Familiar Love (Pigeon and Rin)

[Kotorichan]

 

 

Name: Lan Yuan

Appearance: Lan had medium length black hair and dark brown eyes. He's average height and somewhat muscular, but not as much as when he was a teenager. He's of Chinese decent but never learned the language or much of the culture.

Age: 25

Personality: He's very flirtatious and likes to joke around but still makes it obvious how much he cares about his loved ones. He's usually very sexual and has a streak of sadism but always wants it to be consensual. He tends to be very open with his emotions and quickly gets over things that he doesn't think are a very big deal. He never really had a plan for his future and always just went along with the flow of things.

Bio: in high school his parents found out that he was gay because an acquaintance mentioned it to them without thinking. They immediately moved Lan away and threatened to throw him out on the streets if he didn't fix his 'problem'. Lan forced himself to find a girlfriend and get married as quickly as possible to keep that from happening. Things worked out well for the first couple of years with his wife Mellony. But shortly after Caleb was born her brother died. She became depressed and started drinking. Shortly after she lost her job and started to become abusive to both Lan and Caleb. Lan's parents were always pushing Lan to be a better husband instead of trying to help him. Sometimes they contributed to the abuse. Eventually Lan couldn't take watching Caleb suffer and ran away in the middle of the night. He's been staying at old friend's houses for the past couple months. He had been working as a webdesigner at home so he continued to do that on the move. But he hasn't been able to save up enough money to settle anywhere safely.

 

Name: Caleb Yuan

Appearance: Looks a lot like a younger version of Lan. He inherited his mother's large eyes, curly hair, and short stature.

Age: 3

Personality: Act energetic and like a normal little kid when he's around his dad, but immediately shuts down when other adults are paying attention to him and will have meltdowns if he's left alone with a different adult for too long.

Bio: Had a very difficult first few years of life due to his mother and grandparents. But Lan made sure to make him as happy and safe as possible.

 

 

 

Lan stared at the foreboding door of his high school boyfriend's home. It had taken some work to find out where the other lived, but he didn't have anyone else that might let him stay with him. It have been almost four months and he just needed another week to finish a project. Then he would have enough for the first month's rent and food for the two of them.

 

He glanced down at Caleb who was tugging on his pants. The little boy was exhausted, not just from the day of travelling but from the months of stress. Lan had done everything he could to keep the worries from his son, but it was impossible to completely hide it.

 

"Legs hurt..." The child whined. He had been carrying around his little backpack and walking between bus stops for hours. "Don't wanna walk..."

 

After glancing at the door one more time Lan let go of the suitcases he had been holding and scooped the little boy up in his arms. "Ready to meet another one of daddy's old friends?"

 

"Another...?"

 

"This is the last one, I promise, and he's nice too" Lan smiled and kissed his son's forehead before finally knocking on the door.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Name: Yukio Takagawa.

Age: 24.

Personality: A quite cold and introverted human being. Yukio doesn't trust anyone and keeps body contact from him. He doesn't fear hurting anyone if they touch him, due to having learnt Kendo for years. When getting close to someone, he shows friendliness and care, what makes him an almost different person.

 

Bio: Having been a child of rich parents, he spent most time of his life alone. They were hardly home because of their busy jobs but cared a lot when they found it that their son was in a relationship with another man. Before they could react, Yukio's boyfriend had already been taken away from him.

Today he lives in a pretty apartment at the end of the city. He has graduated High School and has been studying chemogenetics. He works in a library for a living for now.

 

Appearance: Yukio is a small but slender male. He owns black hair and colourless eyes (making them appear red). He is short-sighted and wears contact lenses. Since High School he hasn't grown much further only lost a little weight.

 

 

 

It was something after eleven AM when he heard the knock at his door. Confused and obviously a little annoyed, Yukio turned the noodles in the pot around once more before he put the cooking spoon away. He made sure the stove wasn't too hot and then turned around to leave the open kitchen. He walked through the old-fashioned living room into the corridor, passing by three doors, before arriving at his apartment door. Who could want something from him around noon? Surely no postman. His neighbours?

A sigh left Yukio's lips. He could also just not open but the person outside had probably already heard his steps. Oh well, fine. Let's get this over with.

 

He turned the keys in the lock around, letting a 'click' sound appear that signalled the unlocking of the door. Then he turned the golden knob of the white door around and pulled it open. "Ye-?"

He blinked, once, twice, a third time. Lan? What was he doing here? Was it really him? Why hadn't he ... sent a letter or something if he knew that Yukio lived here?

The smaller one's reddish eyes moved down to spot a kid. Maybe three or four years old.

Yukio looked back up at Lan. He let go of the knob, crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. His usual cold expression that everybody knew returned. "Why are you here?" It was true, they had been in a relationship. He had loved him and he might still do. But why now? Why not earlier? Whose child was this? His own? Had he had a wife?

Tch...

[Kotorichan]

Lan could feel Caleb growing tense in his arms. "It's okay Caleb... Daddy's right here..." He murmured, hugging the boy a little closer to his chest. Caleb's tiny hands gripped the front of his shirt as he hid his face from the stranger.

 

"I'm sorry Yukio... I really didn't want to bother you with this. A lot of stuff happened and I couldn't contact you until just a couple months ago." He was so tired, but he had to hang in there. Yukio would no doubt want a proper explanation before agreeing to anything. "I don't have anyone else to turn to right now. I just need somewhere to stay for a few days, no more than a week. I can pay for food and we can stay out of your way, I just can't afford to pay for a hotel for that long"

 

His gaze dropped down to the top of Caleb's head. Lan really hated to talk about this in front of his son, it wasn't something a kid needed to hear.

 

"I can explain everything if you want. I really didn't want to get you involved, I just have no one else to ask"

[♠[Rin]♠]

Red eyes observed Lan's face. It was the same situation back then when they first met. Lan knew exactly that Yukio was full of mistrust towards everyone he didn't know. It was sad that they had known each other ... and that very well.

 

He listened to the other's explanation before a sigh left his lips. For a while he seemed to not be in the mood to answer, but then he pushed himself away from the door frame and stepped aside. "Let's not talk about this on the corridor and in front of him. Come in and warm up. Outside it's surely not warm." He let the duo step inside, before he closed the door and turned the keys around. The smell of spaghetti ruling the apartment right now. "You can lay him down on the couch in the living room," he added, pointing to the archway at the end of the corridor. He didn't take his eyes off Lan. This situation was... bizarre. And it caused a painful sting in his chest.

[Kotorichan]

A sigh of relief escaped Lan's lips, he had been afraid that Yukio might have held a grudge and forced him to talk about everything in front of Caleb. "Thanks..." He mumbled. It took some effort but he managed to get both suitcases inside without setting the boy down.

 

It really hurt to see Yukio again. He had missed his old lover so much and always wanted to come back here. But now that Lan had returned it just reminded him that it was impossible to go back to the way things were. He quickly refocused his attention to Caleb and carried him into the living room. "Daddy's just going to be in the other room with his friend" Lan set the child down on the couch and pulled Caleb's favorite blanket out of his backpack. "Try to get some rest, okay? I'll be right back" He smiled reassuringly and kissed the top of his head before tucking him in.

 

"I don't wanna be alone here..." Caleb lightly held onto his dad's shirt. "Why can't you talk here?"

 

"You need to sleep, I'll be right back. If you get scared then just yell and I'll come right away. I promise" Lan carefully removed the boy's hand from his shirt before pulling away.

 

He stood up and turned to Yukio. "Alright, where do you wanna talk?" The sadness in his voice was easy to hear, it hurt to talk to Yukio like a stranger. But in a way that's what they were now. It had been almost seven years since Lan had been taken away from his home. So much could happen... There wasn't any guarantee that Yukio himself hadn't gotten married. Some other man could walk in at any moment and ask what was happening.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio watched the scene with an undefined look in his eyes. He wasn't sure what to think of this "Daddy" here and "Daddy" there talk. Sure, it was a little boy, but he wouldn't have imagined Lan becoming that kind of father. Anyway, now he was here... with his son. It was unclear as to whether this would turn out positive or negative.

 

His red eyes moved over to Lan, who approached him and asked him where to talk. Yukio, instead of answering, waved the taller male over and vanished into the corridor. There he opened the second white door and they entered a neat-looking bedroom with a desk full of books and sheets. A cabinet with framed photographs, a few showing his family and other's showing him and Lan back then in High School.

That wasn't important now, though. Yukio turned around to face Lan. The window across the room let in some daylight that shone against his back. "What the hell happened?" Was the first question already. Due to his monotone voice it was hard to hear if he was angered or still calm.

[Kotorichan]

"I'm sorry..." Lan leaned back again the wall and rubbed his forehead. "I... Fuck... I don't even know where to start" his mind was spinning from all the different things he wanted to say. "I never wanted to leave you... My parents found out about us, and... You know how they are" He pushed his hands into his pockets. He could remember telling his lover about how homophobic his parents were, and how much he wished he could move out and live with Yukio. "I came home that day and they said I was going to visit my aunt on the other side of the country. When we got there they told me we weren't going back and my stuff was gonna be shipped to us... They cut me off from everyone for the next two years and threatened to throw me out on the streets. So... I had to just accept it. Eventually they let me start meeting people but they never gave me a chance to contact you. I forced myself to find a girlfriend so that they would give me some space... I never really loved her but eventually we got married anyway and well..." Lan still couldn't bring himself to look Yukio in the eye, he felt so horrible for coming back like this. "That's our kid out there..." he trailed off, unsure of how to say what happened next. How it all went wrong.

[♠[Rin]♠]

A small sigh passed Yukio's lips. A nice life his ex had built himself up there.. And now it had all broken down. He understood the reasons and all, but still it was hard to really accept them. Lan wasn't guilty in the end, but was it really that easy to just get along with somebody after such a spectacular story of a break-up?

 

In his eyes: no.

And besides; who guaranteed him that Lan would stay in touch with him? Nobody. He would probably leave one day and Yukio wouldn't see him again.

 

"I am still listening," Yukio said after a moment of silence in order to push the other male a bit. He had always been like that.

[Kotorichan]

Lan really didn't want to continue, the memories were so painful. He hadn't actually told anyone the details of what had happened, but Yukio needed to know.

 

"I didn't love her... But It was my own fault for going along with things like that. So I figured I should just stick with my choices and be the best husband and father I could. Things were fine for awhile, but then Jessica's brother died... She got really depressed and started drinking, I did my best to be supportive but it didn't do much" He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, taking a deep breath and blinking back tears. "She lost her job and stuff just got worse... She started yelling and hitting me, I could deal with it but then she started doing that stuff to Caleb"

 

The memories really were too much to say out loud. None of the other people he stayed with had been told more than that things 'got bad'. So this was the first time Lan had said any of this. "I tried telling my parents but they blamed me and Caleb for not being good enough... And they started yelling at us whenever we were around. I couldn't let them hurt Caleb, he didn't do anything wrong. He wasn't the one who let himself get pressured into a marriage." He wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "So about four months ago I took him and ran. I can work as long as I have my laptop so I've been staying with whoever I can while I save up enough to move in somewhere safe for Caleb... I didn't want to get you involved 'cause I figured it would just bring up bad memories. But I just need about a week and then you can forget about me. I just... I just need a floor to sleep on..."

 

Finally he managed to look at Yukio, his expression openly begging for help.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio listened without much movement. He simply kept his piercing stare up. He would have thought Lan had fucked it all up but it was on the other side this time - the others were bearing the blame. Not him. Just like back then in High School...

 

The dark-haired male crossed his arms after Lan finished. What should he do? Could he really co-sign for his ex and his child? On the other hand: how can he resist those sad eyes?

 

"The story is so sad that you should make a YouTube video about it. Maybe you'll even get followers," he commented coldly but thereon he added, "I work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. My cooking skills should be well enough to not poison you two. You sleep in my bed," he lifted one hand to point at the bed behind him with his thumb over his shoulder, "and I'll sleep on the couch. Don't make him cry, you know I love quiet. I don't use the TV, let him do that." Yukio lowered his arms and already did a step forward to pass Lan by, when he stopped and looked up at him again. "You've often made things complicated, you know? But do me a favour and don't ever commit suicide." He said that with a hint of gentleness in his voice, before he clapped the taller male on the shoulder and passed him by, eyeing the door.

[Kotorichan]

Lan caught Yukio's hand on his shoulder and held it for a moment. "Thank you, you really have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that?" He knew that he had a big stupid grin on his face despite the tears in his eyes. "We'll follow all your rules, and I can cook for you if want." He let go of the man's hand, a hint of sadness appearing in his smile. "Don't worry about that last part... I left that place to keep Caleb safe, I couldn't do something like that to him after all that. And..." He looked away again. "I couldn't hurt you anymore than I already have" He wanted so badly to tell Yukio how he still felt about him, but now wasn't the right time. Lan had already caused so much disarray in his ex's life, it was more than enough for one day.

 

He quietly walked back into the living room. Caleb was fast asleep on the couch, hugging a stuffed parrot that had been in his backpack. Lan frowned deeply when he noticed the tears drying on his son's face and pillow. He crouched down next to the bed and lightly wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry Caleb..." He breathed. "I shouldn't have left you alone like that..." The little boy whimpered in his sleep but didn't wake up.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio froze when Lan held his hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and his eyes moved up to the other. "Hah... you learned cooking? Remember that one time you almost burned my mother's kitchen? I think I'll be fine." He passed and left the room before Lan did. He only glanced at his Ex caring for his child then, while he walked back into the kitchen and sighed at the small portion of spaghetti. He was stupid, wasn't he?

He never wished to call Lan his ex. It still caused a sting in his chest.

 

"Hey, are you hungry?" he asked, stepping into the archway to the living room, his voice as calm as always, surely not loud enough to wake the sleeping boy up. "I still have some sushi and all. I can warm it up."

[Kotorichan]

"I'm getting better..." Land mumbled at the mention of his past attempts at cooking. He pulled the blanket up to Caleb's neck and kissed his forehead before before standing up. "Some food would be great"

 

He walked into the kitchen and glanced around. "Er, I know this is a weird question... But are you dating anyone? I don't want to get taken off guard by someone accusing me of trying to seduce you" Lan laughed softly, he really just wanted to know if there was any chance of them getting back together. But he couldn't flat out ask, not when there was a chance that Yukio could kick them out.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio nodded and walked over to the fridge, pulling its door open and setting a dish with sushi that had been standing inside, onto the counter. "No, I am not dating anyone. I've started loving my cat, though. Fear her." He answered coldly but somehow sarcastically and with a funny meaning. "I didn't want anyone else eventually."

 

Yukio opened the microwave, covered the sushi with another dish and set it inside. He closed the door and turned the microwave on.

[Kotorichan]

Lan laughed softly and leaned against the counter. "I'll keep that in mind..." He watched Yukio prepare the food. "Did you see other people who didn't work out...?" He trailed off and shook his head. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that. It's just kinda hard not to ask all the things I've been wondering for the past few years."

 

He straightened up and stretch. "Do you want me to do anything? Pour water, set the table? I feel bad for showing up and making you feed me"

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Yes I did. Why?" While watching the circling dish in the microwave, his arms crossing and he himself leaning against the counter. The why-question was spoken with a certain undertone in his voice. He found it strange that Lan asked those things. Of course he had some questions but those at first?

Lan had something in mind.

[Kotorichan]

"Sorry..." Lan looked away, he could tell that he was getting Yukio upset. He didn't want to tell the man everything, but he had completely ruined his chance of hiding it.

 

"I've just been wondering about that stuff ever since I found out I couldn't contract you... Stuff like whether or not you'd find a guy to settle down with... Or how long you'd wait for me before giving up and moving on... Or if you were gonna get hurt by someone and I wouldn't be there for you..." He stared down at the floor. "I've never really gotten over you, I'm not gonna try to convince you to get back together with me especially since I'm messing things up for you just by being here. I just wanted to know the answers to some of those questions. I won't ask anymore of that stuff if it bothers you."

[♠[Rin]♠]

"I had wondered as well when I had the time," Yukio replied. "You know, studying, projects, university. All that stuff got into my head and distracted me from that whole in my heart. Oh and I even got a girlfriend! Just let me... think about the name... Oh, yes, it was Loneliness." To be honest he didn't even blame Lan for everything. He knew it hadn't been his choice to leave.

 

The microwave stopped and peeped. Yukio opened it, set the dish onto the counter and added a pair of chopsticks to it. Then he lifted it up and handed it over to Lan, a little bit roughly. Staring into his eyes. "I'm still waiting for you." Before he lowered his arms and passed him by.

[Kotorichan]

Lan winced at the boy's harsh words. He had been expecting Yukio to be angry, but it still made him feel terrible. He took the plate with a soft 'thank you'.

 

His eyes widened at the next comment. "Yukio, wait" he held the plate with one hand and grabbed the boy's hand with the other. "What do you mean by that? Do you still like me?" He had to force himself not to raise his voice.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio froze when his hand was taken by the other male. He stood there for a moment, before he looked over his shoulder. "-"...Are you really that blind?"

Admitted, Yukio barely talked about his feelings and lacked of showing emotions, but he sometimes thought that Lan would realize or notice things. Not that he or any other normal human being could do that. Yukio's way of thinking was just a little too complex sometimes.

[Kotorichan]

"I guess so" Lan smiled sadly "I just don't want to force you into an uncomfortable situation, but I also don't want to give up if I still have a chance." He pressed a kiss to Yukio's hand. "I'm not gonna understand if you don't just tell me... I know I used to be able to read you really well, but it's been a long time"

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio pulled his hand away, before he turned back around to the taller male. A small blush had crept onto his cheeks, though he ignored it. "I think the first thing you should think about is your son. You do have a chance... though..." So much had happened the last few years. Lan was father. His son was terribly confused and the financial situation wasn't the best either. He knew Lan was stubborn but he wanted him to be safe before they would get closer again.

 

His heart was pounding. Somehow, this conversation was painful.

 

"I have been wishing for this day to come. When I can see you again. But you need to realize that your son is more important and his life is connected with your finances," he continued with a lowered voice. "You need an acceptable apartment and the money to be able to pay a good education." He sighed. "Enjoy your meal."

[Kotorichan]

Lan felt his chest tighten as Yukio reminded him of his responsibilities. "Yeah... I know he's..." He trailed off, unable to form the right words. Caleb meant so much to him, there wasn't any way to properly say it. "He's my life" Lan finally murmured. There wasn't a hint of resentment in his voice, just sadness. He had fucked up so much. His own life, Caleb's life... And to a certain extent even Yukio's life. His stupid choices had done so much damage.

 

"Thank you Yukio" He looked up at his ex and gave him a slight smile before turning to his food and starting to eat. He listened carefully for any noises from Caleb. If Lan could get Caleb back in school then it would be a huge step forward. The child needed to go back to a normal life.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Sometimes he wished for things to be easier. But priority was priority. Not that he thought Lan couldn't handle a relationship and business, including his son. Though, it just didn't feel right to rush now. Lan would stay here with his child, work and sooner or later things would either work out or not. After all: Who was he to steal Caleb's father away? At least somewhat. The kid was already stressed and confused and probably could use some calm time.

 

"No problem, really." Yukio replied, glancing over his shoulder. "I think there is a playground in the park around here. A walk of maybe five minutes. Just inform me if you want to leave or something or need anything. Because I have only one key." Sounded reasonable, right? Lan shouldn't be locked out one day and Yukio knew very well his own mental clumsiness of forgetting things.

 

Oh, and there was another thing. Now that they were three people in this apartment, there was one thing unavoidable: "Tomorrow we'll go shopping. I have food for one person only, after all." Let alone toothbrushes, pasta, toilet paper, ....

He only now really started to realize what they'd need. And better not let his parents find out.

[Kotorichan]

"I can pay for our food... I just need somewhere for Caleb to be safe. I didn't want to take him to a homeless shelter if possible" Lan chewed his lip. "I've been able to figure out how much I can spend on food and still be saving up enough to get an apartment that'll be safe for him... Really I found a place that we could've moved into last week but it was falling apart and seemed way too dangerous"

 

"I'm glad there's a park nearby I'll let you know when we go out." He gave Yukio a tired smile.

 

"It'd be really nice to actually have some time to just play with Caleb instead of just keeping an eye on him while I work..." He murmured before turning back to his food. Lan had been spending almost every waking moment on work so they could find a home as soon as possible. But that had meant that he was never able to give his son any proper attention.