he continued. “How’s it like being on a team? Are you training for the Nationals?” Kazuya wanted to ask more but he felt like he would stress Amagumo out.

He kept walking and Amagumo followed, that went on for a little while till Kazuya stopped.

“Do you mind walking by my side and not behind me?” Kazuya asked with a gentle grin on his face.

A few minutes passed and Kazuya asked the boy hesitantly.

“Hmm, Wanna go swimming some time? If you’re ok with that,of course.”

“The last time I got into the water was when I tried to get you out of that lake.” Kazuya said and laughed a bit nervously.

Twenty minutes and some more steps later they were almost at the café.

All they had to do was to cross the street and then they would be standing outside the shop.

“We should be careful while crossing this particular road, I’ve witnessed quite a few accidents happening.” Kazuya said with a worried look on his face.

He stopped in order to check both sides of the road before crossing it.

Once the road was clear, Kazuya stretched his hand to Amagumo’s side as if he wanted for Amagumo to take it.

“We’re good to go now.” Kazuya said to the boy as he took a step forward.

November 6, 2015

couple-holding-hands-drawings-tumblr-good-design-5-on-wedding-wedding-ring.png

時間が賢明に費やし過ごした最高の時間です。あなたが愛する何を、または友人と一緒にいます。人生、経験の生活をお楽しみください。ちょうどそれを生きてはいけません。

Jikan ga kenmei ni tsuiyashi sugoshita saikō no jikandesu. Anata ga aisuru nani o, matawa yūjin to issho ni imasu. Jinsei, keiken no seikatsu o o tanoshimi kudasai. Chōdo sore o ikite wa ikemasen.

A wave of sudden happiness, a spark of joy, the breeze of something exciting. It was like a breath of fresh air, or the rain on a warm spring day. It was the smell of a delicious breakfast in the morning, or the comfort of your bed at the end of a long day. It was all these things and more, and it was something that was an elating experience. One that many wanted to feel all the time, and never ever go without. To be happy. Wasn't that the goal of all human beings, to find what made them happy, and suffice the longing that they felt without it? If that was the case, well, this was how Amagumo wanted to sate that hunger.

Hearing that Kazuya liked swimming too, and the questions that followed, made Amagumo's lips turn up a bit more, the smile widening on his face. Nodding, he grins quickly, but after a split second his expression falls back to one of soft happiness. "I like being on a team. It feels like the only place where I actually have friends. Haru-kun, Mako-kun, Nagi-kun and Rin-kun are all so nice to me. So is Gou-chan, the manager of the swim team. And then there is Amakata-san, the club supervisor. Ah, and yes, we're trying to go to nationals..."

He felt like he was talking too much, so falls silent, content with just walking behinds Kazuya. But apparently the older male was not, because after a moment he speaks up, asking if Amagumo would walk beside him, instead of behind him. The white haired male blinks in confusion, but shyly does as was requested, though walks slightly slower, so that Kazuya was still in lead, despite them walking side by side. He was a follower by nature, it was an automatic thing he always did.

Hearing the next question made him think twice, first because he thought he was hearing things, second because he realized he wasn't. Was this for real? He looks over at Kazuya, confusion in his eyes, saying nothing, after a moment looking forward, not answering the request. Amagumo would have to think that one over, decide if the other was joking or not, and only then, when he realized that point, would he give the older male his reply.

Reaching the street, in which the cafe was just across from them, they stop. Amagumo nods at the comment that was made, knowing all too well that tragedies that happened on this particular street. Without even thinking about it, without even a second thought, or a moment's hesitancy, his hand easily accepted the one that was offered to him by Kazuya, not even completely sure that was what was going on. It was more instinct really. His small hand felt quite secure in the palm of the older male's, his own rather smallish fingers curling so they were holding firmly onto Kazuya's.

"Alright..." He replies, stepping after Kazuya, squeezing his eyes shut at that very second, trying not to look to either side, and trying his hardest to block out any and all memories that might float to the surface of his mind. It was only a few seconds, and they were on the other side, Amagumo opening his eyes quickly, but not letting go of Kazuya's hand. His own had gotten clammy and his pulse had quickened, easily felt through his very fingertips. He didn't want to let go. Because if he did, he'd remember...the promise that was made, the day that everything had changed. When he let go, and lost someone he loved.

November 6, 2015

Kazuya was listening to Amagumo talking about his team with the latter having a happy look on his face. “If all these people are his friends, why he looks so lonely?” he thought to himself.

He kept listening to him carefully and suddenly Amagumo stops talking but it felt like he had more to say. “Good luck on the Nationals.” Kazuya said and he pointed his thumb up smiling.

“So wanna go swimming together some time?” he asked the boy again as they kept walking side by side. “You didn’t answer me.””I was serious about it actually.” Kazuya reassured the boy.

“I believe it’s gonna be fun, don’t you?” he broadly grinned at Amagumo.

“Where do you and your team train?” “Do you have a favorite style?”Kazuya went on with his questions.

Kazuya didn’t expect that they boy would grab his hand but he did and that satisfied him.

Amagumo’s hand was smaller than Kazuya’s but it was a lot warmer than his.

Kazuya held the boy’s hand tightly while crossing the road. They were pacing fast.

Soon they were on the other side of the road standing outside the café.

“Here we are!” Kazuya said kind of relieved since nothing bad happened.

“Amagumo-kun, are you alright?” Kazuya asked the boy who was still holding his hand quite firmly.

Amagumo wouldn’t leave his hand and Kazuya felt a feeling of uneasiness coming from the boy so he decided they walked a bit more that way and go to the cafe later on.

“There is a CD store like two blocks away from here, wanna go?” Kazuya suggested.

November 19, 2015

多分それは私達に戻って保持している私たちの恐れがあります。それともそれが出て過去からの出来事、私たちを離れないと決して私たちが上に移動させるんです。それが何であれ、私たちは新しいことを試して怖がって自分自身を開くことが不本意私たちが知っているもの、にしがみつきます。しかし、我々は試してみる必要があります... または他の我々が成長することは決してないだろう。

Tabun sore wa watashitachi ni modotte hoji shite iru watashitachi no osore ga arimasu. Soretomo sore ga dete kako kara no dekigoto, watashitachi o hanarenaito kesshite watashitachi ga ue ni idō sa seru ndesu. Sore ga nandeare, watashitachiha atarashī koto o tameshite kowagatte jibun jishin o hiraku koto ga fuhon'i watashitachi ga shitte iru mono, ni shigamitsukimasu. Shikashi, wareware wa tameshite miru hitsuyō ga arimasu... Matawa hoka no wareware ga seichō suru koto wa kesshite naidarou.

Everything has it's purpose, but what is the purpose for fear and bad memories? Being scared of something, holding on to the past, haunting thoughts and creeping flash backs that taint our vision and keep us from feeling completely at ease. Why did things like that have to happen, why in the world did such horrible happenings take place? Was it to shape us? To create who were are, what we are, and the being that we call ourselves? Is it what make us human? But what if that terror was so great, that it made us into something else? Something that WASN'T human, but something in human form? Is that what it was supposed to do?

However, letting things like that get to us, letting it trace us, track us down...why did we do that?

He had heard every single question that was asked of him, but he did not answer. Only when they were safe across the road, and away from being to close to the moving cars, did he even risk looking up and over at Kazuya, nodding quietly at the question of if he was okay. Deep down, he wasn't quite sure if he truly was alright, but he didn't want Kazuya to worry about him. His hand, holding firmly to the taller male's, did not let go. He held on, not wanting to leave the warmth of the fingers that were against his, the palm pressed safely next to his. It was comfort, it was safety. It was something he longed for, but never admitted to wanting, to desperately needing.

Taking a deep breath, he nods to the offer to go to the CD store, and allows Kazuya to take the lead, following his steps, keeping stride with the older male. After a second or two, he takes a deep breath, and speaks up, though his voice sounded slightly distant, as if he was physically there, he was speaking and such, but his mind was someplace else, in a far of area in his mind where he could only go, lost in thought. "If you really want to go swimming...Yes, that would be nice...very nice. He pauses, staring at a small rock that he'd kicked up with his foot, watching as it bounced away on the sidewalk ahead of them, before continuing.

"We train at the school, and other places when we can." He pauses again, looking up at the sky, staring at a flock of pure white birds that were flying over head. With his eyes still to the blue expanse up above, he continues answering the questions that had been asked of him. "I like all of them, but my two favorite are breaststroke and free..." Lowering his head, he looks over at Kazuya, not even noticing any of the rather strange glances they were getting by the few passerby on the sidewalks as they headed towards the store.

"What about you...do you have a favorite swim style?" He'd shifted his hand so that their fingers were laced together, it felt more...secure that way. And, deep down, without him even realizing it, it felt as if his hand meant to be held by Kazuya's, like they were meant to be that way. It was security and safety and warmth and all things that made him feel at ease, but he didn't even realize that this was happening. It was something in his subconscious, but he knew somehow...that this, what was going on, it was making him...happy.

"Maybe...the store will have the CD that I've been looking for..." Amagumo says this to no one in particular, more of a thought that escaped his brain out of his mouth, but it didn't really matter. Silence was nice at times...but if he had to be honest with himself, the silence he dealt with on a daily basis was rather sad and lonely...Sighing softly, he stares at where his feet were headed, not looking really to see anything, but to focus on something rather than the depressing thoughts floating around in his head.

November 22, 2015

Kazuya paid attention to what Amagumo was saying and he was glad to see that the boy had accepted his invitation to go swimming together. “I’m free tomorrow, are you? Do you have to go to practice or something?” he asked with a broad grin on his face. “Can someone watch your team practice? Are spectators allowed?” He asked staring at Amagumo for a few seconds and then he looked straight ahead.

A gentle breeze blew and Kazuya closed his eyes for a few seconds and he run his left hand through his hair. A few moments later, Amagumo spoke up asking about Kazuya's favorite swim style to which the latter answered. “I enjoy backstroke the most.” He turned his head to face the boy and he noticed that there was an older woman gazing at them with a look of dislike on her face.

Kazuya was used to such looks so he just kept walking while holding Amagumo’s hand tightly.

“Are you looking for a CD? What kind of music you listen to?” Kazuya asked quite excited since he was a musician himself. “So it was a good suggestion to go there after all.” He continued and smiled. About fifteen minutes later, they finally arrived at the shop. Kazuya pulled the door open and once Amagumo was inside, he pulled it closed.

He greeted the owner of the shop in a very friendly manner; they came to know each other after Kazuya became a regular customer there. “Hiroshi-san, could you help my friend here?””He’s looking for a CD.” Hiroshi nodded and he approached Amagumo asking him “What’s the artist’s name you’re looking for?”. Kazuya then encouraged the boy to talk.

It was then when his cell phone beeped meaning that he had received a message.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket and he saw that the manager of the club he was supposed to play as a DJ tonight had sent him a message. Apparently, there was a problem with the sound system of the club and that he had to be there to discuss it with the manager and figure out some sort of solution.

Kazuya messaged the manager that he’d be there in 30 minutes. He put his cell phone back in his pocket and he looked at Amagumo “I have a job thing I have to take care of.””You can come with me if you want to, it won’t take long.” Kazuya said and it could be seen in his eyes that he really wanted for Amagumo to come.”I’m sorry for all this trouble.” He said lowering his head.

November 25, 2015

我々は選択肢を持っているときに我々は何をしますか？我々はターンにどちらが答えますか？私たちにどのような方向を取りますか？なぜ？私は非常に興味があります。

Wareware wa sentakushi o motte iru toki ni wareware wa nani o shimasu ka? Wareware wa tān ni dochira ga kotaemasu ka? Watashitachi ni dono yōna hōkō o torimasu ka? Naze? Watashi wa hijō ni kyōmigārimasu.

What is it that people looked for in life? Was it the choices that we are given? The decisions we can make? The rewards and outcomes of performing certain deeds? Why did we do the things we did? For what end did we live? What purpose? The strings that tie us all together, that keep us connected to one another, what would happen if one cut that string, detaching themselves from everyone else? Would they disappear? Would anyone else even notice? It's how it was for life and death...Some people remember those who have passed on, while, for the most part, everyone else gradually forgets that the one who left us even existed in the first place...

So why? Why did we exist anyways, if only to be erased in the end? What was this pointless task of living, if only to dwindle away in the depths and darkness of despair and loneliness, lost to the fabric of time...What was it?

Amagumo shakes his head softly at the question that was asked of him. No, he did not have anything planned for tomorrow, and he doubted, even if he had a team practice scheduled, that Gou would have appreciated bringing someone who wasn't from the team, let alone the school, with him. "I don't really have anything planned. I'm on break right now, so I've got these next few days all to myself. Some of my team mates aren't going to be in town, so there won't be any team practice. I was just told to keep up with my own personal regimen and focus on getting stronger." Glancing up at the sky, a small smile forms on his lips when he heard what Kazuya's favorite stroke was.

At the next question he looks over at the taller male, before quickly looking away. He was, indeed, looking for a CD, but wasn't quite sure what the album was called, let alone if the musician had even come out with an actual CD for his music yet. A faint blush forms on his cheeks, and for a moment he was quiet as the continued walking. However, he didn't get the courage to speak up and say this before they arrived at the store, so he kept silent, stepping inside after Kazuya, his eyes adjusting to the change in light, blinking rapidly. Reluctantly he let go of Kazuya's hand, his own feeling empty, the warmth slowly seeping away, replaced by a feeling of cold nothingness.

They were greeted soon enough by whom Amagumo guessed was the store owner, and he was surprised that Kazuya knew the man on a first name basis. His cheeks grow a faint shade darker than they were before when he was introduced, a faint bubbly feeling forming in his stomach when Kazuya referred to him as a 'friend'. Bowing slightly in greeting, he felt shy once more. "Um, hello. My name is Shiromizu, Amagumo. It's nice to meet you." Rubbing his neck, he stands up straight, and opens his mouth to answer the question as to the name of the artist in who's CD he was searching, but stops when the older male's cell phone beeped.

Losing focus on the store manager, he watches Kazuya as he read whatever message was on his phone, and meeting the others' eyes when he looked at him. He was surprised by what he was asked, shocked that Kazuya would even want him to come along. But, a shy smile forms on his face, and he nods. "Yes, that would be nice. I would like to go with you. And don't worry, it isn't any trouble, I actually have nothing to do today, so this is just fine." He bows shyly again, his hands clasped lightly in front of himself. "Besides, it's me who should be apologizing. I feel as if I'm being a bother, following you around and you barely knowing me." Lowering his eyelids slightly, he curls his fingers, which still felt so lonely. It had been quite some time since he'd felt a hand against his own that made him feel safe.

"We can come back...right?" He really hoped so, and after a second he looks up at Kazuya, a shimmering of hope in his eyes, and that faint smile still on his lips. Today was turning out wonderfully, and he honestly didn't want it to end. It was only just beginning, not even noon yet, but he felt if he blinked too many times, it would be over before he knew it, and once more he'd be all alone in his house, by himself. Desolate and isolated. And, he also feared that once he left Kazuya's side, he'd be forgotten...

白鳥と虎 : Hakuchō to Tora

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